My Super-powered Diary Chapter 10 Turning the Page By Amethyst When Maddock Ainsley gets involved in a rescue operation with his unit things go horribly wrong and his life is forever changed. Can the newly minted Merida cope with being a girl and a teenage super hero?

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night after a terrible dream where all my teammates had died at Phantom’s hands then she had killed Vanessa, Tasha, Blair and the twins as well, while I could only watch helplessly. My heart was racing, my breath was coming in great heaving gasps, I was shaking uncontrollably, and I could feel hot tears running down my face as I sniffled feebly and tried to calm myself down without waking the twins in my lap. It hadn’t been the first such dream since we had escaped and eventually I managed to slow my breathing and pulse as I focused on making sure that Shu and Mei were properly covered and sleeping soundly. Then, once I had finally managed to put the dream mostly out of my mind and put a firm stop to the shaking and crying, I drifted off into a deeper, sounder sleep as I held the twins close.

I woke again in the early morning, feeling a bit stiff from my odd sleeping position as the twins shifted in my lap. They were moving carefully, trying not to wake me, and I couldn’t help but smile at that as I said, “Good mornin’.”

“We were trying not to wake you,” Shu offered apologetically as they both leaned in to hug me.

“Yeah, it’s not even six yet,” Mei agreed as I hugged the pair back.

Dinnae worry aboot it,” I replied with a shrug as we all let one another go. “I’m used tae wakin’ up this early, an’ I should be exercisin’ anyway if I wan’ tae stay in shape. I think I’ll get dressed, dae ma usual mornin’ routine, an’ go fer a run.”

I went upstairs to go to the bathroom and discovered, much to my relief that my period seemed to be over. After quickly brushing my teeth, while trying to be as quiet as possible not to wake Vanessa who was asleep in the bathtub, I went back to change into a new pair of panties and one of the sports bras that I had bought. After a moment’s consideration I decided on the black and pink spandex sports top and shorts that would go better with the black and pink of my sneakers and got dressed. I knew that I needed to get used to the girly stuff, and to do that I would need to stop hiding from it like I had been.

When I returned downstairs to the living room to start in on my morning exercises, with my hair tied back in a long ponytail and out of my way, I was surprised to find the twins waiting for me dressed in exercise clothes as well. They didn’t let me say a word before Mei spoke up. “We want to learn to fight, so we decided that we want you to teach us.”

“Yeah,” Shu quickly agreed, “Neither of us was really very useful during our escape, but we have powers now and we need to learn to protect ourselves and each other. Vanessa and Tasha want in on it too, but we thought that we’d let them sleep in today since none of us planned on asking you until you were feeling better.”

“Wha’ dae ya mean ya wan’ me tae teach ya?” I asked a bit concerned. “If I learned anythin’ a’ the mall it was tha’ I cannae fight the way I used tae. I’m no’ near as strong as I was and cannae depend on ma strength anymore. I’ll need tae completely change ma trainin’ routine.”

“We’re all girls, none of us can really use strength to fight, ‘cept you when you’re powered up,” Mei pointed out. “So we’re going to exercise with you to get in shape. Besides you probably know all sorts of ways to fight without strength so you can teach us those.”

“Besides, it’s only fair that if we teach you about being a girl that you teach us stuff too,” Shu added.

I thought about it for a moment. I had been planning on changing my routine to favor stamina, speed and agility over strength anyway. My personal style may have used my strength to my advantage, but all of the combat training we had done for my unit involved a mix of skills for all situations: Martial arts, fighting multiple opponents solo or as a team, tactical thinking, lethal and non-lethal means of subduing or incapacitating opponents, in addition to various weapons training. I could always work our training program around that, while excluding the lethal techniques.

Girls needed to be able to defend themselves, especially these girls. Our powers may make us targets of other organizations like Omega, and if we had to fight as a unit again I’d feel a lot better if they had the proper training. Blair… err Mom even seemed to think we would need to think of that in the future too, since she had specifically mentioned the possibility of future combat when she had suggested that I take up archery the night before. Finally I nodded. “Aye, bu’ this is goin’ tae be the toughest trainin’ any o’ ya will e’er experience. I will no’ be goin’ easy on ya.

Since I didn’t really know their limitations, or those of my new body, very well yet I started us off with a twenty minute run, half of it heading westward through the neighborhood and then back to the house we were currently renting. Then I put us through my regular morning fitness routine, or at least the one I used when I didn’t have a gym available. I didn’t plan on teaching any actual combat techniques until Vanessa and Tasha could join us though. We were all exhausted and more than a bit sweaty when we were finished. By then Tasha and Vanessa were awake and helping Mom make breakfast so I took a shower in the bathroom that Vanessa had vacated while the twins took turns in the other. I had almost forgotten what a pain in the ass it was washing all of my hair, but things got even more annoyingly complicated when Mom had Vanessa come in to show me how to shave the fine hairs on my legs and under my arms. Breakfast had already gotten cold and the twins had both finished their own showers by the time I was finished and downstairs again.

After finishing my breakfast, still in my white bathrobe, Vanessa took me back to the bedroom I was using to help me get ready for the funeral. I got dressed in my black dress and heels and had a bit of practice walking around in them before Vanessa set me down to work on brushing my hair out properly and then working on putting some light makeup on my face. She was sure to explain every step and why she was doing it as she worked and I watched in the mirror. Then, once I was as ready as I was going to get, she started getting herself ready.

Attending one’s own funeral is a disturbing experience. It was made only more so by the fact that the only attendees were our family group, three or four friends I hadn’t seen much of since high school, General Nelson, and the honor guard. Most of my real friends had been in my unit and they had all died, save me and Reaper who were also legally dead, if not in body and spirit. It was actually a bit depressing how few people had shown up, and it made me wonder how I had not been lonely all those years with only the company of those I had served with and the occasional visit to my sister or now-dead parents.

They had gone for full honors on the funeral at least. There was the honor guard, the three-volley salute, the lone bugler playing Taps, and finally the folding of the flag before General Nelson himself presented it to Blair. We were both tearing up a bit by that point, and I gave a tearful farewell to my former life as the empty casket was lowered into the ground. The worst part though was standing there while the attendees came to give us their condolences and I was introduced to old friends as Maddock’s niece. I just kept wanting to yell out, “I’m not dead, I’m right here!” as I stood there crying and feeling the tightness in my chest become more and more unbearable, my hands tightly clenched at my sides as I fought to keep my powers from activating.

I was relieved when it was all finally over and we were able to head back to what was home for the moment. That relief lessened some as I noticed the black sedan with tinted windows parked outside the house. We had barely pulled into the driveway and stepped out of the SUV when two women stepped out of the sedan and approached us. The woman in the lead was a tall raven-haired beauty with silver eyes and was dressed in a very professional manner. The other though was a woman of average height, and somewhat slender build, who wore a black and dark purple bodysuit that covered her entire face and body, even her eyes and mouth. “You’re Smith’s friends?” Andy asked uncertainly as he stepped between the approaching women and the rest of us.

The woman in the lead nodded. “Yes, and you must be Mr. Tomkins. Agent Smith suggested that your daughters may need our help. Perhaps introductions should wait until we can have a little more privacy though, we have much to discuss.”

Andy seemed to relax somewhat at that, though the rest of us were still a bit on guard as he led the pair of women into the house. The silent woman in the bodysuit was casting long looks in my direction, and had me a little on edge, so I once again had to fight to keep my powers buried as Mom held us back for a moment. “It’s okay girls. A friend of ours sen’ these people and if he says we can trust them, then we can trust them. They’re here to help.”

The other girls relaxed a bit at that, and while I figured that Smith could be trusted since he had gone to bat for us before, I was still a little on edge from the long looks the one woman had sent my way. Then we all went inside to join Andy and the two women, where the black-haired woman immediately introduced herself and her companion. “I’m Dr. Alana Edwards, the founder and headmistress for Pacific Seaside Academy, though most people know me by the name Mystech. My companion is Kendra Wilson, or Toxin.”

“I’ve heard of ya, yuir a Tinker too right? Ya already know ma fiancé it seems,” Mom said with a shrug before introducing the rest of us in turn. “I’m Blair Ainsley an’ these are ma daughters: Merida, Tasha, Vanessa, Mei, and Shu.”

Dr. Edwards nodded. “Yes Dr. Ainsley, I’m a Category four Tinker and Mage. I mostly specialize in hybridizing magic and technology for security and other areas of interest. You’re an MD correct? With Doctorates in medicine, engineering, biotech, physics, comparative Hyper biology, medical science, and applied sciences.”

Mom narrowed her eyes. “You’ve done yuir research.”

“Your name came up a few times when I was looking for new staff for my school this summer,” the woman admitted. “I could use someone like you as chief of medicine for our medical clinic, not to mention on several of our current research projects. I had planned on approaching you, but you were unavailable until recently. Smith told me that may have changed when he informed me of the current situation with your ‘daughters’.”

“And how much did Smith tell ya exactly?” Mom asked. She had perked up briefly at the off-handed job offer, but she was still being cautious.

“He told me everything,” Mystech admitted with a shrug. “It’s best that I know exactly what I’m dealing with. This information will of course remain classified. Kendra only knows because she is one of our school trauma counsellors and I fear that these girls may need to speak with her openly about what they’ve been through. She usually works with students with particularly difficult or traumatizing power sets or physical changes, but given what your girls have been through I think it’s best that they have someone they can talk to if they feel the need. I would like to begin by testing them all individually and allowing Kendra and Merida to speak for a bit alone so that we can assess what exactly we’re dealing with.”

Once our parents had agreed to her request, Dr. Edwards created a magical doorway and we were all about to step through when Toxin placed a hand on my shoulder. “Wait Miss Ainsley, you’ll be tested last so that I can have that talk with you now, while your sisters get tested and your parents watch from the control room.” Mom looked at me uncertainly, but I sighed and gave her a nod. Then they all stepped through the shimmering silver door of light, leaving me alone with Toxin.

She started off by telling me about herself, probably in an attempt to make me comfortable with her and more willing to talk about myself. The reason for her bodysuit, and apparently her codename as well, was because her power seemed to be just being deadly. Her skin and hair excrete a powerful poison that kills on contact, and her blood is among the most toxic substances on Earth. Her mutation was especially hard on her when she Activated because she wanted to be a doctor and help people, now her mere touch kills them. It was sad really, and actually kind of helped put my own problems in perspective.

After that she had be take some tests that she had brought as we sat at the kitchen table. When I was finished, the conversation that followed as she looked over my answers was long and sometimes awkward. She asked me various questions about how I was feeling or adjusting, how I saw being female compared to being male, hypothetical situations, what I was thinking about when I Activated, what I dreamed about, and a lot of personal questions that I didn’t really want anyone asking me. At times I got angry, sad or defensive from some of the things she asked or implied and my force field activated three times when I was particularly upset. Each time it seemed harder to get control of it again, but at least I didn’t blow anything up since I was careful to sit perfectly still.

Finally, almost two hours after we began, Kendra apologized. “I’m sorry Merida, I know that some of those questions must have been difficult for you. I want to help you though and I hope that you can trust me enough to allow me to do that once you’re a student at the school. I won’t share anything we ever discuss with anyone without your permission, but I do feel that we should tell your family and Dr. Edwards about the issues we’ll be trying to work through so that they can be part of the process or at least be aware of them.”

“Issues?” I questioned her with a frown. “As far as I ken, the only issue I ‘ave is adjustin’ tae bein’ a girl an’ a kid.”

She sighed and placed her hands on both of my shoulders. It was hard to read any expressions from her with her face completely hidden like it was, but her tone was heavy with concern as she said, “Merida, the events leading to your Activation were extremely traumatic for you, even more so than the age regression and becoming female. Your Archetype is helping you to adjust to your new age and gender, but that first trauma has had a profound effect on you. The dreams you told me about lead me to believe that you may be suffering from PTSD. There is also ample evidence in your answers to the tests, as well as your reactions to some of the questions I asked, to point toward PCEDS as well.”

I knew what PTSD was and I could even grudgingly admit that it was a possibility, but I had no idea what the other thing she was talking about was. “PCEDS? Wot the ‘ell is tha’?”

“It stands for Pre-conceived Emotional Distress Syndrome,” she clarified. “I’ve only heard of three previous cases in North America over the past ten years, but it is part of a broader condition called Transformative Stereotype Disorder which happens sometimes with Hypers who go through major physiological changes when they Activate. You know how your Archetype can be affected based on powers, preconceived notions or beliefs or environmental conditions?”

When I nodded in response to her question she continued to speak. “Well sometimes when a Hyper held strong preconceived beliefs about the form they change to when Activating, that belief is embedded in their Archetype and can have an actual physical and/or psychological effect on them afterwards. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophesy. With PCEDS it’s when a male becomes a female during their Activation and they believed females to be very emotional and incapable of adequately controlling those emotions beforehand. These girls don’t have near as strong an emotional filter as other girls. Their emotional states can become very overwhelming, especially during their teens when their hormones are in full swing.”

I shook my head fast enough to make myself dizzy as I fought the surge of fear and panic that were tightening my chest, and to keep my force field from surfacing again. “Nae! There’s nothin’ wrong wi’ me! I was in full control the ‘ole time we were captives!” Except deep down I knew that I wasn’t. I could think of several times where I had lost it emotionally and hadn’t been able to control myself. “I was able tae pu’ maself in mission mode an’ compartment’lize ma emotions durin’ combat situations! I kin jus’ keep doin’ tha’!”

“You can’t bury your emotions every hour of every day and you know it Merida, it would only lead to a nervous breakdown, probably have severe long term repercussions, and with your powers the consequences could be disastrous. As your powers become more natural to you and easier to summon at will, they’re also going to become more instinctive, reacting whenever you feel strong emotions, but you’ve already been noticing that haven’t you?”

I looked at the floor, but nodded. “Aye, I ‘ave tae keep fightin’ tae keep ma force field from appearin’.”

“That’s a common issue for girls with PCEDS,” she explained. “You need to try to be aware of your emotional states and when you need to let off steam, find a way to do it in a safe way where nobody gets hurt. Perhaps since you’re already upset we should go do your testing now so you can let loose a bit and vent some of that frustration.”

Toxin led me through the shimmering silver portal and into a room where everyone but Vanessa was watching the mermaid on a large computer screen as Mystech stood before a large control panel, looking at readings and occasionally tapping at various buttons or touch screens. Vanessa had just used her hydrokinesis to put out a fire while ignoring several blows to her back from a robot which she quickly used a high pressure water blast to blow a hole through once she was finished putting out the flames.

“Wot is this place?” I wondered aloud as I took a look around the control room.

“This is one of the Pacific Seaside Academy’s PDE rooms,” Mystech explained as a shimmering door appeared and Vanessa emerged to join us. “It stands for Pocket Dimension Environment. I helped my mentor Deep Blue to design them for AMPS years ago. It’s a school like PSA in Canada. It’s where I learned to control my powers, I was one of their first graduates. Three years ago I decided to start PSA, and we’ll be starting our second year in September, I hope you’ll all decide to join us. How did your talk go?”

Kendra looked toward me and I gave her a reluctant nod and my unspoken consent. “It’s going to be a long road for Merida, but it’s about what I was expecting.” Mystech gave a knowing nod and everyone was looking at me with worried expressions. “Why don’t I explain things while Merida does her testing, I think she needs to let loose a bit.”

I happily changed into the offered bodysuit with all the various metal discs and wires and such attached and then dove through the portal that opened to emerge in some kind of city where Mystech’s voice began issuing instructions. I was really able to let loose as I fought against various robots and magical constructs, following specific instructions when asked, but generally just taking a beating, hitting things and blowing the shit out of whatever she threw against me. It was very therapeutic. Finally she had me just stand there and keep pumping as much energy into my force field as I could. At first it was pulsed and bubbled chaotically, feeling extremely unstable, and then it was like the day that I Activated as my field flared wildly like an inferno as my sweat evaporated the sensors and wires on the suit began to melt and then the suit itself burned to ash.

I was tired as I left through the portal that had appeared and gratefully accepted the robe that Toxin offered me. Then we returned through the portal and back to our living room, where Mystech began going over the results of our testing. “Tasha is definitely a Psychic, with her sixth sense being her most powerful ability and rated as a Category four. She also has a Category one telepathic ability and a Category two teleportation ability that seems to be tied in to her sixth sense and has a range of about fifty feet.”

“Nothing too surprising there,” Tasha said with a shrug.

Mystech nodded as she looked over the next report. “Vanessa is a Category three Shifter and Category four hydrokinetic with Category three invulnerability, which I assume is to help her survive under the higher pressure in deep water. She can also breathe underwater with the help of gills that appear on her neck whenever she’s fully submerged.”

“Yeah that last one was a bit of a shocker,” the mermaid admitted. “I never let myself fully submerge before today, not that I really could in a bathtub. Gills feel really weird too.”

“Shu is classified as a Category four Wildcard, with an ability to not only create and access pocket dimensions, but also to pass through the barriers between dimensions, though she’ll need to work on training the latter.” Mystech frowned as she looked from Shu over to me and Mei and sighed as she added, “Mei and Merida are both Category fives, and will need training badly. Mei is a Wildcard, possibly magic based, and her ability is to warp reality to create life. This isn’t summoning creatures from other planes, or simulating living creatures from energy or matter, but actually creating new life within our reality. It’s genesis.”

“But her summons are only temporary, they aren’t really all that powerful, and they always vanish when she falls asleep,” Vanessa said with a frown. “They’re basically just imaginary friends that we can all see. She doesn’t really strike me as the ‘dangerous to everyone around her’ type.”

“She can create life, in any form she can imagine,” Mystech stressed. “I have never heard of a mutant with such a far reaching ability before. Think of it like a game. Let’s say that at full power she has ten points, but when she uses her power she has to spread them out over four categories: Mass, duration, number of summons, and how much control she can exert over them. She could summon one huge creature or multiple smaller creatures that she has no control over for a short time, which could be chaotic or dangerous. She could put all those points in control to give a creature a very specific short term task, or put all the points into duration for one small creature that could last a long time and she would have no direct control over. She could also mix and match combinations of these four categories, but if she chooses not to put anything into control, those creatures will act based on their instincts or individual personalities as she imagined them.”

“Okay, I can see where things could get a little crazy, but they still vanish after a time, or when she’s unconscious,” Vanessa insisted.

“That’s because they aren’t anchored to our reality, which is basically what the duration category is for,” she explained. “Now let’s say that the reason there is only ten points is for her own safety and she decides to push beyond that for some reason...”

“Godzilla,” Mom muttered. “She was unconscious for over twelve hours after tha’, she slept through the trip to the base and into the next morning. She must have put all the power she could muster into size. If she did tha’ with duration…”

Mei had already seemed to put all of that together and the golden glow of her power flared blindingly around her before she suddenly passed out, with a six inch tall, naked pixie who resembled Tinkerbell hovering over her looking very concerned. Mom was on her immediately checking her pulse, breathing, and raising her eyelids to check eye movement. Finally she breathed a sigh of relief. “She’s just unconscious, she pushed herself too far.”

The pixie breathed a sigh of relief right along with the rest of us as Mystech stared at it, muttering something as she glowed a pale silver color. Finally the raven-haired woman spoke. “It’s permanently anchored to our reality now. That girl needs to learn to control her power and impulses. If the wrong people found out about her…” She didn’t finish that sentence, nor did she have to since we could all imagine very well what people would give to control a power like that.

I was carefully laying Mei on the couch and covering her with the blanket she had used last night as the pixie and Shu looked on in concern. “She’ll be fine,” I tried to reassure them both.

That was when the Headmistress of PSA decided to address the other elephant in the room, namely me. “As concerning as that girl’s powers are, Merida’s are even more so. She’s a Cat five Energy Manipulator, and a versatile one at that. At basic output levels the energy seems solid allowing her to create constructs or her force field. Her flight and increased strength and speed are a result of her manipulating that field either consciously or subconsciously. When she puts too much energy into her field or constructs the energy becomes unstable and explosive to anything that they hit with enough force. If she were to continue putting energy into them, and they didn’t explode first, the energy becomes a form of superheated plasma.”

“Well, tha’ explains why ma clothes turned tae ash when I changed,” I muttered.

“Yes, your powers were going critical from the bomb’s radiation, but anything within your energy field seems to be protected from that energy or what’s happening outside it, no matter what the state of the energy itself, which is how you were able to survive. From what I can glean, you can summon and control it at will, but my main concern is that you are very powerful, and with your condition your powers are going to react instinctively whenever you feel vulnerable, angry, defensive, scared, hurt, or other any other powerful negative emotions.”

“So what do we do then?” Andy inquired.

“I am prepared to accept all five girls to PSA, and they wouldn’t have to pay tuition if one or both of their parents were to be employed there,” Mystech said with a smile. “Dr. Ainsley, I really could use you as my chief of medicine, and on a variety of research projects. I’m sure that your talents would prove very useful in our IT and cyber security departments as well Mr. Tomkins. Agent Smith spoke very highly of you.”

“I’ll do it,” Andy and Mom said simultaneously.

“Great! I’ll have Kendra bring the paperwork and some information packets on Monday, I’d like her to speak with Vanessa and have her take some tests as well anyway to ensure she has no major issues from her transformation,” The raven-haired mutant suggested. “We can discuss the details once you’ve had a chance to look everything over.”