MY Giant Robot
Disclaimer: This is a work of friction. Any resemblance to real people or events is probably intentional, but I’m doing it real subtle-like, so they probably won’t even notice.
Once, not long ago, I was abducted by aliens. They wanted to know all about us, to negate the home field advantage when they eventually brought their alien armada to Earth to enslave us and most likely rub the victory in our faces for all time. When the green menace held me captive they did all sorts of experiments on me and in the end I went from being a cool and confident thirty year old man to a timid and twelve year old girl who feared interacting with others, but most of all feared confrontation. Unbeknownst to the aliens when they released me though was the fact that their experiments had gifted me with an amazing brain.
I spent much of the next six months getting used to my new self and generally avoiding any sort of social situations, it seemed that I was a stay-at-home kind of girl. It was Paul who took me in. He let me live in his basement and he never pressured me to conform, go out and meet new people, or be someone that I wasn’t comfortable with, because he was just awesome like that. Since my change I had felt so small, so vulnerable and I missed having all that confidence. Ironically it was the aliens who helped me to get past that.
When their first wave of attack came and completely overwhelmed Earth’s meager military might I decided to fight back. That was when I built my giant robot. Paul was really smart too, he probably could have built his own giant robot, and didn’t have any interest in helping me build mine, he did watch and offer advice. He always knew if one part wouldn’t work with another and if another part should be used instead so I learned to trust him on that kind of thing. I used any bit of scrap I could find to design and build my giant robot, but the most important piece, the piece that held the whole thing together was a tiny spring from my toaster. Sure I would miss eating toast, but I thought that the fate of the world might just be worth it.
When the next wave of attack came I was ready. My giant robot made me feel big and strong and indestructible once again and I sent those aliens packing. I had saved the world and the people loved me and my giant robot, so happy ending right? Not quite, for you see those aliens were determined little bastards and kept on attacking us. Each time I would save the world and the people would love me and my giant robot even more, but they were learning and each victory was more difficult.
So I decided I needed some help. I met someone who had a really great idea for my giant robot. Tina had some new weapons and a force field that we could add to make my giant robot even better. Paul told me though that the parts wouldn’t work with it as they were and some changes should be made to make sure it all worked together properly. He was afraid that placing contrary parts in my giant robot would destroy it.
Tina on the other hand thought that Paul didn’t understand how the parts worked and possibly that Paul wanted to change what she had created. I felt that I was going to be dragged into the middle of a confrontation, and without my giant robot to protect me. After trying to explain to each what the other was telling me, I couldn’t make them understand what each other seemed to want to get across. In the end I put them in a room together hoping that if they talked it out that they would be able to compromise and find ways to make Tina’s parts work properly with my giant robot without changing the parts too much, possibly an adapter or something.
Both had valid points and I felt trapped in the middle, like each of them was pulling on one of my arms and forgetting that it was my giant robot they were talking about. Both seemed to think they were in the right, though neither thought to compromise before the aliens attacked again. So I decided to go save the world again on my own, after all it was my giant robot. It might not be as great as it could be with those new parts working properly in it, but I had saved the world in it before and I could do it again. The battle was terrible and even though my giant robot was damaged it had pulled through. Afterwards I decided that I should go home and decide what improvements I could make to my giant robot… or maybe I’d just make some toast.
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