Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2587

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2587
by Angharad

Copyright© 2015 Angharad

  
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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Sunday was a day of rest—theoretically, instead, Helen started and I had to show her all the same things as I’d done with Lorraine. I kept telling myself it would be better eventually, I hoped it was true.

David did a lovely roast lunch and we all feasted on it. Afterwards I went to do some work on the survey, which was where Trish found me an hour later—fast asleep. “Mummy, you’re wanted on the phone.”

“Who is it?”

“Cindy’s mum.”

Muttering that I hoped she wasn’t going to dump her on us again I picked up the handset. “Hello?”

“Cathy, have you seen the Sunday papers?”

“Not really, why?”

I nearly fell over, apparently a leading tabloid had published a story suggesting that I was some evil witch who enjoyed turning boys into girls, and that Danni had been the latest one. They suggested I was the worst sort of pervert. She asked if I wanted her to take Danni to school in the morning. I thanked her but declined. If we’re going onto a war footing, I wanted all my kids with me.

I went on the internet and saw the article, it was total nonsense but could cause all sorts of bother. I sent an email with a link to Jason. Amazingly, he sent one back saying he’d be looking for major damages. I left the revenge to him. My next job was to advise the rest of the family and also Helen. I left Julie to explain the full situation to her.

The evening dragged but the night flew even though I was awake for much of it. Simon offered to come with me to the school but I declined, all I needed was him on bail for attempted murder of a tabloid journalist. I took the Ford in case I had to do some escape driving. We drew up outside the school and Sister Maria was remonstrating with two men. I had an idea of who they might be.

Holding hands, I walked the girls towards the school entrance, one of the men saw me and grabbed Livvie, “Here, darlin’, what was your name when you were a boy?” I was biting my tongue and keeping hold of the girls trying to keep my patience.

“I’m a girl you big oaf, or can’t you see that?”

“Yeah, but before like when you were a boy.”

“I’ve never been a boy, you moron,” and with that she drew her hand from his and then pulled it back and punched him in the short and curlies. He went a funny colour before keeling over gasping for air like a fish out of water. Before the other one was seriously injured by one of my girls, I rushed them into school. It made me smile that the hunters might possibly become the prey.

He helped his injured colleague to his feet where he seemed to be walking on his toes while swearing. It was difficult to control my urge to laugh. They limped off to their car threatening all sorts of revenge. I sent Jason and Simon a text saying what happened. Jason texted back asking if I’d got a witness—I did, Sister Maria, who said she’d testify about what she’d seen happen. Livvie responded to being grabbed, then she burst out laughing, “Did you see his face when she clocked him one? He went down like a stone.”

My phone peeped and Delia said we had unwanted visitors at the university. I called her from the safety of the car, at least I couldn’t be overheard from there. We determined I should work from home and anything urgent she’d bring over to me or ask Tom to bring it when he came home. I wasn’t expecting anything.

Back at home I closed the gates and sent texts to everyone telling them what I’d done. Tom sent me one back saying he’d collect the girls and for me to rest as he’d seen me looking quite drawn at breakfast. I had a cup of latte coffee, I couldn’t face anything to eat until David showed me some frangipani cakes he’d made on Saturday. I had one just for research purposes. It was delicious, however, half an hour after the sugar hit I zonked at the computer and Jacquie insisted I went and lay down for an hour.

The phone went and I was told Delia was bringing some letters and other documents for me to sign. I stumbled downstairs after rinsing my face and combing my hair. David was doing tuna salad—or should I say, he was making a salad to go with grilled tuna steaks and new potatoes in butter with garlic. I had just enough time to text Delia to say she was invited to lunch. Her response back was, ‘Yes please.’

Jacqui let her in as I put on a bit of slap to make myself look and feel a little better, I suppose it helped. Delia arrived at about twelve forty five so we had lunch, the others waiting until she’d come. David is a magician when it comes to food. One sniff in the kitchen and my tummy was growling like an angry dog. We all ate too much, but the only drink on offer was elderflower pressé, during the meal and tea afterwards. Helen was very impressed. “You eat like this every day?”

“Uh no,” answered David, “only when the boss is home.”

“Oh,” was her reply riven with disappointment.

“Don’t worry, Helen, his snacks are brilliant, you won’t want to eat here too often or your clothes won’t fit.”

Three quarters of an hour after eating far too much, Delia and I took some fresh mugs of tea and withdrew to my study. “We had half a dozen prowling round this morning. Professor Agnew came and told them you weren’t in so they could push off. He also said he didn’t know when you’d be back, you were on leave of absence.”

“I’ve got a refresher lecture to do tomorrow.”

“I could cancel it,” she offered.

“No dammit, I’m not allowing some dirty little hack to intimidate me. I’m going to carry on with my life as normal.”

“Perhaps you should see what the situation is like each day before running into an ambush,” counselled my secretary before we dealt with the paperwork she’d brought.

I determined I was going to stick with my decision. Sister Maria had noted the number of the car driven by the two men this morning and unbeknown to me had called the police. They came and interviewed the girls with Sister Maria and looked to be pressing charges for assaulting a minor. When Livvie’s retaliation was discussed they made a note of it once they’d stopped laughing, but thought it was not inappropriate. So if the guy complains, they have witness statements of the incident. In the end I was quite glad because the guy did try to say I’d hit him and was looking to charge me with common assault—ha ha, I’m an aristocrat’s wife, nothing common about me, duckie.

When he filed his complaint, he was arrested for assaulting a minor and making false accusations to which they added wasting police time and seeking to pervert the course of justice.

Just after Delia went, the police arrived for a statement from me. I gave one and the young copper chuckled as he read it. “Did your daughter really drop him?”

“She caught him right in the gonads—he dropped like a stone.”

“According to your reputation, she must follow in her mother’s footsteps, all that blue blood. It’s in her genes.”

I nodded even though I knew he was incorrect, it was easier.

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Comments

Oy...

The trials and tribulations of the rich and famous... I guess Cathy can be glad she's not related to some "Reality TV" stars, as a certain retired US athlete... Though, the tabloids don't seem to let them slow down when it comes to her. I guess I'm lucky I'm such an uninteresting individual...

Sad the kids have to deal with such things. I wonder how the two house help will deal with the tabloids. I hope neither succumb to their blandishments.

Thanks,
Annette

Who is the real power behind the press?

Rhona McCloud's picture

Years ago the communists through the unions were thought behind a tabloid but now, with not only Cathy but the University and High Street Bank in play, newspaper editors and shareholders might be vulnerable.

Rhona McCloud

Must've learned from Trish.

The great part is that she is probably right at groin level so she would push with her entire body weight. It is probably just as painful as being kneed by a grown woman.

Would have loved to been

Would have loved to been there and seen that happen, and had a camera with me. As they say in the TV news field, "Film at 11". (snicker) Janice Lynn

Media Weasels ...

His merely touching her was unlawful assault. Glad to see that one of them got his.

Having said that, I've been approached to be a paid blogger and who knows where that would go? Would I have to behave myself and say only things that were pleasing to my keepers? I think I prefer just being a pointedly pithy old broad.

the kids do take after their mother

How much of personality is environmental?

Cathy is teaching them well.

Glad the rat was arrested. Wish they'd actually hold him. Maybe "assaulting a child" will accomplish that.

If he'd pulled Livvie away from Cathy they could have added attempted kidnapping too.

Perhaps the family needs to hire bodyguards for a while.

Livvie certainly

ended her "interview" in a very conclusive fashion , Serves the reporter right, He ought to consider himself lucky that a wounded ego and squashed gonads was all he had to worry about .... If Simon had been there he might well have been visiting a dentist too!!

Kirri