The Boy Inside

Seth grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere. It didn’t help that he found other guys attractive. Seth is a 5’4” tall, 112 lbs. adolescent guy and the leader of the football team. But none of that mattered to him if he couldn’t be true to himself. He hated to hide that he found guys attractive, but he knew what would happen. A kid in the freshmen class the year before came out and that kid was harassed to no end. It got to the point where the boy was singled out in everything he did. At the home coming dance the entire school voted him homecoming queen and laughed at him.

But the fact of the matter is, Seth found his best friend, Will very attractive. He thought about coming out to his best friend on a daily basis but he and his best friend were the main people to harass the other boy that came out and he was afraid of that wrath turned on him. Even his family would disown him or send him to a residential treatment center if he ever told them his little secret. But what is he to do? Deny himself happiness, pretend to be straight and date girls for the happiness of others. That would never fill the void in his soul that told him he was gay.

Seth went about his day in a daze as he was thinking about his predicament. Just as he left his last class of the day, he was startled by Will.

“Seth what’s on your mind?” Will asked.

“What do you mean?” Seth asked Will.

“I mean, you have been abnormally quiet today what’s going on?” said Will as they walked out towards the bus back to Seth’s house.

Seth pondered for a little while, wondering if this was the opening he had been waiting for. The silence dragged on for many minutes, which was long enough for Will to know that something was bothering Seth.

“Look Seth you know you can talk to me about anything? It doesn’t matter what it is, I am here for you.”

“I don’t think you could understand this one Bro. I don’t think anyone would.”

They both walked in silence for a while. When they got on the bus they sat in their normal seat. They didn’t speak of the subject until they got off the bus at his house. When they got off the bus Seth saw that his parents were gone. He headed upstairs to his room as Will followed him.

When they were sitting in Seth’s room, Will decided to approach the subject again. Will didn’t know what was bothering him, but he was damn sure he was going to find out.

“Look Seth, I don’t know what you meant when you said I wouldn’t understand. But I want you to try me. I won’t judge you if that’s what your worried about.” Will stated.

“Will do you remember that boy last year that told everyone that he’s gay?” Seth questioned Will.

Will squirmed uneasily in his chair. “Well, yeah why do you ask?” Will said.

Realizing that this was the moment that he had to tell his best friend he was starting to get nervous. “Well, what would you do if you had a friend come out to you that they were gay?” Seth asked uneasily.

“Well, I might feel uneasy about it, but in the end I would like to think that I was accepting of it, why???” Will sat patiently.

“Would you hate the person to the point you would make his life a living hell?”

“I believe I already answered that Seth. What is this all about anyways?” Will Demanded.

“Well……. I have wanted to tell you this for a while now but I wasn’t sure what you would do……” Seth started.

“Get to the point; trust me I won’t get upset. I am your friend and always will be.”

“Ok, but remember your promise when I am done with this. Will I like guys, I have for a while now and I feel empty because I had to hide it.”

Will sat there uneasily, not knowing how to react to this statement. He did promise not to be upset, but that didn’t mean he knew how to take his best friend telling him that he’s gay. What would he do, this is his best friend of sixteen years. They had been friends since they were born pretty much and Will never expected to have this conversation with him.

“You hate me now, don’t you Will?” Seth asked the question that was hanging in the air.

“No I just never thought I would be having this conversation with you bro.”



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