The Suitcase - 4
By

Pamela

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“How do your ears feel?” Jill asked Greg. She examined the little gold studs with a flower decoration in his ear lobes. She had taken Greg to get pierced ears a week earlier.

“A lot better. They stopped hurting for the most part. I clean them with the saline solution three times a day.”

“Good. They look super on you. In a few months you’ll be able to wear many kinds of beautiful earrings. They’ll be pretty and sexy on you. I’m going to have so much fun buying them for you.”

Greg laughed. “I can’t wait to wear dangly earrings. That’ll be so cool.” It was midweek and Jill had picked Greg up and taken him to eat dinner at a Chinese restaurant.

“I made a hair appointment for you with Bonnie for Saturday morning,” Jill said. “She’ll cut my hair right after yours.”

“But her class starts on Monday, right? Isn’t she going to cover hair styling?”

“Yes, but Bonnie would like the time to get to know you besides getting you a girls’ haircut and styling. You’ll be less self-conscious going into the class. It’s girls only and so far she’s had to trust me that I’ve judged you correctly. She wants to see for herself that you’re a girl. It’s also true that having a girl’s hairdo will show your classmates how serious you are about fitting in with them.”

“I sure hope she realizes that there’s definitely a girl within me that will be developing into Lisa.”

“That’s it. Bonnie doesn’t think that ‘developing into Lisa’ is the right way for you to go – and especially in her class. Rather she wants you to take a great leap into Lisa on Monday and then flail away trying to keep your nose above water. Becoming the girl you want to be cold turkey will actually make the transition easier. You’ll be forced to push aside all your innate boy thoughts, feelings, and actions in order to accommodate the need to be a girl. You’ll blossom into Lisa in a very short time. Dragging out the change in a more gradual and ambiguous fashion will not lead to a better result. You might even never break free of all your boy traits. What do you think? Does this make sense to you?”

“Wow! So she wants me to transform suddenly to Lisa less than a week from now?”

“Yes. Waking up Monday morning and for every other morning in your life you’ll be Lisa. Of course, I’m going to take the same plunge to Blake that very morning. We’ll do it together. Like Thelma and Louise!”

“Into the precipice!”

“Exactly. We sink or swim together. Our fates tied to one another!”

Greg was reeling from the surprise and shock of how monstrously real his change to Lisa would now be. He would, of course, have to do what Bonnie required. She was to play an essential role in getting him to become Lisa. But less than a week and he’d be a girl? In every aspect of his life, he’d have to make the switch. The finality of becoming Lisa scared him. Though he was indeed eager to make the change from an intellectual and emotional perspective, it was the practical reality of becoming Lisa that gave him fears. What if reality smacked Lisa in the face? What if she couldn’t find the courage to tell her parents? Or what if her friends reject her? What if she loses her job? She could become isolated with only Blake as her friend. But what if Blake decided he’d had enough of Lisa? Then Lisa would be all alone in the world. Spurned by her family and everyone else she knew.

“I know what you’re thinking. You’re scared. You want to do it, but you’re afraid that everyone you know will abandon you. Even me. But I’m not going to abandon you.”

“I know that,” Greg said. He tried to keep on top of the emotions surging through him. He wanted more than anything else to be Lisa, but how could he know that he had thought of every possible consequence of his becoming her? Had he forgotten anything? His plan for a slower transition allowed for emergency exits that he would no longer have. It would be all or nothing on Monday morning.

Greg thought about his parent’s pain, but it was not the source of his fear. The same for his brother, sister, and his friends. Then he realized that if he couldn’t figure out how to be Lisa he would be breaking Blake’s heart. He could never live with himself if that happened. He turned his eyes on Jill and let himself feel the great love he had for her. Jill looked at him and smiled and Greg realized that he didn’t have to worry about failing to become Lisa because Blake would hold her up if she fell. Blake’s strength was more than enough to carry Lisa into a feminine life.

As if mind reading Jill said, “Yes, you can count on me. Blake will always be there for his Lisa.”

Greg felt the clouds dissipating. He had gotten through the shock unscathed. If another bout of anxiety ran through him he’d have to remember Blake’s promise. After he regained his composure Greg said, “So I’ll be wearing a dress to Bonnie’s class. I’ll be out and about on the streets wearing a dress and heels and being Lisa.”

“Yes, definitely. Starting Monday you wear what Lisa wears. Select a dress that you would wear to school or college. Nice panties, bra, and it wouldn’t hurt to put on pantyhose. Wear low or mid height heels. Definitely wear your boobs – you’ll be wearing them from now on unless you acquire real ones.” Jill laughed and said, “I’m sorry. Here I am telling a girl what to wear! What do I know about girls’ clothes!”

Now Greg laughed. “You’re right. Monday morning when I wake up I’ll be picking my own outfit to wear. I’ll be deciding when I need to shop for new clothes. If I want a new bra or a new skirt or shoes I’ll shop for them.” He thought a minute and added, “I’m really counting on Bonnie’s course to help guide me in the right direction toward knowing all the information that girls know.”

“And she will. Bonnie will love the challenge of bringing out your most feminine look and in helping you perfect Lisa. A large part of the focus on makeup will be showing the girls how to achieve different beauty looks. She’ll talk to you about choosing tools for make-up and taking good care of them, how to use color theory principles when choosing colors in make-up. Hiding skin imperfections and using different types of foundations. She’ll discuss contouring and highlighting to create the illusion of depth and a more sculpted look.”

“Wow. That’s a lot.”

“Also she’ll show you how to shape and enhance the beauty of eyebrows. There are many eye make-up techniques from natural to more dramatic looks you’ll want to learn about. She’ll teach you about making your lips stand out or be more subtly treated. By the time she’s done you girls will practically be pros on putting on makeup.”

“It seems so exotic to me. I’m being taken into a world I’ve always wanted to be a part of!”

“You’re going to be a star pupil, I’m sure.”

Greg laughed. “What else does she teach in the course?”

“Bonnie varies it a bit according to the needs of the girls. For example, if she sees that some of the girls are wearing uncomfortable bras, she’ll talk to them about how to select a perfect bra. She sometimes teaches how girls can show off their legs with hosiery. There’s a time for stockings and there’s a time for pantyhose. One time the girls were especially interested in foundation garments and the class had a great deal of fun when Bonnie brought them a collection of girdles, panty girdles, corsets, bodysuits, waist cinchers, torsolettes, thigh shapers and on and on. The girls spent a couple of hours trying them on and learning about what they could do for their shape.”

Greg’s imagination ran wild. How delightful it would be to try on different shaping lingerie with girlfriends. “Anything else?”

“There’s lots more possibilities. Bonnie can teach proper dining etiquette and formal tea etiquette. Posture and poise are big with her. Girls often need work on their confidence and charisma, their deportment, and manners. It’s almost like a finishing school. But it does change all the time. Bonnie likes to tailor each class to the girls she has in it.”

Greg wondered what the make up of his class would be. Would the girls be on the gentle side like himself, or would they be tougher, more aggressive girls? Either way he would do his best to fit in and get as much from the class as he could.

***

To say that Greg was nervous on Saturday morning when Jill drove him to Bonnie’s shop was an understatement. He was absolutely petrified to meet the famous Bonnie whom he had heard so much about. Jill introduced him and then left to do errands. He would be on his own.

Greg trembled slightly as he stood in front of Bonnie. She was an older woman. Perhaps old enough to be his mother, but with a beautiful head of hair, and an attractive figure. She scrutinized him carefully. The longer she looked at him the more insecure he felt. Finally she said, “I needed a few moments to convince myself that I see the girl inside you. Happily, I do. I can see that your one of us. You need work, but that is mainly in the form of bringing out what is already there. With the right makeup your face will be pretty. With the right hairstyle you’ll be feminine. No question about it. I can already see that your posture and movements have embraced that of a girl.”

“I can be pretty?” Greg asked.

Bonnie laughed. “That’s the question I most often get from the girls that sign up for my class. You’re going to fit in very well with them. The five of you will be amazed to find that you’re pretty, that you can have some confidence in your femininity and beauty.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I want to be pretty for Jill.”

“And I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve been cutting Jill’s hair for a long time and I have to say that I’m not surprised that she’s dating you. From all I’ve heard her say these many years I had the suspicion that she’d never be happy with Barry. She needs to wear the pants and a guy like that would never concede that territory to her. It would have been endless warfare if they married. You, on the other hand, have the biology that she prefers, together with a compliant and nurturing girl persona that Jill’s masculine side will be attracted to, even love.”

“You think she loves me?” Greg said, surprised.

“Metaphorically, yes. Far be it for me to say what Jill’s actual emotions toward you are. She’s fond of you. She loves spending time with you and she’s happy that you’re going to be witnessing and helping her in her transition to Blake.”

“She’s told you about that ?”

“Of course. Monday you’re enrolling in my class as Lisa and she’s going to show up at the bowling alley as Blake. You can’t imagine the buzz that’ll be sweeping through this part of Chicago by Monday evening.”

“Starting Monday when I go to your class I’ll be a whole new person. I’ve already decided what dress I want to wear. I hope and pray that the other girls like me.”

“First impressions are often important in how girls see each other. That’s why I made it clear to Jill that you should come today and acquire a haircut that will help you feel at home in the class. Dressing nicely will also do you well. Jill said you have D cup breasts. That’ll also be a plus because they announce to the world that your female.” Bonnie smiled again and hesitated and then said, “Keep in mind that your becoming Lisa requires bravery, perseverance, and humor. While it will take some time until you fully unlearn the boy tendencies in you and supplant them with the female, the fastest way to get there is by fully channeling Lisa on Monday. I will be here to help you do that as much as I can.”

“Thank you for saying that Bonnie. I really appreciate your kindness.”

“The least I can do for a sister!. Now we ought to get busy with figuring out your hairstyle. Jill suggested a wavy cut with curtain bangs, or a long brunette shag with subtle highlights. I like both of them too. On the other hand, your hair is thick and we could go with long layers – in other words add layers throughout your long hair – that will create movement in your hair. This style hangs beautifully for wavy or straight hair, forward or back, edgy, or polished, half-up or down. What would you like?”

“I’d like to have it cut the way you think is best.”

“In that case let’s go with long layers. It’s the perfect feminine cut for your face. As time goes on and your hair grows down your back you’ll look more and more beautiful. It’s an exciting hairstyle for you. Jill – I mean Blake – is going to love it.”

***

An hour later Greg’s hair was transformed into what would become Lisa’s preferred hairstyle. It was a sexy look that framed her face in such a way as to unmistakably announce that she was an attractive and fashion-conscious girl. “Oh my God, I love it Bonnie! I hope that Blake loves it too!” Greg gently touched his tresses and allowed himself to feel the joy and relief that came with taking such a major step forward in his life.

“Like I said. As your hair continues to grow, you’ll look ever better. Come back once a month for trimming. We can also discuss highlights and other tweaks to the style that you might find that you desire.”

Greg got up from the chair and watched himself move in the various mirrors. It was a huge step he had taken. He was now unstoppably hurtling toward Monday and becoming Lisa. The first wave of femininity had just landed on his beach to be followed by many more in the days ahead. This was no longer a fantasy that he had had a thousand times in the past. Fantasies that vanished the moment he stopped dreaming. His appearance now was real and there for anyone to see.

Jill walked into the shop. When she saw Greg she exclaimed, “How absolutely darling. I love it. It’s such a sexy cut!” Bonnie came over to join them and Jill said, “What a perfect choice Bonnie. Before I realized that this was Greg, I thought I was seeing a girl customer waiting for her appointment.”

“I’m quite pleased with myself. Like you intuited, the girl in Greg is just underneath the surface. With a little coaxing she reveals herself in her full splendor. By the time the class and I are done with him, you won’t see a trace of Greg. She’ll be all girl and Blake will have himself a hot babe to date!” Bonnie laughed. Greg looked back and forth between Bonnie and Jill as they talked. For the first time he began to have an inkling of what his life will be as a girl. In particular, he could see that girls lived within the natural constraints on their behavior deriving from their being females – the same way that men were constricted by their masculinity. When he became Lisa, Greg would be required to act and speak from within the world view of girls. Decidedly not as Greg, but only as Lisa. By looking like Lisa he would behave like Lisa. The words out of his mouth will be Lisa’s. The emotions he feels will be Lisa’s. If Bonnie is right, as time goes on Lisa will eventually have no recollection of how Greg ever behaved. She will only see herself as a girl acting like a girl. Not a boy acting like a girl.

“While you‘re waiting for Jill’s haircut,” Bonnie said to Greg, “let’s have Marie give you a mani-pedi.”

“Can I? How wonderful!”

Bonnie introduced Greg to Marie and she took him to where she worked in a corner of the shop. “Can I pick the color for my nails?” Greg asked.

“Of course,” Marie said. “Which shade of pink do you want?”

“How did you know that I wanted pink?”

“Really? I saw you when you walked in. Now you have such a pretty girls’ cut. You’re definitely the kind of girl who loves being a girl. That often means pink.”

Greg laughed. “I guess I’m an open book!”

Marie examined Greg’s fingernails. “They’re just beginning to grow out. Your hands will be very pretty with long nails. I’ll do what I can today. Come back in three or four weeks and by then I’ll be able to give you the prettiest long nails.” Marie stopped what she was saying and looked Greg in the eyes. “I hope you understand that with long nails you must be careful not to break them. You have to learn to move your fingers gently and carefully. Over time that will become second nature to you. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me what I told you.”

“I have to be gentle with my hands so I don’t break a nail.”

“Good. In her course, ask Bonnie and the girls to teach you how to move your hands and fingers so as not to break nails.”

“I will. Thank you Marie.”

Marie began working on Greg’s toenails and fingernails. In the distance he heard Bonnie and Jill talking. He looked around the shop at several women having their hair styled. With his hair done, then his nails, and soon his makeup he would look like he fully belonged in this and any other hair emporium frequented by women. When he was Lisa he would be entitled to be anywhere in the world or do anything that was reserved for women and girls. Where femininity ruled and men were not permitted. Where ‘Girls Only’ signs were posted. The other side of the coin was that he would no longer be permitted to enter the realm of men – not that he would want to!! Let Blake have that. It wouldn’t be her concern anymore.

When Marie was done, Greg was overcome with admiration for his pretty fingers and toes. “Oh my God, Marie, they’re so pretty!” He wondered how he had managed to live so many years of his life without pretty fingernails. How could any girl not want to have a lovely shade of polish that went with her hands wherever she went? It was such a powerful statement of femininity and Greg let the delightful knowledge that he now was wearing nail polish titillate his mind. His hands have joined his hair to be unambiguously female. He was half-way to Lisa.

As Greg waited for Jill he formed an image of his mom and sister seeing his fingernails. His little sister always wore nail polish, but he wasn’t so sure that his mom ever did. The moment they saw him they would see his hands, perhaps even before they saw his dress and face. It would be the bright pink that would attract their attention and then their minds would be going through stages of disbelief as it sank in that their son and brother had become a girl. Or would they not believe she was a girl? How long would it take and how much convincing until his family truly believed that Greg was Lisa? He was climbing out on a limb and it wasn’t a question if the limb would break, it surely will. The only question was when it would break.

Jill was done with her haircut and came with Bonnie to find Greg. Where Jill’s face was beautiful, now with a man’s hairdo her face had become handsome. Some of Jill was still there if one looked for it. “I’m astounded,” Greg said. “Jill has gone from beautiful to handsome! How in the world did you do that Bonnie?”

“Bonnie is a genius,” Jill said.

Greg stared at Jill. This was Blake’s face. Lisa will be Blake’s girlfriend and she will come to love and adore this man. Jill’s eyes found Greg’s and she was looking at him with an affection that stirred his heart. Greg hoped that when he had become Lisa, that Blake would find her pretty.

“You’ve done amazing work here today, Bonnie,” Jill said. “Both of us have been more than a little anxious about it because it’s the start of our commitment to becoming Lisa and Blake. I’m feeling very much encouraged and now all we have to do is wait for Monday when we take the final plunge.”

“If it’s any consolation to you, I’m certain that Lisa will thrive in my class. I’m fascinated by the opportunity to not only teach a girl about makeup and our other topics, but also how to be the girl that she knows she is. Hopefully, Lisa’s classmates and I will be able to provide her with a rich source of information about being a girl. No doubt by imitating us, Lisa’s femininization will be accelerated.”

“I know I’m going to love the class and I’m definitely going to do my best!” Greg said.

***

When Jill and Greg returned to her house, she made lattes and they sat side-by-side in chaise lounges in the backyard. “Can you stay the night tonight?” Jill asked.

“Really?” Greg exclaimed. This would be their first night together. “You know I’d love to.” The implications of Jill’s offer passed through Greg’s mind. Chief among them was the realization that if he lay next to Jill even for one night in her bed, then anything less than spending the rest of his life with her would be unbearable. The dike that was holding back his growing love for her was weakening. A night with her would cause a mile-wide breach.

“Good. This is a moment for both of us to savor. We’re on the precipice about to jump and it’s the perfect time for us to take stock of where we’ve been and where we’re going.”

“I love how you think of everything,” Greg said.

“We can start by you telling me how you want to live as Lisa.”

“It might be hard to separate my fantasy about being Lisa from the reality. I mean some things I want might not be realistic.”

“I understand. We can always sort that out later. Knowing what you want even if just in an ideal world is still helpful to know.”

“Sure.” A prickly feeling ran through Greg’s chest. Jill was asking him for an unadulterated view of what was in his heart. Even before answering her he knew that he was going to spill the beans about his feelings for her. The dam was going to burst and he couldn’t stop it. “Well, I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but Lisa doesn’t want to live alone. She wants a man in her life. A very specific man.” Greg laughed crazily. “I’m sorry but I guess there’s no simple way to say it. I want to be with you. I want us to be Lisa and Blake. I want to be the woman in your life …” Greg stopped abruptly. In a husky voice and holding back tears he said, “I guess I have a confession to make and I’m terrified to say it.”

“I want you to tell me, Greg,” Jill said. “Don’t hold back.”

“It’s just that …” Greg paused. His mind was desperately trying to see into the future to know how Jill would react. But he was blind. He decided that he had to go ahead. Turning back would condemn him to uncertainty that he no longer had a stomach for. Finally he said, “I’ve fallen in love with you. I’m in love with you. I love you. I can’t deny it.”

Jill felt Greg’s words enter her ears, race to her mind, and then to her heart. A tsunami of joy rose up inside her chest and she saw with startling clarity how strong her emotions were for this wonderful, strange, beautiful soon-to-be Lisa that had opened the door for her transition to Blake. Jill got up and lay down alongside Greg in his chair. With her face very close to his she wiped away two stray tears that had rolled onto his cheeks. Greg looked at her beautiful face and Jill smiled at him. With her eyes locked on his she said, “I’ve fallen in love with you, too. I’m in love with you, too. I love you. I want you here in my house and bed.”

Tears welled up in Greg’s eyes and rolled onto his cheeks. “Truly?” Greg said in the tiniest of voices.

“Yes, my dear Greg. Truly.”

Greg cried softly for a minute and finally said, “I’m so very happy.”

“So am I. How could it be any other way? What we’re about to do comes from us together. Our attraction for each other – Blake for Lisa and Lisa for Blake – is what is making us become Lisa and Blake.”

They thought about their new-found declarations of love for each other. This was a moment to be savored for all time.

Finally Greg said, “I want to cook for you, even do the mundane house chores. Laundry and cleaning. I want to be desirable for you whenever you’re in the mood. I guess I want to be a traditional – even stereotypical – woman in your house. That’s what I want and will feel most comfortable with.”

“I won’t stop you. I want you to be the woman you want to be. I want you to be the woman in my life. I’m thrilled to be the man in your life and I will do everything I can to provide for you and make you happy.”

They stared at each other thinking about what they had both said. “What we just said sounded a lot like marriage vows,” Jill volunteered.

“I was thinking the same thing. What we want for our life together sounds a lot like marriage,” Greg said.

“So why are we beating around the bush? Blake is going to propose to you, to Lisa, I’m sure of it.”

“He is?” Greg said. “Oh my God! And Lisa is going to say yes! YES!” Greg hugged Jill and they shared an intense kiss. “I so much want to be Lisa Hayley Cappels! I insist on taking your name! May I?”

Jill laughed. “I’m flattered. Of course you may! So we’ll be engaged as soon as we’re Blake and Lisa. We should plan on a long engagement. Perhaps a year. Give ourselves time to find out how the reality of our lives turns out. Time without pressure. We can use the year to work with our families to gain acceptance. If we’re lucky your dad will be able to give you away at our wedding. Wouldn’t that be nice.”

Greg thought of himself walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown, with his arm holding onto his dad. “Oh my God, Jill. I hope and pray that my dad will give me away at my wedding!”

“With luck it might happen.”

“No matter what, I’ll have to pick out a wedding gown!”

“These thoughts are so much fun, but we have to get past Monday for all this to happen.”

“I know.”

“We’re leaping into Blake and Lisa with no safety net beneath us! But I’m sure that if we make it through that day, then it will only get easier and easier!”

“I want our future so badly that I’ll do whatever it takes to be Lisa starting Monday.”

***

That night Greg made tacos. That was one of the few dishes that he felt confident making. Once he had become Lisa she was going to learn how to cook. It would make her very happy if Blake liked her cooking.

Jill complimented Greg on the tacos and they made themselves comfortable in the living room. Jill found a movie for them to watch. From time to time during the movie Jill kissed Greg. “Just practicing,” Jill said and Greg laughed. When the show was over they went to bed. They held each other in the dark. Greg didn’t know what Jill’s expectations were until she said, “Let’s wait until we’re Blake and Lisa before we go any further. I’m not disappointing you, am I? I just think that we’re making memories now that will be with us our whole lives. So our first time we go biblical should be when I’m fully into Blake and you are fully into Lisa. Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course.”

***

Greg spent the better part of Sunday bringing his wardrobe to Jill’s house. Much of his dresses and other clothes were now returning from where they had been just a couple of weeks earlier. Neither Greg or Jill had been able to see into the future to know how fast and how deeply they would make a commitment to each other. What they hadn’t foreseen was the extraordinary gravitational attraction created between them by their decisions to become Lisa and Blake. Two people cannot accomplish such a profound change without becoming hopelessly entwined within each other’s hearts and minds. That was the lesson that Greg and Jill had learned. They would soon be engaged to be married as Lisa and Blake. It was the necessary and logical result of having encouraged each other in the pursuit of their true selves.

End Part 4