Jason's Story - Part 12

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Jason's Story

by Kristine Roland

Chapters 36 - 37. The continuing story of Jason, a young boy that is coming to terms with his transgender nature, and his mostly supportive family.

"Because you aren't Jason anymore. You're this girl I don't know..."

Authors Note: Thanks to Joni W for editing this section for me!

Chapter 36

Julie and Jason walked into the school gym with John, Sue, Kathy and Steve. The gym was decorated with balloons and streamers and a sign that wished the graduating eighth graders luck in high school.

A DJ was up on the stage and there were refreshments along one wall. There were a few couples and a few more girls out on the floor dancing to a fast paced song, but most of the boys were congregated over by the refreshments, and most of the girls were gathered up by the stage.

The three couples went right out on the floor and danced together. After the first couple of songs, they took a break. Jason, John and Steve went up to get drinks for themselves and the girls. Julie went up to the DJ and put a request in for a slow love song and also an older big band tune, the DJ was a bit surprised but agreed to play them soon.

As they cooled off with their sodas, Julie told them to get ready to show off. They had practiced quite regularly and all three couples were now pretty good together.

They were ready and headed straight out to the floor when the DJ played their first selection. They were the only people on the floor, and everyone was watching them very closely. When the second selection came and they got into the swing of the song doing some fancy moves, the crowd got into it and was clapping to the beat of the music.

When the song was over, they walked off to the applause of their classmates.

"Whew that was fun!" Julie said, as they got in line for some drinks. Jason noticed Brad on the opposite wall glaring at him. However, the party was well chaperoned and Brad couldn’t really do anything more than glower. Jason just made sure to stay away from him as much as possible.

Several of the other students came up to them and asked where they had learned to dance like that, and they freely shared that Julie had taught them.

Later that evening, Jason and the three girls had set up a private chat room and were discussing the evening.

"Well I hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did" Jason wrote.

"I know I did!" Sue replied.

"Me too," Kathy added.

"It was great. I just wish you could have been there as Kelly. You were quite handsome, but you’re beautiful in your black dress. The guys would have been quite jealous and you would have been with me." Julie said.

"I would have liked that as well, I'm sorry that you did not get to have your wish. I know how good that feels though, because you were beautiful and the guys were all jealous that you were with me."

"Especially Brad." Kathy said.

"Yeah, did you see him; if looks could kill you would be dead." Sue said.

"I saw him and I stayed as far away from him as I could. I was glad when he decided to leave. I was also glad that Mom was picking us up so we didn’t have to risk walking home." Jason answered.

"Well that's enough about Brad. Kelly, you all ready for next week?" Julie said.

"Yes. How about you?" Jason replied.

"Yup. I can't wait, two whole weeks with my girlfriend Kelly is very cool." Julie said.

"It's going to be fun. I'm looking forward to it."

"Julie told us that you got a really cute one piece suit, Kelly. I wish we could all go together." Sue added.

"I like my new suit. I wish I could get away with wearing a bikini like Julie's, but it will have to do." Jason said.

"You are really going to be Kelly the whole time?" Kathy asked.

"That’s the plan. The lake house is really secluded; we don't typically see a whole lot of people, unless we head into town. We will bring one boy's outfit just in case, but we are not planning on using it." Jason said.

"Damn! Mom is yelling at me. I have to go; it's still a school night." Sue said.

"Me too." Kathy said.

"I'm afraid I do to." Jason said.

They all said goodnight and logged off.

Chapter 37

Julie splashed Jason and dove under the lake water.

"Hey!" Jason said and dove under the water after her. When he caught her, he grabbed around her waist and pulled her to him. They came up for air, and Julie gave him a quick kiss. They climbed out and sat on the edge of the wooden dock. On the other side of the dock, a small motorboat named Kristine was tied to the dock.

"Kelly, this is great! I am so glad you invited me."

"I'm glad you were able to convince your mother to let you come. I wasn't sure she would go for it."

"I don't think she would have, but she trusts your Mom and Dad to make sure we don’t do anything stupid."

"I'm sure she trusts you too." Jason said.

"Well probably, but I'll admit it, if it were not for your parents, I might do something we might regret."

"I hear you. Well, we should be good about that, but it doesn't mean we have to be perfect angels."

"My word Kelly, I do believe you just might be trying to seduce me." Julie winked.

"Who me? I'm a good girl, really I am." Jason laughed.

"You most certainly are. You look good in that suit."

"Thanks, but nothing compared to you."

"Don't sell yourself short, you look good. I doubt anyone would be able to tell that there is more to you than meets the eye." Julie said seriously, then added, "That trick that Michele taught you really helps to hide your, you know what."

Jason blushed, and to change the subject said, "So you want to stay out here and swim some more, or something else?"

"Well, I'd like to get a bit of sun, but you really shouldn’t tan. However with that 50 SPF, it would take quite a bit for you to tan, but you still need to take care because you will still tan, even with sun block, especially if you spend too much time in the sun."

"No problem, I'm putting my wrap on."

Julie laid out her towel on the dock in the sun, and put on her sunglasses, lying on her back. Jason sat in a lounge chair under a deck umbrella and opened up a book.

A bit later, Jason's Mom and Dad came down with a pitcher of lemonade and some cookies.

"Hey, how is it going down here?" Jason's mother asked.

Julie sat up and took off her sunglasses. "Great. This place is wonderful, thank you so much for inviting me to come with you."

"It's our pleasure my dear." Jason's father answered, than he asked, "How is the water?"

"Nice, Dad. Maybe a little cool, but once you are in its refreshing." Jason said.

Jason's dad, acknowledged it, took off his shirt, and jumped into the lake. When he came to the surface, he said, "Phew… you call that a little cool?" He then swam out to a buoy about 20 yards out in the lake and then back. He climbed back onto the dock and sat in another chair near Jason.

"So what do you two want to do the next couple of weeks?" Richard asked them after a while. "Julie, have you ever water skied?"

"No, I haven’t." She answered.

"Not today, it is a bit late, but maybe tomorrow we’ll go out on the lake. It's fun if you want to give it a try."

"Sure, I'd like to give it a try." Julie answered.

"Kelly, are you still going to go fishing with me or are you going to give up on fishing." Jason's father asked him.

"Dad, you know I love to go fishing with you, why would you think I wouldn't want to?" Jason asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"I don't want to make any assumptions, Kelly. Jason liked to fish, but I’m still getting to know my daughter Kelly. Besides, you have a guest."

Jason frowned, "Dad, I'm still me. I like the same things I always liked and that isn't going to change. As for Julie, I don't know if she likes to fish, but if she wants she is welcome to come with us, if she doesn't, I'm sure she can find something else to do or more likely she can enjoy sleeping in."

"Kelly, I'm just checking." Jason's father said.

"Dad, you never asked that when John or Steve were here with us. You and I have gone fishing in the mornings ever since I was old enough to hold a fishing rod when we were here at the lake. You know I have always looked forward to it. John and Steve were welcome if they wanted, or not if they didn't. Why do you all of a sudden feel that would change?" Jason said.

"Because you aren't Jason anymore. You're this girl I don't know. I just don't know how to respond to all of this, I'm sorry. You know I'm trying to be supportive, damn it, but it's too much too fast sometimes. You and your mother agreed that this whole trip you would be Kelly, I haven't tried to fight that, but forgive me if I have trouble knowing how to react to it. I'm doing the best that I can, so just don't take it the wrong way."

"How would you like me to take it Dad? Because I'm a girl I shouldn't like to fish? Are you worried that I'm going to be squeamish about worms all of a sudden? This is who I am Dad, I've always been Kelly, you and Mom just didn’t know it."

"Kelly! … Damn, I'm sorry, look I did not mean it that way. I know that many girls like to fish, your Aunt Sally for instance even Jessica enjoyed it when she was younger. But you are changing Kelly, you have interests that you didn’t have before and that may mean that you’ll lose interest in the older things. Look at you, standing there! All I see now is a pretty girl, I know that Jason is still there somewhere, but you look so different the way you are dressed, it is hard."

Jason took a deep breath, while his mother and Julie looked on.

"Dad, I'm still me. This is who I am. I have never felt so … I don't even know how to describe it … at peace, I guess, with who I am in my whole life. I can’t help it, that's how I feel. If I could throw a penny in the well, make a wish and have it come true, I would wake up tomorrow with real breasts and a vagina and I would’ve always been Kelly. I know that is not going to happen. In fact, what is going to happen is my body is going to start to change even more, this damned body hair that is still mostly light, is going to get darker and thicker, especially on my face. My voice is going to finish changing and my Adam's apple is going to become pronounced. I still look ok today without too much help, but not much longer and I hate it, Dad, I just hate it. My goddamned body is betraying me. I don't want to grow up to be a man! I'm sorry that hurts you. I see it in your eyes whenever you are looking at me and you think I'm not watching, you don't know how much it hurts to know how much I've disappointed you. … Damn."

With that Jason broke down and started to cry and then ran into the house to his room. Julie was the first to react and ran into the house after him.

His father started in as well, but Jason's mother stopped him. "Richard, this is not going to go away."

"I know Kris. I have known that for weeks. I was not trying to attack him. Really I wasn't. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm doing the best I can."

Kristine sighed, and said. "I know you are. I don't know what to do either. I didn’t realize how much he was worrying about the changes his body is going through. I know I was hoping that he would grow out of it as he went through puberty, but I really don't believe that is going to happen. And if that is the case, he’s right; his body is about to make things much harder for him. If things go the way I really think they’re going to go, the changes he’s going through are going to make that so much more difficult. There just isn't much time left before that happens and it is too soon to make any decision like this. He needs more time, but his body isn't going to give it to him."

"No, it isn't."

"Unless we do something to give him more time." Kristine said.

"What do you mean?" Richard asked.

"I've been doing a lot of reading, as you know. There is a relatively new treatment option. There are some medicines that can delay puberty. The process is reversible, but it is still controversial. It would buy him time."

"That seems pretty drastic. Is it safe?"

"Cutting his penis off is drastic, but ultimately that may be what happens. This is far less drastic and is at least reversible. From what I have read it appears to be safe. I don't even know if we could get his doctors to approve it, but I think we have to talk to them about it and soon."

Jason's father looked resigned and nodded his agreement. "We better go in and talk to him."

"Richard."

"Yes?"

"We better go in and talk to her." Kristine said.

"I'm sorry; yes you’re right, we better go in and talk to her." He replied.

They walked into the house and knocked on Jason's door. They could hear him still crying and Julie trying to comfort him. After a moment, they heard Jason say, "Come in."

They opened the door and saw Jason lying on the bed, with his head on Julie's lap. Julie was holding him and caressing his hair and back making soothing sounds. She looked at his parents, particularly his father with barely restrained anger, daring them to make things worse.

Jason's father's face showed remorse and Julie's expression softened.

"Kelly, I'm sorry that you felt attacked; I really did not mean it that way. I know that this is not easy for you either. Your mother and I really need to talk to you about what you just told us, but before we do, I have to tell you again, you are not hurting me, or your mother. We love you and while we don't always understand, that is not going to change. Whatever path you chose, that is not going to change. I can't tell you that I won't miss Jason, but I will love Kelly just as much." Jason's father said.

His mother and father sat next to them on the bed, and started to rub Jason's back.

Jason sobbed for a few more minutes, finally got himself under control and sat up.

"I'm sorry for losing it." He told them.

"No, Kelly, I'm sorry." His father said.

"Kelly. You are worried about the changes your body is going through?" His mother asked.

"It's more like disgusted, than worried. I know what is happening and why, I just don't like it."

"I've been doing some reading and there may be something we can do to postpone those changes, while we figure out what is right for you." His mother said.

At that Jason and Julie both looked at her with surprise. "Postpone, what do you mean? How?" Jason asked.

"There are drugs that can put puberty on hold so to speak. They are reversible, so if you decided you wanted to continue becoming a man you could stop taking them and let nature take its course. But if you ultimately decide to have surgery, then you would start taking female hormones to go through puberty as a girl." His mother explained.

"Really, they can do that?"

"Yes, from what I have read it is possible. You would still be genetically male, but you would at least avoid having to go through the electrolysis, and your voice will not deepen any further. Also the body fat distribution would be more feminine."

"What do we have to do? Would you allow it?" Jason asked.

"I don't know; we have to speak with your doctors. If they agree and it is medically safe, then yes, your father and I have already agreed that we would allow it." Kristine looked at Richard, who nodded his agreement.

With that Jason reached out and hugged his parents, then turning to Julie, invited her into the group hug.

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Comments

Good Chapter

Still enjoying the story and looking forward to seeing how it proceeds. Hope the medics will go along.

Glad Kelly apologized -- it didn't seem to me that her escalation of the situation was justified, though I suppose from a story standpoint SOMETHING had to get her annoyed enough to discuss her puberty issues.

Eric

Eric, Thanks for the feedback.

KristineRead's picture

Eric,

I am glad that you are still enjoying Jason's story.

LOL, the first draft of the argument was even weaker, so I have to thank Joni for pointing it out, because if this version still seems forced, you would have really thought so before. Thanks Joni!

Since even with Joni's wonderful help and advice, I still did not quite hit the mark, let me just add an Author's Comment here on what I was thinking as I wrote the scene.

We are seeing Jason's self esteem issues coming out, certainly not helped by his feelings about the changes his body is going through. We have seen his insecurities before, in the early chapter on the way to his cousin's birthday party, worrying about going to hell. The night after introducing Aunt Sally and Emily to Kelly and having seen the look in his father's eye's, looking for reassurance from his mother that both she and his father were ok. He knows his father is struggling with it and Jason feels really guilty about it. We know that Jason is hard on himself, as it was his feelings of guilt that led him to talk to his mother in the first place.

Thanks again for the constructive comments, I really appreciate them.

Hugs,

Kristy

Puberty

Actually, I found Kelly's reactions to be very realistic. Boys have hormone reactions during puberty also, it just doesn't show as much since boys are taught not to show their feelings. Kelly, walking a thin line between herself and Jason, is going to be even more susceptible to her emotions. In addition, she is still very dependent on her parents' approval. Not only has her father pretty much made it known that he is unhappy with what is happening, even her mother has shown that she has problems with Kelly. In the first few chapters, her mom had been supportive but at the same time she was trying to rein back on what was happening. In the last few chapters she has gotten better, but don't forget she was hoping that Jason's male puberty would put a stop to things.

What Kelly's mom has failed to realize is that would ruin Kelly's life and could possibly drive Jason to suicide. Would Julie dump a male-only Jason? IMHO, yes. And in addition to that, would Jason be depressed at losing her outlet as Kelly? How depressed does Jason have to get before deciding to chuck it all as a life not worth living? Again, IMHO, it would put Jason a long way down that road. And if he was to find out that her parents knew about a possible solution and withheld that information that would be the final betrayal. After that, IMHO, it would only be a question of time before Jason decides suicide is the only option left. As I have read and been taught, a person doesn't see suicide as a possible option, they see it as the only option.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

its great that option does exist now

and even better that his/her parents are aware of it and considering it.
I really look forward to reading where that story will go.

Thanks and big hugs

Holly

Friendship is like glass,
once broken it can be mented,
but there will always be a crack.

The Dance

I wonder which of the three would have won if there was a contest? Very sweet chapters.
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine