The New Life of Jamie Sarah Potter (6)

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Sunday dawned cool and clear. An early frost covered the ground and brass bells of St. Mary’s Episcopal Church bellowed all through the town. Soon there voices were joined by All Saint’s Catholic church. Fr. Brown had insisted the service for that day be in the ‘High Church’ style. Cradle Episcopalians would know this style by the colorful nickname of ‘Smells and Bells’.

The church was filled to the rafters with people, Gray clouds of incense floated above the heads of the faithful. The echo of the prayers being chanted from the alter gave me chills. Father had preached a sermon on love, respect, and acceptance that morning. From the pulpit, he had called for the whole parish community to embrace each other as Christ had them. Finally, it had come time for him to address the crowd.

As he stepped down from the pulpit he took a deep breath and said.

“In his letter to the early Christian communities in Galatia. Paul the Apostle says, For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed and heirs according to the promise.” He paused and took a deep breath.

“Dear brothers and sisters in a few minutes we will welcome a young woman into the family of God. Before we do, I would like to call your attention to what Paul wrote to the early church in Galatia. In this world, it seems where always being divided and shorted into groups. And how often we cling to our one group and look at those that do not belong with devil eyes. The apostle Paul in this is calling for us, all those who have been clothed in the waters of baptismal to rise above that and love each other and respect each other. Because we are all one in Christ Jesus.”

I took a deep breath as I stood there in the back, listing to Fr. Brown give his little speech. His warm words of encouragement caused my cheeks to flush with color. And I had good reason to blush, mom and gone all out in dressing me for this event. She had selected a white gown, one that looked like it belonged on a bride or a bridesmaid instead of a twerp like me. The gown was long and formal and had puffy sleeves.

Also, white gloves and a bundle of lilies had been given to me to hold. In the front pew, sat, Lily, Mom and Dad and Aunt Molly, who had just moved back to Benton after being gone for twenty or so years. Along with Aunt Molly, there was uncle Frank and Aunt Cat who farmed and raised cattle out in the Westwood district. And sitting beside them was there two children. And of course grandmother and grandfather. So you pretty much had the whole Potter Clan sitting in the front pew.

Mom wore her best dress. A really pretty floral print gown. Lily wore a nice looking button-down blouse and a flowing skirt, Dad wore his best woolen suit. And Aunt Molly who had moved in with us wore a pink and white Japanese kimono. According to my dad, his younger sister, Molly was always into the Japanese stuff. In high school, she had taken Art Classes to improve her skills. During her Junior and Senior year, she started to take summer classes at a local Junior College.

Taking those classes seemed to have paid off, as she finished her AA Degree in a year and a half of hard studying. With her AA in hand, she moved out west to work in Radio Broadcasting. Off all the Potter’s she was the most supportive of me coming out as Transgender. I still don’t know how that came about. But the minute people started to call me Jamie instead of James, a mental switch was flipped. And a tiny little light went off in my head. And once that switch had been thrown, there was no way to turn it off.

And believe me, I had tried my best to turn that switch off. But now, standing at the back of the church, dressed in a white gown, I knew there was little I could do to flip the switch if you will. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt like a bride going to forth to meet her husband.

“Hey, Jamie.” A voice called out. I turned around and there in the doorway stood Ben. I took a deep breath and peered toward him. He had shaved, we’ll not that he really need to shave, but last time I saw him, he had a little peach fuzz growing on his chin. The fact he had shaved it off had been cute.

“Hey, Ben,” I said taking a deep breath. I moved in to give him a hug and when I did I caught sight of Joan who was standing behind him. She wore a simple, plain black dress. Her eyes were focused on me and slowly a little smirk formed on her lips.

“Hey there Jamie, you look cute. Man almost like a bride on her big day.” She said smiling as she looked me up and down, she finally nodded her head in approval. “Such a pretty little gown too, love the gloves and the lilies too. So girl how are you feeling?”

“A little scared to be honest,” I said blushing as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

“Nothing to scared of girl. Heck, you’ve been through so much already. First, you agreed to be our school’s hostage in that whole exchange, then you stood up to that big winded fellow, then you stood up to the old balding fellow. This is nothing but a walk in the park.” She said smiling, she then reached over and gave my shoulder a playful little punch.

“Come on, you got this. Just take a deep breath, nod your head and the Father will pour a little water on your head. And boom its all good. Over and done, open and shut.” She said grinning. Joan had become, something of that rough big sister. She lacked the grace and charm of Lily, who displayed all the skills of a classic ‘Southern Belle’ if you will. No, Joan was a down to earth country girl who called things as she saw them.

“You look kind of cute in your dress too,” Ben said taking a deep breath. “Almost like a bride.” He said joking a little.

I felt my cheeks flush again. When Joan said it the first time, it was almost like she was teasing me. When Ben said it, it was more like a foreshadowing of things to come. I took a deep and moved in close.

“Yes, but I want to get married in a proper Episcopal cathedral. And not some small parish out in the sticks.” I said figuring I could tease him a little, I was allowed that? It was after all my big day. I had earned that much? Of course, I had. I’ve been seven rings of hell these last few weeks.

Ben blinked and blinked again as he titled his head to the side. I could tell he was lost so I kept going.

“Yes, I want a big wedding, like a really big wedding, in a proper Episcopal cathedral. Like the one in downtown Jackson. Then I want my honeymoon to take place in Disney World and to have chocolate chip waffles each morning for breakfast along with fresh squeezed orange juice.” I was standing so close to him, that I could smell the lingering effects of his mint flavored mouth wash. I closed my eyes and then leaned in and before I could catch myself I found myself planting a kiss upon his lips.

We kissed for a good minute, then I forced myself to part from him. I looked down and felt my cheeks bloom with color. Thankfully, most of the people in the crowd had their attention firmly focused on what Father was saying and our display of public affection had gone unnoticed.

“Now, I would like to call Jamie Sarah Potter down to receive the Sacrament of Holy Baptism.” Fr. Brown called out as he lifted his eyes and focused them solely on me.

I took a deep breath and peered toward Ben. He only smiled, his smile was worth a thousand and one words. Releasing my breath, I straighten my back and started to walk down the aisle toward the altar.

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Comments

Looks like she is getting the full treatment

Wendy Jean's picture

I was baptized in a Baptist Church the water tank was big enough to swim in or so it seemed at the time. I was leaving Big puddles everywhere.

In spite of all the horror stories

laika's picture

In spite of all the horror stories I've heard from ex-Catholics who said how screwed up it made them, I kind of miss that I wasn't raised Catholic (like everybody in my family). I've always felt a historical and almost genetic kinship with the church of Rome, since it goes back for generations in my family, and since I have been friends with a surprising (to me) number of priests and nuns; got along great with 'em; and have always rankled at Protestants who accuse us of apostasy and of not being "real" christians for a bunch of nit-picky reasons that just sound like bigotry to me (the people who yell about "papist" usually move on to "Jewwwws" in the next sentence, and don't seem very Christian in spirit, in my book! {You've touched on this American anti-catholic sentiment in your stories, but subtly...})

And though it has a different name, Jamie's Episcopal church sounds comfortably familiar; And I can feel what her being baptized means to her. The validation of it, that her co-religionist see her as a Sister in Christ instead of being hung up on her having been born a boy and why she's going to Hell for that, blah blah blah...

So I'm excited about this... Go Jaimie!
~hugs, Ronni

I was raised in the Episcopal church

Sadly it was not as progressive as it is now. I remember the uproar allowing women to become priests started. We had a gay couple at our church but I didn't really understand it. I didn't have any support and my parents were not the type that would have understood. Heck when I was kicked out if the navy for being caught having homosexual relations I told my parents I was bi and all my dad could say was meet you a nice Mexican girl to cook and clean for you. When I did meet my soulmate a Mexican man my daddy had the audacity to say well you got it half right. At age 38 I'm still learning about myself but at least I know I'm more than just a crossdresser.

EllieJo Jayne

Blind love

Jamie Lee's picture

It's always amazing how some who profess a belief in Christ will blowup when they're faced with something that actually challenges that belief.

Even though that preacher quoted a passage that pertained to Jamie being the one needing acceptance, there is every possibility of there being some in the congregation who will get up and leave in disgust. If that happens then it shows they only accept some of what the Bible says, that which goes along with what they think is right.

That surprise kiss Jamie gave Ben sure put a wrinkle in Ben's suit.

Others have feelings too.