This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred, NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs

In March Clive was due in court he pleaded guilty saving Shoni the stress of testifying. We were very relieved that Shonali didn’t have to go through the ordeal of testifying.
As this was his first offence and he got a suspended 2 year sentence and had to go on an anger management course.
We three discussed this and as Shoni was happy that justice had been done we left it at that.

The months passed and all too soon it was time for the exams even though we thought we had done enough work we were still panicking.
Stress levels were really building as we sat our exams all three of us were a bag of nerves; it has to said that the people we worked for were really wonderfully understanding.
Finally it was all over and all we could do was wait for the results all of us thought that we had done ok.

The summer we spent working saving our money. Gill came to see me every month and it was great having him in my bed also the girls had stopped giving me a hard time.

I went for my hair trimming once a month usually on a Saturday Paula was now a really good friend and she always cut my hair.
One Saturday she looked at me through the mirror as she was trimming my hair and asked, “Well Susie how are you enjoying your new life?”

I didn’t even have to think straight away I answered, “I absolutely love being a girl I just wish I could take the final step” I was quite sad as I said it and Paula must have sensed it because she sat back and looked shrewdly at me telling me, “The first time I did your hair – remember” I nodded smiling at the memory she then carried on, “When I met you I thought that with time you would make an attractive girl – but now looking at you I realise I was totally wrong!”
She must have seen the look of worry cross my face because hurriedly she continued, “I now see I was wrong because you have turned out to be a stunningly attractive girl - damn it I’m envious of you and so I imagine are half the girls in Manchester.”

I smiled my thanks and tried to tell her how much I appreciated her telling me but she bulldozed me saying, “Look Susie so you’ve not transitioned yet that’s not the end of the world is it? You are working on it so go with the flow girl; go with the flow when the time’s right you’ll know enjoy yourself just enjoy yourself before you get old like me!”

That made me burst out laughing, as she was only 25 - five years older than I was.

Getting ready for our year away wow this was a logistics nightmare as we soon realised what with visas, immunisations, flight tickets, and even the simple things like what to take with us.
Luckily there is lots of good information out there on the Internet

So I won’t bore you with all the details of what we were taking with us suffice to say we originally had everything including the kitchen sink once we read all the advice we cut this down drastically.

Towels! Something so simple you would think would be oh so easy but what a pain in the butt!
Everyday towels when wet they are heavy and take an age to dry and even when dry they take up a load of space.
Then we found out about ‘Pack towels Personal” these were lightweight modern material which packed away to nothing and dried very quickly - perfect.

Clothes! We decided on a couple of T’s, a couple of shirts, lightweight trousers and shorts plus some wrap around skirts that didn’t crease too easily for ‘best’.
All the clothing we had for on the road was called ‘technical clothes’ where you add or remove layers as the weather changes. The fabric is lightweight and packs small with enough layers keeps the cold out but also wicks out moisture from the body. It’s easy to wash and dries quickly
Now knickers! What a bone of contention these were as us girls tend to go through two or three pairs a day. In the end because they are small and can fill the little nooks and crannies in out backpack we decided on at least a twenty pairs each.
Another ‘problem’ was what to do at ‘that time of the month’ for me this was simple but for the girls this was a problem even though you can get sanitary items everywhere they didn’t feel ‘comfortable’ with this especially in some of the more remote places we could be visiting.
Then they found out about ‘Mooncups’ which are reusable, (if you want more information about them then see the website!) and the cows bought me one so as I wouldn’t feel left out! There are times I hate those two.

Both girls got contraception implants not that we were planning on being too sexually active but three attractive girls alone may get unnecessary attention!
I on the other hand got my hormone implant so I wouldn’t need my tablets.

We all put our money in one account and each had a debit card for cash on the move (ATM’s) a reserve fund of $100 each this was hidden away with only a few of dollars in our purse.

Anyhow that is enough of our preparations for our adventures by September we were all geared up, we had to decide who was carrying what so one of us had the tent (1.8kg or 4lbs), one had the ipad and hair-drier while the third had the stove set.
Hair drier you may think this is weird but we all agreed we simply couldn’t live without AND SHORT HAIR WAS NOT AN OPTION! Plus while working at the salon Paula had been teaching Kelly the right way to trim our hair.

When we finished packing there was still space in the backpacks and really once we had them on they were not too heavy.

Now we were ready for our big adventure! Apart from one small item our graduation! We all passed our degrees Kelly and I with a first, Shonali with honours.

New dresses were called for which was a perfect excuse for us to go on some retail therapy.
Off we went shopping and to hell with the saving this was our special day one we had worked so very hard for!
After a hard days shopping we had everything we needed new dresses, shoes and handbag, underwear and sheer stockings! Everything a girl needs.

The day of the graduation the three of us stood in front of the large mirror inspecting ourselves - I know I’m bias but we looked stunning!
My dress was a knee length body shaping cotton sateen dress white background with a china blue floral print pattern it was fully lined and had a back zip the material had some stretch so it was comfortable to wear.
It had a round neckline with tiny cap sleeves I wore nude tights and navy blue crossover espadrille’s with a filled in back and a crossover strap in blue suede and blue patent they were peep toe style my handbag was a navy blue lizard print with silver fittings and a silver chain.

Kelly looked absolutely stunning her blond hair falling in gentle waves her dress was a simple lace shift dress with square neckline and short cap sleeves. The lace exterior was a gorgeous cream colour with a champagne lining; it closed with a back zip and at the knee the lace was scalloped.
She also wore nude tights her shoes were a patent nude colour platform court matched with a nude patent clutch bag, similar to mine.

Finally Shonali! Where both of our dresses were fitted pencil styles. Shoni’s was totally different she wore a sleeveless georgette dress mainly pink with soft pastel floral prints the bodice was fitted with a really flattering waist panel the skirt was full and softly pleated so it floated around her knees.
She also wore nude tights and her shoes were a wedge sandal with a blush patent mock croc toe strap and crossover blush leather ankle strap the heel was covered in blush pink suede.
Her handbag was similar to mine but in blush pink (Ok, we all liked the same hand bags so bought one to match our dresses).

We put on our hired university gowns and mortarboard’s and looked in the mirror.
I thought of my family that were not here to see this day – and I completely broke down!
Of course my two best friends were instantly there to comfort me asking what on earth was the matter when I told them they simply hugged me slowly calming me own telling me that my family would be watching also my families by adoption would be there to love and support me and of course my two friends would be there for me.

Eventually I calmed down and the two of them repaired the damage I had done to my makeup but they couldn’t hide my red eyes. Once they were happy with my looks we left for the graduation ceremony
The families came to see our graduation I was so proud and so sad that my family were not there to see their daughter (for that’s how I and the world see me now) receive her degree.

But my adopted families were there to support me, as was Gill. After we had finished the ceremony that included the ritual throwing our mortarboards in the air photo.
We each had individual photo’s taken Kell and Shoni with their families I stood back for this but Kelly mum approached me and said, “Come on Susanna time for you” I protested but they all insisted so I was pictured with Kelly and Shonali’s mums either side of me.
I was so touched. Finally it was the turn of the three of us Kelly, Shonali and Susanna.
I look at the picture today and see three happy smiling very attractive girls in gown and mortarboard hats stare back at me – how I bless the day I met these two wonderful girls!

We went for a celebratory meal at a wonderful restaurant called the Australasia, which is under the Armani Shop in Spinningfields on Deansgate.
For a top class restaurant it was so informal and the lunch menu was very reasonably priced we had a great time. There were several more ‘graduation’ parties there so we knew a quite a few people.
Kell and Shoni each got a locket from their family, and much to my surprise Gill gave me one the same as the girls.
I nearly cried again but held it together all in all the day had been an emotional rollercoaster.

I asked Gill if he was staying the night he told me, “Only if you want me to” I looked at him adoringly and whispered, “I want you to.”
Kelly looked at Shoni and in a stage whisper said, “We’re being upstaged by our little girl! Looks like we’re going to have to get bloke’s of our own” I stuck my tongue out at her and kept quite.
However in the toilet I anxiously asked them, “If you guy’s mind me taking Gill home please say I’d hate to hurt you two!”

“Susanna, Susanna” Shoni answered, “We’re only pulling your leg both of us are honestly really pleased that you and Gill are an item. In fact I couldn’t think of anyone better as a sister in law than you!”
“Shoni” I gasped, “We’re only good friends I’m too young to settle down.” She slipped her arm around my shoulders and seriously said to me, “I think Gill realises this - but young lady it’s only a matter of time before it get’s serious – and I mean really serious.”

We had just about everything planned for our journey except what we all thought would be the easiest leg namely Route 66. The bus timetables and services didn’t take us anywhere close to where we wanted to go we were not comfortable about hitch hiking and an escorted tour bus was very expensive.
We were in a bit of a quandary when Gill came up with a suggestion - which was a stroke of genius.

“Look you three” he said the night of our graduation, “I’ve got a way to get you across America!”
This caught our attention big time Shoni asked, “How?” “Well” he said, “I’ve a good friend in Chicago Keith; and I have asked him to look out for a reliable car reasonably cheap that could do Route 66 he’s found a Jeep Grand Cherokee 2005 reasonable mileage and reliable for $6000.”
I burst in; “We can’t afford that!” He just looked and answered, “I know dummy will you listen. What I’m proposing is that I buy it for you!”
Pandemonium broke out as we protested that he couldn’t do this we wouldn’t let him. The bugger simply sat there looking smug letting us splutter ourselves into silence.

With a grin on his face he carried on, “Have you three quite finished?” when no answer came he continued, “Good! Now as I was going to say before you three set off cackling was Keith will meet you at the airport then you stay with him and his wife for a day or so then drive across America and when you get to Los Angeles Uncle Ray will sell the car and I’ll get some money back!
No argument from you three the car’s been bought and Keith is getting it checked out so it’ll get you to LA!”

We three just looked at each other then as one leapt onto him and smothered him with hugs and kisses! “Oh” he said “Once you get your international driving licence we’ll scan them and send them to Chicago so you can get insured.”
So we squealed again and jumped back onto him thanking him I was going to give him a very special night tonight - I didn’t know how but I’d try my best.

That night when we went to bed, I snuggled up to him nibbling and kissing him, wanting to make the night very special for him, but not having the knowledge of how to do this!

Frantically I tried to think when - well before Susanna, I wondered if he would like me to well ----------- use my mouth!
I had no idea how to go about this or even how to initiate it but needless to say I managed.
And as he called my name in the ecstasy of his climax I knew I had made the right decision and it wasn’t too bad in fact it was reasonable!

We also made love in the normal way and I like to think that I gave my man (for that’s how I thought of Gill) a wonderful time - not only for his idea about the car but because I wanted to!
We fell asleep with me safely in his arms before sleeping I had cleaned myself so I was sweet and fresh for him.
As I drifted off to sleep I just lay there smelling him; listening to him breathe and looking at him in the dim light wondering if this is really true love it certainly felt that way.

The next morning I woke up still in his arms I was experiencing the most wonderful sensations through my nipples told me that Gill was awake so we made love again finally getting up well after the other two.

I was first through to the kitchen; leaving Gill to shower. Kelly grinned at me and greeted me with “hello moaner!”
I flushed scarlet clapping my hand to my mouth I managed to squeak, “Oh no I tried honestly I did try not to make any noise” then Shoni joined in telling me “And you’re also a whimperer!”
I just wished the ground would open up and swallow me I was that embarrassed but I knew that they didn’t really mean any nastiness to me they were just kidding me.

Shonali then went onto tell me that she had ordered a guide for Route 66 from Amazon, supposedly the best called, ‘EZ66 Guide for Travellers’.
Gill then came into the room and mercifully they left him alone, - well it was me that made the noises during sex!

I took Gill to the station and sadly kissed him goodbye he stroked my hair and said to me, “Susanna, I am not going to put any pressure on you as I know you are way too young to make a commitment but I am going to marry you so I thought I’d tell you now! Until then enjoy your adventure I’ll be there for you!”
Then he turned and went through the barriers leaving me standing there dumbstruck.

We carried on with our preparations the guide came and we decided to keep as close as we could to the original route of the road (If we had realised what dirt tracks and unpaved roads were - we may have made a different decision - but that’s later).
But we decided that we’d camp where possible close to the road then spread out from there to see the sights

Three weeks before we left for our trips we gave notice at our jobs. Kelly was really sad to leave Paula and promised to keep in touch by Facebook.
Even grumpy Bill was sad to loose us – once you knew him he was really nice, not at all grumpy, it was all a front!
My final appointment with Jill (my councillor) was very sad I knew I would need her when I got home. I promised to keep in touch (social media is great for that).

She also gave me a letter stating that I was a pre-operative transsexual this was in case I had any problems at passport control’s as my passport still had my sex as male (that horrible ‘M’ tick).
Looking at my passport the photo and the name were the new me so the three of us discussed how I was going to travel,
As it said I was a male I decided it was better if I flew without my prosthetic vagina. My boobs I couldn’t do a thing about and I wasn’t willing to hide them I was proud of them!
So I would wear a sports bra, tie my hair back, minimal makeup (a bit of lip gloss) as we were all travelling in trousers so as long as I looked androgynous it should be ok.
Oh and I had extra ID (just in case)

We all had our international driving licences and copies of these had been sent to Keith who arranged insurance for us. He sent us pictures of the car it was a Tan colour with grey interior and looked in good condition he told us that it’s been fully serviced and the mechanic reckoned that it should easily do the trip.

Now we really were ready! We had transport across the USA we would camp where we could and if we had to sleep in a motel we were used to sleeping together.
If we could eat cheaply our budget would be intact! And in addition we could stay at Shoni’s Aunt and Uncle when we arrived in LA (Shonali never knew they existed)!

The week before we left and we deep cleaned the apartment double-checked and treble-checked we had everything we would need in out backpacks.
Making sure everything was turned off at the flat we locked the door for the last time and headed for Leeds.
This time I was staying with Gill as he now had a flat I had to talk to him about his comment at the station as he refused to answer my questions over the phone.

We went to the girls houses first Gill was picking me up from there when he was working I would spend my time with my ‘adopted’ families it was really good to see them all again.
I spent a lot of my time playing with Kelly’s two little nieces again I was told that I would make a wonderful mum.

Shonali’s mum had been in touch with her brother in Los Angles, and if we wanted to send our warmer clothes back home we could do it from there. This is because Illinois in October can be a bit chilly in the mid 50’s F so we decided to take a couple of jumpers with us and some warmer clothes – just in case and we had the room in our packs.

Gill came to pick me up and we had our supper at Shoni’s then he drove me home.
How did I feel? Cosy I think is the word I was thrilled to be living with him even for such a short time. We got to his flat made coffee and settled down on the sofa to watch TV.

I sat with my feet under me like any other girl his arms were around me and I snuggled into him.
As we sat there he gently kissed me stroking my thick Chestnut hair finally I asked him, “At the station, what did you mean Gill?”

He stirred squeezed my shoulder and told me, “Susanna I really feel something for you. You could call it love,” my heart did a summersault hearing this then he continued, “But I am very well aware that you are a young girl who needs to see life before settling down – especially you who are a young new girl a very special girl too.”
I snuggled deeper into his embrace feeling wonderful. He kissed me on the end of my nose smiling gently at me.

“What I am or was trying to say is that I think we should see where our relationship goes. I know that I want to marry you but I’m not pushing you at all in fact I think we should have a long courtship so you can live - and yes love others as the girl you are – does that make sense to you?

I snuggled into him digesting this it took a while before I answered marshalling my thoughts.
Finally I responded to him, “No I don’t understand what you’ve just said. You say you love me but you want us to wait before we commit surely if you love me you would want me with you not drive me away!”
I took a breath then carried on, “Is it because I’m not a real girl? Or is it because you are not ready to commit? I really don’t understand.”

He looked shocked and somewhat angrily retorted, “ No! It’s not because you are not a real girl in fact I hate even saying that. You are all girl every little piece of you is a girl and will be a stunning woman don’t ever, ever think that you’re anything else but really feminine girl!”

He fell silent, thinking then continued, “I think you have hit the nail on the head, it’s probably - no it is that I’m not ready to commit fully – but when I do commit I know it’s with you!”

Now I was really confused! In fact I was utterly confused! From what I could figure out he had just said that he did love me then in the next breath that he didn’t love me?
For a new girl like me (and I would imagine any girl) this was really sending mixed messages - but at least we were getting somewhere.
When I examined my innermost thoughts I was quite shocked because he was right! He was totally right I was too young to make a commitment like marriage. I had a life to live and (this sounds mercenary) a career to carve out in the world of work later perhaps we could well be right for each other but now?
No he was right in what he said but his reasoning was wrong but damn it he was right – but where did this leave the two of us? As far as I was concerned I was totally confused.

I contemplated this and finally I had to ask. Somewhat hesitantly I managed to ask, “And where does this leave us?”
He gave a big sigh, “Susanna to be totally honest with you I just don’t know. I am really attracted to you but it’s not fair to you to say I love you unconditionally.” He sighed again carrying on, “ What do you want to do?” Leaving the ball firmly in my court.

I sat there still in his arms, how did I feel, how did I truly feel? Finally I stirred and taking a deep breath I had made my decision, “Gill” I started, “Strangely enough I agree with you I am too young to fully commit also I feel attraction to you. But like you I am not sure. How would you feel if we just carry on as we are with no commitment from either of us?”

You may ask why the hell I said that but the long and the short of it is that I was attracted to him - very much so! AND, and this is the biggie I LOVED sex with him.
But deep inside I knew I needed time and our trip would give me this in spades, so I reckoned (rightly or wrongly) that I should enjoy my last few days with Gill no strings - also I would not be tied to anyone at home.
You may say the course I chose was the coward’s way out but for me I got the best of both worlds!

He looked at me tenderly saying, “Are you certain about this? I’d understand if you never wanted to see me again!”

I’d had enough of this introspection crap and directly asked him, “Do you enjoy sex with me!”
His eyes went the size of saucers in his surprise he managed to answer, “Well yes it’s amazing, and you’re a wonderful lover – why did you ask that?”
With an impish grin on my face I told him, “I just wanted to make sure before you take me to the bedroom and make mad passionate love to me!”
“Susanna Johnson, you are one amazing girl” he smiled as I disentangled myself from him and stood up.
I looked at him and asked, “Well come on or do I stand here all night?” I offered him my slender hand, which he took then we went into the bedroom and we did – make mad passionate love until the small hours of the morning and it was truly wonderful.

As I slipped back into bed after tidying myself up I mused that relationships as a girl are far more difficult than as a guy. Girls feel things on a totally different level to men it more of a heart thing with us. (The hormones and my new life are really working on my perceptions)

I felt him get out of bed the next morning but feigned sleep he kissed me gently on my forehead as I lay there eye’s closed I heard him say very quietly to himself, “God I love you but last night had to be! You have to be free to enjoy yourself as you should.”
Then he kissed me again and I realised he was crying that was the wetness I could feel and I fully realised what he had done last night!
You know what they say about eavesdroppers? Well I had just heard something that maybe I shouldn’t have.