"Does your mother know you left the house wearing that skirt?" she asked Davy. . Green Sun Chapter 13 Four-Fifths of Forever, Three Times by Donna Lamb

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"That'll do," agreed Rodney Clarence.

The Devil in Drag tossed her head and shot a glare at him. "Damn well better," she said. "You don't have any authority to force me to redo a wish, you know."

"I know," he agreed. "None but this." He patted the AR-15 which he still kept pointed at Sophie Drake's head. "Nice weapon, would have loved to have it when I was alive."

Sophie sneered. Guns had always been important to some of her less subtle projects but at the moment she wished she'd never midwifed their invention. "So we're done?"

"Guess so," said Rodney. He didn't change his aim but glanced at Bill C. Bubb's still headless body sitting calmly at the bus bench.

Unseen by Rodney, Bill had grown another face under his arm where only Sophie could see it. "Hell's Legions on standby, just say the word," Bill whispered. His mouth having formed right in the armpit, he had a curly mustache and a soul patch.

Sophie shook her head. "Can you point that thing somewhere else?" she asked Rodney.

"Not yet," said the ex-Buffalo Soldier. He kept his finger on the trigger, knowing by now exactly how much effort it would take to squeeze off a round.

"You're going to shoot me, anyway, aren't you?" Sophie asked.

"Thinking about it," admitted Rodney.

* * *

Davy considered where he wanted to go. Even though the girls had talked about the beach, he suspected they might have headed for the mall first. But he really did want to go to the beach, so he caught the blue Santa Monica bus at the corner and headed toward Venice instead of taking the RTD sideways to the mall. He couldn't help giggling at the freedom he felt, being a grown-up.

The bus driver grinned at him as Davy dropped his quarters into the box and he smiled back but blinked when he realized the man's gaze had immediately dropped to Davy's legs. Mandy's legs, really. Davy ignored him and found a seat next to an older woman who had motioned him to sit next to her. "Thank you," he said as he settled down.

The old lady nodded. "Don't neither of us want one of these hoods sitting next to us." The bus lurched into motion.

Davy looked around, wondering just who she meant. It looked like an ordinary bus full of students and business commuters to him. Except--every man or boy he could see from his seat was looking at him. Just the way they usually looked at Mandy when he rode the bus with her, he realized. He grinned, flipped his hair the way he'd seen Mandy do it, and giggled. No one at all realized he was just a little kid and he thought that was pretty funny.

Several of the men smiled back at Davy which caused him to giggle again. They all thought he was Mandy which made him wiggle in his seat with the amusement of it.

"Oh, don't encourage them, dear," sighed the old lady. She glanced at Davy's clothes. "Does your mother know you left the house wearing that short of a skirt?"

"No," admitted Davy, which caused him to giggle again. "It's the first time I've ever worn it."

Another sigh from the old lady. "Oh," she said. "Well, I remember enjoying such things; I'm not as old as all of that! We invented mini-skirts when I was your age." She grinned. "Enjoy yourself but be careful, dear."

Davy nodded, wondering what the old woman meant.

* * *

"How come you're a woman, anyway?" asked Rodney. "You're the Devil." The business of the mall in Palm Desert went on around them, the mortals saw nothing and heard nothing.

Sophie sighed. "We original angels don't really have gender," she said. "Though most of us show ourselves as male most of the time." She shrugged. "But I lost a bet a couple hundred years ago."

Rodney stared over the sights of the small rifle. "So now you're female?"

"Only on Thursdays; on any other day of the week, I can be whatever I want to be," she said. "Why am I telling you?"

"Because I've got the weapon," he pointed out. "But why the gender-bending wish granting?"

"Because it amuses me and I seem to be getting away with it, okay?" Sophie looked more annoyed. She glanced at Bill's yellow eyes peering at her from under his arm. He winked but she turned away. "Most of the time, I get away with it. I used to curse people on Friday the 13th, but the Muslims objected so I can't do that where anyone has heard of Muhammad, now. Actually," she ran her hands through her hair, "this is more fun, anyway."

Rodney watched her, frowning.

"You going to shoot me or just bore me?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

He pressed his lips together then licked them. "Still thinking about it," he said.

* * *

Her husband already occupied with the toilet bowl, Tiffanee ran for the trashcan in the kitchen. She barely made it. "It's not noon yet so I guess it's still morning sickness." She moaned. The two girls at opposite ends of the apartment heterodyned off the sounds of each other's nausea for awhile, taking turns throwing up; though in fact, it was mostly bad-tasting water because Tiffanee hadn't been foolish enough to eat anything more than toast and skim milk for breakfast.

When they'd washed their faces and cleaned up a bit, they met and hugged in the hallway; two identical, tall, busty blondes wearing boxer-pajama bottoms and Area 51 t-shirts. "So much for your idea of taking over for me when I get too fat to work," said Tiffanee. Her husband-sister giggled then began to weep. "Hey, hey," said Tiffanee, "I'm sorry about the wish, I didn't think it would really happen. What? Did one of us offend a genie or something?"

"I dunno," said the other blonde. "I'm pregnant, too, ain't I?"

"Uh huh," said Tiffanee.

"We're going to have babies."

"Yes, honey." They hugged again.

"We'll be mommies together," said the ex-man. She began to blubber again.

"Hey, hey," said Tiffanee, holding her tight. "It'll be okay. I said I was sorry. It's okay, honey."

"It's just such a beautiful experience!"

Tiffanee pushed her back and looked at her. "You're crying cause you're happy?" she asked, surprised.

"I dunno," the new woman admitted. "I'm so confused. I'm not unhappy. But I think I'm going to lose my job."

Tiffanee kissed her. "It's okay, hon. We'll just have to make twice as much money as usual for as long as we can."

"Um?"

"We'll go on as a double act. Twins. Tiffanee Topps and Brittanee Bottoms!"

They both got giggle fits, cried some more, then Tiffanee called her boss to tell him the good news about her long-lost sister.

* * *

Sophie looked at Rodney, still standing under the palm tree. "Is there anything you want, clarence?" she asked. "I could use a man like you."

"You trying to get shot?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're waiting for the cavalry to show up? It's not going to happen."

He shook his head. He knew he should get some other concession from the Devil in Drag before giving up his leverage. She'd never let this happen again. He just couldn't think of what he should demand. It wasn't safe to let the devil know what you really wanted.

"You're on your own, going outside of orders--that's the way it works. The same in any army anywhere." Sophie smirked at him. "But I tell you what, I'll give you, oh, four-fifths of an eternal second to get out of here before Bubb or I come after you. Plenty of time for you to use your Word of Recall to re-enter Heaven."

Rodney thought about it. "I want assurances from you first," he finally said.

"What. Kind?" she asked between her teeth.

"I want you to swear, three times, that you will not order, permit nor excuse any reprisals by yourself, your servants, or other forces controlled or influenced by you, directly or indirectly, against any Guardian Angel clients, past, present or future for my actions here."

Sophie looked impressed. "You sound like a lawyer," she said.

"A surprising number of law books have been purged at one time or another," he said. "I spent nearly a century of Sundays reading. That's about five college degrees worth."

"Maybe I should call you Dr. Clarence. All right," said Sophie. "I so swear. I swear it twice." She looked at him blandly. Bubb grinned at her with his hairy underarm mouth.

Rodney moved the rifle aim a fraction of an inch. "You want something back."

"Your resignation from the Guardian Angel Corps," said Sophie.

He didn't hesitate, he expected to be cashiered anyway. "Done and done and done, I say it three times," Rodney said.

Sophie nodded, smiling. "I swear as I swore before, three times and forever," she said.

Rodney shot her through the bridge of her lovely nose, disintegrated the AR-15 and spoke his Word, vanishing, all in less than four-fifths of an eternal second.

"Damn," said Bubb from his armpit. "Forgot to get him to agree not to shoot you."

"Oh, shut up," said Sophie's voice from where her head used to be. Like movie automobiles, demonic skulls usually explode when damaged.

continued...