Chapter 23

With school out, Bobbie had been going to Heather's under the guise of
being her model. Heather's mother, Betty; had come home with wild tales of
New Zealand and bad stitching. Heather, while happy to see her mother,
seemed a little annoyed after the first day. While standing in yet another
blue gown with Heather affixing pins to the hem, Bobbie found out why.

"You are such a beautiful girl, Bobbie. You have a boyfriend, right?"
Betty asked.

Bobbie got timid. "I ...I guess...."

"Heather never has a boyfriend."

"Mom," Heather said, annoyance creeping into her voice. "Give it a rest. I
don't want you to start putting Bobbie on a pedestal."

"It's just that..."

"Mom, I... ow." She stuck her finger in her mouth.

"Ok, okay. No need to get all flustered." Betty backed away slowly.

"What was that all about?" Bobbie asked.

Heather waved her hand. "She's always on me about getting a boyfriend.
I'll find someone when I'm damn good and ready. You want to get out of
here?" Exasperated, Heather started putting her supplies away.

"Anything to get out of this dress," Bobbie said. Heather smiled. Soon,
the pair was off to Daily Grind. At a table usually home to studying
students, Bobbie and Heather sat, sipping hot, caffeinated bliss. Between
them sat a Mortal Choklate.

"I'm worried about Kim," Heather said. "She's been spacey lately. She
spends so much time with Roxx..."

"For what it's worth, Mom and I don't like her either," Bobbie said.

"I know that her brother Robb went through something like this, but I
don't think it's exactly the same. I don't know if I can live with myself
if something happens to her," Heather said absently. Bobbie wondered where
that came from. Catching herself, she said. "Hard to find a good female
bass player is all," Heather pulled a piece of the cupcake off and popped
it into her mouth as if to stop talking. Bobbie could see a tightening
darkness. It had been gathering a lot lately, but she just figured it due
to the stress of the holidays. But, this was something else.

Heather sighed "I guess we should get back. I at least need to finish
that dress."

That weekend, Tim, Beth, Bobbie, and Grrl Army stood at Cheepskates. Their
diligent efforts had bought them their sign. It sat atop the door in a
large circle of orange and the blue chick in the center. Tim was excited,
so was Bobbie. Neither she nor Tim couldn't wait to open. A little
interior redecorating and Delacroix would have the country's newest
gourmet cupcake boutique. Everyone was excited...

Except Kim, she sat behind her shades, looking for all the world like she
couldn't wait to leave. When her phone rang, she was up and excusing
herself. Once she was gone, conversation turned to her.

"I fuckin' swear. That Roxx..." Bella said.

"Yeah, Bobbie. What's up with that? She was always so gung ho about the
band. Now, she just hangs around with that Suicide Girl wannabe," Amber
spoke up. "I think she was high."

Bobbie sighed," Probably.'

Heather looked at her. "Didn't her brother have a drug pro..." She turned to
Bobbie.

She screwed her face up. "Yeah," Bobbie groaned inside, she didn't want to
remember anymore. Everything had been so much better. But here it was
again. Worse, it was happening to someone else, and she seemed powerless
to stop it. All the darkness and cupcakes only seemed to draw it into
focus. They were right, Bobbie realized.

"She doesn't joke anymore," Heather said, her usually sunny expression
falling. "Not with us anyway; every time I see her and that... that..."

"Fucking whore," she spat. Bella and Amber looked at Heather, shocked.

"About fuckin' time someone fuckin' said it," Bella exclaimed. "What the
fuck is going on with her? She's like a different person."

"I know," Bobbie said. "I hope for her sake it won't last."

Heather sighed. "But it's going to break her heart. She deserves better
than that."

Beth, who had been quiet during the exchange suddenly looked up. "I don't
like her either," she said timidly. This was shocking to everyone as well.
Beth liked almost everybody, even the mention of Carla Castillo didn't
raise her ire.

Tim finally re entered the room. "Why does everyone look all down?"

"Kim," Bobbie said. "Well... more Roxx."

"We don't like her," Beth said with finality.

"Whoa." He looked around. "Well, the signs are up. I guess that means
we're ready. Just need to finish school." A buzzing sounded. Beth jumped
as if bitten by an unseen animal. The group looked at her quizzically. Her
phone never rang.

"Hi... yes, this is.... Oh, hi Steve," Beth squealed. Tim and Bobbie looked at
Heather, who seemed just as shocked as they were. "I'd love to. Okay see
you in a bit."

Folding her phone, Heather looked at Beth," What was that all about?"

"Steve just asked me to go miniature golfing with him." Her face slackened
in realization. "I have a date?"

"Fuckin' sounds like it," Bella said.

"I better get you ready," Heather said mocking annoyance. "We'll see you
guys soon. Beth?"

Beth was both stunned and excited, she chatted excitedly at Heather as
they walked to her car.

"Yeah, tomorrow's Christmas Eve," Amber said. "I should get home. I'll
call you or see you or.. whatever."

"I'll roll with ya," Bella said. The girls got up, gathered their things,
and left into the grey afternoon.

"I think we're alone now," Tim sang. "What's wrong?"

"It's Kim. I don't like Roxx."

"She seems nice enough," Tim said, sliding his arm around her shoulder.
"Kim seems to like her."

"That's what I'm afraid of. She's been getting high."

Tim looked at her. "And..."

Bobbie sighed. "I had a problem, too. So did her brother."

"She'll be fine, she's smart. You're smarter," Bobbie smiled.

"...and much cuter," Tim finished, squeezing her closer. The smile
continued, but the vacancy behind her eyes told Tim that the subject was
far from forgotten.

"So, wanna go out and look at the lights tomorrow? I mean, I know it's
Christmas Eve, you probably have..."

"Sure. I'll go. Sounds like fun."

"Oh... I forgot. This is kind of your first Christmas, isn't it?'

Bobbie reflected. In a way, I guess it is.

"Okay, sounds like fun."

Chapter 24

It was cold, storm clouds had been gathering all day. Kim was gone, Sylvia
was getting ready to leave. Apparently she and Roy hit it off at
Thanksgiving and they had continued talking. She absently wondered if Beth
had noticed.

She's been busy with Steve. She thought.

Kim was gone, again. She had been gone a lot. She looked at the miniature
Christmas tree that sat on the end table in the corner with presents
sticking out from under it at Lovecraftian angles. She remembered an
earlier life, one with a larger tree. One with more family members.

Now, things were not even remotely the same. Sylvia was leaving for the
night with Roy. She was going out with Tim. The Pointe house would be very
quiet this Christmas eve.

"Alright, Bobbie. How do I look?" Sylvia asked. She was wearing a dress.
It was an old one, it still fit her, but may have come from the wrong
decade. Like the 80s.

There was a knock at the door when Bobbie opened her mouth to speak.
Sylvia quickly crossed the room and opened the door. Roy was there, in a
slightly different suit, also looking like the 80s never died.

Bobbie grinned a little. "Just fine, Mom. Just fine."

"Hi, Sylvia. You ready?" Roy asked smiling. Sylvia returned the expression
and stepped out the door.

"You crazy kids have a good time, and you have her home by midnight
mister," Bobbie scolded, eliciting a laugh from the adults as they left.

Bobbie looked ruefully as the adults drove away. She needed to get out of
the house, she needed a break from Kim...

And Roxx.

Bobbie looked at the clock and decided it was time to change. It was cold,
and she knew she'd be walking around. She donned her cold weather gear
just in time for the sound of Tim's Vespa. As she pulled on her sweater,
she reflected on what Tim had said.

Before Jeff died, Christmas used to be a big deal; large tree, many
decorations...After his death, Christmas became a muted affair. Robb and
Melanie never really celebrated either, finding solace in each other's
arms. Bobbie looked into the mirror and brushed her hair a few times. It
was 'Bobbie's' first Christmas, she felt it; the 'Christmas Spirit'. She
wasn't sure if it was a byproduct of everything else that had happened
this year, but she felt different. Was different.

Tim rode up not long after, wearing a heavy coat. Bobbie opened the door
and pulled a beanie over her hair. It was cold, and there were streaks of
clouds that threatened to gather hanging in the sky like ethereal
ornaments attempting to find something to attach to.

"Hey, Bobbie. You ready?"

She nodded and started to reach for the spare helmet.

"Uh Uh. We're walking. All the good lights are down here," He extended his
hand. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out two cans. He handed one to
Bobbie. Tim turned his upside down and pulled out a plastic tab, he
indicated that Bobbie do the same. The cans hissed a little as they
righted them. They flipped their cans over and...

"Careful, Bobbie. It's hot," Tim said, popping the top and sipping. To
Bobbie's surprise, it was. She sipped at hers as they started walking.
Bobbie noticed the lights, it had been years since Christmas held any kind
of special enticement, for Robb or Bobbie.

They walked and sipped their coffee. Turning a corner, Bobbie and Tim
burst out laughing. One of the residents had but a large 'L' in green
lights and a circle slash in red ones covering their roof. There were the
obligatory manger displays, snowmen, and Santas with and without sleighs.
Bobbie felt a strange warmth in her hand. Looking down, she realized that
she'd been holding Tim's hand. How long have I been doing that? She felt
his hand, the skin was rough. A fleeting memory of young Robert, hold his
father's hand as they crossed the street crossed her mind. She remembered
feeling happy to be out with him. Tim's hand felt pleasant, she felt
wanted. But like two different freeways that meet at the same exit, the
journey had made everything different.

Tim and Bobbie returned to Bobbie's house late, they had walked long after
the self heating coffee had gone. Walked until the cold began to creep
into their toes, after a hug, kiss, and 'Merry Christmas', Bobbie crept
into the dark house. Small colored lights cast strange shadows on the
corner. An oddly shaped form was bunched up on the couch. Upon closer
inspection, she realized it was Kim. She was out cold, even Bobbies
shaking couldn't rouse her. Giving up, she quietly went to bed.

The next morning found Kim in the same place as Bobbie came down. This
time, her shaking worked. Her eyes looked slightly sunken in, her skin
pale. "Ugh," she said, moving to a sitting position. "Too much last
night," she groaned.

"Too much what?" Bobbie asked.

"Drank some vodka." She smiled. "I was so messed up."

"Kim..." Bobbie began.

Kim held up her hand. "I'll be fine, once the coffee gets made.

"...Merry Christmas."

Her eyelids stretched open. "Oh, yeah. I think I 'm still a little high."

Bobbie looked at her distastefully. "Keep it together today, Kim," she
warned.

Booze, pot. Jesus Kimster. This better not go any further.

Coffee was made, and Kim seemed slightly more human. "Merry, fuck it," She
reached into her jacket and pulled out a small package. "Roxx and I..."
Bobbie cringed inside at the mention of her name. "...got this for you. "
She yawned.

Sylvia came downstairs to see a wakened Kim and Bobbie drinking coffee.
"Merry Christmas," she said, heading for the coffee maker.

"Merry Christmas, Mom," Kim and Bobbie said, almost in stereo.

"Merry Christmas," Sylvia yawned. She also looked like she'd been drinking
the previous night as well. She headed to the coffee pot. Pouring a cup,
she shook her head. "Egg Nog is just as alcoholic as I remember it," Once
she reached the couch, she sat gingerly.

"How'd it go?" Bobbie asked.

"Oh, good. Roy's a nice guy. It was nice to go out." She reached over to
the tree and pulled out the slimmer packages. "Here you go, Merry
Christmas."

Opening the packages, They each found fifty dollar gift cards.

"Thanks, mom," Kim said, slipping the card into her pocket.

"Thanks," Bobbie said, looking at the card. "Your present isn't ready just
yet."

"Oh, Bobbie. You didn't have to get me anything."

"Yes, I do. You've been nothing but nice to me, even though you didn't
have to."

"Open mine," Kim said.

Bobbie ripped the paper off to reveal a custom corer/peeler/slicer type
bench scraper with "Bobbie" embossed on the blade in beautiful script. She
was touched. She looked at Kim, saw her through her hangover. For a second
the sweet girl was visible, but just for a second.

"The name was Roxx's idea," Kim admitted.

Knock, Knock.

"What the..." Bobbie said. She went to the door and opened it.

"Merry Christmas, Bobbie Blue." It was Tim, thrusting a package at her.
Myka stood behind him.

Sylvia looked at the newcomers. "Tim, what are you doing here? It's
Christmas."

Tim interrupted her. "...and I wanted to get all the people I care about in
one place. Ms. Pointe, this is my mom, Myka."

"Hi," Myka said timidly. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Myka. There's coffee and..."

"'Sokay," Tim said, gesturing at the other bag he'd brought with him.
"Bobbie, you should open that," He lifted the bag in an indicative
gesture.

She did, inside was one of those floppy chef's hats, this one a powder
blue.

"Go on, put it on," Tim chided

She did, it flopped to one side comically. Tim laughed, so did Kim and
Sylvia. After a moment, Bobbie started laughing. It was in a room full of
laughter that Bobbie heard the sobs.

"Hey hey hey. Don't be sad. Remember. No matter where you go," Tim said,
turning to his mother.

"There you are," Bobbie said.

"It's okay, mom. Lot of firsts here today, It's Bobbie's first Christmas.
Let's try for a good one," Myka smiled wanly at Tim.

"First... Bobbie? Why didn't you tell me?" Sylvia looked at Bobbie with
surprise. Bobbie shrugged.

"She doesn't think it's a big deal," Tim interrupted. He moved toward her
and snaked his hand around her waist. He used his free hand to hold up
some mistletoe over Bobbie's head.

He kissed her lightly. "Wanna make some breakfast?"

"Sure," She said, nodding, the hat falling over her left eye comically.
Kim laughed, as did Tim. Sylvia started.

In the end, Myka laughed. It started with a slow giggling that wouldn't
stop, and ended in uncontrollable chortling. It was a morning of laughter
and coffee, presents and pancakes, friends and frittata. Even Kim seemed
her old self.

***

"...so, you gotta see it the way I did. This..." He smiled at Bobbie and took
a swallow of the sparkling cider. "Stunning girl comes up to me,
introduces herself, then Carla Castillo comes up to attack her, she flips
her over like nothing and... That's how I met Bobbie," Tim finished.

"Wait," Kim said, poking a fork into the last marshmallow covered yam.
"You broke her nose again?" Kim laughed.

"I guess. We left. Guy in a Deicide beanie showed up..."

"Oh, Kurt, he's funny," Kim got up. "I'm gonna catch a shower. Gonna meet
Roxx later," Sylvia hmmed.

How does she know Kurt? Tim mouthed at Bobbie.

"Kim," Bobbie called. Tim put his hand on hers.

"It's alright. I wanted to be with my girlfriend on Christmas."

Girlfriend?

"She should be, too."

Kim slipped out without anyone noticing. Myka and Sylvia were talking,
Bobbie and Tim were outside looking at the snow, enjoying each other's
silence. The sun, already a memory threw yet another Christmas on the
bonfire of time.

"So, how was your first Christmas?"

"Pretty cool," Bobbie said, indicating the snow."Thanks for inviting
yourself over."

"Ouch," Tim took the chide. "Remember how I said lot of firsts today?"

"Mmhmm."

"It's the first Christmas since Dad and Stephanie died. I was hoping to
jar mom out of her... whatever it is. This is the first time I've gotten her
to leave the house in weeks. They seem to be getting along."

Bobbie looked at the two women. Myka's darkness was certainly less dense.

Tim and Bobbie made quick work of the dishes, leaving the cleaner than it
was when they had started. They stood at the door, Tim looked into
Bobbie's eyes.

"We'll have to make the next one better." He smiled. "At least I have a
year this time," He pinched at her side. Bobbie squirmed and giggled.

I'm ticklish? Oh, just great. She tried to tickle back...nothing.

"See you in the morning, big order tomorrow. Mom?"

Myka looked up at Tim. She hugged Sylvia before grabbing her coat.

"See you next week," Sylvia said.

"Bye," Myka waved back shyly. "Thanks." She ducked out the door ahead of
him. He kissed Bobbie.

"See ya tomorrow."

The following week was a busy one. Getting cupcakes ready, one last full
band practice before Amber and Heather went almost full time on the Spring
Musical. It was at band practice that Bobbie finally got Kim alone.

"Kimster, seriously. What's going on. You're never around anymore. I miss
having you around," Bobbie said.

"How's it feel," Kim murmured, lighting a cigarette. "What is it with
everyone? Grades are okay, haven't been arrested. Mom fucking drug tested
me yesterday."

Bobbie looked concerned. Kim waved it off.

"I knew she was going to. Took some certo. Roxx swears by it." Kim was
clearly not unnerved. Which unnerved Bobbie to no end.

"Seriously, she's not good for you. Drinking, drugs. What the fuck?"
Bobbie hissed. "You saw this happen with me. You don't want..."

"You know what?" Kim raised her voice. "I'm tired of everyone else telling
me what's not good for me. Mom, you, Heather..." She dropped and stomped on
her cigarette. "Fuckin' son of a bitch, I'm outta here," Kim stormed off,
in the distance she told her phone to call Roxx. Bobbie stood there
gobsmacked. She didn't get her bass, Bobbie noticed.

If Kim had been scarce before, then she had been downright invisible after
that.

Tim was finding it increasingly easy to get Bobbie alone. Roy had been
seeing Sylvia more often. Beth was hanging out with Heather and Amber in
preparation for the Spring Musical. The band's sudden implosion coinciding
perfectly with the year's end. Bella and Amber were positive that the
band would be back together soon, after the school year.

On New Year's Eve, Bobbie saw Kim and Roxx again while they were standing
on the roof. In the multicolored explosions of the town's annual fireworks
display, Bobbie and Tim stood holding hands.

Tim was looking at Bobbie, ignoring the fireworks. Watching the colors
reflect in her hair, he thought about his last three hundred sixty five
days. Last New Year's Eve had seen him drunk, stoned, and passed out, too
inebriated to care about the difference of one second to the next. He had
still been reeling from the deaths of his father and sister. Now, Bobbie...
this... angel... had somehow turned him back around. You tricked me into
liking myself again. Like always, you fixed a problem I didn't know was
there...

Bobbie stared out absently. Last year, I was messed up. Since August...since
'Bobbie' everything has been so good. Tim, Cheepskates, Mom...

Kimster.

As she thought about her sister, she saw her unmistakable profile down in
the street. Kim walked up to one of the seemingly random passersby, shake
his hand and walk off. Bobbie knew that move. It was obvious what she was
doing. A loud series of booms broke her focus, and she was unable to
regain her sister's location. A loud series of wild cheers erupted from
the streets below as the night sky became a twisting vortex of sound and
color.

"Happy New Year, Bobbie." He leaned into her.

"I know," Bobbie said, half grinning.

"Hell of a time for a Star Wars reference." He giggled, kissing her.

Bobbie looked out over Delacroix, it was a different place now.

It's different because I feel like a part of it now. She remembered
feeling so disconnected as Robb. It wasn't like that anymore, people liked
her. She had real relationships.

Random gunfire sang out, followed by some muted screams. Sirens rang out
after.

It was an ominous start to a new year. But, standing there with Tim, she
was sure it would be a good one.