...she felt the gentle breeze echo her and she could almost swear she heard a soft flutter, as if a bird had hovered over her. She closed her eyes, failing to notice the woman standing just off the beach on the path. The woman was tall and handsome and appeared to be surrounded by a very large if over-sized mantel. And a second later, the wrap unfurled once again, as if she had been hugging herself. She walked over to Rianna and said something softly, heard above the gentle breeze but almost unspoken as well. Her hand touched Rianna’s face gently before she disappeared like so much fog on an ever-clearing morning….

Previously…

“Is there anything else I can get for you?” Keeva and Chris smiled politely and practically whispered ‘no’ in unison. Rianna looked up at the girl and smiled and said with what seemed like more conviction than was called for,

Despite the thought that remained unspoken, Rianna Pentangelo sighed deeply like a school-girl with her first crush as her face grew very hot and red. The girl nodded and walked back to the drink station. A tall woman stood in the nearby alcove; her arms were folded in a pose of satisfaction. And Kyra looked over her shoulder, feeling a soft breeze and hearing what she could swear was the sound of the flutter of wings.

Treasure

Rianna sat in her car in the parking lot of the restaurant. Keeva and Chrissy had left for home; both a bit overwhelmed by all of the emotion of their lunch ‘confessional.’ Almost from the moment they had arrived, the time was very intense and soulful; almost a cleansing of fears and doubts; at least from their perspective. But our insecurities don’t just vanish as we address them. Often they lurk around the corner; seeking an opportunity to gain purchase on our lives. Each time we push hard against them, they return, but perhaps with a little less power.

She pulled the lever on the seat and settled back into a recline; the events of the past few days had caught up with her, and she needed to rest and think. Of course both might take a back seat, so to speak, to the sleep that quickly overtook her.

Consider the flowers of the field
In their beauty
More lovely than even the clothes of a king
Consider the birds of the air
Flying high, flying free
You are precious to me

The field was green and lush, covered sparsely with the occasional daisy and dandelion. Rianna walked up a slight rise to stand next to a large oak that looked back down at the lawn while seeming to stand guard to a path that led down the other side to a beach….a shore, in a way, even if it was lakefront. She walked down the path until she came to a pair of thick beams that lay across a stream, functioning as a crude bridge. She stepped carefully and continued down until she was standing on the small beachfront; a thin ribbon of sand that traversed the lake but widened at the foot of the path. She sighed as she looked around; hoping to find company in her brief but vital quest.

A second later she felt the gentle breeze echo her and she could almost swear she heard a soft flutter, as if a bird had hovered over her. She closed her eyes, failing to notice the woman standing just off the beach on the path. The woman was tall and handsome and appeared to be surrounded by a very large white cloak. And a second later, the wrap unfurled once again, as if she had been hugging herself. She walked over to Rianna and said something softly, heard above the gentle breeze but almost unspoken as well. Her hand touched Rianna’s face gently before she disappeared like so much fog on an ever-clearing morning….

Where your treasure is
There is your heart

At Keeva’s place…

“I know this is hard, but we really have little choice; at least for now. Your Dad is coming over to talk, and maybe we can mount up a defense.” Keeva seemed barely convinced herself, much less convincing for Chrissy’s sake.

“That’s just it. It feels like an attack every time we talk; that we have to …I have to defend myself.” She put her head down; feeling defeated even before the contest was waged.

“Well, then. Perhaps we should go on the offensive. There’s not much we can do about what you don’t have, but maybe we can show off what you do?” Keeva jumped off the couch and ran to her bedroom. A moment later she returned with a laundry basket filled with clothes and such.

“It’s going to be with the ‘big play,’ not the subtle slow time consuming drive at the end of the game, okay?” Girls who used to be boys, so to speak, don’t necessarily stop liking things for the sake of their more recent persona, and while Chrissy never was good at playing football, she still understood the game.

“He’ll be expecting something over the top; your dad means well, but he just doesn’t get subtle. So we’ll give him a very obvious display of who you are; not gaudy, but a bit more femme than even I’m used to showing off, okay?” It almost sounded like a plot from one of the stories Chrissy read on-line except that it was her life and how she fit in with her own family. Keeva would never turn her away but she feared her father would, no matter what she said or did.

“I don’t think that I want to do that.”

As matter-of-fact as any words could be; Keeva nodded. The last thing she wanted to do was usurp what little control the girl felt she had, and really, it was incumbent upon her father to understand; what he might perceive as subtle was blatantly obvious to everyone else. She nodded.

“Whatever you think is best, honey.” Chrissy had always been ‘honey’ to Keeva; the way she said it and even showed it now took mother-child to a whole different plane of existence. Though their relationship had started off as civil and respectful, Keeva had quickly taken to the child she helped Christopher raise, and though they were closer in age than she was to her ex, she felt the bond that only a mother can feel for her daughter.

“You don’t mind?” Chrissy was almost apologetic. Keeva shook her head no. She walked over to the girl and pulled her into a warm embrace.

“Of course not.” Hell, I’m only here to assist. You’re the one who has to live with whatever decisions you make.” That wasn’t entirely correct since she would bear the brunt of the disappointment and hurt the girl might feel should her father fail to accept her. Nevertheless, how and when Chrissy decided to ‘show’ herself was up to her and her alone; which is how Keeva felt it should be.

“I’m afraid…” she sighed and shuddered; the place was warm and the cold came from a place deep inside her. Sometimes fear can be hot and invasive and overwhelming. But fear can also be cold and soft and insidious. Keeva pulled her closer.

“I know, honey. I’m right here with you, for what it’s worth.” The selflessness of the moment gave the girl the strength she need as well as extra courage to feel as if what she believed really mattered.

“You’ve been more of a parent to me than he has. Don’t….” She choked on the words; almost overcome by a sense of feeling unworthy of the woman’s life-long care for her. But she went on.

“Don’t you ever feel like you’re not worth it, okay? I used to tell my friends I never knew my Mom. I am so sorry…. I’ve known her all along….She’s been right here beside me since I was a little…girl…” It was hard for her to even speak her own gender after so many years of confusion and many more of feeling abandoned.

“It’s hard to call you Mom sometimes.” She paused and Keeva’s eyes widened in disappointment. Chrissy noticed her expression and spoke.

“No….it’s just I’ve been so used to calling you ‘Keeva’ or ‘Keev,’ you know? Like you’ve been my best friend since I can remember. But you are my mom.” She paused again and gasped out a sob. Keeva stroked her hair.

“Your mother gave you life, and to recall that is precious and wonderful. I know it’s just how I feel, but there are some days I wish I had been your mom in every way. I’ll never know that joy.” She stopped for a moment and looked up at the ceiling as if in prayer. And she added.

“But being your mom now is the greatest joy I’ll ever experience this side of heaven. You’re so precious to me; like I was wandering on the beach and found a pearl…you know? Like in the Bible. Being your mom is the biggest gift I’ve been given. I love you so much, Chrissy. I hope you know that?” She bowed her head. The girl kissed her on the cheek and stepped back. Keeva looked up and saw that Chrissy had been crying, but the expression on her face seemed to shine out with a radiance of gratitude. The both breathed out a sigh at the same time, causing them to laugh.

“Okay. Subtle it is. But I get to pick the accessories,” Keeva laughed again and Chrissy just shrugged and smiled.

At the Safeway a few days later…

“Oh, gosh.” Keeva practically shouted as her cart banged into another; Rianna looked almost as surprised as she did.

“I’ve been meaning to call you.” Rianna said quickly. She hadn’t meant to rush what she wanted to say, but the mere presence of the woman before her left her practically tongue-tied. Keeva backed off enough to free her cart.

“Me too. I wanted to thank you again for lunch the other day. It’s not easy sharing yourself, I suppose, and it meant the world to Chrissy.” Rianna nodded, wishing that it had meant the world to Keeva as well.

“I’m glad I could help. Not to make a big deal about me, but when I went through my discovery I didn’t have anyone to help me. I’m only glad that we’ve been able to hook Chrissy together with some support. I hope you don’t mind that I took the initiative to have Jenna contact her?”

“No, not at all. I’m glad for the help.”

“While I’ve got your attention….” Rianna laughed and stepped closer, causing Keeva to step backward; nearly knocking down a cardboard kiosk filled with corn chips, Her face grew warm.

“I’m sorry. Anyway,” Rianna began quickly in an attempt to diffuse the embarrassment both women felt.

“I wanted to know if you might be free for lunch on Saturday.” She didn’t include Chrissy’s name in the invitation but would welcome them both if the question came up. Keeva looked slightly down before returning her attention to the question.

“Oh, We can’t. Christopher is coming over to discuss the future.” She hadn’t meant to sound dismissive but that’s exactly how it sounded and looked to Rianna. She sighed and said quietly,

“Oh…okay…I understand.” She really didn’t, but it appeared that way to Keeva as the two danced around in a sort of misconstrued pasodoble.

“Well, I’ve got to get going.” She smiled weakly and turned around; gone before Keeva could say a word more.

A few minutes later, Rianna sat in the parking lot of the store. The windows were rolled down despite the cold rain falling into the car. The windshield wiper was on even though the engine was off and the car had almost filled with a fog of sorts; belying both the cold of the moment and obscuring the tears that fell freely. She was at least glad that she had parked in a space away from the building and that Keeva had left the parking lot without noticing her.

If a son asks his father on earth
For fish or for bread
Who among you would give him
A snake or a stone
How much more does the Father above
Have a heart full of love
For the children that He calls His own

A while later at Keeva’s apartment…

“I ran into Rianna at Safeway today.” She laughed at the irony but continued.

“She invited us for lunch, but I explained that your father was coming over. She seemed to be a bit put out by that.” Her expression finished her sentence with a ‘wonder-why’ shrug.

“Are you serious?” Chrissy said, answering the unasked question. Chrissy started to grin; it was good to see the girl gaining some balance of humor. Keeva stared at her and practically whispered,

“What?”

“You obviously weren’t paying attention when we went to lunch.” Chrissy shook her head and grinned like a cat.

“What????”

“When we all stopped crying, you didn’t notice her looking at you?”

“No…should I have?” The metaphoric carpenters were already working on the wall as her tone turned very defensive.

“No…I guess not.” Chrissy’s tone allowed for the confusion of that moment since all of them had been highly emotional and for entirely great reasons. Still, she couldn’t let it go completely.

“She stared at you. She had her chin resting on one hand and she just…”

“What?!” Keeva was almost angry as the dialogue played out slowly; or at least slower than her patience could bear.

“She hung on every word you said. I think….” Keeva glared at her as she ‘dawdled’ in the explanation.

“Okay…. I think that Rianna has a crush on you!”

“No…no….”

“Oh yes.”

“But I don’t feel that way…I don’t feel that way about any…girl.” Rianna protested.

“Well, maybe, but she feels that way about you!”

“No…that can’t be.” She shook her head and her daughter mirrored her expression.

“Why not? She’s attractive. You’re very attractive.” Chrissy grinned as Keeva’s face turned very red.

“I am not.” She actually believed that; insecurities she thought she had killed and buried leapt from their crypt and pulled at her. She shook her head no, but less in protest and more in fearing the implications of being wrong. Chrissy walked up to her and put both hands on Keeva’s shoulders; almost a pep talk, but from the rookie to the pro.

“You’re about the nicest, prettiest woman I know. She sees that. Hell, even Daddy saw that, even if he was an idiot to blow his chance with you. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“Oh…I don’t….” Part of her still entertained the notion of some sort of reconciliation. Christopher MacIlroy may have made some great strides in rejoining the human race, but the reunion ship sailed long ago, only to sink in the ocean of his selfishness.

“What I’m saying means nothing; you know? She obviously sees something in you that you don’t see in her. And you hardly…you never see the good in yourself. But I see a side of you that no one else has ever bothered to notice…except maybe for a nice paramedic. You’re kind and considerate. You’re wise without …you don’t realize what you’ve done for me, and it’s too…. Sad,’ she said, omitting the expletive.

“But I’m not…” Keeva protested, as if it would be wrong to even acknowledge one fraction of what her daughter had said. And she sat down; putting her hands in front of her face as if to hide from the truth. That moment in the store where she literally ran into Rianna was a moment of very awkward truth; that while she might not be able to speak it, never the less, when it came to being attracted, the feeling was mutual…and painfully apparent at that.

“Face it, Mom!” Chrissy laughed once more before walking over to Keeva. She stood next to her and patted her back. Keeva looked up; the tears practically pleading for her daughter to be wrong while desperately hoping she was right.

“What?” No argument but instead a quiet, resigned near-whisper, which Chrissy answered in almost the same tone.

“You still got it!” She kissed her mother on the cheek and then walked into the kitchen humming an old tune she had heard in a dream only the night before. And off in the corner a tall, handsome woman stood, her head bent low to allow for the ceiling. Her wings were unfurled and wrapped around her like a relieving, confident hug. And she smiled before fading softly away.

Where your treasure is
There is your heart

Next:Wave After Wave

Treasure
Written and performed
By Iona
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IdWReWFOZE