“Have you forgotten?” She asked as she pushed past me and went upstairs. Then as I followed her, it dawned on me; we were supposed to go shopping!

Football Girl

By Susan Brown

Chapter 6

Previously...

I had a lot of things running through my mind; the medical, my goal in the practice match and now, most of all, the fact, now dawning on me that my private life may be exposed and how that might affect my possible transition.

It was fast becoming clear that my life–already complicated, was going to get much more complex over the next weeks and months.

And now the story continues.

1

I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I heard was a knock on the door downstairs. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was ten to six!

Yawning, I arose from the sofa and went downstairs, opening the door and rubbing my eyes at the same time, I saw Josie standing there with a frown on her face.

“What?” I asked, yawning.

“Have you forgotten?” She asked as she pushed past me and went upstairs. Then as I followed her, it dawned on me; we were supposed to go shopping!

“Sorry, Josie, I fell asleep. I get a bit tired after heavy games.”

“Well, don’t forget to take those iron pills, that’s probably why you feel that way. Now we must get you ready sharpish if we are going to have any time to hit the shops.”

“What should I wear?” I asked, finally coming around and waking up.

“Well, I’m going to make us some coffee and you are going to dress sensibly so that you can change in and out of clothes without too much hassle.”

“I…I’m not too sure about going out in girls’ clothes.”

“From what I saw last night, Susan, I didn’t see much boy there. Anyway, you need some clothes and this is the best way to get them. That reminds me, here are the shoes that were delivered today.” She handed me a box.

“Thanks,” I said hesitantly as I went to the bedroom, leaving her clinking cups and doing the coffee.

I still was a bit nervous but realized that if I wanted to be accepted as a girl, I must do this.

I went to the wardrobe: looking at the few things hanging there that I actually had to wear, I realised my options were a bit limited. I was scratching my head as I heard a noise behind me. Turning around, I saw Josie coming in with two steaming mugs in her hands.

“Come on, slow coach, time’s running out!”

“I don’t know what to wear.”

“Where have I heard that before?” she said, putting the mugs down on the dressing table and walking over to me.

“Hmm, you’re right; you don’t have much, do you? Look let’s be practical and work with what you’ve got. I think that this blouse–it’s nice and loose–and your knee length denim skirt should do it. Have you got any tights?”

I opened my smalls’ drawer and took out a pair of nude tights.

“Good; that’ll do. I’ll leave you to get dressed; give me a shout when you’re ready.”

She picked up her mug and returned to the lounge. I quickly got out of my boy stuff, went into the bathroom and sprayed some smellies in all sorts of strategic places, Then I had a wee and after washing my hands, returned to the bedroom. I put on some white cotton panties and then slipped on my padded bra. Sitting down to put on my tights, I was careful not to snag them as I pulled them up my still-smooth, hairless legs. I pulled up the skirt and zipped it up the back. Finally, I put on the blouse, which was a white, and a loose peasant style. Glancing in the mirror, I thought I looked pretty okay–for the shops, that is.

“Josie?” I called as I sipped my now-cooling coffee.

“Yes, honey? Oh, that looks nice; not as glam as last night, but practical.”

“Makeup?” I asked.

“Hmm, definitely; can you do it?”

“Yes, I’m not too bad at it now.”

“Well, don’t overdo it; we’re going shopping–not clubbing–and try to hurry up because I want to be out of here in fifteen minutes.”

“Okay,” I replied, sitting at the dressing table and reaching for the necessary.

I was ready in ten minutes, which surprised me, but Josie sent me back as my lipstick was a bit wonky and that took another few minutes to sort out.

Soon I was finished and in no time at all, I had pulled on my coat, put on my new shoes, which were reasonably comfortable but didn’t really go with my skirt, and picked up my shoulder bag–another eBay special that was black and so went with most things.

I locked the front door behind us and got into the car with Josie.

I was a mite nervous as we drove down the road, wondering if anyone was looking at me. Every time we stopped at a junction, I shrank down in my seat.

“Now, just stop doing that,” said Josie after the seventh time. “You look fine–just a nice teenage girl sitting in a car. You haven’t got two heads and no way do you look anything remotely like a boy so just relax and enjoy yourself.”

“Easy for you to say,” I mumbled under my breath. I swear I could hear Josie mumble something about ‘teenagers’. I didn’t know what that was about.

In a surprisingly short time, we arrived at the shopping centre. After parking on the twelfth floor, we made our way to the lifts. It was bit chilly and exposed in the car park and I wondered whether it would have been better to wear jeans. A skirt and tights were no real protection from the windy and cold weather sometimes.

We passed a few people and no one seemed to scream and shout at the freak in a dress, so I relaxed a bit. Soon we found ourselves in the brightly lit shopping centre. The place was surprisingly packed with people. I wondered fleetingly, if there was anyone else there who was like me — transgendered, then I was too busy to think as Josie took me into every clothes shop she could think of.

I tried on lots of different clothes. Josie seemed to know all the shops quite well and I was thankful that the changing rooms were cubicles rather than open ones. Eighty percent of the things I tried on were not ‘right’ for me. Trying to work out the correct colour, style, size and other things not definable made me giddy with it all. I tried on skirts, dresses, tops, jumpers, jeans, cut offs, I don’t think that there was one type of clothing that I didn’t try on. Then there were the shoes. It seemed like I tried on more shoes than that lady–erm Imelda Marcos was it?–had in her closet. I found out that I had a high instep and a wide foot, whatever that means. On top of that, Football evidently didn’t do much for the shape and condition of my toenails and I had to promise Josie that I would look after them. Though how I could do that, I didn’t yet know.

We went back to the car several times to drop off bags and I seriously wondered if we should have brought a lorry with us, as the back of the car was heavily loaded up!

After all this, I was getting a bit shell shocked and shopped out, but I hadn’t accounted for Josie’s incredible stamina, which far outstripped any professional footballers I had seen.

She held me by the hand as I was plunged into the heady world of ladies’ undies.

We visited several shops for these essential items and I ended up with a vast array of panties; cotton, satin and other fabrics. I became the proud owner of a number of slips, half and full. I thought that they were a bit old fashioned, but according to Josie, the style guru, they were coming back. I also bought some pretty nightdresses. Finally, we purchased some bras. I thought that we were going to get some padded ones, but Josie insisted that I get some full and half ones without padding, saying that she would explain later.

After that mammoth shopathon, we decided to stop for a break. We went up to the atrium where all the food places were and I sighed with relief when we sat down with our drinks and sticky buns.

“Well, Susan, have you enjoyed your first experience shopping like this?”

“Well I must say, it’s certainly different,” I replied, laughing.

“Yes it does take some getting used to, doesn’t it?” We both laughed and then Josie got serious.

“I spoke to my friend, the Doctor, and she said that she knows a specialist who may be able to help you. She arranged an appointment for you with her on Friday morning. Will that be okay?”

“That would be great!” I said with enthusiasm.

“I’ll get Jeff to look after the twins and I’ll take you in my car. Try to be ready by about two o’clock, okay?”

“Thanks Josie, you’re a star.”

She just smiled.

We chatted quietly as we watched the other customers. My eye was caught by a pretty girl coming our way. I caught my breath as I realized that I knew who she was. Before I left school, I had one friend, Andrew Creasey… I say friend, we weren’t really that close, but just sort of gravitated together due to our love of football. I had gone to his house several times and had met his sister there. Her name was Claire and she was coming our way with a puzzled look on her face. I tried to turn away and hide my face with my hand. Josie was looking at me in a peculiar way and was about to say something when Claire came up to the table and sat down!

“Mark? It is you. What’s going on?”

2

I looked up, heart in my mouth and found myself speechless.

“You must be mistaken dear, this is Susan,” said Josie, “anyway Mark is a boy’s name how could you possibly mistake her for a boy?”

“I’ve been like following you around for a bit. There was something about her that nagged at me. At first I thought that it was someone who I had met somewhere. I didn’t like want to go over and say something because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Then I followed you both into the lingerie shop and then I noticed that she like kept rubbing the side of her nose with her little finger. Then it just clicked and I looked a bit closer and under the makeup and everything, I like recognised Mark.”

I had stopped hiding behind my hand and was looking at her as she explained. I sighed and just smiled ruefully at her. She didn’t look like she was going scream and shout about it. She always was quite nice when I saw her at Andrews’s house and I hoped that she would understand.

“So, Mark, or should I say, Susan, what’s all this about like?”

“It’s Susan,” said Josie rather heatedly,” we don’t know a Mark…”

“It’s okay, Josie; I’ve been rumbled as they say in the cop shows. Sorry, Claire, I think I need to tell you what’s happened.”

“Look, M…I mean Susan. I’m not one of those people who like go all funny about people’s sexuality or anything. Just tell me, are you like doing this as a joke or a bet or is there something behind all this?”

“It’s no joke to me. I’ll tell you all about it, if you want to really know…”

Josie got some more drinks and sticky buns as I took a deep breath and told Claire all that had happened to me. It took some time to tell her and answer all her questions, but eventually I came to the point where we were now and just sat back and waited for her reaction.

“So you have felt like you were a girl for a long time?”

“Almost forever.”

“Blimey; it must like suck that you are trapped in boy’s body then?”

“Yes, it is horrible, but at least I can now be myself sometimes and I’m getting help with transitioning too.”

“Andrew did like wonder why you didn’t come back to school. He went round to your house the other day and found the place empty.”

“That’s because I moved out and my mum’s gone to stay with her sister in Scotland.”

“So you live by yourself over the café?”

“That’s right.”

“And you’ve become a professional footballer?”

“Mmm.”

“Blimey; What'll happen when they get to know about, you know what?”

“What?” I asked.

“Dressing or being a girl, silly. Like what did you think I meant?”

“I haven’t thought too far ahead. So much has happened I just want to take one day at a time.”

“So, Claire,” asked Josie, “now you know about Susan, how you feel about it. I want you to know that I would be seriously displeased if you did anything to hurt her.”

Claire looked shocked.

“Hurt her! You have to like be kidding. I think that she’s seriously cool to do what she’s done and I wouldn’t hurt her for the world. I like won’t tell anyone about this, I promise.” She turned to me; “Look, Susan, can we like see each other sometimes? I think that it would be cool and we can hang out or something.”

“That would be nice.” I said shyly.

“Ooh you are all shy, aren’t you? We’ll have to knock that out of you. I don’t mean knock–wrong words; what I mean is that I’ll like help you and give you a few tips and things. No insult Josie, but I like know a bit more about being young than you.”

“Bloody cheek! I have you know, I was young once and I’m not that old now.”

“Sorry, wrong words again. I think that you’re quite young and everything, but, like, you aren’t a teenager, are you?”

“No, but still…”

I started laughing; it was the way they were talking to each other. I couldn’t help it. They looked at me as if I was mad and then started giggling themselves! It took a few minutes for us to return to normal.

“Well,” said Claire, “I have to go now as my mum’s like waiting for me and she’ll string me up if I’m late again. Here’s my mobile number if you want to ring me or send me a text that would be like cool. ’Bye now.”

She stood up, hesitated and then looked at me again, “Susan I think you look lovely and I like really do want to be your friend; call me soon won’t you?”

I smiled up at her and nodded. “That would be great. I need all the friends I can get. I’ll text you tonight.”

With a finger wave, Claire left to find her mum, leaving Josie and me to reflect on what had just happened.

“Well that was a surprise,” said Josie, “she seems to be a really nice girl though I wish she’d stop say ‘like’ on every other sentence!.”

“Yes, like, I met her like a couple of like times at Andrew’s house, she was like very nice to me.”

I couldn’t keep it up and just started giggling.

Josie laughed and then looked at her watch. “Don’t you start doing it; look, we haven’t got much time; there’s one more place we have to go to.”

“Where?” I asked, totally shopped out and, frankly, knackered.

“It’s a surprise.”

We got up and left the atrium and went up to a sort of mezzanine floor. There were a few shops up there; they looked like specialist shops–craft and hobby shops, places where nerds, geeks and other beings from outer space lurked. Mind you dressed as I was and with what I had in my panties, I should talk!

In the corner was a shop that supplied surgical supplies. I was a bit bemused as Josie led me to it. Inside, I found myself in a small shop with a counter. There weren’t any items on show. It was a very plain shop really. I expected to see false limbs, eyes and stuff like that.

“Can I help you?” said the middle-aged woman behind the counter.

“Yes please,” said Josie, “I rang you earlier...”

“Oh yes, nice to see you.” She turned to me. “You must be Susan; hello, dear.”

“Erm, hi,” I said, not really knowing what was going on. Josie turned to me.

“Susan, you know we bought those bras in the shop a short while back.”

“Yes,” I replied.

“I think you wondered why they weren’t padded.”

“I did wonder.”

“I thought it would be a good idea if you had more realistic-looking breasts.”

“More realistic?”

“That’s right. This shop caters for people who do not have normal looking breasts–like people who have had mastectomies or even transgender folk, who need enhancing.”

“Enhancing?” I asked.

“Yes, breast forms are more natural than foam padding and feel nicer too–or so I’ve heard.”

“Right,” said the lady, “if you would like to go into the changing room and take off your blouse, I will do some measurements and see if we can get you something that you will be comfortable with.”

I went into the changing room pulled the curtain across and took my blouse off. I wondered if the breast forms would make me look more natural. In a few moments the lady came in and started measuring me and then wrote a few notes on a pad. She then asked me to stay where I was. She was only gone a few moments and came back with a couple of boxes.

“Right, dear,” she said, “would you like to put on one of these bras?”

She handed me one of the bras that she must have been given by Josie (I recognised it; white with nice lacy bits) and I quickly put it on. It felt strange without any padding.

The lady–I still didn’t know her name–opened one of the boxes and picked out something pink and fleshy-looking. She handed it to me, but I didn’t know what to do with it!

Smiling, she took it back and then carefully placed the pink breast shaped thing inside my bra, I jumped slightly as the breast form felt cold against my naked skin. Then she took the other one out of the box and did the same on the other side.

“They’ll soon warm up,” she said with a smile.

She was right; they quickly warmed up with heat of my body. I looked down and saw that my breasts did look more natural. It was rather strange though, because I wasn’t used to the weight now on my chest.

“How do they feel?” she asked.

“Different,” I replied softly.

“You’ll soon get used to them; they fit okay, don’t they?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Would you like to leave them on?” she asked.

“Yes, that would be nice.” I said as I reached for my blouse and put it on.

‘You will see some special adhesive in the box for those times that you want them to look more permanent. There is an instruction leaflet and adhesive remover in there too. If you aren’t sure how to do the necessary, either ring me up or come in; okay?”

“Yes, thanks.” I replied.

As I left the changing cubicle I could feel my new breasts jiggling slightly. It was a strange feeling but rather nice.

Josie was sitting in the corner reading a magazine. She looked up as I walked in.

“Well, they look okay,” she said, “do you like them?”

“Yes, they are very, very nice. I pointed to the left one. This one’s Pinkie and the other one’s Perky; thank you very much!”

“That’s okay then–my treat, although I don’t think that it’s normal to name your breasts! Thanks, Mabel, you’re a star.”

“That’s okay dear; it’s nice to help somebody. I think you’re very pretty Susan, you make a lovely girl and if Pinkie or Perky start playing up, be sure to give me a call.”

“Thank you, I will,” I smiled.

After saying our goodbyes we left the shop with our packages. The shopping centre was closing soon, and so we made our way back to the car park. I must say that the swaying of my new breasts were a bit distracting even with a bra on to hold them reasonably firmly in place! Mind you, wearing my new blancmanges made me feel more feminine than I had ever done before.

Putting our packages on the back seat of the car, we got in and prepared to leave. There weren’t many cars left in the car park now, as most of the shoppers had left. As we drove home, I was looking forward to trying on my new clothes and shoes and was so pleased that I now had a decent wardrobe for me to choose from!

“Well,” Josie said as we arrived at the café, “Did you enjoy that?”

“Yes, it was great, thanks soooo much for taking me.”

“That’s all right, dear, it was a pleasure. Let’s get these bags upstairs, and then I have to go home because I need to see to Jeff and the twins.”

It took two trips to get all the packages upstairs and into the flat. We covered the bed with bags and the overflow went on the floor.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” said Josie as she started to leave.

“Thank you so much again for looking after me.”

“That’s all right, dear, I really enjoyed being with you; it’s nice to have a girl, especially a lovely girl like you to go shopping with. We must do it again.”

“Yes please, I’d enjoy that It was fun, wasn’t it?”

I looked at her and couldn’t resist rushing to her to give her a big hug.

“What was that for?”

“Because I love you and Jeff; you’re so good to me. I think you’re my second mum and dad.”

“Oh Susan, we love being there for you and I do feel like your mum; a very young mum, but still a mum.”

“I really appreciate what you’re doing for me.”

“I know honey. Look I have to go now, but I’ll pop round tomorrow and have a nice girlie chat, okay?”

“That’d be cool. I’ll give you a fashion show if you like?”

“Yes, that’d be great. See you tomorrow then.”

With a wave, she went downstairs. I watched her car lights recede into the distance, and pulled the curtains. I had a nice warm feeling in my tummy. It was lovely having people care for me and I wondered if they would mind my calling them mummy and daddy. My mum was mum and I loved her to bits, but I have never seen a law anywhere that stops you having more than one mum or dad! Mind you, with this present government, you never know!

I took my mobile phone out of the bag, and then looking at the paper where I had Claire’s mobile number; I texted her my e-mail address. I didn’t want to ring her in case she wasn’t alone. So I thought that if I left her an e-mail message, she might be able to reply without other people, like Andrew, knowing about it. I so hoped we’d be friends, especially as she seemed okay with my dressing. I really needed all the friends I could get.

I returned to the bedroom and undressed. The breast forms still felt rather strange but I was getting more used to them now; I pulled them out–they were a bit sweaty, so I wiped them with a towel, and then placed them in their box. I wondered what they would be like glued to me and promised myself that I would try it soon.

I took off my bra and my panties, and then I went back into the bedroom and went over to the carrier bags. After rummaging about a bit, I found one of my new nighties. It was pale pink, knee length and made of shimmery satin; it looked gorgeous and felt all slippery to touch. I took it into the bathroom and left it on the chair. Using makeup remover, I cleaned my face, and then put on my nightie. I loved the way it slid down my body–very nice! Then I brushed my hair, and cleaned my teeth. I didn’t use any mouthwash as |had read in one of my girlie magazines that it could cause mouth ulcers or even worse. It wasn’t very late, but I was quite tired. So I decided I would go to bed and have an early night.

I made sure the alarm on my mobile was set for 7:30am as I wanted to go out for a run before doing anything else tomorrow. At the last moment, I remembered to take my iron tablets and hoped that they might give me a bit more oomph.

Soon I was in bed feeling warm and relaxed. Then I got up again and went over to one of the bags. I pulled out a sweet stuffed white rabbit (not a real one, of course!) that I had treated myself to and went back to bed. As I cuddled it, I reflected on my lovely day, and hoped that I’d have more of the same soon.

3

The next day, I woke up to the sound of that blasted frog noise. It took a great deal of willpower not to throw my phone across the room, but somehow I managed to stop myself in time.

I left my rabbit sleeping on the pillow, and yawning, got up and went to the toilet. After doing the necessary, I took off my nightie and then had a quick shower. I used a shower hat as I didn’t want to get my hair wet. It was a bit silly having a shower before going for a run, but it did help wake me up a bit. After drying myself, I put on my track suit and trainers, and soon found myself out in the street.

I ran across the playing fields; they were a bit muddy as there had been a slight thaw overnight. It certainly wasn’t as cold as it had been over the previous week. I could feel I was a bit stronger in my running today, and I didn’t seem to be quite so breathless. It might have been the iron tablets, but I didn’t think that they would work that quickly.

As I ran, I wondered if Claire had seen the text I sent to her. I decided that as soon as I got back home, I would check my e-mails. I had quite a long run that morning as I felt really strong. It was nice to feel some strength in my body and I hoped I would be fit enough to be able to play football at a professional level and not just keep running out of puff.

Running along beside the canal, I felt full of life. Everything seemed to be coming together now, and I reflected that it was great that I had a new friend. I had always been a bit of a loner and found it very hard to make friends. I hoped that Claire would be the friend I wanted and had needed all my life. After about forty minutes, I arrived back at the flat. I opened my front door and let myself in. I felt rather tired as I walked up the stairs so I flopped down on the sofa and took off my running shoes, still breathing rather heavily, but I feeling all the better for my run. I was glad I went.

I was just about to take my sweaty clothes off. When my phone rang: I picked it up and I noticed it was a withheld number.

“Hello,” I said.

“Is that Mark Hurst?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“Hi this is Bob Ferris from the Daily Globe.”

“Yes?”

“I have been hearing great things about you, Mark. From what I hear, you are really going places. Melchester are a great club. How do you feel about joining them?”

“Sorry I can’t speak to you now. Can you please speak to my agent, John Prentiss?”

“Oh, I know John very well and I’m sure that he wouldn’t mind my talking to you about your career.”

“I’m sorry I can’t talk to you. Please talk to John, thank you.”

I switched the phone off, my heart pounding. How did he get my number, I wondered. I stripped off and had a shower.

Afterwards I put on one of my new blouses. It was a pink strappy affair and was one of yesterday’s purchases. I didn’t bother with the bra, as I may have had to change quickly into my boy mode. I put on some pink panties, and a black skirt. After brushing my hair, I felt human again.

I had some toast for breakfast, with a cup of coffee. I turned on the news and saw that the credit crunch hadn’t got any better or disappeared overnight and almost everyone was getting poorer by the day. There wasn’t any mention of Melchester in the sports news and I took that to be good sign that we didn’t have any more injuries.

After clearing up my breakfast things, I turned on my computer and waited for it to warm up. After a few minutes, I checked my e-mails. There was one from Claire! I opened the e-mail up and read her message.

Hi Susan,

It was great seeing you yesterday, I think you are very pretty and I’m a bit jealous. Anyway enough of my insecurity problems. I’ll come and see you after school this afternoon. If you can’t make it, just text me.

Hugs,
Claire.

I smiled as I re-read the e-mail. It was nice to hear from her and I looked forward to seeing her later. I rang downstairs to the cafe.

“Hi Jeff, do you need a hand?”

“Two would be better–sorry, erm yes, that would be great if you’ve got time.”

“Shall I come as Susan or Mark?”

“Come as Susan; none of the regulars will recognise you. I know you like to be Susan as much as possible. So this would be a good opportunity for you, but only if you want to.”

“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.”

I took my blouse off, slipped on a bra and placed Pinkie and Perky into their new homes. After replacing my blouse, I was ready for anything… except I had forgotten to put on my shoes. I checked my hair, just to make sure that I hadn’t gone too blond with my thinking and then giggling, I put on my black low heeled shoes–another purchase from yesterday–and finally I was ready and went downstairs to help Jeff.

“Hi, Jeff,” I said as I walked in.

“Hello, Susan, you look nice today.”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling a bit embarrassed as a couple of customers looked up and smiled at me. Would they have smiled if I had been in boy mode?

It didn’t seem that anyone recognised me as Mark and I soon relaxed, helping Jeff by clearing the tables and washing-up.

After the place emptied a bit, I sat down with Jeff and we had a cup of tea.

“Well done; it wasn’t too bad was it?” said Jeff, manfully ignoring the new growths on my chest. It was obvious that he had been briefed by Josie and faced instant pain if he said anything about them.

“No, I was a bit worried, but it turned out okay.”

We chatted for a while, and then things got busy again. It wasn’t until nearly two o’clock that the last customer left and we closed up. Jeff thanked me for helping him and said that he had just had a text from Josie, who said that she would be coming up to the flat in about 30 minutes.

I said goodbye to Jeff and went upstairs again, I had forgotten to make the bed and so I tidied up a bit and then waited for Josie to arrive.

Soon I heard a knock on the door, so I went downstairs and opened it.

“Hello Susan, how are you today, dear?”

“Fine, thank you,” I replied, taking her coat. We went upstairs and I made her a cup of tea, and I had a Coke.

“Well, have you heard from Claire, yet?”

“Yes, she sent me an e-mail. She’s coming round after school today.”

“She seems like a nice girl.”

“Yes, I’m looking forward to seeing her.”

“Well, what have you been up to today?”

“I helped Jeff downstairs in the cafe. After my run this morning, I had a phone call from that man from the Globe. He wanted to talk to me, but I didn’t want to. So I just told him to contact John Prentiss. I don’t think he was very happy.”

“Well, that’s his problem, isn’t it? You need your privacy, especially now.”

“I’m really worried about anybody finding out about me. I don’t know what to do really. Do you think I need to tell John Prentiss about my being a girl?”

“Well, it’s up to you, but I think you should wait until you speak to a specialist before deciding anything else.”

“I agree really; I don’t think I want anybody to know yet. Not until I’ve finally decided what I am going to do. Anyway, I was going to ring my mum while you are here. Do you want to speak to her?”

“Yes, that’d be nice. I wonder how she’s getting on in Scotland.”

I picked up my phone, and speed dialled my mum’s mobile number. I waited for a few moments and then I heard her on the other end. It was nice to hear her voice.

“Hello Mum, it is Mark, how are you?”

“Hello Mark, I am fine love; how are you?”

“I’m okay, thanks.”

I told her all that had happened to me and about how Josie and Jeff had accepted me as Susan. I also told her about what had happened regarding the medical and the offer of a contract from Melchester. She was very pleased for me, but I could hear the worry in her voice.

“Are you dressed as Susan now?” she asked.

“Yes, I feel so much better as Susan than I do as Mark. Josie has got me an appointment with a specialist–a gender specialist–and she will hopefully help me with pills and things.”

“When are you going?”

“Friday, I suppose I’m looking forward to it, but if she says, that I can’t be a girl, I don’t know what I would do.”

“There’s no point in worrying about it now; wait until Friday and see what she has to say.”

“Josie’s here; she would like to have a word with you, if that’s okay.”

“Okay, love, I’ll speak to you again, perhaps on Friday?”

“Yes, that’d be great. I miss you, mum.” I replied, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

“I miss you too, love. Perhaps we can see each other soon.”

“I hope so; here’s Josie.”

I left them chatting and went into the bathroom to wipe my face. I missed my mum so much and I vowed that I would see her again as soon as possible. After a few minutes I came back in and Josie was just saying goodbye to my mum. She put the phone down, and then turned to me.

“Are you okay, Susan?”

“I suppose so,” I sighed.

“Let’s hope you can see her soon, eh?”

“Mmm.”

Josie stayed with me for a while, and we chatted about things. We had a look through my new clothes, and believe it or not. Josie felt that I did just have enough; for now!

After Josie left, I made myself a sandwich and practiced with my makeup. I was getting quite good at it now. I always had trouble with my lips though; I couldn’t quite get it right. I was getting a lot better though. It was just after four and I heard the doorbell ring. I went downstairs, opened the door and there was Claire.

“Hi, Claire, thanks to coming.”

“That’s okay; I’ve been looking forward to it. Are you going to let me in then?”

“Sorry,” I said laughing and standing aside.

We went upstairs and in no time were chatting like old friends. She told me all that had been happening at school, and I told her what I had been up to.

“You haven’t told Andrew about me have you?”

“No, I said I wouldn’t and I won’t unless you like want me to.”

“I want to see the doctor first before I start telling anybody else. I just get the feeling that she might laugh at me like my old doctor did. I would hate that. Also, if it got out that I was transgendered, I don’t know how it would affect me with Melchester.”

“I’m sure the doctor won’t laugh at you. She’s a specialist, so she knows all about people in your predicament. I think, like, you’re right not to let too many people know about things though until you’re, like, sure where you stand and everything.”

I changed the subject and we started talking about football. It turned out that Claire was a fan of Melchester too. She was thrilled to know that I was now going to play for them, and she had all sorts of ideas about how well I would do. She remembered seeing a couple of matches when I played at school, and how well I did there. Football was the only good thing I was really good at. Everything else I tried at school didn’t really work for me.

We spent a pleasant afternoon together; she tried on some of my clothes, and thought I had a very good dress sense; even though Josie chose the most of the stuff!

“D’you, like, fancy a Mackey D?” she asked.

I was getting a bit hungry and I didn’t really have anything much to eat in the fridge; so it was a pretty easy answer really.

“Okay, do you think I should go as Susan, or should I change back into Mark?”

“Well, I don’t think anybody would like recognise you if you go as Susan.”

“I want to stay Susan as much as possible. I feel very uncomfortable being Mark. The only reason why I am being Mark at all is because of the football.”

“I know, honey, but that’s all you can do at the moment–dress as Susan when you can, I mean like. Maybe the doctor will have some ideas as to what you can do.”

Mackey D’s wasn’t too far away by bus, so just minutes later, we arrived there and were soon eating our Big Macs. It amazed me that nobody recognised me as a boy. The spotty youth behind the counter looked me up and down; it was something I hadn’t bargained for–being ogled like that. It was one aspect of girlhood that I wasn’t too comfortable with. Mind you, it was a bit weird because I felt a bit more self-assured than I thought I would. Maybe it was because I was wearing my breast forms. They looked a lot more natural than just wearing a padded bra. I was very aware of the weight on my chest, and it helped me feel what it would be like to have breasts of my own. We sat in a corner, drinking our milk shakes, and munching our food, talking to each other just like ordinary teenaged girls and giggling a lot! It was nearly 7 o’clock by the time I reached home, having said goodbye to Claire at the bus stop. She was going one way and I was going the other. We promised to talk tomorrow and as we left each other, I smiled. It looked like I had a new best friend, like!

As I walked up to the cafe, I saw two people standing outside my front door. I had a funny feeling in my tummy and as I walked up they turned to me. One had a camera in his hand, the other a notebook.

The man with a notebook looked up, when I arrived with the key in my hand.

“Hello, love, have you seen Mark Hurst? We’d like to talk to him.”

To be continued...

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My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape.