Last night, my daughter couldn't find the little communication book she's supposed to bring home from school, but didnt admit it until we were picking up her mother. Her mother was upset, and I promised to check at my house, and I thought it was over with.

Then this morning, her mother called and started yelling at my mother for Sam not having the book, and then my mom started coming down on me for not being responsible and involved with my daughter, and I ended up getting angry myself, yelled at Sam's mother, and went back to bed.

Unfortunately, the anger went with me, and soon was trying to find another source of frustration, and it turned on God for a while.

When that didn't satisfy, there was really only one direction left - to be angry at myself.

And I have a lot to be angry at myself about.

So I sit here, with tears in my eyes, weighing myself in the balance and finding myself wanting, and feeling like the world would have been a better place if I had never been born.

I have no choice but to continue to meet my obligations, but you'll have to pardon me if the sunny attitude I've had lately is gone.

Maybe if I just keep plodding ahead long enough, it will come back, but even if it doesnt, I will carry on, so you guys dont have to worry about me doing something to end myself.

My end will come soon enough, even if its sixty years from now, and the sad thing is, no matter how bad my life gets, what comes next is worse, and will last for eternity, so I have no need to hurry my death.

Pray for me, if you're so inclined.