Today I had my first counseling session so I can transition. It went very well. I am happy that the counselor doesn't want to dwell on the past, because neither do I. I am tired of doing counseling where I relive all the past traumas of life. Let's leave it in the past where it belongs and live in the now. I am not disassociating with my past, I'm not saying it didn't exist or that it happened to the boy I am not, but I'm tired of being depressed about things. The counselor is an F2M which proves body swapping should be legalized and we can all find the body we are happy with.

My company finally left after two weeks, though I am glad to have my house to myself again I really miss them. I suppose I didn't realize how much I needed to let my secret out in "the real" world. It was so odd to open up and to be me. I must say that I was more comfortable around Tiffany than her husband Marcos. I think that may be because I've been hurt by men often in my life (when it comes to physical/sexual abuse). But I will give this for Marcos, he was accepting and told me that he and his wife loved me and wanted me to be happy.

Just keeping people updated because, quite frankly, I could use the support.

My friend is still here and i am still inching ever closer to just going full time, or at least part time with an option for overtime and vacation. It has been decided that thursday we are going for makeovers. At that time I will get a feminine hairstyle (not a unisex one that I can change back and forth). I am also contemplating getting my ears pierced. I just guess I finally got tired of putting up the facade.

I started my diet today. I know many are probably wondering why I didn't start from my last blog. Simple answer: I didn't have a fridge or a stove until yesterday afternoon. I know the first three days of the diet will be the hardest as I break old patterns, Wendy's and Checkers will miss me. I am about moved in my new place so writing should commence in a day or two.

I finalized on the house on Monday, so I am now an owner of property. I've had the plumber come out and got those little odds and ends taken care of. I also had the outside pressure washed and the yard work done. On this coming Monday, I have the exterminator coming out to deal with the termites and the spiders (ICK!!!) and all the little carpenter ants. I've had the bed and the living room delivered, so technically I can sleep there. But I still have no wires. Actually, that's a lie, I have two hundred feet of wire, it's sitting in a coil on the counter.

After a lot of conniving double-handed back stabbing that included a lot of misdirection and lying, I am saddened to announce that my mother did not steal my inheritance. She tried her best to do so, with the truth of what she was doing coming to me in the end. She did things like tell the insurance company she was my aunt's only surviving near relative (I guess nephews don't count as near relatives, but besides, my Aunt also has a surviving older brother).

Here is my thinking and maybe it will make my arrogance show. But I think God Bless the Child is still a top notch story. As we speak I have a Los Angeles artist making me a new cover so we can reintroduce the book in print. It has been edited by Wren (thank you very much) and I think it shows maybe the most realistic plight of a young trans kid out there.

Having the job that I have allows me to do a fair amount of thinking. So here is what is on my mind:

I was looking at my read count, yes I do that often, and I notice not a lot of people have ventured into my new tale "It's a fluffy, pink, Christmas Little Katie."

I think I understand why and I would like to put everyone's mind at ease.

This story is something light and magical and will contain none of the following:

1) The main character will not be abused.
2) The main character will not be kidnapped.
3) The main character will not die
4) There are no evil secondary characters
5) No Gatorade bottles were crushed in the writing of the story

There is a sadness that cannot be spoken when you are about to spend the first Christmas ever from the person who loved you from birth. We are separated by eternity and for every inch I shed another tear.

I am about to write a Christmas story, but how can I capture the joy a child feels on that day when it brings me such sorrow.

I more than understand that the things that I write are not for everyone. I tend to deal with harsh subject matter in a pretty straight-forward way that not everyone is comfortable. I get that. But know this about me, I enjoy writing what I do (not that I get some kind of perverse pleasure out of pain and suffering, but the exploring of dark emotional places that few dare to tread gives me a certain strength that allows me to confront the shit in my own life).

For those of you who wonder what I really look like, here is your chance to have a good laugh or lose your lunch.

I am currently writing my first Christmas story of the year (one that I never posted but wrote a while ago) and had a question.

The main character in the story is a 16yo transsexual and there seems to be a lot of sexual content in the middle of the story. Unfortunately the fact that the character is 16 is vital to the plot line or the easy thing to do would be to make him/her 18. Now I know in the real world sex with a minor is illegal, but in story form you see it often. My question is, would this be appropriate to put up on BC/TS

I notice, for me, poetry doesn't rack up the hits. I think I understand why. People come here to read stories. But, I wonder, is it a good idea to have a poetry only site for TG authors. The poems wouldn't have to be TG in nature, but if there were enough interest I may want to try a shot at webhosting,

I have stopped writing, I know I just posted a little while ago so people may not have noticed.

I just wanted to thank Erin (and all her other personas) for creating the atmosphere of this site. I must say, I enjoy writing and I enjoy having an audience. But this site is so different than other story sites. It is so supportive and user friendly. I know that some of what I write doesn't appeal to all (or most) but at least those that appreciate what I am trying to accomplish let me know. I posted two stories yesterday, one seems to be a hit, and the other is moving up the hit list at a leisurely pace (like usual).

For 36 years I have lived a conflicted life. I went through abuse when I was younger, but I made it through. I took up wrestling in High School and did pretty well at it. I have memories of my life as Keith that I will enjoy, but I have decided that the real, complete me must be set free. I have decided to transition, but maybe not in the way that many may think. I didn’t go out and buy a bunch of dresses (though that would be a hoot) and I didn’t start wearing makeup (I doubt I would do it correctly without practice) and I am not shouting out to the world I am trans accept me.

I was born on January 22nd 1975, the first and only son of Keith and Vivian Leonard. I was named after my father and the connection with him pretty much ended there. From what I pieced together, he left when I was 6months old. I think the very next day my mother decided that she didn't want to stick around either. So there I was, 6 months old and unwanted. Maybe not completely unwanted, because there was Aunt Rosalie, there was always Aunt Roe. She took me in and raised me the best she could. When her husband got up and left us, we took on life together.

When choosing a rating (G, PG, R) should I go by the current chapter or the work as a whole. I have most chapter's being pg, but there are a few that are X . Should I mark every chapter as X or should I go by the content of the one post.