Only Sixteen 4

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I had not been to a doctor's surgery for quite some time and as I waited with Claire to go and see the doctor, I felt a little bit nauseous and my heart was working overtime...

Only Sixteen 4

By Susan Brown

I am not a doctor or solicitor, so please forgive me if the medical and legal stuff isn't accurate. Let's face it. It's only a story. If I was a doctor or solicitor, I would be much richer than I am now!
13

All too soon we were at the surgery and we walked in.

I had not been to a doctor's surgery for quite some time and as I waited with Claire to go and see the doctor, I felt a little bit nauseous and my heart was working overtime. It was warm outside, but in the surgery, the aircon was working overtime and my arms had goose pimples.

There were a few other people there including a small boy with his mum. The boy was picking his nose and examining the contents.

Charming.

‘Are you OK?’ asked Claire.

‘A bit nervous.’

‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.’

I nodded uncertainly.

‘Will you come in with me?’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Mmm.’

‘That would be great.’

‘Emma, you can go in now,’ said the receptionist with a smile.

I stood up, smoothed down my skirt, gulped and followed Claire into the consulting room.

Dr Sullivan was sitting behind a desk, she motioned us to sit down.

She was, I would say, in her thirties and had a nice friendly face. It helped to put me at ease, slightly.

‘Hello Emma and Claire. Nice to see you again Claire.’

‘Yes, it’s been a while.’

‘We must have lunch.’

‘That would be nice.’

Claire turned to me.

‘Dr Sullivan and I were at school together and are school governors.’

That was news to me, but I was more interested in what was going to happen next.

The doctor looked at her computer and then turned to me.

‘Right Emma, your cousin Antonia contacted me to make an appointment, but because of confidentiality, she was unable to give me any indication as to what the problem is. I know that you have just moved into the area and you will be transferred to us as your doctors, but we will need to have your medical records transferred to us. Are there any prior health issues that I should be made aware of?’

‘Erm, I don’t think so, oh maybe some.’

She smiled.

‘So, how can I help you and why are your parents not with you?’

‘I…I moved away because I don’t get on with my parents.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

‘Auntie C…I mean Claire is sort of helping me.’

‘Call me Auntie Claire if you like, honey.’

I smiled, slightly tearfully.

‘Thanks, you’ve done more for me than you will ever know.’

I turned back to the doctor who was looking at me questioningly.

I took a deep breath.

‘Here we go,’ I thought.

‘W…when you look at me, what do you see?’

The doctor looked puzzled for a moment.

‘A pretty young girl. Why?’

‘According to my birth certificate, the thing between my legs, my parents and my old doctor, I’m a boy.’

With that, of course, I burst into tears.

Nothing new there!

It took a few moments to pull myself together but with the help of several tissues and hugs from Claire, I pulled myself together. I had no idea what my makeup looked like, but I assumed that my eyes resembled a panda.

Why did I wear makeup? I would never learn.

‘Feeling better?’ asked the doctor.

I nodded.

‘Right, start from the beginning and tell me all about it.’

So I did. I won’t repeat things, as I have already explained all that had happened to me.

She stopped me when I got to the pills.

‘Can I see the pills?’

I took the packet out of my shoulder bag and with a slightly shaky hand, gave them to her.

She looked at them closely and then at the leaflet inside the packet.

She sighed.

‘How long have you been taking these?’

‘About eighteen months.’

She winced.

‘There’s no point giving you a lecture about how silly you’ve been. You bought these off the internet and have no real idea what’s in them.’

‘A few of my friends on the forum say that they got good results.’

‘They are not doctors and you never know what long-term effects these pills have. Anyway, it's no good crying over spilt milk. Carry on with your story.’

So I did and eventually, after I had finished, the doctor looked at me.

‘You’ve had it a bit rough, haven’t you?’

‘Mmm.’

She looked at me for a moment.

‘I am going to have to give you a full examination. Luckily you have a double appointment and my next patient cancelled, so I have a bit more time. Go behind that screen and take everything off. There’s a paper gown there, so slip that on. Give me a call when you are ready.’

I did as I was asked. I could hear a mumbled conversation between Claire and the Doctor, but couldn’t pick up anything.

Finally, I finished and stepped out. The paper gown wasn’t exactly comfortable or fashionable and was open at the back, but I supposed that it was necessary.

‘I’ll go outside,’ said Claire standing up.

‘Please stay,’ I pleaded.

‘I would normally get the nurse in, but if you want Claire to stay, that’s fine.’

Claire sat down again.

‘Right Emma, pop up on the examination couch and let's have a look at you.

I sat there as she did things with her cold stethoscope that made me jump. Claire read a magazine whilst all this was being done.

The doctor examined my breasts closely and poked and prodded a bit, asking me to let her know if I felt any pain. It felt a bit tender and itchy around my nipples and I told her.

Then she moved to my penis area and exclaimed as she felt my sack.

‘Hmm, small undeveloped penis and your testicles are very small and hard.’

‘Is that something to do with the pills?’

‘Not sure, any pain?’

‘Sometimes. I take paracetamol, it seems to help.’

She carried on with examining the area. She squeezed my testicle sack gently and I felt a sharp pain.

‘Ouch!’

‘That hurts?’

I nodded.

‘How long have you experienced pain there?’

‘Several months.’

‘What sort of pain is it?’

‘A dull ache, but sometimes it’s a bit sharp.’

I looked over at Claire who had stopped pretending to read and was looking over with interest.

She carried on feeling around my groin area.

‘Hmm, ah, hmm.’

I didn’t like the sound of that. Had she found something nasty, maybe cancer?

She thankfully stopped her prodding and looked at me.

‘Do you have mood swings?’

‘Sometimes, I haven’t really thought about it except that I thought that my hormones may be a bit haywire.’

‘Right stand up and bend over onto the couch. This might be uncomfortable.’

I jumped slightly as she stuck a gloved finger up my bottom. It wasn’t very nice.

‘OK, sit on the couch again. I need to take some blood for testing.’

As you know, I’m not that keen on needles, being a natural-born coward, but it didn’t hurt that much and I managed to bravely avoid screaming. I expected a lollypop afterwards but was disappointed when I wasn’t given one. What was the world coming to?

After having a small plaster placed on the stab site. The doctor looked at her notes and then up at me.

‘A few personal questions. Do you have erections?’

I looked over at Claire who was now reading her magazine rather intensely. It must be a good article! I thought in passing.

‘No.’

Do you know what semen is?’

‘Yes, we did sex education at school and boys talk.’

‘Do you ever leak any semen, say into your pants?’

‘No.’ I replied, my face getting hot, ‘I don’t think so. I do get a squishy tummy when I kiss Hannah though, but no leaks. erm…oops!’

Oh God, Claire was sitting there! I daren’t look at her!

‘No wet dreams?’

‘Never.’

This was getting very embarrassing and I definitely wished now that Claire wasn’t in the room.

I looked over to her who had looked up and smiled slightly, I hoped in sympathy.

Dr Sullivan smiled.

‘Okay go and get dressed.’

I breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully, the inquisition was over.

As I dressed again, I was dreading what the doctor was going to say. Was it cancer? After all that I had gone through, that would be the last straw.

In a few minutes, I was back sitting in the chair facing the doctor and awaiting the verdict.

‘Well Emma, I have a pretty good idea of what is going on but we will need to have some further tests carried out at the hospital.’

‘Is it cancer?’ I blurted out.

‘Probably not but we need to check things out. I strongly suspect that the pills you have been taking include oestrogen and possibly other drugs. I will send them off for analysis. Blockers would not normally give you increased breast tissue or shrink your testicles. Also, your body is showing signs that you are developing more as a girl rather than a boy. Your testicles have atrophied and I’m not happy with them. I believe that they are not functioning and will have to be removed, otherwise, they may in the future become cancerous.’

‘Is that why they ache?’

‘Probably, but don’t worry, I think that we have caught this in time but if you had left things as they are for much longer, you may have had serious problems. As it is, you will likely have to have your testicles removed, but I doubt if you would object to that.’

‘It very would be nice if they are removed, I’ve never wanted them or my penis. Can you tell me if my mood swings and crying a lot have anything to do with the pills?’

‘If, as I suspect, the pills have oestrogen and maybe progesterone in them, not to mention a few other things that might not be too good, then yes this may account for how you are feeling. I will be in a better position to know the course of action once you have completed the tests at the hospital. I will request the tests as a priority but unfortunately, due to the fallout following Covid, we may have to wait some time before we can have the tests carried out, but I want you to contact me immediately if you feel any changes down there or any lumps, bumps, aches or pains anywhere else, okay?’

All these explanations made me feel a bit better, but not much. I was quite concerned about the delays due to that terrible Pandemic. There were too many unanswered questions for my liking. And as for the big C… I didn’t want to go there.

‘As for your gender problems,’ continued the doctor, ‘It is obvious to me that you consider yourself as a girl and I will give you the number of a good gender dysphoria clinic, that will assess you and help you going forward. Do you intend to full transition after you are 18?’

‘Yes, as soon as I can.’

‘Well, it won’t be easy. These things never are and you have to go through a lot of hoops, but hopefully, in the end, you will get your wish. We’ll leave it there and I will let you know when your hospital appointment is. It’s urgent so I expect some things to happen soon, however, I don’t know how soon. The waiting lists are getting horrendous. Any other questions?’

‘No, but will you give me any blockers?’

‘I don’t think that they are needed now as you appear to have testicles that don’t have any functionality, but we can review things after your hospital tests. Now, are you sure that you don’t want your parents to be involved in your decisions?’

‘Never.’

‘I understand, I know it’s difficult. Well, my next appointment is due, so I’ll probably see you next week after the tests. Please do not take any pills that you obtain from the internet.’

With that warning, we left.

As we drove to the college, I had a lot to think about.

‘How do you think it went at the doctor's, Emma?’

‘It was nice that she was so sympathetic, but I’m worried about the hospital tests and the gender clinic.’

‘I don’t think that you need to worry too much about cancer. Doctor Sullivan is a very good doctor and knows her stuff. If she says that she doesn’t think it’s cancer then it almost certainly isn’t. She used to be a cancer specialist in London. As for the gender clinic, you must have known that you would have to go through the hoops to get what you want.’

‘I know, I have read a lot about what I will have to go through. I can’t say that I look forward to it though.’

‘Don’t worry about it now. Let’s go and have a coffee and cake.’

14

We sat in the coffee shop and I had a hot chocolate and creamy cake as I thought that coffee might make me feel even more hyper than I was at the moment. Claire rang the college whilst we were in the coffee shop and made arrangements for us to pop in and see the admissions officer about a possible place. It would be in the next hour. Not long but the college was evidently only a twenty-minute drive away.

I had printed out details of my education qualifications, just in case my online application forms hadn’t been processed. I also had a letter and a copy of the deed poll from Antonia explaining my name change.

I was almost as nervous about the college as I was about visiting the doctor's surgery, but it had to be done.

It was quite a large campus and the car park was a bit full. We eventually parked up and walked towards the large rather impressive main building. Claire knew it well as she was one of the student governors, which was handy for me as I thought that it might help me with getting into college.

The lady in reception pointed the way to the admissions office and soon we were sitting opposite a lady with the name of Penny Snodgrass of all names.

She was, I suppose, in her fifties and had a bright, welcoming smile.

‘Nice to see you both. Emma, is it?’

‘Yes,’ I replied.

‘You would like to join us, I hear?’

‘Yes, if that’s possible.’

‘Have you any paperwork?’

I passed over everything I thought that she might need.

‘I haven’t had time to look over your online application, can you give me a few minutes?’

‘Yes,’ I replied.

‘I tell you what, why don’t you both get yourself a coffee or something? Go out of this door, turn left and it’s at the end of the corridor, you can’t miss it. Give me twenty minutes then come back, OK?’

We both nodded and left her to it.

The café was bright and airy and the cola was refreshing. The Danish pastry was something that I just couldn’t resist!

There were only a few people in the café, and we found a seat by a window that overlooked the campus. I liked the feel of the place and I hoped that I would be accepted. Evidently, it had a good reputation and of course, Hannah was a student, not that that influenced me in any way!

Soon, it was time to go back to the admissions office and we were soon sitting opposite Penny Snodgrass.

‘Right Emma,’ she said, ‘I’m now up to date with things how they are with you. You are sixteen and live in a cottage in Porthlowen. I understand that you moved away from home a few days ago. Can I ask why you decided to leave home?’

I gulped, I hadn’t elaborated about that on my application and hoped that it could have been overlooked.

‘My parents and I never got on. I suffered a lot from mental cruelty. I was never hit, but it was bad, very bad. I had to go as soon as it was legally possible and thanks to my grandmother, I’ve been able to move down here to begin my new life.’

‘Okay, fair enough. Now you were brought up as a boy although you consider yourself to be a girl, hence the name change and appearance.’

‘Yes.’

‘If you don’t mind me saying, you look lovely. Now, are you under a doctor's supervision?’

‘Yes, I am now.’

‘Claire, do you vouch for Emma?’

‘Yes, I do. I knew her grandmother well and knew of Emma’s problems quite some time ago. She’s a lovely girl and is a very close friend of my daughter, who is a student here, as you know.’

‘Emma, why do you think that you will do well here?’

‘Because I want the best education possible and be able to fulfil my dream job.’

‘Which is?’

‘I want to go to medical school and then be a doctor.’

She looked pleasantly surprised.

‘Is that why the subjects you have chosen are chemistry, biology and physics?’

‘Yes.’

I had always wanted to be a doctor. I have no idea when the idea came into my head, but it had stuck with me through thick and thin. I had looked into it and saw how difficult an ambition it was. One of the reasons why I had pushed myself with my education, despite having parents who couldn’t care less about me, was that I wanted to help others and being a doctor was something that I dreamed about. My continuing education was all about that dream.

‘You will need to be on top of your game to get the qualifications but we would do all that we can to help you.’

She looked at her screen, typed a few words and then turned back to me, smiling.

‘I think that we can offer you a place, subject to certain checks that we have to do, which include contacting your previous school. We will not, however, discuss with other parties anything of a personal nature without your permission. We have equal opportunities and non-discrimination policies at our college. We also have several gender-neutral toilets. We also have an LGBT-plus support group at the college. I can’t say that you will never experience problems, but we have a good record of dealing with those problems satisfactorily.’

I did wonder what my old school would think about being informed of my apparent change of sex, but I would worry about that later. Maybe Antonia could help with that?

‘One thing,’ she continued, ‘you are late to join the college this term and your peers will be ahead of you. Subject to the approval of your tutors, I believe that it would be best if you start properly next term with the new set of students, that way you would not be disadvantaged. We have had students in a similar position to you regarding coming in late for studies. For the moment, you will be allocated a tutor who will arrange some foundation studies so that you can get up and running for next term. You will be tested to assess your level of education from your previous school. Also, it means that you can use all the facilities available at the college and attend some lectures that will give you a feel of how things work around here. Does that suit you?’

‘That would be great,’ I replied,

We all stood up and Ms Snodgrass shook our hands.

‘Welcome to our college, Emma. It will take a few days to sort things out. I will email you details of the courses that you wish to study, timetables and other useful information. Looking at the schedules, you could start on Monday of next week if that’s acceptable.’

‘Yes, that would be great!’

‘Your new tutor will probably want to speak to you via Zoom at some stage, would that be okay?’

‘Of course.’

‘She’ll contact you directly about that to make arrangements. In the meantime, I’ll email the confirmation of your acceptance and hopefully see you on Monday. See you then.’

With that, we left and I was on a bit of a high. I wasn’t used to things going so well for me and hoped that my worries were now in the past. I still had health problems though, so I wouldn’t get too cocky!

‘Well,’ said Claire as we walked back to the car, ‘you’re a dark horse. I didn’t know that you wanted to be a doctor.’

‘Yes, it’s something I always wanted to be since I was small. I don’t know why, but it feels like the right thing to do for me.’

‘You do know that your grandma was a doctor?’

‘Was she? She never said.’

‘She was a very good GP evidently.’

As we were in Penzance and it was close to lunchtime, Claire treated me to lunch in a nice restaurant in the harbour. It was old-fashioned pub fare and my steak pie was wonderful!

After that, we went into a few shops and Claire bought herself a jumper. I had more clothes than ever now so I wasn’t that interested in anything new but then I saw a dress, “the dress”. I sighed; it was a lovely red midi dress.

How can I describe it? It was a cold shoulder V-neck solid dress It was the sort of dress that you would wear at a posh party. Claire looked at me.

‘You like it?’

‘I love it!’

‘It’s in the sale.’

‘When will I wear it?’

‘Hannah sometimes goes out with her friends to some nice places. She loves to dress up.’

‘Shall I try it on?’

‘If you like it, why not?’

I didn’t take much persuasion and soon I went into the changing room and slipped into it. I was admiring myself in the mirror and thinking it looked very nice.

I went outside to show Claire.

‘Oh, Emma it’s so pretty and so are you.’

I went into the red-face routine that I was sure was redder than the dress!

‘You do need shoes though…’

So I bought the dress and then we searched for red shoes that would go with it. High heels, I evidently had to have them and nothing else would do.

I wasn’t used to heels with any height and it was laughable as I walked or tried to walk up and down the shop floor. I was assured by Claire that I would soon get used to them. I wasn’t so sure but went with the flow and bought them, together with a handbag, red, of course!

My bank card had certainly taken a hit lately, but as we walked back to the car, I felt that it was money well spent.

It didn’t take long to arrive back home. As we pulled into her drive, I turned to her.

‘Thank you so much, Auntie Claire, for coming with me.’

Well, she did say that I could call her Auntie; we were related and I needed all the family I could get!

She smiled warmly.

‘I think that it’s nice having a niece and it’s nice having quality time with you!’ Do you want to come in for a drink?’

‘No, if it’s all right with you, I want to go home and send a few texts.’

‘Do you want to come for tea tonight?’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course, I wouldn’t ask otherwise.’

‘OK, what time?’

‘About 6?’

‘Great, see you then.’

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

‘Bye.’

‘Bye, hon.’

As I walked up my path I was smiling. Things went better than I could have hoped.

I unlocked the door and was soon in my kitchen with a mug of tea and a chocolate biscuit.

My phone rang.

It was an unknown number.

‘Hello?’

‘Chris?’

It was my brother.

‘What do you want?’

‘I want to know where the hell you are. Mum and Dad have been bending my ear about you, you ungrateful bugger.’

‘Go away and don’t call me again.’

I ended the call and immediately blocked any unknown number calls.

I would have to change my phone and quickly. I was paranoid that somehow they could trace me via my phone.

My brother didn’t sound concerned about me, just annoyed. Nothing new there.

The call put a bit of a damper on my day. The last people I wanted to talk to was my old family. Yes, I considered them my old family. If it was possible and there was a law for it, I would divorce the lot of them just like you can with marriage.

I was annoyed with myself. I should have put a block on all unknown numbers.

One good thing was that the family didn’t know where I was living now. The last thing I wanted was for them to find me. I knew that they didn’t care for me, but they would come after me just to make my life a misery.

It was a concern for me that my parents might want to trace me and cause me trouble. I knew that they did not love or want me, but I felt very insecure about them. I just wanted to forget them and start leading my own life and making my own decisions. I also felt that if they knew about Grandma giving me the cottage, a cottage that they had no idea Grandma owned, they might want to contest my ownership of it.

I was so worried, I texted Antonia.

Hi Antonia,
Can you ring me when you have time?
Hugs,
Emma xxxx

I finished my drink and biscuit and went upstairs to put the things I bought away.

I put my dress away in the wardrobe. I couldn’t wait to wear it. What a change from horrible boy clothes!

I took my new red shoes out of the box and looked at them. The heels were high, well high for me anyway. I was told that they were 7cm. When I tried them on in the shop they felt a lot higher than that and I staggered about like I was drunk. How could girls wear 10cm heels or more without falling over?

I would have to wear them a bit to get used to them. Let’s face other girls can wear them without toppling over so why can’t I?

It was great that the shoes matched my dress and the clutch bag with a gold chain matched too!

Maybe Hannah and I could go somewhere posh so that I could dress up and look lovely and sophisticated?

I laughed.

Who was I kidding? I was a 16-year-old with no real experience of the outside world. I was no sophisticated or glamorous beauty. As long as I looked nice and not mutton-dressed up as lamb as Grandma used to say, I would be happy.

My phone rang, well peeped really. I went to answer it with trepidation. I didn’t want another Tommy moment.

Looking at the screen, I saw that it was Antonia.

‘Hi Antonia.’

‘Hello Emma, how are things.’

‘Great…’

I told her about how things had gone that day and then I turned to my little problem.

‘I had a phone call from my brother. He was abusive, as usual, and I’d like to know where I stand. I think that he would have been put up to calling me from my parents as he couldn’t care less about me normally.’

‘Well Emma, your position is a bit difficult. Until you are 18 the law says that your parents have a say in your life. However, you have a certain amount of independence and if things got so bad that you went to court over it, the court would take your circumstances and wishes into consideration. They would also take account of the fact that you and your family do not get on. It can be argued that you have suffered from mental cruelty from a young age, although that can sometimes be difficult to prove. All in all, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.’

‘Is there anything I can do to get them off my back?’

Antonia thought for a moment.

‘Right, this is what we can do. Firstly, you have the right to have your own solicitor. Would you like me to be your solicitor?’

‘I thought you were already.’

‘No, I’m assisting you regarding your cottage as a trustee. If you want me to be your solicitor, I will do that for you.’

‘You would?’

‘Of course, but I would have to charge you.’

I didn’t like the sound of that, solicitors can be expensive.

‘Erm, how much do you charge?’

She laughed.

‘Family rates at £1 per day’s work.’

‘Phew!’

‘So, do you want me to be your solicitor?’

‘Yes please!’

‘Right, I will email you a consent form, digitally sign it and send it back to me. Now regarding the problems with your family, if you wish, I will send them a letter stating that you do not wish to have any contact and that any communication or access should be through me. Does that suit you?’

‘That would be great!’

‘If they persist or try to contact you, I could threaten them with a harassment order. That normally does the trick.’

‘That’s a weight off my mind.’

‘Good, I’ll set things in motion. Was there anything else?’

‘No, that’s it. Thanks for helping me out. You’re a lovely person.’

‘And so are you Emma. When I get time, I’ll come and visit you. It’s a lovely part of the world. Anyway, I have to go back to work now. I’ll speak to you soon. Bye.’

‘Goodbye and thanks again.’

‘No problem.’

I breathed a sigh of relief after putting the phone down. Maybe I could now relax a bit more!

15

I decided that I would just change my SIM rather than the phone as my phone wasn’t that old. I went down to the village and into a shop that sold virtually everything and was also the post office.

The sun was still quite hot and I bought a sort of wide-brimmed straw sun hat in the shop also the new SIM and because it was hot, a choc ice lolly.

I sat down on a seat overlooking the harbour and sucked at the lolly. The hat was nice and it kept the sun off my head and looked pretty nice.

I had just finished my lolly and was wondering what to do next…

‘Hello.’

I looked up and there was erm?

‘Hi, Sophie?’

She laughed and plopped down beside me.

‘No, I’m the pretty one, Stephanie.’

I giggled nervously. Last time I had seen Stephanie I had thrown a wobbly and had run off.

‘Can I sit?’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Look Emma, sorry my mad sister and I upset you. We didn’t mean to.’

‘It was me. I’m a bit fragile at the moment.’

‘Can I ask why?’

I looked at her. She looked kind.

‘Let’s face it,’ I thought, ‘It will all come out eventually and the twins go to the same college as I will be joining too. I can’t hide who and what I am.’

I would tell her. I hoped that she wouldn’t be judgemental. If I found too much opposition as to who I was, I would just have to move away and try to find somewhere that would accept me.

So, with a sigh and a lot of trepidation, I told her everything.

I wasn’t looking at her as I explained what had happened to me. I was looking out across the harbour to the sea. I didn’t want to see her expression. I wondered if she had a look of horror or pity on her pretty face. As I continued my story I heard a few ooh’s and aah’s and the occasional sniff. Did she have a cold or hay fever?

Eventually, I finished my story and I still didn’t look at her but at a seagull that had just nabbed a chip from a little girl sitting on the next bench with her mother. The kid was balling her eyes out. I knew how she felt.

Stephanie sniffed again and blew her nose. It sounded a bit like a trumpet.

‘So, what do you think? I understand if you don’t want to know me,’ I asked turning to her.

She’d been crying. I didn’t know why.

‘What's wrong?’ I asked.

‘Oh come here!’

She hugged me fiercely and for some reason, I started crying again.

Can you imagine boys doing that? Even if they wanted to cry, it wasn’t a cool or manly thing to do, even in private. I lost count of the times when I lived at home when I just wanted to have a good cry but couldn’t because I knew the reaction I would have from my parents and brother in particular.

Somehow it was very freeing to be able to show my emotions and not bottle it all up.

A few moments later, we had pulled ourselves together. I don’t know what others on the quay were thinking about us, but I didn’t care as it seemed that I had found another friend.

‘Oh Emma, your family seem like, you know, terrible. How could they treat someone as nice as you like that?’

‘Well, Mum had issues…’

‘Yea, but she shouldn’t have taken her problems out on you and the rest of your family sound like they are the pits.’

She had a colourful turn of phrase.

She looked at me closely.

‘We need the loo.’

‘Why?’

‘Panda eyes. I bet mine look weird.’

I had to agree, if I looked anything like her, emergency repairs were needed.

There were public toilets at the end of the quay. They were quite new, which was good, but we had to pay 20 pence to get in. It should have been 20p each but she held the door open for me and a few others to slip through.

Did that make me a criminal?

This was the first time that I had used a ladies' public toilet. It was similar to the men’s without the urinals and that certain smell…

It was also clean, which was nice.

Looking at my face in the mirror, I wasn’t a pretty sight. It was a good job that I had brought a few things with me to repair the damage.

It felt strange standing there re-doing my makeup. I wasn’t the only one. Stephanie was next to me and another, older woman was also standing there refreshing her lippy. It all seemed so natural and normal and I loved it!

After repairing our faces, we went to a quayside café and ordered cokes.

Sitting outside, it was nice watching the world go by. It was strange what outlandish clothes some holidaymakers wore. We were nowhere near Hawaii, so why were there so many of those glary shirts and shorts?

I looked at Steph, she was sucking the coke up her straw and it was a bit noisy.

‘So,’ I asked, ‘you don’t mind my erm having boy bits?’

‘Why should I? I haven’t got them, thank goodness, and you don’t want them, so what’s the problem?

‘How do you think it will be at college?’

‘About you?’

‘Yes.’

She shrugged.

‘There are always a few idiots around even in college. Things have changed a bit though. I think that ten years ago things would have been different, but now, there are a lot more people coming out as gay, trans, whatever and it’s almost normal and not in the least surprising. I think that there’s an LGBT plus whatever in the college so you can always have support from them and also your friends.’

‘Friends?’

‘Yea, like me and Soph and over course your lover girl Hannah.’

I blushed.

‘You know about that?’

‘Of course, it’s obvious and Hannah can’t stop banging on about you. She’s beginning to bore us about it!’

We both giggled. It was so nice to have friends that were so laid back.

We stayed there a bit longer, but I was feeling tired. A lot, and I mean a lot had happened to me that day and I just wanted to go home and chillax.

We said our goodbyes as Steph lived on the other side of the village to me. She gave me her mobile number.

‘I’ll text you,’ I said as I hadn’t set up my new SIM yet.

We hugged and went our separate ways.

To be continued...

Please leave comments and let me know if you want this to continue. Oh, and if you can, please do the kudo-thingie... thanks! ~Sue

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Comments

A lot happened in one day

Maddy Bell's picture

Must be one of those with extra hours lol!

Guess we have to wait for more now


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Madeline Anafrid Bell

Of course I do

Christina H's picture

This is my answer to your question I just can't wait for the next chapter

Christina

So far so good

Podracer's picture

What I can't fathom yet, is why "Chris' " parents would bother to pursue a child that they don't want? I can only think of 2 things, one is the shame of having a runaway, the other is they think there's money in it somewhere. Whatever it is, Emma is well out of their hands and should stay that way. She is finding her own family, and testosto-bro should mind his own business.
Oh yeah - and keep those ears clean!

"Reach for the sun."

Motivations

Xtrim's picture

I hadn’t considered shame or greed. From a parent’s perspective, I had thought guilt especially when you consider the conversation Emma overheard when she was 14. Perhaps I’m being a little bit optimistic. The brother’s actions though, are completely in character as that’s the way he was brought up and not quite mature enough to even realize how wrong it was.

Xtrim

Jerks

Some people are just assholes and feel it's their responsibility to 'keep' what's they think of as theirs, despite them not caring about that thing or person. I've seen it in my family as well as others personally and it just plain sucks. Sometimes the very idea of a person changing is offensive to them and they'll do whatever they can to stop that change (whatever the change may be, gender, sexuality, who they're dating, doesn't matter).

Somehow I don’t think……

D. Eden's picture

That Emma has heard the last from her family. They seem like the kind of people who simply can’t stand, or understand, the fact that Chris would not want to be with them. And they definitely will not be OK with “Chris” really being Emma; they have already made that obvious.

Based on her brother, it’s obvious that the prick didn’t fall far from the dickhead tree.

I also agree that once they find out about the cottage and that Emma’s grandmother gave it to her, that they will be after getting possession and control over it and Emma. People like that are pretty much the same all over the world. I know, I have a few relatives like that.

Looking forward to seeing more!

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Lovely story

I am looking forward to the next one, thanks for sharing your story.

Robyn Adaire

Enjoying the story

Yes, I'm still enjoying it. I love how the circumstances surrounding Emma's life fall into place to enable the narrative to carry the plot. As always there's got to be an issue or development (Emma's brother and Family) to give the strory some spice or tension. But this of course is what makes the story soo-oo readable.

Thanks for the delight,
Beverly.

bev_1.jpg

Please do ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... continue. I'm a yank and frankly scared at the direction the US seems headed with the Trump Republicans and small c christians wanting to take away rights from everyone who isn't them; they are Orwell's 1984 39 years late. If your story is accurate it sounds a bit better in the UK.
Hugs, Jezzi
PS - if this comment is too political, I won't mind if you powers-that-be trash it.

BE a lady!

Too political?

Unfortunately, too true.

Political

Well if that is what they are doing, then it is not political. I doubt even they would deny it actually, they are proud of it. The cisgendered folks in that party that support it is not a big surprise. It is those log cabin Republicans be they the gay or trans types that support it will forever baffle me. Folks like Caitlyn Jenner who is still a proud Republican ... I just don't know anymore.

Misery Loves Company

joannebarbarella's picture

I've seen it. Some people cannot bear somebody else having something that they don't, so they have to try pulling them back down to their level.

Emma's old family fit into that category. They will surely contest her rights to the cottage, but she has a solicitor now.

Delighted...

Lucy Perkins's picture

That another chapter of this story has come out. This one is fast joining the ranks of my favourites, along with many of your others!!
I am particularly pleased that, at the moment at least, you have painted the Sixth Form College in a positive light. My niece went to a Sixth Form College a decade ago now,and they were far more open minded, accomodating and welcoming to a transgender friend of hers than the rest of society. ( And by "they" I mean the students as well as the staff and the administration).
Please please carry on with this story.
Lucy xx

"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."