The Blue Dress - Part 7

by MonicaS

Copyright © 2021 Monica S.

Chris got bullied for being girly and was forced to wear a dress at school. To avoid the bullies, he started to live as a girl with support from friends and official recognition. Chris found some allies to fight the bullies and had some first successes. Besides that, Chris found a girlfriend and made plans for a Halloween costume. Chris' gender identity was another topic to address.

* * *

Tuesday morning, I was looking into my closet for an outfit. My limited amount of female clothing meant I had worn most of what's suitable for school already. I chose my self-cut jeans shorts and paired them with black pantyhose and my stiletto heeled ankle boots. As I didn't have to walk to school anymore, I could get away with them. A t-shirt and a suit jacket completed the look.

When I arrived at school, there were a group of Mark's goons standing in front of the school. I looked around and saw Oliver, the new freshman member of the protection pact, nearby.

"Hi Oliver, can you cover me?" I asked. "I want to talk to some bullies and would like some backup."

"Um, sure," he replied.

So I went to the group of three boys who had helped Mark bullying me. I had phys ed together with them, so I knew their names.

"Hi guys," I greeted them. "I'd like to talk to ..."

Aaron, the smallest of the three, stepped into my personal space and said, "Fuck off, bitch."

I backed away involuntarily as he was still taller than me in my high heels, but then I caught myself and stood my ground. "I want to have a civil conversation with you," I said.

"I don't want to talk to you though, you little snitch."

"Is that your problem? I'm not the only one Mark bullied. Some people finally reported Mark's unacceptable behavior, and you blame them? Mark brought this on himself."

"And we're next? You'll see what'll happen then."

"I'm not after you, but I want you to stop bullying. Aaron, Donald, Kevin, you all know you're hurting people. You got away with it because people didn't bother or were afraid to say something. But that is over now. I'm not alone anymore, I found many allies, and we're watching you. Now I want you to think about it, is feeling superior worth the consequences? Do you really want to follow in Mark's footsteps and get suspended too, or worse?"

Donald and Kevin looked down and seemed to think about my words. Aaron wasn't finished, though, and whispered, "You'll be alone at some point, and then we'll get you."

"You threaten to assault me? That isn't a prank anymore but serious business. Are you prepared to become a criminal? Are you sure your friends are?"

Aaron turned towards Donald and Kevin and said, "Guys, we can't let him win."

They couldn't look him into the eyes.

"Guys?" Aaron asked and seemed surprised his friends didn't back him up.

"Aaron, we don't have to be enemies," I said. "If you stop bullying, I'll forgive you all for what you've done to me. You probably did it to be friends with Mark, but is he important enough to go down with him?"

Aaron had turned back to me and was now clenching his fists. I was afraid he'd actually punch me, but he regarded Oliver next to me and seemed discouraged. Aaron turned back to the other boys and angrily said, "You wimps. He's just a little sissy. You have to back me up."

"You can't tell me what to do, Aaron," Kevin replied. "I'm sick of you playing boss while Mark is away. And Chris is right, this isn't worth it. Donald, let's go."

Kevin then went into the school building. Donald looked from Kevin to Aaron and back again and then followed Kevin. Aaron watched them leave, speechless for a moment. Then he turned to me. "This isn't over," he said and went inside too.

That went better than expected, I thought.

"Thank you, Oliver, for your support," I said.

"It was a pleasure," he replied. "I like your attitude and courage. And you have a way with words."

* * *

When I arrived at my locker, I got a shock. There were big letters written on it with a permanent marker.

GOD

HATES

FAGS

I checked if I could rub it off, but of course, it didn't work. This religious bigot went too far, and they didn't even get the facts right as I wasn't a gay boy. If I was homosexual, I was a lesbian girl. I had to report it now. So I took a picture of it, retrieved the earlier messages, and went to the school administration.

I explained everything to the secretary and gave her my evidence. She wrote everything down and said that a janitor would clean my locker, but it might take some time.

Fortunately, I arrived at school early, so I wasn't late for class, at least.

* * *

Our fashion teacher accepted that we changed our current projects to Halloween costumes. I wouldn't adhere 100% to the costume picture I found but adjusted my current project. I had started on a long-sleeved minidress design already and created self-made patterns. Now I needed to add the long skirt part, which was quite simple as it was basically a rectangle. I had to find suitable fabrics for my costume, and luckily the school had all I needed. I still would have to buy a zipper, though.

I discussed my project with the teacher, and she liked it. I still needed a pattern for the hat, and she showed me how to construct one. Additionally, she suggested millinery wire to stiffen the hat.

I roughly pinned all my pattern pieces to the bolts of cloth I had selected and cut off the parts I needed. I was finished in time to return the bolts before the class ended. I even managed to order the missing items online.

Now I had to cut the pieces and sew them together. I could do that at home too.

* * *

During phys ed, I happened to stand close to Kevin in a lul.

"Thanks, Kevin, for standing up against Aaron this morning," I said.

"I didn't do it for you," he replied. "I just don't want to get into trouble. Don't think we're friends now."

Ah well, I guess I can't convince everybody. At least Kevin stops bullying, I thought.

* * *

At lunch, our ever-growing protection pact met again. I noticed that we were split up the same way as the days before, the LGBT people on one table row, and most others on the other one. I suggested mixing up so we could share experiences and got to know each other better. Everybody agreed, and after a short while, we had shuffled around.

I still sat next to Lizzie, and we exchanged some affection, no kissing though. I told her my Mom was free in the evenings, and Lizzie suggested coming over after school to meet her. She could take me home, so I wouldn't need to arrange for somebody else to do that. Lizzie had talked to her parents too and invited me to meet them on Friday.

* * *

After school, Lizzie and I rode home on her bike. With my shorts instead of my usual skirts, I didn't have a problem showing my underwear. The trip was short enough that my lack of pant legs was no problem.

At home, we first did our homework and then watched some TV. I don't remember much of the show as we snuggled up and soon started touching and then kissing each other. Eventually, we got rid of our shirts and explored more of our bodies. It was the first time somebody besides my doctor touched my breasts. They were very sensitive, but Lizzie was gentle, and I enjoyed it very much.

Suddenly we heard Mom's car arrive and scrambled for our shirts. We got dressed in time, but our hair and makeup were a mess. So much for Lizzie making a good first impression.

"Hi Mom," I greeted her when she came in, "This is Lizzie."

"Hello, Mrs. Walker," Lizzie said and offered her hand.

"Hello, Lizzie," Mom replied and shook her hand with a smile, "I've heard a lot of you in the last few days. Hi Chris, I see you've been ... busy. You might want to freshen up."

I blushed as Mom could see what we were up to. So Lizzie and I went into my room, and I used some makeup remover to clean my girlfriend's face. I looked at her and thought how lucky I was to find her. Then I kissed her. The kissing lasted some minutes before I realized that Mom would be waiting. I then had to clean Lizzie's face again.

A few more minutes later, we were freshly styled and entered the kitchen, where Mom had started with dinner preparations. We helped her, and soon dinner was ready, and we all sat at the table to eat.

"So you are girlfriends now?" Mom asked eventually.

"I think so," I replied.

"Yes, we are," Lizzie confirmed. "We really hit it off when we started dating."

"This is all so sudden, so many changes for Chris," Mom said. "Are you sure it's not rushed?"

"We're not getting married tomorrow," my girlfriend replied and laughed. "We might discover that it's not working out in the future, but for now, it feels just right."

"I'm still not sure about your gender change, Chris," Mom said. "It only started because this boy forced you into the blue dress. I see that you're much happier now that you live as a girl, but I'm afraid that's mostly because you found friends, not because you're really a girl. And you're getting in deeper and deeper. Lizzie, as I understand it, you're a lesbian. How would you feel if Chris would return to live as a boy?"

"I ... I don't know," Lizzie replied. "It happened before. My ex-girlfriend is now living as a boy. We are still friends, but our relationship didn't survive. I don't see that with Christine, though. She's much more feminine than my ex ever was. I just can't imagine she'll go back."

"I'm determined to live as a girl," I said, "it just feels right. I think Mark did me a favor with the blue dress after all."

"What about your parents, Lizzie?" Mom asked. "How do they feel about Chris being a boy just 2 weeks ago?"

"I didn't tell them," Lizzie answered. "I don't think they'd mind as they're quite open-minded and accepted the gender change of my ex, for example, but it's for Christine to tell them if she wants to."

"I think I should tell your parents," I said. "They will hear about it anyway, and it's best if they hear it from me. I hope you're right about them not minding."

"I guess we'll have to see how things develop," Mom said. "Chris, I still think you're too impulsive and rush into situations you don't comprehend. I hope talking to your therapist on Thursday will help."

"Ah yes, I still don't know how to get there," I said, "I probably need to go by bus."

"I can take you there if you want," Lizzie offered.

"And I can take you back home," Mom said.

"Thanks." It was good that I didn't have to go by bus. It would have taken ages.

We talked a lot more. Mom was still inquisitive and asked Lizzie about her hobbies and childhood, for example. Mom was very interested in Lizzie's experience with motorbikes as I rode with her often. My girlfriend managed to mollify her, though. Eventually, Lizzie had to go home, and I said goodbye with a kiss.

* * *

On Wednesday, nothing noteworthy happened at school. Who would have thought that could be the case again.

After school, I worked on my Halloween costume. I cut all the pieces and started sewing. The items I ordered were still missing, so I couldn't complete the dress, but it was enough for a first try-on. It needed some adjustments, but that had to wait for another day.

* * *

Thursday morning, Mark was back at school and stood near the entrance when I arrived. His court was smaller though, at least Kevin and Donald were missing. His eyes were glued on me when I approached. I expected anger because I caused his suspension, but I think I detected lust instead. Perhaps my outfit helped. I was dressed in a short skirt, black patterned pantyhose, and high heels with a low-cut shirt and my leather jacket on top. Additionally, I had improved my makeup over the last two weeks. I might have lusted after myself.

I was in a daring mood and decided to up the ante. When I was close to Mark's group, I let my purse slip from my shoulder. With an "Oops," I turned my back to them and bent over to pick my purse up. I knew I showed a lot of leg, but my skirt wasn't that short that my panties should show. And even if they did, I wore black panties so nothing would be visible.

I got some catcalls even though they all knew I was male under my clothes. I turned towards them and posed, showing off my cleavage.

"Hi guys," I said in my most feminine voice. "I'm such a ditz. You didn't see anything, did you?"

I ignored their comments and strutted into the building.

"Hey Chris," I heard Jamie call me from behind and waited for her.

"Hi Jamie," I greeted her when she reached me.

"Hi Chris, I saw what you did there," she said. "Are you sure it's a good idea to tease them like that? They might think it's an invitation to come on to you or worse."

"They won't bully me then, at least."

"You don't have much experience with boys as a girl yet. It can get nasty if they like you too much, especially with the jock types. Often they don't take no for an answer."

"But why would they want anything from me? I still have a male body after all," I said.

"Oh girl, don't you know how hot you are? Some will certainly ignore or forget that fact. Didn't you see how they looked at you?"

"Yeah, especially Mark. I thought that it would be better that he's hot for me than for him to want to hit me."

"Be careful. With Mark, you never know what he'll do," Jamie warned me.

"So should I dress down now?"

"No, but don't tease them intentionally."

"Hmm, okay."

We went to our lockers then. My locker stood out now as it was cleaner than the others after the slur from Tuesday was removed. When I opened it I found a new printed message on a piece of paper though.

I'll exact GOD's vengeance if you don't stop in your sinful ways.

"Is that a threat?" I asked Jamie.

"Looks like it to me, but what would they do?"

"Hmm, until now, they only acted on my locker, either put messages in there or on the door."

"They could put something nasty in there," Jamie said.

"Perhaps. That could ruin my books. I better take them home."

"That'll be quite a hassle. You could put the books into plastic bags. But then again, you won't know when it'll be over."

"Hmm, the messages arrived every other school day, always before fashion class. So they must have placed them either early in the morning or after classes. After classes would be risky because somebody could be left, so I bet on mornings. Monday morning would be the next time if they keep the pattern. I'll try to be here when the doors get opened so I can catch them."

"You want to do it alone? What if they get physical? Hmm, I could be here early too," Jamie offered.

"You want to help me? That would be nice."

I rearranged the contents of my locker to make it less susceptible to icky stuff, just in case I was wrong about the timing. Then we went to the first class of the day.

* * *

When I walked to phys ed, Mark and Aaron happened to be in the hallway in front of the locker rooms. Mark turned towards me, probably because he heard the distinct sound of my high heels. He had the lustful gaze again and followed my every move.

After I passed them, I heard Aaron say, "Damn Mark, get Chrissy out of your head. He's a dude."

In the gym, I caught Mark staring at me quite often too. I wondered if Mark was sexually obsessing about me now. The thought about him doing anything about it made me shudder. I should heed Jamie's warning and hoped Mark didn't want to make me his girlfriend.

* * *

At lunch, Mark and his friends sat down at the table next to mine, so that he had a good view of me. This was getting creepy, he never sat in our corner. Fortunately, I was surrounded by my friends with Lizzie next to me. I decided not to let Mark get into my head and ignored him. I displayed my affection towards Lizzie just like before, even gave her a little kiss. Perhaps that would show him I was taken already.

On the protection pact, we discussed project Xavier. The bully wasn't deterred by our multiple interferences. So we decided that all who had witnessed his bullyings would report them the next morning so that the school administration could hopefully stop him. We had new members who pointed out additional bullies we would have to watch. On the other hand, our members experienced less bullying because they were not alone anymore, and most bullies only acted on single targets.

Additionally, we decided to go public, to create flyers with a description of our protection pact and the contact info. Anne would print them, and we'd start distributing them on Friday.

* * *

After school, I rode home with Lizzie. Once we were home, I set an alarm for my therapy session. We started doing our homework and were nearly finished when I said something wrong, and Lizzie laughed a bit.

"So you think that's funny? Let's see how you like this," I said and started tickling her. I found out she was really ticklish, and she howled with laughter.

"Stop, stop," she pleaded.

"Make me stop."

Then Lizzie started to kiss me. That actually did the trick as my hands found better things to do. The kisses escalated, and we lost track of time. Eventually, we were interrupted by the alarm.

I was still (mostly) dressed in my school outfit, so I changed into more appropriate clothes for a long bike ride, which meant jeans and trainers. Then we had to fix our hair and remove our makeup. Perhaps I should invest in kissproof lipstick and waterproof mascara.

"Damn, we don't have enough time to redo my makeup," I said. "Now I'll look like a boy."

"Look into the mirror again," Lizzie replied and laughed. "Can you see a boy in there? I can't."

"Hmm, okay, I guess with my long hair I can pass as a girl without makeup. But I'm not looking good without it."

"You are beautiful no matter what."

"You're just saying that because you watch me through rose-tinted glasses," I said.

"Well, perhaps a bit. But seriously, you don't need makeup to look good even if you look even better with makeup."

I couldn't do anything about it now anyway. So we put our jackets and helmets on and rode to the therapist. We arrived just in time. I kissed Lizzie as a thank-you, without danger of smeared makeup this time, and she was on her way home.

I went inside the building and was greeted by a receptionist who handled the paperwork. When we were finished, she sent me into a room with a desk with a computer on it, a big bookcase, and two armchairs around a small table. A man in his forties sat at the desk and stood up when I entered.

"Hello, my name is John Parker," the therapist introduced himself, "and you are Christine Walker? How do you want to be addressed?"

"Hello Mr. Parker, Chris is fine," I replied.

We sat down at the table, and Mr. Parker explained how he worked and assured confidentiality, even towards my mother.

"I'll ask you some questions to get an idea about your situation," the therapist said. "Your mother told me that you identify as a boy. Since when do you think of yourself as a boy?"

"Hmm, since I know the difference between boys and girls."

"But you live as a girl?"

"Yes," I answered.

"You dress quite androgynously. Do you try to express your gender identity that way?"

I looked down on myself and noticed that I actually wore quite boyish clothes. "Well, usually I wear something unambiguous now. I didn't have much time when I dressed and didn't think about it."

"When did you start to dress that way?"

"Two weeks ago."

"How did people react to it?" Mr. Parker asked.

"All my friends and most others at school accept it. Even the bullies don't say much because of the anti-discrimination rules. It went much better than I expected."

"Ah, that's good. Not all trans persons have a positive experience when they come out. Do you experience gender dysphoria?"

"I'm not sure if I understand that term correctly," I answered.

"Gender dysphoria means distress about wrong body parts, or because you are misgendered or not seen as the gender you identify as. Do you have any negative emotions in that direction?"

"Actually, no. But I do feel better now. I like my new clothes and the role change."

"Hmm, that's rare for transgender people," the therapist elaborated. "Most of my clients have gender dysphoria of some sort, which causes the desire to change. So what prompted your change?"

"Actually, it was that somebody at school forced me into a dress."

"How did you feel about it?"

"I was teased about being a girl before," I replied. "The bullies wanted to make me a laughingstock, and I was afraid of them. To escape it, I did the whole role reversal. And it worked, thanks to the support from the girls."

"I don't know if I understand that correctly, but it sounds like some sort of catharsis. You said you identified as a boy long before. Did you never feel the need to express that before?"

"I don't know what you mean. I always dressed as a boy."

"Huh? Then what did you change?" Mr. Parker asked and seemed confused.

"I dress as a girl now." Duh, that's the whole reason I'm here, I thought.

"Wait a minute. Were you born as a boy or as a girl?"

"As a boy."

"Oh no," the therapist said and laughed. "I thought the whole time you were changing from girl to boy. Okay, let me get this straight. You were living as a boy without any gender issues until two weeks ago?"

"Well, I might have been a bit girly, but basically yes."

"And then somebody forced you into a dress, and you started to live as a girl?"

"Yes."

"But you still identify as a boy?"

"Well, that is the crux," I answered. "I know that I'm physically a boy, at least mostly."

"Mostly?"

"I have gynecomastia, so I have some breast growth. Actually, that might have an influence on my self-image. Anyway, I like living as a girl, the clothes, the friendship with other girls, everything. I even have a lesbian girlfriend. I have no problem being seen as a girl. I go by Christine now, changed my name at school. On the other hand, I cringe when somebody calls me Christopher now. So am I really a boy still?"

"Chris, you seem comfortable in your role as a girl. That is what I saw when you entered, even in your gender-neutral clothes. Together with the info I had that caused me to think you were transitioning female to male. Sorry for that," Mr. Parker said.

"No harm done."

"The question of your gender identity can only be answered by yourself. I can only provide hints and questions so you can get a clear understanding. Basically, where you're at is the difference between a crossdresser, somebody who dresses in female clothes but sees himself as a man, and a trans woman, somebody born male but identifying as a woman. There is also the possibility of being non-binary, to identify neither fully as a man nor a woman. So it's not clear cut, but there are multiple valid reasons for you to dress and live as a girl, so there's nothing wrong with that. More important than this is that you're happy. Do you understand this?"

"Yes, I think so," I answered.

"You might change in how you feel about all this, and that's valid too. It's probably all very new and exciting for you at the moment, but that won't last. So listen to your needs and don't accept pressure to stay as you are now. I know it's not always easy with expectations from your school environment, friends, and especially your girlfriend, but in the long run, you have to do what makes you happy. I'd say feel free to experiment, but in our society, that can backfire. So I'll say, feel free to experiment within reason. There are many ways how you can express your gender."

"Okay. I feel fine as I am right now. Well, actually, I feel better with more feminine clothes and makeup. Bigger breasts would be nice."

"That is fine too, but don't give in to the unrealistic beauty standards created by Instagram and co. You don't need any makeup to be a girl. You're pretty just as you are, which is actually quite astonishing. You don't take any hormones, do you?" The therapist asked.

"No, but I have a low testosterone level. That probably makes me look quite feminine."

"Okay, I don't want to worry you, but that might change. Did you talk with your doctor about hormones?"

"Yes, he explained my options. He wants your okay before giving me female hormones, though," I said.

"I can understand that you're eager to get hormones, but they have permanent consequences. I'd like you to settle down and get a clear image of your future before deciding on hormones. You seem to manage fine without the help of hormones, so I hope you're okay with that."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"So, do you have any questions?" Mr. Parker asked.

"Perhaps you can explain more about gender identities."

So he did that. It was more complicated than I thought, and I had to think about how I fit in. I still couldn't decide, but I had a better idea now. I knew I wanted to continue on my current path and that it was okay.

Eventually, the session came to an end, and I scheduled the next session in four weeks. A few minutes after I left, Mom picked me up, and I told her what I had learned on the way home.

I still had to figure out my gender identity, but that wasn't so urgent. I had more pressing topics like meeting Lizzie's parents on Friday or the self-defense course the following weekend.

* * *

To be continued

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