"Sex & Death: In That Order"
a Transgendered Erotic Horror Comedy... No, Really.
///// Chapter One
///// "Long Oak Lodge"
"What!? Why are my arms strapped to the bed?"
"They are there for your safety."
"My safety? I don't even know where I am or who you are, and you're telling me this is for my benefit?"
"You're in the Providence Medical Center in Portland Oregon because you were in an accident. As such, I have just a few questions for you."
"Who are you? Are you a cop?"
"Just a few questions, Mr. Anderson. Now, how many friends were up at the cabin with you?"
"Um, there were seven of us up there? Where are they, I need to..."
"Their names, Mr. Anderson."
"Let me see... Harris, Sean, Steven, Andrew, Jeremy and Justin. Now, can I please just..."
"How long have you seven known each other?"
"We we're all in Cub Scouts together, so we've known each other for almost 15 years. This was the first time that we've all gotten together since Graduation, to go up to Long Oak Lodge."
"Who's idea was it to go to the Lodge?"
"It was... I got the call from... God, I'm having a hard time remembering that."
"That's okay, probably just a lapse due to your trauma. Now, can you tell me what happened when you arrived Long Oak Lodge?"
"Well, the roads up Mt. Hood were pretty bad, and we had to stop and chain up even in Steven's Navigator. Once we got up to the lodge we had to dig through the snow to reach the front door, and we we're all pretty worried about there being no power..."
"Holy shit, the light's are on," Marc said as he entered the large room. It was your typical lodge setting with large exposed logs making up the walls, only there were modern finished like a large OLED television on the wall and a bar with blue LED lighting underneath. Marc shook the snow from his boots and threw his luggage against the wall. "Wow, this place is really nice," he said as he took it all in.
"I know, right?" Justin added as he stepped inside. Marc couldn't help but notice that Justin was noticeably shivering, probably due to the fact that he was as thin as a bean pole.
"Come on, get inside," Marc said as he helped his friend with his things.
"Thanks, Marc, you're the best."
"I am," Marc said with a laugh as the two friends began looking around the Living Room.
"Fuck me," they turned to see Andrew and Sean entering the lodge, both of whom had a look of shock on their faces.
"I'm surprised that you invited those two," Marc whispered to Justin, "I mean, they're on the Huskies's football team, and you're a Cougar. That, and I thought that they gave you hell growing up."
"Well," Justin said with a sigh, "I know that you're still good friends with them, so I figured the more the merrier."
Marc was surprised that Justing was being so understanding. Of the seven guys on this little excursion, Marc was the linchpin that kept the group together. Justin and Jeremy would be considered the quieter of the bunch, even when they were kids, with Justin being your typical bookworm and Jeremy turning into a world class weed aficionado. And while Andrew and Sean had grown into a pair of highly talented, and extremely large, offensive lineman, Harris had just grown in every direction, enough so that Marc was beginning to push him to get tested for Diabetes.
"It's fine," Harris said as he brought in his bag after Jeremy and slowly collapsed in a big chair. Marc had offered to help and could see that Harris was breathing heavily from the small amount of digging they had to do, yet the first thing Harris did was bolted for the kitchen. "Holy shit, this fridge is completely stocked!"
"Yeah, they said there would be enough food to last two weeks, even though we're only here for three days," Justin shouted over to Harris.
"That's fucking awesome," Harris said with a smile as he popped open a Coke.
That left Steven outside, and he was probably looking over his car. He was from a wealthy family and didn't really get along with everyone else in the group outside of Marc. The other guys had often claimed that Steven kept Marc around like someone would keep a pet, but that didn't stop them from taking advantage of his access to loads of money.
"God, that snow is going to kill the Navigator," Steven said as he finally stepped through the door and closed it behind him.
"I'm sorry," Justin said from one of the large couches, "but there isn't a garage."
"No, it's fine," Steven replied with a smile, but Marc could see that his friend was not very happy about the situation. "And this, my dear Justin, was one hell of a fucking find. What, did you get this on Airbnb?"
"No, my uncle actually made the reservation for me as a birthday gift."
"Some fucking uncle," Andrew said as he stepped behind the bar. "Is the bar..."
"Yeah," Justin said with a smile, "everything here is included. That means all the alcohol and food is for us to enjoy, as well as the pool, gaming room and theater."
Everyone hooted and hollered at this, but Marc felt a little uneasy. As he looked at his six friends, all of whom had grown apart from each other in some way, he couldn't help if all of this was a little too good to be true. When he had pressed Justin for information on the place earlier, he had just told him to calm down and enjoy it.
"Harris, you fat fuck, bring me a Coke," Sean called from the Living room.
"Fuck off, Sean," Harris responded before tossing his friend a Coke.
"Thanks," Sean replied with a big smile.
"So," Justin said as he got up from the couch, "let's take a look around, shall we?" Marc could tell that Justing was loving being the center of attention since he was often forgotten by the other guys. Last year, only Marc had shown up in Pullman for his birthday and he could tell that his friend was hurt even though he tried to play it off like he was cool with it. "There are two stories with two bathrooms on the first floor and a large bathroom up on second." The group followed Justin through an entry way to the left of the fireplace and entered a hallway.
"God, this place looks like it should be in a horror movie, or in some weird fetish story online," Sean said with no concern at all in his voice, although the author took note of the rude comment and then and there decided that he would be the first to die. Everyone else on the other hand laughed at Sean's comment, but Marc could see what he was talking about. Dark wood lined the walls and lanterns hung from the wall at longer intervals than necessary. Add to that the fact that they were obviously electric, but they still flickered like they were gas. There were even creepy old photos on the wall, an obvious homage to blatant horror.
"The pool room," Justin said as he opened the door and allowed the guys in, "has a sauna, hot tub and olympic size pool." The room was lined with cedar planks, and the smell of chlorine filled the air. Large windows lined the wall facing west, but there was only large clouds and snow falling at the moment.
"That's a nice pool," Sean said as he ribbed Andrew in the side.
"Yeah, that's our first stop," Andrew replied with a punch to Sean's shoulder.
"There is also a theater," Justin said as he stepped back into the hallway and rounded a corner, "right there that has a 4K digital projector, and..."
"What about this room," Marc asked as he stopped. Justin had walked passed a door and had said nothing.
"I have no idea. They said that room was locked at all times and off limits."
"Wow, I don't think I've ever wanted to get into a room as badly as I want to get into that one," Harris said with a laugh.
"Yeah, forbidden fruit and all that," Jeremy said with no emotion in his voice. Marc looked over at this friend and sighed. He and Jeremy were the only two of the group who stayed in Oregon, and both went to school in Eugene. They had roomed together for the first semester, but Marc was growing annoyed with his friends reliance on weed. Marc would get high every now and then like everyone else, but Jeremy lived on the stuff. It had dulled him to the point where it became kinda a downer to be around him.
"And here's the bathroom," Justin added as the came to the end of the hallway right in front of a flight of stairs. "Now, let's go grab our bags and I'll show you up to the rooms."
As they walked back around the hallway, Marc hung in the back thinking about how different all of his friends were. When his friends had all turned the corner into the Living room, Marc suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up on end. He turned and swore that he saw something, but he just thought that he was imagining things.
"So there are two flights of stairs," Justin shouted as everyone gathered their things, "the ones we were just at and the ones over here.' He pointed to the right of the fireplace to where steps could be seen." With bags in hand they all shuffled up the stairs, with Harris taking his time behind them. "The supply closet is right here with any cleaning materials and toilet paper and fresh linen."
"Is there a laundry?" Harris asked as he finally got to the top of the stairs.
"Oh, shit, I forgot that downstairs. It's right behind the bar, Harris."
"Right," Justin said as he continued, "the door here on the right is to the bathroom. It has four shower stalls and a large soaking tub. The first bedroom is here on the left..."
"Dibs!" Andrew and Sean yelled at the same time. They then pushed past Justin and threw their bags in the room.
"Yeah, that's fine," Justin said with a huff. "The corner room is Room #2, where Marc and I will be," they turned a corner, " and Room # 3 is here for..."
"I get my own room, right?" Steven asked, his voice reaching a higher pitch.
"Yes, Steven, you get Room #4 all to yourself. That means Harris and Jeremy are in three."
"That's cool," Jeremy said as he nodded and Harris and stepped in the room.
"There's also a Game room and a Library... Fuck, they're all gone," Justin said to the empty hallway as three room doors closed all at once.
"Don't worry about it, they're all super psyched to be here, but probably a little tired" Marc said as he popped his bag on the bed against the west wall. The room was very nice, with two King sized beds on either wall and a large dresser to one side. Each bed had four posts made of huge logs, and a small table sat in the middle of the room with four chairs. "It really is a nice place," he added before going through is bag, "thanks for inviting all of us up here."
"Hey, this is going to be an amazing couple of days," Marc replied with a grin. "I mean, the game room has a WiiU with Smash."
"Damn!" Marc laughed, loving that his geeky little friend just refused to grow up. As his friend went about unpacking, Marc walked around the room and admired the workmanship. He looked at the bed and thought of how nice it would be to bring a girl up here to give it a real workout, but that would have to wait for another weekend.
As that last thought crossed his mind, Marc noticed two envelopes propped up on the dresser. "You know, it's funny," he said as he approached and picked up the envelopes, "I was thinking about what Sean said and I..." He tossed the envelopes in his hand as Justin looked up from his bag.
"I swore I saw something downstairs, when you guys were leaving the hallway."
"What do you think you saw?"
"A girl," Marc laughed as he looked over the envelopes, "wearing a blindfold..." Before he could finish his thought, he suddenly saw his name appear on one of the envelopes. "Whoa, what's this?"
"I don't know," Justin replied before putting down a shirt he was refolding and walking over to Marc.
"These have our name's on them. Did you do this?"
"No," Justin said as he took the envelope with his name on it, "I didn't even give the names of who's be up here with me." \
They both opened the envelopes and Marc laughed. "What? Mine just says Heroine, but unfortunately there's none in there," he said as he flipped the card onto the bed.
"A drug? Well mine just says Jock, and that's certainly not any kind of drug that I know of," Justin added before discarding the envelope as well. "Jock and Heroine, what do you think that means?"
"I don't know," Marc said as his short brown hair began to lengthen at an alarming rate, "but I'm sure it's nothing life changing."
///// To Be Continued
///// Author's Note
Thank you for coming along on this strange journey with me, and I hope that you have enjoyed yourselves. This story will be updated regularly, but I'm not committing to any sort of time frame. In the meantime you can contact me at [email protected] with any questions, comments or let me know of any mistakes with grammar or editing as I'm always looking to improve my craft. Also, another quick thanks to Canada12 for suggesting this story!
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