“Remember when these lessons used to be just for the two of us?” I ask Charlotte as we tie our shiny satin pointe shoes to our feet.

“Barely,” My BFF giggles. “Then again, who is it who’s always saying ‘you can never have too many friends’?”

“Yes, yes, okay,” I laugh as I return to the barre, flanked by over a dozen of my friends. As we run through the remainder of our steps, I smile as I muse on what Charlotte said, and how right she is, especially at this time of year. In exactly five days’ time, I will turn 24 years of age, and I’ll be surrounded by my family, my friends, my boyfriend… In the past, my birthdays were miserable affairs. I spent my 17th, 18th and 19th birthdays alone, estranged from my family with no friends to speak of- and no clue what I’d do with my life, or who I was destined to become. Birthdays twenty to twenty-three, however, were much more exciting- dressing up in fun costumes, surrounded by friends and family, often ending in sex… And more importantly, I was the person I wanted to be. I was the WOMAN I wanted to be. Even though my 24th birthday party won’t have a special theme to it, it’ll still be special. I don’t need to be surrounded by presents or an elaborate costume… I just need to be surrounded by the people I love.

“Eee!” Hannah squeaks as she rushes over to me and wraps her arms around my body. “Last Monday ballet lesson as a 23 year old!”

“And your last Monday lesson until January, in all likelihood!” Charlotte teases the tall girl, who literally bounces up and down with excitement as the class centres its attention on her.

“Da da-da da da-da-da,” all fifteen of us shout, ‘singing’ the theme tune to Strictly Come Dancing while Hannah gets more and more excited.

“Come on,” Nikki giggles as she leads Hannah away. “Your OTHER dance teacher awaits…”

“SO cool,” Charlotte sighs.

“Say the woman who tore up the dancefloor three years ago!” Mary laughs.

“I may have been the first,” Charlotte giggles. “But I knew I wouldn’t be the last. Kinda expected the nearly-birthday girl to be the second, though…”

“I wish!” I giggle as I pull my short black skirt and clingy grey top back on over my tights and my leotard.

“I kinda hoped it’d be me!” Mary laughs as she pulls her own short grey dress back on over her curvy yet slender frame. “I’m the shortest, the oldest…”

“…The one returning to full-time university in a couple of weeks,” I say, making the Irish girl stick her tongue out at me.

“So are you!” Mary retorts.

“OPEN University,” I remind my friend. “Just because it’s called ‘home’ study doesn’t mean I can’t do it in, say, a dance studio…”

“Ah, sure you’ll be on the show yourself in a few years,” Mary says as her phone starts to ring. “Hang on, need to get this…”

“Okay,” Charlotte says commandingly. “So it’s settled then. Jamie will be next, then Mary-“

“Then me!” Viks laughs. “Krys already IS a dance teacher, I remember all the controversy when you went on about your dance training. Just hope Hannah won’t get the same treatment…”

“Nah, EVERYONE loves Hannah,” Charlotte laughs. “I was the spoilt brat from a rich background, but Hannah…” A brief silence falls over the three of us as we recall Hannah’s tales of her very UNprivileged childhood. I open my mouth to speak, but am interrupted by the return of Mary, whose face has turned almost as white as a ghost.

“…Mary?” I ask. “Is- is everything okay?”

“N-no,” Mary whispers. “That was my mum… My Aunt Helen just died…”

“Oh my god,” Charlotte gasps, giving the distraught woman a tight hug that immediately gets joined by every other girl still in the studio.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry…” Krystie whispers. “I know you two were close…”

“Thanks,” Mary sniffles. “They- they’re having the funeral on Friday, I’m going to have to stay over the weekend…” …And miss my birthday party, I think to myself. “Jamie, I’m-“

“You go, this is more important,” I say as the tearful Mary is finally released from the group hug.

“Thank you,” Mary whispers as she makes a futile attempt to dry her eyes.

“I’ll run you home,” Viks immediately offers. “We’ll call Dan… God, I am SO sorry for your loss…” Those of us still in the dance studio watch in silence as Viks leads Mary to her car, slowly driving away with the Irish girl still in floods of tears.

“Poor Mary,” Becca whispers.

“She was REALLY close to that aunt,” Krystie sighs as we resume changing back into our regular clothes. “She couldn’t have been that old, either, think Mary’s parents are only in their late fifties, so she’d have been early sixties, tops…”

“When she gets back, we make sure that we’re all there for her, agreed?” I ask.

“Agreed,” everyone replies. Charlotte flashes me a sad smile as we get in my car and head home, though her smile becomes a lot happier as we enter our vast home to be greeted by the sound of infant laughter.

“Hello!” Charlotte beams, walking into the living room and picking up her infant son. “Mummy’s back! Yes she is! Yes she is!” I giggle as Charlotte gently gives Keith junior’s forehead one gentle kiss after another as the baby’s laughter grows louder and louder.

“Ah, you’re back,” a soft Irish voice calls from the kitchen.

“Did he need changing while we were out?”

“Just once,” the voice’s owner- a tiny, flame-haired woman with a face full of freckles replies. “I gave him a feed as well, he should go down for his nap soon.”

“Thanks, Eilish,” Charlotte says, before turning her full attention back to her baby son. “Say thank you to Auntie Eilish!” I and Eilish both giggle as Charlotte rocks Keith junior in her arms, giving the impression that the tiny boy is gesturing towards us.

“You got anything else planned for today?” Eilish asks.

“Nope!” I say happily. “Consider yourself off the hook for the rest of the day.”

“Ah, you know you’ll miss him really,” Charlotte giggles.

“How couldn’t I miss this little cutie?” Eilish says, giggling in Keith junior’s face. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

“She is so good with him,” I say, sitting down on the sofa after Eilish departs.

“I know,” Charlotte says, also sitting down with Keith junior in her arms. “We REALLY struck gold when we hired her…” I smile as I remember back to last month, when Charlotte returned to work- just three months after her son’s birth- and I found myself spending every free second babysitting, which wouldn’t be too bad if I didn’t spend every other second doing one of my own jobs. Stuart and I gradually postponed our holiday more and more until time eventually ran out and what would’ve been our holiday clashed with when Stuart would having his SRS- which would obviously render him unable to travel.

At my wit’s end, I suggested- well demanded- that Charlotte should hire a nanny, an idea that Charlotte immediately rejected. In her mind, when I said ‘nanny’ I meant ‘frumpy old Mary Poppins who will dress Keith junior in a tiny sailor suit and refuse to let him play with anything made after 1890’. I assured her that this wouldn’t be the case… And when we started interviewing for the role of nanny, I was very quickly proved wrong. Every single person we interviewed was in their mid-forties or mid-fifties, armed with a small library full of ‘super nanny’ books and an accent that sounded like they’d taken elocution lessons from the Queen. The looks that many of them gave me was far from endearing, especially when I was holding Keith junior- almost as though I was waiting for him to be old enough to start transforming him into a girl, whether he likes it or not. Obviously, if he decides he wants to be female when he's older, I'll support him- his mother will be especially supportive, given that she wanted a girl- but if he wants to be a man when he's older, than both Charlotte and I will fully support him in that as well.

After two days, I’d just about resigned myself to the fact that I’d be as much a mother to Keith junior as Charlotte was while he grew up. I didn’t mind this, of course- he is my godson, and I love him dearly, but the fact remained that I wanted my own life… And would eventually want a family of my own. At the end of the third day of interviews, however, we met Eilish… And all our prayers were answered.

Unlike the dowdy, middle-aged women we’d interviewed, Eilish was young- only 22- had only had one previous nannying job, no ‘academic’ qualifications and came into the interview squeeing loudly over being in the house of one of the Angels. Then she met Keith junior, and from the second she held him in her arms we knew that she was so perfect for the role that we hired her on the spot. It’s clear that Keith junior adores her as well, almost as much as he adores his mum- and whilst I’d worried that this might make Charlotte jealous, Eilish has been a consummate professional, always handing Keith junior over to Charlotte the second she comes through the door. If anything, the Irishwoman is more Keith junior’s best friend than his nanny… And she’s quickly becoming best friends with myself and Charlotte as well.

I spend the rest of the day on the sofa doing some reading ahead of my (delayed) final year of university, and briefly take a call from Joshua about his latest brainwave, a spin-off of the Angels centred around the flight attendants of a regional airline. All the while, I giggle as I watch Charlotte fuss over her infant son, even smiling as she changes his nappy- something that would have made Charlotte retch a few months ago.

The sight of Charlotte fussing over the most important man in her life brings a consistent smile to my face, but just after 5pm that smile turns into a full-blown grin as the most important man in MY life lets himself into the house using his key.

“Hey Jamie!” Stuart says as I stand up and give him a long, deep kiss. “Hi Charlotte, hi godson!” Charlotte giggles as she waves Keith junior’s arm at Stuart, before the four of us relax back down in our chairs.

“I heard about Mary’s aunt,” Stuart sighs. “Dan told me that they’ve gone to Belfast for the rest of the week, that really sucks…”

“It can’t be helped,” I sigh. “Some things are more important than a silly birthday party…”

“Not for me, not when it’s yours,” Stuart says, wrapping his arm around my slender waist. “Which aunt was it, was it Helen?”

“Yep,” I sigh. “The only one of her relatives who was actually nice to the two of us at the wedding. Actually treated us like human beings rather than some sort of ‘affront to god’…”

“That sucks even more,” Stuart sighs, taking Keith junior and giving the tiny infant a soft cuddle, showing yet again just how amazing he is with babies.

“Did you two really have a hard time of it at the wedding?” Charlotte asks. “I remember you saying that you were getting a few odd looks…”

“Mary’s family basically refused to have anything to do with me,” I sigh. “Her parents were polite in as much as they just pretended we weren’t transsexual-“

“-Which IS a compliment,” Stuart interrupts.

“-And her aunt, the one who just died, was the only other person even willing to talk to us,” I continue. “Did you notice how in the ‘bridesmaids and family’ photo they stood on the opposite side of Mary, as far away from me as possible?”

“I thought that was just the photographer’s instructions,” Charlotte shrugged, taking her son back from Stuart. “Never really occurred to me…”

“Helen actually told me at the reception that some of Mary’s family even refused to come because I was a bridesmaid,” I sigh. “Can’t believe how stupid some people are, and not just because of religion, I had a better relationship with Mary’s aunt than I do with my own aunt…”

“Same here, only replace ‘aunt’ with ‘grandmother’,” Stuart sighs. “Actually went to visit her last month, after my nephew was born… That was a learning experience and a half.” I cuddle my body closer to Stuart, though a glance over at Charlotte quickly tells me that she’s probably more upset than either of us.

“You’re so lucky that you even have a family,” Charlotte sighs as she cuddles her son, the only member of her family with whom she has any contact.

“I’ve told you a million times,” I say. “WE are your family, and we always will be.”

“Thanks,” Charlotte says with a soft giggle. “On- on that note, tomorrow…”

“Yes, you can come with me to visit them,” I say, making the young mother giggle happily. We spend the rest of the evening watching Netflix on Charlotte’s widescreen TV before heading to be just after 10pm. After brushing my teeth, I step out of my en-suite bathroom stark naked, bringing a lustful look to the handsome young man laid in my bed. Our lips very quickly meet, parting just enough to allow our tongues to explore each other's mouths. Soon, my fingers slide down Stuart's firm body to his groin, where his swollen clitoris feels bigger than ever.

"Enjoy this while you can," I whisper in my lover's ear as I gently stroke the throbbing organ, making his face contort with ecstasy as my stroking becomes firmer, and faster, until finally Stuart pants heavily in my ear. I almost immediately gasp myself as his hand quickly finds its way to my most sensitive area, exploring it as only someone with his 'experience' can, until I finally reach an explosive orgasm, yelling Stuart's name at the top of my lungs.

“I love you so much,” Stuart whispers in my ear as he encircles my waist from behind. Within minutes, both of us are fast asleep, and when we wake up the following morning, neither of us wants to let go of the other.

“You should probably get up,” I moan. “You’ve got work… Need to get that album finished before you, well, you know…”

“Mikey can handle anything I don’t get finished before my operation,” Stuart says, nuzzling my neck and making me giggle.

“Stop that!” I laugh. “You know how ticklish I am…”

“Sorry,” Stuart says, tightening his embrace on my body. “I really, really don’t want to get up…” I frown as Stuart rests his face in my back- I’ve been with him long enough to know the meaning of every little change in his body language, or the tone of his voice, and I can tell right now that his desire to stay in bed is borne from more than just lust or laziness.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Ugh, it’ll sound silly,” Stuart moans, releasing his hold on my waist and rolling onto his back.

“You know you can tell me literally anything,” I say, also rolling over and gently resting my hand on his flat chest.

“It’s- it’s Mary’s aunt,” Stuart sighs. “What we talked about last night, got me thinking about my grandma again, how she’s almost eighty… I just- I just always thought I’d somehow be able to reconcile with her before she, you know, left us…” I sigh sadly as Stuart bares his soul, before he shakes his head resignedly and gets up, stretching his tired body and giving me a perfect view of his small, tight buttocks.

“I kinda feel the same way about my aunt,” I say. “But I figure if she doesn’t want anything to do with me, that’s her loss.”

“And your cousins’ loss,” Stuart reminds me as he heads into my shower.

“Yeah, true,” I sigh.

“Did you ever trace them on Facebook?” Stuart asks.

“I think so,” I say. “Tracked down two girls who look the same, have the right names AND are friends with each other. Their mother doesn’t seem to be on Facebook though, which is probably for the best!”

“Maybe you should invite them to the party on Saturday,” Stuart says. “There’s no theme, I’m sure it’ll be child-friendly, your mum and dad will be there so they can chaperone if your aunt really flips out… What’s the harm in asking?”

“You’re right!” I say, grabbing my iPad from my nightstand and navigating to the two Facebook profiles I’d found a few weeks ago.

‘Dear Nina and Annalise,’ I type into a new chat window with the two teenagers. ‘I don’t know if you remember meeting at your grandmother’s funeral a few months ago- or should I say OUR grandmother’s funeral. After the funeral I discovered that your mum and my mum are sisters, so that makes us cousins- isn’t that cool? Anyway, I’m messaging to say that it’s my birthday this Saturday and I’m having a party just for family and friends, and, well, you ARE family, so you’re welcome to come if you’d like! Feel free to message me back for more details, and you can expect two friend requests heading your way soon too!’ I send the message and smile a long, satisfied smile as I return my iPad to my nightstand. My aunt was so obnoxious to me the last time we met, a little revenge would be sweet… Unless she’s contrite about the way she behaved and wants to mend our relationship, in which case I get a new family member. Either way, it’s a ‘win’ for me.

I jump in the shower after Stuart’s vacated it, drying myself just in time to see Stuart pull on his thick, chunky boots and leave the house, giving me a long, deep kiss as he goes. With Stuart gone, I take my time applying my make-up- just a moderate layer, appropriate for going to see my parents- before pulling on a comfortable white cotton bodysuit with a thong back, a pair of translucent black tights and a long-sleeved purple dress with a short, flared skirt. After touching up my burgundy-coloured fingernails, spraying on a light amount of perfume and slipping my feet into a pair of ankle booties with a 3” heel. After grabbing my handbag, I head downstairs to find Charlotte dressed in an equally chic manner- a short, straight skirt, a tight top, lighter tights than my own and (of course) higher heels than mine.

Keith junior, though, is cuter than both of us combined. Tucked up in his warm, pale blue footed onesie and woollen hat, he looks like the most contented baby in the world, and it’s all I can do not to pluck him out of his car seat and cuddle him for the rest of the day. However, Charlotte and I both have a trip to take, so I fasten Keith junior’s car seat into the people carrier Charlotte and I jointly bought a few months ago, before jumping in the driver’s seat and driving away.

“So… When are you planning on taking your driving test?” I ask my BFF, who giggles as she repeatedly looks behind her to check on her son.

“When I remember how to drive without a massive, swollen belly!” Charlotte laughs.

“It’s been almost five months,” I retort. “To look at you you’d never think that you’d ever been pregnant.”

“Thank you,” Charlotte says with a happy giggle.

“Figured I owed you that after almost five YEARS of ‘you’d never think that you’d ever been male’,” I say, making Charlotte giggle even harder.

“God, five years,” Charlotte sighs. “Really don’t know what I’d have done without you this last five years…”

“Well, I’m going anywhere anytime soon,” I say with a happy smile as we pull up outside my parents’ home and unstrap Keith junior from his seat.

“Hello!” I call as I let myself into the house with my key. “Favourite daughter entering the property…”

“Jamie!” Mum says, giving me a hug. “I LOVE that dress! Is that new?”

“Had it a few months,” I say with a smile.

“Charlotte!” Mum says, giving my BFF a tight hug as I take Keith junior from her. “And you’ve brought your little cutie as well! You’re both looking so well, I take it you’re eating properly?”

“Of course,” Charlotte says smugly. I giggle as I head into the lounge with the tiny infant, only to be confronted by an unexpected sight.

“D-dad?” I ask, gasping at the sight of the middle-aged man sat on the sofa. “What are you doing here?”

“Umm, it’s my house, I live here!” Dad laughs, though I can immediately tell from his facial expression that all is not well.

“No,” I sigh, “I mean… Why aren’t you at work?” Dad’s laugh instantly disappears and his face falls as he lets out a long, sad sigh. The upset look that’s suddenly crept onto mum’s face also tells me that whatever the news it, it isn’t good.

“Your father…” Mum whispers.

“I’ve been made redundant,” dad sighs, sitting back in his chair.

“Oh my god,” I whisper. “Red-redundant? Just like that?”

“Just, as you say, like that,” dad sighs. “I’m on gardening leave right now, but as of the 1st of November this year, I will be officially unemployed for the first ever time in my life.”

“How- how long were you working for them?” Charlotte asks.

“32 years,” dad laughs. “Started with them when I was the same age you are now… Obviously I’m going to have a nice, fat pay out to look forward to, but even that won’t last forever…”

“This is terrible,” I sigh. First Mary, now dad… What else can go wrong this week? “I- I’ll put in a good word with Joshua, I’m sure he’ll be happy to give you a job managing one of his offices, or one of his properties…”

“There’s no need,” dad says, shaking his head.

“But-“ I argue.

“Jamie, I’m 56,” dad laughs. “I can’t suddenly jump into another job just like that. I’ve got a redundancy payment heading my way and two pensions I can draw on… I’ve talked it over with your mother, and I’m going to be taking early retirement.”

“Re-retirement?” I ask. “You’re not THAT old…”

“Thanks!” Dad chuckles. “But seriously, I’ve worked my arse off for almost forty years… It’s about time I dialled it back a little. Might even go golfing with Raymond, heh.”

“Stuart’s dad?” Charlotte asks, getting nods from me and dad.

“I’ve already told your father he’ll be bored out of his skin come the first week in December, but of course, he isn’t listening,” mum laughs.

“I can always get a part-time job somewhere,” dad laughs. “But anyway, enough about me, what’s happening with you? It’s your big day on Saturday, twenty-four…”

“Yes,” mum gushes, “it’s a pity you’re not doing one of your big costume parties this year, but as long as your dad has a picture, any picture to add to his scrapbook…”

“Umm, yes,” I say, still struggling to process all the information that I’ve been bombarded with. “Should be a great night, Mary’s not going to be able to come though, her aunt died yesterday so she had to go back to Ireland…”

“Ah, that’s a shame,” mum sighs. “It’s her birthday a few weeks after yours though, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, first week of October,” I say. “She’s 25 this year… Heh, when we first met her, she was 20, had only lived in London less than a year…”

“Now she’s got a young family,” mum sighs. “You will before too long, I can’t speak for your father but I know that, even if you have to adopt, I want grandchildren some day!”

“Is your ‘honorary grandson’ not enough?” Charlotte asks with a giggle, earning a playful shove from my dad.

“Of course he is,” dad laughs. “For now…” I laugh and smile my way through the rest of the visit, but deep inside, I feel uneasy, and as we get back in the car, Charlotte immediately confronts me about it.

“Go on,” Charlotte sighs as she fastens Keith junior’s seat back into the car. “What’s wrong?”

“It- ugh,” I moan. “Dad retiring… It’s just- god, this’ll sound silly…”

“No, go on, please,” Charlotte says. “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“It- it’s just a reminder that he’s getting old,” I sigh. “Between my grandmother and Mary’s aunt… It’s kind-of a reminder that he won’t be around forever. And remembering back to when we first met Mary… That was the same time he and I weren’t talking. It’s like I wasted all that time, and now there’s not much left…”

“Your dad also said that he was only 56,” Charlotte says. “He’s got plenty of years left. And remember who you’re talking to! You’re so lucky to have even one amazing parent, let alone two…”

“Oh god, Charlie, I- I’m sorry,” I whisper as I remember Charlotte’s backstory- specifically, how she lost her mother at the age of 14 at the hands of her father, who she then lost at the age of 22.

“Like you said last night, YOU’RE my family,” Charlotte says with a sad smile.

“And I always will be,” I whisper as we head home, where I spend the rest of the day reading for my university course before heading to bed just after 10pm. Stuart’s staying at his house tonight as he doesn’t want any distractions whilst he finishes off Out of Heaven’s album, so I take the opportunity to dilate before falling into a deep sleep.

My alarm wakes me at 8:30am, but I’m in no rush to get up, even though I promised Stuart that I’d spend the afternoon with him, giving him ‘moral support’ as he works to finish off the album. I eventually rise just after 9:30, quickly showering, applying my make-up and dressing in a plain red sweater, a short black skirt and opaque black tights. As I’m not meeting Stuart until lunchtime, I take the opportunity to get more reading done, but I’ve only get fifteen minutes to immerse myself in my book when I’m interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Hello?” I say, opening the door to be greeted by two uniformed police officers- one a middle-aged man, the other a young woman only a few years older than me.

“Jamie-Lee Burke?” The older man asks.

“Yes…” I say cautiously. “Can I help you with something?”

“We’d like you to come down to the station with us,” the man continues. “We have a few questions for you.”

“Wh-what?” I ask. “Am I being arrested?”

“No,” the younger woman says. “But we have received a complaint against you, and we just need to ask you a few questions, so we need your co-operation in this.”

“What’s the charge?” I ask, barely keeping a lid on my anger.

“There’s no charge as you’re not being arrested yet,” the woman says, my anger nearly boiling over at her use of the word ‘yet’. “If you come willingly to the police station then I’m sure we can clear this all up, otherwise I’m afraid we will have to return with a warrant for your arrest.”

“I want to call my solicitor,” I say firmly.

“Of course, you can call them from the station,” the young woman says, gesturing to the police car that’s parked on our driveway.

“Jamie, what’s happening?” Charlotte asks, before gasping at the sight of the two police officers.

“Well, apparently I’m NOT being arrested,” I say, not making any effort to disguise my indignation. “I need to go. I’ll be back in a bit.” With my jaw clenched, I slide into the back seat of the police car and take several deep breaths to calm my anger as we drive away. Of course, the windows of the car aren’t tinted, so I spend the entire journey with my face buried in my hands- a photograph of me in the back of a police car would inevitably end up in every tabloid newspaper in the country, and I have no intention of letting that happen. I keep my face disguised as I head into the station, where I’m allowed a brief moment to call my solicitor, who assures me that she’ll be at the station within twenty minutes. After she arrives, the two officers lead us into a small private room. Rather than the dank, brick rooms I’ve come to expect from TV, this one is modern, light and airy, but still secluded from the rest of the station.

“Miss Burke,” the older officer explains once the door is shut. “We’ve received a complaint that you have been harassing two minors over the internet.”

“What?” I ask, my anger once again nearly boiling over. “Who? When?”

“Who issued the complaint, and when did you receive it?” Janet- my solicitor- asks, her composure much calmer than my own.

“The complaint was received yesterday afternoon from a Mrs Sally Benson,” the younger woman says. “How do you know this woman?”

“She’s my aunt,” I say, before sighing as I slowly realise what must have happened. “I’m guessing the two girls I’m supposed to have ‘harassed’ are her daughters, my cousins. Yesterday morning I sent them a message over Facebook, having traced them, and invited them to my birthday party on Saturday. That’s it. One message, just one.”

“Did you receive a reply to that message?” The older man asks.

“No,” I reply. “Though I could see that they did read it, both of them. I thought they were just being shy, or checking to see if it’s really me- we met at our grandmother’s funeral a while back, they asked me for my autograph, didn’t realise they were related to a celebrity. My aunt… Was hostile to me because of my transgendered status and warned me to stay away from her daughters.”

“Did she threaten you?” The younger officer asks.

“No,” I say.

“So you ignored her request not to contact her children?” The older male officer asks.

“Well- yes,” I sigh, realising that I’ve been trapped and can’t risk lying. “They’re family…”

“We will need access to your phone and your computer to prove that this was the only message sent,” the older officer says.

“Not without a warrant,” Janet interjects. “Miss Burke has her phone with her here, I’m sure she’d be happy to show you the messages now, to help expedite this unfortunate situation?”

“Messages can be deleted from Facebook,” the younger female officer argues.

“And waiting to get a warrant would mean that my client has more time to delete these non-existent messages,” Janet argues. “If you look at them now, you’ll be able to see that this was the only message sent.” I bristle slightly- the thought of strangers looking through my private messages, even professionals like police officers, fills me with dread. I know the old saying- ‘never say anything privately that you aren’t prepared to back up publicly’, but still…

“Very well,” the older officer says. “May we see your phone, please?” I nod and pass the officers my phone, unlocking it and opening Facebook messenger. After about two minutes- and a LOT of scrolling for a single message- the two officers nod and hand my phone back to me.

“As you can see,” Janet says confidently, “there is nothing there to warrant an arrest or even any further questioning.”

“We will need to speak to the complainant again,” the older man says. “But for now I’m confident that there’s nothing more we need to ask. If we do need to speak to you again, we’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you,” Janet says, hastily ushering me out of the station and into her- which, thankfully, has tinted windows.

“Don’t think I saw any paparazzi,” I sigh as I fasten my seatbelt. “Can’t believe my aunt…”

“You were right to call me out,” Janet says. “Your aunt, however, was very wrong to file a complaint with the police. You would be well within your rights to push to get her prosecuted for filing a false police report.”

“No,” I say firmly. “The whole point of the message was to try to repair my relationship with her family, not destroy it further…”

“Nonetheless, it’d be best if you didn’t have any further contact with your cousins for now,” Janet advises.

“Yeah, I’d figured that one out for myself,” I sigh, before checking my watch. “It’s almost noon… I was going to meet Stuart for lunch, can you drop me round his house, please?”

“Of course,” Janet says. “Just remember what I said- don’t. Contact. Your cousins.” I nod as Janet drives us out of the centre of London, and we’re soon pulling up outside Stuart’s parents’ vast home, where I spot a very familiar black BMW in the driveway.

“Hello?” I say, letting myself into the house with my own key. “Stuart?”

“Ah, sounds like you’ve got a home invader, Ray,” the very familiar voice of my own father says from the Miltons’ dining room. “Better call the police!” Yeah, you wouldn’t be making that joke if you know where I just was, dad…

“What are you doing here?” I ask, entering the dining room to find both of my parents deep in conversation with both of Stuart’s parents.

“Well, now that I’ve got more free time, figured I’d make a few new friends,” dad laughs. “Ray’s been giving me tips on how to enjoy my retirement, letting me know the joys of grandparenthood…”

“Not that you and Stuart are to go out and have any babies!” Ray- Stuart’s father- says, playfully wagging a finger in my face.

“Not that we’d be able to, anyway,” I moan as I sit down next to my mum. “You’ll never guess where I’ve just been…”

I briefly recap my ‘interview’ for mine & Stuart’s parents, and by the end of my tale, both my mother and my father and almost boiling over with rage- which, thankfully, isn’t directed at me.

“That damned woman,” mum spits. “I don’t know what you were thinking trying to contact your cousins but that damned woman really has a lot to answer for…”

“Is she angry just because you’re, well…” Ray asks, his voice trailing off.

“Yep,” I say. “She was all smiles at the funeral, came over to us and actually that that Stuart was me at first. Then she found out the truth, and suddenly she wasn’t happy anymore.”

“Believe me, I know that attitude,” Stuart’s mother sighs.

“This brings back unfortunate memories,” mum mumbles. “This time, though, I promise we’ll stand by you no matter what.”

“Umm,” Ray says, “am I missing something?”

“It- it’s, um, not the first time I’ve been in trouble with the law…” I say, my voice slowly trailing off. “When I was sixteen, I was cautioned for possession of cannabis…” I grimace as both of Stuart’s parents shoot a very disapproving glare in my direction.

“I never used it, I swear,” I plead. “I had no friends at school so I hung around with a bad crowd, and I-“

“What’s in the past is in the past,” Ray says firmly. “If you say you’ve never used it, I believe you.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, leading to an awkward silence. “Is- is Stuart-“

“In his room,” Stuart’s mother says, the smile returning to her face. “I’d have shouted him but he’s got his headphones on so wouldn’t have heard.”

“Do you two have anything planned for the weekend?” Ray asks. “This’ll be your last chance to get away before he goes into hospital…”

“No plans,” I say, the smile slowly returning to my face. “Just spending time with family.” Most of it, anyway… After a further brief talk with both sets of parents- during which mum promises to call Aunt Sally, despite my protests- I am finally allowed to disappear up the stairs into Stuart’s bedroom, where, as his mother predicted, he is sat at his computer wearing a set of noise-cancelling headphones. I grin devilishly as I stride up to him and wave my face in front of his screen, momentarily startling him.

“Hey,” Stuart says, removing his headphones and pulling me into his lap, where he gives me a long, tender kiss. “Had a good morning?”

“Ugh,” I spit. “This week is just getting worse and worse…” I explain the situation to Stuart, who immediately apologises- it was his idea to send the message to my cousins, after all. I, of course, instantly forgive my boyfriend- it may have been his idea, but I’m the one who sent the messages, I’m the one who needs to accept responsibility for them. Nonetheless, Stuart devotes the rest of the afternoon to cheering me up, letting me listen to some of the near-final mixes of the songs he’s producing for the album, and they are very good. I’m particularly proud of the ‘solo’ song sung by Stephanie, my newest ‘protégé’, more so as it’s an original song that Stuart wrote especially to fit her voice.

My parents stay for a slightly awkward dinner with Stuart’s parents (as well as his little sister and her boyfriend), during which the topic of this morning’s ‘incident’ stays firmly off the table. Whilst I like Becca (Stuart’s sister), I’ve always had the impression that she’s never been too fond of me (especially since my ‘indiscretion’ last year) so the last thing I need to do is give her more ‘ammunition’. After we finish eating, my parents bid a fond farewell, leaving me in the arms of my ‘other family’ for the rest of the night.

The six of us have only just sat down for a night in front of the TV when we’re interrupted by phone ringing, and my heart sinks when I check the caller ID- it’s from Joshua.

“Ugh, I need to take this,” I moan, unwrapping myself from Stuart’s arms and leaving the living room. “Hi Joshua…”

“Jamie,” the eerily subdued voice of my agent replies. “I think you know why I’m calling.”

“Is- is it about this morning?” I ask. “Oh god, please say I wasn’t photographed…”

“I’m afraid you were,” Joshua says in a dark voice. “Obviously this is not how I wanted to find out that one of my Angels spent most of the morning at a cop shop!”

“I wasn’t arrested,” I plead. “I- my aunt- ugh. I sent my cousins, who I told you about a while back, invitations to my birthday party on Saturday, my aunt’s this massive anti-transgender bigot and decided to file a complaint with the police saying that I ‘harassed’ her daughters.”

“…Is that it?” Joshua asks, clearly surprised by my story.

“That’s it,” I say. “My solicitor actually wants me to see if we can get my aunt done for filing a false police report…”

“As she should be!” Joshua booms with more of his usual bombast. “Nevertheless, you and I have damage control to do. I’ll issue a statement stating that you were asked questions in regard to an on-going investigation, but that you yourself were not arrested nor are you in any trouble. It’s technically true, I’m sure this will all blow over quickly enough. Maybe even before your TV spot tomorrow.”

“Ah, shit, I’d forgotten about that…” I moan.

“Relax!” Joshua commands. “You’re there to promote our new products, it’s daytime TV, not Jeremy Paxman!”

“I know, I know,” I sigh.

“These new products have the chance to make us millions,” Joshua explains. “But if you’d rather, I can see if Viks can do the interview instead. Obviously, Hannah’s too busy with her dancing, Krystie’s too busy teaching-“

“I’m okay doing it by myself,” I say with a smile.

“I’ll send Viks along with you anyway,” Joshua commands. “In the meantime, you take care of yourself, and try not to get in any more trouble!”

“Thanks,” I say, forcing a giggle past my lips. “Talk soon.” Joshua hangs up the phone and I head back into the living room, where everyone is of course staring at me for causing the ‘interruption’.

“Thank god we can pause live TV,” Becca giggles. “Who was that?”

“Joshua,” I say, before sighing. “I may- may have visited a police station earlier today to answer a few questions…” I grimace and fix Becca with a dark stare as the young woman erupts in a fit of giggles.

“Nothing TOO serious, I hope?” Becca laughs.

“I wasn’t arrested,” I retort. “Someone- not saying who- just thought it’d be funny to file a false report against me…”

“Still though,” Becca continues, barely composing herself. “I’m guessing Joshua called because it ended up on the sidebar of shame?” I sigh and roll my eyes, opting not to dignify Becca’s question with an answer.

“I’ll take that eye roll as a ‘yes’,” Becca giggles. “Does this mean that there’s going to be a vacancy in the Angels soon?”

“Becca!” Ray barks, silencing his daughter.

“You’re too busy with your band, anyway,” Stuart says, giving me a very welcome cuddle. “Or at least, you will be in a few months when we finally release your album!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Becca says, taking several deep breaths and finally composing herself. “Anyone want an Orange is the New Black marathon after this programme’s over?” I roll my eyes again as everyone moans at Becca- and thankfully, we don’t watch the aforementioned prison drama before Stuart and I head to bed just after 10pm.

“Number 671,” the guard calls as I wake up on my stiff mattress. “671, move it!” I sigh as I pull on my baggy, unflattering orange jumpsuit and allow myself to be handcuffed before heading out into the prison yard.

“Nice ass, Jamie!” Charlotte- also wearing a jumpsuit- calls as I hang my head in shame. I look around the yard at the face of all the other inmates, each one wearing identical orange jumpsuits and the face of one of my friends.

“Okay, move it!” The guard- whose identity is revealed as that of Stuart’s sister Becca- barks, roughly shoving me in the back and keeping me walking. We eventually end up at the end of a long corridor, facing a thick wooden door that wouldn’t be out of place in a medieval castle. When Becca opens the door, I feel a rush of wind pass my face, blowing my hair in front of me. Behind the door is a deep, almost bottomless pit, and I try to grip the cold stone floor with my bare toes, desperate not to be pushed in the pit.

“Get in the pit, you bitch!” Becca spits, kicking me in the back and sending me tumbling in the pit, falling end over end as the light around me gets brighter and brighter…

“Ahh!” I yell as I wake up, panting heavily.

“Jamie?” Stuart lazily mumbles. “You okay?”

“Fine,” I sigh as I lay back down in Stuart’s comfortable bed and allow him to wrap his strong arms around me. “Just a bad dream…” I stare over at Stuart’s bedside clock, and the time on the display- 3:10- makes me groan. I don’t have to be up for another four hours, but I really, really don’t want to go back to sleep for fear of what else my subconscious may throw at me.

Nonetheless, I do fall back into a thankfully dreamless sleep as Stuart’s alarm clock wakes me at 7am, and I sigh as I stretch my body before freeing myself from my still-sleeping boyfriend’s embrace. Before I head into the shower, I pause to stare at Stuart’s sleeping face for a brief while longer, before giving him a soft, gentle kiss on his cheek. Throughout everything, he’s supported me unconditionally, and I know that no matter what, he will always love me- and I will always love him and give him all the support he needs, especially when he goes into hospital next month.

“I love you,” I whisper to the slumbering transman, before heading into the shower, cleansing my tired body before applying a light layer of make-up (there’ll be make-up artists at the TV studio I’m going to who will ‘tart me up’ more), brushing my hair, spraying on a light cloud of perfume and pulling on a clean bra and thong, followed by a pair of translucent black tights and a very short, stripey dress. I’m just about to slip my feet into a pair of high-heeled stiletto pumps when I hear my boyfriend start to stir in the large double bed behind me.

“Urgh,” Stuart moans as he opens his eyes. “My room’s not supposed to smell like that this early…”

“It’s better than it smelling like BOY,” I retort, getting up and giving Stuart another kiss as he pads into his shower.

“Not according to this ‘boy’,” Stuart shouts from underneath the roar of the water, making me giggle as I grab my handbag and wait for him to dry himself off. After he exits the shower, I pounce on him, giving him another kiss as I play with the light, wispy hair on his flat chest.

“See you later, sexy!” I giggle, giving Stuart another kiss and playfully grabbing his buttocks through his towel before heading downstairs to where the Angelmobile is already parked and waiting for me.

“Hi Jamie!” Nikki says from the driver’s seat. “I’ve got you a bagel and a coffee, it should be on the right-hand seat.”

“You absolute Angel,” I giggle as I look in the brown paper bag at my posh breakfast.

“Jamie…” Nikki sighs as we drive away. “I- I saw that article on the internet yesterday, about you and the police station…”

“Ugh,” I spit. “Joshua- Joshua says it’ll blow over soon.”

“Just so you’re aware,” Nikki continues. “I was hanging out with Sarah and the girls last night, and they were all talking about it, especially Dannii… I hope you’re prepared for if they bring it up today…”

“Joshua put out a statement last night,” I say. “And I’m guessing you know that this second bag of breakfast is for Viks? I’m hoping I can get her to do most of the talking.”

“I can always accompany you onto the set as well if you want a third voice backing you up,” Nikki offers, making me giggle happily. A short while later, we pick up Viks, who slides into the car and immediately tucks into her own breakfast.

“Hi Jamie, Hi Nikki!” Viks giggles happily between bites of her bagel. “Thanks for inviting me along today, I was going to spend today doing wedding planning…”

“Ah, sorry I dragged you away from that,” I grimace. “Especially as you’ve been engaged nine months and haven’t done ANY planning from what I can tell so far…”

“Hey, I picked out a maid of honour, didn’t I?” Viks complains.

“Your oldest and closest friend?” I retort. “That much have taken LOADS of planning!” Nikki and I giggle as Viks sticks her tongue out at me.

“Anyway, Jon understands,” Viks says. “I saw that article on the sidebar of shame yesterday, we both figured that you’d need my help more. Jamie… What exactly happened?”

“Ugh, long story,” I moan as we head to the studio, where Viks and I relax in our Nikki-approved changing room. After changing into our posh designer dresses, the two of us head onto the set where we’re greeted by the two hosts. Every time I go to an interview or a photoshoot with Viks, I’m amazed by how much the girl has changed in just two years. When Hannah first introduced her to us, she was shy and nervous, clearly intimidated by hanging out with ‘personalities’ like myself or the other Angels, but now… Now she’s probably the biggest ‘personality’ of all of us, bubbly, outgoing… I’m so happy I have a friend like Viks.

Already laid out on the table on the set, ready for its TV debut, is one of the new products Joshua mentioned in his phone call yesterday- a ‘mystery box’ that people receive by a monthly subscription that’s been filled with various cosmetics, fashion & beauty products and other Angel-branded trinkets. It’s aimed at people around Nikki’s age- girls in their late teens- but Nikki’s told me she’s been plugging it to some of her younger teenagers, all of whom are excited by the idea, so hopefully this should generate a lot of extra income for me and the other Angels!

“Welcome back,” Alan- one of the show’s hosts- says to the camera. “We have two special guests joining us now for a quick chat, please welcome, from ITV2’s hit reality show the Angels, Jamie-Lee Burke and Victoria Brooks!”

“Thank you,” Viks and I both reply in a soft, respectful voice.

“Now you’re here today to promote your new product, which we have here on the table,” Sian- the other host- says. “Tell us a little bit about what it entails.”

“Well it’s very straightforward, really,” I giggle, leaning forward and expertly demonstrating some of the contents of the box. “For just £15 each month, we’ll send you a mystery box filled with some of our- The Angels’- favourite cosmetics, as well as fashion and beauty products like nail polishes, hair accessories, you’ll also get exclusive reviews of the latest trends written by the six of us.”

“It sounds amazing that you could get all this for just £15 a month,” Alan says, making Viks and I smile.

“Well, we’ve been working with manufacturers and suppliers,” Viks explains. “They give us a discount on their product, and in return we promote it each month in our mystery boxes.”

“All the products we include in the box come with our personal seal of approval,” I say. “We wouldn’t include anything in there that we wouldn’t wear- or haven’t worn- ourselves.”

“My favourite black nail polish is going to be included in the first month- oops,” Viks mock-giggles. “Shouldn’t REALLY have given that away…” I giggle with Viks as the two presenters share a good-natured laugh.

“Full details of the mystery box can be found at the Angels’ official website, the address for which is on-screen now,” Sian says to the camera, before turning back to myself and Viks. “But that’s not all we want to talk about today!” Please don’t talk about yesterday, I think to myself.

“Yes,” Alan says, leaning forward in his chair. “We understand that there will soon be a new reality show, a spin-off of the Angels, is this correct?”

“That’s right,” I say, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. “This series is going to focus on the lives- mostly the work lives- of some of the flight attendants who work for Soixante-Trois Airlines, who recently opened a new hub at Heathrow airport.”

“This is the airline that mostly hires transgendered flight attendants, isn’t it?” Sian asks.

“Yes,” I say, squirming a little at the sensitive nature of the question- though the question could, obviously, be much, much worse. “I’d be lying if I said that was a total coincidence, but Joshua- our manager- has been looking to expand the brand for some time now, and he met with the CEO of Soixante-Trois lately, who loved the idea of the show.”

“Will the show be focussing on a specific group of women, like your show,” Alan asks, “or will it concentrate on a different group of women each episode?”

“We’re not 100% sure yet,” Viks answers. “We’ve just started filming for the show, and if any ‘personalities’ emerge, the show will probably offer them greater focus.”

“A lot of our viewers will want to know: Will there be any chance of any crossover episodes between your show and the new show?” Sian asks.

“Definitely,” I say with a smile, making everyone on-set giggle. “The show should be broadcast early next year, just before series 3 of the Angels.”

“We’ll look forward to watching it,” Sian says with a smile.

“Before we let you go,” Alan says, making me inwardly curse. “A lot of people who follow you will know that yesterday you were spotted arriving at a local police station in the back of a police car- do you have any comment to make?”

“Nothing beyond the official statement that’s already been put out,” I say coldly.

“Many of your fans, those who look up to you, will want to know whether or not you’re facing any criminal charges,” Sian asks.

“I’m not,” I say bluntly. “As I said in the statement, I was not arrested and I have not been charged with any crime.” If you bring up my possession charge in the past, oh boy, will there be fireworks… I think to myself.

“Well, I’m sure that regardless, there will be thousands of girls nationwide who are looking forward to the first Angel mystery box,” Sian says, smiling and making me breathe a sigh of relief.

“Not to mention two new seasons of the Angels next year!” Alan says, making me force a giggle past my mouth.

“Jamie-Lee Burke, Victoria Brooks, thank you for your time,” Sian says. After the director calls ‘cut’, I quickly shake hands with both of the interviewers before heading straight to the dressing room with Viks. Once I’m satisfied that the door is closed, I take a deep breath.

“FUCK!” I yell angrily, startling Viks. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Fuck my aunt!”

“Thanks, but I’d rather not,” Viks laughs, placing a calming hand on my shoulder. “God, Jamie, you- you’re really stressed out over this police thing…”

“Ugh- god, I’m sorry, Viks…” I moan. “It’s not just the police thing, or my aunt… It’s everything. My dad’s taking early retirement, I hardly see you or any of the girls outside of work or anything that’s pre-arranged, Stuart’s going to be in hospital for weeks…”

“Aww,” Viks sighs, giving me a much-needed hug. “Well if your dad retires, you’ll be able to spend more time with him, right? And as for me and the girls, if you want to hang out, you only need to ask! I could use a hand with all this wedding planning I’m NOT doing! And as for Stuart… Yes, he’ll be in hospital for weeks and recovering for months, just as you were, but isn’t the whole point of the surgery that you’ll then be ‘complete’ for decades?”

“Well- yes, I guess…” I sigh. “Assuming I’m still with Stuart when he’s recovered enough for us to, well, you know…”

“Don’t you love him?” Viks asks.

“Of course I do,” I sigh. “I love him more than I’ve ever loved any man… But he- ugh. Take it from someone who knows, SRS is a BIG change. Hell, before my SRS, I never thought that Stuart and I could be ‘compatible’, now I can’t imagine life with anyone else… What if Stuart, you know, thinks differently after his SRS?”

“He WON’T,” Viks says firmly. “He adores you, everyone knows that! He was there for you when you recovered, and you’ll be there for him, and you’ll be together- and having your freaky ‘inverted sex’- for years to come!”

“We are NOT calling it ‘inverted sex’!” I say, giggling as I change back into my minidress from earlier today. “It’s just sex, simple as, between a man and a woman. And I really, really can’t wait!” Viks giggles as she also changes back into the skirt and top she wore to the studio, before we leave the dressing room, helping Nikki to carry all the gear from the studio back to the Angelmobile.

“Goddd…” I sigh as I collapse down in the back seat of the bright pink cab. “I just want today to be OVER already!”

“I saw,” Nikki grimaces. “Never winced so hard at an interview…”

“Just be thankful you weren’t in the dressing room afterward!” Viks giggles, making me cringe as I take my phone out of my bag.

“God, I’m going to be apologising for that for month,” I giggle, turning on my phone to find- as always- a voicemail from my mum. “Mind- mind if I-“

“Go right ahead,” Viks says, making me smile as I redial my mum’s number.

“Hello?” Mum says after only two rings. “Jamie, is that you?”

“Yep!” I reply happily. “I take it you were watching…”

“You handled it very maturely,” mum says. “That was bang out of line for the presenters to put you on the spot like that. ‘Will want to know’ indeed, tsk…”

“Well- it’s done,” I say. “Have you spoken to Aunt Sally yet?”

“Not yet,” mum says. “I’ll try again tomorrow, have to see if your Aunt Sonia has an up to date number for her, and of course, she’s in Australia so I can’t simply call her any time of the day…”

“Well, there’s no rush, I guess,” I say. “Not like Nina and Annalise are going to be able to come to the party anyway…”

“You never know,” mum says. “Annalise WILL be eighteen soon, I’m sure she’d love to go on one of your famous nights out, and whilst London’s big, I reckon the odds of your two being in the same club at the same time aren’t that big…”

“Ooh, sneaky, I like it!” I giggle.

“Oh, and Stuart called here,” mum says. “Asked me to ask you to call him.”

“Funny, he didn’t leave a voicemail,” I say. “Probably knew I wouldn’t be able to answer as I was on-screen, I dunno. I’ll call him now. My love to you and dad.”

“Take care, Jamie,” mum says as I disconnect the call and press the speed dial for Stuart’s number.

“Hi Jamie,” Stuart says with an oddly eager voice. “I saw your interview… That really sucked, what they did.”

“Eh, it’s in the past,” I say. “So what’s so important that you couldn’t leave a voicemail and had to call my mum?”

“I, um… I need to see you,” Stuart says. “Face to face… This isn’t something I’m really comfortable discussing over the phone, especially as I assume you’re still with Viks and Nikki?”

“Yes…” I say, worry starting to creep into my voice. What’s so important he can’t tell me over the phone? I think to myself. He- he can’t be breaking up with me BEFORE his SRS, surely…?

“Please,” Stuart says softly. “If you could get over here as fast as possible, please…”

“Of course,” I say. “I love you…”

“I love you too,” Stuart says, disconnecting the call. A short while later, Nikki drops me off at Stuart’s door step, and I take a brief second to catch my breath and straighten my dress before letting myself in.

“Oh, hi Jamie,” Ray says in a subdued voice. “Stuart’s in the living room, he- he’s waiting for you…” With my hands starting to tremble with nerves and fear, I step into the living room and am immediately greeted by a long, tight hug from Stuart.

“Stu…” I sigh as we sit down together. “What- what’s happened?”

“…This isn’t easy to say,” Stuart sighs, making my heart beat faster and faster. No, I think to myself. Don’t break up with me, please, no, no, no…

“What’s wrong?” I whisper, barely holding back tears.

“I- I just had a call from the hospital,” Stuart says. “It’s about my SRS…” Inwardly, I breathe a sigh of relief- our relationship isn’t under threat, but whatever’s happening with Stuart’s SRS, it’s enough to make him petrified- not that I wasn’t before my own SRS…

“What happened?” I ask. “Have- have they cancelled it?”

“The opposite,” Stuart whispers. “They’ve had a cancellation, they’ve offered to bring it forward…”

“…To when?” I ask.

“…Monday,” Stuart says, making me sigh and rest my head on his shoulder. “I mean, it’d get it over and done with sooner, and if I don’t accept the operation, I’m still booked in for next month, and I’ve stopped taking the hormones so I AM ready, I can accept Monday, I just- just- ugh. I’d have to go into hospital on Sunday, and that’s the day after your birthday… I don’t want to do that to you, not on that day of all days…”

“You should take it,” I say.

“But- but you-“ Stuart stutters.

“It’s what you’ve wanted all your life,” I whisper. “I’ll have other birthdays, but I’ll never have another you…”

“But this week’s been so crappy for you already,” Stuart sighs. “First Mary, then your dad, then the thing with the police… I’d be a piss-poor boyfriend if I just added to that list.”

“I’d be a piss-poor girlfriend for getting in the way of a lifelong dream!” I say, giggling despite my conflicted emotions. As much as I want Stuart to be happy, he IS right- this week’s been so terrible so far, Stuart’s been my only consistent source of comfort, and the thought of him being in hospital for weeks, even though I knew it was coming, isn’t one I want to think about right now. But it is HIS decision, his life, his operation, and he needs my support just as much as I need his…

“I’ve already waited nine and a half years,” Stuart argues.

“Long enough,” I say, giving Stuart a long, deep kiss that he happily reciprocates.

“I really, really don’t deserve a girlfriend as amazing as you,” Stuart sighs, wrapping his arms around my slender body. “I love you so, so much…”

“I love you too,” I whisper. We remain on the sofa for another half hour, not talking, just holding each other, loving each other, before eventually breaking the news about Stuart’s SRS to his parents, who react with external happiness, but I can tell that inside, they’re just as conflicted as I am about the news. After a quick conference call with Joshua and Mikey- about covering Stuart’s work whilst he’s in hospital- we head back to my home, where we’re greeted by the sound of Keith junior crying.

“Charlotte?” I ask, wincing slightly at the loud wails of the tiny boy.

“Hi Jamie,” a slightly exhausted-looking Eilish says, coming out of the kitchen. “Hi Stuart, sorry about the row, little Keithy’s running a fever…”

“Oh no,” I moan. “Is- is Charlotte with him?”

“Of course,” Eilish says. “Came straight back from her shopping trip the second I called her. She says this is the first time the little boy’s been sick, poor kid…”

“As if you didn’t have enough on your plate,” Stuart whispers to me as we head into the living room, where Charlotte is busy attending to her son.

“This is about them, not me,” I whisper to Stuart, before crouching down next to Charlotte.

“Hey Jay,” Charlotte says, her voice quivering with worry. “Sorry about the crying…”

“He can cry as much as he wants,” I say, placing my hand on the tiny baby’s red-hot forehead. “Have you called the doctor?”

“Not yet,” Charlotte moans. “I- I want to take him to hospital, but Eilish says I should wait and see if he shows any more symptoms… She reckons it’s just a reaction to a shot he got last week, but I don’t want to risk it…”

“You’re his mother,” I say. “That means that you have final say. If you want to take him to hospital, you should.”

“Sorry to dump this on you as well,” Charlotte moans.

“No- his welfare must come first, always,” I say, giving Charlotte a gentle hug.

“Eilish,” Charlotte calls. “I’ve made up my mind, we’re going to the hospital.”

“Are you absolutely sure?” The Irishwoman says. “There may not be much they can do beyond telling you that he needs rest, I doubt they’ll prescribe antibiotics…”

“I don’t want to risk it,” Charlotte says, her voice trembling as she wraps her bawling son up and carries him out to the car.

“Okay,” Eilish says. “You’re the boss…”

“I’ll text Keith,” Stuart says, getting out his phone. “Let him know what’s happening…”

“Thanks, Stu,” Charlotte says, before she and Eilish drive away in her people carrier.

“Poor kid,” Stuart sighs. “Eilish is right, the doctors will probably send him home and tell Charlotte to monitor him in case things get worse. I remember when I was younger, Becca used to get sick loads… But this really isn’t something you needed, given everything that’s happened this week… I can- I can call the hospital back, say I’ve changed my mind-“

“Don’t you dare,” I whisper, clinging tightly to Stuart’s body as we head back indoors, where we spend the rest of the evening reading- me for my university course, Stuart for his upcoming operation. Charlotte, Eilish and the still-crying Keith junior arrive home in the early evening with doctor’s orders to watch the tiny baby through the night, but he’s still clearly distressed as Stuart and I head to bed just after 10pm, meaning that the two of us skip sex (even though we won’t get many more opportunities before Stuart’s operation) and instead fall asleep in each other’s arms.

When I wake up, the baby boy isn’t crying any more, merely sleeping, but Charlotte is still awake, looking frazzled from staying up all night caring for her son.

“Hey Jay,” Charlotte yawns as I emerge from my room, having showered, applied my make-up and dressed in a plain black top, tartan miniskirt, black tights and knee-high boots.

“Hey Charlie,” I say, giving the young mother a quick hug. “No offence, but you look like crap… How’s Keith junior?”

“Sleeping, finally,” Charlotte moans. “Poor kid was up most of the night but his temperature has gone down a little…”

“Well that’s good, right?” I say with a smile. “What time’s Eilish getting here?”

“She never left!” Charlotte chuckles. “Spent last night on the sofa… We REALLY don’t pay that girl enough.”

“She is made of solid gold,” I chuckle as Charlotte and I head downstairs. “I- I can cancel my plans for today if you’d rather I stayed home…”

“No, no no no,” Charlotte moans. “You’ve had a crappy enough birthday week as it is, you go out and enjoy yourself. Obviously I’ll need to stay home, though…”

“You put that boy first, always,” I say, giving Charlotte a quick hug. “Even if you have to miss tomorrow, it’s not a problem. With Keith junior being sick he doesn’t want loads of people milling around anyway, I’ll call my parents, get the party moved to their place, I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“…Thank you,” Charlotte says, returning my hug. “I picked the right godmother! Now you go, enjoy yourself!” I giggle as Charlotte heads back up to the nursery, watching over her son as he sleeps. After Stuart wakes up, we both leave the house, taking the time to say goodbye to the stirring Eilish before going. After I drop Stuart at work, I swing round to Viks’s and Krystie’s apartments and pick them up before heading into the centre of London.

“No offence, Jamie,” Krystie laughs. “But next year, could you have your birthday during a week when everything ISN’T falling apart for the Angels?”

“Or, in the case of your boyfriend, ‘coming together’?” Viks giggles.

“I will be SO happy when this week is over,” I laugh. “And then the next two weeks, when Stuart gets out of hospital, and then his recovery period…”

“Will it be as long as yours?” Krystie asks.

“Longer,” I sigh. “There’s a lot more than needs to recover, he needs to start gaining sensation in, well, ‘it’…”

“You never thought about having one put back on?” Krystie laughs, earning snorts of derision from both myself and Viks.

“HELL no,” I say. “Vaginas rule!”

“Hell yeah!” Viks laughs. “Where we heading for lunch?”

“There’s a smoothie place in Soho I’ve been meaning to check out,” I say. “They look really fattening, but I’ve been told they’re absolutely delicious, and well, it’s a one-off, my hips can afford it…”

“Not sure mine can!” Viks laughs.

“You have NEVER been ‘big’,” Krystie says. “Hope you’re finally realising that. You are going to be such a gorgeous bride, assuming you and Jon ever set a date!”

“We’re thinking of February,” Viks says. “To coincide with Valentine’s… Yes, I realise that’ll clash with Mary and Dan’s anniversary, but I’m sure they won’t mind. I’ll talk it over with them once they return from Ireland.”

“She’ll be cool with it,” Krystie says as we pull up in the car park of the small café where we’ll be eating- or rather, drinking- lunch. “Mary’s such a kind-hearted person, it’s a miracle how she ever became a model. God knows how she’ll fare in a classroom!”

“She’ll be amazing, as she always is,” I laugh. “You two get your seats, I’ll order for us.” One of the café’s speciality items is an extra-large smoothie with multiple straws for sharing between friends, so I order one of them in caramel and peanut butter flavour, along with a plate of tiny Danish pastries that Krystie and Viks immediately coo over once they’re brought to the table.

“Oh, that is just so sweet!” Viks squeaks, placing one of the tiny pastries on her tongue. “I’m REALLY going to need the gym tonight!”

“Or you could come to my class and do an hour’s dancing,” Krystie giggles, taking a sip of the smoothie.

“Think I’ll need four hours after this lunch!” Viks laughs, popping another pastry in her mouth. “For my birthday, we’re hitting a salad bar!”

“For mine next year, we’re hitting a patisserie!” Krystie says, before letting out a loud cough.

“You okay?” I ask Krystie, who coughs again, even louder this time.

“Yeah,” Krystie gasps, taking several scary-sounding wheezing breaths. Seconds later, almost in slow motion, the tall girl slumps forward in her seat, her face turning pale, before collapsing to the floor clutching the top of her chest.

“Oh my god!” I scream, jumping out of my chair in a state of panic. “Krys! Krys! What’s happening?”

“Krys!” Viks screams, crouching down beside the stricken blonde girl. “Jamie, get me Krys’s handbag!” My hands shake with terror as ugly red blotches start appearing on Krystie’s face and hands and she gasps for air, clearly barely able to breathe. I just about manage to hand the bag to Viks, who tips its entire contents on the floor, quickly locating a small, thumb-sized device. In one swift, smooth motion, Viks tears a hole in the top of Krystie’s tights, exposing her bare thigh, before taking the top off of the device she found and driving into the bare skin.

“Hold her still,” Viks commands me as she holds the small tube against Krystie’s legs. Nervously, I hold Krystie down by the waist, and as if by magic, within seconds her breathing stabilises, though it is clearly still very laboured, her face is still blotchy and her lips have swollen to almost twice their normal size.

“I’m calling for an ambulance,” Viks says, removing the tube from Krystie’s leg. “Krys, can you hear me?” Still wheezing, Krystie nods her head, before looking at me with a look of confusion, as if to say ‘how could you do this to me?’. Within minutes, the ambulance arrives, and as I watch on, terror still flowing through my veins, Krystie is fitted with an oxygen mask and loaded onto a gurney before being wheeled into the back of the ambulance and driven away.

“What. The. Fuck. Was that?” I whisper as I sit down in my seat, my legs still quivering.

“Krystie must have some kind of food allergy,” Viks sighs, taking a sip of the smoothie. “Mmph, peanut butter, that’d be it… Has she never mentioned having any allergies before?”

“No, never,” I say, trying to think back to whether or not Krystie had ever mentioned any food allergies. I’m sure I’ve eaten something with peanut in it before when she’s been around, but she does usually order different things to everyone whenever we eat out of get takeaway… Is this why?

“What was that thing you got out of her bag?” I ask.

“Figured if she was that deathly allergic, she’d have an epipen,” Viks shrugs, continuing to sip the smoothie but not eating any more of the mini pastries. “Just a dose of a drug to counteract the allergic reaction.”

“Wow, you really are a genius!” I chuckle, before sighing again. “Unlike me, the one who nearly gets Krystie killed…”

“Ugh, Jamie-“ Viks sighs. “You didn’t know. Should you have known? I don’t know that!”

“I guess,” I sigh, my appetite having suddenly disappeared. “God, I’m going to have to call everyone to let them know, that’ll be a nice surprise for Mary when she gets out of her aunt’s funeral…”

“I’ll call Nikki, get her to post on Krystie’s class’s wall,” Viks says. “Don’t, do NOT blame yourself for this, Jamie. Accidents happen.”

“Yeah, they’ve been happening a lot this week,” I sigh. About half an hour, Viks and I leave the café, having called or texted everyone to let them know about Krystie. After dropping Viks off at her apartment, I head home, and am once again greeted by the sound of Keith junior crying in distress.

“Hi Jamie,” Eilish says, her make-up free face displaying the full extent of her fatigue. “The little one’s still poorly, he’s getting better but, well, you can hear…”

“Poor little thing,” I moan. “It’s like everything I touch nowadays turns to shit…”

“Yeah, I heard about your friend, the dance teacher,” Eilish sighs. “I told Charlotte she could go and visit her, but she doesn’t want to leave little Keithy…”

“Can’t blame her,” I sigh. “I- I’m going to go and lie down for a bit, shout me if you need me for anything…” I wearily drag myself up the stairs to my room, where I take off my boots and collapse on my bed and let out a long, weary sigh. As I’m on the opposite corner of the house to Keith junior, his cries aren’t that loud, but I can still hear them- ironic considering that Charlotte put the nursery where she did because I’m apparently too loud when I’m ‘crying’…

I must have fallen asleep at some point as I’m woken by the sound of a new Facebook message arriving on my phone. Blinking the tiredness out of my eyes, I check my phone, and moan when I discover that the message is from Krystie giving details of her hospital. I sigh as I pull my boots back on, and bid farewell to Charlotte, Keith junior and Eilish before heading back down to my car, quickly making my way to the hospital where Krystie is resting. I sigh sadly as I enter my friend’s private room and see her laid in bed in her hospital gown- the swelling on her face has gone down, but she is still pale, blotchy and clearly very sore.

“Hey,” I say to Krystie, who weakly smiles at me.

“Hey,” Krystie weakly whispers.

“I am so, so sorry,” I plead, sitting down next to Krystie and gently cradling her hand. “I had no idea, I mean, we’ve been friends for four years, I should have known, I should have known…”

“Oh, shut up,” Krystie whispers, weakly coughing between giggles. “It’s not like I shout it from the rooftops or anything…”

“Does- does it hurt?” I ask, grimacing as Krystie nods.

“Made much worse by my asthma,” Krystie whispers. “I’m not even supposed to be talking, I’m going to be on antibiotics for a fortnight, can’t go back to ballet…”

“I’ll call Ellen, see if she can cover any of your lessons,” I say. “I’ll obviously pay for the expense of that.”

“Eh, I know some teachers who can cover for me,” Krystie whispers. “Jamie… I don’t blame you. I saw the menu when I went in, I saw the colour of the drink, I should’ve asked before just diving face first into it…”

“No, it’s my fault,” I sigh. “I should’ve known…”

“Oh- just forget it, okay?” Krystie whispers, forcing a smile onto her face. “Worst part is that I’m going to miss your party tomorrow…”

“Ugh,” I spit. “REALLY can’t be bothered with it now, I just want to write off the whole birthday ‘thing’ for the year…”

“Noooo,” Krystie insists. “No, no, no… I have a feeling this might be your best birthday yet!”

“It’s going to take something pretty amazing to make up for this ‘string of disasters’ this week,” I laugh.

“There’s still time,” Krystie says with her trademark smirk. “Besides, I should be out of here on Sunday, we can celebrate then! With food that I’m NOT allergic to. And can fit through a gullet as wide as a pinhead… Speaking of pins, Mikey’s going to be REALLY angry with you…”

“What?” I ask, suddenly worried. “Why?” I frown with confusion as Krystie opens her mouth, showing me her swollen tongue.

“Tongue piercing had to be removed,” Krystie whispers. “It’ll have healed too much by the time I put it back in…”

“And that would affect Mikey how… Oh,” I say, making Krystie smile devilishly. “Didn’t realise you were a ‘down the chimney’ kind of girl!”

“Why d’you think I had the piercing done in the first place?” Krystie whispers, her smile widening and the sparkle returning to her emerald green eyes. “Tell the other girls I’ll be fine, and I’ll see them on Sunday!”

“Will do,” I laugh.

“And tell Stuart I’m keeping his bed- his hospital bed, obviously- warm for him!” Krystie whispers, making us both giggle as I leave, heading back home to find my boyfriend waiting for me on my sofa. I immediately throw myself at him, clinching him in a tight hug as he wraps his arms around me.

“How’s Krystie?” Stuart asks as we sit down together on the sofa.

“She’s… Well, she’s Krystie,” I sigh happily. “She’ll bounce back, I feel really guilty about it, though…”

“You’ve been friends with her for four years and didn’t know about her nut allergy?” Stuart asks, making me frown.

“You have this real talent for knowing exactly the WRONG thing to say,” I say, making Stuart laugh apologetically and hold me tighter.

“That’s part of why you love me, right?” Stuart asks, making me laugh.

“Well, it IS part of who you are…” I say. “So, yes, I guess it is part of why I love you!” I smile as I give Stuart a slow, soft kiss and relax into his embrace, where I stay for the rest of the evening. I still have reading to do for my course, and Stuart still has some last-minute work to do for his album, but for tonight, all that matters is each other. We head to bed just after 11pm, our lips pressed against each other and our bodies intertwined as we explore each other's most intimate regions.

I moan softly as the sunlight filters through my curtains, gently illuminating my bedroom and waking me from my slumber.

“Morning, Jamie,” Stuart whispers into my ear. “Happy birthday!” I smile as Stuart gently nibbles my earlobe and nuzzles my neck until I finally wake fully. It doesn't take long for Stuart's nibbles to find their way down my neck and I gasp as his small, expert fingers find their way onto my stiffening nipples, before delving even further down my trembling body...

With my body glistening with sweat and tingling all over, I climb out of bed and head into my shower, where I sigh as the hot water cascades over my naked form. I’d gone from excitedly looking forward to my birthday to dreading what other disaster it will bring, but now it’s here… I just feel content, and the main reason is the young man still laid in my bed when I emerge from the shower. After giving him a soft kiss and allowing him to shower off his sex sweat, I sit down in front of my dressing table and apply my very best make-up for the day, before pulling on my favourite lace bra and thong set, a pair of sheer hold-up stockings and a slinky electric blue knee-length dress with narrow shoulder straps the only just disguise my bra. After slipping my feet into a pair of matching stilettos and repainting my nails the same colour as my dress, I wait for Stuart to leave the shower and finish dressing, before linking my fingers with his and heading downstairs, where Charlotte and a much healthier-looking Keith junior are waiting for us, stood next to a massive pile of presents on the sofa.

“Happy birthday!” Charlotte squeaks, giving me a long hug. “That dress looks SO good on you… I was kinda planning on having everyone here ready to surprise you, but with Keith junior still feeling under the weather, thought it’d be best not to bombard him with any more germs!”

“That’s… A lot more sensible than you were when we first met!” I giggle, returning Charlotte’s hug. “Are all those presents for me?”

“Do you know anybody else born on September 19th?” Charlotte giggles. “Don’t wait, get stuck in! All the Angels’ presents are there, as well as Nikki & Sarah’s gang’s presents and Out of Heaven’s. I figured your parents would probably want to give you their presents themselves!” I giggle excitedly as I follow Charlotte’s instructions and unwrap present after present. Obviously, most of the presents are clothes- a new skirt and a new dress from Sarah’s shop, as well as a few other bespoke pieces, some dancewear from Krystie and some more ‘intimate’ items from Stuart. I also get plenty of cosmetics from all the girls and some jewellery, including a ‘best godmother ever’ brooch supposedly from Kristina-Leigh and Keith junior! After giving Stuart and Charlotte one more long hug each (and giving my godson a gentle cuddle) I plop down on the sofa next to my gifts and grab a few selfies for my Instagram account.

“Thank you both so, so much for all this,” I sigh as Stuart sits down next to me and wraps an arm around my waist. “Even despite this week that’s just gone, I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Good,” Stuart says, giving me a kiss on the side of the head.

“Definitely,” Charlotte says. “You’ve done so much for me over these last four years, you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“Oh my god, you guys,” I blub, my eyes filling with tears as Charlotte and Stuart give me another hug. I spend the rest of the morning with my two best ever friends whilst I browse the internet on my iPad, replying to as many of the ‘happy birthday’ messages my public social media pages have received. Even when I come across a news article detailing all the bad luck that’s befallen us over the past week- with the charming headline ‘Angels of Death’- I manage to keep a smile on my face.

After a light lunch, Stuart and I bid farewell to Charlotte and Keith junior before jumping in Stuart’s car and driving the short distance to me parents’ house, where I’m greeted with yet more hugs and ‘happy birthday’s- and, of course, even more presents! My official ‘party’ starts just after dinner, though there are even fewer people present than at a normal Angels ‘girls night in’- Charlotte, Krystie and Mary are all absent, Hannah will be late thanks to dance practice and Viks is also running late due to the wedding planning she postponed from Thursday. Out of Heaven don’t stop by for long as they have a TV appearance in Manchester tomorrow, and Nikki, Sarah and their gang are all running late thanks to an open day at the university Sarah will be studying at starting next week.

After Out of Heaven depart, I grab Stuart’s hand and lead him into the otherwise-deserted kitchen, where I surprise him with a long kiss on the lips.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Stuart says, “but why, exactly?”

“For being the most consistently amazing thing in my life,” I reply. “You SHOULD be getting ready for your operation on Monday, instead, you’re here with me… Thank you. Thank you FOR you.” Stuart smiles before giving me a long, soft kiss on my lips.

“Thank YOU for you,” Stuart says, making me smile and blink back tears of happiness. “Of course, I’m going to need extra special attention whilst I recover…”

“24/7, I promise,” I say, giving my boyfriend a tight cuddle. “After this week, I’d almost panic that something might happen to you whilst you’re under the knife…”

“…But you know I’ll be in the hands of the best SRS surgeon in Europe,” Stuart says, returning my cuddle. “I’ll be fine, and I’ll be back with you as fast as I can, I promise you that. I may be a bit, well ‘lop-sided’ for a while…” I giggle as Stuart gives me a soft kiss on the forehead, before leading me back into the living room, where my guests are starting to arrive- even Charlotte via Skype on my laptop. I have a smile on my face for the rest of the evening, determined to get past any obstacle life may throw at me- even the unexpected (and uninvited) presence of my ex-boyfriend Paul Gould, who is now going out with one of Nikki’s friends (despite the eight year age gap). Eventually, once everyone has eaten and has a glass of champagne in their hands, the big, pink birthday cake is wheeled out of the kitchen with 24 lit candles pushed into the top. After Hannah and Viks drape a pink sash with the words ‘birthday girl’ over my shoulders and place a sparkling silver tiara on my head, I blow out all the candles in one go, earning a round of applause from all the guests.

“Okay,” I quietly whisper to Stuart. “Maybe this has been one of my best-ever birthdays!”

“Glad to hear it,” Stuart whispers, before taking a deep breath and gently holding my hands in his.

“Stu?” I ask, confused by my boyfriend’s sudden ‘seriousness’.

“Jamie,” Stuart says, his voice shaking with nerves. “Ever since you came into my life two years ago, every day has been better than the last. I look forward to waking up with you each morning as much as I look forward to going to bed with you every night, and I don’t want this to ever end.”

“Stu…” I whisper, my hands shaking with nerves as Stuart blinks back tears.

“You are my best friend,” Stuart continues. “You’re my lover, and you’re my soul mate. I have never been more convinced that this is the case. Jamie-Lee Burke-“

“Oh my god,” I gasp as Stuart slowly drops to one knee and pulls a small ring box out of his pocket.

“-Will you marry me?” Stuart asks as tears stream from my eyes.

“Oh my god!” I wail. “Yes! Yes, I will marry you!” Tears trickle down Stuart’s face as he stands up and the entire room cheers. Stuart and I share a long, tender kiss, before my legs start to buckle as Stuart removes the beautiful diamond ring from its box and slides it onto my finger. I barely have time to catch my breath when all, of a sudden, my parents are by my side, both giving me long, tight hugs.

“Oh my god, Jamie!” Mum blubs. Dad remains silent as he gives me his hug, clearly as choked as up as I am, but he has a big smile on his face as he also gives Stuart a brief, manly hug.

“Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie!” Hannah squeaks excitedly, almost knocking me over with her hug. “This is so amazing!”

“Eeeee!” Viks squeaks as she joins in the hug, followed by Nikki and her friends and everyone else at the party.

“This is so exciting!” Sarah giggles. “Please tell me that I get to design your wedding dress?”

“One- one step at a time!” Stuart laughs, wrapping his arm around my waist and leading me to the sofa. Tears of joy are still flowing from my eyes a minute later after I finally catch my breath, but as I stare at the ring on my finger, it all seems so unreal. I accepted Stuart’s proposal without hesitation, but now that I’ve had a minute to clear my mind… I realise that even thinking rationally, I would ALWAYS have accepted Stuart’s proposal without hesitation. He really, truly is my soul mate, and at some point in the near future, he’ll be my husband. I will be Mrs Jamie-Lee Milton…

“I, um, I don’t think I’m going to be up for giving a speech,” I say, making everyone in the room laugh. “Just three words: Best. Birthday. Ever!”

“Show us the ring!” Hannah insists, and cheers go up from the room as I oblige.

“So beautiful,” Nikki sighs in an almost sad tone.

“Almost as gorgeous as mine,” Viks giggles.

“Yeah,” Jonathan concurs with a happy giggle. “You do know that as far as your wedding goes, you’re in a queue, right?”

“Hurry up and get hitched, then,” Stuart says, making the whole room laugh. For the rest of the party, everybody almost forgets that it’s my birthday- even as they eat my cake- instead focussing on the engagement. The last guests leave just after midnight, leaving me alone with my parents and my new fiancé.

“It’s still almost too good to be true,” dad sighs as he flops down into his chair. “I will admit, when I first found out about you being- well, you, and being, you know, a heterosexual woman, I had it in the back of my mind one day that you’d eventually find someone you wanted to settle down with, and that thought terrified me. It just all seemed so… Wrong, so ‘unnatural’… But then you introduced Stuart to us, and I honestly can’t think of a better husband for you.”

“Or a better son-in-law for us!” Mum laughs. “I know the two of you will be so happy together.”

“Thanks Mark, thanks Susan,” Stuart says. “I’m happy to become part of your family!”

“Speaking of,” dad laughs. “You’ll need to formally introduce Jamie to your family as your fiancée! We should get together one day for a meal, the two families, to celebrate the engagement…”

“Dad!” I laugh. “It’s 12:30am, it’s too late to be making plans like that, I just want to go to bed…” Dad chuckles as I rest my head on my fiancé’s shoulder as a sad thought fills my mind. “It’s going to be the last time for a while that we get to sleep together…”

“Heh, you two go, we’ll tidy up down here,” dad chuckles as I give my parents one more hug each before heading to bed hand-in-hand with my new fiancé. Even though it’s our last chance to make love- last EVER chance for the type of sex Stuart and I have been having- we both quickly fall asleep, and are awake early the following morning- we have a lot of people to tell the good news to, after all!

“Morning, engaged couple!” Mum laughs as Stuart and I walk downstairs hand-in-hand, having showered and dressed in the same clothes we wore last night. “Sleep well?”

“Like babies,” I sigh, staring at the new ring on my left hand. “It still seems… Unreal.”

“Ooh, no, it is real,” Stuart giggles, giving me a kiss. “If you’re talking ‘unreal’, imagine how I’m going to feel this time next week…”

“Ah yes,” mum says. “Your big day… Such a shame you won’t be able to spend even 24 hours as an engaged couple before you have to go into hospital.”

“We’re going to have DECADES together,” I say, cuddling Stuart close to me. “I can spare him for a few days."

“I remember when you were in hospital,” mum sighs. “Stuart would visit you every other day… You weren’t even going out at the time but I knew you two would be perfect together. And guess what? I was right!”

“Yes, yes, you were right,” I giggle. “Where’s dad?”

“Still sleeping!” Mum laughs. “He was up all night working on his ‘father of the bride’ speech… He was so excited when he realised he’d get to walk you down the aisle!”

“He… He could be waiting a while!” Stuart laughs. “I do want to be ‘done’ and ‘working’ before we tie the knot, after all.”

“Of course, of course,” mum says. “Don’t need any details of what you have planned for your wedding NIGHT, after all! You two had better get home, I could see how excited Charlotte was getting on your laptop screen- I assume, of course, she’ll be your maid of honour?”

“Of course!” I laugh. “I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow, need to cart my presents and what’s left of my cake home… God, we’re going to have to start house-hunting soon, too…”

“One. Step. At a time!” Stuart says, making me giggle. “I’ll see you soon, Susan.”

“See you soon, ‘son’!” Mum laughs as we leave.

“Stu…” I say quietly as we get in my fiancé’s car. “Did- did you only propose because of your brought-forward operation?”

“No,” Stuart says after a brief pause. “I had planned on asking you on your birthday this whole time… I’ve had the ring since July, it used to be my grandmother’s.”

“It’s amazing,” I say, inspecting the ring yet again. “Regardless of the circumstances… I’d always have said yes.”

“I can’t help but wonder,” Stuart sighs. “In another life… Whether or not ‘James’ and ‘Claire’ would have been soul mates?”

“’James’ and ‘Claire’… Never really existed,” I say. “I like to think that our ‘souls’, or whatever you want to call them, have always been ‘Jamie-Lee’ and ‘Stuart’, and it just took us some time to figure that out. We’d always have found our way together eventually. We’ve passed every test put in front of us, after all.”

“With an even bigger one coming tomorrow,” Stuart sighs. “And several more over the coming few months… Such a pain it can’t just be ‘done in one’ like your SRS, but I want the whole, well, ‘package’…”

“You deserve the whole ‘package’,” I say with a smile. “And I won’t mind any scars, or any ‘extra help’ we’ll need for me to, well, ‘use’ your ‘package’…” Stuart and I giggle devilishly as we pull up outside Charlotte’s vast home. When we open the front door, however, both Stuart and I gasp at the scene- there are balloons and streamers all over the entrance hall and a massive banner hanging from the landing that reads ‘CONGRATULATIONS’ and had a picture of two entwined gold rings.

“Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie!” Charlotte squeaks, rushing forward and giving me a tight hug as Eilish giggles in the background, cradling Keith junior in her arms. “Show me the ring! Show me the ring!” I giggle as I hold up my hand, which Charlotte almost tears off in her eagerness to inspect the ring. “Stuart, you have SUCH good taste…”

“My granddad has good taste,” Stuart giggles. “It’s a family heirloom, can’t think of any better finger to put it on than the woman I love.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Charlotte sighs. “Now, more importantly, Jamie, have you-“

“Yes, of course you’re going to be my maid of honour!” I laugh, making Charlotte cheer and wrap me in yet another tight hug. “Really, who else could it have been?”

“This is so amazing!” Charlotte squeaks. “I am going to give you the BEST hen night ever!”

“You seem to have done a hell of a job on what I assume is meant to be an engagement party?” Stuart asks.

“I know, I know you’ll be in hospital tonight so the ACTUAL engagement party will have to wait,” Charlotte says. “But I figured something like this needed celebrating! When are you ‘making it official’ on Facebook?”

“Once we’ve told everyone,” I say. “Got to see Krystie next, then Mary and Dan when they get back from the airport, then Stuart’s family…”

“What- what about Keith?” Charlotte asks. “Have you chosen a best man yet?”

“Umm…” Stuart says. “Uhh… Not yet. Probably Mikey, I dunno.”

“Nervous about your operation?” Charlotte asks, sighing as Stuart nods. “Well, once you’re recovered, you’ll have plenty of time to plan the single best celebrity wedding this country has ever seen!” I giggle happily as I give Charlotte another hug, before hugging Eilish- who is also full of congratulations for myself and Stuart- and giving Keith junior a gentle cuddle before getting back in Stuart’s car and heading to our next destination- Heathrow Airport.

“There they are,” Stuart says, pointing at the familiar sight of a tall, well-built dark-haired man, his petite blonde wife and their tiny infant daughter in her buggy.

“Hey! Mary!” I yell, attracting the Irish woman’s attention, who hurries over to us with a smile on her face.

“Hey Jamie!” Mary says, giving me a quick hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Just wanted to welcome you home in person,” I sigh. “How was Ireland?”

“Same as always,” Mary sighs. “The funeral was okay, the old girl got a good enough send-off… We’re just on our way to see Krystie, worried for a second that I’d leave one funeral in Ireland just to come to another one in England… Thank god she had her epipen with her, I’ve had enough of funerals for now…”

“I can definitely understand that,” I sigh, before holding up my left hand. “How are you for weddings, though?” I giggle as Mary’s eyes go wide and her jaw drops, before she launches herself at me in a tight, excited hug.

“Oh, Jamie Jamie Jamie!” Mary squeaks. “This is so awesome! Have you set a date yet? Have you chosen bridesmaids? How did Stuart propose?”

“No, some and in the most romantic way possible!” I giggle as Mary fans her face with her hands.

“Oh my god,” Mary gasps. “I’d hoped for some good news to come home to, but this is even better than anything! Have you told Krys yet?”

“She’s next on the list!” I giggle as Dan and Stuart shake each other’s hands. Twenty minutes later, the five of us arrive at the hospital where Krystie is being treated- and the same hospital where Stuart and I will return later today. I smile as we make our way into Krystie’s private room- the 23 year old girl is looking much better than she was on Friday. The swelling has almost completely subsided, though there are still odd-coloured patches all over her body and she is still very obviously in pain. The most encouraging sign, though, is that she’s wearing normal clothes and make-up!

“Hey guys!” Krystie giggles as we enter her room. “Doctors say I can leave in a couple of hours, sorry Stu, you’re NOT going to get me as a room-mate!”

“Good,” Stuart says, prompting laughs from the whole room- especially Krystie herself.

“I’m still going to be off my feet and off work for a couple of weeks, though,” Krystie sighs. “Mary, you’ve always wanted to be a teacher…”

“…Fine,” Mary sighs. “As long as it’s nothing too complicated!”

“All my classes know what’s happening,” Krystie says with a smile. “Anyway, what’s happening with you guys? How was Ireland? How was your birthday party?”

“Ireland was same old, same old,” Mary says, giggling uncontrollably.

“…What am I missing?” Krystie asks, making me also giggle.

“My party was okay,” I say. “I got lots of presents, ate lots of cake, got engaged…” I laugh as Krystie’s eyes go wide and she stares at the beautiful ring on my finger.

“You- you- seriously?” Krystie asks. “Jamie, that’s so amazing!”

“Yeah, I kinda thought so!” I laugh. “Hope you two are up for bridesmaid duty…”

“As long as this little one also gets to be flower girl!” Mary says, gesturing to Kristina-Leigh, who giggles happily.

“Of course!” I say as Mary, Krystie and I share a group hug, a gentle one on account of Krystie’s sore body. Mary and her family stick around with Krystie a while longer, but Stuart and I leave, our remaining time running low whilst we still have one very important group of people to inform about the engagement.

“Hi mum, hi dad,” Stuart says as he lets himself into his family home. “Sorry we’re a bit late…”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Stuart’s mother says. “I’ve done all your packing for you, as always…”

“Thanks,” Stuart says. “Hi Becca, how was Manchester?”

“Same as always,” Becca moans. “Lauren hogging all the limelight… How was the party after I left?”

“It was okay,” I say, desperately trying (and failing) to keep a straight face.

“…What aren’t you telling us?” Stuart’s mum asks.

“Oh, nothing,” I say, sweeping my hair back with my left hand. I giggle as Becca’s jaw slowly drops, but nerves start to threaten to take over- of all the people in Stuart’s family, Becca is probably the least approving of my relationship, so there’s no telling how she’ll react to the news of our engagement…

“Oh. My. God!” Becca squeaks, a wide grin quickly growing on her face. “You- you two?”

“Yep!” I say happily.

“This is so amazing!” Becca squeaks, jumping up and giving Stuart a long, tight hug. I try not to bristle as Becca completely blanks me, but in fairness, Stuart IS her brother, it makes sense that she’d go to him first…

“Marvellous news!” Stuart’s mother says, giving me an awkward hug. “Ray! Get down here!”

“What’s up?” Stuart’s father asks, before seeing the ring on my finger and breaking out in a wide, genuine grin. “So you asked her, son!”

“I did!” Stuart says as his father gives him a firm handshake. “And, obviously, she said yes!”

“Well, welcome to the Milton family!” Ray says, giving me a much looser handshake than he gave to his son.

“Thanks,” I giggle. “Thank you for having me!”

“You’re probably the best partner we could have hoped for for Stu,” Ray says with a chuckle. “Obviously I’m going to miss being the one to walk him down the aisle, but I DO have another daughter who isn’t married…”

“Yet!” Becca interjects, making Ray snort with laughter.

“And remind your father that it’s the father of the BRIDE who pays for the wedding!” Ray laughs.

“That’ll come as a pleasant surprise to him after he’s taken early retirement,” I chuckle.

“I’m sure we’ll be able to contribute toward it,” Stuart’s mother says, pouring a glass of wine for everyone (apart from Stuart, who needs to remain alcohol-free ahead of his operation).

“Joshua will also want to put money toward it,” Stuart says. “If only to get us to agree to let him film it!”

“I’m just thankful he isn’t filming you- well, you…” Ray says, lowering the mood in the room. “When are they expecting you at the hospital?”

“5pm,” Stuart says, his voice quivering with nerves. “Not sure what was scarier, proposing yesterday or the operation tomorrow…” Stuart giggles as I give him a soft, playful punch in his ribs, but inside, I’m nervous as well. A very short while later, I find myself back in the same hospital I visited Krystie in earlier today, only this time, it’s someone I love even more laid in the hospital bed. His operation isn’t until first thing tomorrow morning, but they want him to stay in overnight to ensure that he is nil by mouth and to ensure that his body is ready for the fairly heavy trauma it’s about to face.

I’m not sure, however, that my psyche is ready for the trauma it’ll face. I know in my head that Stuart’s been in and out of hospital plenty of times in the past, just as I have- he came through his mastectomy and hysterectomy without any complications- but this is different, this is adding, rather than subtracting, and there’s always the potential for complications. Stuart’s body may even end up not accepting the new ‘addition’, but even if that’s the case, I won’t love him any less, or want to marry him any less. One thing my birthday taught me- a lesson I seemingly need to be taught over and over again- is that no matter whether people dislike because of what I am- like my aunt- or who I am- like my future sister-in-law- I will always have enough people in my life who truly and unconditionally love me.

The following evening, I receive a phone call from Ray telling me that Stuart- the one person who will always unconditionally love me the most- is recovering from a surgery that went flawlessly. He’s still sleeping, but I know when he wakes up, I’ll be the first person he wants to see. Seeing him in bed hooked up to heart monitors and IV drips isn’t easy- just as it couldn’t have been easy to see me in the same position eighteen months ago- but a few days from now, he’ll be disconnected from all his tubes, will be up and about (to a limited extent) and ready to live his new life as the man he always wanted to be.

And he, like I, will be itching to start planning, not just for our wedding, but for the rest of our lives together.