We’d arranged with Susie that she would come over to Woodley on Thursday evening, so that she could present us with the findings of our ‘girlyness’ tests. I was also looking forward to breaking the news to her about our new flat, but had reckoned without my pesky little sister who was unable to restrain her enthusiasm and blurted it out to her at work. However, I suppose it was Julie’s money that was enabling us to move in to somewhere so nice, and I did get to tell Joe, so I couldn’t really complain. I also rang mum to confirm that I’d found somewhere affordable to live and would not now need to resort to selling my body on the streets of Nottingham, but I didn’t give too many details on the phone, promising to come over and see them later in the week instead.

Susie came back to Woodley with us after work and we proceeded to show her the brochures and tell her about the new flat and the neighbourhood. Joe had also promised to call round later in the evening, He arrived at about 8.00 pm and so we all sat down together to discuss the results.

Susie opened the proceedings. ‘Let’s begin with you Julie, as it was for your benefit that the test was designed. Between the three of us we have awarded you a score of 74%, which, given the circumstances is very good. It is also quite remarkable that we all tended to agree with one another in our assessment.’

‘Thank you,’ said Julie, looking both embarrassed and happy at the same time,

‘You’re already quite fortunate in terms of your height and weight, which are about average for a girl of your age, also your neck, shoulders, hands and feet have not grown as they would have done in a young man after puberty,’ continued Sue. ‘No doubt this is due to the pills you have been taking over the last couple of years. As you realise, your overall body shape is still rather boyish and you have to rely on padding to pass successfully as a young woman, but no doubt this will improve once you start taking oestrogen.’

‘I know,’ said Julie continuing smile shyly. ‘I can’t wait until my birthday comes and I can begin to take hormones, it’ll be the best birthday present I’ve ever had.’

Joe looked a little bemused at this and raised his eyebrows when looking at me, but didn’t say anything.

‘If my boobs haven’t grown to a decent size by the time I’m eighteen, I intend to have a boob job,’ she continued.

‘Let’s cross one bridge at a time,’ I added trying to curb her enthusiasm.

‘You’ve also scored highly with your hair and fingernails, but of course you have had them both done by an expert,’ Sue continued, pausing briefly to give us the opportunity to make disparaging comments about her, which we did. ‘Likewise you have scored highly in your use of cosmetics, which is no doubt due to the experience you’ve gained working in the salon over the last couple of weeks.’

‘Yes, it has been great fun,’ added Julie enthusiastically.

‘But we all feel that you should pay more attention to your dress sense.’

‘Oh!’ she said in a surprised voice.

‘It is not that you look like a man or anything like that, but sometimes your choice is simply too ‘girly’ for the occasion and so you stand out a little. There will be times when you want to stand out from the crowd and have everyone’s eyes on you, but on other occasions you should aim to look like a smart, businesslike or demure young lady rather than an aspiring beauty queen.’

‘Yes, I know,’ she answered sighing, ‘Jenny’s always telling me as much. But after all those years of having to wear horrible boys’ clothes, it has been nice to be able to wear something pretty over the last few weeks.’

‘We’re not suggesting that you start wearing sackcloth or drab clothes all the time, but just get the balance right between the girly, the practical, and the comfortable.’ I added.

‘I do find girly clothes comfortable to wear, because they make me feel good. But I do take your point and will try and tone things down a little in future.

‘I’m sure this will come to you quite naturally as you gain more experience living as Julie and interacting with people, and especially once the novelty of living as a girl has worn off,’ added Sue.

‘I hope it never wears off, but see, Jenny, it is important for me to get out more as Julie and not be stuck round the house all day,’ she said to me.

‘I take your point, but let’s see how you got on under the other headings,’ I replied.

‘Your voice has never broken and so you do not have any problems with your voice pitch and timbre, but of course this is only one aspect of speech and conversation. You’ll need to think about your use of vocabulary and general conversational style. Again it is probably just a question of a little more practice, and listening to the conversation of other girls of your age.’

Julie shot a smug glance in my direction, as if to say ‘I told you so!’

Susie looked again at the pile of papers in her hand.

‘In terms of your posture, gait and general body language, we found nothing that might give you away, but areas where you might look carefully at other young women.’

‘Julie got on fine with my sister last week and didn’t give herself away. Perhaps I could ask Clare if Julie could like to go out with her and her friends sometime, as they all live over the other side of Reading and would be unlikely ever to have met Julian.’

‘Oh yes please,’ said Julie. ‘I enjoyed talking to your sister. I’ve found helping out in the salon to be so useful, but of course I only get to meet older women there. That’s why I am keen to get out more so that I can also interact with guys as well.’

‘I think you are still a bit too young, and your life is a bit too complicated as it is to be worrying about guys,’ I answered primly, realising that it sounded a bit pompous and indeed a little hypocritical given some of the things I used to get up to as a fifteen year old. But there was still the issue of what would happen if the neighbours, and then the authorities should discover about her lifestyle whilst she was still a minor.

‘In the past you’ve never gave me any clue that you were anything other than a normal genetic girl,’ added Joe. ‘Even since I’ve known, and have been watching you more carefully, I find it impossible to think of you as anything else. No doubt there’ll come a time when you will meet someone and want to form a closer relationship. When that happens, you’ll have to ‘play it by ear’, but will probably know instinctively how to behave.’

‘I hope so, but I feel so frustrated. I feel as if I have been kept in a cage for the last fifteen years and I can’t wait to be set free to live my own life as a woman.’

‘You could be free to be your own woman at any time after your sixteenth birthday, but I rather got the impression that you wanted my help and companionship,’ I added.

‘Don’t get me wrong Jenny, I am so grateful for everything you have done for me over the last few weeks and there is nothing I want more than to share a flat with you, but I want to do so as an equal, not some embarrassing relation who needs to be kept hidden away at home.

‘If you’ll only follow my advice and not go out on your own for the next couple of weeks, whilst we are still living at Woodley, I promise you’ll have much more freedom when we both move to Nottingham and I am at University. Also, if Joe’s sister is prepared to have you meet up with her friends sometimes that will also be alright with me.’

‘I suppose what we are saying is that you are doing very well indeed with your transition, but you are not there yet and need more practice,’ said Sue, handing over the questionnaires to Julie. ‘There are still dangers because of your youth and legal situation, but these are only temporary ones. I am sure all will be alright for you in the end, just be a little more patient.

‘I suppose you are right, and I do understand that you have my safety and well-being at heart. Thank you everybody for your advice,’ said Julie.

I went over to give her a hug.

‘Now how did Jenny get on?’

Susie seemed a little sheepish, and I could just foresee what was about to happen.

‘Are you sure you want to know Jen?’

‘Yes, quite sure. If you don’t tell me I’ll only assume that you all think I am some kind of monster’

‘Well I should begin by saying that you did agree to put yourself through this, and also designed the questions for Julie’s benefit.’

‘I know. Go on.’

‘Jen we all think you’re a lovely person, a great friend and a lot of fun to know. We also think that you’re much better looking than you give yourself credit for, and so have scored very highly in all those aspects relating to your body shape etc. However, we all feel that you sometimes fail to make the best of yourself. It has been noticeable how much better you have looked since you started working in Bentalls and begun to use a little more makeup.’

Julie gave me one of her ‘I told you so’ looks and I couldn’t help from blushing. I’d really let myself in for that one.

‘If only you would just grow your hair and not be so frightened of wearing dresses from time to time you would look really great. This pre-occupation with Jeans and tops all the time is not always appropriate. In many ways you’re the opposite of Julie in terms of your dress sense, it is almost as if you are frightened of being a girl.’

‘Et tu Susie,’ I thought, remembering my Julius Caesar.

However, as I said, things have been improving recently and you and your sister do seem to be having a good influence on one another.’

‘You all think that?’ I asked

‘Yes I’m afraid so.’

I sighed.

‘The one area where we disagreed is in terms of the way you present yourself to the world and so we have agreed to tell you individually I’ve known you for much longer than the others, and you’ve always been good fun to have as a friend, and loyal, but you did gain this reputation at school for being a bit of a tomboy and a tearaway.’

‘You mean I was the one who always got caught, whereas you, little Miss Goody Two Shoes, would stand by looking innocent.’

‘Well maybe that’s one aspect of being a girl that you have never quite mastered, knowing when to curb your tongue and act as if butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth. I love having you as a friend and will miss you very much when you go to University, but you’ve never exactly been a girly girl.'

I knew she was probably right, and six weeks ago I would have been happy to admit it, but now I wasn’t quite so sure.

‘You’ve always been kind and considerate to me, in fact an ideal big sister. ‘I don’t know how I would have coped without you,’ added Julie, ‘even if you do have a sharp tongue at times.

‘You don’t know half of what I might have said to you, but just managed to stop mself,’ I thought to myself.

‘Thank you,’ I replied, thankful for small mercies.

‘The trouble with your questionnaire was that there was nowhere for me to say that you were a lovely sexy girlfriend, whom I’ll miss so much when we both go to different universities,’ said Joe in order to soften the blow.

‘And my bruises have healed,’ he added as an afterthought.

‘You’d better tell me how much I scored,’ I said to Sue.

‘You scored 69, but it was your choice of criteria and there is so much more to being a woman than the superficial things you asked us to assess, and you could easily have scored more with minor changes to your dress and your hair, so please don’t shoot the messenger,’ added Susie.

‘No matter what I do and how hard I try I’ll never be able to be as much a woman as you are. I’ll never be able to have a baby,’ added Julie sadly.

‘It seems I’m the one who shouldn’t be allowed out on my own.’ I replied.

I let them all think I was more upset than I actually was so that everyone would go out of their way to be nice to me for the rest of the evening, but in the end I made it clear that I had no hard feelings. I’d laid the trap and then fallen in to it myself and had to accept the consequences. However, what was said that evening did cause me to spend several sleepless hours trying to work out exactly who I was and who I wanted to be, over the next few nights. Something I’d never had cause to think about before. I’d just accepted myself and never cared what other people thought.

I drove over to have dinner with Mum and Dad on Sunday as I needed to tell them about our planned trip to Thailand on the 25th August. I couldn’t delay telling them much longer as Susie’s mother now knew she was going and there was always a chance she might run into my mother in Bracknell some time. I went out of my way to give a good impression, and even allowed Julie to give me advice on what to wear. I also took with me the details of my present to them to both to mark my good fortune - a luxury weekend in Paris via the Eurostar rail service, which I knew Dad would appreciate. I also had two small presents that I’d bought for them in Nottingham — a piece of lace for Mum and a book about the local Railways for Dad (what is it with middle-aged men and trains?)

All went well, I was complimented on my appearance, and my various gifts were received graciously. We even sat down to a meal together and chatted happily just as we used to do years ago. It was obviously the right time to bring up about our proposed trip.

‘By the way Julian’s parents had booked to take him on holiday to Thailand at the end of the month. The hotel and flights are paid for so Susie and I will be taking their place.’

There was neither the explosion of anger nor the flat refusal to let me go that I was expecting, merely the warning that we should all be careful out there.

‘I trust Susie to keep an eye on you and make sure that you don’t do anything silly.’

Thanks a lot for that vote of confidence Mum.’

‘And I trust you, Jen, to keep an eye on Julian; remember he is a minor and so will be your responsibility,’ added Dad.

That was just about as good a result as I might have expected and so I decided to let them know our plans to share a flat in Nottingham, although did not feel it was the right time to explain that it would be with my half-sister rather than my half brother. Our plans were met with some surprise, but I quickly explained the various advantages — that I would get to live somewhere nice, affordable and convenient for the University, and that I would get to keep an eye on Julian.

‘I hope you’ll also be a calming influence on one another,’ added Dad, but didn't raise any major objections.

‘But is it wise for you to be sharing a flat with a young man?’ asked Mum.

‘What is it with this obsession she has that I’ll want to sleep with my brother at any opportunity? Exactly what does she think I am?’

However, I did my best to restrain my natural sense of indignation.

‘Mum, it’ll be fine. I’ve known Julian for several weeks and trust him with my honour.’

‘Yes, but he may have friends round to stay.’

‘In that case I’ll lock my bedroom door.’

‘I’m sure that Jenny is old enough to look after herself now and is likely to meet far worse dangers than her half-brother and his friends,’ added Dad.

‘That may be so, but I’ll want to have a long talk to you both before you go,’ said Mum.

‘Alright but let it wait until after we come back from Thailand, as things are rather hectic at the moment.’

You’ll have a surprise in store when it comes to that interview.