Marilyn's Impossible Dream, or She's So Pretty -- Chapters 30

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Marilyn's Impossible Dream, or She's So Pretty — Chapter 30


By Katherine Day


(Copyright 2011)


Merritt Lane McGraw feels he is a girl, but he is living through the Great Depression and World War II. It is a period before the words “crossdresser” and “transgender” were in the vocabulary and a time before sexual assignment surgery was a possibility. Is he a boy or a girl? His confusion leads him into many strange encounters.

(The Story Thus Far: Born out of wedlock in 1929, Merritt Lane McGraw has spent nearly all of his first five years with his mother while she worked as a live-in maid and nanny for a wealthy young widow and her two daughters. Merritt’s mother, Evelyn, found herself in a torrid love affair with Viola Buckner, her employer, while the women’s daughters loved to treat Merritt as a little girl. Merritt was becoming more and more like a girl. To escape the demanding sexual encounters with her employer (which Evelyn feels is sinful) and to take her son away from the feminine atmosphere of the estate, Evelyn left the Buckners and returned home to live with her parents. She soon married Bob Casey, the library clerk and former high school classmate, and they have moved into a second floor apartment above a craft and sewing supply store. Merritt’s days of enjoying “girl time” appear to have ended now that there’s a man in the house.

(Merritt’s stepfather has gone off to war, and was killed in the terrible battle of Tarawa in November, 1943, posthumously being awarded the Navy Cross. Merritt’s mother meantime has taken a job in a war plant making parachutes, and Merritt takes over her dress-making business, which he finds to be a natural fit. Now a high school student, he finds comfort only in being a girl, but still seeks to fit in as a boy.

(Merritt has ventured out as a girl, and his natural femininity attracts the eyes of high school boys as well as a high school girl, with whom he goes to bed. Their innocence — typical for youth of that period — makes for limited sexual experiences, but with much passion, girl-to-girl.

(Yet, he tries to fit in as a boy, believing his hopes of ever living as a girl in the 1940s and1950s would be nearly impossible. His growing femininity has brought him into more adventures as a girl, confusing him even more as he tries to fit in at school. Merritt has completed his sophomore year of high school, having attended two proms, one as a boy and one as a girl, where his date’s infatuation for Marilyn has prompted Merritt to tell the boy the truth, only to be rudely rejected. His faith in the Catholic Church has been shattered when a priest he respected makes a “pass” and Merritt feels shame, not only for himself, but also for the priest. Following his high school graduation, Merritt has taken a job as the first and only male in the typing pool of a large law firm, where he excels in his work and soon is accepted by his women co-workers as one of them.

In the last chapter, Merritt discovers that the lawyer for whom he has been taking dictation is his own father, Drake Kosgrove, a revelation that has shocked both the boy and his mother, and will lead to dramatic changes.)

Chapter 30: A Father’s Betrayal

His co-worker Cindy didn’t seem pleased by Merritt’s change of status. For one thing, he’d be leaving the typing pool and be working up on the 15th floor in the research department, which she called “a bunch of snobs.” Besides, the move would separate the two, and lessen their chances of lunching together, something they’d both miss, as they had come to rely on each other for support in the sometimes hostile workplace. Some of the other girls had formed cliques, and neither Cindy nor Merritt seemed to be welcomed to join in, not that they particularly would have enjoyed it anyway.

“I know you’re the best, Merritt,” she admitted at lunch after she heard of his promotion. “But I don’t think a girl would ever get promoted so fast.”

“Cindy. I didn’t have anything to do with this,” he said. “I was just doing my job.”

The girl seemed momentarily saddened by her own statements.

“I don’t think you did, it’s just that they treat men and women differently here,” she said.

“I guess you’re right about that, but really Cindy I like working with you.”

“I know you do. I’m sorry, Merritt, and I’m happy for your promotion. I really am. You’re the sweetest boy I ever met.”

Merritt wished he could tell Cindy the whole story. He knew she’d understand his situation.

To make her feel better, Merritt decided to make the offer he’d been thinking about for several weeks.

“Cindy, I’m going to tell you something I’ve not told anyone about here,” he began.

She looked at him inquisitively.

“I have a parttime job,” he said. “And you’ll never guess what it is. I both design and make dresses for girls and women. I love doing it. And, I’d love to make you a nice dress, just for you.”

“You what? You want to do what?”

“I’m what you might call a seamstress, or a dressmaker and I want to make you a dress,” he admitted, growing more firm as he talked.

“You are . . . a . . . seamstress and you want to make me a dress? But, you’re a boy.”

“I guess I am,” he said smiling.

“No wonder you know so much about dresses,” she replied. “You seemed to admire them more in Engelmann’s than I did. Just like a girl would.”

“Well, mom’s a seamstress and she taught me well and she’s worked at Swenson’s most of the time we lived there, until the war,” he explained. “We live in the apartment over the store, and I began working there when mom went to work in the hosiery mill to make parachutes during the war. They needed someone to help out, and I did pretty good at it.”

Cindy paused a minute, looking at him. “And I bet that explains your fast fingers on the typewriter, too?”

He blushed, looking at his hands. She reached over, placing her more chubby hand over his, and he looked up, their eyes meeting. Such a sweet girl, he mused.

“I’m sorry I questioned you about your promotion,” she said. “I’m sure you deserved it.”

“We’ll see if I can do the work, Cindy. I’m not even sure I can.”

“You will, I’m sure. Just don’t forget about me.”

“I won’t,” he assured her. “And please, I want to make you a dress. You can come to the shop for measurements some Saturday and to pick out a style. It would be my gift to a good friend.”

“Merritt,” she said. “You’re so nice. And, Merritt, I won’t tell any of the other girls about your side job.”

*****
“How long have you lived here?” Drake Kosgrove asked Evelyn when he picked her up for their supper date.

“Since Merritt was about five years old,” she said. “It was handy and not too expensive, and besides I work right downstairs. I could watch Merritt and work, too.”

“That makes sense,” he said.

Evelyn had not been eager that he should see that she and Merritt lived above a store on a busy street in working class neighborhood of the “flats;” she knew he lived in a mansion in the Highlands. Drake, however, had insisted on picking her up, so she agreed to it. Evelyn also made sure Merritt would not be at home when Drake arrived.

She and Merritt worked hard to tidy up their apartment, which really didn’t need much cleaning up since both were quite meticulous about keeping the place neat. When he arrived, he had even commented how nice the apartment looked. Drake’s tone of voice seemed to indicate mere curiosity and certainly didn’t appear to be judgmental as to where she lived.

“I understand Merritt sometimes works there, too,” he volunteered.

“Yes, he helps out. Mrs. Swenson pays well.”

“I noticed he listed her as a reference on his job application,” he said.

“That’s how you knew how to call me, Drake. You checked his job application?”

He smiled. “Yes, I did, I have to admit it. After I realized his name was McGraw and he was 18 years old. I asked his mother’s name, and he said Evelyn, and I just did the arithmetic. I figured he must be the son I never had.”

“Do you have daughters, though?”

“No, I have no children . . . ah . . . well that’s not true. I now have one.”

“Are you married?” she asked.

“No, I never did, much to the disgust of my mother and father. I guess I was having too much fun single.”

“Are we going to supper?” she said, quickly changing the subject. The conversation was getting awkward.

*****
The Drake Kosgrove who walked into her apartment that night had turned a bit paunchy and had grown quite bald. He still had the sparkling blue eyes that had attracted her nearly 20 years ago. His face, too, was cherubic, making him look years younger than his late 40s, which she took him to be. She remembered that when she worked at the Country Club he had been about 10 years older than she was.

“I’ve been terribly insensitive,” he admitted to Evelyn as they were about to begin the dessert portion of their meal. The two had settled into a meal at McCoy’s, an up-scale downtown restaurant. He had sought a quiet booth, where there’d be little chance of their conversations being overheard. Evelyn thought she saw a knowing wink from the maitre d, when Drake asked for such a table.

Certainly, she wondered, he wasn’t going to put the make on her. Now she’d give him a good loud slap in the face and she wouldn’t care who saw or heard it. She was her own woman now.

“I should have sought you out right after you left the Club,” he said. “But the manager said he didn’t know why you left. Everyone liked you there, and he said you were becoming one of his best waitresses. I didn’t even ask him about where you lived.”

“That’s OK,” she said. “I didn’t want to see you any way.”

“That’s fair,” he said. “I deserved that. I was quite a bore then. And selfish.”

She nodded, looking at the Baked Alaska dessert that the waiters had just delivered in flames for the table. They both said nothing for a while, each diving into the luscious confection.

“I want to do what is right for our son,” he said finally.

“Our son? No, Drake, my son. I raised him all these years on my own. I slaved as a nanny and maid for a long time, worked in a war plant and now as a seamstress to support myself and him, with no help from you. You didn’t even care what happened to me that night.”

“I know and I was wrong then. I want to make it right. Let me try now.”

“In one way, Drake you ruined my life, took away my future, brought shame to me and my parents, and you continued playing polo and taking advantage of girls and drinking all you want.”

“But you had Merritt, our son.”

“My son, remember that,” her voice rising in anger. “And yes, he’s the bright spot of my life. I’d die for him. He’s an adorable, smart, lovely boy.”

Drake looked around, wondering if anyone else heard the outburst. It appeared that their privacy was still intact.

“And that he is, really, Evelyn, but I am sincere. I’ve changed Evelyn, really. I’ve quit heavy drinking several years ago. Now that I realize I have a son, I’m ready to be worthy of him . . . and worthy of you, too.

“You’ve done a magnificent job in raising the boy, Evelyn. Everyone at work enjoys working with him, and he’s really sharp. We’ve just promoted him, you know.”

She nodded her head.

How could she ever forgive this man for what he did to her 19 years before in his car on that warm summer night? Yet, it seemed that he was ready to “make things right” for her and Merritt. It would be to Merritt’s welfare to let him come into their lives, she realized. It finally dawned on her that the Kosgrove fortune, or at least part of it, might be in Merritt’s future. Kosgrove was the sole heir to the fortune, since he was an only child, and Merritt his only known offspring.

But Evelyn had the gnawing feeling that Drake’s sudden conversion might be a sham. Could a leopard shed his spots?

Evelyn couldn’t finish her Baked Alaska; she was too stuffed from the baked flounder she had ordered, which she also had trouble finishing. The tension of the night seemed to dampen her appetite.

The night ended on a more harmonious note, with Kosgrove suggesting that Evelyn and Merritt might wish to visit him at his home sometime soon.

“I’d really like to get to know the both of you better,” he said. His tone of voice seemed sincere and kind.

“That would be nice,” Evelyn said, her tone neutral, neither encouraging or discouraging the idea. “I’ll have to see what Merritt thinks about it first. He was sort of in shock over the whole business.”

He returned Evelyn back to her home, and, mercifully, he did not suggest to Evelyn that he give her so much as a good night kiss.

*****
Uncle Frank, who had lived with Merritt and his mother for a few months after his release from the service, moved out in late summer. He had learned about Marilyn — Merritt’s alter ego — and while it shocked him at first, he had grown to accept the boy.

“You should think about learning to sing and dance,” he advised Merritt one day.

Merritt had dressed that day as Marilyn, wearing a light blue summer dress. It had a square bodice, puffed short sleeve and ended at mid-thigh. The dress was belted, and had ample flowing material below the belt.

“Oh, why, Uncle Frank?” he asked.

“You could easily be a female impersonator, Merritt,” he said. “You have the body for it.”

Merritt quickly demonstrated a quick feminine turn, smiling at Frank.

“That’s so hot. You look truly look like a girl and I know guys would go ga-ga watching you.”

He related that while on leave in San Francisco he’d gone to a place called Finocchio’s, where the nightclub show featured men dressed as beautiful girls.

“They’d love to have you in the chorus line at least,” Frank said. “You could be one of the prettier girls.”

Merritt suddenly felt flush, did some crude dance steps, prompting Frank to rise from his feet, taking Merritt in his arms, and leading him in a few steps.

“You follow well, Merritt, just as a girl needs to do,” Frank said.

After they finished their brief dance, Frank left the room for a minute, returning shortly carrying what appeared to be a postcard.

“Here look at this,” he told Merritt.

He held out a picture postcard, showing about a dozen pretty young women, posing in two rows, all wearing lovely gowns and well-coiffured.

“They’re all so pretty,” Merritt said. “Why are you showing it to me?”

Frank smiled. “They’re all men,” he said.

“They can’t be,” Merritt said. “Look at their arms and legs.”

“Just like yours, Merritt. You could easily be one of them.”

The postcard was from Finocchio’s. Frank said he had visited the club, violating a World War II armed services rule that ordered the club to not serve service people because the club featured the drag show.

“I don’t know what your future plans are,” Frank said. “But you’d be a natural. Now don’t tell your mother I showed you this. She’ll be mad at me.”

Merritt looked hard and long at the picture.

“You can have it,” Frank said. “But hide it from your mother.”

Merritt buried the postcard into a box at the bottom of his closet, but in the months ahead he never forgot the picture. Yes, he agreed with Frank, he could easily fit in the chorus line at Finocchio’s.

*****
Merritt’s venture into the Research Department at Ferrier and Holton went smoothly; he was assigned to partner with an eager young man, a recent law school graduate who was awaiting an opening as a lawyer with the firm. Merritt was an anomaly in the department, being the only staff person without a law school education. Most of the staffers were either law school dropouts or recent graduates awaiting appointments. Two were women, both also recent law school graduates as well as recently married; such women were rarely given lawyer status at the firm, since the expectation was that they’d soon be pregnant and would leave the firm.

There was little time in the research department for interplay with co-workers, since most were working hard to impress the partners; some of the law school dropouts, who had no expectation of becoming lawyers, were a bit older and also a bit more laconic about their assignments, but what they lacked in vigor they made up for in experience.

“We know the shortcuts, Merritt,” one of them told him one day. “And, since you’re not lawyer material, you’d best learn them to so you can outshine all these hotshot law school grads.”

Merritt’s friendly nature helped him get along with the crew, particularly Farleigh Stimson, his partner. The two were made into a team to assist several of the senior partners in researching several cases involving maritime law. The mystery of the quest intrigued Merritt greatly, and he found the work rewarding.

*****
As the summer wore on, Merritt and Dolores began spending more and more time together, with Merritt almost always being Marilyn. He felt totally at home with her, usually dressing casually, with either pedal pushers or shorts and a white untucked boy’s shirt. But with his longish hair, sometimes tied in tight pigtails, and slender, lovely legs with sandals and white anklets, he always looked totally feminine. They often went to the beach together, using Dolores’ mother’s car, where the two would lounge on the beach, a large portable radio at their side while reading several magazines, usually Cosmopolitan or Ladies’ Home Journal.

The two were regularly eyed by boys who languished along the beach on summer days. Dolores’ figure had filled out, her muscular body and undersized breasts looking impressive in her two-piece suit. Merritt’s slender, almost dainty body remained largely covered, except for his legs. The two never got in the water, except to wade up to their calves, since the Lake water remained too frigid for actual swimming until late summer. Most observers would see two girls, and many would wonder why the more slender one never removed her shirt to the sun.

The two lay side by side on a beach blanket, reading and giggling, drawing occasional visits by boys who timidly sought to develop conversations with the two. Some boys tried to catch their eyes from a distance, hoping to create a spark of friendship and a potential meeting.

“You are so irresistibly cute, Marilyn,” Dolores said one warm July Sunday. She had reached over and played with Merritt’s hair, untying the ribbon that formed his ponytail, letting the hair flow loosely about his head.

Merritt smiled, tilting his head in a provocative manner. He loved having Dolores treat him as a girl, a cute, dainty girl. He yearned to cuddle tightly against her, feeling the warm protection of her strong arms, but resisted it, for fear of drawing attention to the sight of two girls cuddling on the beach, and perhaps getting kicked off the beach by the Sheriff’s Department that patrolled the beach.

Instead, he whispered, “I love you Dolores.”

“For real?”

“Oh yes, for real and as your girl friend. As Marilyn.”

“I love you, Marilyn, my dear Marilyn.”

They soon left the beach, returning to Dolores’ home; her mother was gone for the day, and the two ended up in Dolores’ bed, making love as only two girls would make love, kissing and hugging, with Merritt running his fingers into her vagina and later moving his face between her firm thighs to taste and enjoy her moist femininity, all the time wishing he too had a vagina for her to enjoy.

Dolores caressed his soft skin with gentle strokes, before her passion rose and she eagerly sought out his smallish penis, now erect and hurting as he awaited release.

Both youth were still naíve about sex, even though they were now 18 years old, and Merritt was not sure what else he should do and admitted his ignorance as they hugged and caressed and kissed.

“You want to fuck me, dear?” she asked.

“I guess,” he said. “That’s what boys do, but I like doing this.”

“Me too,” she whispered, rising up from his crotch, moving up to kiss him.

“I’m still a virgin,” she then admitted.

“Me too, and I not sure I’m ready to do that. I just like being here with you, in your arms, kissing and hugging. I’m not sure how to do it.”

“Oh my darling angel,” she said, brushing his hair as they kissed. “I don’t need you to do it. I like you as my girl friend, my sweet Marilyn.”

*****
Merritt and his work partner, Farleigh Stimson, submitted their research to the two senior lawyers handling the maritime case with great praise.

“You two did a remarkable job searching out the case law on this,” one of the partners said.

“We’ll put a letter of commendation in your files,” said the other partner. “It’ll help in getting you promotions. If you two keep this up, you’ll be rewarded soon.”

Stimson and Merritt did indeed make a good working team. They rarely talked when working, except when the job demanded it, and after three weeks, Merritt still knew precious little about Stimson.

“You really deserve most of the credit for this,” Stimson said to Merritt as they left the office, having been given a new assignment.

“Not really,” Merritt replied. “We’re a team.”

“No Merritt, you’re the one who found that Ohio Supreme Court case and that led to the Cleveland Cliffs steamship ruling,” he said.

“Thank you, but that may have been luck.”

“Maybe so, but I’m glad I’m your partner,” Stimson said. He was a law school senior and several years older than Merritt. Stimson had a perpetually tanned face, attesting to the fact that he played golf whenever he could, having been a golf star at Lakeview Academy. He was a tallish slender young man, trim in his figure.

“I wasn’t too sure about whether I’d like being your partner, Merritt,” Stimson said. “You had no college, and well . . . ah . . . you know . . . you came out of the typing pool. I never knew boys worked there.”

Merritt smiled, realizing the Stimson must have questioned Merritt’s abilities due to his more girlish appearance.

“I’m glad it’s working out,” Merritt replied. “We better get started on this new case.”

“I guess we better,” Stimson said. “We can’t rest on our laurels.”

*****
Two days later, after Merritt returned from a lunch he had with Cindy, he found Paddy, one of the law firm’s security people sitting at his desk.

“Hey, Paddy,” Merritt said, wondering why the uniformed guard, a man he had exchanged cheerful greetings with at the reception desk many times, was at his desk.

“Mr. McGraw,” Paddy said formally. “I’m instructed to give you this.”

He handed over a sealed envelop, which Merritt opened, taking out a half-sized sheet of paper on which was typed:

Aug. 9, 1947

To: Merritt McGraw

In the best interests of this law firm, its partners, its employees and its clients, we find it necessary to terminate your employment with Ferrier and Holton.

You have 30 minutes from the time you receive this notice to vacate the building. A security officer will assist you in recovering any personal items which you may take with you as you leave the premises.

You are further reminded that under the contract you signed for your employment here, you may not reveal to anyone any information you may have gained about the firm, its employees and its clients as a result of your employment with Ferrier and Holton. If you should breach any confidences you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

This notice is final.

Sincerely,

James P. Holton
Managing Partner

Merritt looked up at the guard. “What’s this?”

“Merritt, all I know is that I was told to escort you from the building and to make sure that you don’t take anything that’s not yours,” Paddy said, keeping his voice level and without emotion.

“But why?” Merritt asked, as the sudden news of his termination began to sink in. “Why? Just two days ago I was given a commendation.”

“Merritt, my boy,” the guard said more sympathetically. “I have no idea. I only do what I’m ordered to. You always seemed like a nice young lad to me, but I have my orders. Gather up your stuff and let me escort you out of here.”

“Give me a minute,” Merritt said, wondering who he could call to ask about the reasons for his discharge.

“OK, but don’t dawdle.”

Merritt began to cry, wondering what happened so as to cause his sudden termination. He tried calling his father, and was told “Mr. Kosgrove was out of the city for the week.” He called the supervisor in the research department who had liked his work. The supervisor was shocked to hear of it, and said he knew nothing about it, but would check and call Merritt back.

Within five minutes, the supervisor called. “I talked with Mr. Holton, Merritt, and all he would tell me was that you were terminated for the good of the firm, and that’s all. I did put in a good word for you, telling him how well you and Stimson did on the maritime case, but he merely said, ‘Make sure Mr. McGraw is gone from this building immediately.’ I’m sorry, Merritt.”

*****
“How could they fire you?” his mother asked.

“I don’t know, mom,” Merritt said, his eyes red from crying.

“Weren’t you just praised two days ago?”

Merritt nodded, explaining that all he was told it was “for the good of the firm.”

“I thought Mr. Kosgrove liked you,” he mother said. “He told me so. Do you think it’s because he found out you’re his son?”

“I don’t know, mom, but I got transferred right after he found out, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“Well, I’m going to call him,” his mother said. “He said he wanted to support you.”

“OK mom, if you think that’s best,” Merritt said. “But I don’t think he’s in town. He hasn’t been at work all week.”

He kissed his mother, leaving for his room where he took off all his clothes, found his nightie and curled up under the covers of his bed, feeling very sad and fighting off tears. It was only 3 o’clock in the afternoon, but Merritt didn’t know what else to do. Perhaps he’d pray. His episode with Father Mulcahy had dampened his once strong feelings for the mysterious power of prayer.

“Dear Father . . .” he began, but felt that was a wrong way to begin.

“Dear God . . . my dear mother Mary . . .” That was it. He’d appeal to the Virgin Mary. Maybe she’d understand.

“Why, dear mother,” he continued, a bit haltingly and somewhat embarrassed to be making such a plea. But, did he have any other choice?

“Dear mother Mary, have pity on me, your child. Why dear mother, did God make me as I am? I am a girl, really I am, but why did he make me a boy? Please, dear Mary, I tried being a boy but it just doesn’t seem to work. Am I so pathetic? Am I not worthy of your love?”

He stopped. It seemed so pointless. He cried and soon slept.

*****
Evelyn was both angry and puzzled. Drake had seemed so sincerely supportive of Merritt when they met; he truly seemed to want to help. What had happened? Why had he permitted Ferrier and Holton to let Merritt go?

Drake had given her his home phone number and suggested she call him if she felt he could help out with anything. She tried calling, but got no answer, after letting the phone ring a good dozen times. She tried several times throughout the rest of the day, still receiving no answer. Finally, she called about 8 o’clock that night and Drake picked up. He was obviously drunk.

“Drake,” she said, recognizing the slur in his voice. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah,” he grunted. “That you, Evelyn?”

“Yes, Drake, it’s me? Why did you fire Merritt?” She felt no need to delay the question, just blurting it out.

“Huh?”

“Answer me, Drake Kosgrove.” Her tone was demanding, firm.

“Ah, Evelyn, give me a minute, please. I just got home.” Her firm tone seemed to awaken him from his drunken stupor.

“OK,” she said. So much for his statement that he’d given up heavy drinking.

There was a moment’s silence, which was broken when she heard Drake clear his throat.

“Well, Evelyn,” he said, talking more slowly, obviously summoning all the concentration he could. “The law firm just couldn’t stand that kind of behavior. It’s bad for our reputation.”

“What kind of behavior?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, Evelyn!” he said, laughing. “Your life style and Merritt’s too. It’s disgusting.”

“I’m disgusting? Merritt’s disgusting? You should talk, you drunken sot.”

“Oh getting personal now?”

“No, but what are you talking about?” she pressed, realizing that somehow Drake had learned about Merritt’s time as Marilyn and perhaps even her own liaisons with Viola.

“Must I spell it out for you?” he responded sarcastically. Without waiting for an answer, Drake continued:

“You and Viola, for instance. Your affair with the most infamous dyke at the country club. My God, how can you make love to a woman like that and still be the mother of my child? You’re disgusting.”

Evelyn didn’t know what to say. How did he know about that?

“And, now I learn that Merritt spends time as a girl, dresses as a girl. I should have suspected. He looked like such a sissy when he took dictation. What have YOU done to my son?”

“Oh my God, Drake. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Merritt is just about the sweetest and kindest boy a mother and a father could want. And you’re making him into some sort of a monster.”

There was a pause; Evelyn heard a sound like ice being dropped into a glass. Drake was obviously pouring himself a drink.

“How did you know about all this, Drake?” she asked.

“Well if you must know. I hired a private detective to see what your life was really like. I didn’t want to get involved with anything sleazy. We have a reputation to keep, both the law firm and my family.”

“You what? Hired a detective to spy on us? You pig!” She hung up on him, and went to her room to cry. After about 30 minutes, she got up and telephoned her closest friend, Viola.

*****
Even though it was 9 o’clock, she accepted Viola’s invitation to drive over to Vi’s home, bringing Merritt with her. She awakened Merritt, whose nap had continued through much of the early evening and who was ready to arise.

He dressed as Marilyn for the trip, and was content to read a book in the room he always used at the Buckner estate, while the two women went off to bed together. He always felt at home in the room, which he had occupied as a young boy when they lived with the Buckners. He room reeked of girliness. He took a bubble bath, lounging in the water and prettying himself up before readying himself for bed with a sheer nightgown. Even the bedsheets gave off a sweet scent that comforted him.

“Drake has his nerve, talking about you being disgusting,” Viola said, as she and Evelyn lay together , both stripped down to their undies, in the older woman’s bed.

“I know,” Evelyn said. “But it still hurts. Mostly how unfair he is to Merritt. I’m so worried about him Vi. He’s not very strong.”

Viola pulled her friend toward her, hugging her firmly, but gently, almost motherly. She let Evelyn sob onto her shoulder.

“Evie,” Viola said finally. “I think you’ll find Merritt’s stronger than you think. He’s had to endure so much in his young life, and he’s done it with his head high. He’s quite a young man . . . and woman.”

“I know he is, and so talented.”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms.


(To Be Continued)

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That Was Quick...

Kosgrove's drunken state would seem to indicate that there's something more to this than meets the eye. I suppose it may just be that he wasn't telling Evelyn the truth about having given up heavy drinking, but I'd have expected Merritt, as his former assistant, to have picked up on it before if that were the case. (There were apparently-accurate rumors about Koagrove's limited legal ability and his attitude toward female employees, but I don't recall anything about drinking.)

Drake may well have been disgusted by the information the detectives put together, but I suspect he wasn't the one who hired them this time around. Either Drake's father or one of the legal partners would seem a possible choice (assuming on the one hand that he told his father that he'd discovered a possible heir, and on the other that he had to explain the reason he was promoting Merritt). I'd presume that Drake's right, though, in thinking that if either piece of information -- Evelyn's lesbian relationship or Merritt's transvestism -- became public along with their relationship to Drake, major embarrassment and lost credibility would ensue.

Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.

Eric

Once a B*st*rd, Always a B*st*rd

RAMI

Once a B*st*rd, Always a B*st*rd. But, Drake is reacting the way a social snob and ass of his time would. However, it is true that the reaction of the public to Evelyn's lesbian relationship with Viola, and Merritt's transvestism would be critical and devastating if it came out.

The fact that they have both kept the somewhat different nature of their existances fairly hidden, is immaterial.

I beleive that Drake did order the investigation himself. The results were not what he expected. If in fact he had stopped excessive drinking is true, the dramatic revelations would have been enough for him to return to the bottle.

As I have read the story, I am surprised that Viola, being the sophisticated lady she is supposed to be has not found or suggested away for Merritt to channel his skills as a dressmaker and designer to a successful outcome. Men had been costume designers on Broadway, and in the movies at that time. Perhaps not in the town they live, but in New York, Merritt could have found an outlet for his skills. Perhaps Viol is aware of this, but to keep Evelyn in bed with her, she has refused to reveal this.

I think Uncle Frank's well meaning revelations to Merritt about the club, may backfire. I am not sure if Merritt could survive in an atmosphere that could become dangerous at best.

I have not done the reasearch, but I think paternity testing existed at the time. The best revenge against Drake would be to sue him for back support.

RAMI

RAMI

Marilyn's Impossible Dream, or She's So Pretty -- Chapters 30

Hopefully, that ****** and law firm will rue the day that they fired Merritt. Would simply love to see all of those secretaries, typists and others quit when they learn what happened.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Might happen in a Frank Capra film...

Andrea Lena's picture

....but this is the 'real world' of the 1940's. No equal opportunity. African Americans were still being lynched in the south and ignored in the north. No equal protection for gays or tg folks! A woman having an open relationship with another woman whose son is considered a faggot (their words, not mine) would have no significant legal standing before the court. Even if they proved paternity, the likelihood that Drake would pay would be almost nil. And they'd be fighting a LAW FIRM. Things look awfully dim and sad for Merritt and his Mom. I'm covering my eyes at this point, fearing what I'll see next! Great story as always! Thank you, Katherine.



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

This outcome

Extravagance's picture

would be typical of the time, but that doesn't make it any less painful.
After reading the previous chapter, I almost took back my remarks for chapter 28, but now I feel considerably less inclined to do so.

Catfolk Pride.PNG

Fired?

That drunken pig of a slob!!! It figures, hire a stupid dectective to spy on the very woman he raped!!! Scratch his eyes out, tie him to an ant hill with honey poured on his stupid idiotic head!!!
I cant stand prejudice, I hate it! I suppose it is very easy to see that this part of this story has me rather angry. I know that this story is supposed to be fictional but somehow I find it hard to believe that some of this story is in fact fictional. Sorry!

Vivi