Becca discovers she's not quite herself anymore (but doesn't seem to mind). She also gains another mentor and friend, takes a "paws" in the action to go fishing, and discovers that you really CAN go home again ... especially when nobody knows you left.

My initial reaction to my newfound foxiness was confusion. I suddenly felt ... more. Of everything. Colors were brighter, smells were overwhelming. Soft breeze ruffling my fur, slipping across parts of me that were never bare in the outside air. There was a soft ringing in my ears, and I was vaguely aware of the tip of my nose at the end of a long muzzle hovering there between my eyes. Everything around me started to fade as I drifted towards unconsciousness ...

... and then an impossible, almost alien calm rose up from deep inside and pulled me back down into the world that was. I felt strangely at peace, and my senses dropped back from overwhelmingly sharp to pleasantly enhanced. I was connected somehow, to everything around me. The sky, the trees, the grass ... even to Akomachi as she hovered in the air in front of me. A part of me acknowledged that the calm was not a normal reaction for the girl I used to be. But for a kitsune, it was perfectly natural. And being at least partly kitsune now, being centered and part of the natural world was completely normal. I realized it was probably that part of Akomachi still inside me, from the time we shared my body.

It still scared me, to think of myself possessed of something as strange as this accepting placidity. And yet, what had I lost, really? The paralyzing "flight or fight" reflex that drove so much of human behavior? Was that so bad? And was anything of Becca even really lost? It could only be masked by the kitsune response that this form made dominant. My human responses could just be hidden, waiting for an opportunity to emerge

Even without the kitsune calm, I could see that panic would not be an appropriate response. I felt my whole body go as still as a mountain lake on a windless day. I should be honored, I thought. After all, I had always respected and revered the kitsune. Now I was one -- at least, in part. Just like that, I felt a smile coming on, and I looked over my shoulder at my newest furry appendage. It seemed to sway back and forth with a mind of its own, and I looked up at Akomachi.

"Only one tail?" I gave her a little pout. "I feel cheated somehow. After all, I did have all nine of yours to play with for a while." The vixen's mouth opened in silent laughter. I grinned. "I know, more tails come with time, and wisdom." My own smile faded. "But I have no time, Akomachi. As much an honor as this is, I cannot stay like this. I have work to do, as a human. And I have a family, and a life, that I need to return to."

"You may call me Oneesama, if you wish," the fox spirit replied. "It is an appropriate honorific, in and of itself." Information about the complex Japanese forms of address between individuals flowed into my head. She looked down, briefly, and it seemed as if she was embarrassed. "However, I must admit that, in the short time we have known each other, I have come to think of you more as my daughter than as a friend. If, one day, you come to think of me as a mother, I would be honored if you would call me 'Casa.'"

The vixen looked up and smiled slightly. "In either case, formality between us would be absurd, Becca-chan. We have, after all, shared a body. And you need not worry. Our kind have always been shapeshifters. Your human form remains, with all of its power, whenever you choose to reclaim it. As does your work. But I would talk with you for a while, if I might?"

I thought for a moment. I genuinely liked Akomachi. I understood her in ways I have never understood another person, because of what we had shared. And I knew how much she truly wanted a daughter. Finally, I decided that a girl could never have too many mothers, and I smiled. "I would welcome the gift of your time ... Casa." I felt her pleasure flow through me like a physical force, and I let it gently stroke my soul in passing. I concentrated, and floated up to join her in mid-air. "But I am curious. How is time passing in the world I left, where my ... other family dwells? I have been gone a while, and I would not wish them to be worried at my long absence."

Akomachi shook her head. "Only an instant has passed there since your departure at the hands of the Goddess. No other time shall pass until you return. And what we need to speak about is important."

The two of us drifted towards the river, and my new senses were overwhelmed by the smells of the forests and the grass. My eyes were so sharp, I could see for miles.

We floated gently to the ground by the water, and Akomachi padded over to the river's edge on all fours. She looked over her shoulder and grinned at me. "Come, Becca-chan. Fish with me!" I looked at her, a bit cautious, and she shook her head and let her tongue hang out of her mouth. "You are young and life is short, child. Catching your own food can be fun! We can talk of serious things and still enjoy the baser pleasures life brings. It is part of being kitsune."

I peered into the water, where big fat fish swam complacently under the surface. "I thought foxes did not fish for their food, Casa."

She shrugged. "Foxes do not. But I am kitsune, and this is my home, and I have come to enjoy fishing ... and fish. If you'd rather, we could hunt voles, or other small game ... but I sense that you are not so much one of us that the game of predator and prey would interest you. Yet." Akomachi paused for a moment, then her paws darted below the surface and came up with a huge fish. It fought fiercely in her hands, and she held it up to me with a grin. "On land or in water, the fun is in the hunt, Becca-chan. In being faster than the fish, in her own element." The fox spirit looked into the fish's eyes, and her grin became a small smile. "Of course, the best thing about fishing is ... you can choose to let them go."

The vixen lowered the fish back into the water, and it swam rapidly away. I looked at her, slightly confused, and she looked at me and smiled. "It is only a game, Becca-chan. We are fox spirits, not foxes. I do not need to eat, and as kitsune, neither do you." Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she cocked her head. "Although you should know that I can eat if I wish, and have often eaten and enjoyed my prey in the past. It is my choice, and part of who I am. Does this disturb you?"

I felt almost as if I were being tested, and I looked into her eyes and shook my head. "I would not have you deny who and what you are, Casa, nor should anyone. Does a mountain deny itself? Or a river?"

Akomachi's smile grew, and I felt a soft caress deep inside my soul. "Thank you, Becca. Today, I fish only for fun. So come, daughter ... play with me?"

I threw her a tentative grin of my own, and settled down to peer into the river, looking for a likely target. Akomachi moved downriver a few meters and continued to fish as she spoke.

"Normally, kitsune do not involve themselves in human affairs unless specifically asked for help." Her nose moved slightly as she tracked her next victim through the clear water. "When your admiration and respect called to me, I was curious, and chose to take it as a request for aid, as is my right. Also, since you were engaged in an ... interaction with a magical entity, the normal rules about human affairs did not strictly apply."

I nodded, ears at attention, watching my own fish move closer. "When we were one, I saw that you have sworn to protect your kind from magical abuse, and that is a worthy goal. Oaths are very important to kitsune, as you know. But as impressive as you are, as a human, you are still new at what you do. There are questions you have not asked yourself. And your current teachers have not asked them for you. In fact, they may never ask them for you, because they have their own concerns for you and your mission -- and their own opinions of those creatures with which your kind shares this universe."

My paws moved faster than thought itself, and I held a silver fish up over my head. Now it was my turn to wear the predator's grin, and Akomachi grinned back. I carefully slipped the fish back into the river, and watched it swim away.

"Your Arbiters think all magical creatures are guilty, by their very nature," the vixen continued, "and as a result, they spend all of their time waiting to pass judgment whenever an opportunity arises. They do this because it is what they do. They have no life beyond their duty. It is their entire purpose, judgment and punishment. They saw the need for someone like you when too many magical creatures evaded their 'justice' through loopholes. But I believe they might have seen you as little more than a samurai to fight their battles, when in fact, the Omnipresence intended you to be so much more."

She paused, her eyes lit up, and before I could blink she held her own fish aloft, arms over her head. Happiness poured off of her in waves, a joy that was pure and at the same time wicked. I tapped my paws together in applause, and she delivered a mock curtsey that made me burst into laughter -- a curious sound in my kitsune form, like Lauren Bacall impersonating the bark of a small dog who smoked two packs a day. The vixen laughed with me.

After we stopped, Akomachi placed her fish back into the stream gently. Instead of continuing to fish, she padded up onto the river bank and sat near me, by the edge. "You do agree," she said, "that the Arbiters are somewhat ... limited in their point of view?"

"Absolutely," I replied, watching my own fish slip away. "Because of the nature of their work, they only see that part of the Omniverse for which they are responsible, and view all things through the filter of their obsession. That's how Leander's punishment came to be. A human is different from a demon, and deserves a different punishment. They just didn't know better, because they couldn't." I glided up onto the bank and sat beside her, our legs just touching. We both looked out at the water together in a companionable silence. "Still," I continued, "they did help me past a difficult situation and gave me the ability to do some good, so I am somewhat ... predisposed towards thinking kindly of them."

"Even if their help came at a price?"

I smiled. "Casa, almost everything comes at a price ... and this price was one I was willing, even eager to pay. I know you know that. And if the giver is the universe, the price is one of roads not taken, or opportunities missed. For a new job, you must pay with the security and familiarity of the old one. For adult pleasures, you pay with the innocence of youth." I shrugged, and turned my nose down towards the water. My reflection gazed back, placid and quite centered, and for the first time, I noticed that my ears were actually black. "If the might-have-been was a universal currency, everyone in existence would be rich beyond measure."

I watched Akomachi's reflection look at me, curiosity clearly evident in the tilt of her head. "How did you become so wise, Becca-chan?"

I grinned and shook my head. "Wise? I don't know about that. But I have learned a lot. I lived for over forty years surrounded by the most dangerous creatures in the Omniverse -- humans. I kept my eyes open and my feet on the ground. And I suffered every minute of every day for being what I was not, and knowing it would never change." One of her tails brushed my side gently, over and over. I felt her love as a tangible force, and sighed. "It made me sensitive to the suffering of others. It helped me share their pain."

"I understand your need," Akomachi said softly, "as you understood mine in the Cat's cavern, because I felt the shadow of it when we were one. I could have helped you in your youth, if you had only called out to me as you did before. But for all of your reverence and respect for my kind, you did not truly believe we were real. So you did not call."

"I only wish I had, Casa. Perhaps my call would never have reached you, had I not been given this power by the Omnipresence." I sighed again. "We will never know. Still, my suffering brought me to think more than most about the nature of reality, and of humankind. So if I am wise, blame my wisdom on thinking too much."

The vixen's shape shimmered and blurred, and suddenly a large white fox sat beside me. Only her nine tails showed her true nature. She threw me a predator's grin, and I gave her one back. Then I concentrated, and my own form changed to that of a red and white fox. I watched my vision shift again, becoming sharper with more muted colors. Akomachi turned and began padding towards the forest. I followed, still getting used to the experience of moving on all fours.

"It is more than thinking too much, I think," she said, her voice suddenly in my head. "You are gifted. You perceive the universe as an intricate series of layers, woven together and interacting on levels others cannot even begin to imagine. You can truly see through the eyes of others, gain their perspective with but a thought -- not by reading their minds, but by seeing the world as they see it. You can solve problems by literally turning the Universe on its side in your mind, and seeing things in a new way. It has helped you thousands of times in your earlier human life, before your encounter that morning and your new life as the Advocate."

I started to protest, and the vixen turned her head to face me. The look in her eyes stopped me in my tracks. It was stern and focused. "And now you seek to deny it -- to deny who you are. 'Does a mountain deny itself? Does a river?'" My own words turned against me, there was nothing I could say. Akomachi's voice softened in my head. "Do not try to lie to me, daughter, after what we have shared. These are things that need to be said ... and heard." I stayed silent. Her eyes narrowed. "I know you are embarrassed by being better than other humans. You wish to hide what makes you special. Tell me why."

"Surely you already know," I said softly. She nodded.

"Of course I do, and so do you. But I want you to say it. To ... acknowledge it. Can you?"

My turn to nod. "I have always believed that thinking you're better than other people is wrong. It's the first step on the road to becoming everything I despise -- to becoming a slave to my own ego. I don't want to believe I'm better than other people, because that implies that other people are less than I am. Once that happens, I'll start believing I have the right to tell others how to live their lives, just because I'm better. Better to deny that I am special than to admit it to myself and risk becoming the jerk I could be."

Akomachi nodded once, decisively, then sat directly in front of me. "Now, Becca-chan ... what is wrong with your theory?"

"I don't know," I said sheepishly, looking away.

"You do know," the vixen replied sharply. "But since it is my turn to state the obvious, I will oblige. The phrase 'all men are created equal' is a fiction. There are those among your kind who can run a mile in under four minutes. They are better than you at running ... at least in your human form. Does that make you somehow less than they are? No. It makes them better at moving quickly. That is all. You, however, can see the world from multiple perspectives, and solve problems they don't even know exist. This does not make them less than you. It just makes them different. And you know this. I know you do."

I hung my head, still in fox form. She padded over to me and pressed her body against mine, tucking her head under my chin and nuzzling my throat.

"Oh, Becca-chan," she sighed, her voice echoing in my head. "I think who you really are and what you can do is a large part of why you were chosen to be the Advocate. You could be the greatest force for good your people have ever known, but first you have to believe in yourself. The Arbiters do. Your human family and your friends do, too. Your ... boyfriend as well, although he does not know everything about you. And I? I believe in you most of all. Because I have been you, and you are indeed very special. You just need to see that, daughter."

Suddenly, I began to tremble all over, and both Akomachi and I reverted to kitsune form. I found her arms around me, holding me close and cradling me to her breast, and I felt the tears running down my nose and disappearing into her fur.

"Ssssssh," she whispered. "I know why you cry. Tell me, so you can tell yourself."

"Because I'm so scared!" My voice shook. "I have all this power, and I'm supposed to be able to use it, and protect people, and stop the 'bad guys.' And you tell me I'm better, and I'm special. You tell me I could be great." I felt Akomachi nod. "That's all well and good. But what if I'm not as 'special' as you think? What if I'm not good enough? I'm the only hope for those boys who were changed -- and maybe for the girls who are being changed by the Cat. What if I try to save them all, and fail? What then?"

There was a silence, and a sigh. "Becca-chan. What will happen if you do not even try?"

I froze and thought about what she had said. I remembered what I had thought in the cavern, just before confronting the Cat goddess. 'Always assume you can succeed. Otherwise, you're defeated before you begin.'

If I didn't try, I would definitely fail. No one would be saved, and I would curse my cowardice for letting it happen. But if I stopped being afraid and took a chance ... if I actually believed in myself, the way everyone else seemed to ... maybe we would all come out of this whole.

Maybe we could actually win.

I looked up and found the vixen looking down at me, a small smile playing at the edge of her mouth.

"Enlightenment," she said simply. "You will do what you must, because you have to. It is who you are. You will embrace your power, and your destiny. And you will prove, to yourself and to everyone, that you are every bit as gifted as I know you are. That you are everything you need to be to fulfill your oath and protect your kind."

Akomachi gave me a final squeeze, and stood. I looked up at her from the ground. She held out a paw. I took it, and she pulled me to my feet.

"You are always welcome here, daughter." She grinned her predator's grin. "But it is time for you to return to your own world, and consider what we have talked about. Focus your mind and retrieve your human form."

I did, and after a few seconds of shimmering in the air around me, a naked human Becca stood shivering slightly in the tall grass. I closed my eyes, and the clothing I had whisked away in the cavern came back and wrapped me in its embrace. Akomachi towered over the human me, still smiling. I hugged her tight.

"Thank you, Casa," I whispered. She hugged me back.

"You know I will stand with you, Becca-chan, when the time comes to face the goddess." Her voice rumbled in her chest. "As my child, it is my right to stand beside you in a time of challenge. The battle is yours to win, of course, but I know ... you will always make me proud."

I appeared back in the hallway of my home. Akomachi had helped me to orient myself, taught me the technique with a touch that brought it back from the memories she had shared with me during our time together, and watched me 'port home. After the tense confrontation in the cavern and the hyper-reality of Akomachi's home, my human reality seemed smaller somehow.

As in fact, it was. But small or not, it was home, and I was happy to be back.

I felt dizzy, just for a few seconds, and reached out with one hand to steady myself on the wall. The coolness of it against my fingertips brought me further back into the world. I closed my eyes and breathed in the air, scented with something sweet I couldn't quite identify. The bra and jeans that had fit so well a few hours of my lifetime ago seemed snug after bare skin and soft fur, but the feeling helped to ground me more.

"You okay, Bee?" I felt a hand on my shoulder, and opened my eyes to find Amy looking at me, her concern evident.

I smiled. "Just a little shaky," I said, reaching up to pat her hand with mine. "It's been a rough couple of days, after all."

She nodded, and chewed on her lower lip for a second. "Becca ... do you really want to go shopping? I mean, I was kinda into it and didn't think to ask if you were up to it ..."

"... and I knew you were into it and didn't want to spoil your fun," I finished for her. "Truth is, Ames ... I dunno. I'd love to go shopping with you, but I don't know if I'm up to 'shop 'til you drop' right now." I grinned. "I think I'd wind up dropping pretty fast."

Amy smiled back, then looked down, embarrassed. A few seconds later, she raised her head and smiled. "Maybe we should just hang in today, then. You know, listen to some tunes, watch some TV. Would that be okay?"

I gave her a big hug. "Better than okay, girl. I can't think of anyplace else I'd rather be."

We spent the rest of the day doing pretty much nothing much at all. It was wonderful. When Amy heard I was cleaning out my closet to make room for Heather, she looked at everything Heather didn't choose to keep with an eye for expanding her own wardrobe. Soon, Heather and I were watching Amy try on things while my computer played alternative rock by bands whose names Jack barely registered, even though Becca knew them intimately. Heather didn't seem at all embarrassed or upset by Amy stripping down to her underwear, and she didn't have a problem with doing the same when Amy begged to see the red dress Heather had tried on the night before.

When we all moved to the kitchen to raid the fridge, we found Jeremy buried in the new Samurai Champloo video game, and descended upon him as a group to wrest the controller from his grasp and do some serious playing ourselves. At first, Jeremy was a little upset. But since we immediately replaced the controller with a very cuddly (and loving) Heather, he suddenly decided that holding a warm girl beat holding a piece of cold plastic any day, and left Amy and I to wield our katanas in peace.

By late afternoon, we were all stretched out in front of the television, giving Heather a crash course in geek by watching the first episode of the Battlestar Galactica miniseries on DVD. Jeremy and Heather were snuggled in the loveseat, so totally wrapped around each other that I suspected neither of them was actually watching the screen. I was on the sofa with Amy, my head resting on her lap as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"I'm glad you didn't die the other day," she said in a low voice, almost as if she was afraid to say it.

I turned my head to look up at her. "Me, too," I replied with a grin.

"Shut UP!" she squealed, and mussed up my hair with both hands. I giggled and turned my head all the way to tickle her tummy with my nose. Amy shrieked and started tickling me with both hands, and the two of us rolled onto the floor, laughing and screaming like idiots. Heather and Jeremy looked up for a moment, confused, then looked back at each other and went on with the kissing.

Hours later, Amy had gone home, Heather was picking out her outfit for tomorrow's school day, and as a nod to my earlier meeting with the Cat goddess, I was curled up on the sofa in a purple "Hello Kitty" nightgown and fuzzy slippers. The phone rang, and I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Becca." Tommy's voice sounded happy and warm, and I felt a sudden rush of heat wash over me.

"TOMMY!" I squealed, and heard him laugh.

"Glad you're so happy to hear from me, babe," he said, and I heard the tenderness in his voice.

"You have no idea," I purred at him. "Drop on by and I'll show you just how glad I am."

He laughed again. "Don't tease, please. Or you're gonna wind up with a very interested boyfriend beating a hole in your door at two a.m. Then what ya going to do?"

I smiled a smile he could feel through the phone. "You did ask me not to tease, Tomcat. Do you really want me to tell you?"

"Down, girl! I thought you didn't want to jump ... or be jumped ... just yet." There was a pause, and a little hesitancy. "Unless ... that's changed?"

"I'm sorry, baby," I said softly. "I'm being awful, I know. I just ... I do want it. Just ... it's scary how much I want it, and I love you so much I know I'm going to say yes sooner than I should." I took a deep breath. "Dancing so close to the edge, like we do, it makes me feel sooo ... but I'm still too young. You are, too."

"I know." His heavy sigh rolled through my heart. "But the 'everything else' is so sweet, you won't catch me saying no the next time we're together." Another long pause. "'Tomcat,' huh? Where did that come from?"

I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me. "Not sure. It just felt right."

He thought some more. "Well, I sorta like it. But just so you know, this tomcat doesn't go out yowling for anyone else but his girl. And he never will."

"I know," I whispered, my heart beating faster. "Thank you for understanding."

"Good things come to them that waits," Tommy replied with a grin in his voice. "That's what my Grandpa always said, and I waited long enough just to find you, so he musta been right. I can wait until we're both ready, 'cause I know we will be, someday." His voice dropped low, almost as if he didn't want anyone else to hear. "Love you, babe."

"Love you, Tommy."

"In the meantime," he went on, his voice still low, "while we're ... waiting, how about meeting me tomorrow morning before homeroom? Under the stairs by the girl's locker room? I need a really good reason to climb out of bed tomorrow to go to school, and you in my arms with your lips on mine is the only thing I can think of."

I felt a shiver run through me. "I'll be there, I promise. Ummm ... don't start without me?"

He snorted, then laughed. "God, you make me happy."

"You too." There was a warm silence, and Tommy cleared his throat. "I guess I'd better get off the phone before we both explode."

"That would be messy," I said seriously, then ruined it with a giggle. "See you in the morning, Tomcat."

"You sure will. Bye, Becca."

I hung up the phone and curled up into a ball, hugging the warm feeling he left in my middle and wishing the Arbiters could have made me just a year or two older.

God, how I wanted that boy!

It was about two o'clock in the morning when I woke from a sound sleep and smiled. I knew exactly how to deal with Leander's redemption. Mrs. Graymalkin was right -- the answer was right in front of me all along. I spent a half hour turning the solution around in my head, looking for weak spots while I listened to Heather snoring softly above me.

Suddenly, I realized that I didn't want to let this hang any longer. I wanted to deal with it tonight -- well, as much as I could deal with it tonight, anyway.

I reached out with my mind, and fingers of magical energy stretched across the planet, looking for the person I needed to speak with to set things in motion. I felt a jolt that shuddered through me, and smiled.

Leander was awake. I could feel it.

I rolled out of bed, wandered over to the mirror, and tried to get my hair into some semblance of order. I didn't have a lot of luck, but a scrunchy and a quick ponytail helped some. I was girl enough to know that I wasn't going for an uninvited visit without at least trying to make myself a little more presentable.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to be ...

... somewhere else.

It turned out to be a suburban American kitchen, decorated in the latest style and spotlessly clean. I appeared behind Leander. She was wearing a pink teddy with a matching silk robe over it, and heeled slippers. Her hair was tousled and out of place, her head was bowed, and I saw her shoulders shaking.

There was a slight smell of recent sex in the room. A glass of wine and a bottle of chardonnay sat on the kitchen table in front of her, and as I watched, she raised the glass with a trembling hand and took a dainty sip. When she put it back on the table, Leander froze, just for an instant. I saw her shoulders straighten, and her head come up. Her eyes met mine in the reflection in the kitchen window.

"Hello, Advocate." Her voice was shaking, just a little, but there was still a bit of her old attitude slipping past the tears. Her eyes traveled down to my nightgown, and she smiled. "A ... fetching ensemble, Becca."

"Thank you, Leander," I said, and threw her a small curtsey. "You're looking pretty nice yourself. Did you ... choose that?"

She grimaced and shook her head. "Hardly. He wants this." She waved her hand across her breasts. "Wants his little wifey to look pretty when she gives him what he needs. And this is tame, compared to some of the other things he wants me to wear when we ... do it." She looked down. "Not to mention what he wants me to do."

"I'm surprised you're out here," I said, looking back at her in the glass. "Doesn't he want to cuddle afterwards?"

Leander gave an unladylike snort, and took another sip of wine. "That might be the case if he actually loved me. I think I fit in his view of the world somewhere around the same level as a family dog. If we had a dog, that is." She laughed, the sound dry and empty. "I'm just the friendly bitch who can make him cum. And do his laundry, and make his meals, and worship the ground he walks on. Every. Single. Day." She laughed again, and it sounded like the sound autumn leaves make when they're blown across the pavement on a cold November night. "I am just his wet dream made warm flesh. And every time I pleasure him, those bastards who did this to me make me love it. They make me cum, too ... and that makes me want something I should despise."

She turned around and faced me head on. "My God, how could you ever WANT to be a woman? To be some man's plaything? Pretty little painted toy, always bent to some man's will? Why would you turn your back on being a man and choose ... this?" The pain and anger warred on her face, and the tears kept pouring out. Finally, she turned away from me and bowed her head. Her shoulders started shaking again as she curled into herself.

I didn't think. I didn't have to. I walked up behind her, put my arms around her, and just held her. She stiffened for an instant, then broke down in huge sobs that made my heart ache. I poured my own compassion into her, let her feel how I felt for her as it washed through her soul. At first she resisted, but I kept wrapping her in layers of true emotion, and she saw how much I cared about her pain, and hated what they had done to her for so long.

Eventually, the tears subsided. I still held her, only I had slipped to the floor beside her chair and wrapped my arms around her torso. Her arms had found their way around me, and when I was sure she was listening, I spoke.

"What the Arbiters did to you had nothing to do with being a woman." She could hear the anger in my voice. "They used that body as a prison and tortured you with it. They did more harm than good, and never intended this to end. This has always been slavery instead of punishment, with no hope of redemption. It was wrong, and I told them so. At some length, I might add."

"You what?" Leander froze in disbelief. I let her go and moved away from her so I could look into her eyes.

"I told them they were wrong to do what they did to you, and after going away and thinking about it for a while, they agreed." I sighed. "So ... you're my responsibility, now."

Her eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?"

"Well, they aren't your jailers anymore. I am. So what happens to you now ... is up to me."

She went stiff, all over, and her voice became very cold. "So what are you going to do to me?"

"Well, turn you back into a man, for a start," I replied, and smiled. "If that's what you really want."

Leander's mouth opened, but nothing came out. She seemed to be in shock, and I couldn't blame her. "A m-m-m -- man?"

I nodded. "I'd have to take away your magic, and give you something of a stake so you could make your way in today's world, but if you want to be a man again, that's fine. You've spent five hundred years trapped in a body you despised. I think that's enough to punish you for your crimes, don't you?"

She nodded without really thinking, and one hand rose up to touch her breast, still wrapped in pink silk.

"The trouble is, your punishment created its own problems, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with those." Leander looked down at me, and her eyes filled with confusion. I sighed. "Good God, Leander, you're filled with hate and anger, and I don't blame you. You have been ill-used, and twisted by time and circumstance into thinking a woman's role is to be a man's slave. You don't have a clue what being a real woman is, and the past five centuries have done nothing to show you how to truly behave like a man instead of a tyrant. If I just set you free, even without your magic, I could be causing more harm than you did before you were caught."

The poor girl looked like she was going to cry again, and I shook my head and gave her arms a squeeze. "You're not staying like this, hon. I promise." I paused, then plunged ahead. "I have a proposition to make -- one that will benefit us both in the years to come."

She cocked her head, and I continued. "I'd like you to come and work for me. I'm looking for a knight in shining armor, but a spell-slinging ex-warlord and former housewife will do."

Leander laughed, a truly feminine sound that almost stopped her from continuing. When she got over her initial shock, she said, "You must be joking."

I shook my head. "I'm not. I don't care if your armor's tarnished -- hell, if you were 'sans peur et sans reproche,' you never would have wound up in that cute pink teddy, or on the wrong end of five hundreds years of domestic and sexual servitude. What I want to do is give you a chance to learn what it means to be a good man."

She shook her head and sneered. "Like you could give me lessons in manhood, Rebecca?"

My own anger flashed out. "I was a good husband and father for a lot of years, bitch," I snapped. "I may not have liked being a man, but I worked at it, and I did my best. I was proud of who I was -- who I made myself become. I was a good man. Could you ever say the same? How many people did you hurt for the fun of it? How many were killed because you were playing with other people's lives? Entire armies ... hell, whole villages of innocents died for your entertainment! That's not being a man. That's being an asshole, on a level so high you only come out looking good in comparison to Vlad the Impaler and Josef Mengele." I took a deep breath. "Right now, I'm trying very hard to forget all the bad you did because of all the bad the Arbiters put you through, but you're not making it easy. So just shut up and let me finish making you an offer ... before I decide to forget the whole thing and send you back to bed with Hubby."

Leander looked at me, her eyes wide with fear. "Y-y-y-you promised I wouldn't have to stay like this!"

I sighed, and nodded. "I did. That's true. But there are worse things I could think of than locking you away in a suburban house in Vicki's lingerie. Think about it." I paused for a second to let that sink in, then sighed and went on in a normal tone. "If you're working for me, you get to keep your magic, and use it to make things right. You will be fighting against magical entities who would prey on those less powerful than themselves, and there will be times when you will get to make the bad guys pay. But you will be working for me. I'm the boss. I call the shots, and you do what I say, or else."

There was a long silence. "For how long?' Leander's voice was small, and shaking.

"Until I see you've changed," I replied. "Until I decide you're not the ego-driven tyrant you used to be. Until I believe you actually care about the people we're going to save. Until I look over one morning and see a good man standing in your place. It's my call ... my decision. That's the deal."

She sat there, her eyes unfocused, and I knew she was thinking about the possibility of finally being free -- even if it might not be for years, or even decades. Finally, Leander spoke.

"Assuming I agree to 'work' for you ... how could you possibly trust me not to betray you someday? After all," and she bit off the words as they left her lips, "As you so forcefully pointed out, I was not a good man ... when I was a man. I might turn on you when events conspire to make escape an attractive option."

I shook my head. "You won't."

She focused all her attention on me, surprised at my tone. "You seem so certain. Why?"

"Because there's one thing about you that hasn't changed, in all the years you've been trapped in that body." I smiled. "Your pride. Your ... honor. You may not have been a good man, but you were a man. And that makes some things more important to you ... than freedom." I looked back at her, catching her eyes with mine. "You told me back in the hospital that you have always kept your word, no matter what. And you said that if you promised to fight beside me, you would. Did you mean it?"

She sat up straight, her back stiffened. "I did. Despite the endless lies of love I've been forced to spout to five centuries of husbands, I still have my honor. If I ever break my word, duly given with my full knowledge and consent, I would be no better than the 'plaything' your Arbiters made me. And that would kill me as sure as a sword."

"I believe you." I took a deep breath. "Would you be willing to swear an oath of fealty?"

Leander reared back, and her eyes flashed. "To who? The Arbiters? No! I would never --"

I held up one hand. "No. Not to the Arbiters. To me, personally."

"But you work for them!" Her voice shook, this time with anger.

"No. I don't." The calm tone behind my words stopped her cold. "I work for the Omnipresence, if I work for anyone at all. I am the Advocate. My job is to protect all humans from magical abuse, even when perpetrated by others with official standing, like the Arbiters." I leaned forward. "That's why I'm here, now, Leander. To save you from them, and what they've done -- but only if you are willing to swear, on your honor, to be loyal, obedient, faithful and true ... to me."

"Not to your office, Advocate?" There was a ghost of suspicion behind the question, as if this was all a scheme to trap her as my personal servant for all eternity.

I smiled, just a little. "The office is only as good as the person who holds it. I plan to be here for a long while, but I will not make you beholden to whoever comes after me. That would be almost as bad as leaving you in the hands of the Arbiters. No, you would serve me -- and if you served me faithfully and well, you would be free if I should die."

There was another long silence as Leander considered everything this might mean. I sat down across from her, and took both of her hands in mine. My touch seemed to frighten her, when I meant it to comfort and reassure. I gave her hands a squeeze and she looked at me, curious.

"I understand how this must feel," I said, holding her eyes with mine. "If you agree and swear this oath, you would be putting yourself in my service willingly, and it has never been in your nature to serve anyone's interests but your own. And I am not surprised that five hundred years as a sex slave and domestic servant hasn't made you sing the praises of working for others. But working for others is the reason I chose to become the Advocate. I'm not about to become what I have sworn to fight."

I let go of her hands and stood up. "This is a big decision. I don't expect an answer tonight. And if the answer is 'no,' we'll work something else out. Just think about what I'm offering before you turn me down, okay?"

"And what is that, exactly?" I raised an eyebrow. It was my turn to be confused. Heck, it WAS going on three a.m., after all. Leander sighed. "What exactly are you offering me?"

"A chance to be free to chart your own course for the first time in centuries. A chance to use your magick skills to do some good for a change," I replied with a grin, "and maybe ... the chance to put a little shine on your armor."

From the doorway behind her, a hulking figure emerged, groaning slightly and scratching his genitals.

"Hey, bitch." His voice managed to combine the snarling menace of a full-grown man with the petulance of a spoiled two-year-old. "I didn't tell you to get out of bed. I want you to do me seven ways from Sunday before the dawn's early light, so get your ass back there and start making me happy."

From the instant he entered the room, Leander's whole demeanor had changed. She immediately wrapped herself around him, rubbing her whole body against his and apologizing the entire time. "Oh, Joey, I'msosorryIwasn'ttherewhenyouwokeup ..." She trailed her tongue down his neck and wrapped his hardness in her hand, squeezing gently. "Pleasepleasepleaseplease please forgive me? I'll be very good, I promise." She leaned over and purred in his ear. "Very, very good."

Joey, the husband du jour, looked over at me while Leander fawned over him. I could almost feel her inside the pretty shell, screaming in frustration at being yanked so soon from her freedom.

"Well, well," he said with a self-satisfied purr. "Fresh meat. One of Lee Ann's friends, huh?" He ran his eyes over my thirteen-year-old body, tracing my curves and engraving them in the back of his mind so he could have great fantasy sex with an under aged girl later. It made my stomach turn. "Hey, baby. Wanna make it a threesome?"

I shook my head. "I would rather French kiss a rabid wolverine in a pit full of rattlesnakes," I replied, "than get into a bed with you, you repulsive troll."

He looked confused for a second, his hand squeezing Leander's bottom in an absent-minded sort of way. Then the fog lifted as he finally processed my answer. "Hey! That's not nice!"

"Neither are you," I pointed out cheerfully. "That doesn't stop you from saying the most revolting things, now does it?"

Again, his mind boggled at trying to interpret my words, and finally he shook his head.

"Awww, who needs you when I got her? You're barely out of a trainin' bra anyway." That stung, a little, until I considered the source. Joey swung Leander around, still kneading her ass, and started guiding her out the door. "Come on, sweet cheeks. I'm in the mood for some bedroom golf. Let's see how many holes I can play before the sun comes up." Leander giggled inanely, and I lost my temper completely.

"Let's not, Joey," I snapped. "If you were any more disgusting, I'd have to stamp XXX across your forehead and check IDs at the door."

I reached out and pulled Leander off of him, then threw her back across the room towards the kitchen table. She plopped down in the chair by her wine glass and threw me a picture perfect pout, as if she really wanted to go with the jerk. Joey stood there, stunned for a moment, then turned red with anger. His hands became fists, and he took a step toward me, roaring. "Just who the hell do you think you are?"

Ha! I thought triumphantly. A straight line if ever I heard one.

"Your worst nightmare, punk," I replied in my best Clint Eastwood drawl. "A woman who can say no!" With a flick of my wrist, I sent him ... elsewhere.

Leander's return to sanity was punctuated by a single gasp, the clink of a bottleneck meeting a glass, and a hearty gulp. I turned to find the glass at her lips, and watched her put it back on the table. She turned to face me.

"Mon Dieu," she said, betraying a French heritage I didn't know she possessed. "What did you do?"

"Got mad, I guess," I said with a mischievous grin. "It happens sometimes, and if you're going to work for me, you'll see it more often than I'd like. Besides, you needed to think about my offer, and with him around, all you could think about was sex."

Leander looked around the room, as if she could find Joey hiding behind the toaster oven. "Where did you send him?"

"Well, he couldn't seem to stop thinking about sex either, so I thought I'd give him more than he could stomach. Literally." I could barely keep the smile in check, and suddenly it just rolled out and made itself at home on my face. "I turned him into a big-breasted blonde bombshell, made him submissive as all hell, and dropped him down smack in the middle of a three-day bachelor party in Vegas. He'll do whatever they want, whenever they want, and never say no. And when it's over, Joey will wake up in Vegas on Tuesday morning in his old body, dressed in a silver lame bikini that's two sizes too small. He'll have an odd salty sweet taste in his mouth, and feel sore in places he shouldn't even have. Then he'll remember just enough to make him shake all over until he can make himself forget."

Her eyes narrowed. "Did you really do that?"

I grinned. "No." Leander blinked. "I sent him into a pocket universe I just set up, where time runs at a very different speed. He'll pop back here whenever I decide to let him out, and think it's still today." She gave me the weirdest look, and I shrugged. "Oh, I won't say I wasn't tempted to send him to Vegas and put him through all that, but in the end, he's probably just as much a pawn of the Arbiters as you are." I sighed. "With great power comes great responsibility, Leander. As the Advocate, I need to think in terms of a measured response. It wasn't as if he was guilty of anything other than being a boorish, uncaring jerk, and I don't know how much of that disgusting performance was added by the Arbiters for your benefit."

I took an extra wineglass from the cabinet and slid into the chair opposite Leander's. "Besides," I said as I poured a small amount of wine, "in the end, if Joey doesn't wise up, he's going to wind up punishing himself for the way he's treated you."

"How?"

"He has spent years treating you like dirt and getting anything he wanted in return. Naturally, he assumes that's how women like to be treated." I grinned and took a sip. "It is soooo not true, of course, but Joey doesn't know that. As a result, he will spend the rest of his life wondering why women find him so repulsive, and eventually die clueless ... and alone -- unless he gets smart and grows up."

Leander took a sip of her own wine, and in a quiet voice, she said, "I hope he does. Get smart, I mean." When she saw the astonished look on my face, she gave me a small smile and shrugged. "I have spent fifteen years with Joey, and countless years before that with men just like him. I see in him an echo of the man I was, so long ago. For that alone, I would wish he could learn what not to do, and find some measure of happiness." She put her glass down and hugged herself under her breasts. "Also, I have spent a long time ... loving him, even if I was forced to do so. Part of me cannot help but wish him well, even as another part despises everything he's done to me. It's ... complicated."

"Now that's what it means to be a woman." I smiled as she cocked her head. "It's always ... complicated."

Leander smiled back, and we shared a moment before she looked down at her glass and sighed. I waited. Finally, she spoke.

"I don't know exactly what being a good man means," she said in a small voice, "and I'm not even sure I could learn to be one if I knew. What if I try ... and fail?"

"That's the wrong question to ask, hon," I replied, putting my hand on hers. "What you should be asking yourself is, 'what if I try ... and succeed?' Five hundred years is a long time to be trapped inside a life you never chose. This is a chance to choose again -- and maybe do some good."

I stood up. "Like I said before, I don't expect an answer tonight. Joey won't be back until I bring him back, so take a few days and think. No matter what, this part of your life is over. Think about what you want to replace it. As for me, I've got school tomorrow." I shook my head. "I can't believe I just said that."

I walked to the center of the room. "Call me if you want to talk, or if you have an answer. Either way, Joey doesn't come back until you've moved on." I started focusing, getting ready to 'port home.

"Becca." I opened my eyes. Leander was standing by the table, her mouth set in a grim line. She looked me in the eye. "Write me an oath, I'll take it."

"That was quick."

"I've had five centuries of waiting," she said softly. "Some decisions ... make themselves. And there's something about you ... something that makes me want to believe in you, in spite of myself. It's foolish, and sentimental, and wrong in too many ways to count. But maybe I've been a woman long enough to count on my ... intuition. Or maybe I just want to believe in something after all those years."

I took a step towards her, and she took one toward me. Suddenly, inexplicably, we were hugging. It didn't last long, and Leander seemed to melt into it for an instant, before drawing back, embarrassed. I saw her face and smiled.

"We'll write the oath together," I said. "It should bind us both and serve us both. Otherwise, it's just a waste of breath."

"Agreed ... My Lady."

"Save it until afterwards, 'Lee Ann.'" I squeezed her arms and let go. "You're not my knight yet. Right now, let's both get some rest. We'll work on the oath tomorrow. "

"Yes, I forgot. It's a 'school night.'" Leander grinned, teasing me a little. "I think I'll sleep in. It's been a while since I had the bed to myself."

"I'll bet." Again, I moved to the center of the room and started to focus. As I began my 'port home, I watched the smile grow on her face, and I knew I'd made the right call.

I just hoped everyone else agreed.

Notes: