Game Over

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Game Over
by Randalynn

When Frank lost a bet with his wife, it turned out to be the beginning of the game, and not the end. Can he figure out the rules and find a way to win, before he loses everything?

###

Frank Warren stood by the pay phones in the shopping mall, fuming.

'I must have been crazy to make that stupid bet with her,' he thought again. 'Wrestling? I mean, come on! I knew she was stronger than me. Hell, she lifts weights! But I figured it was just the start of some sort of silly game between us. I thought she would let me win, and she would play the maid long enough for us to make it to the bedroom and have a little fun. After all, she does like to play. Or did, before this.'

'Well, it was a game all right.' Frank shook his head ruefully. 'Her game, and I'm still trying to figure out how to win.' He looked at his reflection in the store window across from the row of phones. His body was padded and perfumed and wrapped in a flowered sundress that framed the two faux breasts glued onto his skinny chest. He knew without looking that the skin color of his unwelcome additions matched his own exactly, creating a deep cleavage that no man's eye could resist. His hair had been lengthened with extensions and dyed a rich auburn, and his eyes took in the carefully arched eyebrows and perfectly shaped lips.

'Everyone knows I never back out of a wager,' he grumbled. 'She knew it, too. That's how I wound up here. So now I've got two whole months of being her maid! I'm a tenured professor of English literature, damn it! She's had me working fourteen hours a day, seven days a week, for three weeks straight already. Almost half the summer... gone! My entire vacation shot!'

Frank felt his eyes filling with tears and fought it back. 'Scrubbing the whole house until it shines! Cooking her gourmet meals, bringing her breakfast in bed, drawing her bath -- and all in those stupid black uniforms. First, she banishes me to the guest room and takes away all of my regular clothes, so all I have to wear are the maid outfits. Then when I complain, she buys me stuff like this to wear, and orders me to wear it during the few hours each night I'm not doing everything else. She says an employer has the right to ensure her employees dress to impress in their off-time, and since I'm hers for the summer, I have to do as she says.'

'Still, dragging me out of the house and arranging a makeover at the salon was too much,' Frank remembered. He stood in the entryway of their home and put his foot down, only to be cowed into submission by his wife's sharp-tongued reply.

"Do you want people to know you're a man in a dress? You look absolutely precious, but there are still enough rough edges to make people wonder. Would you like this to get out? All your friends, laughing at you? And everyone at the school? All of your colleagues? I'm doing this to save you embarrassment, 'Frannie.' So get in the car and let the girls at the salon make you pretty, or I'll call everyone and let them know what English professors are really wearing this season!"

So Frank went, although part of him was ashamed his protest ended so quickly.

Afterwards, Debbie insisted on going out to the mall and having lunch in the food court, supposedly to prove to Frank that he was completely passable. Who should be there buying his own meal but her old boyfriend Paul from college and a friend of his named Stan. Instead of letting Frank fade into the background and hide, she dragged him forward and introduced him as her cousin Fran, visiting from Cinncinnati. She told Paul that she and Frank were separated, and would probably be getting divorced soon. Frank was surprised to the point of speechlessness, and when Paul asked Debbie if she and Fran would like to double-date that night, he was stunned when Debbie said yes!

With a mumbled "excuse me," Frank turned and stalked off, his heels making his padded bottom sway from side to side. Walking faster only made it worse, but all he wanted to do was get away from that woman and her unbelievable attempts to humiliate him.

He turned the corner, out of Debbie's line of sight. He crossed his arms under his breasts and began to pace. 'She lied to those men!' He was still surprised and more than a little hurt. 'Or was she really thinking of divorce? What did I do to deserve this? Why is she doing this to me? What sort of game is she playing?'

Debbie came around the corner, her face red. She stopped inches from Frank and hissed, "What are you doing? Get back out there this instant!"

"What am I doing? What are YOU doing?" Frank replied, leaning forward until his nose practically touched hers. "Setting us up on a double date? Telling Paul we're separated? Practically divorced? What is THAT all about?"

"Well, you didn't want me to tell him the truth, did you? 'Oh, Paul, this is my husband Frank -- isn't he pretty?'" Debbie's face suddenly changed, and Frank was close enough to see it all. Her joy and hatred mixed with undercurrents of malicious glee, capped by the sudden smirk that let him see she thought she had him trapped. "All right, Frank. If that's the way you want it. I'll give you a choice. You march right out there and tell them the truth, or keep your mouth shut and go out on that double date tonight!"

The threat of exposure hit him hard, but the look in her eyes when she delivered it hit him harder still. The hatred. The triumph. Everything stopped for Frank as his mind replayed the whole summer -- everything that had happened to him since that damned bet. Up until this point, Frank had spent all his waking hours playing catch-up, with little time to think about his situation other than to kick himself for his own stupidity. Now that he could take a step back, he saw the cruelty in her face for what it really was -- the reason for this entire charade.

She had used his male pride and his love of gambling to set him up for a summer in dresses as her slave. She forced him to work for her non-stop, and humiliated him over and over again.

And because she had him dressed as a woman, she could use it as a club whenever she needed it. By threatening him with exposure if he didn't do as she commanded, she could push him further and further into her web and make him more and more feminine, so she could control him even more.

It was a vicious cycle, designed to cut him down an episode at a time until there would be nothing left but a beaten bit of fluff where Frank Warren used to stand.

And here he had thought that she loved him.

Frank came out of his freeze with a strange resolve. 'No matter what game she's playing,' he thought with a smile, 'maybe it's time I changed the rules a bit.' With that thought, he threw his shoulders back, thrust his chest out, and left Debbie behind as he marched back around the corner to where the two men still waited in the center of the food court.

###

Debbie watched him walk towards Paul and Stan with an evil grin. 'There was no way Frank would ever "out" himself to anyone,' she thought, 'let alone to one of my old boyfriends.' She had won ... again! When she first thought about doing this to him, it was just another game -- a way to spice up her happy but boring life with her husband. She had always secretly wondered how Frank would look in women's clothing, and this seemed like a good way to find out. She had never intended it to go quite this far, but pushing poor, clueless Frank around all summer was rapidly becoming her favorite pastime -- especially since Frank had no idea what was really going on!

The trip to the salon was priceless, and left Frank both confused and vulnerable. Even she was having trouble still seeing the man behind the illusion. Debbie wondered how girly she could make Frank before the bet ended. After all, she had just upped the ante to a price her husband never imagined he would have to pay, yet he went back out there prepared to pay it to avoid discovery. Frank would go on this date and play the single girl looking for love. He thought he had no choice.

How far she could push things? Just how far would her husband go, running on a mixture of male pride and raw fear? She couldn't wait to find out.

But for now, she decided that Frank's first punishment for walking away earlier would be to go out there alone and try to make conversation as a woman for a few minutes. Then, maybe ... just maybe ... she'd bail him out!

"Oh, God," she whispered happily, warm all over as she watched her husband walk back into her trap. "This is a blast!"

###

"Excuse me, Paul?" Frank's regular voice cut across the sound of the crowd, and Paul and Stan turned to find Frank standing in front of them. "I'm afraid you've been lied to. The truth is, I am Frank, Debbie's husband. Remember, we met at the wedding?"

"F...Frank?" Paul was clearly stunned, and Frank stuck his hand out. Paul shook it numbly. "Goddamn, it IS you! What the hell are you doing dressed like that?"

Frank blushed under his make-up. "Believe it or not, I lost a stupid bet earlier this summer. The loser had to be the winner's maid for two whole months. Debbie's been holding me to the bet -- making me dress as a woman and working me like a dog for the past three weeks. I'm stuck like this until the end of August."

"Whoa, that's harsh," Stan said, shocked. "Why is she treating you this way?"

Frank shrugged. "I don't have a clue. I'm starting to suspect she rigged the whole thing to turn my summer into a living hell, but I can't figure out why. I've never been anything but loving towards her. I'm just ... stumped."

Paul just shook his head. "That's wild, man. And sad."

"I'm just really surprised she took it this far." Frank shook his head and folded his arms under his faux breasts. "It's bad enough she makes me work hard every day when we were both supposed to be off for the summer, but then to force me to go out in public ... like this? I thought she loved me. I mean, we've been married for years, and I never once saw this side of her. Not once." His voice became a bit rough. "What really hurt the most was having her stand there right in front of me and tell you we're practically divorced. It's like she just wants to hurt me. A lot."

"What a bitch!" Frank turned his head and gave Stan a disapproving look. Stan backed down, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, Frank, but it's true. You're being shafted big time."

Frank nodded. "I know, but she's still my wife. Maybe I still love her, or maybe ... maybe standing up for her is just what I'm used to. Just ... go easy with the name-calling, okay?" Stan nodded.

"Frank," Paul asked gently, "why are you putting up with this shit at all? I mean, if you think she rigged the contest, why keep doing it?"

"Well, it’s partly my fault." Frank looked down at the floor. "She challenged me to a wrestling match. Hell, I knew she could beat me -- after all, she works out all of the time and lifts weights. But I knew she knew it too. So I made the mistake of thinking it wasn't a real bet, or even a real contest. I thought it was just a silly game we were playing." He looked up and smiled. "Besides, I had my pride, and I wasn't going to just admit she could beat me, even though we both knew she could."

"Anyway, I broke the first rule of gambling, and now I have to pay the price. Never make a wager without considering what it would happen if you lose. I made the bet, so now I'm stuck with it." Frank shrugged. "You know how it is. A man always keeps his word. I've never backed out of a wager before, and I'm not going to start now. I'm in it for the long haul."

"Well, I've got to respect you for that, Frank, and that's a fact. We both do." Stan grinned and Paul nodded.

Then Stan's face lit up. "Listen," he said, "what do you say we wait on you for a while, huh? I bet that'll really piss her off when she gets back." He pulled out a chair with a flourish and a smile. Frank smiled back and sat down with an audible sigh, being sure to sweep his skirt under him to avoid giving the whole food court a free flash of panty.

"Thanks," he said, relaxing fully for the first time since the bet began. "I'm still not used to wearing heels. At least Debbie lets me clean the house in flats."

Paul grinned and walked over beside him, pretending to hold a pad and pen. "So what'll it be, Frank? My treat!"

"Ummm ... I could do with a cheeseburger, fries, and a Diet Coke, if that's okay?"

"Sure thing! I'll be right back."

As Paul walked away, Frank looked furtively around the food court.

'Where was Debbie, anyway?'

###

Debbie watched as Paul wandered off and Stan sat down across from Frank. He leaned forward intently.

'Better than I had hoped,' she thought, smiling. 'Stan really seems interested in "Fran." Maybe later, Stan's wandering hands will keep Frank busy long enough for me to get Paul into bed. That'll make Frank suffer in all sorts of awful ways. I can't WAIT until tonight!'

Deciding it was time to resume the game, Debbie made her way across the food court just in time to see Paul delivering a tray of food to Frank.

"Oh, how gallant of you, serving Fran that way," Debbie squealed, smiling. "But you really should be serving me. After all, I'm going to be your date tonight, remember?"

All three men turned to look at her, and with a shock she realized something had gone terribly wrong. Both Paul and Stan stared at her with a mixture of disgust and loathing, but Frank's face held a strange triumph. Somehow, the game had changed -- and she wasn't winning anymore.

Debbie felt sick.

Frank, on the other hand, felt liberated and excited. His fear was gone, and he was finally in control for the first time since this awful summer began. Instead of emasculating him as she had hoped, Debbie's offer had empowered him. Instead of facing Debbie's cruelty all alone, Frank had friends who saw her as she was, and would stand behind him. With one wrong move, she had actually given him a way to take charge again.

He almost laughed at the simplicity of it.

Thanks to Debbie, the truth really had set him free.

And with a sudden rush, Frank knew exactly how to pull Debbie's claws and keep himself sane until the summer's end.

"Oh, Paul?" he asked sweetly. "Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to make a few calls."

"Sure, Frank," Paul replied, his eyes never leaving Debbie's. He reached into his pocket and handed his phone to Frank. "Be my guest. After what you've been through, I'm happy to help any way I can. Just say the word."

"Thanks."

Debbie opened her mouth to try and forbid him from making the call, but Paul stood very close and looked down at her with an expression that clearly conveyed his true feelings. Her heart sank. She had as much chance of getting him in bed -- ever -- as she had of competing in the next Olympic games.

How did it all go so wrong so fast?

Almost numb, she heard Frank's voice.

"Rich? Hi, it's Frank. I know you haven't seen me for a while, and I'm sorry. But actually, that's the reason I called. Is Carrie there? Well, get her on the phone, would you? I've got something to tell you both, and I don't want to have to tell it twice. Heck, I'm going to have to tell everybody eventually, so might as well cut down on the repetitions while I still can, right? Thanks."

"Are you there, Carrie? Great! Now, this is going to sound really crazy, but you see, I made this stupid bet with Debbie at the beginning of the summer, and ..."

###

Debbie Warren sat in the dark living room, lit only by the glow of the wall-mounted flat-screen television. She stared at the game show on the screen without actually seeing it, her mind a million miles away.

The house around her was cleaner than it had ever been, and she had just finished eating a delicious filet mignon with asparagus tips in a white wine sauce, accompanied by a tasty, yet moderately priced Chablis. It had been prepared for her by her lovely, attentive maid, who stood silently behind her and politely replied to all of her attempts at conversation with as few words as possible

'I should be happy,' she thought, 'but I'm not. I'm not ... anything, really. Numb. Empty. Because I lost. We're still playing the game, but we both know it's over.'

There was noise coming down the stairs from the second floor. Although Debbie pretended to ignore it, she preferred the sounds to the heavy silence that had descended on her house since Frank's marathon telephone session two weeks ago. He had called everyone they knew, as well as all his colleagues at the university, and told them the truth. They were shocked, stunned, disgusted, and ultimately appalled at what Debbie had done.

Apparently, Frank had far more friends than she gave him credit for. And she had fewer allies than she thought she had, before this all began.

Overnight, she'd become a pariah. And perversely, Frank had become a hero, just for standing by his wager no matter how much she abused him, and for standing up to her when she gave him the chance.

She heard the clack of heels on the stairs and turned to find Frank looking down at her. One hand rested on the railing while the other held a leather clutch. He wore a little black dress that emphasized his padded curves, dark stockings, and sling-back pumps with three-inch heels. His hair was artfully arranged, his make-up flawless, and his eyes totally devoid of feeling.

"Where ..." Debbie stopped and cleared her throat. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Frank replied, his voice calm and controlled. "Fred and Jeannie have asked me to have dinner with them tonight. Afterwards, we might go see a movie."

"Can I come?" Debbie asked softly, then cursed herself inside for asking.

Frank shook his head. "You weren't invited. Besides, you've already eaten. Wasn't the meal prepared to your satisfaction?"

She nodded. Frank nodded back and started walking towards the door. Debbie turned.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Frank stopped and turned towards her. She couldn't see his eyes in the semi-darkness, and it frightened her somehow. She spoke quickly. "I brought all of your male clothes back. I've admitted that your off time was never part of the bet in the first place. You can wear your old things again."

Frank said nothing. Debbie raised her voice. "Do you hear me? You don't have to dress that way anymore!"

He shook his head. "Yes, I do. I need to wear these things to remember how things really are between us. If I accept your 'generous' gesture now, I might weaken and remember the way it used to be. I might decide to just let your cruelty slide and take you back once the bet is done. I might even forget how you treated me like dirt, and played games with my mind and with my heart, just for kicks. I might forget how mistaken I was when I fell in love with you, or how you broke my heart. Or just how much it still hurts."

Frank turned and walked to the door. He stopped, one hand on the knob. "If I let myself forget, even for an instant, I might actually come to trust you again. And I can't afford to let that happen. Not ever."

He opened the door and spoke out into the night. "I might be late, so don't wait up. But don't worry. Breakfast will be delivered on time in the morning, just the way you like it."

Debbie felt lost, as if everything she had ever known was falling apart around her. "You don't have to bring me breakfast anymore. None of it ... it's over." She felt the tears start, and her voice shook. "I just want you back, that's all. Please?"

For a moment, Frank just stood there. Then he sighed and shook his head. "That's not how it works, Debbie. I lost. I owe you. I will keep my word and pay my debts, like you always knew I would. You'll have the perfect maid for the next three weeks."

"And ... after that?"

"Well, you lose her, of course." Frank's voice took on the slightest edge. "But that shouldn't bother you much. After all, you've already lost a husband. What's losing a maid compared to that?"

The door closed silently behind him.

Game over.

"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play."
-- Joshua, the WOPR computer, from the movie "Wargames"

© 2007 all rights reserved. Posted with permission of the author.

###

NOTE: This story was inspired by two things -- a forced feminization story currently unfolding on FictionMania called "The Contest," and an aside about the genre by Jezzi Stewart, who wished that, just once, the "hero(ine)/victim" would choose to reveal himself rather than be controlled and manipulated through fear of discovery. I hope you liked where I took it, hon. *hugs* -- Randalynn

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Comments

There's always a but...

kristina l s's picture

Hi Randa. I want to say up front that I far prefer your take on this than the original. That said I have a little trouble. There are a LOT of stories out there that I find disturbing and or disgusting. But I do have a little difficulty in taking someone elses characters and reworking them to a more 'satisfactory' conclusion. Much as the idea appeals at times. By all means be inspired and rework things... but the story and characters belong elsewhere. Just as mine do to me and yours to you. Should someone do this to one of mine, perhaps taking the opposite path I would not be happy. But where would I stand if I had already done so to anothers?
I applaud the sentiment..just not sure of the 'morality' of it. That word may sound a little incongruous, but I hope you see what I mean. I mean no offense and hope none is taken. But as I stated up front, there's always a but. The idea I like...but the fact of it bothers me.
Kristina

Well ...

... it's not exactly "The Contest," Kristina. It's a story about a different couple in a similar situation, but inspired by the story I referenced. So I'm not hijacking Sue's story -- I'm writing a new one with different characters in with a different outcome. Sue's Pat would never do what Debbie's Frank did. There are substantial differences between the characters, their situation, and their reactions.

I really don't think I'm stepping on toes here, or stealing the work of another. However, if enough people agree with you, though, I might take the story down, since my take on all this might be mistaken.

*hugs*

Randalynn

Maybe okay

The story itself is quite good, I really like how things turned around. The biter bit, as the saying goes. I haven't seen the original story on FM, as I normally avoid this type of story.

I'm doing much the same thing with another author's story. However, I have taken the step of clearing my actions with the author, who has already seen a partial draft and okayed my use. And he will see the final version before posting so there won't be any problems of toes being stepped on.

That being said, there are only so many variations of a particular element available for the writing, so it's inevitable there be some overlap, no matter what the author's intentions.

Karen J.

"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Yes it's different...

kristina l s's picture

But...you knew there was one of those didn't you. The bet, the wrestling match, the double date setup... among other things. It wasn't a..'this reminds me a little of..' It was an instant.. 'I like this take better than..' . Frank/Fran is not Pat/Pattie (Thank God) but it is instantly recognisable what story it came from. Perhaps because it is fresh I saw it straight away. Many will take an idea or theme and rework and run with it. I have and probably will again. Hopefully with nothing more than a...'this remninds me a little of...'

The end of this is certainly different. The setup and general idea... well maybe I'm wrong and no one agrees. Sorry if this is hijacking a comment line. I do like this...but...

Kristina

ps the original is on storysite, I had a look after a comment pointed there. Skimmed it and ..well it goes where you might expect. It, 'bothers' me, but so does this for entirely different reasons.

To me, it's like Stark

All of the Stark stories work the same way, using situations distilled from hundreds of other stories so Stark can bring these poor men closure. The Contest was just the last in a long series of stories like it that made me a little angry, and Jezzi's aside made me want to explore what might happen if someone woke up and smelled the coffee before it was too late.

*shrug* It's not The Contest Remix. It's a new story. Read both and see.

What do you think?

Randalynn

Hugs Mom!

... for another excellent masterpiece! A lot of the values you taught me growing up you continue to put in each and every story you write. If anything, the way you are doing this by repeating the lessons in longer examples embedded within your stories, is a much better way to teach others what you have shown me already.

The honor Frank showed Debbie despite her treatment of him and him facing his greatest fears reminded me of how you got me to uncurl myself and come out to be me, become who I am and face the world. It took a long time and I know I was a burden, much like how Frank needed to be able to lean on his friends in his time of need.

Overcoming fear to be one's self is personal and quite a struggle for those of us who had to hide. Once you face that fear like Frank and liberate yourself from it, living your life becomes easier. The taste of being free.

Your caring and teaching others your values humbles me continually. I know our family doesn't all agree on me, but your love and lessons made me truly appreciate you for being my mother first and foremost and the woman whom I'm deeply proud to have raised me.

Please keep teaching us. Learning never ends. Its just the beginning to finding out more.

Love You So Much!!!!!!!!!

Your Daughter

Sephrena Lynn Miller

And the truth...

... shall set you free.

Loved it. Anyone who is in love can be tricked. Honor can be used against a person who has it by someone who doesn't -- at least for a while. Frank made a mistake and paid for it, but he won't make it again and can walk away with his honor, if not his pride, utterly intact. Debbie can't say the same. I absolutely loved the ending; it was just right. Well-written, Randalynn, as always, but I swear that you're getting better. Scary thought. :)

Aardvark

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Nice Twist To An Old Theme

Good job, Randa, turning things around.

The stories where someone is ridiculously trapped, no matter how preposterous things get, are pure submissive fantasy. I find it somewhat annoying when they're presented as straight narrative. Decent submissive fiction can be okay, of course, as long as it admits what it is and shows the joy of the submissive protagonist, with a nod here and a wink there. Unfortunately, all too few TG sub stories seem to bother with that, just wallowing in the cruelty.

This story of cruel dominance with an unwilling sub (or a sub whose boundaries have been crossed, which amounts to the same thing -- he's unwilling to go past a certain point, or unwilling to participate without the love he expected was part of the equation) has much more of a ring of truth and reality to it.

And that's the reason, I'm pretty sure, that you wrote it in the first place!

STOP! Thief!!!

relax, i'm kidding. hmmm? can one plagarize an "idea?" i don't think so. *smiles* in randalynn's attempt to give credit to her inspiration, she is attacked. just another example of "no good deed goes unpunished." ah, i'd credit the originator of that statement if i had any idea who said it first.. lmao...

(ok, i researched it.. no good deed etc.. is attributed to clare booth luce)

i've often extrapolated on ideas i've stumbled across along the way. hell, it's life. ah, i could go on for pages on this topic, but? you're probably falling asleep already. lol...

i think (hope) that i've made my point.

i will say one thing about the story though. i felt bad for debbie when it was over. yes, it's clear she got what she deserved, but, in the end there was a glimmer of hope for her soul.

thanks miranda for sharing. it's a wonderful story and lovingly told.

always,
darla...

(perhaps i should change my name to darla joan? lol)

I haven't read either story...

erin's picture

...but from the comments, I'd say Randalynn is easily within the bounds of inspiration and not derivation.

Plots, situations, even characters, can't be copyrighted and that's a good thing. (Characters can be trademarked and stories that are too obviously derivative on too many counts may violate copyrights, but the distinction between derived and inspired is a legal niceness suitable for arguments by lawyers.)

That's enough about this issue here unless someone wants to take the discussion to a forum.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Ahem. . .Randalynn

Perhaps you should read my "Wrestling with Discontent."

Before I wrote that story I obtained permission from Suejrz, who wrote "The Contest."

Like you, I thought the basic story had promise. Perhaps you will enjoy reading my rewrite as much as I enjoyed reading yours.

Sorry Erin. . .I only extended this thread because I had a dog in the fight.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

OMG!!

You were inspired as well? *grin* Great minds think alike! I'll go look it up straightaway.

Only goes to show I'm not as well-read in the genre as I'd like. I wonder what else I've missed?

*hugs*

Randalynn

I remember Wresting with Discontent

That was the one that came to mind for me went I first scanned a little of Randalynn's -- a nice story.

This theme of a bet -- rigged or not -- resulting in a major change in a couple's relationship has been done before. Nice to see Randa's take on it.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

'Sokay, Jill

erin's picture

Not the same issue I meant. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Game Over huband wins

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

I liked the twist of him just owning up to everything. It reminds me a little of "Sissy's Revenge" by Patty Marie that I posted here with permission of the author. Yours has a little less venom and is more G rated. Really more to my liking. The only improvement I could see would have been to use more conversation to tell the story rather than a straight narrative.

I nearly quit reading both stories because of the entrapment angle, but when the protagonist decided to take the bull by the horns and regain control it turned out to be a most interesting story. Great plot twist.

Hugs
Patricia
([email protected])
http://members.tripod.com/~Patricia_Marie/index.html

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper ubi femininus sub ubi

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

There were reasons ...

... I went with the narrative approach. First, if the exposition went on too long, I would run the risk of driving away the people who thought they knew where the story was heading. Second, too much conversation between Frank and Debbie prior to the story's pivot point might have would up painting Debbie as an uber-bitch, or worse yet, creating the impression that Frank was wimpy. I wanted Frank to be sticking to the bet because of his personal pride, and I wanted Debbie to be more than a 2-dimensional witch queen with a Master's in Sadism.

For these reasons, timing was very important, and I'm glad you liked where everything ended up.

*hugs*

Randalynn

Refreshing

Truly a refreshing approach. Sometimes you have to change the rules to win, other times you just have to know the rules. Frank played by the rules and ultimately won!? Unfortunately, neither of them won and the war games quote was a perfect way to bring that home.

Thanks for the good read.

As always,

Dru

As always,

Dru

Game over, man! Game over!

Breanna Ramsey's picture

You know sometimes you see a movie or read a story that actually moves you to cheer out loud at the end. I'm cheering right now, Randalynn - you get a standing ovation for this one!

Scott
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Lazarus Long - Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'

Bree

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy

http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph

Nice twists

I usually avoid stories labeled with the categories you put this in because they so often leave me feeling infuriated and a bit ill, however well written they might otherwise be. I was actually shocked when I noticed you were the author, Randalynn. But... since you wrote it I knew it would be worth reading so I plunged in and hoped for the best.

And got it.

The twists to which I refer in the subject line are threefold: First, that you would write in this genre; second, that I would actually end up enjoying reading something written in this genre, and feel good afterward; and third, the twist in the story itself turning the genre on its head that explains the other two twists.

I think a good, unexpected twist often improves a story. This time I got three for the price of one. Thanks!

Another protest story

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Dear Randalynn,

I quite understand your loathing for certain story types. I applaud your stories of 'the other side of the story'. The number of comments following your stories shows that many people have strong feelings on the whole concept.

I personally feel that an author has a right and a duty to write the story his or her muse inspires. I feel it is the responsibility of the reader to NOT read stories that reader finds offensive, for whatever reason, DEFINITELY NOT the responsibility of any outside entity to censor the ideas of an author. Your response of writing a 'counter themed story', I believe is completely appropriate. What I have some difficulty with are the comments that seem to deny the other stories' right to be written.

Everyone has a right to their opinion, even me. This has been mine.

Thank you for writing - It was a well written story.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

I agree absolutely

An author must feel free to write as they please, that's a given.

And I'm not saying stories of domination, submission, whatever can't be and aren't interesting, compeling and, well written. It's just this general class of storyline is not always my cup of tea -- I emphasize *MY*. They may well be many others cup of tea. I'm sure I like things many others find dull or objectionable but that is their privalege.

I by no means intend to belittle the effort of those who write these stories. I'm not that keen on Harry Potter either, so who am I to judge?

I have read the two stories I mentioned and they far are beyond my ability to duplicate. I am not near that level of writing and, frankly, I can't write that seriously. They are well written and took conciderable effort. I find the actions/attiudes of the primary females in the stories to be objectionable but not the stories per say. Yes, I know that seems a contradiction. What I mean is these fictional women are well written villianesses and at a gut level that disturbs me. I am not booing the author, I am booing the villian.

It's instinctive, I guess. I don't know. I don't *like* male characters that are cruel to others either -- I can enjoy the story and be entertained but I don't identify with the villian or if I do, I feel bad about it.

In the end, the author must write what they feel complelled to write. I applaud anyone willing to bare their soul to the masses. I also believe it's okay to cheer for the hero and boo the villan.

Some things I like, somethings I don't. My tastes are not the same as anyone elses. If I hurt anyone's feelings, I am sorry. Any anger/comments I may have expressed was/were aimed at the fictional villian/villianess and not the author. That they made me care enough to comment shows the character was believeable enough to push my buttons. Not always the easiest thing to do. That I was compelled to read stories of a plot-type I don't usually feel comfortable reading is a tribute to the particular authors efforts.

The two older stories are solid examples in this style of story, Randalynn's is an entertaining twist on the same format. Sometimes the evil wins, sometmes it must loose. I prefer that the evil looses but it's equally valid to write about when it wins.

My intent was to show why I liked this turning-on-it's-head of convention. I did not intend to tell the various authors to change their stories. If it came off that way, I screwed up.

Best wishes.

John in Wauwatosa

P.S.I hope this clarifies my earlier posting. Sorry if I stried things up, that was not my intent.

P.P.S. Great stories, all three of them.

John in Wauwatosa

Good stuff.

I enjoyed reading this. It was nice to see the 'hero' win in this genre, though it could be perceived as both losing. I finished with a sense of both happening (hero winning and both losing).

The thing is, the wife's motivations weren't clearly shown. They were totally fine and dandy before the bet, or so it seemed to me. So basically they make a bet and she becomes a bitch. Is it supposed to be the whole power corrupts thing, something based on Stanley Milgram's psychology studies (the whole electrocute others thing http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20020301-000037....), or is it something else?

The husband's responses as he's going out at the end are understandable to a degree. It's like physical abuse, except he's leaving her after getting 'hit' a couple times instead of staying in the loop'de'loop. However, it's not shown that she's abusive, just 'temporarily insane'. It doesn't fit that after however long they've been married, she goes psycho hose beast on him one time (one grouped time unit) and he's ready to drop and run.

I guess it's just a matter of not enough back story to establish the characters. Of course this is just my opinion, and I know that I prefer more back story for most things. I also understand the lack of back story as it (the story) is more a comment of how things 'should' work out in a established genre. There's also a balancing act for hooking people into a story; I watch the extended version DVDs, I like more 'taters to glue stuff together while I'm digesting (kinda a gross but true metaphor(at least I think it was metaphor, it's one of those funky words that English professors love ^_~)).

Just my half pence,
CC

I think she basically ...

... became addicted to the power. She enjoyed humiliating him because his own sense of honor made him have to obey her, and seeing how far she could push Frank became a motivation that ended up feeding itself.

If that didn't come out clearly enough, maybe i need to take another look at the story. Part of the problem may be that I can't really fit my brain around the idea that a person could ever hurt someone she loved for kicks. To me, love means that the happiness of the person you love is as important to you as your own happiness, and sometimes more so.

Did Frank overreact in the end? I don't think so. He looked into the eyes of the woman he loved and found a sadistic bitch staring back at him, enjoying his apparent powerlessness. After that level of betrayal, how could he possibly stay?

I guess the reason there weren't more 'taters' to glue stuff together was that I didn't want to wander step by step through Frank's humiliation. Instead, I wanted to focus on what happens when you stand up and take charge of a situation that's supposedly out of your control. Frank pulled his courage together and removed the one thing Debbie had to hold over his head.

"Ye shall know the truth, and the the truth shall set you free."

And sometimes it does.

Thanks for reading -- and commenting!

Randalynn

"I opened a yogurt the other day, and on the bottom of the top was printed the words 'Please try again,' because they were having a contest that I was not aware of. But for a second, I thought I had opened the yogurt the wrong way. Then I wondered if maybe it was an motivational thing. 'Come on, Mitchell, don't give up! You can do it. Please try again!' A message of inspiration from the people at Yoplait -- fruit on the bottom, hope on top!" -- Mitch Hedberg

I am with you all the way!

Monique S's picture

This story validated your witing for me (It is the first of yours I ever read) as well as my gut feeling, fortunately. Normally the content "warning" in the heading would have instantly turned me off, yet somehow I perservered ... and was amply rewarded.
I am not sure, if it is actually Frank walking out in the end or the maid, but that doesn't matter, what matters is, that the truth set him/her free.
If I read storieslike the one, that must have inspire you, I usualy quit after the first cruelty. You mastered that threshold admirably! Your story is a masterpeiece and I enjoyed it hugely.

I may be not quite as feminine as you are, but I also am a warrior, and my reply (through my character) would have been even more harsh than Franks. If I had been one of Franks friends, she would have had a hard time getting back on her feet after I'd have been done with her. I can have an incredibly sharp tongue. As one of my charcters said in one story: "I could practicaly see the swords, her words had turned into, plunging into her chest."

Your story (but I think I said that already) is excellent!
Monique.

Monique S

Well, As Far As I Am Concerned,

Frank finally won when he "outed" himself and told everybody what Debbie had done to him. If you read the Tuck saga, you will see how much the "Debbie," and "Tuck" are like this Frank and Debbie. I wonder if Randalynn ever read Tuck.
Well, RandaLynn, No need to go back and redo the story. Debbie proved to be "POWER MAD" when she gained so much control over Frank. Her wanting to have sex with other men while Frank was her maid shows that she was ever so willing to abandon her vows for a few mean "tricks."
If she got pregnant from the encounter, she would make Frank raise her "BASTARD" child as his. By "OUTING" himself, Frank effectively ended Debbie's reign of terror.
It is possible that with counseling, for Frank and Debbie to once again be the loving couple they once were. Noe THAT would be a story to write.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

As far as'

ALISON
'I'm concerned you wrote the story and I enjoyed it-----
the majority of these stories have the male being
grossly humiliated and living a life of misery,but not
this time.How sweet it is??My ex was a'control freak'
and tried for years to get me into a frock just to control
me but it didn't work(not while she was at home ,anyway!)
But much as I liked your story,I think that Sephrena's
comment was just so beautiful.Much love to you both.
ALISON

ALISON

The ending quote says it all

Frank freely admits he forgot the first rule of gambling - think what would happen if you actually lose. And the zeroth rule as well - never enter a bet if you have no chance of winning.
And Debbie - the first rule of wishing - be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

It is sad. They have both lost what was dear to them because they managed to maneuver themselves into a situation where the traits of their characters most suited to bring pain were turned on each other, without any balancing it over. Someone said that bringing them together again is a tale worth telling. But I can't see it happening. However, perhaps telling their further fates may still be worth it - if they understand the lessons of this situation, and perhaps use them to their advantage. Maybe, just maybe...

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
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Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

you always make me feel good with these stories

I wish i could write one as well as you do. To take the "forced fem" genre and turn it on its head like you do is wonderful. You speak for victims of cruelty (even if they had been fictional victims), and give hope to real-life victims. I can only applaud.

"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"

dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Funny thing is I just read The Contest

It came up in the FM grab bag the other night. I think I enjoyed this take on it just as much if not better. I can see bits and pieces of what will become Loose Change years later in the story too. Which shows how a good writer grows and learns with every story.

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Good story

It's a good story with a sad ending. They both have lost. They've lost their love.

Finally!

Daphne Xu's picture

An abuser gets hers. (In this case, it's "hers".) Thank you!

-- Daphne Xu

Perfect

Rhayna Tera's picture

Perfect writing, plot, pace, paragraphing, diction,

Masterpiece.

Fantastic! Tables turned.

I came across this quite by happenstance. It sucked me in quickly and raised me up! I know it's not all about me, but his is a situation I never learned how to deal with. I never learned the life skills to turn a situation like this around. Seemingly always, I 'took it on the chin,' thinking I had to put up with whatever situation I found myself in.

Well written tale!
Thank you.