Blonde Joke Chapter Two by Jeffrey M. Mahr   What is a blonde's response to the comment, "Think about it."? I don't have to, I'm blonde.

Katrina was back in her lab, but not for long if Tom had his way. She had declined to leave the convention although she had paid the bill for her room out of her own pocket so Brodsky couldn’t accuse her of illegal use of company funds.

Unsurprisingly, Tom Brodsky had followed up his threats at the convention with a written letter of termination. Efforts to reach his father, Franklin Brodsky, owner of GTI and the man who had originally hired her, were unsuccessful, so here it was six o’clock in the evening on a Friday and she was packing her personal effects.

“...call 911 in an emergency? Because they can’t find the number eleven on the telephone buttons. Gentlemen, this will now be your lab. I expect...” Tom Brodsky, with Dick and Harry in tow, stopped short upon seeing Dr. Issekson. “What are you still doing here?”

“Packing my personal effects and hoping to see you one last time Mr. Brodsky.” She took a folded piece of paper from her briefcase. “This is for you.”

“Let me guess, Dr. Issekson, a subpoena. Am I correct?” He tossed the paper onto a nearby lab counter.

“No, Mr. Brodsky. It’s a restraining order. You may not offer ViTaGeSeM for sale to anyone, for any reason, without my written consent. There will be additional filings shortly challenging my termination and seeking damages for ‘pain and suffering.’ My lawyers tell me it should even be possible to sue for damages under Title VII for gender discrimination for creation of a ‘hostile work environment.’ With luck, when my attorneys are through, I may own this company, or at least a majority holding.” Katrina returned to her packing smug in the knowledge that Brodsky would have to relent.

“Dick, Harry? Would you please excuse us?” The two men gave one last frightened glance at Tom and Katrina and hastily disappeared. Turning back to Katrina, Tom continued.

“You’re alone here Doctor?”

“Yes, but I’m taping this meeting Mr. Brodsky.”

“Oh, that’s all right Doctor. I assumed as much.” Tom’s feral grin produced a slight shudder of fear in Katrina. Tom saw it and his grin grew even larger.

“If you are so certain of yourself, would you mind telling me why?” Tom sauntered over to the counter by the sample refrigerator and leaned against it as Katrina slowly backed away keeping a counter between them.

“You mean like the proverbial villain who gives away his secret plan to destroy the world to the hero before attempting to kill him?” Sarcasm dripped from Tom’s voice and, if possible, his grin grew larger. “I don’t think so. You’ll just have to use that incredible mind buried beneath that blonde head of hair to figure it out.”

“No Mr. Brodsky, I understand why you’ve acted as you have as a ‘business man.’” The words came out as a curse. “I don’t approve of your tactics, but I understand your overriding desire for money and power. I know you would want to use ViTaGeSeM in ways I would not approve. With my, as you would probably call it, ‘quaint’ ideas of morality, it was just a matter of time before we had some type of falling out. I only wondered how it would occur.” Tom’s grin, frayed a bit but he immediately regained his composure and his grin as she continued. “Actually, I meant why the blonde jokes?”

“You mean like ‘What happens to a blonde when she gets Alzheimer’s disease?’ Why Dr. Issekson, don’t tell me they bothered you?” Brodsky asked disingenuously. The grin was back full force. “By the way, the answer is, ‘Her IQ goes up.’”

“You mean the only reason was because you thought they would bother me?”

“And thereby keep you off balance, thus making my job easier to implement.” Tom opened the sample refrigerator and reached in. “But now I guess it’s time to end this pleasant little táªte-á -táªte. Dick and Harry may not be first-rate researchers like you, but they are competent, don’t have your high moral standards and do what they are told to do. Normally, I would just call security and have you removed from the building and grounds but, as expected, you’re making this difficult, so.…” Taking a vial from the refrigerator, Tom opened a drawer and withdrew a syringe.

“You...you don’t want to do that Mr. Brodsky.” Katrina took another step backward. “You don’t want to inject me with anything.”

Ignoring her, Tom quickly walked to the double doors and locked them. Turning back, he saw Katrina pushing at the crash bar of the emergency exit.

“Oh, I guess you didn’t get my memo. That emergency exit is temporarily sealed closed for the next week while we remove some asbestos from the ceiling tile and piping in the adjacent hall.”

“This building is too new to have asbestos problems.” Katrina slowly edged towards her desk.

“Oh my. And it so pleased the labor-management committee when we announced it.” Tom carefully inserted the syringe into the sample container and withdrew 5 cc. of a clear liquid. Reaching her desk Katrina frantically searched inside the middle drawer.

“The gun is no longer there.” Tom slowly advanced on Katrina.

“You seem to have thought of everything. Now what are you going to do?” Katrina slumped against her desk, warily eyeing Tom.

“Nothing drastic. This is a mixture of ViTaGeSeM and some DNA. It started out as your DNA but then Dick and Harry modified it according to my specifications.”
“And they are?”

“Oh, nothing much. You’ll still look the same, but you won’t be a genius any more. My guess is your new IQ will be in the low normal range. Also, you’ll be much more interested in the pleasures of the flesh. Finally, I’ve personally added a rather strong hypnotic to the mix. It was developed here at GTI several years ago and I plan to use to reinforce some very specific instructions.”

Katrina kept edging away from him as he slowly approached. “Isn’t that a bit hackneyed? Why don’t you just kill me and be done with it?” She tried to keep him talking on the assumption that when he was talking he was less likely to act.

“Well, yes, but it was easier to have you alive and doing as instructed for the short term rather than transforming someone else into your image and having the risk of them being branded as an imposter. After all, they would not know everything you do and I’m sure you’ve been smart enough to set up a variety of identification procedures so people know you are you.”

Tom stopped his slow chase of the elusive Katrina. “You might as well stop running away from me. If you continue you’ll just make me angry and I’ll just be a bit rougher with the injection and add a few more post-hypnotic suggestions.”

“You mean like to make me your ‘love slave’ or some such pathetic balm to your male ego?”

“Actually, yes.”

“So this was all about sex?” Katrina had made a full circle of the room and was back by her desk.

“You flatter yourself Doctor. This is business and while I suspect I would find it enjoyable, any additional commands like that would be mostly for the purpose of adding to your embarrassment. Now stand still before I get angry.” Katrina was now by the sample refrigerator. Suddenly she reached in and grabbed out a pre-loaded aerosol injector. Holding it in front of her, hands shaking, she aimed it towards Tom.

“You didn’t really think I would fail to notice an extra vial or two in my own sample refrigerator. I found it last night. My computer analysis hasn’t finished yet so thank you for telling me what to expect.”

“What do you mean, ‘what to expect?’” Tom feinted right and went left around a counter. Katrina squeaked and bolted around the counter to avoid him.

“I loaded a sample of what you had concocted into this aerosol injector. If you try to inject me, I’ll inject you.”

“That will only work if the injector is flush against my skin.” Tom swept everything off the counter between them. “You’re getting me annoyed.”

With a roar of anger, Tom lunged over the counter grabbing Katrina’s hand before she could inject him. With a smile of satisfaction, he began squeezing her hand. “Drop the injector.” He squeezed harder and gave the hand a shake. “Drop it now!” When Katrina tried to reach the injector with her other hand, Tom put down the syringe and grabbed the other hand too. A last shake and the injector fell from her hand onto the counter next to the syringe and Tom began pulling her screaming and struggling over the counter towards him.

When she was close enough, he stopped briefly to hold both hands in one hand and grab her hair with his free hand. Then he resumed pulling her slowly toward him as she screamed even louder. Pulling her all the way over the counter, Tom twisted around so his back was to the counter and forced her arms to cross in front of her. Jerking his head back, he narrowly avoided the back of her head as she tried to slam it back into his nose. When that didn’t work, Katrina started kicking him.

With a curse, Tom turned her around and bent her over the counter hands still crossed beneath her and held her feet against the counter with one of his legs. Pushing down on her back with his chest he released one hand to reach for the syringe. Katrina began struggling even harder and managed to free one hand.

Suddenly there was a hissing sound and Tom cursed. Regaining control of her free hand before she could reach back and scratch at his face Tom pushed down harder still and grabbed the syringe. Quickly positioning it over her buttocks, he jabbed it through her clothing and injected her with the substance, then quickly backed away breathing hard.

Katrina scrambled as far away from Tom as she could and glared at him as she rubbed her sore buttock. “Now what, you unmitigated bastard?” The words were ragged, spit out between gasps. She made a conscious effort to calm her racing heart and slow her breathing knowing it would slow the absorption of the injected solution.

“We wait.” Tom rubbed his hand. Looking down he saw a red spot where he had been injected with whatever was in Katrina’s aerosol injector. “Shit!”

“Then the injector did get you. I thought I heard it release.” She smiled. “Then I guess it really is a waiting game now.”

“Not if I use the disinhibitor to stop the action of the ViTaGeSeM.” He walked towards the refrigerator, yanking the door open, but looked up when he heard Katrina’s laughter.

“The disinhibitor only works if it’s used before an injection. We designed it for physicians and nurses who might accidentally get pricked by a used needle. It won’t work after the fact.”

“We’ll see.” He reached in and grabbed another vial. Moving to the drawer with the syringes he grabbed one out and filled it with the disinhibitor then quickly jabbed himself in the arm.”

“It’s even less likely to work as an intra-muscular injection. It’s supposed to be intravenous. You really must read my project reports more thoroughly.” She continued to laugh, stopping only when she felt dizzy and reached out an arm to prop herself against a counter.

“We’ll see.” Tom spoke through gritted teeth. He was torn as to what to do next. If she was telling the truth, he was in trouble. He considered calling Dick or Harry in to advise him of the truth, but if he did then there would be a witness to his perfidy. Finally, he decided to wait. If it was too late for the disinhibitor he would live with it until he could change back, if not, he had still had a few choice post-hypnotic commands to impress on the “good Doctor.” After all, he could always have Dick and Harry recreate his DNA later and re-inject him so he could become himself again. Suddenly he had a horrible thought. Did they make this permanent? Could he become himself again? Fear won out over business and he grabbed the phone.
“I see you’ve dialed an internal extension. Wondering whether the stuff you injected was the permanent version by any chance?” A leg buckled and Katrina fell back against the counter again. It took an obvious effort to stand.

Tom’s laughter was ragged as he began to feel the pain associated with the ViTaGeSeM transformation. “Damn.”

Katrina buckled and slid to the floor. “Are you going to make it Brodsky, or are you going to become comatose before you can give me your post-hypnotic commands?”
Tom buckled at the waist and joined Katrina on the floor. Gasping from the pain, Tom asked, “Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?”

“I don’t know.” Katrina’s eyes were becoming glazed.

“To see what was on the other side.” Tom sniggered once and they both slid into oblivion together.