Warning: Don’t read this if you’re squeamish there’s a lot of nasty things that are going to be said. If the moderators think I’ve went too far in explaining what has happened to me then they are free to remove it. I just wanted to get this out into the open.

It’s been at least 2 years since I’ve been active on here but I never told anyone why. As I lie in my living room cuddled up with my dogs and just trying my hardest not to break only for one memory or another to come out and hurt my concise self. On Christmas Eve 2020, my life was forever altered and if the caution tags did nothing to sway you from reading further well you’re in for a rude awakening. My ex husband and I had been separated for 4 years by that point, a marriage that was made in haste quite honestly but I digress.

That’s not the point of this post. I could quite easily write an entire story about what happened but I’ll keep it short and simple. I was in essence, stripped of any sort of dignity I could have possibly had by a man that I had thought to have loved at one point and had even been a step father to my girls(more on them later). For those wondering what happened to him, he died in prison.

Quite fitting for a man who beat me within an inch of my life while under the influence then proceeded to do what he did. I still haven’t fully recovered from what happened but I am improving.

Now, obviously I couldn’t take care of my daughters at this point being in the hospital so they were staying with my Mother. Well things were going as good as they could for them when another bombshell dropped essentially.

One of my girls(whom are adopted as I wouldn’t have been able to give birth even if I had wanted to) had to be admitted on suicide watch after a long drawn out situation where she wanted to hang herself because she couldn’t face the reality of me being in the situation I was in. She’s doing well now after 1.5 years of therapy.

So where does that leave me? Did I suddenly lose my muse to write after what happened? Or did I find that muse and channel it into something magical? Only time will tell but rest assured that I am going to at least try and write again. I have ideas for new stories if nothing else and I want to see what I can weave together with my ideas. If one of the moderators could message me after reading this I’d appreciate it.
I will explain more about that in a private message.

This was never going to be an easy post to make and quite frankly it’s jarring that I didn’t do this sooner.

Well wishes,
Lilly