Chapter 1
Arrival

As long as I can remember, I have always had a bit of a thing about wildlife and plants, whilst most of the other boys who were my friends throughout the formative years at school were into sports of various kinds or glued to their computers or game stations.

Because I was a weedy kid and always got roughed up a bit in contact sports, and with mild asthma I was never going to excel in athletics, I tended to be a bit of a bookworm spending hours in the library while my classmates were running around getting dirty and sweaty out in the sports field.

After school hours when the others were hanging out together in coffee bars or games arcades I just left them to it and did my own thing. I was always more interested in going on rambles in the local woods or on the moors rising up behind the family farm. I was fascinated by the many species of birds that I came across, and the occasional deer, badgers ,foxes, or other wild animals that I often heard or caught a glimpse of. As I got older, my interests widened from just observing wildlife to include the environmental impact from the way we lived our lives had on wild fauna and flora.

It was a logical step that when I finished schooling that I enrolled for a degree course in Environmental Science (Ecosystem Management) at Newcastle University, about 25 miles from my home on a hill farm near Bardon Mill in the remote south-western fringes of Northumberland.

The course modules were a bit ‘pick-and-mix’ depending on what each of us was interested in or saw as a future career. A lot of the time I found that I was the only boy in a class, green-awareness’and biodiversity definitely seemed to have more appeal to the girls, most of the boys doing the course were more into landscape and estate management.

Throughout my first year at university, I began to regularly socialise with many of the girls that I shared classes with. Eventually I found that I had very few close male friends, and became the only boy in a close circle of friends, Judy, Rachel, Kathy, Nicola, and Zara, I was often out with them in pubs, clubs, cinema and theatre nights and I was comfortable in their company and they were happy for me to be with them. Being out with them, with my shoulder length hair, normally tied in a low ponytail, with being very short and slim for a boy, and wearing slim fit jeans and a long thick woolen jumper, I was often mistaken for another one of the girls, which usually gave them a chance for a good laugh, but with no nastiness intended.

One night before the end of the spring term, we were in the bar having beers as a change from the white wine that the girls normally preferred, when Zara pulled a leaflet out of her bag. “Has anyone seen this? They are looking for volunteers for a four-week conservation course up in the wilds of Kielder Forest. In future years it is a requirement of part of our course to do something like this as work experience for our future careers, but I was thinking that it would be a good idea to jump the gun and have a go this summer. It’s unpaid and involves bit of physical work, but board and lodging and wet-weather clothing is all provided, all we would have to supply ourselves are our clothes and personal items.

“I’m up for it, it’s exactly what I would have chosen if I had seen it first.” I was the first to jump in, “I’ve nothing planned for the summer, my parents are off on a fly-cruise so there is no point going back home. Anyone else interested?”

“ That’s a good start Lyndsay, come on girls let’s have some more.” Zara looked around at the others.

Surprisingly, all the girls agreed as they felt that as well as an educational credit, it would also be a good chance to socialise without the pressures of day-to-day study reining them in. In common with most other student groups, we had another beer to celebrate, it was a much pleasanter way to seal an agreement than a handshake or high-five.

The term was soon over and we started preparations for our working holiday. We had to clear our rooms in the halls of residence as they were to reused for summer school attendees, and even as hostel accommodation. As none of us were going home, all the stuff we did not need was packed away in locked storage until we returned to start our studies again.

We found that it was not as straightforward to get to Kielder and to the camp lodges where we would be staying as we first thought, public transport was virtually none existent and none of us had cars big enough to take us all along with our gear. Luckily Kathy had an ex-boyfriend who used to play in a band and he still had a beaten-up old Ford Transit van, which was littering the road outside his parents’ house, that he was prepared to loan us for all the summer.

We packed our rucksacks with all our necessary belongings into the back of the van, created a bit of a nest for Nicola and me in amongst the luggage in the back, and the others settled into the seats in the cab for the long drive over the wild moorland up to Kielder Forest and the man-made Kielder Water, a huge reservoir created as a catchment for the water supply to the major conurbations downstream near the coast.

Our lodges were in a remote part of the forest park and the tracks up to it were not really suitable for the old van. The conservation rangers had an arrangement with one of the nearby campsites that their volunteers could leave their vehicles in their car park which would otherwise have been expensive for our 4-week stay if we were forced to use the public carpark at the visitor centre. However it meant that we still had a 2 mile trek to get to the site, carrying the heavy backpacks with all our belongings.

We were most of the way to our base and crossing a flimsy plank bridging over an inlet to the main lake when Nicola missed her footing, slipped and fell over into the water. She was struggling, the large heavy rucksack she was carrying was restricting her movements and dragging her down. Without thinking, I was the first to react, jumped in after her, and soon managed to help her get back to the bank. We were both tired soaked and cold, but had no choice but to continue on our way to the base camp.

Zara went into the Rangers’ office to book us in and was soon back with a big grin on her face.

“Come on girls that is our lodge over there, let’s get in, Nicky and Lyndsay can get hot showers and change out of their wet clothes. I can then tell you all what the Rangers have planned for us.

“Damn, all my stuff is sodden, it will have to be washed and dried.” cried out Nicola.

“Don’t worry, between us we can sort something out for you.” Zara offered.

“What about you Lyndsay, how’s your stuff, is it as bad as mine?”

“It’s just as bad I’m afraid, there is nothing that is firt to wear without a trip to the laundry?”

“Go and get your shower Lyndsay, we’ll see what we can find for you.”

I entered the shower, stripped off, left my clothes just outside, and gave myself a long hot clean. After I dried off I suddenly remembered about my clothes, which seemed to have all disappeared, presumably taken off to the laundry I didn’t have a lot of choice so I wrapped a towel around my waist and went back to the bunk room to be stared at by four pairs of eyes.

“Hey Lyndsay, you can’t walk around like that, we’ve left some clothes on your bunk which should fit you. They might not be your normal style, but it’s the best we can do, they’ll have to do until Kathy gets back from the laundry room with clean and dry stuff.”

Embarrassed, I found that they had left me a pair of cotton panties, stretch leggings and a long chunky wool jumper.

“I can’t wear these, I’ll just wait until Kathy gets back.”

“Don’t be silly, they are only clothes, they are not going to bite you. They’ll keep you decent for a while, just put them on, you can’t sit around in a towel.” Rachel glared at me, daring me to refuse.”

Reluctantly I put on the stuff they had given me, the panties were just plain cotton so weren’t too girly, the leggings were not much tighter than the skinny jeans I normally wore, and the jumper, although a bit colourful was just a jumper, so what?

“You need to comb out your hair Lyndsay, otherwise it will dry all tatty, sit down and let me do it for you, it’s years since my sister and I used to comb out each others hair, I’m a bit out of practice but I’ll see what I can do.” Rachel offered. I thought ‘Why not, she is right, it is difficult to get the tats out sometimes.”

Rachel hadn’t quite finished my hair when Kathy returned and it was still hanging loose down to my shoulders with a centre-parting. Kathy had one of the Rangers with her that she had met at the laundry room.

“Hi girls, I’m Mark, I’ll be your team leader for your stay here, thanks for volunteering, I promise not to work you too hard. It makes a change to get a full team of girls, usually we only get one or too, I’m hoping that we can prove to the other teams, that are all boys, that you are as good as them. There aren’t too many rules, you’ll pick them up as you go along. The only one that we are strict on is that you girls stay in this hut and the boys stay in the others at the opposite side of the clearing. Anyone breaking that rule will be instantly sent home, we have a duty of care to you all, particularly to you girls, and take the issue seriously. Settle in and we’ll see you later in the community hut for dinner.

“What was all that about Kathy, he kept referring to all of us as girls, I had better go and arrange to move into the other hut.”

“I’ve looked up our registration details and have just found a mistake in the booking and was going to tell you.” Zara interrupted, “When I booked us in they had seen your name along with ours which are all obviously girls’ names and assumed that you were another one too. Why not just stay here with us, we came as a group of friends and always intended to spend the summer together?”

“ But I’m not a girl, if they find out I will be sent home and I really want to do this course.”

“In that case, you better make sure that nobody finds out, you’ll just have to be a girl for the next four weeks, we won’t tell if you don’t”

“But I don’t look like a girl or sound like a girl, or act like a girl, it’ll never work.”. I tried to argue with them but by sheer weight of numbers they wore me down.

“When Mark was in he just saw you as one of the girls, he obviously didn’t see anything unusual in you.” Judy added.

“If you transferred to the boys’ hut, how long do you think it will take before they find out that Mark saw you looking and dressed like a girl, and then your life would not be worth living.” Rachel put the pressure on me.

“You possibly saved my life earlier Lyndsay, please stay with us. Would you rather be in here with your friends, or in with a strange set of people that you don’t know from Adam. We came as a group let’s stay together.” pleaded Nicola. ”What harm can it do, you know us all really well, and if we’re happy for you to be here, what’s your problem? We’ll all be working together as a group and most of the time we will be in work clothes of jeans and anoraks, they might be girls’ jeans but they aren’t much different. Come on, it could be fun, seeing life from the other point of view.”

“Won’t it restrict you walking around in your nightwear or coming out of the shower with just a towel around you? Are you all ok with me being here, won’t it get embarrassing and awkward?”

“Don’t be silly, why should it be embarrassing, you will be doing exactly the same. For the next few weeks you will just be Lyn, another one of our group.” Kathy replied quickly, adding to the salvo of comments coming at me from all directions.

“As I said before, I don’t know the first thing about living as a girl.”

“You had better start learning then, and fast, if you want to go to get your dinner tonight. How many times when you have been out with us have people mistaken you for one of us girls, and that is without you even trying. I am not being nasty when I say this, but you are about the same size as the rest of us, you are lucky that you have next to no facial hair, you even talk like us sometimes. You will be even more convincing if you let us tidy you up a bit, style your hair instead of just tying it back, a bit of makeup and hey-ho ‘Bob’s your Auntie’. Come on let us see what we can do.” Judy closed the case for the prosecution and I was struggling to come up with any counter arguments.

“OK OK,OK you all win, I’ll go along with it, but you lot have to take it seriously too, I don’t want any name-calling or snide remarks. Do what you have to do with me.”

The girls went into a huddle to sort out who was going to do what to me, and broke up with giggles. They sat me down and while Judy was attacking my hair with a styling brush, Nicola was cleaning up and painting my toenails and Kathy was doing my fingernails.

“You really need to stop biting your fingernails Lyn, I’ve done the best I can, but you really need add-ons, butthey are the last thing that I thought to bring with me to a working camp. I’ll put a brighter coat of polish on for tonight, but if we are working during the days it will get chipped, so normally you should just use a clear protective coat.”

While all this was going on Rachel and Zara disappeared for a while, but came back smiling and gave the girls a thumbs up.

“Ok Lyn, before I brush out your hair, take off your jumper , there is something we need to do.” Judy told me. More giggles all round.

I take it you know what a bra is and what it is for, even though you’ve, hopefully, never worn one yourself, you are now about to learn how to use one. She stood in front of me, put the straps over my arms and fastened it at the back, leaving me looking bewildered.

“Don’t worry, we are not finished yet, if you are going to pass as a girl you need breasts, you’d be pretty weird without them. Obviously that is not something we can sort out quickly, but Rachel and Zara have raided the kitchen store and have come back with two bags of rice, it’s the best we can do at the moment. She fitted the bags in the bra cups, fiddled about a bit until they were happy with the shape. “ There you are Lyn, you now look as well endowed as the rest of us, unless you wear something too revealing nobody will be able to tell.”

They had decided that, partly to make an impression on the boys at the other end of the site, and partly to overemphasise my femininity, that we would all wear skirts rather than the more practical trousers they would be wearing for most of our time here.

“Ok Lyn there is a skirt and top on your bunk go and get changed and I’ll finish off your hair and do your makeup.”

As I got changed into the short flared kilt and v-neck pink top with lace trim I noticed that they were all stripping off and changing without any shyness and made no allowances for the fact that I was in the room with them. Obviously it was something that I would have to get used to. They said that they were going to treat me as one of them, and they meant it, for the next four weeks I would have to adjust to life as Lyn.

As Judy brushed out my hair and did my makeup she gave a running commentary on what she was doing. “You will have to learn to do this yourself Lyn, I can’t do this for you all the time, you should soon get the hang of it. There you are, all done, there’s a full length mirror in the bathroom, go and have a look at yourself and see what you think.”

My eyes almost popped out of my head at the reflection that came back to me, Judy had done an amazing job, and, visually at least, there was no way anyone would take me for anything but a girl. My hair seemed to have doubled in volume and was sitting in waves from the crown down to my shoulders with a long loose fringe at the front, the makeup made me look as if I belonged in here with the girls. The bra inserts looked so realistic, I just hoped nobody would get the chance to give them a feel, as they might look ok, but did not feel anything like the real thing. She had done her best with my looks, it was now up to me to act the part successfully.

I went back out into the bunk room to find they were all waiting for me.

“Ok Lyn are you ready to go, it’s a mild night so you don’t need a coat, but here’s a bag for you, we’ve already put in all the essentials you will need, so slip it over your shoulder and we’ll go to see what the opposition is like.”

To say that when we all walked into the mess room that it caused a stir is an understatement .The lads sitting around, mainly in jeans and t-shirts, couldn’t believe their eyes when we all strutted in, all dressed up and looking like we had just made their dreams come true. There was a rush to introduce themselves, almost tripping over each other in the process. The girls took it all in their stride, in fact they played it all up a notch, they were determined to make an impression. I had been told to just follow their lead and copy their actions, and just smiled at the lads in turn as we made our way to our table.

After our dinner it was more of a get-to-know-you social session. The lads started first. Giving their names, where they were from, what they were studying and why they were volunteering. Zara took on the role of our team leader, telling them that we were all at Newcastle University studying Environmental Science then left us to individually give our own personal answers.

I was dreading my turn but couldn’t really back down, so using a breathy husky voice I often fell into when out with the girls, I introduced myself.

“Hi, I’m Lyndsay, my friends call me Lyn. Like all of you I’ve a committed deep-rooted interest in the future of our planet and the damage we are causing to the environment. I hope that my time here will help me along the path to achieve my dream of making a difference.”

The girls looked at me, surprised that I managed to make my little speech, most of them had just given their names. They all smiled or winked at me, as if to say ‘well done’.

It was soon time to go back to our hut and, leaving Judy behind as she wanted to ask Mark some questions, walking back we felt the cold a bit on our bare legs and were glad to get back inside.

“That went well, but I think that in future we should stick to trousers in the late evenings, and just dress up for special occasions, although I definitely think that we made a big impression tonight.” Zara was the first to speak. “You went down a treat Lyn and seemed quite at ease, for your first night out you did ever so well.”

“I was so nervous when I first went in, but if this is going to work, I have to learn to accept what I am doing and will try my best to relax and blend in with the rest of you. As you say, I agree that we made an impact tonight, but what we are mainly here for is to learn more about the ecological programmes going on, and we need to make an impression with the work we do and show the boys that we are as good as they are, if not better.”

“ Wow girls, it looks like not only have we created a girl, but we now also have a firebrand feminist cheerleading equality.” Nicola gasped, patting me on the shoulder.

“ Right girls, Judy said when she got back, “we have an early start in the morning, breakfast at 8:00, so we better get cleaned up and ready for bed.”

While the others were sorting themselves out, she came over to me and gave me a pot of cream and makeup remover pads. “Make sure you clean off all your makeup and rub in some moisturiser to do its work overnight. I’ve left a set of pyjamas for you which should fit you comfortably. This may sound strange as none of us will be doing the same, but keep on your bra and leave in the falsies, you need to get used to them, and wear your panties too, the sleep set will not hold you in place it is only a light material.”

She was right, although she called them pyjamas, the top was a scooped-neck, half sleeved light nylon and the bottoms were a matching pair of very loose, quite flimsy, shorts. Nevertheless and despite all the events and traumas of the day, I slept really well.

To be continued