Taylor, Too! Chapter 3

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This is the third chapter of the sequel to the novel Taylor, which was published as a Kindle book. All the proceeds from Taylor and Taylor, Too! are for BigCloset. I hope you take the time to read this and tell me what you think. As always, I appreciate constructive criticism. I think it only makes the story better. I am writing this one chapter at a time, so your imput is important in making this a better book.

Chapter Three

After she got off the phone with Meredith, Taylor got ready to call Andrew. They were going to FaceTime. She was looking forward to this call and couldn’t stop thinking about her boyfriend. This was all just so crazy. Everything had been going at lightning speed since her first date.

But, then, her phone rang. It was Julie. Taylor took a deep breath and smiled. Then she opened her phone and lay back down on her bed.

“Hi, Julie. How are you?”

“I’m great, Taylor. I just got off the phone with Meredith and she says you’re going to come to my house and hang with us at the pool. That is so great!”

“Well, that’s kind of you to invite me. I’m really looking forward to catching up.”

“Catching up, right? We have a lot of catching up to do. I’m happy you want to be part of the gang again. And after seeing you at the mall with your new boyfriend, well, so cool. I can’t believe have nice you looked. And I’m not surprised that the modeling company came over and talked to you. You are perfect.”

Taylor laughed out loud. “Perfect? As in having a skinny boy body with no curves? I think that I’m perfectly hideous.”

“Nah. I’m sure you’ll get your girl body eventually. I looked up trans and scrolled through YouTube. There’s lots of pretty beautiful trans women there. And some of them are models and movie stars. And, I’ll be able to say I knew Taylor long before she started her transition.”

“Julie, thank you for understanding.”

“No, seriously, Taylor. This is the twenty-first century and all that good stuff is out there waiting for you. And, I remember you always being so nice wearing your Halloween costumes to school and wanting to play with the girls. You were always so sweet.”

“Thank you. It’s all been kinda crazy here.”

“Yeah. But you gotta tell me everything. What’s with your boyfriend?”

“Andrew? Well, he’s so great. I never had these kinds of feelings for anyone, and now I’m in love with a real live person.”

“I hear you. But, you can’t tell me you never crushed on anyone.”

“Well, sure. I’ve always had a crush on Darla and Abby, Emma’s friends. But that was different. There are so many differences between my love for the girls and Andrew. First, they’re my sister’s best friends, truly standing by each other faithfully forever. Second, they’ve always been so kind to me. Those two never made me feel bad about wanting to dress up and be a girl. They saw my need and always treated me with love and respect. And Third, they spent the whole day helping release Other Taylor as they got me ready for my first date. As the two of them helped, they gave me the confidence to get all dressed up . They both coaxed me to break through and bring out the Other Taylor, who had been sleeping for too many years.”

“Oh, wow! You’re so lucky!”

“Really? You think I’m lucky?”

“Sure. You’ve got a great sister and it sounds like her friends really love you, too. I hope we can be great friends like that. But, tell me how it all happened. I love the details!”

“You’re not laughing at me, are you?”

“Hardly! Maybe I’m jealous of how much love surrounds you.”

“Well, it does seem crazy. And, once the girls helped let Other Taylor loose, that’s when everything magic really started happening.”

“So, your old boy Taylor is the one you’ve been hiding in for the past couple of years, right?”

“Right. We figured out that I’d been abused when I was twelve about being trans and it turned me around. I guess I retreated and tried to be a boy.”

“Uh-huh. We all know that. You went from a happy girly to a very quiet, withdrawn boy. We really missed you. So, you’re Other Taylor now?”

“Yeah, confusing, huh? Old Taylor was trying hard to be a boy and was failing miserably. Other Taylor is really me, a trans girl.”

“Okay. I get it. So, Other Taylor is here to stay?”

“Oh, yeah. No more going back.”

“So, tell me about your big date and meeting your hunky boyfriend.”

“Well, Darla and Abby helped me get all pretty on Saturday. So I got all ready to go out on a movie date with a sixteen-year-old cousin of Darla’s boyfriend. But, this guy was a lug who was all sad and despondent over being forgotten by his parents and so caught up in himself that he was ignoring me. Me, who had worked so hard to be convincing and good enough; well, I got angry. Suddenly, I had been worrying so much about being accepted, well, I guess I kinda lost it and spoke up.”

“Oh, wow! That’s crazy! What happened then?”

“Well,I guess I forgot about myself and started reasoning with this guy and tried to talk some sense helping him lose his bad attitude. The big doofus finally started listening.”

“Wow. Then what happened?”

“Well, I guess he started to wake up and look right at me. I think he thought a real girl was taking her time to help him. And when he realized he had a fifteen-year-old to thank, he got turned around and couldn’t have been nicer.”

“That’s so sweet. How’d that make you feel?”

“Well, I hope you don’t laugh, but, well, I fell head over heels for Andrew, and was shocked when he was feeling the same way about me. And it was all magic because I discovered that I was real, not a just a fantasy.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Well, up until that day, I thought that my girl part, who I’d always thought of as Other Taylor was a make-believe dream. Until that night, I never realized that I was trans. I never even knew what trans was. But, once I really understood who I was, well, I sent the boy side of me packing, hopefully never to return. And since then, I’ve happily come out and shared my self-discovery with everyone I know.”

“Wow, what a story! And I can’t wait to hear more when you come to my house. And stop worrying about us. We are going to be best friends.”

“Thank you, Julie. I’m going to start crying now ‘cause you’ve made me so happy inside.”

“Bye, Taylor. You are a real girl to me.”

“Thank you, Julie. I’m really crying now.”

Taylor disconnected and wiped the happy tears from her eyes. So much love filled her heart. Her sister had become her biggest cheerleader. And her mom and dad proudly stood up for her. Taylor knew that she’d always loved Abby and Darla, but now she loved Andrew even more. He was dreamy. He knew she was trans and loved her more.

She still wanted to talk, so she text him and started a FaceTime connection. As she did, she thought of how things had changed in her house. New Rules!

A lot of new rules had happened since she came out. Her parents were treating her like a regular fifteen-year-old girl. So, one new rule was no boys, including Andrew, Steven, and Tommy, were allowed on her floor where she had her bedroom and game room. Until this weekend, she, Tommy, and Steven always hung out together between her bedroom and her game room. No one had second thoughts about lying on the bed together or crowding on the couch. But now that she was a trans girl, things were totally different.

And now, her game center had to come downstairs. Another new rule was she had to be supervised when she was with a boy. And Taylor had a hard time understanding this. Why would she want to kiss Tommy or Steven? Ugh, Tommy? Steven? C’mon, they were her best friends and also approved of trans Taylor. The idea of kissing either one was too strange to think about. But her parents made an absolute rule about boys since Taylor was now a trans girl.

Taylor would have loved to have Andrew up on her bed. They could have spent hours lying there, just talking and touching. Taylor knew it wouldn’t happen, but Andrew was an excellent boyfriend and so understanding.

Taylor’s latest fantasy was that her fairy godmother would change her into a real girl. She pictured herself lying naked with Andrew by her side. Taylor imagined that she had turned into a genetically perfect teen and now she was all over Andrew. She saw herself climbing on top of his prone body. She had a vision of feeling his strong muscles as she snaked up over him. She couldn’t hold back as she was hugging and kissing her. It was just Saturday night on the golf course, except they were both naked.

And, in her fantasy, Andrew was fantastic about making love to her. Slowly, they had removed all their clothes and touched and nibbled every part of each other’s bodies. Taylor pictured herself having to shush him as he moaned passionately as she kissed him everywhere. And she couldn’t stop giggling. But, as their passion grew, a volcano went off in her head and body. She gasped, moaned, and had this fantastic feeling she’d never had ever before. She was biting Andrew’s fingers as he tried to keep her quiet.

After that, she could see them lying together on top of their sheets. They were holding each other, just enjoying the bliss that their sex together had created. Taylor was swooning just being in Andrew’s arms.

And, of course, in this fantasy, everyone in her family was somewhere in the house. And no one seemed to notice that Taylor had become a genetic female and had the most beautiful sex with her boyfriend. It was like it was all normal day, but obviously, everything was now perfect.

They’d just made passionate love, and when they were done, Andrew had asked her to marry him. Now, they just touched each other all over, happily kissing. They would go downstairs together, and Taylor would announce that Andrew had just proposed to her. She would show off her ring, looking so lovely on her perfect hand with perfect fingernails. Everyone would ooh and ah.

In her dream, Taylor was a real woman. She would become Andrew’s wife, and they would have beautiful children together. Taylor would be a beaming mother as she toted two kids in a carriage to the park and back. And when Andrew got home, she’d have changed into a beautiful dress, fixed her hair and makeup, and their beautiful children were all waiting to hug their daddy.

“Hey.”

Andrew’s voice brought her out of her fantasy. Taylor was brought out of her daydream by the sound of his voice as he connected with FaceTime.

Suddenly, they were talking, and she looked at her future husband on her computer screen. Andrew was the most beautiful man in the world, and he loved her. She wondered what he would say if she told him about her real girl fantasy. He’d probably think she was mental.

Taylor took a deep breath and tried to be cool. “Hey, yourself. Whatcha’ doing?”

“Reading. I got my reading list for next year's AP English class. I have five books to read this summer and ordered them the other day. So they just arrived from Amazon an hour ago. I just started cracking the first one.”

“What’s it called?”

“Catcher In The Rye. I just started it, but it’s cool. It’s all about a kid, kinda rebellious.”

“Uh-huh. I know. I read it.”

“Wait. Seriously? How’s a fifteen-year-old girl already reading high school books? I mean, are you reading them in school already? I thought I went to a prep school that was pretty advanced.”

Taylor laughed. “My mom always buys me a pile of books to read every year. She picks out great books, so I just keep reading. Sometimes we talk about them at dinner.”

“So, we can talk about Catcher In The Rye when I finish it?”

“Of course. We can even read books together. You can bring your book over here, and I can read one of mine. Even my parents would approve of us reading together.”

“Uh, that would be great to hang out with you. Speaking of parents, mine called this morning.”

“Wow, that’s great. Where are they?”

“I think they’re in Rome, but I’m not sure. My mom did all the talking and breezed through their itinerary. I just listened ‘cause I already had a copy of the flight plans my dad made up. After Rome, they are doing a mad tour of all of Italy and Greece. She talked about the museums and the restaurants. And she mentioned my cousin’s parents, too. It sounds like everyone is having a good time.”

“Are you still jealous of not going on a vacation with your parents? Does that still make you sad?”

“Well, I was really upset until I met you. I was all bummed out because they had just struck me here in Delaware with my cousin. And nobody ever thought to ask me like I needed a babysitter. But, now I’d swap spending time hanging out with parents with you anytime. I just wish we could be together more. Oh yeah, and I mentioned you to my mom.”

“Really. What did you say?”

“That I met this girl I’ve got a crush on, and she’s terrific."

“Seriously? Did you give them any details?”

“A few. I described you and told them about our date to the movies and how we had chaperones with your older sister’s friends. Oh, yeah. And I mentioned you were fifteen.”

“That’s all?”

“Sure. They don’t need to know anything else. Too much information, right? They don’t need to know your shoe size.”

“Nine and a half, narrow.”

“I’m writing this down so when I buy you your glass slippers for the ball they will be a perfect fit. Seriously, when they come back through the Wilmington Airport and before they head back to Pittsburgh, they really need to meet you. I know they’ll love you as much as I do.”

Taylor was trying to digest meeting parents who approved of their son being gay. She wondered what they’d say if they knew that she was trans? And could a gay boy love a trans girl forever?

Then Andrew’s voice brought her back to Earth. “So, what’s up? How are things going, and when can I come over to visit?”

“Everything is goin’ okay, but it kinda feels crazy over here. Everything is moving so fast. Mom is about to start this doctor's process for me. Tomorrow, she’s set up an appointment with the lab for blood work. And then I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning with my old pediatrician. That doctor has to okay that I’m healthy enough to start taking medication for my transition. Then, I’m going to a dojo to buy my karate gear for my self-defense course. I’ll be ready to defend myself against trolls, and just in case you try to pin me or something like that. Or maybe, I’m going to learn how to pin you.”

“Taylor, I'm here and ready anytime you want to practice karate or judo on me. Course, if I pin you, I rule. You’ll have to do whatever I want.”

“Andrew, then, I might just lose on purpose. Maybe I want to do whatever you want.”

Taylor heard Andrew’s breathing. It had become deeper and sounded labored. She immediately panicked, thinking that she had upset him. “Uh, did I say the wrong thing?”

Andrew was still breathing loudly. “No. No. It’s just that I still remember what it was like fooling around on the golf course with you that night.” He sighed and let out a breath. “Picturing our date inside my head has been the best part of staying here with my cousin. I can still smell your perfume; it was heaven for me. Now, compare that to hanging around my sweaty cousin. I don’t think the guy showers very much. He stinks of bad breath and sweat. Bradley is still a jerk. But he’s never here, so it’s okay.”

Taylor tried to picture Darla seeing her boyfriend in that state and wondered if she liked him all stinky and sweaty. “Where’s he go?”

Andrew snorted. “Oh, he’s all about his friends, and they’ve got cars, so they’re always going somewhere. And with his parents gone, he’s all about just cruising. He’s gross and coarse in talking about people and even his girlfriend. These guys aren’t real gentlemen. Well, I think I would stay in a hotel if he wasn't my cousin.”

“Sounds kinda gross.”

Taylor wondered if she should share her fantasies with Andrew about them rolling around on top of the covers. She kept that to herself since they’d have to discuss naked bodies.

Andrew laughed. “But, they have plans to take everybody to the beach this weekend. And Bradley said that would include us, too. Would you go with me if they got the van and the driver? Bradley said we could tag along.”

“Uh. Well…. Andrew, do you really want to see me at the beach?”

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want to go with me? I thought you’d get excited.”

“Oh, Andrew, sure. The idea of going anywhere with you sounds great. But I have this problem.”

“What’s wrong?”

Taylor momentarily flashed on having to wear a bathing suit on Thursday to Julie’s pool. She wondered how Tiffany and the others would act around her when she appeared wearing a girl’s bathing suit. After all, they’d known Taylor for a long time. But, while Taylor dressed up all-girl occasionally in elementary school and sometimes wore her Halloween costumes when they were in Middle School, she’d never appeared full-time as female. Nor did she ever appear wearing next to nothing.

And now that she was living an all-female life, she would have to face what all the time really meant. It was a wonderful feeling to finally be free of all the weight holding her down, but she was nervous about everything, too. She felt like she was floating all the time. But, Taylor wondered if being female with boy parts, especially in a very revealing bathing suit that would get wet, would work out. All she could imagine was a disaster.

Suddenly, Taylor was dreaming a fantasy. Everyone was under the same magic spell of thinking of Taylor as real until they saw what was between her legs. Then, she envisioned the magic spell cracking and the sky would turn black. Everyone would suddenly see her in the actual light of day as the make-believe world crashed around her. Instead of a cute fifteen-year-old girl, the curtains would be pulled back on her skinny, naked boy body.

Taylor pictured the sounds of laughter and all her friends making faces. No one would be laughing with her but at her. Suddenly, she would be scorned, and her world would collapse. Just picturing all of this happening made Taylor quiver and shake.

She blinked her eyes to get the nightmare out of her head. “Uh, sure. You know I’d go anywhere with you, Andrew. And that would be great. It’s just that being all undressed in a bathing suit, well, I can’t see it working.

“And speaking of the beach, one of the things I have on my list is to go shopping for a swimsuit. I’ve never owned a girl’s bathing suit, which will be a big thing. Remember the girls you met at the mall?”

“Sure, I remember. They like you.”

“No, Andrew. They liked you. Meredith couldn’t stop talking about you.”

“Uh-huh. Well, if they’re your friends, that’s good, right?”

“Yeah. But back to this bathing suit thing. I’m having a tough time about that.”

“Why?”

“Well, you’ve always seen me when I have clothes on. But I have this sad, skinny body that doesn’t measure up. And now, I have to confront that head-on. I need to face who I am and deal with it.

Andrew hesitated. “Uh. I don’t want to sound crude or anything, but can we talk about this some other time? Thinking about you in a bathing suit is starting to get me excited, and well, that’s hard for me to concentrate.”

Taylor winced. “Sure. I hear you. But I don’t think my skinny body will turn anybody on.” She took a deep breath and finally blurted it out. “And then I have the issue of having to tuck myself, so my boy parts stay hidden.”

“Uh, Taylor, you’re overthinking this. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure that out. You will find many suggestions for hiding your boy parts on YouTube. They have just about everything on there.”

“How’d you know that?”

“Well, I told you that my friend is trans. She’s shared that kind of stuff with me. I know she uses surgical tape, and her biggest complaint was to make sure she shaves closely so it doesn’t hurt when the tape comes off.”

Taylor took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. Tears had been forming in her eyes. Between her nightmare and her anxiety, she was ready to cry. She tried to talk, but it came out as a sob. “Andrew, you’re amazing. And here I was, worried about talking with you about all that. Listening to you makes me feel so much better. Maybe it’s not a big deal, and I should watch YouTube. Thanks.”

“Well, Taylor, let’s face it. It’s important to you, and that’s all that counts. I want to be your number-one helper. After all, for a good relationship, we’ve gotta be honest with each other. Let’s make a rule, Taylor. No secrets. I want to know everything you’re thinking about and be the most important person in your life. I know you’re trans, and it’s a big deal for you. And I know every new thing is scary because you’re just coming out. But, you gotta remember that I came out as gay when I was fourteen. The best thing was that I was tall and strong. Anyone who thought about teasing me, well, they had to look me in the face. And it’s tough to say mean things to someone like me. Those trolls had trouble looking up at a big guy who was not smiling. I guess I scared some people into keeping their mouths shut. But I’ve heard it all. And I want to protect you and keep you safe. I don’t want you to think that some of those bad things trolls say are real. I’m here to stand by you.”

Taylor was crying. She was staring at Andrew, and he was saying the most loving and beautiful words she’d ever heard. “oh, thank you. I am falling more in love with you every day.”

“Good bye, Taylor. Just remember you’re the most important person in my life, too.”

Later on, Taylor got back on the computer and went on YouTube. She Googled how to tuck and watched at least four videos from different trans women on what they do. She was most impressed with one product that she could buy online. But, until she could order that product, she went and found her mom.

“Hey, mom. I have a question.”

“Sure, honey. What do you need?”

“Do you have any surgical tape here at home?”

“Sure. I have several rolls in our first aid kit. Do you want some?”

“Uh, yeah.” Taylor was feeling very embarrassed and knew she was bright red. Her face felt hot.

“Science experiment?”

“Uh, yeah. Except I’m the experiment. If I’m going to a pool party, and Andrew’s cousin might be taking everybody to the beach this weekend, well, I’m really self-conscious about my boy parts.”

Taylor saw her mom blush, too.

“Well, sure. And as a doctor, maybe I can help you. As long as you remember that your genitals are going to someday become your female parts if you decide to have sexual reassignment surgery. So, you don’t want to hurt anything down there.”

“What’s that mean, mom?”

“Mutilation. I don’t want you harming yourself by trying to castrate yourself in frustration. I get it, and I’m just here to help.”

Taylor felt tears roll down her face as he tightly squeezed her mom’s neck. “Oh, God. I was so frightened to say anything, but I was talking to Andrew, and he knows a trans girl who uses tape. Andrew recommended that I go to YouTube.

“Did you learn anything?”

“Yeah. There’s this company where I can buy a kit, and until then, I can use medical tape. And that will pretty much cover me up, so nothing shows.”

“You must remember that if you tape your penis and your testicles tightly up to your body, you’ll need to pee once in a while.”

“Yeah. And I need to make sure I don’t have any hairs that would get caught on the tape.”

“Oh, you’ll find the hairs all right. If you miss any, they will let you know. Now, do you want to practice? I can put on my gloves and play doctor.”

“Mom, you are a doctor.”

“Yeah, that, too. Let me get our first aid kit, and you go get a razor and check for hairs. You will have to lose your sense of modesty anyway. With all your doctors, everyone will look between your legs as you go through your life.”

“Ugh. I hate this.”

“Yeah, but it’s just something that a trans woman has to learn to live with whether you decide to stay pre-op for the rest of your life.”

“Why would I want that?”

“I think you must take that question to your trans women on YouTube.”

Taylor nodded. “Right.”

An hour later, Taylor was all taped up and ready to go. She had found a nice outfit that her mom had helped her pick out, and they were headed out to go shopping.

“How are you doing?”

“You mean with the tuck?”

“Yep. With the tuck.”

“Well, it’s a little uncomfortable, but there’s no pain. Everything is kinda numb. I am glad that I went to the bathroom before we started.”

“Just remember that you have tape and scissors in your bag. If you need help reapplying the tape, I can come into the bathroom and help you.”

“Thank you, mom. For everything.”

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I still remember

Julia Miller's picture

The first time I had a dream and I was a girl in it. After that point, I had no doubts that I was transgender. Then of course I started having these spicy dreams. lol

Dreams

Dear Julia,

First, thank you for writing. I hope you are enjoying the story and find something that connects with you.

Dreams… half my life is spent dreaming. Sometimes I’m asleep, but the best ones are when I’m awake and just close my eyes.

A lot of my ideas are hatched dreaming in the shower.

When I was 11 years old,

My first clue what's my dreams, I dreamed of all my guy parts including my arms and legs being replaced with girl parts. I was pretty naive back then, I did not really understand where all the differences between boys and girls were. Later my dreams went towards the erotic side where I was the woman in the dream being made love to. The sad part was I was so afraid of being gay I was basically a homophobe. I did not want to be gay or something, it turns out that I was something.

eariest memories

I had a reoccuring fantasy where I was small, four or five, and I fell into a mailbox. I was sitting in the big container and there was a little girl about my same age. I became her and went home and lived my new life.