“ Sit down Jayne, we need to have a chat about a couple of things.” Mum said to me a few days after the award ceremony.

“ Firstly, I am thinking about retiring from running the Deli. You have built up quite an empire with Konditorei Pâtisserie, Would you be happy to take on the shop as well, but keep it as it is, separate from your pâtisserie shops, keep on the staff and the product ranges, I would be sorry to see it go and the girls lose their jobs?”

‘That’s not a problem, I will take it on in my name as the personal owner, rather than include it in the Konditorei Group, that way there will be no pressure to conform to the Konditorei working style.”

“ Good, that’s one less worry for me.”

“Of course, you deserve a break after all these years, you’ve worked hard to keep the family after Dad left you, but it will be a big change for you. Have you any plans on what you will do with your time?”

“ Well for a start, since Chloe and Sarah moved away, I never really get the chance to visit them and spend some time with them and their husbands. I feel that I have been neglecting them a bit.”

“ That sounds good, I could even join you to let them get to know the new me a lot more. Now that Konditerei has grown so much, all my time is spent on corporate administration, I am not needed to do any of the baking or day-to-day running of the company, I have a lot of very competent staff to do all that, so I should be able to be away for a few days at a time without causing too much trouble, Kelly can manage things while I am away. We might even be able to fit in a holiday somewhere together.”

“That leads me to the next thing. Hugo is thinking the same, and is intending to leave the running and management of Burg von Gebäck to Stephanie as Head Chef, and Helen as General Manager. We intend to go travelling together, starting with visiting Vienna for him to show me where he grew up, then the rest of Austria and Germany, maybe going over to Italy too, depending on how it works out. With no ties and responsibilities, we’ll just take life as it comes”

“Depending on how it works out? Could there possibly be more to it than a holiday, is romance in the air?”

“ It’s been a long time for both of us to be on our own, but we are not in the first flush of youthful romance, and are taking it slowly, however you never know here life will lead you, you should know that better than most people.”

“I’m delighted for you, I have always liked Hugo, and he has fully accepted me as Jayne, I would quite fancy him as my stepfather. Get yourself sorted out, leave all the worries about the deli to me, go off and enjoy yourselves.”

“By the way, have you seen the local paper? There is a big feature on you winning your award, with the story of how Konditorei all started when you won that TV competition and there are some lovely photos of us all.”

“They interviewed me a few days ago, but did not send me a preview of their article, I’ll have to have a good look at it to make sure that they kept to what I told them and haven’t dug too deeply into my past.”

There definitely seemed to be romance in the air at the time, Kelly took me out for lunch as she said there was something important that she had to tell me. We made a lot of small talk while we were enjoying our meal and settled down with brandies before she opened up to me with a huge smile.

“Richard proposed to me and I have of course accepted. We will be getting married in 3 months time, I am so happy and so looking forward to it.”

“I’m delighted for you, I have been expecting it. I am ever so pleased for you and wish you every happiness.” I hugged her closely to hide the look of disappointment on my face, it was the final nail in the coffin of any chance that I had of a lifetime relationship with her. We would always remain close friends, but things would never be the same again.

“ Of course, Jayne, I want you to be my Maid of Honour. I know that it is a bit of an unusual situation for you, but as far as the world is concerned you are an attractive pleasant successful young woman, and I will be proud to have you with me supporting me on the big day.”

I was overcome with emotion and tears started to run down my face, partly tears of joy at Kelly’s happiness, but partly as it really sunk in that there was now no future for us together.

“ Thank you so much Kelly, I really appreciate you asking, are you sure that you want me there with you though, what if anyone finds out who I really am and makes a big fuss about it, I don’t want to cause you any embarrassment and spoil your big day?”

“Don’t be silly, Jayne is who you really are, Jay has gone, the sooner you accept that the happier you will be. I will be proud to have you follow me down the aisle.”

The next few months were hectic as I helped Kelly prepare for her wedding, going with her to choose her dress and accessories, organising the venue and catering, and generally helping her as much as she needed.

Kelly was right, through all the preparations I was totally accepted as Jayne by her family, the other bridesmaids and by Richard’s best man Kevin, who would be partnering me during the ceremony and reception. When I was growing up. Chloe and Sarah had often played at and talked about weddings and had later got really excited at the marriages of family and friends, but all that had totally passed me by as Jay. But this time, being in the female circle, it was totally different, I got just as worked up about the whole business, the dresses, flowers, the hen party, as any of the other women. My only regret and disappointment was that in a way I had expected Kelly to be my partner in life as well as in business, but it was not to be.

Previous weddings I had been to as Jay had been no problem for me, no preparations, just get into a pressed suit, polish my shoes and brush my hair and teeth and I was set to go. As Jayne there was a lot more to do to get prepared to present myself at my best on the big day. Kelly had me on a strict diet and insisted that I always wore a body-shaping corset to lose a few inches from my waist and a few pounds, just as she was doing so that she could fit into the ‘one-size- smaller-than-normal wedding dress, and the thing that worried me the most, full laser removal of the very light beard that still tried to break through. Face masks and special moisturisers became routine to get the skin into perfect condition, I had to let my nails grow out a lot longer than normal, in general how I looked and presented myself became a high priority for me.

The weekend before the wedding, I joined her and her friends for the hen party, all of us dressed to the nines in tight short dresses and killer heels, glam makeup, wearing sashes with “ Kelly’s girls’ night out” , starting off respectably in a restaurant but then going on a pub crawl all flirting outrageously with lads and men in the bars. The girls all had a great uninhibited time, but I was a little more reserved. It was my job to make sure that Kelly did not get into any trouble or go too far in her celebrations, but I also needed to keep control of my own emotions, I was afraid to let myself go in case it sent the wrong message to one of the lads. I had never been out on a pre-wedding stag night with the lads as Jay, but I imagined that it would have been a big beer-swilling session, nothing like the exuberant fun out-for-a-good-time session with Kelly and her friends.

The wedding itself was amazing. Kelly had arranged for myself and her other bridesmaids to visit the local beauty parlour for the full treatment, professional makeover, nails, and matching up-do with ringlets hair styles, while she had her own private session in her hotel room.

Back at the hotel wedding venue, I stepped into my bridesmaid’s dress, a peach full-length, tight-waisted and bodiced style, added the new necklace and earring set that Kelly had given me as her gift and went to her room to help her into her dress and add the finishing touches. She looked absolutely gorgeous, a fairy-tale princess and whilst I was delighted for her, I was still full of regret that I had lost her.

I pulled myself together and was proud to walk behind her down the aisle, accept her wedding bouquet, and to be escorted out from the church by Kevin, the best man, after the ceremony. I wondered whether I would ever go through the same thing myself as Jayne, or even as Jay.

Kevin was very attentive during the reception and when Kelly and Richard took to the floor for their ‘ first dance’, after letting them be in the limelight for a while we joined them. At the end of the dance he hugged me close and gave me a passionate kiss. which took me by surprise. I may have been dressed and appearing as a pretty young woman all in her finery, but I was not looking for any kind of relationship with a man. I was worried that he might try to take things further, so kept my distance for the rest of the day until we left as friends after it was all over, with just a quick hug and goodbye kiss.

After the wedding, I threw myself into the business. We had a bit of a pause in expanding into more outlets after Kelly got back from her honeymoon, while Kelly and I took stock of where we were at and what we wanted to achieve. However we were soon back at full speed again and within a year had doubled the number of outlets, most of them franchises and most of them tea shops as well as patisseries. Everything, other than my personal life was running smoothly and successfully.

“Hello, is that Jayne Newman?”

“Who’s calling and what can I do for you?”

“I’m Carol Watson, I’m the producer of “Sunday in the Kitchen” the show you won the competition on to go on the catering course. Your local TV station passed us the details of your story and how successful you have been since then. We would like you to come on the show as our guest chef, chat with Graham, the host, and make up a few tasty treats for us. Are you interested?”

“I’m flattered, of course I would be glad to do it, it will be good publicity for Konditorei.”

“We record live on Sunday morning, would you like us to book you a hotel to save too early a travel start for you? Of course Graham would like to have dinner with you on Saturday night to get to know you, so you can chat on the show like old friends.”

The show went really well, Graham flirted outrageously with me and was delighted with the demonstration and presentation I gave. I soon became a regular on the show, appearing every two or three months, becoming really casual and natural in front of the cameras. I always managed to give credit to Hugo and what he had taught me and how he had encouraged me to start up Konditorei, and it really helped to bring people into the shops, particularly if it was publicised that I would be making an appearance.

This led to appearances on other TV cookery shows, competitions and morning chat shows and I was becoming a bit of a celebrity myself and there was soon talk of offering me my own show. In my personal life I was becoming a bit happier and settled again, to a large extent I had overcome my disappointment that Kelly had got married to someone else. Although she was now married, Kelly remained a very good friend and we often got together out of work-time for meals and nights out.

After a hectic day, discussing our growth plans with the bank, which we did not really complete as Kelly seemed a bit distracted, I was relaxing with a glass of wine when there was a frantic banging on the front door. I opened it to find Kelly in hysterics, blood rolling down her face from cuts on her cheekbones and eyes, bruising already forming, and tears rolling down streaking the blood.

“ What on earth has happened to you, have you had an accident?”

“ It’s no accident, Richard has got a violent streak and he attacked me. I don’t know what to do, i just had to get away from him, I hope you don’t mind me coming to you with my troubles.”

“ Don’t be daft, pf course I don’t mind. I never saw that in him, I know that you have been a bit withdrawn and not your normal bubbly self lately, but i didn’t realise that is why you were a bit dispirited. I find it hard to believe what Richard has done to you, what on earth happened?”

“Nobody truly knows what goes on in a marriage, he was all sweetness and light until we got home after the honeymoon. Then he became very controlling, questioning and criticising everything I was doing, wanting to know where I was going and who with, and has been particularly nasty when I have been going out with you. You know me too well, I’m not a shrinking violet, and wasn’t prepared to take it from him and let him undermine what spirit and confidence I still have left. The last couple of times we’ve argued he has grabbed me, badly bruising my arms, and has punched me and pushed me to the floor shouting and swearing. He is turning into a violent thug.”

“ Why have you not told me before, I could have helped you before it got this bad?”

“ It’s not something you tell anybody, you just have to bite your lip and make the best of what you have. Tonight he just went too far, it started as a silly argument about how much time I was spending at work, and how I was not looking after him and the house properly, and it just grew from there. He really lost it and ended up punching me in the face a few times and throwing me against the kitchen cupboards really hurting my back. I was worried that he was going to go even further, so I hit him over the head with a rolling pin, he fell to the floor, and I rushed over here.”

“Oh, I am so sorry for you, I thought that you were the perfect couple.” I gave her a comforting hug, “Let’s get you cleaned up and have a look to make sure that there is nothing serious. It looks ok to me, you will have a few bruises and will be a bit sore for a while, but I don’t think that there is any serious damage. Do you want to go to the hospital for a check-up to make sure?”

“No, even after what he has done, I can’t do that unless something serious happens to me, they would have to involve the police and the whole thing will just snowball from there.”

Before we did anything I took a few photos to record the state she was in, cleaned off all the blood, applied ice packs to her face and back, and calmed her down. we were sitting chatting about how things had gone downhill since her wedding, and I was taken aback with some of the stories she told me when my phone buzzed.

“ Hi Jayne, is Kelly with you?” Richard calmly asked.

“No, I’ve not seen her since work today. Why do you ask?” I replied, thinking quickly and holding back my anger at him, thinking that it would be best if Kelly was given a bit of time to herself.”

“It’s just that she has not returned home this evening and I’m a bit concerned.”

“OK, sorry I can’t help, I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

“Thanks anyway, bye.” there was not a trace of anger or anything unusual in his voice, he sounded just his normal pleasant self.

“Did you get the gist of that Kelly. Richard was trying to find you and is concerned that you had not gone home.”

“He is a liar, he is very good at covering up all the arguments we have had. After one of our violent rows we were having dinner out with some friends and he was laughing and joking, not a care in the world as if nothing had happened.”

“Just stay here tonight, sleep on it, and see how you feel in the morning.”

The next morning she rang him, from the office, with me listening on an extension, recording the call.

“Richard It’s me, have you calmed down?”

“Look, things got a bit out of hand last night, come home and we’ll talk about it.”

“A bit out of hand ! You could have broken my back throwing me against the bench like that, and it’s not the first time.”

“If you want another argument, I’lm quite happy to continue on from last night. It was all your fault anyway, throwing back at me about how that pervert partner of yours aways treated you so well, you and that bitch deserve each other.”

“You leave Jayne out of this, this is between you and me.”

That cross-dressing pervert is the cause of all this, you are as bad as she, he, it, or whatever, is.”

“Richard, that is it, I want a divorce, i am not coming back to you, I have had enough, I cannot live any longer with the violent nasty person you have become.”

“Really, how do you think it will go down if I tell everybody the truth about that freak, is that what you want?”

I couldn’t take any more of that, “ Do what you want, I don’t care.” I butted in. “If it means that Kelly doesn’t have to suffer you any more it will be worth it. How do you think it will go down with your friends and associates if I tell them all about how you have treated her, and how she prefers being with a pervert like me rather than a violent monster like you. I may look like a weak woman, but I am twice the man that you are and am more than capable of dealing with anything that comes out about me, I’m not ashamed of who I am.”

“ Rot in hell, the pair of you, I don’t care, I want nothing more to do with either of you” at which point he slammed the phone down.

“ Did you really mean that, you don’t care if the truth about you comes out, you will really be prepared to do that for me?” Kelly asked me with imploring eyes.

“Of course, I have loved you almost from the day we met, but I soon realised that if I chose to live as a woman that sooner or later you would look for someone else. If he causes trouble and tells the world about me, so what? We have made enough money from Konditorei to live comfortably and can go somewhere where nobody knows or cares. As long as we are together I can take anything.”

“ Can I move back in with you, and I don’t mean just until all this blows over. I have had enough of manly men for the present, and I don’t care how you dress and present yourself, you will always be my best friend and more Jayne.”

Within 6 months Kelly’s divorce came through, no mention was made of the violence towards her nor any mention of me, it was all by mutual agreement of marriage breakdown. Kelly and I resumed our personal relationship, and although, because of the hormones I was taking, I now had a much more womanly appearance, I did not go through the final transition, it suited both of us for me to have the last vestiges of my male life remain.

On one of my frequent appearances on the early morning TV chat shows, just before we went on air, the director pulled me aside.

“It’s all over the social media this morning that you are not a natural woman and are in fact transgender. Obviously it’s up to you, but sooner or later one of the scandal sheets is going to have a go at you and what they cannot find out or prove they will make up. You will have seen how well the viewing public responded to one of our presenters coming out as gay a few months ago, because he was open about it the media did not get a chance to really dig up any skeletons. Are you prepared to discuss it this morning or do you want to hope that it will all go away?”

“You are right, it will be less damaging if I am up front about it. Get the presenters to just introduce it and lead onto it gently, I’ll talk about it for a while, but then go back to what I came here to do, talk about pâtisserie and Konditorei. First though can I go back to the dressing room and change from these trousers and top that were suitable for the bakery demonstration, into a feminine dress, I want to emphasise the fact that I’’m as much a woman as any other. I’m sure your wardrobe department can find me something suitable.”

“Good morning everyone, “ the presenter smoothly and comfortably introduced me, “in a few minutes pâtissière and business woman Jayne Newman will demonstrate more of her delicious recipes and chat about her growing business empire Konditerei Pâtisserie, but first she has agreed to talk to us about the breaking news today hat she is transgender and was brought up as a boy.”

“Yes, the rumours are true, until a few years ago i was happy living as Jay, but by accident I started appearing as Jayne and living and working as a woman and became a vey successful one too. As it happened, I don’t think that it would have made a lot of difference to the business if I had stayed as Jay, although I don’t think that my TV career would have grown as much. TV likes a young, attractive if I am allowed to say that about myself, successful woman, particularly for daytime shows which are primarily aimed at stay-at-home women.”

“You have done well to manage to stay under the radar for so long, has it been difficult avoiding anyone discovering your background.”

“ I have never been particularly withdrawn or secretive, I have been on TV shows and at business launches since the start. I am not a flag-waver for transgender rights, I have just been getting on with my life like any other woman, although I have been pushing for the glass ceiling, holding back women from senior business roles, to be broken. There is no reason why women, including transgender women, cannot perform at least as well as men, as has been proven by many other women as well as myself. People are people and have talents and abilities no matter what gender they are or choose to be.”

“ Thank you for being so open and honest Jayne, I’m sure that we will talk about this again, we’ll now switch to the more important reason for you being here today, what are you planning to cook for us this morning?”

It turned out that it was not Richard who had broken the story, as we first thought, but someone that I was at University with, who had fallen on hard times and saw selling the story as a way to get him out of his problem. As it turned out, if anything my exposure actually strengthened the business, most of our major suppliers and corporate customers were more than happy to still deal with me, giving them another box to tick in their equality policy statements.

We were soon being chased to sell out by the big national food companies, and eventually accepted an offer which as well as making us extremely wealthy, also guaranteed that all our outlets and staff would be kept on, and that the quality of the pâtisserie would be kept up. I was still to be the figurehead of the Konditorei chain and continued with occasional TV appearances.

Mum’s original shop, ‘Newman’s Delicatessen’, was not part of the deal. Jennie had been running the business since Mum went off on her travels with Hugo, and I thought that she deserved to be rewarded for all the hard work she had put in. I transferred the business, lock stock and barrel, over to her as a gift to continue to run as she saw fit.

Hugo and Mum decided to stay in Austria and he transferred ownership of Burg von Gebäck over to Kelly and I as he wanted us to make sure that his high standards did not start to slip. Although all the day to day management and operation was carried out by Stephanie and Helen as junior partners, when we could we kept our hands in, preparing the pâtisserie in the kitchen, more as a pleasant enjoyable hobby rather than a job. We happily settled into an apartment at the Burg, it was where it had all started for us and was a delightful place to live.

Mum and Hugo eventually decided to get married, and retired to a delightful lodge next to the Donau-Auen National Park on the banks of the Danube near Vienna. It was only a small wedding gathering in the grounds of their estate, myself, my sisters and their families, and a few close relations of Hugo. They had both been through the ceremonies with extended families and friends at their first weddings and wanted this to be more personal and intimate.

We loved the area where they were living and the history and culinary delights of nearby Vienna and we visited them often and enjoyed the relaxed lifestyle that we were now able to enjoy with them without all the worries and problems of running the business day-to-day.

A year later, Kelly made me the proudest person on earth when she gave birth to our daughter Charlotte Kathleen and our lives were complete. Mum, Hugo, and my sisters with their families all gathered together for the christening in the church next to the Burg and at the end of the day, after everyone else had left, Kelly and I were sitting having a glass of wine with Mum.

“Jayne, do you remember when you told me about winning the competition that you said ‘I think the change will do me good’?” Mum asked with a big satisfied smile. “Little did we realise how much of a change it would be for you and how much good it would do for us all. Entering that competition was one of the best things you have ever done., you definitely won the jackpot”

The end.