[This is an oldie from way back. I first drafted it in 2011 and posted it on my blog in November 2018]

[In Scotland, a ‘Stair’ is analogous to an apartment block in the US. One stairwell connects all the Flats/Apartments. Many 'Stairs' in places like Edinburgh do not have lifts yet, are sometimes five floors high and the steps are often pretty steep.]

Iain Smith looked out of the window at the dark strip of the Firth of Forth at the lights of Kirkcaldy to the north. The white horses on the water had grown considerably in the past hour. The windows to his apartment had begun to rattle in the increasing wind. It looked like the forecast gale was going to materialise.

He looked down and he could see a No 16 bus heading from Granton along the seafront towards Newhaven, Leith and the City Centre.

John looked down at his feet and the pair of black court shoes he was wearing. He was planning to catch the next No16 bus into the City but was dithering about heading downstairs.

He was concerned that his coat would not be up to the job of keeping the weather out and off the crushed silk two-piece he was wearing. John is a closet Transsexual. Very few people knew this and of his inner desires to be a woman. Certainly, none of the people at the head office of a well-known Insurance Company knew about it or so he hoped. They were notoriously conservative in their views. Most of this stemmed from the tradition of the company and the fact that the founders were deeply religious.

Most of the time, he only dressed when he was in the safety of his flat. He'd inherited it from his Grandmother a couple of years earlier. That had caused a big argument in his family. Granny Doris had lived there for more than 50 years. She knew about his little habit as she called it. Doris had been a showgirl in the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s. During her time in the ‘business’ as she called it, she’d met many Homosexuals and Transvestites. She’d known that John was one from a very early age. She’d provided a safe haven for him to be himself with more than a little encouragement from her.

He watched another bus head towards the Granton terminus. It would stop there for five minutes before making the return trip. With a bit of luck, he could time his exit from the flat to coincide with the arrival of the bus at the stop on the other side of the road.

At the right time, he picked up his handbag and left the flat.

He’d just locked the door when he heard the door to No 7 next door open.

His heart stopped dead as out of the doorway, stepped his neighbour, Jannine.

She saw him in a flash.

“Who…. Iain? Is that you?”

There was nothing for him but to own up.

“Yes.”

She starred at him.

“Well, this is a turn up for the books.”

She stood there with her hands on her hips and her feet planted well apart. All she needed was a headscarf and a rolling pin and she could have been an angry wife waiting for her husband to come home blind drunk.

Iain didn't say anything. He was just too embarrassed.

After a long second, Janine said,
“I was just off down the Old Chain Pier for a drink. Frankie has stood me up again, the bastard. I'd even got Ailsa from over on Dudley Crescent to come and babysit. I don’t have the heart to send her home.”

Iain liked Janine. She was a single mother living on benefits but had a heart of gold but who always seemed to attract the wrong sort of men.

“Where were you going all dolled up like that?”

Still, in a state of shock, he mumbled,

“Pricilla’s on Leith Walk.”

“Oh, I know the place. Where all the Gays….”

“Sorry,” she added as she recognised her foopah.

“That’s ok. It is a gay bar.”

“Are you meeting someone there?”

“Not especially. Why?”

“Mind if I tag along? It can't be worse than the Old Chain Pier, canna it?"

“Why? Why would you want?"

“Are we going to go, or do you want to miss the bus?"

He smiled and nodded. He was resigned to the evening being a complete wright off.

They headed down the stairs and made it to the bus stop just as the No 16 bus they’d been hoping to catch pulled away into the darkness. Edinburgh City Transport bus drivers are famous for not waiting for passengers who were running for their bus, so it wasn’t the first time for either of them and nor would it be the last…

“What’ll we do now?” suggested Janine.

“Old Chain Pier?”

“I dinna fancy it anymore,” came her reply.

“Where too then?”

She smiled at him,

“The Peacock. You can buy me a fish supper.”

Before he could object, she was already walking towards Newhaven and their destination.

*
He'd been out 'dressed' quite a few times in the past, but they were always to one of the numerous 'gay and lesbIain’ events in the city. This would be a big step for him and one that he’d not have chosen for an outing like this.

They found a table in the Pub and placed their orders.

While they waited, Janine whispered,

“I’ve just realised that I don’t know what to call you. I canna call you Iain, now can I?”

He didn’t answer.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t going to work is it?”

He nodded his head.

He opened the small leather purse he’d been carrying and removed a £20.00 note and put it on the table.

“That should cover the bill. If you want to have the meal, please stay.”

He didn't wait for an answer. Iain left her sitting there alone.

*

It took Janine three angst-ridden days to pluck up enough courage to knock on Iain’s door and speak to him.

She’d lost count of the number of times she’d gone to her front door only to chicken out and feel even more guilty for failing once more.

This time she made it to his door and to her immense relief, she knocked on it. The sound of her knocking echoed through the cavernous stairwell.

Iain opened the door.
“Oh, it's you, Janine."

She gave him a small smile.

“Can we talk?”

“If it is about the other evening, then no. There is nothing more to say. I'm putting this place up for sale, so I'll be out of your hair before you know it."

Then he moved to close the door in her face.

Janine was one step ahead of him. Her foot got in the way of the door.

“Please? I don't want to talk about it."

“Well, I do so let me in or I’ll come back every night until you do.”

He sighed and let her into his refuge from the real world.

“This is very cosy,” remarked Janine as she sat down in the sitting room.

“Not a lot different from your place is it?”

Iain sat down opposite her but didn’t say anything.

After a good minute of silence, he asked,

“You wanted to talk? So?”

Janine swallowed hard and said,

“This is not easy for me. I was always the quiet one at school. I've only had one boyfriend, and he got me up the duff after a couple of dates…."

She looked down at her feet and the pink fluffy slippers that she was wearing.

“I’m so sorry for dragging you out like that. I just wanted to get out of my place for a few hours I didn’t think about what I was doing. Raising a bairn all alone is not easy and I tend to get a bit cranky if I don’t get out every day and with the weather we’ve been having, I went over the top. I’m so sorry.”

Iain seemingly ignored her apology.

“Where is your son?”

“He’s next door sleeping. Don’t worry, I’ve got the baby monitor in my pocket. If he wakes up I’ll hear it.”

“So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

She swallowed hard before speaking,

"I am so sorry for forcing you out like that last week. It was dumb of me. Sometimes, I dinna know where my head is at times.”

She paused for a second.

"But I wanted to say that you looked pretty good and that I'd like to try again sometime if you were agreeable, of course. I'd be proud to go with you to the bar in Pilrig if that is what you want naturally.”

Iain looked at her and saw that not only had been coming here been hard for her but that she meant what she was saying.

He smiled back at her before saying,

“It's Heather by the way.”

Janine smiled back.

“If Heather would like to pop round any evening after about 7:30, the bairn will be asleep by then, I'd be grateful for some female company.”

“Heather would be honoured to do just that Janine, thank you very much.”

-------------------

Over the next few months, Janine saw a lot more of Heather, and together they started going out about town. Heather started to feel good about herself. They even went out in the daytime together, plus the baby naturally.

One fine day they were walking back from the city centre along the Water of Leith footpath when Heather froze solid.

"What's the matter, Heather?"

Heather turned around so that she was looking back the way they came.

“That is my boss walking towards us. He is with his wife who works in HR. She loves babies.”

“Oh dear,” replied Janine.

“We are dead.”

Janine took Heather’s hand in hers and replied,

“Then we will die together.”

Then they carried on walking along the path and past the well that featured in one of the 'Rebus' tales. They were no more than 20ft past this landmark when they came face to face with Ian's boss and his wife.

As Heather had predicted, his Bosses wife, Mary stopped and looked at the baby. It was common knowledge that they had tried unsuccessfully to have children and the betting was on Malcolm, his boss to be the one firing blanks.

“Oh, what a bonny bairn,” exclaimed Mary.

Janine might be short of money, but whatever little she did have was spent on her son. This meant that the baby was always well dressed and cared for. Today was no exception. The little boy was wearing a mini 'Tam O'Shanter'.

“What's he called?” asked Mary.

“John, but we all call him Jack," she replied proudly.

“I bet his father is very proud of him?”

Janine took her chance and replied,

“If he ever gets out of Barlini he might.”

Then Janine started to walk away. Heather followed her closely.

When they were out of hearing range of the couple, Janine said,

“I think that went pretty well, don't you?"

Then she saw Heather's face. It was white as a sheet.

“What's wrong?” asked Janine.

"My boss was staring at me all the time. I'm sure he recognised me. If he has, then I'm out of a job."

“And you will sue them for a pretty penny for wrongful dismissal.”

“I couldn't do that. Besides, I'd have to start living as a woman.”

Janine put her arm on Heathers and looked her square in the eyes, and said,

“Isn't that what you are dreaming of and what you have been dreaming of for years and years?”

Heather sat down on a nearby bench and burst into tears.

Janine went and sat next to her and comforted her. She was going nowhere unless Heather was at her side.

A little later, and when Heather had recovered they went back to the relative safety of their ‘stair’.

Janine sat with Heather until she was able to start to think clearly.

“You are right. I have to face up to things.”

Janine gripped her hand tightly.
“Are you sure about this?”

Heather nodded her head.
"I'll be here for you. You know that, don't you?"

“Are you sure? You have your bairn to consider?”

“Two are better than one when it comes to being a parent.”

“What are you saying?” asked a slightly confused Heather.

Janine sighed.

“You are a good person Heather and I… no, we would very much like it if you would be part of our lives.”

“Eh? Shouldn’t I be doing this?”

Janine asked.
"Well, if it is going to be two women living together, does it matter who asks who?"

Heather didn’t say anything. Instead, she kissed Janine for the first time.

Two relative outcasts of society had come together and were going to try to face the world together as best they could.

[The End]