See things through a woman’s eyes

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This story revisits many of the characters and locations found in the first story in this series. The story can be read stand-alone, but it may be more enjoyable if you first visit or revisit ‘A Walk to a New Life’, which is listed on my stories page. Whatever you choose, I hope that you enjoy it.

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See things through a woman’s eyes

I opened the parcel recently returned from my publishers and with great disappointment read the letter it contained.

Dear Mr. Sinclair, we are sorry to advise you that we do not think that this novel ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ will appeal to the reader base at which it is aimed, Whilst the basic storyline of a summer romance at the resort of Maladroxia on the historic Sardinian island of Sant’Antioco is appealing, and the descriptions of the settings are very evocative of the island, we consider that a lot of the personalisation is weak, particularly for the main female characters.

Because of past successes in your normal genre of crime thrillers, we will not reject this completely and will be happy to review this again if you can develop more inner mental strength to their personalities.

We enclose the returned manuscript, but look forward to receiving an amended version and if it is up to your normal standard, we will be delighted to publish it for you.

Yours sincerely.

Charles Haughton,
Abernethy & Carter

“Who on earth do these people think they are? I am arguably the most successful author on their books. I have written over 20 novels and they are stocked in all the major bookshops and are on the shelves of virtually every public library Telling me that my characterisation is weak is insulting.” I almost screamed at my sister Kirsty.

‘Calm down Rory, it is no good shouting at me. you have been very successful up to now, but this book is a bit different for you. All your books up to now have been crime thrillers, this is your first go at romantic fiction, you could not have expected to get it perfect first time.”

“ But it is a beautiful setting, it has a gorgeous heroine, a ruggedly handsome hero, an on-off-on-off-on-again will-they-wont-they, relationship between the two. The writing is up to my normal quality, I don’t understand what more they could want and what they don’t like.”

“I know that you do not normally like me to see your unedited manuscripts, but let me read it and give you my opinion. After all, it is a romance, and it is aimed at a female readership market. Treat me as a female test-driver for it, it sounds like the sort of book I would normally go for.”

“ That seems like a good idea, but treat the manuscript carefully, at the moment I am inclined to go touting it around other publishers rather than do major changes. This has really got me wound up, I am going for a walk up in the hills for a couple of hours to clear my head, and when I get back we can go into Taynuilt for something to eat. I’m really glad we left the city to move out here once my writing started to bring in decent money, it is just so relaxing and good for the soul and some time alone wandering in the hills always calms me down.”

Kirsty and I are twins, obviously not identical but we share a lot of genes and are more or less the same size and colouring. We had been brought up in Dean Village just off the city centre of Edinburgh and in our formative years enjoyed the bustle of vibrant city life together, and later with our partners.

Mainly caused by my self-absorption when writing, my wife, Karen, had justifiably got fed up with the lack of attention and she and I had separated and I had just thrown myself into my work and my personal social life was non-existent. About the same time Kirsty’s husband had run off with his secretary and this left her disillusioned with men, so when the royalties started coming in from my early novels, we decided to have a new start. We had always been close as children and in our youth. Although we both had lots of friends, we were always happy and content in each other’s company. Our parents had moved to New Zealand a few years previously and neither of us had been blessed with children, so we had no close family ties to keep us in ‘Auld Reekie” and were easily able just to sell up and move without having to worry about anyone else. We left the hustle and bustle of the city behind for an extensive rather grand country house on the banks of the Firth of Lorn near Oban in the Western Highlands.

There, we had no immediate neighbours, we had the mountains behind us and the front garden swept down to the sea loch with views out to the hills of the Western Isles beyond. It provided the ideal setting for the peace and quiet I needed when writing, and with Kirsty acting as my business manager, accountant and housekeeper we were both content with our unencumbered and uncomplicated life.

I drove out to the train station at Falls of Cruachan, left my car there and took the well defined path through the woods up to the dam holding back the reservoir serving the Cruachan hydro-power station, walked around the reservoir up to the top of Stob Dàimh with its wonderful views back over as far as the hills behind Loch Lomond, and after sitting there brooding for a while, made my wayback down again. When I got back home I was relaxed and in a much calmer frame of mind, the mountain air and a bracing walk always eased away my cares and worries.

“You know what Rory, this is quite good and is very readable, I am already into the third chapter and am really enjoying it.” Kirsty greeted me as I walked in. “I should have it finished tomorrow or the day after, let me read it through to the end before we talk about it. Let’s get ready and go down for a drink and something to eat in Taynuilt, I think you are ready to face the world again now that you have calmed down.”

Down at the Inn it was not a busy night, it was late season and there were not many tourists about, so we ended up chatting to a couple of what counts as neighbours in these parts, Susan and Jamie MacDougall. Susan was also a writer, mainly travel guides and clan history books, and she and her wife Jamie lived at Inverawe about 3 miles from us. Jamie was a web designer and we used her to keep my IT system, social media, and website up to date.

“Rory has just finished another novel, a bit different this time, a romance set in Sardinia, it is a big change from his normal crime thrillers. His publishers were not too impressed and have asked for a rewrite, but I’ve started reading it and am getting engrossed in it.” Kirsty told them despite knowing that I liked to keep my books under wraps until they were published.”

“ Susan, as a fellow writer have you got the time to read it and give us a professional opinion.”

“ It is not really my area of expertise, but if Rory doesn’t mind I would be happy to do that for you.”

“ That’s brilliant we’ll email a copy of the draft over to you when we get home.”

Three days later we all got together again at our house to review ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ sitting on the terrace overlooking the garden and the Firth, making the most of the evening Spring sun, taking in the calming smell of the sea and watching the gulls and cormorants soaring overhead. Despite the unusually mild weather, the amusing views of the sea otters basking just off the shoreline and the wine we had shared, I was on edge and uneasy awaiting their thoughts on the book and was not really enjoying myself.

“ Ok girls, what do you think? I want you to be honest, because my publisher was not too impressed, but I don’t know whether it was just his man’s take on a romantic novel aimed at women?”

As she felt that she could be more open with me than our friends and neighbours, Kirsty jumped in first.

“I loved the main themes of the book, the storyline and the details of their meeting on the beautiful mediterranean island, but I agree with the publishers that the heroine of the story, Katherine, all submissive and swooning and pining for her man, is like something out of Mills & Boon or Barbara Cartland, and is out of touch with the way modern young women think.”

“ I thought the same,” added Susan, “ nowadays women are much more independent and self-reliant, and although they still fall head-over-heels in love, and can be silly about it, it is much more on their terms, thinking about how it affects their careers and the way they live.”

Jamie decided to soften it a bit by changing direction.

“ It is no secret around here that i am transgendered, and coming here, being nursed back to health by Susan, and developing into the woman I now am, gives me a bit of a view from both sides of the gender divide. As a man, I thought a lot like you and would view the strengths and weaknesses of Katherine in very much the same way you have. However, living and experiencing
the world of women my whole approach is now much different.”

“ What do you mean by that?” I interrupted her.

“If you read some of Susan’s clan histories, you will see that, when the men were more interested in settling old feuds and fighting their battles, their strong-willed determined womenfolk were scheming behind the scenes to keep their families and clan safe and secure. You can read a lot of historical tracts about all the successes of the menfolk, but the supportive and often very significant assistance of their women was never fully recorded. I have found that women have always been the glue holding families together, often pushy and feisty, keeping their men on the straight-and-narrow.”

“Are you saying that men have only been successful because they have been pushed along by their womenfolk.”

“Just think about how successful Susan has been with her writing, and how much you depend on Kirsty to manage your business affairs. women have never changed, but now the way they are seen and portrayed in literature and film has moved on from Victorian times and reflects a new positive reality. Barbara Cartland’s heroines are few and far between these days, Katherine needs to reflect that, and to appeal to your women readers, you really need to change her character.”

“ Wow, Jamie, that was quite a critique, I need to think about what you have just said.”

“ As your business manager, I couldn’t agree more. you have been successful with your crime novels, because as an ex-policeman, and as a man, you had the experiences to build familiar attitudes and personalities into your characters. You knew how they would think and act and you were able to transfer your life history into your heroes. However you are now writing to appeal to women and if you want to succeed, you have to learn to think more like a woman, see things through their eyes.” Kirsty really started pushing me.

“ She’s right,” Jamie added, “When I first came here I was very much the man, with all the male attitudes, but gradually living, socialising, and working with women, and finally deciding that’s how I wanted to live my life, I have seen a totally different side to the female character, but unfortunately it is one that as a man you can never experience and incorporate into your writing.”

“ Are you saying, Jamie, that only women can write for women, and that men always characterise women as weak, I can’t agree. There have been many great examples of male authors writing very successful novels and plays featuring strong female main characters, Shakespeare was able to be very successful at that, with Portia in The Merchant of Venice, Katherina in The Taming of the Shrew and even Lady Macbeth.”

“ You are right, but there was a change in Victorian times for authors to portray women as weak and submissive to reflect attitudes in society at the time, but attitudes have moved on, women have moved on, and the way you have Katherine and the other women in your book think and act needs to move on too, if you want to make a success of your new style of books. As a fellow author, albeit in a totally different sphere of literature, i can tell you that you have to reflect the attitudes and lifestyle of your readers” Susan finished of for them, “you need to think about how you can achieve that.

“ Wow, girls, I did ask you to be honest, but that was a bit hard hitting. I have taken in what you have said, and obviously need to think about it all.”

We enjoyed the rest of the evening with general social chat, watching the glorious sunset over the hills and islands to the West, with me deep in thought, before it was time for Susan and Jamie to return home.

Over breakfast the next morning with Kirsty I raised the subject of yesterday’s conversations.

“ I have been tossing and turning all night thinking about what the three of you said. I have lots of ideas for storylines, but if I can’t get my characters right, it is never going to work. I will have to go back to writing the crime novels, even though I feel I was getting a bit stale at that and running out of fresh ideas. Obviously you can correct or adapt a lot of my ideas, but it is not the same as if it is all coming directly from my thoughts and approach. Somehow I need to tune my mind in to yours, Susan’s and Jamie’s. Let’s see if we can all get together a bit more often, not to discuss anything in the books but just so that I can find out what you are interested in and what your attitudes are, listen to what you are saying and how you express yourselves about life in general. What do you think?”

“ I think it will do you good, you have never been particularly at ease in the company of women, and if you don’t mind me saying so, there was always a gulf in understanding between you and Karen, and I can understand why she felt that you had to separate. Let’s start with the basics, if you are writing for women and need to get into their mindset, you have to learn to think of yourself as a women. I obviously don’t mean going through transition like Jamie, but you need to be reminded that you should be thinking like a woman. You need a woman’s name, both to help with the writing, but also for when the books are published. Believe me, when I am browsing in bookshops or libraries I automatically tend to pick out books by female authors. Have you got any preferences?”

“ It has never really crossed my mind, but I always felt that Mum’s name, Samantha, was a very feminine name and ‘Samantha Sinclair’ has a ring to it.”

“ Ok Samantha it is, and from now on that, or Sammie, is what I shall call you when we are not in company. You need to sit and watch some RomCom and weepy films with me, listen to what the female characters say and how they react to events, and listen to more daytime TV, which is mainly aimed at women. to hear the kind of things that interest them and form their attitudes. You don’t necessarily have to like what you are watching , or even agree with the things they say and do, but you have to at least understand where they are coming from.”

“So far, so good, I can go along with all that.”

“Next, to give you constant reminders of who you are writing for and the attitudes that your characters should have, I suggest that you wear a skirt when writing. It is a totally feminine garment and every time you stand up or sit down and have to adjust it, it will tell you who you are supposed to be. I have a few skirts which should be suitable for you, they have adjustable waistbands so should fit you comfortably. I think that should do for a start and get you thinking in a bit more of a feminine frame of mind. Come on Sammie, let's go and have a look at what you can have and we can sit down and watch one of my DVDs to start your brain-washing.”

In the morning I was wearing a black pencil skirt and open-toed, sling-back sandals that Kirsty had found for me, nothing over-the-top, just enough to channel my thoughts. I re-read ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ and began to understand what they had all meant. The heroine, Katherine, was quite timid and shy, and not the sort who would go off to a remote island by herself for the summer.

I went off for a walk in our large garden all the way down to the sea and a small beach on the Firth and sat on a bench to gather my thoughts and work out how I could easily change Katherine’s character without altering the basic storyline.“

“Hi Sammie, you do realise that you have been down to the beach wearing a skirt, don’t you, it is just as well that we are quite remote and private here?” Kirsty smiled at me on my return.

“Oh, I didn’t realise, I was so deep in my thoughts about the book. Still it was nice and pleasant walking down there in a skirt, the breeze cooling my legs and the lack of trousers rubbing against me, I actually felt very comfortable and did not even think about what I was wearing.”

“ Have you had any more thoughts about the changes you are going to make to Katherine.”

“ I think I have a few new ideas, after lunch I will sit down for a few hours and go through the book again.”

We were clearing up after a quick lunch and I was about to go off to my study, when Kirsty stopped me.

“I’ve just had another idea, I was just refreshing my lipstick after the meal and I thought that wearing some might help you to to get into the mood, after all it is a very feminine thing to do and the taste of it on your lips won’t let you forget who you are supposed to be, Sammie. I have some that I never use, because the colours don’t really go with my outfits, you can have them if you want. When you are searching for changes to make and running out of ideas, touching up your lips might just trigger some thoughts.”

I found it a lot easier to relate to Katherine and the way she would react to events in her life and was soon deeply immersed into her character and changed the approach she was having to all the events around her. She became a much more positive and outgoing person, leading events rather than following them, and over the next few days I totally rewrote the book.

Kirsty told me that she would invite Susan and Jamie round to see the new version and get their thoughts about whether it was more appealing to the modern young woman. They caught me by surprise by arriving only a quarter of an hour later and found me extremely embarrassed wearing my skirt and lipstick.

“ You are really trying hard to get into the mind of your female characters aren’t you? let’s have a look at your manuscript and see if it works.” Susan giggled as she sat down.

I left them in peace to read through the copies of my manuscript and wandered down to the beach, it was becoming my haven of tranquility where I could get my mind sorted.

“ You have done really well Sammie. Kirsty has told us all about how you have changed your mindset since she changed your name and got you into a skirt, but it has worked. The book is many times better and more believable and it is a lot easier to relate to what Katherine is going through. Try it with your publishers again and see what they think.” Susan was the first to comment when I returned and found them in the kitchen with coffee and cake.

As I sat down to join them I brushed the skirt under my legs, and they all looked at me and smiled at each other.

For the next two weeks while the manuscript was being reviewed, I started on the next novel, ‘Santorini Sunsets’, where Katherine had moved on from her fling in Sardinia and was to spend the next few months in beautiful picturesque Thira on the gorgeous Greek island of Santorini. It is a really romantic setting and pictures of the small white houses with their pale blue roofs built into the terraced cliffs overlooking the flooded volcanic caldera adorn many travel brochures and guides for the Greek islands.

‘Santorini Sunsets’ was as much an adventure story and travel guide as well as following a whirlwind romance for Katherine, which would unfortunately end up in heartbreak. However her stronger character carried her through all the trials and tribulations and she left Santorini with fond memories and a promise to herself to return someday

As her ruse for me to see things through the eyes of a woman was being successful I continued to wear skirts and Kirsty bought a few tops and cardigans for me to complete what had now become my work uniform. She made a reasonable attempt at styling my hair into something that was vaguely feminine and added mascara and eyeliner to my makeup range, and I was now becoming almost passable as a woman. We continued to socialise with Susan and Kirsty , either at our house or their cottage, and I became much more at ease in their company, and even started meeting them dressed as a woman.

More and more they began to just treat me as a woman and listening to their conversations and chat I found that I could relate to their attitudes and feelings and was able to carry some of that into my writing.

It was with a great deal of nervousness that I opened the letter Kirsty brought in to me from Abernethy & Carter.

Dear Mr Sinclair,

We have re-read your novel ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ and, subject to proof-reading and minor editing, will be pleased to arrange publication. Your characters are now much more believable and relevant to the market, and we believe that you will have another success on your hands.

We note that you have signed as the author as Samantha Sinclair. We believe this to be a positive move and will greatly assist in sales, for two reasons. Firstly it separates the readership from your past history with detective novels, and secondly, even in this day and age, female readers still tend to go for female writers and male readers for male writers.

We will be in touch when the book is to be launched and look forward to your next book in the same vein.

Yours sincerely.

Charles Haughton,
Abernethy & Carter

I was delighted and rushed over to hug Kirsty.

“ That is good news it really opens you up to a new market, hopefully you can keep us in this lifestyle for a few more years now. Let’s go out and celebrate. Why don’t we invite Susan and Jamie, they helped to make the new book a success and for Sammie to come out of her shell to be able to change things for the better. As this is a celebration of Samantha’s success, why don’t we go out together with you appearing as Sammie. I know that may sound a bit over-the-top, but you are wearing skirts and some makeup most of the time now, and are acting quite comfortably in the role.”

“I think that is a bit much, I know that it helps with my writing, but I am not like Jamie, I have no thoughts about dressing all the time, let alone becoming a woman, all these adornments are just tools to help me with my writing.”

“ Don’t be such a wet blanket, It will be fun, and obviously they will not object. We can get you cleaned up and made up and I can find something suitable for you to wear. This should be Samantha’s celebration not Rory’s.”

For the next few hours, Kirsty treated me as her Barbie doll, styling my hair, making sure that I was totally smooth and hairless on my body arms and legs, trimming my eyebrows, and shaping and painting my nails.

“One final thing, before you get dressed. Before Jamie started on hormones and developed her natural breasts, she used adhesive breast forms to give herself a realistic figure. When I phoned her to tell her how you were going out tonight, she brought them over for you. Do you want me to fix them on for you or is that going too far.”

“ In for a penny, in for a pound, I couldn’t feel any more unusual than I already do, as long as they can come off again.”

When the girls arrived I wearing an electric blue shift dress with a scooped neckline that showed off my new figure with a hint of cleavage, Kirsty had done an amazing job with the makeup and hair, and we looked almost like real sisters when stood side by side.

“ Wow, Sammie, you look fantastic, nobody will ever take you for anything but an attractive woman, let’s get out and introduce Samantha to the world.” gushed Jamie, giving me a woman-to-woman quick welcome hug.

To minimise any embarrassment for me, we went into the nearby large town of Oban rather than into our local hotel that we normally used. When we arrived at the restaurant Kirsty had booked, I was extremely nervous walking in, and after dropping off our coats and being taken to our table, I looked for a place where I could be inconspicuous, but the girls made sure that I could not hide myself away.

It was a delightful, characterful restaurant with olde-world charm and an easy friendly atmosphere and I was soon able to relax and enjoy the meal and the company. The girls made no allowances for me, the chat was what you would expect from a group of women and they made sure that I was kept drawn into the conversations. After all, we were out together for two reasons, mainly to celebrate my new book, but also to let me become more relaxed and natural with women to give me a better understanding of how my book characters would act and react. By the end of the evening and our journey home I was not thinking of myself as a man out with a group of women, but just as Sammie out with a few friends.

When we got home, we went straight up to get cleaned off for our beds, but I found that Kirsty had laid out a silk nightie for me.

“ I thought that just to complete the night for you in your new role, that you should leave on the breasts, wear a nightie and just enjoy your short time in womanhood. Just give it a try Sammie.”

i was up bright and early the following morning as it was to be a writing working day. When Kirsty dragged herself out of bed and came down to breakfast she found me in what had now become my writing clothes of skirt and jumper, but for the first time first time with my new breast forms still in place. i had put on mascara and eye shadow as well as the now usual lipstick, and with my nails still painted and my hair brushed into the style she had set for me the previous evening, i was ready to spend the day as Sammie working on my book.

“ Good morning Sammie, you are looking good today, I hope it all inspires you in your writing.’

“ i’m getting on really well, I have just finished ‘Santorini Sunsets’ and will do a final edit over the next few days. I think that wearing the skirt and things has helped me to develop a more relaxed style and I am working much more quickly. But when this one is complete I will have a short break from Sammie so that Rory can come back for a few days while I catch up with the maintenance for the house and garden.”

The manuscript was soon completed, and after a proof-read by Kirsty was sent off to Abernethy & Carter. It did not take them long to send an email back to confirm that they were getting it ready for printing and publication, saying that in their opinion the story flowed really well, Katherine’s personality was much more in keeping with their readers tastes and that they expected it to be even more successful than ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’.

I could hardly contain my delight when i found Kirsty out in the garden and gave her the letter to read.

“ That’s wonderful Rory, it’s so good that all our tricks to get you thinking like a woman have really worked, and hopefully there will be a lot more books to come.”

“ You’re right, i have already got the general theme of my next book buzzing away in my head and can’t wait to get stuck into it.”

“ That reminds me, do you remember that Jamie and her friend and neighbour Maggie Campbell started up a class to introduce some of the village women to using computers? Well, that turned out to be very successful and they all soon became quite confident and capable at it and didn’t need the training sessions anymore, but they had got used to their weekly meetings for lessons, and decided to still get together for tea and a chat, but turn it into a book club. You know the type of thing, select a book for them all to read and meet a week later to talk about it.

Well, Jamie had told Maggie about the delightful book she has just read, and that the author lived locally and Maggie has asked me that, if they chose ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ as their next book, she would like you to join their review meeting and talk about how you wrote it and where you got the ideas for Katherine and her adventures and stuff like that. What do you think?”

“Tell her that I would love to do it, and I have a box of the books upstairs given to me by the publishers to use in promotions, so they won’t even have to buy or download it, they can even have it personally signed by the author.”

Maggie went off to make the call while I made us both a coffee and took out some homemade shortbread fingers that Susan and Jamie had given us.

“ I’ve just had a call with Maggie, and she is delighted and will call round to get the books, if you can spare them she would like a dozen. I don’t know how to tell you this, so I will just come straight out with it, but she would like Samantha Sinclair to do the honours, not Rory. You wrote the book as a woman, for women, and she just thought it will be better if the girls met Sammie. Do you still want to do it?”

“ I hadn’t thought of that, and I am not really sure. I know that I am comfortable dressed as a woman around the house, and even in the company of Susan and Jamie, but a roomful of women, especially local women who vaguely know me, is in a different league , I’m not sure if I could handle it. What are they going to think of a man who uses a woman’s name and mixes with them wearing a dress and makeup?”

“ Look. Maggie is coming round this afternoon to collect the books, why don’t you meet her as Rory, and then while I chat with her you can go and get changed into Sammie and see how she reacts?”

Later we met Maggie at the door and I had a quick word with her to explain that Samantha was actually just a pen-name I used to differentiate me from all my previous novels as Rory and after the normal polite small talk I went off to become Samantha while Kirsty looked after her and served tea and shortbread.

When I re-entered the room, wearing a casual skirt and top with my breast forms slipped into my bra, and with a light application of makeup, Maggie didn’t even blink an eyelid or pause her conversation, she just looked at me, smiled and said ‘Nice to meet you Samantha, Kirsty has been telling me all about you and how your work has been helped a lot by wearing skirts.”

“ Doesn’t this shock you, how will your friends at the book club react?”

“ Och no. we all got over that when we first met Jamie, clothes are just clothes, it is the person inside them that counts. Besides you are much more convincing than Jamie was at the start, although she has turned out to be a bonnie woman now. The girls at the book club will be over the moon that we will have a famous author with us, nothing much exciting happens around here and you will liven things up. We normally meet every other Friday afternoon at my house, it is much cosier and friendly than the village hall. If I get the books around to the girls today, that will give them over a week and a half before we meet, is that ok with you?”

“ If you are sure that I will not embarrass anyone, including myself, I look forward to it, When we are finished the tea and biscuits I will carry the books out to the car for you and you can share them around.”

“Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, and the girls will all be delighted to see you, and they will have no trouble meeting you as Samantha.” she said, giving me a hug and kiss before getting into her car and driving off.

As promised, the following Friday, after a few hours of pampering and Kirsty working her magic on me, I arrived at Maggie’s, accompanied by Susan and Jamie for moral support. They often attended the book club anyway and had been very keen to hear what the others thought of ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’, which they had really enjoyed when they read the draft manuscript.

I was so nervous I was almost feeling sick, not because of the worry of hearing comments about the book, but about how I would be received dressed as a woman in a roomful of women. Kirsty had styled my hair which was now long enough to experiment with, given me a subtle summer makeup and found a loose light summer dress and cardigan for me and I definitely looked the part as Samantha Sinclair.

I was shocked when Maggie answered the door and, instead of letting us in, took us around the side of her house into her garden, where instead of the expected dozen, there looked to be at least double that. She quietly told me that as well as the normal group there were a few others that had read the book online and wanted to join in and see the local celebrity author, and that the garden had a lot more room as it would be a bit crowded in her small cottage

“ Right girls this is the moment we have all been waiting for. Let me introduce Samantha Sinclair, you have all been reading her book for the last week or so and she would be delighted to hear your comments and to answer any questions.”

When she did not get an immediate question from any of the others, she continued “ Let me tell you about Samantha, who some of you may see through the makeup and clothes and recognise and know as Rory Sinclair.”

I was beginning to get embarrassed, i was here to hear the reviews of my book, not to have my life discussed.

,“ As you all may or may not know, Rory lives locally, up by the Firth, and has previously written crime novels. When he decided to try to write a romance, to get into the minds of his female characters, he has taken to dressing and behaving as a woman when writing. I am sure you will all agree that he does it very well and that those of you who didn’t already know would never have guessed. It was very kind of him to come to be with us today, and very brave as well to come as Samantha.”

Maggie had provided a tea of home-baked cake, scones and biscuits to keep everyone happy while we talked, and there followed a lively discussion and question-and-answer session about the storyline and characters, particularly what they thought of Katherine. I thought that it had gone a lot better than expected, and just as I had been with Jamie and Susan, I soon relaxed and enjoyed their company before Maggie surprised me.

“We obviously have all really enjoyed the book and can’t wait for the next one in the series.Samantha, we have enjoyed your company and I am sure that I speak for all of us that that we would love you to come again and give us your professional opinion on other authors and books.”

I was suddenly surrounded by a crowd all looking for me to sign their copies of the book and asking questions, not just about the book and my writing, but also about my attitudes to women and how spending a lot of my time as a woman has changed me. They obviously all knew Jamie and her story and so there was no shock reaction to my cross-dressing, just curiosity. They were a friendly crowd and all treated me with respect and friendliness and I promised that I would come to future meetings when it was convenient. I was not a great socialiser, which was one of the reasons that we had moved up here to this quiet backwater with a house well away from neighbours,

“ Thank you very much Ladies, I was deeply worried before coming here today, but you have made me so welcome, and I have really enjoyed my time here with you all. I will be delighted to come along to your next meeting. Hopefully, before too long I may have another book for you to read and discuss.”

“ That wasn’t too bad was it?’ Jamie asked as she drove me home, I knew that you would have no problems, they were all very accepting of me. It will be good for you to go to their meetings, the more you mix with women the more you will understand us and carry that over into your writing.’

When they dropped me off there was a large Mercedes parked at our house which I didn’t recognise and going in cautiously I found Charles Haughton sitting chatting to Kirsty. It took him a while to recognise me before bursting into a big grin.”

“ Wow Rory, or should that be Samantha, you look amazing, which makes this conversation a lot easier than I thought it would be. Sales of ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’, have rocketed and it is selling faster than most of your detective novels ever did, we have had to go for a reprint run. We are being inundated with requests for book signing sessions and I wasn’t sure how to get you to handle them.”

“ It all sounds good. Set something up and we can sort out the details later Charles.”

“I am in the area to see family and thought that it would be easier to have this conversation face-to-face rather than over the phone. Obviously you could just be open about it and turn up as Rory, but I’m certain that it would all be a lot more successful if you went as Samantha. You look very convincing, and you have already made your first public appearance today,.Kirsty has been telling me all about you and how you have been able to completely change the tone of your writing and it is a fascinating story.”

“I’m not sure I could do it Charles, i know that a lot of authors write under a pen name of the opposite sex, but I don’t know of any that make public appearances as their literary alter-ego, could Kirsty not do it for me.”

“ I can’t see that working, what if someone asks a few penetrating questions about your story, how would she be able to handle them? Besides you did all the work and had all the ideas, you deserve the attention and praise of your readers. Have a serious think about it and talk it through with Kirsty, and let me know. Obviously if you need any help to get into the role of Samantha, we would help all we can. By the way, ‘Santorini Sunsets” is getting ready for printing and should be out in a fortnight or so, advance orders are amazing.”

When he left, Kirsty and I had a long serious chat, after all she was my business manager as well as my sister.”

“ It’s a great opportunity for you Rory, this could take you up to the next level in recognition of your prestige as an author. I understand that you are concerned that Sammie is taking over your life, but what harm could there be in being her for a few weeks to push up your public profile . With a bit more fine tuning and with me constantly watching you and nagging you when things do not look or sound right, you will have no trouble passing as Samantha.”

“ Ok, but I would want you with me all the time just in case any problems come up and I start digging holes for myself to fall into.”

Kirsty enrolled Jamie to help tidy up the rough edges for me, Whilst not proposing to go all the way down the same path as her, a lot of the traumas and problems she had experienced and how she had overcome them were extremely useful for me, in particular the speech therapy she had gone through really helped me to train my voice to sound a lot more feminine, and she was delighted to be a source of advice to me.

In the month until the signing tour was due I immersed myself more and more into the personality of Samantha, I went along to Maggie’s book club and happily mixed in with them all, learning to join in their conversations and practice my new voice, I couldn’t have got myself ready to face the general public without the friendly treatment from all the lovely women around me, and I owed them all an awful lot.

The initial tour was planned for the main cities and towns in central Scotland, well away from my home area, starting in Glasgow then moving on to Edinburgh, Stirling, Perth , Dundee, Aberdeen and Inverness, before dropping back down the majestic Great Glen to Fort William and home.

It was to be a hectic month of two or three days of signing in each place with a few rest breaks between. Kirsty made sure I was properly prepared, booking us into a spa hotel just outside Glasgow, where I was given a full body wax, had my hair and makeup professionally styled, and was fitted out with several outfits and lots of accessories so that I was able to change my looks depending on the type of bookstore I was in.

The first two or three sessions in Glasgow were a bit of an ordeal as, despite the best efforts of my friends, I was still not convinced that I was totally natural as Samantha. But I was well received by everyone, particularly my readers who queued up to meet me and get a personalised signing of the books they had just bought, and I soon learned to relax and just be myself as Samantha and forget all about Rory.

It was an amazing and successful whirlwind tour, but after a month of living out of a suitcase in hotels, I was glad to get home again and was ready to just switch off. Kirsty, Jamie and Susan, however, had arranged a bit of a celebration party with the women from the book club, before I was allowed to put Sammie back into the wardrobe. It took a few days to switch off Sammie and become Rory again, I had got to be so comfortable as Samantha on the tour. It was like being an actor at the end of a long season struggling to get out of character and be their normal natural self again.

The book sales really took off, both at the signings and following reviews in the press and it wasn’t long before Charles Haughton was pushing for more.

“ Good news Samantha, ’Summer in Sant’Antioco’ is really racing up the best seller charts, and they would like you to do a promotional interview on Morning TV, that is national not just Scotland, you have really hit the big time with this book. You could also use it to promote the next book ‘Santorini Sunsets’ and give that a good kickstart too. Samantha is a really popular author now, you need to make the most of it.”

“That is a different deal altogether Charles, camera close-ups will show any flaw in my looks and skin texture and the sound systems will emphasise any speech problems, It could badly backfire on us and blow the whole thing apart.”

“ Sammie, and that is how you have to consider yourself now, you had rave reviews at the book signings, there was absolutely no suggestion that you were anything other than an attractive, talented author promoting her book, and you charmed your public and went down a storm, stop worrying. For as long as you continue to write the ‘Katherine’ adventures, you have to accept that people will expect to see Samantha Sinclair. and take whatever steps are needed to foster that image.”

He was right of course. I went down to the main studio in Manchester and did the show, even the professional makeup artists found no fault with me. The well-known presenters got me to relax and talk casually about the book and I was able to deflect any questions about my personal life without making it too obvious. After that first interview I was inundated with offers for more chat show appearances, I was suddenly on the media circus going from studio to studio. Sales went through the roof, I, or rather Samantha, was now established as as up-and-coming new author who had really tapped into her reader market.

To get the full market exposure for ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’, Charles held back on the final publication of ‘Santorini Sunsets’ on the basis as he described it of ‘keep them waiting and begging for more, don’t rush things, stretch it all out a bit.’

This gave me an opportunity to have a long holiday break doubled up with research into settings for future novels. Kirsty and I went on a grand European tour of Amsterdam, Cologne, Geneva, Rome, Naples, Venice, Athens, Monaco and Monte Carlo, and Paris, all of them exotic destinations to use as backdrops to the storylines I had planned. For obvious reasons of passports and legal status I made the tour as Rory, and whilst it was good to be myself again, I did miss Samantha and was glad to get home again, become her once more ,and start on my new book. When I was working I spent all my time as Samantha and our friends and neighbours were soon used to seeing both her and Rory at different times, and were comfortable with me as either.

When ‘Santorini Sunsets’ finally came out., I made sure that I had enough copies for Maggie and her book club, and we all got together review it at one of their regular meetings. As well as enjoying their company, it was good to get feedback from people that I knew would be objective and honest with me, and planned to make a session with them a regular, pre-publishing regime

Over time, I was producing books at roughly 6 monthly intervals, each set in one or more of the main cities of Europe, each with Katherine as the main, or at least a significant, character, and I, or rather Samantha, became very successful, and quite wealthy. I had hit the market for the changed attitudes of today’s young women, who were able to relate to my heroines much better than to the traditional Victorian heroine roles in most romantic literature.

I owed a lot to Kirsty who had set me off in my new career by giving me the best advice I had ever had in my professional life, “You have to learn to think more like a woman, see things through their eyes”

The End

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Oban

joannebarbarella's picture

I only ever went to Oban once, for a three-day stopover on a tour of Scotland. We stayed at a hotel which could best be described as "quaint" and it soon became evident that the staff were VERY closely related. I fully expected impromptu renditions of Duelling Banjos (or possibly bagpipes) and little jigs to break out at any moment. They never did and our stay was totally enjoyable.

I suspect that Sammi will gradually become the dominant personality and Rory will fade from view.

Another lovely story Gill.

In many smaller remote towns,

In many smaller remote towns, like Oban and Taynuilt where the series is set everybody knows everyone else and their business. In many ways close community can be a good thing, with people looking out for each other, but they can be suffocating and you need to escape into the wider world occasionally.Thank you so much for your comment. Glad you liked the story.

Supportive Community

Lucy Perkins's picture

One of the many things that I love about this story (and it's predecessor too) is the fact that the small community is totally open minded about the two main transgendered characters.
Jamie is happily accepted as Susan's wife, (that was lovely to catch up with two of my favourite characters!) and the Book Club were very keen to meet Sammie. In my own experience, the "Daily Mail Mafia" can be surprisingly accepting of a middle aged trans/lesbian couple, and your lovely characters like Maggie are far far more open minded than that .
I do love the idea of a romance book signing tour, where Sammie has to meet her readers. After passing an experience like that, Rory will have to fade into history..Sammie is going to be here for the long haul.
Lucy xx

"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."

Supportive community

In many large cities and towns, people who do not fit the traditional norms, whether it is race, culture, religion, or sexuality, tend to get pushed into"ghettos' and social groups of similarly minded people. In my experience, smaller communities tend to be more accepting, and judge people on their individual personality and how they get on and mix with their neighbours and friends.
It has been a while since I wrote the first story in this series and there'll be more to come in due course, with new characters as well as the established favourites, but as they are stand alone stories they do not have to follow on immediately as a series in a novel.
Thank you smooch for yet another supportive comment.

Gill xx

Experience is the best teacher

Liked the storyline and progression. Well done. Thank you for sharing your skill with us.

>>> Kay