Read Ashley’s hertil secret diary to discover a boy whose life changed when he got a new step mum. He is being transformed into a girl. Parts of him hate this, parts of him like it. This is a story of the evil step mum, or is she evil? Barbie’s diary is full of twists and I hope will make you think.
My name is Barbie. Everyone calls me Barbie because I am small and I have long blond hair. I am the smallest in my class. My real name is Ashley. Before you ask, I do not like Barbie's. I never played with them. I suppose when you have hair down to your shoulders, then people think you look like a girl and call you Barbie. I am eleven years old.
I got this diary today. So I might as well write in it. It is a purple one with a bear and heart on the cover. It has a lock on it. I might as well use it. It could be fun reading about it a year after. It does look like a girl’s diary. Maybe boys don't write diaries.
I got the diary from my new step mum. My mum died when I was young. Now dad has got married again. He didn't ask me. We have to move to step mums new house. She has a daughter that is 9 and a son that is 16.
They got married today. It was OK. I sat there thinking that I had a new mum. But I'm not going to call her mum. I have one mum. It’s not my fault she’s dead. After the wedding and party we came home to their house. It was now going to be my new family and house. I was no longer the only child. I even had to share a room with Isabella, who was 9. I would much prefer to share a room with Alex, but Stepsie (I call step mum that) said it would be better with Isabella.
The room was pink with some red. The ceiling was cool though. It has clouds and a rainbow. Otherwise everything was pink. There were 2 beds and her toys were all over the place. Mine was still in boxes. Her bed was a girl’s bed too. It had Hannah Montana on it. At least I had my Spider man sheets. Anyway, I was too tired after the long day, and I didn't care where I slept. Wow, see how much I wrote. If my teacher seen this, she would think that I could write any essay. I will say goodnight.
Last night was strange. I like Isabella. She speaks a lot. Last night I could hardly sleep because she kept on talking and talking. That's the good thing about writing to a diary. You can't talk back. She put her nightie on and looked at my pj.
"Those are so ugly," she said, "my nightie is much prettier."
"It would look ugly on me," I tried to say. It was a joke.
"No I don't think so."
I thought she was weird. Who ever heard of a boy wearing nighties? I bet you think that was weird diary. But wait to I tell you what happened next. As we lay in bed, I looked over at Isabella. I couldn't believe my eyes, she was sucking a pacifier. She was too old to be using a baby’s thing.
"Isabella, why are you sucking that?"
She looked at me and if it wasn't that dark, I suppose I could see that her face would have been red. However I did notice a smile and she said,
"Because I like it."
"Yeah, but you look like a baby."
"It helps me to sleep. I'm not a baby and don't call me that anymore."
I just lay in my bed and thought she was weird. Then she came over to me with a dummy and placed it besides my pillow. "Try it; you will also fall asleep much easier." She also gave me a fluffy care bear. No way was I going to use a dummy. I was 11 years old.
As I looked around the pink room, I thought why Dad didn't tell them that this was also a boy’s room, and boys shouldn't be in pink rooms. Then I thought of my Mom and needless to say I started to cry silently. I don't know why I did it, but I hugged the care bear and sucked on the pacifier.
Maybe it reminded me of when my mom was there. Isabella was right, I slept so well.
The next morning I woke up, something was wrong. I wet the bed. I couldn't believe it. It has been years since I wet the bed. I was sitting in the wet bed thinking how I was going to sneak everything out when Stepsie (step mum) came in. She told us to get up. Isabella was as chirpy as a bird and told her mum that she helped me go to sleep by giving me one of her pacifiers. I was so embarrassed. I wished that the ground would swallow me up. Still I hid under the covers while Stepsie found clothes for
"Now it’s your turn, Ashley."
"I can get dressed myself, I can wait to you go out"
"Nonsense," she said as she pulled the bed sheets back. She noticed that I wet the bed and despite the fact that I tried to explain it never happened, she just was silent as she started to undress me. Isabella couldn't keep her mouth shut, "Mum, he called me a baby last night because I use pacifiers."
"I-I-I didn't call you a baby. I said that only babies-"
"Well, who looks like a baby now?" said Stepsie as I layed there in a wet bed and a pacifier in my mouth. I quickly spat it out.
Stepsie gave me a hug and said it was probably because of the changes in the family and maybe it was just for one night. "If it is the same tonight, we can use Isabella's old protection so you won't be so embarrassed."
Protection, what could that be?? I got dressed and didn't think about it all day until I went to bed. After saying my prayers, I layed in my bed thinking about this new family and then I thought of my Mum. I started to cry silently. Stepsie came in and noticed I was crying and didn't say a word, she just put a pacifier in my mouth and kissed me on the forehead.
"I bought you six pacifiers today, as you shouldn't be using Isabella's."
I layed in my bed and starting writing this. It's a good thing that you have a lock on because I am about to write a secret. I really don't mind pacifiers. They sooth me. Make me sleep better. To tell you the truth I am getting to like pink too.
Hi again Diary,
the next morning was the same. I woke up with a wet bed. Isabella was nice about it but I could see that stepsie was annoyed. She took of my wet pj. I stood there naked and I must have gone red all
over. "Mum, isn't Barbie a boy?"
"Yes sweetie, why?" Stepsie asked Isabella.
"Look at his thingie, it's so small," she laughed
"Yes," Stepsie said, "He could nearly be a girl. Who knows?"
The she put me over her knee and started spanking me. This hurt like anything. It was more embarrassing that I lay over her knee half naked while Isabella could just see me. And Isabella thought I looked like a girl. As I screamed and cried, I thought that it would never end. The stepsie told Isabella to slap me 5 times. I didn't understand why my new half-sister also should spank me. Even though she has a small hand, it hurt.
I was then told that I shouldn't wet the bed. As I layed on her I cried.
Stepsie put the pacifier in my mouth and calmed me down. I noticed that the pacifier was pink and white!!!
Then Stepsie said that we will have to do something with the bed wetting. Maybe a plastic sheet would help I thought. I knew that a girl from my class used them when she was younger.
That evening when I came home from school, Stepsie called me into my room. Or should I call it the pink princess room. She told me to lie down on my bed. I thought I was going to be spanked for talking in class that day.
However she told me to lay down on my back. Isabella came in and she knew what was going to happen. I could see it on her face, and let’s face it, she knew her mom better than I did.
Stepsie started by taking my trousers down. This was embarrassing, once again my privates was shown for everyone to see. I should have fought it and ran as far as my 2 legs would take me. But I just layed there. Then the surprise of my life came when Stepsie came with a diaper. A pampers baby diaper.
"We have to protect the bed and you will find it easier sleeping in the with a diaper on."
"I am not a baby!" I protested.
"Well, only babies wet their beds. It makes no difference. Every day when u get home you will wear a diaper."
"Why can’t I wear it just before I go to sleep?"
"Because this is the rules, as your new mum, I decide."
By the time we finished arguing, I had a diaper on. It was big and I felt like an 11 year old baby. They put my pj on and then I started doing my homework. After a bit I forgot that I was wearing a diaper.
That was until I came down to watch TV. Isabella was very nice about it and didn't tease at all. But then John, my new step brother came in and noticed my big bum while I was lying down on the floor.
"Are you wearing a diaper?" he asked
"Sod Off. None of your business," I retorted
"OMG, we have a baby in the house. A Diaper boy. This is so weird."
I hated being teased, and could feel a tear flow down my cheek.
Isabella ran out of the room and just stuck a pacifier in my mouth again.
I started sucking. What was happening to me?
Sorry I didn't write to you sooner. I have no excuse. I am wearing the diaper every afternoon when I come home from school. The funny thing was that I started to wet the diaper. I don't know why, but I think it's because I waited for the last minute and when I tried to get to the toilet, then it was too late. Maybe I was lazy. I most likely was. Today when I came home from school and I was getting the diaper on. As my legs were pointed in the air, I started thinking that it is not that bad. My heart started to beat faster when I had to admit that I liked having diapers on. I no longer minded them. What was happening to me? Am I now a baby? I was no longer a big boy. I was lying down getting a diaper on and I didn't care.
When the diaper was finally fastened, Stepsie came with a nightdress. It was new with white and pink arms with a picture of the Little Mermaid. Again she just slid it over me and did I put a fight up? No. I just accepted it as if it was normal. Then the thought hit me. I was wearing a girl’s night dress!!!
"This is for girls," I said.
"I know, however it will be easier to change you before bed."
"But I look like a sissy!"¨
"Maybe, but a cute sissy."
I hate being called cute.
when I was doing my homework, I started to think that I felt like a girl. With my hair down to my shoulders, I mostly looked like a girl. This was strange. You know what the problem is, I sort of liked it. It made me feel different than the others. Here I was a 11 year old boy sitting doing my homework dressed in a girls nightdress and a diaper, and I allowed it!
Stepsie shouted up if I was wet. I was of course wet, but I didn't want to get changed. I wanted to get my homework finished. She came up and asked was I sure that I was wet and I said no. I really hated her.
She came up to me and lifted my nightie and seen the wetness. She lifted me to the bed to change me. This was embarrassing. I know I was small for my age, but I could walk.
Then she said, "Since you can't tell me when you're wet, you will be checked. Otherwise you will get a rash. What are you afraid of; I will see your thingie? Let me tell you this much, there is not a lot to see."
I told her to shut up. She went out with a smile on her face. I know that my thingie was small, but she shouldn't tease me about it. She shouldn't even talk about it!!!
Later that night, I got a shock. Isabella came in when I was playing a computer game. She asked if I was wet. I didn't answer. Then she pulled up my nightie. She said that she will tell stepsie that I was wet. I sat there in shock. I felt like a baby.
Remember when I told you that I didn't play with Barbie's. Well that is not true now. I have started playing with Isabella's things. Her dolls and dollhouse. It is actually fun. I like it. I like when I play with her. We have become very close friends, even though she calls me sister. I suppose when I am sitting in a nightdress that I do look like a girl.
Isabella still checks to see if I'm wet. I don't mind that anymore. I think she likes it as sometimes she does take her time checking me.
Anyhow tonight Stepsie came into our room when we were playing and said, "It's time girls for your bath." Isabella jumped up and ran out to the bathroom. I just sat there; she did say that it was a girl’s bath.
Then stepsie came up and took my hand and dragged me out to the bathroom. It was now that I was certain that stepsie was starting to consider me as a girl. Isn't this against the law???? I suppose it didn't matter. It was only a nightie and a girl’s bath. It was only girl’s toys and long hair. I am still a boy. I think.
It was strange sitting in the same bath as Isabella. I know she has seen me before, but this was freaky. What if my mates at school heard? They would think that I fancied Isabella. All these thoughts went through my head while stepsie was washing me. What would my friends say to that? My step mum was washing me. They would think I was weird. At the end Isabella and I played in the tub until we were told to come out because our skin will be wrinkled as an old man. While Isabella put her big girls clothes on, I was put in my nightie and diaper with a Pacifier in my mouth.
let's hope that no one can read this. If people knew that I was an eleven year old that wore diapers at home and nightdresses. If they knew that I liked pacifiers and girls toys. Then they would lock me away for life. They would ask why I don’t say no. It would be hard to explain that I really don't care. I kind of like it.
I was now bed wetting every night. I could not control it. Every morning when I woke up I would have a wet diaper. The same when I was wearing a diaper after school. I started noticing that I could not get to the toilet on time.
Today at school, I just made it to the toilet. But as I was taking my trousers down, I started to pee. Some of it could be seen in my trousers.
It wasn't very wet, but I got scared. I told Stepsie that when she was putting me in a diaper when I came home from school. She said that she had thought that this would be a problem and it would be better tomorrow.
I smiled as she found my pacifíer. Things were going to get better. Maybe she would give me medicine or potty train me.
When I woke up, I was of course wet. Stepsie came in and started changing me. She had my school uniform ready. Then she took pull-ups and explained that it was underwear but it had padding in it in case I had
the same accident as yesterday. She said she bought pink and white ones with Minnie mouse as a fairy because she thought they were so cute. It looked like girls panties, just a lot thicker.
As she started putting it on me, I started thinking if I should protest.
One thing is being a baby at home, but wearing diapers to school could ruin my life. And if they found out they were pink, then I might as well hide myself.
I didn't protest.
The Pull-up made my butt look very big under the trousers. I was sure that someone at school would notice.
However no one did and it was good that I had it on, because the same think happened as it did yesterday. I didn't make it to the toilet on time. No one noticed, but I was afraid all day that it would leak, that someone would see it or something else.
Stepsie told me that she had a solution to that.
Today is the second day where I would be wearing a pull-up to school. Stepsie told me that she had bought me something that would keep me warm. I wasn't cold. I just wanted to make sure that my friends didn't find out about the diaper. Now I had something else to worry about.
After Stepsie put the pull-up on me, she put an undershirt. But it was obviously a girl’s one. It had straps around the shoulders and a little pink ribbon. This was not the worse. She started putting tights on me. They were white and not that thick. They felt funny against my legs.
Lucky I got my uniform on. I was a boy on the outside and a girl hidden under.
You are now my best friend. There is no one else I can write about the weird things that is happening to me. I told you about yesterday. Step put me in Pull-ups and tights and a girlie undershirt. When she did it, I didn’t care. I mean my school uniform was over it, and that was still a boys uniform. No one would know, would they? I didn’t even think about until I came to school.
But when I was in school. I went past a trophy case. I could see my refection in the glass. Oh my gosh, my butt was so big. I stared at the reflection for a few minutes thinking if anyone else could see the big butt. My best friend Philip laughed and told me that I look nice, even with my long blond hair.
We had maths afterwards. I hate Math’s. I really do. In the middle of the class, I could feel that I was getting wet. I could feel a tear coming to my eye. I tried to wipe it away and control myself from crying. I didn’t want Philip or anyone in the class thinking I was crying like a little girl.
But I was a little girl. Look at my hair. It was down to my shoulder, I always had long hair. I was wearing tights and a girl’s undershirt. I was even wearing a pull up because I could no longer get to the toilet on time. What was happening to me? It can’t be normal. It can’t be normal that I didn’t even say no to these things that Stepsie was putting on me. It can’t be normal that I didn’t tell her that I wanted to be a boy.
But do I want to be a boy? Maybe I like the attention that Stepsie is giving to me. I miss my Mum so much that I really don’t mind her fussing over me. I don’t mind being treated like a little girl. Well, I didn’t when it was at home. But now I am slowly turning to a girl at school.
Dear Diary, when I started writing this, I could feel the tears once again. Now I am crying like anything. Without even knowing it, I have put the pacifier in my mouth. I have decided that I will no longer be a girl. I am a boy. I will say no to Stepsie and I will get dad to help me. But how, he is always at work.
Did he just get married so someone will take care of me? Does he really love me? Does he not see what is happening?
I have to go to sleep now.
Barbies Diary - Part 2
Barbies Diary - Part 3
Barbies Diary - Part 4
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