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Image: Free Wallpaper from http://www.scenicreflections.com/ ~Sephrena.

Author's Note: Thank you Hope for your encouragement and help in editing. Thank you Sephrena for making the post appear professional. Most of all thank you to all who have commented or left Kudos. For those who have left comments, I answer them with what I hope is something witty and appreciated. ~Barbara.

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Chapter 35: Reality Check
 

They woke early to a bright morning. The young boy cleaned the fish as the girl rebuilt the fire. Soon they had a breakfast fit for any camper. They ate in silence, each lost in her or his own thoughts. She was thinking about how close she came to mating with the cowboy and the nightmare. He was thinking of the vulnerability the girl had shown during the night. She had been so tough up until now.

“Gabriel, I'm sorry that I tempted you last night. And thank you for being with me when I was scared.”

“I shouldn't have kissed you at the lake,” the young man said.

“I wanted you to.”

“So, I should have restrained myself.”

“I can't expect you to restrain yourself every time I am weak”

“No, but I shouldn't take advantage of you when you are vulnerable.”

“You are my knight in shining armor.” She put her good arm around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. “This just feels right. Maybe I have been fighting our love too hard. I still want to wait, but that doesn't mean we can't act like we are in love.”

“I was hoping you would say that. Cause I like kissing you. We just need to set some boundaries to keep things from going too far before we marry.”

“Why? Do you want a virgin bride?” she teased.

“You ARE getting a virgin husband. Besides, I know what is said about premarital sex these days with people living together to see if they get along before they get married. To me, that is just some bum sponging off a woman until she gets smart enough to kick him out. Living together and premarital sex just causes problems we don't need. I can wait.”

“You are almost too good to be true.”

“I have my faults. Being a slob in my room, is one of them. I have others, but I'll let you have the fun of figuring them out.”

They finished cleaning up their camp site, making sure the fire was out. After the rain and snow of the preceding day, the threat of wild fire was minimal, but good practice is good practice. They had used and old fire ring where evidence of their passing was minimal. The young wolf practiced 'Take only memories and leave only footprints.' She thought back to her smoke lodge by the lake on the mountain. It would eventually collapse on itself and become a haven for the smaller animals. Two Bears had dug a small trench that he built the fire in to use on the drying rack. When he was done drying the beef they had killed on the mountain, he would cover the trench and no one would know of their passing. That is the way of nature. Given time, nature can heal most scars left by man or nature's own calamities such as storm, fire or landslide. Given time, most wounds of the heart, body and soul can heal. She missed her grandparents. She even missed having a father to help guide her, but she was finding a new family. They would fill some of the gaps in her heart.

Jesse mounted Big Spot and sat waiting for Gabriel. “I think I will walk a ways this morning,” the cowboy said. “How about leading my horse up ahead about an hour’s walk. I want to speak with Silver Ears awhile.” He took his rifle off his horse and placed it on his shoulder.

The large wolf looked at the boy as Jesse rode off. {You said you needed to talk.}

“Yes. Apparently Jesse's ability to understand you has rubbed off on me.”

{That's good. It will make this talk easier.}

“You were right about her being scared last night, but she would have mated with me if I wanted to.”

{Why didn't you?}

“I want to wait until we are married.”

{What is married?}

“It is where two people stand before their friends and declare their love for each other and that they will only mate with each other.”

{The alpha male in a pack can mate with which ever female he wants.}

“I'm sure that is true of most wolf packs, but your pack is not like a regular wolf pack. Jesse said I have to go before the elders to ask to marry her. You’re as close to a father to her as one can get, besides George, Two Bears, and Doc Henley. That's a lot of people I'm going to have to ask to get to marry her.”

{So what is it that you want to ask me?}

“Two things really. One, I want your permission to come before the pack elders to ask for Jesse to be my mate for life. And two, I want your permission to be a father to your daughter Merry. I can never replace you, but I can love her like she was my own little girl. I can't say she would never want for things, but she would never want for love.”

{You ask for two of my most precious loves}

“I know. That's why I wanted to walk and talk with you. If you had any questions that you would ask of me, I will answer them truthfully.”

{Does Merry know that you want to be a father to her?}

“No. Until you agree, I won't ask her. I will make sure that she knows that I am not going to replace you. I just want her to feel loved as a little girl should, and to feel protected like you would protect her at the dens.”

{What do you know about raising pups?}

“Like most first time fathers, I don't know much. You have to keep them fed, show them lots of love, don't discipline out of anger, as my dad says, be the parent first, then you can be a friend. I hope I am half the father my dad is. I think he has raised some pretty good pups.”

{What would you do if she decided to come back to live with her mother and me?}

“I would have to let her, but I hope she would remember that she always has a home with us.”

{Your pups are going to have a great father. Just remember they will frustrate you.}

“Anything that has a mind of its own can be frustrating. That is part of parenting.”

{You can ask Merry after you ask that girl to be your mate.} They were approaching where Jesse was waiting for them.

“I have loved Jesse from the first time I set eyes on her. I plan on asking her after the next full moon.”

{When do you plan to come before the council?}

“I will come the full moon after asking her, so look for us at the second full moon from now.}

{We will be waiting my friend.}

The two males walked up to the young woman still sitting on her horse. “I see you two have come to some sort of an accord. Would you mind telling me what you were talking about?”

“Yes, I would mind. A conversation that goes on between two men is supposed to be private.”

“Don't be that way. I figured you were talking about me.”

“Nope, not all about you.”

“So, you are not going to tell me.”

“Nope, you will find out in a month or so.”

“Why so secret?”

“I want it to be a surprise and I have some things to do in the mean time to get ready.”

“Okay, if I must, I’ll wait,” she pouted. “Get on your horse. We have about a three hour ride before we get to the house. Lunch should be ready by the time we get there.”

“You've gotten to be what my father calls an old campaigner. Always wondering where the next hot meal and warm clean bed is.”

“If you had been through what I have, you would be an old campaigner too,” she said indignantly. “Come on Big Spot. Let's leave these two here where they can have their secret conversations.”

The rancher looked at the old wolf and shrugged his shoulders. The wolf just shook his head. He had an idea of what was going on, but wasn't sure. {I'm unfamiliar with the human mating cycle. If my mate were acting that way I would say she was coming into heat or has past the heat phase without mating and is beginning a cleansing time.}

“Maybe. Jesse has been a girl for just a few weeks. Her body might be catching up with her. Still, I was a bit of an ass to her. I better go and apologize.”

{That is always wise.}

The young rancher mounted his nervous horse and rode off to catch up with the girl. “Are you finished making your secret plans?” she asked when he caught up to her.

“Actually yes. I caught up to you to apologize. I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me.”

“So, you wouldn't have apologized if I wasn't mad.” The edge was still in her voice.

“If I'd realized I'd offended you or if I caught myself saying something that doesn't come out quite right of course I would have apologized. This isn't about keeping secrets or apologizing. Do you want to tell me what this is really about?”

She looked over at the the cowboy he could feel the tension in her words. “I don't know, I'm scared. I don't feel right physically or mentally right now. I thought I'd lost you last night when I wanted to make love to you. I didn't know what came over me. Now, look at me. I'm ready to start crying.”

“I have an idea, but I don't feel comfortable talking about it. When we get to the house, we will call my sister. I'm sure she will be able to help. Just remember, I love you.”

“Would you mind telling me what you and Silver Ears were talking about? My mind is playing so many tricks on me right now. I think you were asking him how to let me down easy and walk away.”

“That is the furthest thing from the truth. I was asking him to give me responsibility over two of the most precious things on earth. I asked him if I could ask Merry if I could be a father to her. I didn't want to usurp his right to be her father. He asked me a few questions. Then he asked me if I had asked you to marry me yet. I told him I was going to ask you to be my mate on the next full moon and then come before the counsel the moon after that. If you said yes to marrying me, then I was going to ask Merry to let me be her human father. I want to show her the love and protection little girls need.”

The tears were trickling down the girl’s cheeks, “I'm sorry I doubted you. You have been declaring your love for me for so long. Maybe I am having a hard time getting over being abandoned by my father. Maybe he loved me at one time, but it has been years since I felt any kindness from him. Why should I let his rejection of me control the way I feel now.” The tears were flowing heavier as she finished.

'How do comfort someone on horseback' thought the young man. “You have never grieved over the loss of your father. I know he isn't dead, but he turned his back on you.”

“Why is it that I don't want to give up on him?”

“He's your father. The way we are taught is that our parents will be there for us and love us until they pass away.” He turned in the saddle to see that she was quietly sobbing. Finally he had all he could stand not touching her to comfort her. “Here get on my horse with me.”

“Why?”

“I want to feel you in my arms and try to comfort you. It is a bit difficult to hug you when we are on different horses.”

“I'll be alright.”

“That's not the point. The point is I want to be there for you when you hurt.”

“Nobody has treated me like you are. I don't know what to say.”

“Tell me you love me and come ride with me.”

“You're incorrigible, but I have come to realize I do love you.”

“SUCCESS!!”

She just rolled her eyes and smiled.

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To Be Continued...