It was the end of the summer, which was one of the best times on the mountain. The air was still warm enough that no one needed to wear a coat and there were still a few weeks of life left in the world before the chill set in and all the trees that weren’t evergreens started to lose their leaves. To Christina, it felt as though she were walking through an insubstantial world of dust. While everyone else in town was holding on to the last vibrant breath of summer, Christina felt the onset of fall on every inch of her skin.

by Admiral Krunch

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Chapter 52

        "I have to say again that I would recommend that Christina stay at least one more day for observation," Doctor Redinger advised Alek.

        Alek was walking around the hospital room collecting items such as Christina's phone and charger, papers and cards from the tray table by the bed, and a small stuffed raccoon holding a heart that read "Get Well" that had been sent up from the gift shop at Steph and Lisa's request. He placed these items into a plastic bag that contained the clothes Christina had been wearing when she'd arrived.

        He paused for a moment to address Doctor Redinger. "Are you saying that it is not possible for our doctor to care for her if she is to return today?" He waved his hand dramatically as he stressed the words "not possible" to make his point.

        "I didn't say that," the doctor defended, "I would just feel more comfortable if-"

        "Doctor," Alek said cutting the man off. "My niece does not wish to remain here,"

        "But-"

        "AND," Alek stressed, "I do not believe she will heal faster if she is in a place she does not wish to be. No, I will take her home and we will look after her."

        "Mr. Levchenko, if I could just say-"

        Alek gave the man a pat on the side of the shoulder, saying, "You have done very well for my Tina, and I will forever be grateful, but now she is my responsibility."

        "Alright," Doctor Redinger said in surrender. Obviously Alek was not a man to be argued with when his mind was made up. "I'll have all her records sent over to your family physician."

        "Thank you," Alek said.

        The door on the end of the wall with the cabinets opened and Christina limped out from the bathroom. She was wearing the zebra print pajamas that Nina had picked out for her. She would have worn her clothes from the day of the incident, but the elastic waistband and loose fitting top of the pajamas where much more comfortable and did less to irritate her incision wound.

        Alek went to the girl's side and offered his sturdy arm for support.

        Doctor Redinger rolled a wheelchair over to his patient, and Christina eased into it with the support of her uncle.

        "Are you sure you won't consider staying another day?" the doctor offered to his charge.

        "I'm fine," Christina lied. "Never felt better," she grimaced as she settled into the chair.

        The doctor nodded accepting he wasn't going to have any more luck convincing Christina then he'd had with Alek. "I've already taken care of your discharge papers, so you're free to go."

        "Thank you," Christina said as her uncle started wheeling her out the door. Looking around the hallways it seemed surreal to Christina that she'd been in this place for a week and she had no idea what most of the hospital looked like outside of her room, nor did she have any idea how to navigate to the exit. She would normally have felt embarrassed to be on display in her zebra pajamas, but it seemed that everyone they passed was too engrossed in their work or otherwise preoccupied to pay much attention to the girl in the wheelchair. Christina was also too exhausted to care about her appearance.

        Seeing the old green pickup truck in the parking lot made Christina feel like she was already at home. Her uncle opened the passenger door and helped her out of her chair. He handled Christina as though she were a delicate porcelain doll that he was afraid of breaking. Once she was safely in her seat, the man pulled the seat belt across her chest, taking care to make sure it was not too uncomfortable across the girl's abdomen. Once he was satisfied, he shut the door and walked the wheelchair back to the hospital lobby.

        Christina leaned against the window, watching the older man as he walked back to the car. She was going to miss him when she left.

        Alek climbed into the passenger seat of the truck and gave his niece a final inspection. "Are you comfortable Tina?" he asked.

        "Yeah," Christina answered weakly.

        "You should try to sleep on the way home," he advised.

        "It's a long drive," she objected, "and I should keep you company."

        "I think you would have grown tired of my company by now," he joked as he started the car.

        "Never," Christina said through a weary frown.

        Christina did fall asleep on the way home, though she did not want to. Even though she'd spent a week in bed, she felt as though all the energy had been sucked out of her body, and it took every ounce of her strength just to sit up straight. She woke when she felt the uneven rattle of the truck as it started down the Levchenko's long gravel driveway. Christina had previously been away from this place for much longer than the time she'd spent in the hospital, but seeing the house felt different this time. It was as if she wasn't sure she would ever see it again, and that made the place seem somehow new.

        Alek parked the truck by the side entrance of the house then helped Christina out of her seat. She leaned against the man as he led her into the kitchen where Misha, Andrei, and Nina were waiting. Steph and Lisa had wanted to be there when Christina came home, but Misha wisely suggested that they wait until she was feeling better before bombarding her with too many visitors, regardless of their good intentions.

        "Welcome home Tina," Misha took over supporting the girl from her husband.

        "Hey everyone," she said weakly. She forced her lips into a smile in the hopes that it made everyone less concerned about her condition. She felt something fuzzy under her left palm and looked down to see that Boris was sniffing at her to garner her attention. "Hey puppy," she said to the eager dog.

        "I'm really glad you're home," Nina said as she went to her cousin. She wanted to hug Christina, but clearly she was in no shape for that.

        Christina answered, "Me too, Nina." She gave Andrei a reassuring smile, though he only nodded in response.

        "Come, Tina," Misha instructed. "Let us get you to your bed."

        "Okay," Christina agreed as the woman led her into the living room and slowly up the stairs. Alek followed with the bag of items from Christina's hospital room.

        Boris, who was not willing to be left behind, rushed past the group on the stairs and waited for them on the second floor.

        Misha and Christina eventually caught up with the dog and slowly made their way down the hall towards Christina's bedroom.

        Christina could not remember being so relieved to be back in her room. She saw that her four poster bed had fresh sheets. Her cosmetics were neatly arranged on her antique vanity. Nina must have cleaned them up because she was certain that they had been a mess when she'd left. When Christina was at the hospital, she'd begun to feel that this place no longer existed, and being back felt as though she'd run into a friend she hadn't seen in many years.

        Alek came in behind Misha and Christina and took over steadying the girl while Misha pulled back the covers on her bed. The older woman patted the mattress and Christina climbed in, using her uncle's steady arm for support.

        "How are you feeling?" Misha asked as she pulled the sheet over her niece.

        "Oh, I'm fine," Christina again lied. "I'm really sorry I put you and Uncle Alek through all this."

        "Tina," Misha admonished, "That is the last apology I wish to hear from you." She smiled maternally at the girl then asked, "Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable?"

        "I'm fine," Christina said. "If you could plug in my phone," she said to her uncle as she pointed at her nightstand.

        "Of course Tina," the man said as he dug through the plastic bag for Christina's phone and charger. It took him a short while sifting through clothes and paperwork to fish out the phone. Once he found them, he plugged the charger into the outlet behind Christina's nightstand and left the plugged in phone within Christina's reach. The phone jumped to life, claiming to have several unread text messages.

        "Is there anything else dear?" Misha asked. "Something to drink? Are you hungry?"

        Christina was hungry, but she didn't want to have any food in her system for fear of inflaming her abdomen further. "I'm alright," she said. "I think I just need to rest for a while."

        "Of course." Misha responded. "I will be in to check on you later."

        "I will call Doctor Stone," Alek told his wife. "He should visit."

        "Yes," Misha agreed, "But do not have him come until later. Tina needs her rest."

        "Thanks," Christina said as her aunt and uncle left her bedroom.

        Boris, however, was not going anywhere. The dog followed Alek and Misha to the door, but stopped short of leaving. He sniffed around the room for a bit, trying to find a spot near Christina that met his approval, then settled on the floor on the left side of the bed.

        Christina stared up at the canopy over her bed. She remembered how she used to feel in her old hard bed in her apartment in the city. She would sometimes lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, pretending she was looking up at that canopy. She'd performed the same exercise in the hospital. Seeing it now made her feel at home more than anything else. Looking down, she saw the gilt metal picture frame sitting on top of the carved chest of drawers. She gazed at the picture of Anastasia. It was the same face looking back at her that she'd seen in the grocery during her episode, though in the picture she looked so vibrant and alive. As she stared at the picture she couldn't shake the feeling that the image was watching her back.

        Closing her eyes, she tried to convince herself that what she'd experienced in the store was not real, but she could remember all of it in exact detail. She could remember all of her dreams. She remembered arguing with Alek, and driving away so very angry. And she could remember the moment of impact when the other car struck hers.

        Looking to her side she saw the large german shepherd keeping watch by her side. She looked directly into his eyes and they shared an unspoken understanding. Christina knew that everything she had experienced at the store was real. She knew because she sensed the dog had experienced it as well. She wasn't the only person having conversations of a sort with the girl in the picture frame. Maybe this is what being crazy feels like, she thought; maybe not. Christina was certain she was becoming unhinged, but then again, she had been certain that she was dying when she passed out in the grocery store, and she was still very much alive.

        Christina again closed her eyes. She was exhausted in every sense of the word. Her body still felt completely wrecked, between her appendicitis and the surgery. Her mind was tired of trying to make sense things that couldn't be explained. Most of all she felt completely shredded emotionally. She almost wished that her family had discovered her secret. Sometimes endings were better than constantly waiting for the end to come. She'd gone through the anguish of being found out only to have to hide the truth yet again.

        On top of that, she felt completely stressed and threatened to have had her doctors confront her and force her to deal with all the confusing feelings she'd been suppressing for more than a year. Being forced to face herself made her wonder if some of those feelings had been with her for even longer than she realized. Most of all she felt compelled to answer the question of who she was. She'd known the answer for quite some time though that didn't mean she wanted to admit it.

        All of these things made her want to run. If she hadn't been in so much pain, she might have done just that. Instead, she went to sleep, retreating as far away from her thoughts as she could.

 

        Christina noticed that the quality of light in her room had changed when she opened her eyes. The shadows cast by the mirror of her vanity seemed longer. Looking to her side she saw that there was a glass of water and what looked like a bowl of soup on her nightstand. Looking up from the nightstand, intending to peer out of her window, her view was obscured by Andrei, who was sitting in a chair beside her bed. He was holding a thick stick and was carving the end of it with a small knife. Boris, who had not left Christina's bedroom, was curled up on the ground next to her cousin.

        Yawning, Christina called, "Andrei?"

        "You're awake," he said, stopping his carving.

        "You know, sometimes you remind me a lot of your father."

        That comment made Andrei twist his face in disapproval.

        "I meant that as a compliment," Christina assured him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

        "Um," he started. "I saw that you had trouble walking, so I thought I'd make you this." He got out of the chair, and stood next to Christina's bedside. Holding the end of the stick outward, Christina saw that it had a rounded handle that Andrei had been carving into the shape of a horse's head.

        "That's really pretty," Christina said of the cane her cousin was crafting for her.

        "It should ..." he said as though he was having trouble speaking to her, "It should be done soon, in case you, uh, you feel like getting out of bed later."

        Just as in the hospital, Christina could sense that her cousin was very upset. When she'd first met Andrei, he'd seemed completely unreadable. Maybe it was all the time she spent with Misha, but Christina found that she no longer had any trouble sensing the emotions that her cousin tried so desperately to hide.

        "Hey," Christina said as she took the cane from her cousin and leaned it against the wall by her bed. "Come here."

        Andrei stood dumbly by the side of the bed, unsure what to do.

        Christina beckoned him with her hand, clarifying, "I can't get up, so you need to come down here."

        Andrei kneeled by the side of the bed so that his face was much closer to Christina's.

        Christina pleaded, "Tell me what's wrong."

        "There's nothing wrong," he lied.

        "Andrei," she urged, "I know you and I know something is wrong, so just let me know what it is." She reached up and felt his fuzzy unshaven cheek.

        Andrei frowned as though he there was nothing he could do to prevent his expression from sinking. "I'm fine, there's nothing wrong," he insisted.

        As Christina held his cheek, she studied his face and felt the pain in his eyes. "Andrei," she said compassionately, "I'm not gonna die."

        His eyes went wide. It was as though those were the first words he'd truly heard since Christina had gone to the hospital. Tears began to form in his eyes, though he fought them. "I know that," he insisted. "Of course I know that." With that, his face completely collapsed and he couldn't stop himself from crying in his cousin's presence. He hid his face behind his wide palm as he started to weep.

        "It's okay," Christina soothed as she guided his head down to her shoulder. She cradled it the best she could as she brushed her fingers through his hair. "It's okay," she repeated. His body jerked up and down as he tried to breath through his sobbing, and Christina held him, cradling his head with her cheek and her shoulder.

        Boris, who had become very upset at Andrei's discomfort, started pacing nervously behind him. He started nuzzling his head against Andrei's side, but the he was too lost in emotion to notice.

        "Shh," Christina cooed. "It's okay, Andrei. It's not your fault. You can't protect me from everything."

        "Yes I can," he insisted through his sobs.

        She kissed Andrei on the top of his head and held him for a long while until his breathing became less erratic. When she felt he'd cried enough, Christina guided his head up so that they could look at each other.

        "Oh Andrei," she whispered. "It's not your fault. You couldn't keep this from happening. Sometimes things just happen. There's nothing anyone can do about it."

        Andrei's face was red and his cheeks were still wet from his tears. Though the sobbing had subsided, his eyes still looked as though they were endless wells of sorrow.

        "You couldn't have saved Anastasia either. You were just a kid. There wasn't anything you could do. You have to forgive yourself, because it wasn't your fault."

        That last sentence was too much for Andrei and he started weeping again. Christina guided his head down again and soothed him as he cried. "It's okay," she assured him.

        When Andrei had spent his second round of tears, Christina released him so that they could again see each other.

        "Andrei," she explained as she put her hand over her heart. "This is the only part of me you need to protect. I need to know that if anything ever happened to me that you won't fall apart. I love you so much, and it would break my heart if you blamed yourself for something you couldn't do anything about. I can handle a busted appendix or even dying, but I'd be stuck with a broken heart forever if you were so sad."

        Even though Christina struggled to find the energy to move, from the look on his face it appeared that Andrei was the more exhausted of the two. She wiped the tears from his cheeks with her fingers and gave him a look that tried to convince him that he didn't have to feel so much pain anymore.

        "What's going on?" came Nina's voice from the door.

        Andrei turned his head to ensure that his sister couldn't see that he had been crying.

        "Nothing," Christina said as she reached for the cane that Andrei had been carving. "Andrei was just showing me this," she said. "It's amazing," she insisted as she held it up.

        "It's not done yet," Andrei said as he snatched the cane and stood up. He kept his back to his younger sister to hide his face. "You can see it when it's ready."

        "O-kay," Nina dismissed as she came in.

        "Andrei was just giving me a preview," Christina explained as she gave her older cousin cover.

        "I'm gonna take this into my room and finish it," Andrei said, his voice spent. He made sure to keep his back to Nina as he turned and left. Boris, who sensed that Andrei needed company even more than Christina trotted out the bedroom door and down the hallway.

        "What's his problem?" Nina asked as she sat on the edge of the bed. She had a small box in her right hand that her cousin had not noticed.

        "I hope he doesn't have one anymore," Christina answered.

        Nina surveyed her cousin, asking, "How are you feeling?"

        Christina responded, "I'm doing pretty good."

        "You're a crummy liar," Nina observed.

        "Yeah," Christina admitted with a small grin. "Tell me about it."

        Nina confessed, "I was really worried about you."

        "I'm sorry Nina," Christina apologized. "I'm sorry I put everyone though this and I'm so sorry I messed up your big night."

        "I don't care about that," the girl insisted. "I'm just glad you're back."

        Christina let out a long exhale. "I'm glad too. I'm don't think I'm a big fan of hospitals."

        "I don't think anyone is," Nina commiserated. "Tell me the truth," Nina insisted. "How bad does it really hurt?"

        Christina held her arms over her right side where her wound was. "It feels like someone took a big pair of scissors and tried to cut me in half. It's like they got halfway done and the rest me is just connected by the threads left over."

        "That sounds pretty awful."

        "Nothing ever hurt this much," Christina admitted. "If you can manage it, never have a part of your body explode."

        "You're gonna get better," Nina consoled. "You know what they say- what doesn't kill you-"

        "Leaves a big hole," Christina joked.

        "Yeah," Nina laughed. "So," she started sounding a bit more serious. "I found this in your car," she said as she showed Christina the small black box that was sealed with a silver bow. "I don't know what it is or why it was under your car seat."

        Christina sighed as she looked at the box. "That," Christina explained as she frowned, "is from Richard. It was supposed to be an anniversary gift." Her mind went back to that night; so many things had happened that she had completely forgotten about the gift.

        Nina asked, "You never opened it?"

        "No. I was gonna get him a gift too, but ... well, you know, things didn't work out."

        "You're not curious what it is?"

        "I ... ", Christina shrugged. "Nina, I forgot I even had it."

        "I think you should open it," Nina pronounced.

        "I don't think so," Christina objected. "It doesn't matter anymore. I should just give it back, or throw it away."

        "You can't throw it away!" Nina complained.

        "Fine," Christina balked. "When I feel better I'll ... I dunno ... I'll mail it back to him or something."

        "I can't believe you don't even want to know what it is," Nina pressed. "I'd want to know."

        "That's because you want to know everything," Christina carped. "I think we should just let this one go."

        "I've been waiting to talk to you so I could find out what this is. I can't believe you don't even care."

        "It's not that I don't care," Christina defended. "It's just that it-" Christina sighed, realizing that Nina's insatiable curiosity could not be reasoned with. "Fine," she gave in. "You open it."

        Nina was about to protest that she shouldn't be the one to open it, but she very much wanted to know what was hiding in the tiny box. She pulled at the edge of the glittery silver bow as though the entire box might open on its own accord if given half a chance. She pulled the bow free and felt that the box had a seam that split it horizontally one quarter up from its base. She pushed at the top and the box opened on two unseen hinges at the back.

        Nina marveled at what she saw. The interior of the box was lined with velvet. Cradled in the bottom portion was a silver band. Four tiny prongs held a diamond that was cut into a square. The stone caught the light in a kaleidoscope of sparkling parallelograms, which were duplicated in the reflections on the ceiling. Smaller diamonds adorned the band around the larger stone, each of which caught lights of their own.

        "Oh wow," Nina said. "Is this a ... ?"

        Christina closed her eyes. It was the most beautiful engagement ring she'd ever seen, and she couldn't even begin to guess how much it must have been worth.

        "Oh Nina," she sighed. "I screwed up really bad this time."

        Nina handed the box to her cousin who took it and held it in her hands. "What are you going to do?" Nina eventually asked.

        "I dunno, Nina," she said. "I'm gonna have to give it back." She looked at the ring and felt completely overwhelmed. "Nina," she said with a wavering voice. "I don't feel so good. I think I should be alone for a little while."

        "Are you sure?" her cousin asked.

        "Yeah," Christina answered.

        Nina reached over and carefully gave Christina a hug. "Okay," she said. She went to the door adding, "If you want to talk later-"

        Christina repeated, "Yeah." After Nina had left, Christina studied the sparkling ring. She reached out to touch it, but stopped short. Richard really loved her, she thought, at least he used to.

 

        Christina stayed in bed healing for another two weeks. Doctor Stone was a frequent visitor to her bedside to monitor her recovery. If the man had been let in on her secret, he did not mention it. That was fine by Christina. She had already been depressed, and the discovery of the engagement ring had made her feel heartbroken all over again. The last thing she wanted was another person forcing her to face herself. If it weren't for the support of her family and her friends, Christina likely would have never gotten out of bed, even though her body had healed.

        It wasn't long before Christina had insisted upon returning to work in the warehouse. In truth, she didn't feel up to leaving the house, but it pained her to think that everyone was still worrying about her. She thought that if she returned to work, everyone would assume that she was fine.

        Christina, however, was not fine. She sat behind her desk in her loft-office of the warehouse that Andrei had nearly finished renovating. He was at the point where he'd arranged the work floor to his satisfaction. He had all of his materials and tools arranged almost obsessively in bins and shelves. It seemed insane to Christina that the same person who seemed incapable of keeping his room clean was preternaturally organized when it came to work. It certainly made Christina's job easier to track raw materials in her inventory system.

        While her presence in the warehouse gave Andrei comfort, Christina knew that if he had any idea what she was doing, he would feel anything but comfort. The girl was working as fast as she could to simplify and polish all the tools she'd built for managing Levchenko and Chase. While she'd finished the inventory system, she was still trying to wring the bugs out of her advertising and campaign tracking software. She was doing her best to make the system understandable and as automated as possible so that someone else could take over her work when she left. Perhaps Andrei would never get the hang of the system, but she was confident that Nina or Steph could step in to her role and keep Andrei afloat. It would never be perfect, but she wanted to get things as settled as possible before she was healthy enough to leave.

        Christina rubbed her eyes as she saved her changes and stopped work for the moment. Grabbing the ornately carved horse head cane that was resting against the side of the desk, Christina carefully stood up and went to the railing at the edge of the loft. She looked down, seeing Andrei slicing a wooden plank expertly with a table saw. Sawdust plumes enveloped him on either side, and the noise seemed unbearably loud even from Christina's distance.

        The girl slung her pocketbook over her shoulder and, with the deliberate use of the cane, made her way down the staircase to the work floor below. She went to where Andrei was laboring and reached out to tap him on the shoulder. Deciding that it was a terrible idea to sneak up on her cousin while he was in close proximity to a spinning metal blade, Christina changed her tactics. She was so wary of the Andrei's machinery that she often balled her fingers into fists to protect them, even though she never came anywhere close to danger. She'd considered asking Andrei how he seemed to have no apprehension of the devices, but she was reluctant to even point out that they were dangerous for fear of planting the smallest seed of hesitation in his mind.

        Going around to the other side of the table saw, Christina waved her hand wildly until Andrei took notice.

        Seeing her, he flipped a switch on the bottom of the table and the saw slowly ground to a halt.

        "Hey," Christina said.

        Andrei pulled the clear plastic goggles from his face. Sawdust ejected from his hair like seeds flying free from a dandelion in the breeze. "What's up?" he asked.

        Still a bit wary of the fearsome teeth on the circular blade, Christina went to her cousin, saying, "I'm gonna go to the grocery store and get some cold cuts for lunch. What kind of sandwich would you like?"

        Andrei shrugged, "Any kind is good. Honestly I'm not that hungry. I'd rather just work through lunch."

        "No," Christina corrected with a grin. "You've been working since six in the morning and you didn't have breakfast. You're going to take a lunch break."

        "I really don't-" he started, though he stopped when he saw Christina's pout.

        "I want you to have lunch with me." Christina insisted.

        "Alright," he surrendered.

        "Okay," Christina smiled. "Come here," she added as she opened her arms. She gave Andrei a hug, paying no attention to the sawdust that fell from his shoulders covering the top of her peasant blouse.

        "What is this for?" Andrei asked as Christina held him.

        Letting him go, Christina explained, "Cause you're my guy, and I can hug you whenever I feel like it."

        "Um ... sure," he said as he turned his attention back to the table.

        Since he was about to start the saw back up, Christina made her way to the door, calling, "I'll be back soon." The clank of the cane made for a strange cadence imposed upon the click-clack of Christina's heels on the hard warehouse floor. The echoing staccato taps were soon drowned out by the whirl of the saw blade as the girl went out the front door. As soon as Christina had left the building, she slid her hand down the cane, gripping in the in the middle. She continued down the sidewalk, cane in hand with little discomfort. Christina had been walking on her own without the need of any support for the last few days, though she knew that Andrei derived comfort from her using the cane he'd made for her. She wasn't ready to take that away, and she was making every effort to tend to his feelings.

        It was the end of the summer, which was one of the best times on the mountain. The air was still warm enough that no one needed to wear a coat and there were still a few weeks of life left in the world before the chill set in and all the trees that weren't evergreens started to lose their leaves. To Christina, it felt as though she were walking through an insubstantial world of dust. While everyone else in town was holding on to the last vibrant breath of summer, Christina felt the onset of fall on every inch of her skin. She could tell that the world was growing cold.

        "Hey Ryan," Christina called with a forced smile to a boy that was carrying a bag of Chinese food back to Arnold's Electronics store. The boy smiled and waved back as Christina made her way through town.

        She started past Ariel Rose as she got closer to the grocery. She saw Abby in the open front door collecting her mail from the mailman.

        "Hey, Sugar," Abby called.

        Mr. Stevens added, "Good morning, Christina."

        "Hey," she called back.

        Holding his hand to the sack full of envelopes that rested against his side to mimic the girl's wound, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

        Christina made an OK sign with her thumb and forefinger as she went past them, "Feeling one hundred percent," she assured them. "Be sure to let everyone know!"

        "Oh, you don't need the postal service for that," Mr. Stevens joked, "I'm sure Abby will get the word out."

        Abby gave the man a glare and a small smack against his chest as she took her mail and retreated into the store.

        No one else could sense that things were ending but her. In a way, she found that comforting. Life in Oak Grove continued, and it would continue just fine after she was gone.

        Christina opened the repaired screen door of the grocery store and went in, causing the bell mounted above it to ring.

        Alek, who was running things himself in Christina's absence, looked up from behind the counter. "Christina," he said warmly. He was checking out Doctor Stone who was purchasing some fruit and a cola that was in an old fashioned glass bottle. The man looked thin, and there was some distance between the waistband of his pants and his body. If it weren't for the large black suspenders, they likely would have fallen to the floor. He raised a handkerchief to his mouth and coughed before wiping his bushy white beard.

         "Hi Uncle Alek," Christina answered as she went behind the counter to bag Doctor Stone's purchases.

        "Quite a spot a' luck that you showed up," Doctor Stone said to Christina as she placed the bag of groceries on the counter. "It'll save me a trip across town."

        "Why's that?" Christina asked.

        "Checkup," The man explained tersely. "You're the last one on my list for the day."

        "Doctor Stone," Christina dismissed, "I think I'm fine. I don't want to bother you."

        "Little lady," Doctor Stone insisted as he ignored his groceries and picked up the ancient leather doctor's bag that was resting on the counter, "it's not a bother, it's my job, and seeing as I'm not fixed to retire any time soon, I'd prefer it if you let me do it."

        "Of course doctor," Alek answered for his niece. "Tina, take Doctor Stone into the back."

        "Yes sir," Christina said as she leaned her cane against the wall and went around to the other side of the counter to meet her doctor.

        Doctor Stone took his own cane in hand, and unlike Christina, he seemed to require the device to allow him to follow the young girl in to the back room.

        Looking around the small warehouse, Christina saw some wooden crates containing laundry detergent and led Doctor Stone to them.

        "Have a seat," Doctor Stone instructed, and Christina complied. He placed his bag next to the girl and opened it up. Retrieving a stethoscope from his bag, he inserted the ends into his ears. He placed the other end just inside the neck of Christina's blouse and listened. He made a motion with his hands at the base of his waist and said, "Pull up your shirt a bit, Pumpkin."

        Complying, Christina edged up the bottom of her peasant blouse until her abdomen was visible.

        As Christina performed this, Doctor Stone cocked his head abruptly to the right as though there was something he was trying to see that was just on the edge of his vision.

        "Okay," Christina said to get the man's attention as she held the edge of her blouse up.

        Again focusing on his patient, Doctor Stone placed the cold metal disc of the stethoscope against Christina's tummy and listened. Satisfied, he placed the implement back into his bag then gently felt around the location where Christina's incision had been made. "Any pain?" he asked.

        "No sir," Christina answered as the man continued his inspection.

        "I'm afraid you're gonna be left with a scar," he informed the girl.

        "That's okay," Christina acknowledged. "I guess I'm lucky to be alive."

        Doctor Stone again cocked his head to look over his shoulder as though he'd seen something moving.

        "Lucky," the man repeated as he searched the stockroom. He took Christina's hands in his and flipped them palms up, then down, as he inspected her arms. "It seems there ain't any scarrin' from your spill through that table," he pronounced. Releasing the girl's hands he looked her in the eyes. He asked, "How have you been feelin'?"

         Christina answered, "I guess I'm okay."

        "No panic attacks?"

        "No sir," Christina responded truthfully.

        Doctor Stone retrieved a small notebook and a pen from his bag and jotted down some notes. When he was done, he returned the items then tapped his abdomen with his right hand. "You had a very close call little lady," he said. "It's a good thing we found you. You could'a been in real trouble with you working all alone that day." Doctor Stone froze in place as his gaze drifted just beyond Christina's left shoulder. He looked somewhat shocked, but not frightened.

        Christina instinctively looked over her shoulder, seeing only shelves full of canned tomato sauce and other foodstuffs. She looked back at the old man and their eyes met.

        "... But," he started gravely, "You're never really alone ... are you."

        Christina felt a cold chill work it's way slowly down her spine. "I don't think I am," she whispered.

        "You can get down," the man said eventually, breaking the tension.

        Christina hopped up from the crate and handed Doctor Stone his bag.

        "You're going to be just fine," the old man proclaimed. He started towards the front of the store and Christina walked beside him. "Just fine," he repeated. "You were the last one on my list. Every single soul is in good health," the man explained. He and Christina entered the front of the store. Alek continued helping a customer while Christina escorted her physician to the door. "First time in ... well, I can't remember a day when everyone on my list was well."

        "Hold on," Christina insisted as she rushed to the counter to fetch Doctor Stone's bag. "Don't forget your groceries," she said as helped him grip both the plastic bag containing his few purchases and the handle of his doctor's bag. "Is there anything I can get for you before you go?"

        Doctor Stone pursed his lips and shook his head. "No," he said wistfully. "I think I'm done."

        Christina held open the door as Doctor Stone placed his cane in front of him and stepped out.

        The bags dangling from his right hand felt heavier than usual, and he seemed to put more of his weight on the cane. He went down the sidewalk and around the corner of the brick building onto Main Street. He saw people coming and going taking no notice of the giant snowcapped mountain that loomed in the background. He was so engrossed in his day that Doctor Stone had failed to notice it earlier, but it seemed strange to him now that people didn't feel compelled to stop what they were doing and notice its majesty.

        Feeling a bit winded, Doctor Stone positioned himself in front of a wooden bench in front of a storefront. He deliberately turned his back to the bench and with the support of his cane, slowly lowered himself down. He arranged his bags next to him and took out the bottle of soda. He didn't open it, he just held it in his hand and watched the clouds drift through crystal blue sky.

        And then the man simply stopped.

 

        Doctor Stone's funeral was held later that week. Christina found herself seated in church in the family's usual pew. She was sandwiched between Andrei and Nina on either side; it seemed as though there were more people in the row than on a usual Sunday.

        "Doctor Albert Stone," the minister said from behind his pulpit, "had no children. He and his wife Eunice never had a family larger than just the two of them, but looking at all the faces present today, I'd say that his family was larger than any one man could ever hope for."

        It was true, Christina thought. It looked like the entire town had turned out. Every space in every pew was filled, and it looked as though there were so many people standing in the back that their ranks spilled over into the entranceway. She sat in a black dress, holding Nina's hand, with her face pointed at the floor. She felt as though it was disrespectful to not follow the minister's eulogy, but Christina could not stop crying. She was only one of many people in the room with sad faces and tear filled eyes.

        Christina had thought that after her father's death that she had earned some sort of bullet proof vest when it came to grief. After all, how many people had to suffer through losing their father when they were so young? She'd already confronted death and somehow come out the other side a whole person. She was learning that getting over one death did very little to prepare you for the death of another loved one.

        Christina Chase had loved Doctor Stone, though she didn't realize how much until after he was gone. The man was her doctor; it was his job to look after her. However, he did more than just care for her, he cared about her. He was one of the first kind faces she'd met when she had came to Oak Grove. He held her hand and calmed her down when she'd had the worst panic attack of her entire life. Doctor Stone had danced with her on New Year's Eve.

        She thought back to her old life in the city. She spent well over eight hours a day working in her cubicle for Mr. Patel. She did bits of coding for Jim and Dilip and the other programmers. She used to see her Handi-Mart coworker Bill every morning when she got off of the night shift. If any one of them had died she would have felt sad, but she wouldn't be anywhere near the devastation she felt at losing Doctor Stone.

        The thought of losing Andrei or Nina terrified her. Or Steph or Lisa. She couldn't fathom losing her aunt or uncle. The truth was she would be crushed if anyone in Oak Grove died. How could she ever shop for clothes again if Abby had died? Or Mr. Stevens? She would never be able to check the mailbox ever again.

        In the city, Christina barely knew the people she lived next to. She knew, in the abstract, that someone delivered the mail, picked up the trash, and drove the trains, but they weren't real to her. Being part of an actual community made her feel like she belonged, but it also meant that every time that community shrank, it would feel like losing a part of herself. She knew she would never see Doctor Stone's kind weathered face again. She was probably the last person that spoke to him before he died, and she couldn't even remember if she had thanked him for being so good to her.

        After the minister and several other people had finished their speeches, six men, the pallbearers, went to the front of the church and stood by the casket. Both Alek and Andrei, being two of the larger men in town, were recruited for the position before the ceremony. The men lifted the casket as high as their waists and slowly carried it out of the church. The people in the back of the church left first, followed by the members of the congregation in the pews, who followed behind the procession. The crowd followed the casket out of the building and into the cemetery, which was in the field adjacent to the church.

        Christina saw that there was a fresh grave waiting and she watched as the men put the casket down next to it. The minister launched into another speech as the assembly gathered around the grave. Scanning the crowd, Christina saw that Mr. Conrad was standing some distance away on the other side of the graveyard. He was wearing a black overcoat and a Lundberg stetson on his head. It was the best dressed that Christina had ever seen the man. It looked as though he'd been waiting outside for the procession to come to him.

        Not far from where he stood, Christina saw Richard. It seemed that he had joined Mr. Conrad as a sort of town pariah after their breakup. The two locked eyes for a moment, but it seemed as soon as they made that minimal amount of contact, Christina looked at the ground and resumed crying.

        The assembly watched as Doctor Stone's casket was lowered into the ground. Though the ceremony was drawing to a close, it seemed that no one was in a hurry to leave.

        Nina, who was still holding her older cousin's hand looked as distraught as everyone else. She asked Christina, "What do you think happens to us when we die?"

        "Oh Nina," Christina whispered as she sniffed. "If I told you what I really thought, you'd think I was insane."

        Andrei, returning from his pallbearer duties, touched Nina on the shoulder then hugged Steph who was waiting a few feet from the girls. "You okay?" he said to his girlfriend.

        "Yeah," Steph answered. "It just sucks. I mean, dying sucks." It wasn't the most elegant sentiment, but it was sincere.

        "Hey," he said, "I'll be right back, okay?" Steph nodded as Andrei left the main group and started towards the other side of the cemetery.

        As he approached, Andrei saw that Mr. Conrad looked completely stricken. While there wasn't a dry face in the crowd, Mr. Conrad's eyes were especially red and puffy and he was shaking a bit. "Hey, Conrad," Andrei called as he went to his former employer and stood beside him.

        "It ain't right," he spat. "It ain't right at all!"

        Andrei asked, "What's not right Conrad?"

        "It's not the growin' old I mind," he fumed. "It ain't that! But bein' the last one - bein' the one who has to shut off the lights on the way out, that I resent." Explaining things seemed to make Mr. Conrad even more upset. He snatched the hat from his head and threw it angrily on the ground. "That I resent!"

        Richard, who was not far away, took notice of the old man's distress. He felt as though he should say something, but clearly Mr. Conrad needed to vent, not converse.

        "Damn you Albert," he cursed. "First you took Eunice, and now you leave me behind!"

        It dawned on Andrei that Mr. Conrad was not only the oldest man in town, but he was the last of his generation left alive.

        "Andrei, you got to listen to me," the man insisted.

        "Sure Conrad," Andrei responded as he put his large hand on his friend's shoulder. "I always listen to your advice."

        "No," he fumed as he knocked Andrei's hand away. "Ferget everything I told you! It's all wrong! I'm all wrong! Nothin' I ever told you is worth a damn." He took a moment to catch his breath, then pressed, "Do you love that girl of yours?"

        "Steph?" Andrei asked. "Of course I do."

        "Then you don't let her go. I made that mistake. I didn't understand ... Sometimes you have to care about someone more than you care about yerself." He raised his fist towards the grave and spat, "Damn you Albert!" He held that pose for a moment and his shoulders sunk. "He was a better man than me Andrei," he sulked. "Eunice made the right choice. He was good to her. I can't hold a grudge for that."

        "It's alright Conrad," Andrei consoled.

        Shaking his head, the man muttered, "It's not alright. Sometimes there ain't no second chances. You don't want to end up like me, Andrei. Don't end up like me."

        Andrei bent down and picked up Mr. Conrad's hat. He brushed off the dirt and handed it to the old man. "Come on," Andrei said. "Let's get out of here." He draped his large arm around Mr. Conrad's shoulders and led him towards the church parking lot.

        Richard, who had witnessed the entire episode watched the two men leave. Looking across the graveyard, he saw a tall blonde girl in a black dress with the saddest look he'd ever seen. He started towards the group when Christina and Nina turned and headed back towards the church with the rest of the crowd. Perhaps, Richard thought, Mr. Conrad was correct. Sometimes there weren't any second chances.

 

        Christina worked for the next few weeks to get her affairs in order. She had healed to the point where she felt it would be possible to leave, and she'd come to the emotional conclusion that if she didn't leave soon, she'd never have the nerve.

        Having polished her software to the point that non-technical people might be able to understand it, she moved on to other concerns. She added Andrei's name to her cell phone service account. She'd have to abandon her phone, but that was no reason to cause problems for her cousins. She wrote a letter to Andrei that she left in her office desk drawer. It wasn't an apology or an explanation, but it did have all the passwords and account numbers that Andrei would need to pick up the pieces after she disappeared. While she was sure that Andrei wouldn't know what to do with that information, she was confident that Nina could figure it all out.

        Christina had considered leaving a note for Nina that explained why she was leaving, but she couldn't figure out what to write. She couldn't tell her cousin the truth, and she couldn't think of a single credible lie that would justify leaving her younger cousin. The only option was to just go. Nina would be hurt, but in time she would recover.

        Christina did her best to avoid her aunt. She was certain that Misha would somehow figure out her plan given half a chance. Between working at the warehouse and spending time after work with her uncle at the grocery, Christina was able to spend as much time as she could manage out of the house. She made a commitment to leave that Saturday. Somehow, picking an actual day made it feel real. It made it more likely that she'd go through with the plan.

 

        Even though Christina found there was always one more thread of her life in Oak Grove to get in order before she could leave, she eventually ran out of time. The day had finally come, and Christina knew that she needed to go. She didn't want to abandon her family, but she couldn't continue living as she had been. All it had taken was a simple slip up with a driver's license for Richard to find out about her past. Also, she had come precariously close to being discovered due to her appendicitis. It was a miracle that her secret had been kept while she was in the hospital. The situation, however, was untenable. At some point something would happen or she would make some mistake, and that meant she had to leave before that happened. It was better for people to have loved her as she was, she reasoned, even if that meant it had to be in their memories.

        Lying awake in her bed, Christina listened as thunder boomed outside her window. She heard the assault of a thousand tiny needles of water as they collided with the side of the house. It was just her luck; the noise would give her cover to make her escape unnoticed. She waited until one in the morning before getting up.

        Boris, who had been napping on Christina's bed, woke instantly when he felt the mattress shifting beneath him. He watched the girl in the plain green nightshirt as she ruffled through her belongings.

        Christina took a small duffel bag from her closet and surveyed her clothes. She hadn't dared pack anything until now for fear that Misha would have noticed. Surveying the closet, she wasn't sure what to pack. While her plan included tying up as many loose ends as she could, it didn't cover where she was going or who she was going to dress as when she got there. Deciding that she didn't want to leave any incriminating evidence, she fished out her shoebox of breast form supplies from the closet and packed them in her duffel. She then took out her favorite jeans, a camisole, and a red knit top with a v-neck and placed them on the bed rather than into her bag. She retrieved a bra and a pair of satin panties from her chest of drawers and deposited them next to her other clothes. That would be her getaway outfit. Beyond that, she wasn't sure what to take with her.

        Sighing, she ignored her packing and went to the bathroom. Learning long ago that the large German Shepherd who was following her was not to be denied, she held the door open for him so he could join her. Pulling her cotton panties down, Christina sat on the toilet to relieve herself. She stared at the dog while she did her business. He was the only person in the world that really understood what she was going through. He had even saved her life. It was fitting that he would be the only one that would know what really happened to Christina Chase.

        After finishing her business, Christina flushed the toilet, wiped herself, then pulled her panties back up around her bottom. She opened the door, and Boris was eager to enter the hallway before her. A tingle on the back of Christina's neck caused her to pause. She caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror out of the corner of her eye. Turning, she faced herself and looked into the pair of green-gray eyes that stared back at her. The girl felt a chill as she could not shake the feeling that the eyes looking back at her were not her own. She let out a slow exhale, and her breath formed a mist on the face of the mirror.

        Looking to her side, she saw the large German Shepherd. He was sitting in the hallway, looking directly at her.

        "It's okay," she said to the dog. "It's about time we had a talk." Christina left the bathroom and followed the dog back to her bedroom. Shutting the door behind her, Christina went to the chest of drawers and picked up the picture of Anastasia that sat in the gilded metal frame. Christina sat on the edge of her bed and held the picture in both of her hands, looking directly into the face that looked so much like hers.

        "Hey," she said to the girl in the picture. "I know I'm not the smartest person in the world, but eventually even I get it. I don't know why you chose me, but I think I did all the things you needed me to. Your mom isn't sad anymore. I know your family was breaking apart, but they're good now. And Aunt Misha is happy. Nina is going to go to college and have all the opportunities you never got to have. When it's time for her to go, she'll have the money. I dunno what she's gonna do with her life, but she's gonna be somebody really important, and nothing is going to get in the way of that. And your brother is doing what he was always meant to do. Steph loves him, I mean, she loves him so much, and Andrei's going to be a success. I know it. And he doesn't blame himself for what happened to you anymore."

        "And your Dad," Christina said as her voice cracked. "He always loved you and he knows you loved him too, no matter what you said to him. I know that sometimes he can be difficult, and I know he pushed his memories of you away, but it's because it's so easy to break his heart. He looks like such a big guy, but it's so easy to break his heart. It's not broken anymore; I promise. He never forgot about you."

        "And the thing is," Christina continued, "You don't have to worry about them. They're going to be fine. They don't need us anymore. I know I probably didn't do things the way you would have, but I did the best I could. I don't know why you chose me," Christina repeated, "But thank you. Thank you for saving my life, and thank you for sharing them with me. If I were you, I wouldn't want to leave them either. But, at some point, we can't stay somewhere when there's not a place for us anymore. We shouldn't ... linger. You need to move on, and you need to let me go this time. I know you're the one who brought me back here, but you have to let me make my own decisions now."

        Christina got up and walked slowly back to the chest of drawers, with Boris watching every step. She placed the frame back on the chest then looked at the dog. "I wish I could have met her," she said to the German Shepherd. An eerie sense of calm came over Christina as she returned to her closet. Surveying the clothes, she decided that none of them mattered. She stripped out of her night shirt and panties, and placed them into the duffel bag. She then got dressed in the clothes that she'd laid out on her bed.

        The sounds of the storm picked up as Christina went to her nightstand. She opened the jewelry box that Andrei had given her at Christmas and took out her silver cross necklace. Leaning her head to the side to divert her long blonde hair from her neck, Christina fastened the chain. There was no way she could bear to leave that necklace behind. She then took the diamond ring from the box and held it in her hand. A bolt of lighting outside of her window caused the gems to erupt in a hundred tiny sparkles of light. She clutched the ring in between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand and held her left hand in front of it. She positioned her left ring finger at the entry of the band, but did not put it on. A crash of thunder caught up with the bolt of lighting, and Christina lowered her left hand. Reaching behind her neck, Christina unclasped the silver chain and threaded it through the ring so that it hung next to the cross. Leaning over again, she put the necklace back on and tucked it into the v-neck of her top.

        She unplugged her cellphone and started back to her duffle bag. Realizing she wasn't going to need it where she was going, she instead powered off the pink phone. Going back to the nightstand, she opened the single tiny drawer, and deposited the phone inside. She decided that she couldn't afford to leave a trail for anyone to follow.

        Slipping on a pair of sneakers and grabbing her old leather jacket from the closet, Christina Chase sneaked out of her bedroom and made her way quietly down the stairs into the living room. She heard the ticking of the antique clock on the wall as she crept through the living room with Boris in tow.

        Sneaking into the dark kitchen, Christina looked over her shoulder to see if anyone had stirred in the master bedroom down the hall. Seeing that she did not wake her aunt and uncle, she proceeded. She stopped when a dim light filled the room as the refrigerator door opened. A large outline blocked a portion the light.

        Another bolt of lighting flashed in the background. It lit up the entire kitchen for an instant. In the flash, Andrei saw Christina's face. It looked pale and colorless, as though she were a ghost. "What are you doing?" he asked as he put a bottle of milk back into the refrigerator.

        "Hey," Christina said guiltily as she held her duffle bag behind her back. "What are you doing up so late?" she asked.

        "I was just ... " he started, but then changed course. "What are you doing up so late. And where are you going?"

        "Andrei," Christina consoled as she approached her older cousin. "I'm ..." There was no easy way to say it. "I have to go."

        He looked genuinely confused. "Go where?"

        "Andrei," Christina said as she frowned. "I'm leaving."

        "Leaving?" he repeated. It took him a moment to understand that Christina meant she was leaving home. "I don't understand," he said sadly. "Why would you leave?"

        "I just have to. I have to go. I don't belong here."

        "I don't want you to go," he insisted.

        "I know," Christina responded, "but I have to."

        "I'm not going to let you," he countered.

        "Andrei," Christina said sadly. "I know you don't want me to go but you have to let me. I'm asking you to let me go. If you don't let me leave tonight, I'll just go some other time."

        "Why?" he demanded weakly.

        "Because ... " Christina struggled. "Because I'm not who you think I am."

        Andrei pleaded, "Who are you?"

        Christina let out a long sorrowful exhale. "I think ... maybe I'm supposed to be your sister." She put her hand on the back of Andrei's neck and pulled his face down to hers. She kissed him on his cheek then said, "I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss all of you."

        Andrei hung his head next to Christina's, unable to look her in the eyes.

        Seizing the opportunity, Christina gave Boris a final scratch on the head and went to the side door.

        "You know we'll look for you," Andrei moaned.

        "I know," she admitted. "But there won't be anywhere you can look that you'll find me." Christina turned her head away as a tear escaped down the side of her face, and then she stepped into the torrent of rain waiting on the other side of the door. Running, not because she feared Andrei would chase her, but more that she wouldn't have the nerve to keep going if she slowed down, Christina got into her old Saab and started the engine. Her body shook as she forced herself not to cry, and even though she could barely see as waves of water assaulted her windshield, she drove the car down the long gravel driveway and into the darkness.

 

---

 

Edited into coherence by Holly H. Hart.

Thanks to Sephrena Miller for taking an early read.