The Dance Coach - Chapter 1

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Chapter 1
The Volunteer

“Just in case you have not looked at the kitchen calendar John, I am off out this afternoon to the WI meeting. It’s not on the calendar but are you going to your Morris team practice tonight?” Kathy Irwin asked her husband as she grabbed her coat and bag before setting off.

“Not tonight, they’re practicing for a meet at the weekend and I’m not part of the routine.”

“Not again, they’re always doing that to you, you are one of the longest serving and most experienced members but they are always leaving you out of the team for one reason or another when they have shows or events, I don’t know why you bother. What excuse have they given you this time?”

“For a change this time they are doing a rapper routine, you know the ones where they all have sword-like blades and as they dance they intertwine the blades to make various patterns. Unfortunately I am a lot shorter than the others and I am unable to reach as high as them to complete the pattern.”

“That sounds like a poor excuse to me, I’m sure that they could fit you in if they really wanted to. Anyway, it will mean a quiet cosy night in for the two of us, I’ll see you later.”

For the rest of the afternoon John got on with completing his proposals for the interior design refurbishment of a large country house just outside their home village of Mayfield in rural Cheshire. It was fortunate that the area was very much an upmarket retreat for many of the wealthy businessmen and sportsmen that wanted to escape the urban sprawl of nearby Manchester where many of them made their money, and picked up trophy wives that were only too keen to help them spend it.

There was enough business to allow him to work as a one-man-band locally from home, which he actually preferred as he was not a great social mixer with people, which was one of the reasons Kathy had encouraged him to join the Mayfield Morrismen to try to bring him out from his shell. However after the dance practice sessions there normally followed a long session in the local pub which did not really appeal to John and he usually ducked out, which was one of the reasons he was often overlooked as he was always thought of as an outsider to the main team of dancers.

When Kathy returned home later she was quite chirpy but deep in thought, but later over dinner, she raised the subject that was on her mind.

“I was talking to some of the girls during the meeting and the conversation got round to Morris dancing and the fact that their husbands seemed to spend more time with the Morris team at practice and in the pub than with their families. Laura suggested that it would be good if some of us joined the Morris team to become more involved in their interests, what do you think?”

“No chance ! There are some mixed teams but most prefer to be traditional and all male and the Mayfield Morrismen is one of those groups, it would send shivers down their spines to let any women join. If you really want to be involved with Morris it would be better if you set up your own women’s team.”

“That’s what I thought you would say. So, how do we go about setting up our own team, we would like to keep it local rather than travel elsewhere to an established group?”

”To start with you need a coach, someone to teach you the routines and lead you in practice, unless any of the girls already have some experience.”

“Laura and Mel have experience of contemporary dancing and were both aspiring professional theatrical dancers until they gave it up to have their families and would quite like to get back into it, Morris might be a gentle reintroduction for them and help get them fit and lissome again. A few of the others think it’s a good excuse to get out together as a group, but nobody has any background of Morris. Do you know anyone we could ask to train us up?”

“Not really the men’s and women’s teams tend to keep to themselves and other than at meets they don’t really socialise together. In fact many of the men’s teams think that women should not be involved at all in Morris and should find their own interest, so I don’t really know anyone to help, but I could give you a list of nearby teams if you want to contact them.”

“As I already said we would prefer to form our own team from the village and immediate area. I was thinking that you might be able to give us a helping hand to start us off, you’ve been involved for years and know all the traditional routines. I’ve sort of already volunteered for you to talk to us, teach us the basics and see what can be done.”

“I don’t want to say no, but if I was to help you set it all up, it would not go down well with the Mayfield Morrismen, they can be very anti-women where Morris is concerned, it wouldn’t surprise me if they threw me off the team.”

“So what, you don’t fit in with them socially and they see you as a bit of a fringe member and often freeze you out, what would you lose?”

“Give me a couple of days to get some ideas together, and then get your friends to come round one evening and we’ll have a chat about it, but I’m not promising anything, ok?”

A few days later Kathy got together seven of her friends at our house for me to give them a talk

“ Ok Ladies, to start with let’s keep this between ourselves, please don’t tell your menfolk, those that are on the Morrismen team are mostly against women being involved. You’re actually the right number, most teams are six or eight dancers. I’ve pulled together a few videos of some routines mainly involving ladies’ teams so you can see the various routines and how difficult they are and what you can expect to have to learn. I’ll talk over the videos as they play and explain things as they go along, and we can talk about it afterwards.”

“Ok Ladies, after seeing that what do you think, are you still interested?”

“Sounds good to me,” replied Laura, “but I have a question. Do we have to stick purely to traditional routines or can we liven it up with a bit of contemporary stuff?”

“If you want to enter the few competitions you need to stay traditional, but if you are doing it for your own enjoyment and for local fêtes and shows you can really add your own interpretations. Have you got something in mind?”

“I don’t know if Kathy mentioned it to you but Mel and I were show dancers doing mainly contemporary routines, we are all mainly quite young and fit, adding a few gymnastic moves might just freshen it up a little.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe some basic gymnastic routines, a bit like cheerleaders, lifts and leaps, that sort of thing.”

“If that’s what you want to do, I’ll go along with that, I can teach you the traditional stuff but I’ll leave it to Mel and you to bring in the variations.”

“Does that mean that you will act as our coach? Is that allowed or do female teams have to be all female including the coach?”

“I don’t see why not, I am prepared to give it a go if you all are prepared to work with me.”

“What about your involvement with the Morrismen, will they be ok with you doing this? Kathy questioned.

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them, and if they do find out I’ll learn to live with it. Do any of you play musical instruments, preferably a squeeze-box, accordion, fiddle, or even a penny-whistle, it is always better if there is some live top-up to recorded music?”

“I haven’t played for a while but I learned classical violin, however I always preferred the more lively fiddle music, I’ll start practising again,”Jan quickly volunteered, followed by Tina, “I’ll dig out my flute and see if I get get the knack back.”

“Ok, can someone book the village hall for an evening practice session.“

A week later John and Kathy arrived at the village hall to find it had been booked by ‘The ‘Morrisettes Ladies fitness and dance class ‘and thinking they had got the dates wrong were about to go back home, when Mel ran out to get them,

“I didn’t want the men to find out what we were doing so I picked a booking name that they wouldn’t be interested in, come on in and you can get us started.”

“Ok Ladies, let me show you the basic steps, then you can do it slowly with me and the try again to music.”

“There you are Ladies do you think that you can manage that?”

“Just a minute John. Firstly can you stop calling us ‘Ladies”’, I think we would all prefer ‘girls’, it makes us feel younger, you are one of the group now and that is how we refer to each other.” Laura interrupted. “Secondly with those baggy trousers you have on it’s difficult to see some of your leg movements clearly. Can you not put on leggings like most of us are wearing and you will be easier to follow. When we were dancing on shows most of the male dancers wore them at rehearsals .I have a spare pair here that should fit you if you are willing to give it a go, and you will be better off wearing a loose top when we have warmed up.”

John left to change into the more suitable dance clothes, and went back into the main hall where he was welcomed with a chorus of giggles despite feeling self-conscious embarrassed and a bit uncomfortable. As he led them through the basic steps he realised that he was about the same size as most of the group and in the outfit Laura had loaned him he looked almost as if he was just another one of the girls.

After that the session went well and the girls soon picked up the basic routines from him, and all were still enthusiastic agreeing to meet again in two days time. As the hall had been booked as the “Ladies fitness Class’, Laura and Mel finished the session with some general aerobic exercises and fitness movements with John joining the main group of girls following the lead from Mel and Laura.

“Hang on Kathy, I’ll get changed before we leave.”

“Why bother, you’ll need a shower after that, just go home as you are. Nobody will see you wearing leggings and a girl’s top and even if they did, they would just think you are one of the girls at the fitness class.”

Two days later John and Kathy were getting ready for the next training session. “John, why bother having to get changed at the hall, just put on your leggings and top that you wore last time, I washed them to give them back to Laura so they are nice and fresh. Also, last time your collar-length hair ended up all over the place and a mess with all the jumping around doing the aerobics, that’s why most of us used scrunchies or bands to keep our hair in place, let me brush yours back and tie it in place.”

“Its fine in the hall but I will feel a bit embarrassed arriving there dressed like that.”

“Look, what’s to worry about, the other girls have already seen you in the outfit and they’ll realise why you have your hair tied back, you are in with a group of girls, I’m sure that nobody will think anything about it.”

“Ok, if you think it’s best but any catty remarks and I am leaving.”

“One final thing, with that top and the wooly jumper you are wearing over the leggings, you haven’t any pockets for your keys and money and other essentials, let me get you one of my shoulder bags carry things in.”

“I suppose I don’t have any choice, do I? Let’s hope none of the Morrismen see me as we walk down to the hall.”

John warily entered the village hall to start the training session, worried as to how he would be received. However. Kathy proved to be correct, none of the girls made any remarks about the way he was dressed or when he hung up his bag along with his wooly jumper and after a bit of chat they started the training session . Having mastered the various basic steps they then started on some of the simpler routines and dances. Rather than being a fringe member of the Morrismen John found that he felt comfortable in the company of the girls and soon relaxed, began to be at ease with them and really enjoyed himself.

At the end of the session. Jan and Tina came over to talk to John as they were about to leave.
“We’ve been practising with our instruments and have picked up the knack again, can you give us an idea of some of the tunes we need to learn? We are going for a drink to talk about it, can you and Kathy join us for a while?”

“I’m not really dressed to go anywhere, I didn’t bring a change of clothes with me.”

“You’ll be fine as you are, we are all in leggings with chunky jumpers, you just look like one of us, particularly with your hair tied back like that, nobody will recognise you, particularly if you put on a bit of lippy.”

“Why not John, there’s some lipstick and mascara in your bag, I didn’t bother to clear it out, It’ll only take a minute to fix you up.” Kathy joined in.

“Ok, but I.m not going to the pub in the village, we need to go over to the Plough in Maydon, nobody knows me there.”

They had a pleasant drink in there, John joined the other girls in a glass of wine as they chatted about the music. “Could I get you another drink girls.you all look dressed as if you have been to a fitness class you could probably do with another drink?” asked the barmaid when she came over to collect the empty glasses.

“We’re just off to the loo, can you sort it out please J..ayne?’ Laura cheerily asked as the three of them left John sitting at the table.

“You’re right we are part of a dance team just starting up in Mayfield, The Morrisettes, and are just planning what we will do next. Another glass of the same each please.” John replied trying hard to mimic the way the girls spoke.

“It’s cheaper by the bottle rather than four glasses, do you want to just do that?”

“That’s fine, do you want me to pay now, I’ll dig my wa___ purse out of my bag”

“No you’ll be fine Jayne, when you leave will be ok.”

The girls came back just as Amy the barmaid was leaving. “All sorted girls, Jayne has ordered another bottle for you.”

“Well done Jayne, we told you that you would be seen as just another girl, just relax and live in the moment. You actually sounded quite girly too, a bit breathy and husky, but still believable. Keep this up and we’ll have you wearing a skirt next time.” Tina joked causing giggles from the others, bringing an embarrassed blush to John's cheeks.

It was left to John to go to the bar to pay for their drinks and as he fished in his bag for his wallet and credit card he suddenly couldn’t remember whether his full name was shown or just his initial, but luckily it just said ‘J Irwin’ not ‘John’. and Amy accepted it without question. “Thanks Jayne I hope to see you girls in here again, it makes a change from the blokes that are our usual customers.”

“John that is the most relaxed that I have seen you in company for ages, you really fitted in as one of the girls tonight.” Kathy teased as they lay in bed later.

“Ok, but let me prove that it was just an act and really it is John in here with you.”

The more time John spent with the girls in the dance team, the more he identified with them rather than with the Morrismen and finding the time to be involved with both was becoming more.difficult. Eventually he decided that he would leave the Morrismen as he knew that he would not really be missed as he was never one of the social group in the team. That proved to be the case, nobody really tried to coax him into staying, and once he left none of them kept in touch, whereas the girls welcomed him with open arms.

He soon found that spending so much time in the company of the girls, and none with any males, that he had unconsciously begun to adopt their ways of talking and expressing themselves and at their after-training pub visits he was usually just accepted as another one of the girls just fitting in with the group and chatting away along with the others.

One day he got caught in a heavy rain shower, once in the house he threw off his soaked clothes into the dryer before remembering that most of his casual clothes were already in the wash. He was now so used to the leggings and the girls’ vest tops that he wore for the dance sessions that he thought nothing of digging into the laundry basket to get them out along with one of Kathy’s woolen jumpers and wearing them around the house until his stuff was ready again. He brushed out his hair to let it dry, just leaving it hanging loose to his collar at the back and down over his cheeks .

John was just finishing one of his designs, when he was surprised to receive a call from a number he did not recognise, and assumed it was a potential new client. “Good afternoon Irwin Interiors how can I help you.” He politely answered.

“I’m looking for a designer to look at the house I have recently bought in Alderney Edge to see what can be done to freshen it up. I don’t need any major changes to the structure or layout, just bringing the fixtures and fittings up-to-date and brightening it all up, is that something you would be interested in?”

“That’s exactly how we work. Obviously I realise that you will have some ideas your own that I can work around with some of the current trends in finishes and styles. When would be convenient to meet?”

“I’ve get some salon appointments tomorrow, and I’m sure that you know how long that can take, it’s so demanding what we girls have to suffer for our beauty, and I am at the spa the day after. I’m having some of my some of my girl friends around for drinks in the afternoon the next day. Could you come round in the morning to have a look around, show me some examples of your previous projects and give me your initial thoughts? If we decide we can work with each other maybe you could stay to join us, you never know some of them might be interested in your work, after all, us girls have to stick together.”

John suddenly realised that he was on a video call and he was obviously being mistaken for a woman. looking as he did with his loose shoulder-length hair and feminine wooly jumper and the speech mannerisms that were now becoming his normal voice. He became flustered wondering whether to correct this misunderstanding but decided to buy some time by just letting it go.

“That sounds fine, please give me you name and address and I’ll see you about 10:00 if that’s alright with you. I’m Jayne Irwin by the way.”, he said digging himself into a hole.

“Amanda Barclay, I’ll email you my address, I look forward to meeting you on Thursday Jayne.”

To be continued.

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Comments

As You Say

joannebarbarella's picture

Digging a hole! First step down the slippery slope. Maybe more work will come 'Jayne's' way!

Exactly my thoughts

Keep on digging that hole. Better make it really deep because those male Morris dancers will want to bury you in it when they find out what you are doing.
Samantha

The Morris men

'Jayne" needs to be more careful with the WAGS, dealing with the Morris men should be a lot easier, the more John presents as Jayne, the less the men will even realise who is leading the girl's' team. The problem is how to get out of the hole or is she going to be stuck in the quicksand. Your comment is really appreciated Samantha.

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Gill xx

The question is Joanne, how will Jayne get on .

The question is Joanne, how will 'Jayne' get on with Amanda and the footballers' wives, will 'she' be made welcome or will it all be too much to handle ? Many thanks for your comment.

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Gill xx

Better line up a trip for

the BOTOX then. Seeing a load of Essex 'WAGS' at the match on Saturday (Daggers vs Shots), they were BOTOX'd, and 'filled' up to the top of their heads.
Samantha

WAGS and their style

What you saw were the WAGS from well down the football pyramid, multiply that many times for the Premier League and Championship. It's not true that all WAGS are bleached-blonde big-haired, botox lipped with brazilian bum lifts, killer-heels and skirts 1"below see-level. Some are brunettes, LOL.

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Assimilation

The Morrisettes must have some special powers Jezzi, they certainly metamorphosed John without a lot of resistance.Many thanks for the comment Jezzi.

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Gill xx

Morris Dancers

BarbieLee's picture

Square Dancing, Line Dancing, Waltz, Two Step, and finally a Slow Step I am familiar with. My friend does the Polka so I know about that one. Had to look up Morris Dancers on Youtube. Interesting?
You know I love your style of writing as you always add so much flavor to your stories. Besides being so soft kinda like hugging a cat, when it's an unconscious thing to pet it.
Morris Dancers have a lot of snap movement and precision to the dance. Like the women a lot better than the men. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDW5Ng3xFus
Hugs Miss Chambers thanks for the education
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Morris dancing

is one of the true expressions of English eccentricity and idiosyncrasy. Most 'folk-dancing' looks a bit weird to outsiders, and in that I include line and square dancing, but Morris dancers take it to a different level. I'm glad I have broadened your horizons, we are never too old to learn something new Barb.

i checked out the video you listed and it's not the style I was writing about. if you want to see English eccentrics have a look at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fel5KR-POuA

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Gill xx

Lot of Precision Movements

BarbieLee's picture

I'm impressed they each must remember all the moves and synchronize the whole cadence
Popular in the fifties and sixties, mostly gone now clog dancing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmJj6LZogmsY
Carolyn and I were square dancers. It too has lost it's flavor among most country folk. The first minute of this is the only good part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Aala3u3tE
Hugs Miss Chambers

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Costumes

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

I like their hats.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

Morris hats

Many of the male morris dancers wear gaudily decorated hats with brightly coloured bands of ribbons or flower heads, with some, particularly the team leaders or bagmen adding fancy feather plumes. Overall quite a colourful sight. Thanks for commenting Patricia.

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Gill xx

A fresh start . . .

Emma Anne Tate's picture

Great start, Gillian! I found myself thinking, “could be in Mel’s just-announced contest if it were only a solo!” But I think this story is calling for a slow, sweet assimilation instead!

Emma

Solo contest entry.

Glad you are enjoying the opening chapter Emma and that it could be a contest entry as a solo. I have another story all completed and ready to post when the contest opens to entries.

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Gill xx

US vs British?

As a lifelong folkie I've hung out with many US Morris dancers and found them to be very liberal as to gender, many of them have been mixed gender. Still, it's a nice hook to hang the story on.

Female dancers

In the UK,there are many Morris teams that are mixed gender but there are still a lot of traditionalist teams that consider females as unwelcome invaders,. However that applies in many aspects of life, more's the pity. Your interest and comment are appreciated

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Gill xx

Great fun!

Robertlouis's picture

A great start Gill, and you’ve done your usual due diligence. My wife and I were involved with a mixed Morris side when we lived in Cambridgeshire, through friends that she knew through her choir and I knew through one of the folk clubs that I played at. She danced with them for a couple of years while I played guitar, mandolin and banjo in the band. It was great fun, and wonderful to feel part of the tradition. The free beer was great too!

☠️

Accurate or not?

Many thanks Rob. I hope that I have been reasonably accurate in my portrayal of the world of Morris. Like many activities and clubs, one of the main aspects that keep the groups together is going to the pub afterwards.

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Gill xx

Afterwards?

Robertlouis's picture

I can assure you that fairly regularly, especially in good weather, which provides the necessary excuse, a fair amount of drinking takes place in the increasingly frequent intervals during the performance. This can generate the occasional variation in the usually rock steady beat of the band and also the pace, and stability, of the dancers. It all added to the jollity and hilarity, although the performers were usually much more aware than the audience.

Most performances as I recall would take place either on a village green in front of a pub or in a market square surrounded by pubs, so the common factor was always a pub. I think we’d have refused to play if there wasn’t one!

☠️

Morris Sides

Robertlouis's picture

The Side that my wife danced in was actually mixed. Their signature dance was an intricate one involving wooden swords which concluded with them forming the swords into a shield which one member could then parade around the audience. It was pretty impressive.

We’d play and sing The New St George per The Albion Country Band’s 1973 album for any musicologists out there.

☠️

One of the joys

Lucy Perkins's picture

Of a warm summer's afternoon on a village green in the Peak District was when a Morris Side, there to celebrate the Well Dressing, did that dance where they weave the swords into a shield.
As a small child the skill and precision fascinated me. I can pretty much remember them singing the New St George too, and also "The Derby Ram".
In fact that later tune is stuck in my head now, so I will be "hey ringle rangling" for the rest of the evening!
A really great start to the story, Gill.
Lucy xx

"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."

The Dance Coach

Columbine's picture

Enjoyed the story so far. I agree with the comments about digging oneself out of a hole. Make sure it is a deep one with no escape except leaving ones masculinity behind! One comment is that female Morris dancers are called Cloggies in my neck of the woods, and you haven't commented on the fact that many Morris dancers wear wooden clogs, but it doesn't do much for the floor of the church halls where they practice, but it adds to the spectacle when they dance. Perhaps that was deliberate?

Digging a hole

John/Jayne keeps on digging in the following chapters, but what will be found as he/she gets deeper? Tradtionally many of the Morris teams particularly in the North West wear clogs with wooden soles and Morris is commonly referred to as clog-dancing, the clacking of the clogs on the ground in time to the music adds to the overall spectacle. Thanks for your interest Columbine.

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Gill xx

Rather like the Masons in some ways

Ladies Morris is often not welcome by the men. I think step or Appalachian is more acceptable, but keep away from the English Morris tradition.

In my experience (from 40 years ago, but that is but a moment for Morris) they usually talk about a Morris Side rather than team, but that may be a regional difference. They certainly are a funny lot sometimes.

If you enjoy the group activity

Podracer's picture

Then who cares who you are seen as. I always stop to watch some of the Morris at Shrewsbury Folk in August, quite the range of styles, and I was quite taken by the dark presentation of the Beltane Border Morris.
I await the Morrisettes' first public outing, hope there is fun and sun.

"Reach for the sun."