My wife and I have a rather unique relationship. In fact, I met her after she had already died, and she had meet me after I already died. This was not at the same time, and, yes, we are both alive right now. And, no, it isn’t due to magic (which doesn’t exist) nor some kind of advanced scientific breakthrough.

To put it simply, my wife is a 4 dimensional being primarily traveling the opposite way through space time. Space and time, of course, are intrinsically linked, with time essentially just being the fourth dimension of space. But I’m not a scientist, I’m actually a magician, (yes, I know I said magic doesn’t exist. I just do tricks are parties,) and don’t have the time (or space time) to explain all of this.

And, really, it isn’t that hard to grasp. Basically, my wife just moves the opposite time through space. So my past is her future, and her future is my past.

“Will you remember to get some eggs when you go to the grocery store?” she asks.

“Will I?”

“You will now.”

Really, it’s rather handy. And aliens (I had asked her if this is an accurate term for her, and she just shrugged. She’s not from this planet, or even this plane of existence, so it seems accurate enough.) don’t care about silly things like gender identity. Yes, I’m nonbinary. So is she. Kind of.

Alright. Let’s discuss alien gender for a moment. There are different alien species out there, and all of them reproduce in different ways. Some share similar reproductive methods as those on earth. Others do things you couldn’t even fathom. Like think about when fish breed, they don’t do the dirty, they just release sperm into the water. I mean, that may be simplifying things a bit, maybe. I don’t know. I’m not a scientist. I had a betta fish once.

Anyhow, for my astralwife, Kiki, a nickname for her, as I physically am incapable of pronouncing her given name, her species reproduces with spores. When they’re horny, their entire body breaks out into a bushy kind of mushroom. It’s almost like acne, kind of. You get it on your face, your back, your legs.

This probably begs the question as to how we have sex, or if we can even reproduce. I guess I can answer those questions. Sadly, we’ll never be able to reproduce, but we will, according to Kiki, adopt a kid in the future. As for sex, well, nobody ever said you have to do it the standard human way. She has hands and a mouth, and she’s also very creative. Really, what else is there to say? We can satisfy one another. Though, funny enough, sex with her BEGINS with an orgasm since she goes backwards through time.

But, really, outside of her being horny with bushy mushrooms all over her body, she mostly looks like a normal human. I mean, she’s kind of tall, standing in at just over 6 feet. And she has green skin, yes, but we tell them that it is just a skin condition. It’s rude to insult someone’s medical condition, after all, so nobody can say anything about it, even at her job as a pharmacist. And, yes, her frizzy blonde hair may be untamable, but honestly, it’s kind of cute.

“Did you get your pharmacy degree before or after getting a job there?” I ask.

“After. Well, before in your time. It will be pretty easy, really. First things first, I’ll have to walk across a stage to accept my diploma. Then I’ll have to take some classes. Then I’ll have to enroll in the college.”

“Oh, right. That hasn’t happened yet for you, huh?”

“Right. But like I said, it should be easy. After all, since I go through your time backwards, I already know all of the answers.”

“But doesn’t that mean that you’re practicing medicine without a license?”

“Don’t be silly, I’ve worked my entire life with a medical license, I just haven’t earned it yet. But there haven’t been any issues yet. It will be fine, at least for your future.”

“And I suppose I don’t recall any issues in the past. Oh, I remember when you retired! That was interesting!”

“Right? Your species was so confused, as I hadn’t started working there yet!”

“But, well, you got the job. But in the future, your past, does that mean that you stopped working at some point? Since you were too young?”

“I arrived at this world just after you died. And then I got to know you, and you were really nice! You know, that’s why I wanted to work in the medical field, to help people out! But I thought that maybe surgery might be a bit too complicated for someone that goes through time the opposite direction from the patient. I mean, I’ll know it goes right, but I’ll functionally have to do a surgery in reverse.”

In reverse. That’s right, she has to do EVERYTHING in reverse. She doesn’t speak english, even, just a reversed version of it. And when she goes shopping, she has to walk backwards through the grocery store, putting her groceries away. I watched her play poker once, and she swept the house. We are no longer allowed in that casino, though we made enough money that it’s fine.

I’ve since banned Kiki from cheating with her space-time normalcy, as it is abnormal to us, and allows her to cheat. Of course, she seems to plan to do college in her cheaty way, but thats fine since nobody really loses anything from that.

“What is your home planet like?”

“It’s nice. The people there don’t walk backwards like you humans.”

“Our politicians also seem to walk backwards. Anti gay laws and stuff.”

She waves that worry away, “Ah, don’t let that get you down. The old bigots dropped dead – rather, they will drop dead soon enough. Hate will always exist, but love will win. Trans people, gay people, people from different nations with different skin colors, they’ll be accepted openly.”

“How about the politics on your home planet?”

“Eh. You’ve got some greedy jerks who try to steal power from the populace by making up enemies. But as more and more peoples are accepted, it becomes harder to use hate to hold on to power. I think that both of our species are at the tipping point, just going the opposite way through time. But, generally, acceptance is the norm back home. And it will be here, too.”

We cuddle on the couch that night watching a movie. Actually, we’re watching it in reverse, so that she can enjoy the movie. I’ve seen it in the past the normal way for me, but watching it in reverse after I’ve seen it forwards means that Kiki can watch it forwards before she watches it in reverse.

I’ve pretty much gotten used to this whole reversed space-time thing. And, you know, I wouldn’t rather have it any other way.

.yaw rehto yna ti evah rehtar t’ndluow I ,wonk uoy ,dnA .gniht emit-ecaps desrever elohw siht ot desu nettog hcum ytterp ev’I

.esrever ni ti sehctaw ehs erofeb sdrawrof ti hctaw nac ikiK taht snaem sdrawrof ti nees ev’I retfa esrever ni ti gnihctaw tub ,em rof yaw lamron eht tsap eht ni ti nees ev’I .eivom eht yojne nac ehs taht os ,esrever ni ti gnihctaw er’ew ,yllautcA .eivom a gnihctaw thgin taht hcuoc eht no eldduc eW

”.oot ,ereh eb lliw ti dnA .emoh kcab mron eht si ecnatpecca ,yllareneg ,tuB .emit hguorht yaw etisoppo eht gniog tsuj ,tniop gnippit eht ta era seiceps ruo fo htob taht kniht I .rewop ot no dloh ot etah esu ot redrah semoceb ti ,detpecca era selpoep erom dna erom sa tuB .seimene pu gnikam yb ecalupop eht morf rewop laets ot yrt ohw skrej ydeerg emos tog ev’uoY .hE“

”?tenalp emoh ruoy no scitilop eht tuoba woH“

”.ylnepo detpecca eb ll’yeht ,sroloc niks tnereffid htiw snoitan tnereffid morf elpoep ,elpoep yag ,elpoep snarT .niw lliw evol tub ,tsixe syawla lliw etaH .hguone noos daed pord lliw yeht ,rehtar – daed deppord stogib dlo ehT .nwod uoy teg taht tel t’nod ,hA“ ,yawa yrrow taht sevaw ehS

”.ffuts dna swal yag itnA .sdrawkcab klaw ot mees osla snaicitilop ruO“

”.snamuh uoy ekil sdrawkcab klaw t’nod ereht elpoep ehT .ecin s’tI“

”?ekil tenalp emoh ruoy si tahW“

.taht morf gnihtyna sesol yllaer ydobon ecnis enif staht tub ,yaw ytaehc reh ni egelloc od ot nalp ot smees ehs ,esruoc fO .taehc ot reh swolla dna ,su ot lamronba si ti sa ,yclamron emit-ecaps reh htiw gnitaehc morf ikiK dennab ecnis ev’I

.enif s’ti taht yenom hguone edam ew hguoht ,onisac taht ni dewolla regnol on era eW .esuoh eht tpews ehs dna ,ecno rekop yalp reh dehctaw I .yawa seirecorg reh gnittup ,erots yrecorg eht hguorht sdrawkcab klaw ot sah ehs ,gnippohs seog ehs nehw dnA .ti fo noisrev desrever a tsuj ,neve ,hsilgne kaeps t’nseod ehS .esrever ni GNIHTYREVE od ot sah ehs ,thgir s’tahT .esrever nI

”.esrever ni yregrus a od ot evah yllanoitcnuf ll’I tub ,thgir seog ti wonk ll’I ,naem I .tneitap eht morf noitcerid etisoppo eht emit hguorht seog taht enoemos rof detacilpmoc oot tib a eb thgim yregrus ebyam taht thguoht I tuB !tuo elpoep pleh ot ,dleif lacidem eht ni krow ot detnaw I yhw s’taht ,wonk uoY !ecin yllaer erew uoy dna ,uoy wonk ot tog I neht dnA .deid uoy retfa tsuj dlrow siht ta devirra I“

”?gnuoy oot erew uoy ecniS ?tniop emos ta gnikrow deppots uoy taht naem taht seod ,tsap ruoy ,erutuf eht ni tuB .boj eht tog uoy ,llew ,tuB“

”!tey ereht gnikrow detrats t’ndah I sa ,desufnoc os saw seiceps ruoY ?thgiR“

”!gnitseretni saw tahT !deriter uoy nehw rebmemer I ,hO .tsap eht ni seussi yna llacer t’nod I esoppus I dnA“

”.erutuf ruoy rof tsael ta ,enif eb lliw tI .tey seussi yna neeb t’nevah ereht tuB .tey ti denrae t’nevah tsuj I ,esnecil lacidem a htiw efil eritne ym dekrow ev’I ,yllis eb t’noD“

”?esnecil a tuohtiw enicidem gnicitcarp er’uoy taht naem taht t’nseod tuB“

”.srewsna eht fo lla wonk ydaerla I ,sdrawkcab emit ruoy hguorht og I ecnis ,lla retfA .ysae eb dluohs ti ,dias I ekil tuB .thgiR“

”?huh ,uoy rof tey deneppah t’nsah tahT .thgir ,hO“

”.egelloc eht ni llorne ot evah ll’I nehT .sessalc emos ekat ot evah ll’I nehT .amolpid ym tpecca ot egats a ssorca klaw ot evah ll’I ,tsrif sgniht tsriF .yllaer ,ysae ytterp eb lliw tI .emit ruoy ni erofeb ,lleW .retfA“

.ksa I ”?ereht boj a gnitteg retfa ro erofeb eerged ycamrahp ruoy teg uoy diD“

.etuc fo dnik s’ti ,yltsenoh tub ,elbamatnu eb yam riah ednolb yzzirf reh ,sey ,dnA .tsicamrahp a sa boj reh ta neve ,ti tuoba gnihtyna yas nac ydobon os ,lla retfa ,noitidnoc lacidem s’enoemos tlusni ot edur s’tI .noitidnoc niks a tsuj si ti taht meht llet ew tub ,sey ,niks neerg sah ehs dnA .teef 6 revo tsuj ta ni gnidnats ,llat fo dnik s’ehs ,naem I .namuh lamron a ekil skool yltsom ehs ,ydob reh revo lla smoorhsum yhsub htiw ynroh gnieb reh fo edistuo ,yllaer ,tuB

.emit hguorht sdrawkcab seog ehs ecnis msagro na htiw SNIGEB reh htiw xes ,hguone ynnuf ,hguohT .rehtona eno yfsitas nac eW ?yas ot ereht si esle tahw ,yllaeR .evitaerc yrev osla s’ehs dna ,htuom a dna sdnah sah ehS .yaw namuh dradnats eht ti od ot evah uoy dias reve ydobon ,llew ,xes rof sA .erutuf eht ni dik a tpoda ,ikiK ot gnidrocca ,lliw ew tub ,ecudorper ot elba eb reven ll’ew ,yldaS .snoitseuq esoht rewsna nac I sseug I .ecudorper neve nac ew fi ro ,xes evah ew woh ot sa noitseuq eht sgeb ylbaborp sihT

.sgel ruoy ,kcab ruoy ,ecaf ruoy no ti teg uoY .fo dnik ,enca ekil tsomla s’tI .moorhsum fo dnik yhsub a otni tuo skaerb ydob eritne rieht ,ynroh er’yeht nehW .serops htiw secudorper seiceps reh ,eman nevig reh gnicnuonorp fo elbapacni ma yllacisyhp I sa ,reh rof emankcin a ,ikiK ,efiwlartsa ym rof ,wohynA

.ecno hsif atteb a dah I .tsitneics a ton m’I .wonk t’nod I .ebyam ,tib a sgniht gniyfilpmis eb yam taht ,naem I .retaw eht otni mreps esaeler tsuj yeht ,ytrid eht od t’nod yeht ,deerb hsif nehw tuoba kniht ekiL .mohtaf neve t’ndluoc uoy sgniht od srehtO .htrae no esoht sa sdohtem evitcudorper ralimis erahs emoS .syaw tnereffid ni ecudorper meht fo lla dna ,ereht tuo seiceps neila tnereffid era erehT .tnemom a rof redneg neila ssucsid s’teL .thgirlA

.fo dniK .ehs si oS .yranibnon m’I ,seY .ytitnedi redneg ekil sgniht yllis tuoba erac t’nod ).hguone etarucca smees ti os ,ecnetsixe fo enalp siht neve ro ,tenalp siht morf ton s’ehS .deggurhs tsuj ehs dna ,reh rof mret etarucca na si siht fi reh deksa dah I( sneila dnA .ydnah rehtar s’ti ,yllaeR

”.won lliw uoY“

”?I lliW“

.sksa ehs ”?erots yrecorg eht ot og uoy nehw sgge emos teg ot rebmemer uoy lliW“

.tsap ym si erutuf reh dna ,erutuf reh si tsap ym oS .ecaps hguorht emit etisoppo eht sevom tsuj efiw ym ,yllacisaB .psarg ot drah taht t’nsi ti ,yllaer ,dnA

.siht fo lla nialpxe ot )emit ecaps ro( emit eht evah t’nod dna ),seitrap era skcirt od tsuj I .tsixe t’nseod cigam dias I wonk I ,sey( ,naicigam a yllautca m’I ,tsitneics a ton m’I tuB .ecaps fo noisnemid htruof eht gnieb tsuj yllaitnesse emit htiw ,deknil yllacisnirtni era ,esruoc fo ,emit dna ecapS .emit ecaps hguorht yaw etisoppo eht gnilevart yliramirp gnieb lanoisnemid 4 a si efiw ym ,ylpmis ti tup oT

.hguorhtkaerb cifitneics decnavda fo dnik emos ron )tsixe t’nseod hcihw( cigam ot eud t’nsi ti ,on ,dnA .won thgir evila htob era ew ,sey ,dna ,emit emas eht ta ton saw sihT .deid ydaerla I retfa em teem dah ehs dna ,deid ydaerla dah ehs retfa reh tem I ,tcaf nI .pihsnoitaler euqinu rehtar a evah I dna efiw yM