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My name is Jay Metcalfe and I have very unusual story to tell about how I got convinced to take part in a charade which was to completely change my outlook on life. Perhaps it may be best to tell you a bit about myself and how it all came about.

I had a difficult childhood, a foundling left as a baby in the waiting room at Leeds Central Rail Station. I was passed from pillar to post between orphanages, foster homes and care homes, never having time to settle into a family that I could call my own or have a lifelong commitment to, and relationship with. At the tender age of 18 years I was deemed by the authorities to be an adult and was abandoned by the social care system to look after myself.

As I had never settled long enough to really take advantage of the education system, I found myself on the streets with only a handful of money, no qualifications, no fixed abode, no job and little chance of getting off the downward helter-skelter of life on the streets with the other wretched souls whose lives had fallen apart.

I was never particularly big having missed out on the teenage growth spurt like most boys my age and the hard life on the streets turned me into a skinny waif, which along with my small stature, made me look a lot younger than I actually was. The look worked to my advantage in many ways, as I followed a life of petty crime, shoplifting, bag snatching, pickpocketing, acting as lookout for street drug pedlars, to add to what I got from begging outside the local supermarket. On many occasions my innocent youthful appearance got me off with a police caution rather than being charged. The life of crime was not something that I particularly enjoyed, it was not really in my nature but there was no other obvious way to survive.

On the last occasion when I was stopped during a shoplifting trip, the police officer advised me that if I was caught again that I would likely be sent to a Young Offenders Institution, but instead of arresting me he convinced me to go with him to a hostel in a country village in the hills to the West of the big city. He told me that the hostel was associated with a training centre that could teach me a trade which would enable me to live a crime-free life. At least it got me off the streets into a warm dry room well away from my criminal haunts and contacts and allowed me to try to clean up my life. Looking back on my life, this was a turning point and I will be forever grateful to him.

“What are we going to do with you Jay?” Mrs Boothroyd, the manager of the training centre asked after my initial assessment interview. “For someone with an almost non-existent education, you scored amazingly well on the aptitude tests. However the tests suggested that rather than learning a physical trade that you would be better off working with me in the office, how does that sound or does it affect your macho pride.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having macho pride, but to be honest life in the office will be a lot pleasanter than lying under a car learning to be a mechanic, or out in the cold and wet training as a brickie.”

“It will mean that you will be working with a team of women and girls, will you be comfortable with that, and can I trust you to treat them decently?”

“Mrs Boothroyd I am happy to be off the streets and being given a chance to become a better person, if it means that it would be successful, I could work alongside a team of chimpanzees, no disrespect to you and the other women.”

“I think that I had better not tell the others that you consider them just an improvement on a bunch of chimpanzees. Let’s give it a go and see how you get on with everyone.”

So, I ended up starting as the office junior working alongside Mrs Boothroyd, who now allowed me to call her Maggie, and two girls, Rachel and Rowena who had like me been sent to the training centre by the police or social services. At first it was all a bit uncomfortable in the office, as both of the girls had suffered abuse at the hands of their parents and boyfriends and they didn’t feel that they could trust me and be at ease. However I put my head down and worked hard to get them to accept me, not arguing about taking on the more menial tasks that they were not too keen to carry out. Gradually my street-cred macho image softened and they learned to trust me, soon Maggie and the girls started to treat me more as a friend than as a colleague, and they were soon comfortable for mean to join them going out for a drink or to watch a film.

Although I was poorly educated, I am reasonably intelligent and I soon fell into a role helping with the administration of the centre, quickly learning the basics of bookkeeping and the various accounting programs, which meant that I was able to earn enough there legally to forego my previous life of petty crime and get myself Into a small one-bedroom flat,. For the first time in my life I felt that I actually belonged somewhere and had a future instead of just a very murky and lonely past. Instead of a lonely life on the streets I was now one of a happy team of colleagues and friends.

However my new life was rudely interrupted one evening by a loud series of raps on the door of my flat. Opening the door I was faced with two official-looking men who gazed intently at me, before turning to each other smiling. The older one of them turned to the other, “ You know what Simon, I think this is going to work.”

I just stood in the doorway, not inviting them in, as I had not idea who they were and why they were looking for me, and just waited for an explanation from them.

“Good evening Mr Metcalfe. I’m Jack Simpson and my colleague is Simon Walker, we’re from the National Crime Agency, may we come in, there is something we want to discuss with you?”

“What do the police want with me, I’ve been clean-living and respectable for ages now, whatever you think I have done or where I have been, you are wrong, you’ve nothing on me. Can I see some ID please.”

“Calm down Mr Metcalfe, there’s no need for that attitude, you’ve nothing to have to be defensive about. The NCA is not police, we are totally independent from them and are a government agency directly responsible to the Home Office for investigations into major criminal activities, organised crime, terrorist activities and things like that, we are not interested in your past petty criminal record, although we are aware of it. We believe that you can help us with one of our investigations and help to clean up serious criminal gang activities in this city.”

“A bit like the FBI in the States? You had better come in and tell me why you are here.”

“Are you aware of a major gang warfare shooting incident recently in Liverpool that resulted in ten people killed and several others injured in a pub that is an infamous meeting place for some of the most vicious thugs known to the police.”

“You’re joking, it has been wall-to-wall on the local news programmes for the last few days. What’s that got to do with me?”

“We have a credible witness that was walking past the pub as the killers left, noted the getaway car registration and has been able to give us a detailed description of the men involved. We will soon be spiriting the witness away in a safe house and, in conjunction with the local police, are currently working with them to identify the killers, but we need to provide a smokescreen to keep the witness safe while we carry out our investigation and gather further information about the gang’s activities.The police are investigating the shooting itself, but we are more concerned with the bigger picture of the criminal activities of the gangs behind it all. For various reasons which we cannot discuss, at the present time our witness has some inside knowledge of the gang’s activities.”

“As I asked before, what has this got to do with me? I’ve never been involved with any gangs, and have never been in the pub where the shooting took place.”

“We need someone to impersonate and live as our witness, while we are trawling through the information they have given us. We have scanned through all the facial recognition records we have and you are an almost perfect match, a doppelgänger. With a few adjustments you could easily replace them.”

“But looks are only part of being someone, how could I possibly know enough about their life to stand in for them?”

“I assure you that would not be a problem and we’ll explain the details later us. If you agree to doing this, when it is all over the records of your past misdemeanours will be deleted, and if you wish you can be given a new identity, along with a substantial payment which would allow you to get your life comfortably on the straight and narrow. I also assure you that if you agree we have information which I am positive you will be glad to receive.”

“Ok, my life is drifting aimlessly, although it is now more settled than it ever has been working in the office and the centre and going out with Rachel and Rowens as good friends. This can only make it better, tell me more.”

“Our witness is a distant relative of yours, DNA analysis tells us that she a 4th cousin, and by some freak of nature and genetic throwback, other than items relating to gender your DNA and hers are a substantial match, you could almost be brother and sister.”

The words he used suddenly dawned on me and I couldn’t think what to say, and burst out laughing.

“Are you having a laugh? I’m sorry, did you say ‘she’ and ‘her’, surely you can’t expect me to replace her and live as a woman?” I stared at them with disbelief. “I don’t know the first thing about how girls think and act, and although I am small and slim, I could never look like a woman.”

“Look at yourself, you are 5’6’ about 81/2 stone, and extremely slim, put you in a dress now and you could almost pass as a woman, without any major assistance from my my colleagues, who are the best in the business of transforming people. By the time they are finished with you, you will be virtually indistinguishable from our witness, you won’t even recognise yourself. From our discreet enquiries at the training centre we understand that you are comfortable being among women at work all day and even going out socially with some of them as friends, platonic friends, not potential sexual conquests. We think that you could adapt to fill this role for us.”

“If I agree, and it’s a big if, will anyone know about it? If word gets out that I have been living is a woman, it’s not just the gang that I have to worry about, I will be a figure of fun and the butt of a lot of bigoted jokes and comments, I’ll never live it down.”

“Who is there to worry about it if you disappear for a while, you have no close family, the people in the hostel rotate all the time and you don’t have a really close relationship with any of them. This could help us break the influence of two major crime gangs, one of which, a few links up the chain, had a significant influence on your life of minor crime. This could help stop them drawing other innocent young people into criminal activities.”

“If you agree that I can change my mind anytime I wish, I will go along with this, but if it looks like I am going to appear ridiculous, be unmasked, or in trouble, that is the end of it, ok.”

“Agreed, let’s go. You do not need to pack anything, just lock up and come as you are, everything you need will be provided. We will issue a letter to the hostel saying that life there is not for you and that you are going back on the streets. The rent on your flat will be taken care of and you will be able to return here after our investigations are complete.”

I was taken in a car with blacked-out windows, with no idea where they had taken me, except that it was about an hour’s journey, nothing was said on the journey about what was in store for me. When the car pulled up I was quickly led into an old country mansion, not being given any time to get any clues as to where I was.

“Jay, this is Dr Stewart, she and her staff will be taking care of your transformation over the next few days so that you will more closely resemble our witness, your cousin, and give you more information about your new life and all the things you need to know to help you adjust. We will return when they are happy that you can pass as your cousin to see how you are getting on.” Mr Metcalfe gave a smug knowing smile as he shook my hand and bid me goodbye without any further explanations.

“Right Jay, I will go through what we are going to do to you. Before all that would you like a drink to refresh you after your journey?” Dr Stewart asked after the NCA guys had left, soon returning with a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a plate of biscuits.

All I remember after we sat down with the drink and biscuits to talk me though everything is that I suddenly felt really sleepy.

“When I woke up I was still drowsy but soon realised that I was lying in what appeared to be a hospital bed with me hooked up to machines which were buzzing away in the background, I was confused, There was a call button on a cord next to me and when I pressed it a young woman soon appeared.

“Hello Julie, I’m glad you’ve woken up at last I’m Caroline and I will be looking after you.”

“Where am I and why am I in bed, and why are you calling me Julie?”I croaked, barely able to speak as my throat felt ever so sore.

“While you have been asleep Dr Stewart has made some adjustments to your body so that you will more easily pass in your new role as Julie, the girl you are acting as a stand-in for. Please do not try to speak any more, you will hurt your throat, but it should be a lot better tomorrow. Let me unhook you from the machines and if you are not too drowsy try to get out of bed and stand up.”

As I did as I had been told, I was unsteady on my feet, but even through the after-effects of drugs, I realised that I was wearing a nightdress and had a strange feeling of hair hanging down over my face.

“What on earth have you done to me? The last thing I remember is having a biscuit and a chocolate drink. Now everything feels weird.“

“Just calm down Julie and I’ll explain everything. While you have been asleep for the last week or so, you have been transformed into the double of Julie, the NCA witness, and except for anything other than an intimate examination you now look exactly like a woman. You have been given breast inserts which look and feel as natural as possible, Your genitals have been re-arranged and hidden away inside you and other than intercourse you now function like the rest of us females and will have to sit to have a wee, or will do after I remove the catheter.

“I never agreed to all that, get Mr Simpson back here.”

“Let me continue please, and please try not to speak too much. You have had a bit of body sculpture, liposuction to give you a more female higher and slimmer waist, with the fat transferred to your bottom and hips, your lips have been given some botox filler to plump them out a bit. All your body and facial hair has been lasered, and full extensions have been added to your already collar length hair. Of course they have also been some minor cosmetic treatments, skin exfoliation, eyebrows trimmed and shaped, and nails extended and shaped. That’s just about everything.”

I just sat back down on the bed stunned and shaken thinking about what had been done to me.

“If I may say so, you are the most successful transformation we have carried out, you make a very attractive and passable woman. Now get dressed and I will take you through what happens next. Leave any questions until later, when your throat has healed a bit, I forgot to mention that your vocal cords have been tightened to put your voice into a more feminine range.

I’ll leave you to dress yourself I’m sure that you will be more comfortable than if I stayed to help. Give me a call when you are dressed or if you need any assistance.”

After a while when my brain had cleared and I realised everything that Caroline had said had been done to me, I pulled off the nightie, had a good look at my naked self in the wardrobe mirror and could hardly believe what I was looking at. I had not previously had a lot of experience looking at naked women, but as far as I could tell I now looked no different to any other woman. After a few minutes gazing at myself and running my hands over my body, I managed to sort out everything she had left for me and was soon dressed. I pressed the call button and Caroline quickly returned and cast her eyes over me in a thorough inspection.

“Ok Julie, you managed that without any bother, even the bra and tights, honestly you are a natural at this. Have you ever dressed as a woman before?”

I scowled at her in disgust and shook my head in response.”Look Caroline this is weird and embarrassing enough without stupid questions like that.” I managed to croak out a reply even though my throat was sore and my voice sounded weird.

“Sorry I didn’t mean that as an insult. Get it into your head that for the immediate future you are now Julie Sinclair, a 23 year old woman and that’s how you will be treated by me and the rest of the staff here. You will be here for only two days, by then your voice should be a lot better, even if a bit croaky for a while, and you will be living your life as Julie. Meantime I will give you a crash course in everything you need to know about being a woman. Your background story of your life as Julie will be dealt with by the guys from the NCA when they come to collect you.”

The next two days with Caroline were intense, everything from how to walk particularly in high heels, sit, greet people, and many sessions on make up, hair care, and body care. In two days I had to learn skills and attitudes that most women and girls had taken a lifetime to acquire. It was like a whirlwind had picked me up and I was out of control.

It was soon time to leave but before going from my room, having styled my hair and fixed my makeup I had a good look at myself in the mirror to see what they had done to me. I could still see some remnants of what I looked like when I arrived, but maybe that was just wishful thinking, to anyone else I would appear as an attractive young woman’

That’s it then Julie, we’ve done everything we can for you, it is now down to you to get used to your new life, the more you experience the more you will adjust, mentally as well as physically. When this is all over the NCA will bring you back here and everything we have done to you will be unpicked, enjoy what little time you will have as a woman” Caroline said as she gave me a goodbye hug and helped me take my suitcases with all my new clothes and necessities out to the car where two guys from the NCA were waiting to take me for a full briefing on what I had to do,

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As we travelled I had no idea where I had been or where we ended up, except it was obvious that it was a major office complex in a city centre, and the guys in the car had not told me anything further, preferring to wait for the formal briefing.

I was soon led into an interview where Simpson and Walker were waiting for me, closely watching my every movement as I walked over and sat facing them.

“Hello again Julie, they have done a wonderful job on you, you look amazing, just like the real Julie, we think that you are now ready to take her place.”

“I hope that you are happy with what you have done to me, because I am not. You told me that I would be taking the place of a woman, a few minor adjustments you said, you didn’t tell me that you were going to turn me almost completely into a woman, I would never have agreed.” I was really angry with them, I thought that they had led me on and turned me into a freak.

“What did you think that we were going to do to you, just put you in a dress and a bit of makeup? How convincing would that be, come on be realistic there needs to be no opportunity for someone to see through your disguise.”

“What else have you not told me?” I snapped back.

“Just calm down and when you are ready and settled in Julie, we will give you a lot more details of the real Julie Sinclair who you are now replacing and where she fits into our investigations. As we told you, as well as being a witness to the shootings, Julie has been able to provide us with a lot of information about the gang’s criminal activities. She works for a firm of accountants and financial advisers which is effectively a legitimate front for money-laundering by one of the gangs we are investigating. When she recognised one of the shooters who she recalled as having had several meetings with her boss, she put two and two together and realised what was going on and called the Crimestoppers hotline, which we followed up on. Before she came to talk to us she had the good sense to download a copy of the complete file detailing the activities of her employers on behalf of the gang onto a usb memory which she has passed on to us.The intention is that while you are impersonating her that she will go through everything with us, which will hopefully allow us to take down the gang”

“That’s all very well for you but I am putting my life at risk here. What if they suspect that she has been talking to you and decide not to take the risk and arrange to get rid of her, which means getting rid of me. I am not sure that I can trust you to keep this all a secret or that you can keep me safe, you guys have kept a lot of information from me before getting me involved in this escapade.”

“That’s why it was all the changes were done to you while you were drugged and unconscious, it saved a lot of time having endless discussions and arguments about it. Don’t worry about them knowing about Julie, that is the whole point of you taking her place. As you will be in full public view for the duration of this investigation you needed to be as realistic as possible, and now without a detailed gynaecological examination there is no sign of who you really are. By the way you have turned out unbelievably well, if we stood you and Julie together it would be hard to realise which one was which.”

“If I am replacing Julie how on earth am I supposed to slip into her job? I have some basic knowledge of bookkeeping from working in the hostel, but that is as far as it goes, I wouldn’t know where to start in a proper accountant’s office, never mind dealing with colleagues who I am supposed to have known and worked with for years?” Getting answers from them was like trying to get blood out of a stone. Any information they were giving me was only slowly being drip-fed

“That’s all sorted. As Julie, you are going on an extended holiday, with Laura her sister who Julie shares a flat with, for a break at a cottage in the West Highlands which they had previously arranged. While you are there you’ll both have plenty to talk about, Laura will fill you in on details of her family, and incidentally your family too, it could be very enlightening for you.”

“What exactly do you want me to do?”

“For the moment, that is it. Go on holiday, be seen as Julie, do not hide way. We understand that there is a mole in the local police department investigating the shooting and that the gang knows that we are talking to an informant, they will no doubt be checking up to see who is missing. Make a point of being seen and heard as Julie. You’ll get on well with Laura, let me bring her in and introduce you to her, then you two can go and get to know each other.”

“Does she know everything about me?”

“She knows that you are, or were, male and that you are a distant relative but that’s it, but knows nothing about your life of crime or your personal situation. As I said, just meet her and get to know each other.”

When Laura came in we both almost lost our breath with shock. “OMG are you sure that is not the real Julie. she’s the spitting image, are you kidding me?” She managed to squeak, looking me up and down trying to find fault with my appearance. She had obviously been kept in the dark as much as I had. I had a lot of sympathy for her, realising that this was as difficult for her as it was for me. I was now in no doubt that we were related. She was a younger version of how I now looked as Julie, and I could even see her as a feminine version of me as Jay, she had the same red hair and pale green eyes as I have.

“No Laura, that is our replacement for Julie, but to save any confusion just call her Julie and talk to her as if she is really your sister. Now go away, have a chat, then go home and pack for your holiday, and other than enjoying your time in Scotland there is nothing more that we need you to do. If anyone contacts you and claims to be from the NCA, they will use a password ’Metcalfe’ to let you know they are genuine.”

With both of us feeling totally confused we needed to have a few quiet minutes of reflection to absorb what we were now faced with. Rather than go straight home to deal with the practicalities, we first went to a local Café Nero to have a few moments to take each other in, and found a quiet corner where we could talk without being easily overheard. I entered the café and sat down with Laura nervously, it was the first time I had been out in public and although I had seen myself in the mirror and knew that I looked just like Julie, I was sure that there must be traces of Jay still apparent and that I would be spotted as a fake, or even worse as Jay.

After ordering our drinks Laura sat silently for a few minutes staring at me , not believing who she was looking at before snapping out of it. “Gosh Julie, is it true what they have told me and that you are really a boy, I can’t believe it, all I see in you is my sister. What do I call you?” Laura kept staring at me, unsure as to how to relate to me.

“Shush Laura, you never know who is listening, but yes it’s true, or was true, you will have to look really hard to find any trace of manhood still left in me. I am having to adjust to this as much if not more than you are. My life has been turned upside down, or outside in if you want to think about it that way.” We both giggled at the thought of that.

“It will be hard but we both have to quickly adjust to me as Julie if this is going to work. It might be easier if we talked on the journey, we’ll have plenty time for that and it will pass the time as we drive. Come on let’s get you packed and on our trip, we have a long drive ahead of us, and please keep calling me Julie, that way we won’t make a silly mistake.”

Laura quickly finished her packing and put a few extra things of Julie’s for me to add to the suitcases that Caroline had given me, which were soon loaded into Julie’s car. Before we left we called at the neighbour’s to let her know where we were going and how to get in touch if anything came up, and although she did not fully open the door we noticed a rather scruffy-looking man sitting in her room.

“Maybe I am being a bit paranoid, but I don’t remember seeing that man before, do you think he might be one of the gang checking on you?” A worried Laura asked me as we were driving up the motorway on the way to Scotland.

“Probably not, but so what if he is, he now knows where we are going, and if they are worried, they will get someone to check up on us, and all they will find is me and you enjoying ourselves on holiday.”

After a long journey through some wonderful scenery as we passed through the English Lake District and then up past Glasgow into the start of the highlands, we finally arrived late in the evening at the holiday lodge just outside Caol, a small village near Fort William. In the evening twilight with the setting sun forming a rosy glow over the hills on the horizon over the other side of the loch the village looked so picturesque. Caol sat on the banks of Loch Linhe at the beginning of the Caledonian Canal with the mountains of Lochaber soaring up to the clouds further up the glen behind the village. We could hardly stop ourselves from going out to explore but we needed to get settled in to unwind after the car journey, have a coffee and unpack our things.

“What a beautiful view down the Loch with the mountains behind us, but it is so remote. What made you and Julie decide to book this place?” I said as we sat and chatted after we had got ourselves sorted out.

“Julie and I had promised ourselves to visit here sometime, our grannie told us so much about it and the times she had when she visited her grannie here, This is where our ancestors are from which is why both of us have the second forename of Cameron that was the family name all those years ago. Since then all the daughters of each generation have been given the name as a reminder of our heritage. That applies to you now too Julie.”

“”What do you mean?”

“Well we/ve been told that our grannie’s grannie is your ancestor too. When my sister agreed to help the NCA and they discovered a DNA link to you, they investigated our family tree to find out how we were connected. Apparently they followed the female line down to your mother and then there was no further information. As you are from a branch of the family with a pure female link, you share the same female element of your DNA with us, which is why you look so much like Julie and me. We all get DNA from our two parents and one tends to dominate to determine our physical characteristics and in the cases of Julie, me and you that is the maternal DNA.”

“Are you suggesting that I should really be female?” I quickly replied, shocked at what I thought was a suggestion that how I now looked was how I should really be.

“Not at all, it has been clearly explained to us that genetic DNA affects your physical characteristics, colours of hair, eyes, skin, but does not determine gender, characteristics can be passed on by both parents to both male and female children. In the case of Julie, me and you that means red hair, lovely green eyes and a pale skin.”

“I’m flabbergasted, that is a lot for me to take in. I was abandoned soon after my birth with no identity, raised in orphanages and foster homes and have never known anything about my family and where I come from.”

“Well that has all changed now cousin Julie, or whatever your real name is. From now you can count Julie and me as your kin and in time we can introduce you around the rest of the wider family if you wish. This situation we’re in is not ideal but the positive is that you now know who you are and where you come from, or at least you will when we have had a longer talk and I have filled in all the details.”

“It has been a long day Laura, and I am tired from all the driving, I’m ready for my bed. If you don’t mind I will just clean off all this makeup, rub in some night cream, get into my nightie, and fall into bed.”

“No matter who you were before all this, they have done a really good job converting you into a girl, you even seem to be thinking like a girl, you just seem so natural talking about putting on your nightie and moisturiser. Go and sort yourself out, I’ll get changed too and make us a hot chocolate, with the heating having been on low for a few days since the last people left it is still a bit chilly in here.” After chatting a bit more about our family while drinking the chocolate we wearily went off to our rooms and I was soon in a deep sleep.

When I awoke the next morning there was an arm wrapped around my waist and a cosy warm feeling where Laura was spooned into my back, still asleep. I gently raised her arm and got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to make some coffee and toast for the pair of us. As Laura had still not appeared I took it back to the bedroom, finding her now awake I climbed back into bed next to her.

“I hope you don’t mind me getting into bed with you last night but I was a bit cold and I couldn’t sleep thinking about everything that is happening. I thought it would be ok if I came and cuddled with you as we are now sisters of sorts and Julie and I often share the same bed, chatting away until we fall asleep.”

“Laura, on the way here I told you what they have done to me, there is no danger of anything untoward happening between us, as long as this goes on I am almost physically as much of a female as you, as you can see through this rather flimsy nightie, just treat me as you would Julie. All my life I have wished for a close family, a brother or sister to grow up with and share our experiences. While we are here just treat me and talk to me as you would Julie, and if that means cuddling up in bed together, I’m not going to complain. It was a nice feeling having you warming my back, after years of being on my own with nobody close it was a nice reminder that I now have someone that I can enjoy the company of. If you often cuddle up to Julie, I would enjoy it if you did the same to me.”

“I hope that you don’t mind me asking but doesn’t it feel a bit, you know, weird, for you though, how they have changed you?”

“It’s something that I am trying to put to the back my mind, I need get it into my head that I am now Julie, at least for the immediate future. If I keep thinking about my life as a boy , some of my real personality will begin to show through, and we can’t afford to let the mask slip. I was shocked and uncomfortable when I first saw myself in a mirror after they had worked on me, but I can live with it knowing that it is all cosmetic and can easily be undone. To be honest the thing that gets to me most is my voice, every time I speak it amazes me how I sound. Even though it has only been a few days, I have got used to everything else and accept it all. The breasts, the female groin, the long hair falling over my face, the clothes and makeup, all go to the back of my mind, but I just cannot ignore the voice.”

“If you don’t mind me saying it, you really do come across as a woman, as Julie, it is easy to forget who you really are.”

“For the immediate future, I am having to think of myself as a woman and get on with things as if it is the most normal and natural thing in the world. Speaking of which, I’m going to have a shower, get dressed and go for a walk down to the village to see what’s there, are you coming?”

“If you don’t mind, I am still a bit tired, you go and I’ll have another hour or so wrapped up in the warm bed.”

It was a fresh morning with a breeze blowing in over the loch, so I dressed in jeans, a thick wooly jumper, a long coat, a beanie hat and ankle boots and set off on my voyage of discovery. Caol was small enough to have an intimate community feel about it, but large enough to have a few local shops and all the facilities we would need during our stay. Often in small villages people are wary of strangers, but Caol had enough of a tourist industry that I generally went unnoticed except for a few cheery ‘good morning, it’s fine fresh day isn’t it dear?” from people I passed. On the way back I stopped at the local mini-market to get a few provisions to see us through the day and was met with a warm friendly smile from the lady behind the counter.

“Good morning Mo ghràdh, I haven’t see you in here before, are you up here on holiday, staying locally?”asked the small pleasant woman in her late forties, with typical highland colouring of pale skin and red hair, not much different to Laura and me as Julie.

“Hello, I’m Julie Sinclair, we just arrived last night and I’ve been having a wander around to get to know the village. My younger sister Laura and I are staying at a lodge just outside the village, we’ll be here for a month or so, having a break and investigating our family links to the area.”

“Fàilte, we get a lot of that particularly with you English and a lot of Canadians looking into your family history, you seem to have no sense of belonging as you are and want to try to link back to your ancestors in what you think was a more romantic era, you’ve all watched Braveheart too many times. I’m not sure that you’ll discover your roots in Caol though, there aren’t many Sinclairs around here.”

“Actually the family links are Cameron not Sinclair, both Laura and I have that as our middle names, it is a tradition in our family that all girl babies are given the name to remind us of our lineage.”

Well now, that’s a coincidence, I’m Jeannie McLeod, but I was a Cameron before I got married, but then there a lot of folk around here called Cameron. My family have always lived around here, you never know we might be related. Sometime while you are here you and your wee sister must pop round for a chat. Co-dhiù, you didn’t come in here to gossip, what can I get for you?”

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When I got back to the Lodge, with some bits and pieces to keep us going I heard Laura up and about in the bedroom so I put the shopping away in the cupboards and started to prepare breakfast. The noise as I put stuff away must have disturbed Laura and she soon came into the kitchen, yawning, still not fully dressed.

“There you are Laura, you look nice and snug in that fleece dressing gown. I thought that our first meal here should be a Scottish one so I’ve been doing a bit of shopping. There’s a nice bowl of porridge, with honey, to warm you up and we can have some of the nice fresh-baked bannocks with scrambled eggs.”

“A piece of toast and a coffee would have done fine, but that sounds good. you’ll make some lucky lad a lovely wife someday.” I wasn’t sure if she was making a joke at my expense or whether still only half awake she hadn’t yet got her brain in gear, soI said nothing, just raised my eyebrows and stared at her.

“Oops, sorry, I keep forgetting, I just see you as Julie sometimes.”

“The more you do that the better, just in case anyone comes checking up on us. Anyway, when I was in the shop I got chatting to Jeannie who runs the place. It turns out that she is a Cameron too, or was before she got married and became a McLeod. She said to pop round, ‘with my wee sister’ for a chat to see if we are all related. We’ll get settled in for a few days and then maybe take her up on it. I’ll tidy up the breakfast things you go and get dressed and we’ll go for a walk to get to know the place.”

“You don’t believe in hiding away do you, we’ve only been here one day and you’re already on first name terms with one of the locals.”

“If you remember, I am supposed to be just acting normally, the more I am seen about the more likely it will be that anyone looking for Julie will just accept that we are here on holiday, and forget about us.The more I meet and talk to people the more I will take on her character, or at least that of someone like her, and will become more at ease with my new life.”

After a brisk walk over the bridge across the canal and around the foothills of the Grampians we headed back to the village and stopped off in the local pub and restaurant, ‘The Lochy’, for a refreshing drink.

“Fàilte girls, what can I get you? The young barman greeted us with a friendly smile.

“A dry white wine and a half of whatever the local ale is please.” Laura quickly replied smiling back at him.

“There you are girls, I’m told that you will be around for awhile, I hope to see you in here again soon. Slàinte, enjoy your drink.”

“How do you know who we are?” I mumbled, a bit concerned that someone had been asking for us.

“Julie, you were talking to my Auntie Jeannie earlier, and she is the biggest chatterbox around, and she described you perfectly, half the village must know of you by now. This lovely lady must be your wee sister Laura. I’m Jamie Cameron by the way, pleased to meet you both.”

“Tell me something Jamie, both you and your auntie keep slipping into the odd word of Gaelic, do people around here still use it a lot?”

“Some do, up in the hills some of the farmers and crofters speak it as their first tongue. Most of us though just know and use a few words of greetings, it seems to go down well with the tourists, no disrespect girls. Co-dhiù, I can’t stay and chat I have other customers waiting, See you again, I hope.”

We found a table with a window seat looking out over the loch, which also gave Laura a good view of the friendly barman.
“He seemed a bit of alright, don’t you think Julie. A nice smile and a friendly manner, and pretty good looking too, quite fanciable, I wonder if he has got a friend for you too.”

“He seems ok, but he’s not my type Laura, and I’m not looking to meet up with a friend either. He seemed to be taken with you though,” we both giggled and looked over at him.

As we left, Jamie called us over. “I don’t know if you girls have anything planned for tonight, but we will be having a ceilidh band playing in the bar. Not professionals just a few of us local lads having a bit of a jam session, but we are pretty good. Why not come down and join in, Auntie Jeannie says that you are here to find out a bit more about your heritage, and it’s fun way to do it.”

“What do you think Julie, it sounds fun and it will give me a chance to get to know Jamie.”

As we left The Lochy, to make our way back to the lodge, Laura made a point of giving a goodbye wave, and calling over to him “See you later Jamie.”

Back at the lodge we quickly showered and freshened up then sat and chatted for a while over a cup of tea and some shortbread biscuits, “Right Laura, you have a lot more experience than me for this, how do you think we should go dressed tonight?"

“Casual I think, smart casual, trousers rather than jeans or skirt, and if it is a folky night a woolen top and fleece, trainers or flats, we will have to walk home in the dark afterwards. Let’s get there early and have a meal in the restaurant before going into the bar. That sort of outfit should do us for both.”

“I’ll bow to your knowledge and experience, what do you want to do until it’s time to get ready?’

“You have a lot to learn still Julie, it takes almost as much time and effort for us girls to look casual as it takes to get fully dressed up. Your nails are chipped you need to clean off the polish and do them again. While they are drying I will run the styling wand over your hair to give it a bit more body and length, then you can do the same for me. When you do your makeup keep it reasonably light, don’t go overboard with the mascara and liner and only a little light eyeshadow.”

We arrived at The Lochy and made our way to the restaurant which was almost filled with visitors, and the few locals in there all smiled and said ‘Hello girls’ or ‘halò nigheanan’ as they passed our table. Jamie had been right, most of the villagers already knew about us.

After a large warming bowl of Cullen Skink with a crusty chunk of bannock, followed with a portion of Cranachan as dessert we made our way to the bar, as we heard the band tuning up ready for their session.

“Hi girls we’ve saved a seat for you over here at our table, please come and join us, Jamie told me that you would probably be here.” Jeannie called out to us and waved us over as we entered.

“Thanks Jeannie, but we don’t want to intrude in your night out with friends.”

“Don’t be silly, you’re more than welcome, and it will give you a chance to meet some of the others in the family.”

I was getting used to meeting and casually chatting with people but was unsure how much at ease I would be in a group, but Jeannie really gave us no choice without appearing to be rude

“This is my sister Morag, my cousin Kirsty, and my niece Lindsey, girls this is Julie and her wee sister Laura. The menfolk are all up at the bar, it gives us a chance to have a bit of girl-time and get to know each other while they have a drink with their friends.“

Jeannie and her family were really welcoming to us and I seen felt relaxed in their company, working with the girls at the hostel had been a good training ground for me in being at ease in a crowd of females and we were all soon chatting away happily learning about each other until Jamie and the band started playing. At first they started off playing dance tunes, reels and eights, to liven the place up and give stragglers a chance to find sets Ass the atmosphere in the room warmed up they played a lot of local and nationally known folk tunes which everyone joined in with. Laura and I weren’t sure of a lot of the words but we joined in whenever we could.

“You have a fine wee voice on you there Julie.” Jeannie nudged me when the band were having a beer-break. “You should go and join the lads with a tune or two. Just tell Jamie some songs that you know, there should be some that they know as well.”

As Jay I had a reasonable singing voice and could hold a tune quite well, but before tonight I hadn’t sung with my Julie voice, but had surprised myself at how well I had sounded joining in with the bits that I knew. Jeannie got up and went to talk to Jamie and came back a few minutes later, grabbed my hand and led me up to the band.

“‘Guys, this is Julie, she has a fine singing voice, you probably heard it above the mumbles from the rest of us joining in, I think that she should join you for a song or two, besides a bonnie lassie like her will brighten up the stage instead of all you bland young lads.”

“Honestly I couldn’t, I’m not used to singing in public.”

“Don’t be daft, it’s not as if this is a big concert hall, it’s just a bit of fun, and a lot of the folk here are probably related to you anyways and those that aren’t will want to be your friends after they hear you sing. Please give it a go.” Jeannie almost begged me, it was hard to resist her.

“Ok, just one though, do you know ‘Wild Mountain Thyme’?” I asked Jamie who received nods of approval from the others in the band

“It’s one of our regulars but it is really a song for a man to sing to his woman.” Jamie burst into a big grin as he replied.

“Not the way a lot of other women sing it, saying ‘Go, Laddie go’ instead of ‘Lassie’. Let me start it off and you can find my tempo for the music and join in the chorus.

I managed to get through the song without any major errors, thankful that Dr Stewart had done a really good job on my vocal cords, and at the end I was met with a loud chorus of applause, whistles and cries of ‘more’. Not to be outdone Laura came and joined me and turned to Jamie.

“Do you know ‘Fiddlers Green’, it’s one they used to sing a lot at our local folk club, I know it’s not Scottish but it’s pretty well known in most fishing communities?”

“You’re right I have heard it a few times. Ok, you lead Laura along with me, the guys and Julie will join in with us as we go along.”

It turned out that Laura had a pretty good voice too and the audience soon joined in with the chorus. We were enjoying ourselves andstayed on stage with the lads for the rest of the session, joining in where we could.

“Thanks a lot girls that was good fun with you both tonight, go and join Auntie Jeannie and the family, I’ll send some drinks over and join you after the bar rush.”Jamie hugged us both before he went back behind the bar.

“You did really well girls, it made a nice change from Jamie and the laddies. You should sort out some songs with Jamie for the session next week.” Jeannie seemed to be the alpha female in the family and the others just followed whatever she suggested. “Me and the girls have been talking, we’ll all be a bit tied up tomorrow with church in the morning, but if you want pop over in the afternoon and have dinner with me we’ll all see what we can do to help you find out more about your family. That is unless you want to come to church with me in the morning, there is a choice of whichever appeals to you most, but Rory and I go to the Kilmalie parish church in Corpach just over the canal, the free churches in the village are either a bit ‘fire and brimstone’ or a bit ‘happy-clappy evangelical’ for us. It may help to get to know the minister, the parish records go back into the mists of time, and may provide you with some useful information.” Jeannie seemed to have already adopted us as family and was planning out our stay in Caol.

“What do you think about church in the morning, I have never really been a churchgoer but Jeannie seemed keen to get us to go with them?” Laura asked me as we prepared for bed.

“Me neither, just Christmas, Easter and Harvest festival really, but we probably should. We seem to have been accepted into the local community, and it’s probably now expected of us. Let’s get a hot chocolate to have in bed as we chat about what happened today, that is unless you would rather go back to your own room.”

“If you don’t mind it was nice and snug in with you last night, and as I said, we are almost sisters , so why not.”

“What did you think about us getting up to sing tonight, I quite enjoyed it once I had got used to the range of my voice and became confident with it.”

“You sang beautifully Julie, you should be proud of yourself, and you seemed to be comfortable with the boys in the band, and natural as a member of the female family group, are you sure that you are not having me on and are really a girl?”

“Don’t ask silly questions,” I replied not giving her an answer to her question.I was ot nearly as comfortable as you and Jamie though, you couldn’t have got any closer to him and his microphone.” I giggled and gave her a nudge, almost causing her or spill her chocolate. “Sweet dreams Laura, and I’m sure they will be if Jamie figures in them.”

Sunday morning we were up early getting ready go to church. For the first time, I wore a dress, a simple navy knee-length shift. Even during my intense training by Caroline she only had me in skirts and tops. Although wearing a heavy coat I was a bit chilled by the time we got to the church, the light tights did little to protect our legs from the bitter wind blowing across the loch and we were only too glad to arrive into the relative warmth of the old stone church. Jeannie and a man I assumed to be her husband Rory, were already there near the entrance chatting to the her sister Morag.

“Come and join us in the family pews at the front girls, the rest of the family will be here soon, I’m glad you decided to come.” She said bustling us past a lot of inquisitive stares from folk wondering who we were. We were soon joined by Kirsty, Morag, Lindsey, their husbands and two more couples that we hadn’t met, but we didn’t really have time for introductions before the service started. We were surprised to see that the minister was quite young and cheerful and held the service formally when necessary, but in a light-hearted manner when appropriate.

As the service was closing he put on a big smile and told the congregation “I think and hope that we have some good news for you all. You may notice that there are two new faces in the front pew today, Julie and Laura Cameron Sinclair. I had the pleasure last night of hearing them sing at the ceilidh in The Lochy and they were a delight to hear, as some of you may have picked up during the hymn singing this morning. They don’t know anything about this but it has been suggested that they close the service with a hymn of their choice. If they are willing I would like them to have a discussion with Sarah our organist to select something suitable. Do you agree Ladies?”

Laura and I looked at each other, nodded, then at Jeannie who was the picture of innocence, and feeling embarrassed we rose and went over to Sarah for a discussion. A minute or two later we stood at he centre of the chancel and Sarah played a few introductory bars while the minister announced, “Please open your hymnals to hymn 555, I‘m sure you all know it but let Julie and Laura start off the first two verses before you all join in. Nervously I burst unaccompanied into song.

Laura joined me for the second verse accompanied on the organ by Sarah, before the Minister raised his hands to call the congregation to stand and join in. The final verse, a repeat of the first, was again just me unaccompanied.

“That was beautiful, so uplifting, sung from the heart , thank you very much Ladies. Congregation it is most unusual but you are allowed to clap if you wish.” The minister gave a warm smile and pointed us back to our pew. ‘Go in peace everyone.”

He came over to shake our hands and thank us personally. “You raised the spirits of everyone. You are most welcome to join our congregation while you are staying in Caol. I’m Reverend Cameron, and before you ask, yes I am Jeannie’s nephew. Most people call me Reverend Rob or just plain Rob. Aunt Jeannie tells me that you are here to find out more about your family history, you are more than welcome to spend time here at the church going through the parish records if you wish. Please give me a call to arrange a suitable time. I see Aunt Jeannie is waiting for you, don’t be too hard on her for setting you up, she tends to take over, but means well.”

“You might have warned us Jeannie, when Rob asked us so nicely to sing, we couldn’t really refuse, could we.”

“Well, if it will serve as an apology please come and join Rory and me for Sunday dinner, there’s more than enough for all of us.”

“That’s really kind of you, of course we’d love to join you, if you’re sure that it is not imposing.”

Back at their house, Rory poured us all a glass of whisky ‘to beat the chill of the walk back’ and we sat and chatted for a while before Jeannie got up to prepare the dinner. Leaving Laura to talk with Rory, I joined Jeannie in the kitchen.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“That’s so kind of you to ask. The topside is already in the oven slow cooking to keep it nice and tender, but you can peel a few potatoes and carrots if you wish, let me get you an apron, you don’t want to get your lovely dress dirty.”

“Is there anyone n the village that you are not related to, the family pews were full, and the minister and barman are nephews, I’m sure there’s more?”

“The family has been around Caol for a long while, so a lot of folk here are my kin, but there are a lot of incomers too, that have only been here for a couple of generations.” she smiled as she told me. “That was a beautiful hymn you chose to sing today, and I noticed that you had a tear in your eye as you sang it, does it have a special significance for you?”

“I’ll tell you the story someday but in some ways it reflects my life, it has not always been smooth but now it is getting back on track and I feel like I am part of a family again. It’s definitely a case of ‘I once was lost, but now I am found’ for me, not in a religious sense but in how I am living my life.”

“Whatever it is that’s been troubling you, put it in the past, you cannot change it, just live your life now as you would like it to be. Thanks for your help in here, it’s all on the go now, let’s go back and join the others, before we get maudlin, Rory is probably boring your wee sister to death.”

After a delicious dinner in really pleasant company, we spent the rest of the day chatting to Jeannie, while Rory went out to tend to his vegetable garden, really just an excuse for a break from our female chatter.

“We’ve done a bit of research into our family tree already, and it goes back to the 1740’s. The Cameron line lived around here, but in the mid 1800s, our Great, Great, Great grandparents moved down to England and settled near Liverpool. Only our immediate family branch has been followed, but if you tell us a bit about your forebears we should be able to link ourselves to you.” Laura enthusiastically told Jeannie, she was a lot more familiar with the family tree, which had been provided by the NCA, so I just sat and listened, learning a lot about my heritage. After Jeannie told us the names of her grandparents and a few other family members, Laura promised to check it out on Ancestry and try to tie it all together.

“That dinner was delightful Jeannie, or maybe we should call you Auntie Jeannie like the lads do, it more than made up for you setting us up at the church this morning.” We each gave her a hug as we said our goodbyes before heading back to the Lodge.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We were soon changed into something more casual and settled in with coffees recalling the events of the day.

“That’s a bit of a shock when we were invited up to sing, and it was a good choice of yours to pick ‘Amazing Grace’, which you seemed to sing from the heart. When you were in the kitchen with Jeannie, Rory was fairly quiet and not very talkative so I could hear a lot of the conversation you were having. What did you mean about having been lost but now you are found? I know very little about you.”

“The NCA deliberately only told us what they felt we needed to know about each other and suggested that the least we knew the safer we would all be. They only told you that I am really male and that I am a distant relative, but nothing about my life. My mother was unmarried when she had me and must have had no means to support me. She left me safe and warm in the waiting room at Leeds Central station with no information about who I was.This was in the days before widespread use of DNA analysis and they were unable to trace her.

I was raised in an orphanage and put out to foster care with several families, for some reason none wanted to adopt me and I was returned several times back to care. When I became 18 I was considered to be an adult and was left to look after myself, the social care system no longer had a responsibility for me. I ended up homeless and jobless, living on the streets, begging, petty theft, shoplifting, picking pockets and handbag snatching. I was not a very nice person, and have done an awful lot of things that I now regret, but I only did what I had to do to survive. My life started to alter when an understanding police officer convinced me that to save myself from prison that I should go into a hostel and training centre were I started to change my ways. That’s why my records were on the police DNA and facial recognition databases and they were able to trace me when they needed a double for Julie. So now that I have found a family and have foregone my life of crime, I shed a tear when I sang ‘ I once was lost and now I am found’ in the first verse of Amazing Grace.”

“Oh, you poor dear. You say that you were not a very nice person, but let me tell you, I could not have wished for a nicer, kinder sweeter person to substitute for Julie. What you were is in the past and you should be proud of who you are now. You ought to be proud of yourself.”

We both ended up crying and hugging each other for a few minutes until our emotions calmed down. That is whthe moment that I first to really believe that I had found a family at last.

Not knowing how long we would be staying in the area, we spent the next few days generally sightseeing and touring the area around Caol and Fort William, driving up the Great Glen towards Inverness, fruitless monster watching at Loch Ness, walking most of the way up Ben Nevis, generally enjoying the glorious scenery. I was making the most of it, it was the first real holiday that I had ever had and enjoying the company of Laura, I was determined to make the most of it while it lasted.

On Saturday we again went to the ceilidh at The Lochy, and spend a lot of the evening on the platform that acted as the stage with Jamie and the lads in the band, generally joining in with most of their song-list, but adding a few of the folk tunes from Liverpool. People were getting to know us now, we were being accepted as part of the local community and throughout the evening there was a constant stream of people coming to say hello to us, and offering us drinks.

Talking afterwards with Jeannie and the family, she asked if we were going to church again in the morning. “Reverend Rob was wondering if you would take the lead in the hymns, we don’t have a formal choir, and it needs someone to lift the volume of the singing to get folk to join in more enthusiastically. we would all really appreciate it.”

When we arrived at the church we were glad that the family had saved seats for us, the church was full and there were very few places left. “Word has got round that the pair of you would be singing again, and it has drawn in the non-regulars who all want to hear you. Afterwards you must come over for dinner, I’ve invited Rob and Jamie over too, so we can have a long chat about the family history and how you fit in with us all.”

During the service Reverend Rob Laura and I led the singing, which encouraged most of the congregation to join in a lot more enthusiastically than I was told was usual. Most of the congregation approached us we stood at the door with Rob after the service to thank us for making the service more enjoyable, several mentioning that they also had family links to Jeannie and therefore probably to us too. Eventually there were only Jeannie, Rory, Rob, and ourselves left and we all walked back together to Jeannie’s.

After a pleasant meal wduring which the others told us an awful lot about the area and its history we settled down to the business of discussing the family trees.

“OK girls I’ve brought some of the parish records with me. Let’s see what you have already found and we’ll check it out.” Rob told us as we sat with a warming whisky He opened his laptop and we signed in on Laura’s to the Ancestry site with details of our side of the family. We quickly checked and it showed that our Grannies Grannie was the sister of Jeannie’s Grannie’s mother, Isabella, confirming that we were all kin. We added in Isabella and the line of her descent all the way down to Jamie and Rob. I at least was now happy that I knew my heritage and had a sense of belonging. Laura was happy that she had done what she and Julie had wanted to do and confirmed all the information that the NCA had uncovered.

“Girls, I want to ask you a favour.” Jamie brought up after we had finished. “The band has a gig next week at the folk club in Fort William, we would like you to join us as guest singers. Your voices have added a new dimension to our singing and playlist, the folk in The Lochy really like it and we’re sure that you will go down well at the gig.”

“We’d love to, thank you for asking us. Let us know anything we need to learn, send us your planned playlist.”

A lot of their repertoire was traditional music so we only had to learn a few songs that we didn’t already know and would be accompanying the band on tambourines for their musical items. On the day of the show we decided to choose between casual jeans and jumpers or flowing floral skirts and peasant blouses, we chose the floral skirts and tied our hair up with Cameron tartan ribbons to give a bit of contrast to how nwe expected the boys to be in their jeans and casual shirts. Jamies chin dropped in surprise when he came to collect its and saw the pair of us.

“Wow girls you’re looking fantastic, if we weren’t related I could really fancy the pair of you, you’ve really changed the band profile, it’s pity that you are only visiting and will soon be going back over the border.”I think that we would get a lot more gigs if you joined us permanently.”

“Admit it, you just wanted a bit of eye-candy, I hope the lads are not too casually dressed.” Laura teased him.

At the end of the session, I grabbed the microphone. “This is not scheduled but I would like to do another song. As you can tell I am from over the border, but since coming here I have found some wonderful kin and have fallen in love with the area, This is my tribute to you all and as a memory for me to take away when I leave. It’s actually an old traditional song from Northern Ireland that I heard on the radio the other day, ‘The Green Glens of Antrim’, but I have adapted it to this beautiful area. Boys, let me sing the chorus and see if you can pickup with the backing”

The band soon picked up on the tune and the rhythm and the audience joined in enthusiastically at the chorus. when I had finished there was a roar of applause and calls for an encore. There were tears rolling down my face as I repeated the first and last verses. Knowing that I would soon be leaving an area that I had fallen in love with and a wider family than I now had ever imagined that I would have

“That was amazing Julie, obviously sung from the heart, the audience loved it and if you don’t mind we’ll include it in our playlist and learn the proper music.”Jamie hugged me and wiped away my tears.

At the bar afterwards, we were told that someone, an Englishman, had been asking questions about us, but the distrusting barman told him very little other than we were with the band from Caol. However when we were loading up the van after the gig we were approached by a stranger.

The boys from the band immediately stood between him as us, “Can I have a word please girls, my name is John Metcalfe?” he said using the agreed code word. He showed us his NCA id card and told us that he worked with Jack Simpson and Simon Walker.

“OK boys it’s fine, please give us a bit of privacy for a few minutes.”

“What do you want with us, is there a problem with Julie.” demanded Laura concerned for her sister.

“Let’s go somewhere we can talk properly.”

Back at the cottage we settled down with ‘John Metcalfe’ for a long discussion along with a bottle of oak-matured whisky from the local Ben Nevis distillery.

“There’s no need to be concerned for your sister, far from it, Julie has been most helpful and we are building a case against the drug gang bosses. She has helped as much as she can and we no longer need to keep her under wraps. Your planned holiday here is nearly over. Thank you for impersonating Julie, I don’t know your real identity but if you want to give up the masquerade you can get your old life back. I can escort you back to England, if that is what you want, and Laura can meet up with her sister.”

“I was told that I’d be given a new identity, that is what I want, please tell Mr Simpson to get in touch with me, there is something I need to discuss with him. I think that I would like to stay here for a while longer, what about you Laura?”

“Me too and if she also wants to, I would like Julie to come up here and join us.”

A week later after several long phone calls Jack Simpson arrived with Julie, meeting us in the car park at Fort William train station. It was a really emotional reunion between the sisters, before Julie came and gave me an almighty hug.

“Thank you so much for covering for me, and looking after Laura. It’s like looking in a mirror.when I look at you. When they told me what you have done to you I didn’t think that it was possible and that it would not work out. We have a lot to talk about, and unless Mr Simpson has anything left to say I would like to settle down with you for a while for you to tell me everything that has happened since you have been up here.” Julie stared at me in disbelief.

“Unfortunately Julie, I need to go back with Mr Simpson, there are a few things that we need to sort out. Laura and you need to spend some time together alone. you have a lot to talk about and you really need to know what has been happening here the last few weeks. I promise that I will be back soon.”

Jack Simpson took me back to the country mansion where I had been transformed and left me with Caroline who fondly greeted me with a cheek kiss and hug, asking me on the way if I was sure about what I had asked him to arrange.

“Welcome back Julie we’ve had you booked you in for a session tomorrow to undo all the work we carried out on you, let’s get you settled in and prepared.”

“Did Dr Stewart not tell you, I don’t want it undone, well not most of it. I’ve really left my old life behind and have been totally comfortable and happy living as Julie, I would like you to complete the transformation.”

“Do you mean you want to be surgically changed completely into a woman?”

“Exactly. Over the last few weeks living as Julie I have already mentally adjusted and am certain that is how I want to live my life. I’m told that you can do that for me here?”

I was saved from having to give any further explanation when Dr Stewart came in and asked Caroline to leave.

“There are a lot of assessment procedures that normally would mean that it is far too soon to carry out gender re-assignment operations on you, but the NCA have told us to do whatever you wish. As this is a specialist government clinic, the bureaucratic rules do not apply to us where it can result is someone’s safety, so if that is really what you want I can arrange it. I personally haven’t carried out reassignment procedures before, but I know a colleague that has. I will see what I can arrange, but it will probably be a few days before she can fit you into her schedule.”

Three days later I was on the operating table getting my surgery, and was then left under the charge of Caroline again for a few weeks while I recovered and adjusted to my new body parts and the hormones now swimming around my blood stream.

“I’m glad that you decided to remain as a woman, I have never seen anyone adjust to a new identity so easily and quickly, it would’ve been a shame if you had gone back to being a man again.” Caroline told me one day when we were walking in the grounds of the clinic.

Caroline, the change in my life is not just physical or medical, my whole character has drastically changed while I have been away, I want to leave my old life behind me and start afresh with my new family

A week later, Jack Simpson came to collect me, and we went back to my flat to collect all the few personal belongings that I wanted to take with me to my new life.

“I’ve done everything you asked, records have been altered to show that your mother had a baby girl, Iona Cameron Walker, there are full school and health records. To all intents and purposes , that is who you have always been, enjoy your new life Iona. You told us that you wanted to return to Caol and we have purchased a house in Caol for you, large enough for you and your cousins Laura and Julie, who have now also decided to stay there. Technically it is listed as one of our safe houses, but it is yours as long as you wish. The only proviso is that we make ask you occasionally to temporarily take in someone that we are protecting. Julie will not be needed to testify at the court case, our forensic accountants have gathered enough information and left a data trail that does not involve her, her name will never be mentioned in court and Jay Metcalfe has disappeared off the face of the earth. I will arrange to get you back up to Caol and to clear everything up here in your flat. Enjoy your new life and thank you for all your help.”

A week later after having had my hair and makeup restyled so that I was no longer a total twin for Julie. I arrived back at our new home, Lochaber House, a large Georgian property at the edge of the village, where I was warmly hugged and greeted by Laura and Julie.

“Wow look at you, we weren’t expecting to see you still as a girl, we were ready to welcome our boy cousin Jay. Come on in and tell us all about it.”

“You’ll have to get used to me looking like this, this is who I am now, Iona Cameron Metcalfe, it’s all official and legal now, you can add me to the family tree.”

“What? Do you mean that you are now going to continue to live as a woman.” gasped Laura.

“The last few weeks have been amazing, I have never had any family or close friends and have felt really comfortable and at ease in my time as Julie, but life has to move on. Besides, I’ve got no choice now but to live as Iona since my surgery completed the work they had previously carried out.” I giggled at the shocked look on their faces. “It’s time that the family met Iona, its latest addition.”

We threw a big housewarming party in Lochaber House for all the relatives, which seemed to include a good proportion of the village. I was introduced as Iona, someone that had shown up on Ancestry as a DNA link to Julie and Laura, had got to know them and had been invited to join them at Lochaber House. I was welcomed as Iona as warmly as I had been when impersonating Julie. No mention had been made to anyone about my previous time in Caol. While I had been away Laura had been out with Jamie a few times and Julie had got to know Rob, so they set me up with Ally one of the lads in the band so that I didn’t feel left out when they were out on dates.

One evening I was sitting in the garden having a relaxing drink with Auntie Jeannie when she turned to me with a twinkle in her eye.

‘Iona, and it’s best that we keep it at that, I don’t know what the three of you have been up to but I knew straight away when Julie returned that day with Laura, that she wasn’t the same Julie that I had grown to know and love as a family member, and by the way her voice is nowhere as sweet and pure as yours. Nobody else has mentioned anything to me, so whatever you have been up to is between you and me. You must tell me everything someday.”

“Someday, maybe, Auntie Jeannie, it’s a long story all the better for telling over a wee dram on a cold winter’s night in front of a roaring log fire, but for now just accept that you have three new nieces, Julie, Laura and Iona, and keep it to yourself.” I replied with a smile, warmly taking her hand.

After she left I sat admiring the view across the loch in a maudlin mood thinking about how everything had changed for me. From a lonely existence on the streets surviving by the proceeds of petty crime, my life had been completely turned around, I now felt that I was with a loving family and good friends, living a life I was comfortable with, somewhere that I belonged, and looking forward to whatever the future might bring.

The end