dorothycolleen's blog

advice needed

I really need advice.

I think my ex is taking advantage of me because I have a car, and she often will ask for a ride, only to add 2 or 3 extra stops, or want to spend much more time somewhere than she mentioned before she got into the car.

I put up with a lot because she is the sole caregiver of my disabled daughter, but then today she spent part of the trip insulting both me and my mother and claiming we were going to hell.

I really want to set a boundary here, but I don't know how to without it hurting my daughter.

advice please.

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some good news about Sam

So, we went to Sam's doctor today and got some good news.

Her CT scan showed no problems, which means whatever is wrong with her, it's not being caused by a tumor or a stroke or anything of that kind.

Which means that as was suspected at first, this is a psychological issue, or possibly a chemical imbalance, or maybe a bit of both.

We're a long way from a cure, but I think this was a major step forward.

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my dreams keep getting better

Okay so last night I think I had one of my best dreams ever.

I was an officer of the law, chasing a dangerous criminal in the mountains of British Columbia.

And I was amazing.

Strong, smart, and above all fearless, I overcame obstacles in my way with ease.

Sadly, the dream ended just as I had the bad guy cornered, but I have no doubt that version of me would succeed.,

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a better type of dream

So last night, I dreamed I was a freshman in university, and unlike a lot of my dreams, I was prepared. I had my schedule, a map, and a notebook where I wrote down where each class I was taking was located.

I'm hoping that dream means I am becoming less a victim of circumstances and recognizing I can do things to make my situation better.

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good news, bad news

Well, I just got a bit of good news. the social housing (reduced rent) agency has approved our application, and now we are on the wait list.

might be a while before we're near the top, but since we have a lease here until next June, that's okay.

Unfortunately, I also got a bit of bad news last night. The last few days Sharon, sick and exhausted, has had to phone me to get me to help persuade Sam to eat or drink anything at all.

That clearly cant go on for very long, so we're preparing for the possibility that Sam will need to be hospitalized.

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Sam is getting worse

so yesterday Mom and I helped Sharon and Sam go to a doctor's appointment, and she has apparently been getting worse.

Sharon said she's sleeping poorly, having nightmares, and she had to fight like crazy to get Sam to take a meal replacement drink.

Sam's brain scan on Tuesday can't come soon enough . . ..

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hugs needed

so yesterday, I spilled hot coffee on myself, and when I went to check on the burn, I discovered I have a massive bruise on my lower tummy where I give myself my insulin injections.

For whatever reason, this has set off my PTSD, and I've been shaky ever since.

hugs appreciated

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dream time again

okay so last night, I dreamed I was laying on a beach, just relaxing listening to the waves, when a band started playing music near me. something in the music moved me, so I got up to thank them - and realized the top half of my bathing suit was missing.

I grabbed the towel I had been laying on to cover myself, apologized to the band, and ran like heck towards a building containing lockers where presumably my clothes were.

make of that what you will.

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Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't

I am an addict.

I am addicted to imagination.

Fantasy, science fiction, comics, almost anything would do as long as it allowed me to not deal with the real world.

Nowadays I get my fix mostly online, including the ability to create a fake version of me so I never had to face my real self.

The result is I am an overgrown child, completely unable to handle the adult world.

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strange call from Sharon last night

Something strange happened last night.

just as Mom and I were headed for bed, we got a call from Sharon. When Sharon is angry, her accent and speed of speech make her hard to understand, but from what I could gather, she had a "feeling from God" about some kind of evil coming into the house, and went to check on Sam, who was playing with her cell phone

Sharon asked to see what she was doing, and Sam refused, and Sharon lost it, and she had called us to take Sam for the night because Sharon couldn't have "a dark spirit" around.

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if life would stop beating me up, that would be great

well, yesterday we managed to get the window on my car fixed, walking away 500$ poorer in the process.

Only to have that fix last less than 24 hours, thanks to my mom.

We were told to not put down the window for 24 hours when we picked up the car yesterday afternoon, but while doing a grocery run with her sister, my mom forgot and started to put the window down.

The glass didnt fall out, but its no longer in place.

So off we went back to the dealership today to get it fixed - again, but they haven't called us back, which means we are sans car for now.

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