I asked, “Who suggested Bowcraft?”

Marcy fired back at me, “I thought you were acting as your mother’s daughter; a date isn’t out of line.”

Not thinking, my response only prolonged the agony. I said, “Okay, but it will need to be next week. My family and I are going to Philadelphia in the morning and be there overnight. And I’m not used to packing as a girl going away.”

Marcy said the date had already been moved to next week. She then bubbled over saying, “Let me help you choose what to take and help pack them so they get there in good shape.”

When I told her about the intergeneration picture of the women in my mom’s family, she burst out into joy and laughter. My mom told her, “Counting Jamie there will be seven girl cousins. Grandma White and Great-grandmother Turner insisted with Kiley’s baby and Jamie finally dressing up they wanted the five-generation picture taken now.”

Marcy turned to me, “You didn’t tell me you’re an aunt now.” She turned to my mother, “Is there any way that Kira is going to be baptized while they are all together?”

My mother turned around quickly, “How did you guess, even Jamie didn’t yet?”

Marcy said, “I wonder if it might be possible, that’s what our extended family tends to do. I thought I should lend Jamie a lace head covering if that’s the case.”

My mom said, “She would look very beautiful as well as appropriate wearing one.”

My mother was happy that my date was delayed one week, while my father was now upset that Jamie was continuing. He did agree to be congenial with me through the trip to Philadelphia and being with family. He was better than his word. He complimented how I looked and behaved as we were up early and off to Philadelphia, Dan and my father had made my mother breakfast; Dan gave her roses and a valuable gift card, and my father announced a Hawaiian trip for the two of them. Needless to say, Mom was blown off her feet. My gift of a nice spring sweater that Marcy helped me to pick out was nice but didn’t match everything else that was going on.

I was wearing the spring sun dress my mother had bought me for our prior weekend away.

Wearing stockings added to my feelings of joy, but they weren’t noticed until we were with others.

Dan and I would usually get each other into trouble when we rode together in the back, but seemingly things were different for the both of us. I told my mother that I put off the date with Lee Mc Fatherly, and planned not to do it at all.

My Mom said putting it off was a good idea, but since you weren’t nice enough to cancel it, I’m going to insist you go on the date. Like Marcy, I think it is a girl experience that you have dreamed of.”

“I did not!” I protested, even though they were right.

Dan laughed, “It serves you right! My brother has a date with a boyfriend.” I was in the act of extending my hand to slap him; when my father said, “I wouldn’t if I were you.” I was ready to protest, but my father said, “I’m not happy about you having a date, but I agree with your mother, you should not have agreed to it if you didn’t plan to go through with it.”

“I’m putting on some music, I want you two to sing along with your mother. Jamie, you are to use your girl’s voice, and don’t argue with me.”

The first was a Carol King song, ‘I Can Feel the Earth Move’. Dan didn’t need to sing. It was the third song before I relaxed and sang along naturally. It did make the trip seem shorter.

We had stopped once for gas, and my mother had me accompany her to the women’s room. She said, “You asked about Laurie before, and I had you wait. Laurie’s called the little prophet because she’s done some unexplainable things since she’s been twelve. The biggest being praying over Aunt Beth when she was diagnosed with advanced cancer.”

“I didn’t know Aunt Beth has cancer?”

Mother says, “That was five years ago, and there’s no sign of it now. It was breast cancer and you were seven, so we didn’t tell you.”

Mom continued, “Laurie might want to talk to you about you being a girl. She was fairly sure she saw signs of it when she was ten but had only mentioned it to her mother. She has some new thoughts about it.”

“If she’s going to pass judgment on me I don’t need that. I’d rather not talk to her if that were the case,” I said.

Mom said, “We need to get back to the car, but you should be open to her; it is not about judging you. It could be good news but that’s for you to decide. I can be there if you want.”

“Mom, I’ve always liked Laurie, I sure wish it would be okay to talk to her.”

When we got in the car and started for Philadelphia, my dad gave us a hard time, “What took so long?”

Without thinking I said, “I was putting on some mascara and mom said I put on too much. So I had to do it over.” Mom giggled under her breath, but it was me who got my father’s ire.

“You shouldn’t be putting on any makeup,” he said earnestly.

Mom confessed to him, “She’s kidding you.”

We drove north around Philadelphia to West Chester where my grandparents lived. Three of my cousins were out front watching for us to arrive and before we could get out of the car; five of my girl cousins were there to greet us.

I’m not sure who said it first, but there was a chorus of “Oh my” as I got out of the car and where they could see me. Cousin Liza said, “I like how you look, Jamie. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, but we have a few ideas about what you might wear for the pictures. Great-grandmother and Grandma are both looking forward to seeing you.”

Cousin Carrie says, “We’re also wondering if we can help you with makeup ideas. Have any of the girls who know you, helped you with different looks?”

I felt giggly inside with the attention they were giving me as it was too much too fast.

We gathered around a large dining room table to tea, coffee, or water and pastries or buttered rolls. There were just over a dozen family women around the table including Kiley and baby Chantel.

I sat down next to Kiley before I realized she was nursing Chantel. I guess my face was turning red. Kiley told me, “Please stay seated, I can tell you’re surprised.”

I apologized, “I’m sorry, nursing her caught me by surprise. I’ve seen pictures, but part of my reaction is because of how boys generally look at this. It is much more beautiful than I ever imagined.”

Kiley smiled as she said, “It’s okay to look, just don’t ogle like a boy, but as you said take in the beauty as another girl.”

“Can I hold her after you’re done nursing her?” I asked.

Kiley had me put a cloth on my shoulder and asked if I’d mind burping her. After I got over my initial fear of even holding her. I brought Chantel up to my shoulder as they directed me and gave her gentle pats on her back, and she burped. I was left holding the baby as Kiley cleaned herself and Chantel. Chantel was soon asleep in my arms.

I usually found a bunch of women or girls talking boring, but now it was interesting. And what I didn’t easily understand, I was patient and took it in for what I understood. I even found myself talking to another one of the girls.

Cousin Monica asked me, “Do you still see yourself as a 21st-century male?” I responded by denying what was happening and saying, “Sure as soon as tomorrow I will go back to being James.”

Monica told me, “I don’t think so, you’ll still be here until Tuesday.”

I called over to my Mom, “Mom are we staying over tonight: I didn’t pack anything?”

She said, “I packed for everyone, don’t worry about that. I also arranged so they know you and Dan won’t be to school until Wednesday.”

Monica asked me, “Please follow me, and I’ll show you what we’re wearing for the five-generation picture.” I followed her upstairs to her room which was laid out like a sleepover. I didn’t dare ask if I was staying in here tonight.

She showed me the brightly colored sundress she would be wearing and then a pretty sundress of blue and yellow pastel flowers with green leaves and vines on a white dress. I couldn’t help but appreciate how beautiful it was and think it was for me. “Monica, do I have you to thank for the dress?”

“I’m glad you like it,” she said, “it was Kari, Laura, and I who thought it would be nice for you.”

I laughed, “It will probably be the prettiest dress I ever get to wear.” Monica told me to go shower so I can change into it. That she would help me with my makeup.

I went into her bathroom to shower and saw a fresh pair of panties and a bra there, Monica indicated they were for me to put on after I was clean and dry.

Hearing that took my thoughts back to when Monica first met me as Jamie and wanted to paint my fingernails.

It was different showering as a girl with the small breast forms and my gaff on. I let go of my inhibitions and allowed myself to continue in my good mood as Jamie. I didn’t tell anyone, but I had the feeling of being an attractive teen like Monica. But I spoke to myself, “Wednesday if not Tuesday, you’ll be back to being myself James.”

The bathroom door was ajar and I heard Monica saying, “I’m not sure about that.” Sadly, neither was I.

I had worn the hair cap while I was in the shower. It made getting dry much easier. Once I had on the panty and bra set, I called out, “Hand me what goes over these, so I can come out.”

Monica and now Laura said, come out and we’ll help with the rest. It took a bit of coaxing before I stepped out like I was. I was asked to choose which pair of stockings I wanted to wear; there were three different pairs. Monica had chosen one pair and Laura had selected another. Needless to say, I chose the third pair, which was now pointed out to me, that didn’t go well with my dress. Thus I ended up choosing the light tan pair that Laura had suggested. They both helped me to slip into my dress and then covered my front and should with a clean dishtowel and began to do my makeup and brush out my hair.

I was like a young girl mesmerized by how they improved my look. I felt all giggly inside but didn’t express it as I thought it would make me look like an immature girl.

Laura had finished with my hair and went to freshen herself up before getting dressed. She came out like I did, down to her panty and bra. I was not ready to see how nice a nineteen-year-old young woman looked. Her dress was a light spring white dress with lace work and embroidery.

I didn’t notice Monica undressed; until I saw her dress falling over her.

It was mid-afternoon when we all posed in front of the fireplace mantle for our group picture. There we many more photos taken of smaller groups with Grandmother and Great-grandmother.

Without question, the most precious picture was of the grandmothers, her mother, Kiley, and Chantel who made it a five-generation picture.

My picture as one of the female cousins with our grandmothers was more than precious to me.

I was whisked upstairs to change into a short-knit dress as we cousins were getting our picture taken together. My makeup was changed to evening makeup as though we were going out together. I was posing in the center of the photo. We had just one of the cousins and another with us great-grandma, and grandma. Great-grandma Turner had me come to her. She smiled and said, “I want to thank you, “Once I heard you were being a daughter for your mother, I knew I want to see you and personally thank you for making my day as well. You make quite an attractive young woman, and I certainly would not mind if you showed yourself more often. Please, come and visit me at the assisted living center so I can show you off.”

Automatically, I said, “You can’t mean that.”

Grandma Turner’s eyes became serious and she said, “Don’t you ever discount what I say to you again. I love you James/Jamie. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, Grandma, I love you too.” She had me kneel and turn around in front of her and pull up my hair from around my neck. She then attached a precious cameo necklace around my neck. I knew she had done that for each of her daughters and granddaughters. I touched the necklace as I turned to hug her and thank her. My eyes were already filled with a tear in each eye.

She lightly giggled, “I see you already know not to let the tears flow and ruin your makeup.” She gave me her delicate handkerchief to absorb my tears. I knelt next to her chair and we talked for a good while.

Later, some of the men were watching a baseball game, and others a golf tournament, and part of me wanted to be with them. Laurie, Lisa, and Monica talked me into going with them to see a college women’s twin bill at the University of Pennsylvania against Princeton at the University of Penn’s ballfield. Cousin Kiley was already there with her daughter Chantel. She had played for Penn two years before and before the first game she got to visit with many of the team’s players.

I was loving my experiences of entering into the women’s world as another woman. Some of the changes were subtle but profound to me. Deidre one of the players drew attention to me, asking, “Aren’t you the boy James from my home town; who’s gotten into experiencing this Mother’s Day as your mother’s daughter?”

Several teammates gave her a difficult time at first since they were sure I was another girl. Kiley spoke up, “Jamie maybe her, but it is for her to acknowledge. I believe Jamie’s identity has grown stronger over the past month and a half.”

Kiley gave me Chantel’s diaper bag with a feeding bottle as Kiley wanted to be sitting in with the team for the first game.

Monica talked to me during that game about feeling like I was being baptized by an estrogen emersion into women’s life. I retorted, “How can you say that, I’ve told you numerous times I’m going back to being James and staying as James. How can you believe otherwise you know me?”

I’ve heard your words, but you picked out a precious pair of ankle boots, you’ve gotten a pedicure, and you already had your hair done at a salon. I bet you have a wardrobe that outdoes James’s.” She pauses and then asks, “Which do you want to deny first?”

I said, “Even if that’s true, I can’t disappoint my mother and my dad!”

Laurie was nearby, “There’s no evidence you would disappoint your parents, quite the opposite. They have gone out of their way to support you. Even your father has come around to accepting you as Jamie, is that not so?”

“What do you expect me to do?” I say, “Go back to school and sit in class as Jamie?”

Monica speaks back up, “If that is part of whom you want to be, why not? I think Marcy and a lot of girls and some of the boys will be with you.”

I asked, “Monica, do you think Marcy and others would accept that? I don’t think I could do it just to be acting.”

Monica is handing me her phone, “Marcy, just a moment Jamie has a question for you.” I’m taking the phone and I answer without trying to change my voice back.

“Marcy, what would you and the other girls say if I came to school tomorrow or Thursday as Jamie?”

“It would be about time; I’ve been hoping to have you as Jamie my best friend.” I didn’t mean or expect to cry, but I started and couldn’t stop. Marcy speaks up from her end, “I’ve been waiting for you to break down; I only wish I were there to comfort you with a hug.” Monica and Laurie step around me and Monica speaks into the phone, “We’re here and we are happy to fill in for you. We are glad to affirm what we thought; people will be there for her…”

To be continued…