I was a sophomore and the girl in me especially enjoyed two times of the year: Christmas and prom time. I wasn’t old enough to go to the Junior-Senior Prom as one had to be a junior or senior to go to the prom and to invite someone. Yes, I know I could go as a sophomore or freshman if someone invited me as their date. Yes, I thought I was pretty enough but that was in my mind and heart. Physically no one else saw that pretty girl, instead they saw a boy, a bit short and thin at that. I received my share of being bullied but I was scrappy and witty enough to return enough pain or embarrassment that I wasn’t bullied as much as some.
My Mom, recuperating from illness and surgery, so one brother or I had to go shopping with her to carry packages and help as we could. I have my driver’s permit so I could even drive if helpful. Today was one of those shopping days for me to go with her.
I had a half day of school; I was out and we were on our way to the mall by 1:00 p.m. The plan was shopping at a mall, and then grocery shopping after that. The mall was a good fifteen miles away, which could mean a twenty to a fifty minute drive depending on the traffic.
Once inside the mall, Mom told me to go look for some needed clothes and where to meet her in forty minutes. A guy does not need any forty minutes to find what he needs so I had extra time to burn. I'm not surprised that in this store there was five times the merchandise for girls and women as there was for men and boys. Some say it’s because girls/women like to shop more.
I think they enjoy shopping because they have a nicer selection and a lot more color. Guys’ suits wouldn’t be so bad if clothes designers did a better job in coming up with more styles and color choices. Mom says they use to have something called Nehru jackets and casual suits but they didn’t last. Unless a suit or sport coat was required for work most guys didn’t wear them anymore.
What surprised me today was the department store already had prom dresses, evening gowns and more to select from for special occasions. That seemed way too early, but I kind of like seeing them. On my way back I slowly went pass and looked at how beautiful some of the dresses were. Once interested the next thing was to check the prices. Several signs said 10-15% off, but was it off $25 or $50?
I knew some suits cost $125-350 and that was not at expensive stores. But Girls only wear a prom dress only once so I didn’t think they could be very expensive. I was wrong; most of the dresses cost $150-750. Dad should be very thankful he has four sons and no daughters. But alas, cost aside the dresses are outright beautiful.
“Young man, could I help you?” I was caught my surprise. I was watching out for shoppers especially high school girls. I didn’t want to be caught looking too closely at girls’ stuff. But I was not watching for the sales people. Why should I, I did not look like an interested buyer. The sales woman says, “They are pretty aren’t they?”
I said, “Yes, pretty darn expensive as well. My brother is going to the prom this year and he asked me to check on how much gowns might cost his date. He wanted to appreciate how much it was costing the girl since he was expected to pay for her ticket, take her out for a fancy meal and get her flowers.” I was proud of myself for making up excuses like that right on the spot. But sometimes I only fooled myself in thinking how good they were in excusing my behavior.
The saleswoman says,“That is very sensitive of your brother. I don’t remember any boy ever checking that before. And what a nice brother you are to check for him.”
I said, “That’s my brother alright; my parents raised us with good manners.”
“So what kind of prom dress is his girlfriend getting? How expensive do you think it might be?” I was trying to figure what to say. …Finally she asked which ones I liked best. She smiled when she saw my eyes brighten up.
I tell her, “I would like to show you, but I am to meet my mom and I am probably already late.”
“Well if your mom has time maybe she could help you in selecting a prom dress. What would you say if I picked out three or four; you and your mom could tell me which ones you like the most?” I told her that was a neat idea but I didn’t think we would have time. “You would be surprised by how many boys and guys wished they could try one.”
I say with a chuckle, “What kind a guy would want to do that?” I half-heartedly started to walk away.
She said, “I had a nephew who was jealous that I worked in women’s clothing. He said it was unfair that the girls got such pretty dresses and not guys. Two years ago, I had him stop as we were closing and he selected a dress and his mother let him try it on. He’s now a football player and while he might look a bit silly now, he looked pretty good then. I don’t think he is silly, odd or anything like that.”
I stutter trying to excuse myself, “I didn’t mean to suggest he was but… but I was only ...awe, I need to get.” And I scooted away, to wait for my mother.
“Well you better get going but I hope you and your mom come back. I will have three or four dresses set aside so you two could give me your opinion. That might help your brother out.”
I said “Okay” and hurried away. Luckily mom was just getting to our meeting place. It was another half hour before we went to the department store to look for my clothes. The sales woman saw us on our way and called over, “Young man, is that your mother? Have you come back to look at the prom dresses for me?”
I was embarrassed but was not of mind to own up to what I had been doing. “I don’t think we can stop, we have to…”
Mom cut me off, “What did you two agree to, if it’s not too much we could take the time.” The sales woman explained our dialogue and shared, she had set aside some dresses in case I was interested and we came back. Mom seemed to be catching on but did not say anything.
“Well Carl, if you are interested and you are helping your brother, I think we should take the time.”
Lavonne led us and we followed. She had indeed set four beautiful dresses aside. They were red, blue, beige, and yellow; sharing “We have each style in pink if that’s your preference.”
Mom asked which girl I thought Drew was going to ask to the prom and what I knew of her taste in prom dresses.
Lavonne spoke up, “I must apologize, I think your son was embarrassed before. He was thinking I thought he was looking for himself. I didn’t mean to embarrass him. Though we have had boys look, and even try on or buy dresses. I even told him of a young man, I knew and helped a couple of years ago. My nephew is now a good size football player, but then he was younger and slender in built.”
Mom spoke “I don’t mean to pry, but may I ask how you accommodated him in doing that?”
The woman shared “I don’t mind sharing but can I explain as we are looking at these prom dresses. Otherwise I need to be able to take time with others if I am not busy.”
Mom took each of the gowns and lifted them up in front of her and some then up to me as she looked at the dresses. She turned each around for me to have a good look and see. She even requested that I fee how nice they feel. I couldn't believe that she picked up the skirt and expected me to look and touch inside of it. I felt awkward as she held them in front of me. I liked it very much but I was not ready to say so. She finally asked, “Carl which do you like?”
I say, “Mom, how would I know, I don’t know either girl’s taste?”
She said, “I asked which ones do you like; you should have your own opinion.” I took a closer look at each and asked her opinion.
Mom says, “I will share but I want your opinion first. I want to see if we think alike. You boys are kind of sheltered from all that goes on in a girl's world.”
I shared, “They are all beautiful but I liked the light blue one the most, probably the red one second but would want to see it in pink. I think the final decision would depend on the girl, and how it looked on her. I also like the golden yellow gown but it is way too expensive for my tastes.”
Mom asks, “What do you like about the blue one so much?”
“I don’t know, the blue one looks as good of quality as the yellow or beige ones, but it costs less. I like the fullness of the skirt; it’s not too much but it is very nice. I like the chiffon on top and the chiffon sleeves and the slits in the sleeves. I think they would look very beautiful and help a beautiful girl to look soft and beautiful like a princess.”
Mom smiled and lightly giggled, “I did not know I had such an astute young man with an eye for fashion.” Lavonne agreed and I tried to push away the compliments. I'm sure I blushed.
Mom spoke up, “Young man, what do you say?”
“Thanks for the compliment”.
Mom caught me off guard, “Is Lavonne right that would you like to try it on?”
“Mom, that is embarrassing, why would you ask that? Lavonne didn’t mean I was looking at it for me.”
Mom asked her, “Lavonne, if he wanted too, what would be a good time to try one?” I was now getting more embarrassed by the minute.
Lavonne spoke up, “If it's to be today, I would suggest between 5:45 and 6:15. I would still be here and it should be slow enough that we could discretely take measurements and possibly have an opportunity for him to try one or two on.”
Mom spoke up, “Wow, young man what you say at an opportunity like that? And don’t tell me you wouldn’t be interested.”
“Mom that's crazy that's what I say!
Mom whispered, “Do you want to tell Lavonne why I don’t think it's so crazy? Or was that not you who has been into my clothes.”
“Mom, you said whomever it was, you didn't need to know. You just did not want them to be doing it again.”
“That is right but does Ray allow you to wear his stuff without asking?”
“No but that is different, that is guys clothes and he has good taste and more sport jackets than I do.”
Mom acts offended, “If you don’t think my clothes are in good taste why have you or someone tried them on?”
“I didn’t say your clothes aren’t nice.” I knew I was losing the argument and just making it worse.
"I thought, if you wanted to try some this would be a good opportunity.” She says, "I'm willing that you do it, without it being a secret or telling everyone."
Carl says, “Mom, I don’t think they would want a boy to be trying on something he had no intention on buying, especially something this expensive.”
Mom says, “Well what if you tried it and liked it. And I didn’t stop you from buying it?”
“Mom this is all silly talk, even if I liked the dress why would I want to buy something so expensive that I couldn't wear?”
Mom is getting a little irritated, “Carl, you have avoided acknowledging or just saying no, you don't want to. It has been you getting into my stuff and you haven't denied it. Nor that you would enjoy the opportunity of trying on a prom dress.”
“I hate to burst your bubble young man” Lavonne shared. “If it were the opportunity to wear it I think even that could be arranged.”
Both mom and I replied, "What?"
Lavonne says, “I am not saying you are gay. I possibly know a young man who would possibly be willing to take you to his prom. It would be at a different school from yours and I don’t think anyone would see anything but a girl anyway.”
Mom shared with the saleswoman, “We need to get going but we might see you later if we’re interested.”
“If you are interested, I would ask if at all possible that he could have a bit more of a feminine top and jeans.”
Mom asks, “Would we need a bra or anything since we would only be trying it on?”
Lavonne shared “No, Only if he were to be buying one, Then he’d need to be properly fitted with the right one. Though some panties might help.”
Mom gave me a tug and as we started to walk away, mom said “We might see you later.”
Mom and I went and picked out my clothes and I hoped things were going back to normal. Mom excused herself and asked me to get in the register line. She went someplace and came back with some extra clothes. I asked, “What are they for?”
Mom whispered, “You may not want to ask with the others here.” I was not agreeing to anything nor was I going to protest there. We got a few more things. Then we went grocery shopping that took a good hour. Mom called home and told them "We're running late and we'll get a bite to eat before we get back."
The restaurant is nice but nothing fancy. When we're ready to leave, my mother gave me a bag, telling me, “Go to the bathroom and change. Don’t embarrass yourself and when you’re ready I will be in the car.”
I could not believe what was happening, but I didn’t dare follow my mother out to the car. I knew what she could do. It had been some seven years, but I still remember the embarrassment of my mother taking a stubborn me into the women’s room.
I went to the men’s room, changed in one of the stalls and knew enough to make my way back out without stopping. I had on a pair of panties, a snug pair of slacks with a boy like shirt that buttoned wrong. I don’t know if Mom purposely chose a restaurant with restroom close to the front door but I was grateful for that.
I don’t know if anyone realized I now had girl’s jeans and a girl’s top on. They were not overtly feminine, but they were definitely a girl’s set of clothes. Mom congratulated me on my cooperation. She smiled knowing she had not given me much of a choice. “So do you want to tell me about trying on my clothes or do you want to wait until we get home?”
I ask, “Why would you think it was me? I can’t imagine either you or dad would want me to try on a prom dress or consider going with some weird guy to a prom.”
My Mom says, “I said before, not once have you denied it was you. I think you would have done so by now. The only thing that has stopped you from denying it, is that you know better than to lie to me. ...No, I can’t imagine either of us giving you permission to do this. However I do not assume the other boy would be weird, nor do I think it is wise for you doing things like this behind our backs.”
Carl says, “Not saying I did, what if I promise never to do it again?”
Mom says, “You haven’t been able to be open about what you have done. I don’t think you can make that promise sincerely. I think it was only a matter of time before you got caught. You are going to try on the dress and we can go from there. Now let’s change the discussion.”
We are back to the mall and Mom parked in a parking area nearest the department store and I followed her in. Lavonne was with a customer; so we waited until she was done and they're leaving. Lavonne asks us to follow her. She checked the fitting rooms, waves us in and pulls a curtain behind us.
The light blue gown is there. “I am glad you are here. I hope you can own up to wanting this experience, but I am just going to accept that you are here. Now if you would just step up so I can measure you and make sure we can use the gown I brought in here... That is good; I think this gown should do the trick.”
Lavonne's phone rang, she checked her phone, smiled and put the phone back. “Now, if you would, take off your clothes down to your underpants including your socks. Mrs. Greene if you would brush his hair into a bit more feminine style after he does that?”
‘Mrs. Greene?’ I did not remember us saying our names, but it's now a mute point. I'm quickly down to my underpants. Mom shared she had a set of panties and knee high stockings if it would help. Lavonne said please. I cooperated though I was surprised mom had either let alone both.
Lavonne had me put on a full slip. With the slip sliding down over me, I felt a transformation begin, it was like a wave washing over me. It's like with the slip caressing down my back that I felt the excitement of any girl being fitted for a prom dress.
I'm happy big time as mom and Lavonne are putting the gown over me. From the chiffon tooling, to the snug fit at the waist, to placing my hands through the chiffon sleeves it's all so wonderful. Lavonne had no sooner zipped, buttoned and hooked up the back and I swung around in a circle to see the response of my dress.
Mom says, “Well young lady, I don’t think you can deny any longer that it’s you and that you like it.” I couldn’t believe I had done that. Looking to my mother was hard, but I found her smiling. “Well you certainly chose the right gown for you. The only questions are will you buy it and go out in it?”
I did not want to think of those questions I just wanted to be in front of the mirror and see how beautiful it was. I am pleasantly rewarded. The person in this beautiful gown has the making of a pretty girl. The gown nicely fitted her body, though some enhancement up top would make the gown and I look all that much better.
Mom asks “Do you have a name young lady? I don’t see my son and I am uncomfortable calling you Carl dressed like that.”
I'm afraid to speak. I was searching for my girl voice and deciding what name to say. “Carlene” I finally shared.
Lavonne says, “A very pretty name for a pretty girl. So is it a sale or do you need to wait to be invited to a prom?”
I asked, “How much is it, I forgot already?”
Lavonne, “This one had already been marked down to $229 and with 10% off, you would be getting a $345 gown for just over $200.”
I say, “Just $200 hundred, a boy doesn’t spend money like that.”
Lavonne says, “Well that is inexpensive, for such a beautiful gown. Any of the other gowns that were as beautiful would have cost you $100-500 more. And you were correct its quality is as good as the others for a lower price The golden yellow gown would cost $400 more... If you are thinking of dressing up as a girl just once, I don’t think you could have chosen better. I wonder what your mother thinks; she’s been kind of quiet.”
Mom shook her head, “I can’t believe she already looks so good without makeup and the extras.”
Lavonne asks her, “What do you think about buying the dress?”
Mom says, “That is up to her/him, I wouldn’t mind putting something toward it. He’s a good saver and if he buys the gown I would buy the shoes, some jewelry, the accessories including the purse.”
“Well young lady I think that is a nice offer. It is as good as many girls get if their mothers are wise enough to make them responsible.”
I say, “I am not a girl. I don’t think anyone would invite me and I wonder about the kind of guy who would.”
Lavonne says, “Fair enough on the first two, but the person in that gown sees herself as a girl. I do not think it is fair to deny that.” She led me back to doorway of the changing room. “Do you see any weird guys out there?”
“No just two boys and while neither of them looks weird they aren't going to ask me to their prom.”
She says, “I am not so sure because one might be my nephew. He text me and said you didn’t look weird, but he would want to meet you before he decided whether to invite you to the prom.”
Carl says, “Tell me it’s not the one to my left with the girl.”
“Why wouldn’t you want it to be with him?”
“Because he’s a hunk". I couldn't believe I said that out loud, "I didn’t mean it like that. I think girls would find him cute and I couldn’t compete against other girls like her.” There was a girl with the guy we're talking about.
“Well, he’s the one who would need to reveal himself.” With that the guy starts to walk toward us. I turned around to go back into the dressing area, but my mother blocks my retreat.
The boy says, “Hello, I and my best friend think you look pretty nice in that gown. She thinks you could look very beautiful at a prom and she could help you with things if you didn’t mind.”
I turn back around to say to them, “I can’t believe I am doing this. I am not some weird guy who regularly does this kind of stuff.”
He says, “I don’t think I am weird either, but I do happen to like guys, especially looking like you. If you are going to see yourself or me as weird, it won’t work out. I wouldn’t even ask you out. But I think I would like to ask you out for a date. I would hope we could do a regular date before the prom so we could be comfortable with each other.”
“This is my friend Dawn and while she is only a sophomore, she’s already been invited to the prom. So she would be there to help you as well, but it’s really up to you.”
I say, “No offense, you have more courage than I do. It has not been easy today just to admit that I would like to see myself all dressed up as a girl for a prom. But I have no interested in dating guys.”
“I understand, but I expect it is kind of hard to see yourself and feel yourself like a girl at a prom unless someone takes you. If you have a friend who will take you that would be fine. I won’t apologize that I would like to go out with you. And then I think I would like to invite you to go with me to my prom.”
I was standing looking at him and thinking to myself, when Dawn came next to me. “If you’re going to go out with a guy he’s not a bad looking hunk to go out with is he?”
“No, he’s not,” I began to say as Dawn introduces herself to me and suggests I change and then we could talk. It occurred to me I had been standing out there in a gown talking. I didn’t know exactly how long, but the world didn’t end and no one seemed to mind.
Lavonne took me back to help me change. We talked about what it would cost me to put the gown on hold. “If my Mom is willing I would like to get the gown and put a payment of sixty dollars for now. I can pay her and the store when I get some money from my bank account.
She hands me a pair of three inch heels and asks me to stand in them for a moment as she takes the needed measurements and puts some pins wherever needed. She calls Dawn in and has Dawn hold me in case I lose my balance. “Dawn, could you do us a favor and pick out a 34B bra that would be nice to go along with this dress.”
Dawn is soon back, with my mother coming to see why the change is taking so long. Dawn smiles at me, “I think you are going to enjoy this experience and you will look quite foxy.” I blushed a little. Mom smiles as she realizes I'm being fitted for the gown because I'm buying it.
“Does this mean you are planning to go on a date and the prom?” Mom asks to use my phone and calls home sharing with them we're running a bit later.
“Are you going to need another outfit or will the jeans and top due?”
Dawn, “Carl's mom I think, she needs at least another skirt so she can get use to being a girl and not look like a boy?”
“I know what you are saying is right, but this is quite a sudden change after getting stuff for boys all the time. I thought he came shopping to help me and now I find I have a girl going to a prom.”
Dawn giggles as she asks, “That’s funny, has she kept herself a secret all this time?”
Mom says, “Not quite, I knew someone was into my clothes. I thought it might be Carl, but we never outed him.”
Dawn says, “That is quite a thing. I bet it is quite an emotional time for both of you. What does her dad say about this?”
“It has probably been over two months since he and I talked anything about this. I am not quite sure what he’ll say or how he will react. I am glad we'll not be taking an expensive gown home tonight.”
Lavonne asks this time, “He won’t get angry and beat up his son will he?”
Mom says, “He knows better than to do that. Since Carl is with me, he will honor my decision. That I have said yes to the dress and the date.”
Dawn says, “I don’t mean to push her luck, but Carlene, what would you think of a name like Danica or something? I don’t mean to force a change, but Jeff's my best friend. It's easier for people to guess who a TG person is if their girl name is like their regular name.”
I say, “Danica, but that sounds more Danish or Scandinavian than German?”
She says, “Germany like most of Europe is a conglomerate of prior kingdoms, the smarter of them married outside their kingdom to strengthen the blood line.”
I tell her, “We have a great ancestor who married a woman from Greece.”
Dawn corrects me, “You had a great ancestor from Greece and she married a German. It’s harder to research the women in your ancestry, but your own identity as a girl speaks of their unspoken importance in the family. Mrs. G. if Danica goes out with Jeff this weekend, can she stay overnight at my house?”
Mom spoke, “Dawn, why don’t you and I pick out a couple of outfits for her and something for a sleepover? Son I can’t believe I am saying this. I want you decide now if you are going on a date and possibly to the prom with Jeff.”
Lavonne finished fitting me for the prom dress. She and I looked at some jewelry but I didn’t buy anything. She said I should do that with another girl, plus I should get my ears pierced.
I stepped out of the gown and I'm changing into my clothes when emotions wash over me like a wave and I begin to cry like a girl. Dawn calls Jeff and they both came and engulfed me in their hugs.
Dawn says, “Wow you remind me of Jeff. Being a girl is big and it surprises a boy. You are such a beautiful girl, including the depth of your emotions. Mom, I bet this is the first time you get to console your little girl.”
“Let’s pay for things and then go for a walk, young lady.”
I correct her, “Mom, I am not a young lady!”
"When you wipe off your mascara we can talk about what happen to the boy I walked in with, okay?”
I started to tell her I didn’t have mascara on. While she knew that I did try to wipe it off to make sure. “Should we get some for you?”
“Please, let’s not get anything more tonight.” We paid for the things we bought and put the down the money to hold the gown. “You know honey that is a beautiful gown. They were pretty when I grew up, but I would have died for a gown that beautiful.”
We walk around the mall and then go for a drive before going home. “Which are you going to feel more comfortable talking to about this, me and your dad or just me for tonight?”
I says, “I don’t want to talk about it mom. I just want to go to my room and be left alone.”
She says, “Well that is not going to happen. I don’t go to bed with secrets from your father if I can help it. I want to know when this started and what you do. Try to relax, you are not in trouble. We just need to know. I suspect it has made for anxious times having a secret like this.”
We go home and Dad seems to know enough to take interest in our getting back. “Charles, we need to take some time with your son. It has been a big afternoon.” Dad takes a good look at me and then asks if the car is alright. Mom smiles, “Things are all in one piece, everyone is okay; things are just different.”
Dad asks how different as we walk into their room. Mom told my brothers “Get upstairs or go watch TV.
This does not pertain to you.” With that she closes the door and they knew enough to get away.
Mom quickly shares, "It's about who was wearing my stuff. Mrs. Richards found our son checking out prom dresses and the poor boy was soon over his head in satin and chiffon.”
Dad initially is getting angry, but mom shares, "We could visit together or I would visit with her alone if it is too much. Your son not only discretely got to try on a beautiful gown, but he might also have a date to a prom at another school.”
Dad asks, “Are you telling me our son is gay?” I'm staying quiet as they talk.
Mom says, “No, I am not saying that. I have come to realize, he’s at least a crossdresser. He has a strong desire to wear women’s clothes. He says and Mrs. Richards shared he seems to be straight. But going to a prom, he will be going with a boy. The boy's a football player and a good looking guy." Dad is frustrated.
"I would like to visit with our son alone, so he can share more about who he is. I won’t tell you not to worry, but I will tell you, he, like you, is a very sensitive young man.”
Dad looked at me and he took hold of my hand. I could tell he wanted to say something but he either didn't know what to say, or he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. “Dad, I wish I could take this day back. I tried to promise mom it would not happen again, but she said I honestly couldn’t promise that.”
Dad says, “I guess we knew, but we couldn’t turn things back either.” I thought that was a big thing for my dad to say. He got up and walked out.
Mom says, “Let’s start out on a casual note. Is it alright to call you Danica tonight or do you have another girl name?”
“That's fine mom, but I am not use to anyone calling me by a girl’s name. I kind of like the name Danica, I have wondered what name you would have given me if I were a girl.”
Mom asks, “So how long have you been dressing in my clothes and thinking of yourself in terms of being a girl?”
I say, “I don’t quite remember Mom. People always remarked my eyelashes should be on a girl. Others said it was too bad you didn’t have a daughter. I didn’t want to be a girl until people kept telling me boys don’t cry and can’t play with girls. I like playing and talking with girls, but since I seven I’ve been teased that boys don’t play with girls."
When I started to like girls more as a girl, I had trouble talking with them. I wanted so much to be their friend. I didn’t have much luck in making friends with girls from fourth grade on. Somewhere between the long hair of girls, the smell of perfume and powders, I found I like their clothes. I didn’t mean to get in your stuff. I knew I would be in trouble when you caught me, but I couldn’t stop.”
She asks, “When did you ever get to dress like a girl? It seems like you have done some things before. Today caught you by surprise.”
Carl says, “Once when I was home sick from school and you went to work I found the opportunity to fully dress as a girl. I don’t think I ever looked better than a boy in girl’s clothing. Today was the first time I saw a girl when I looked at myself in a mirror.”
She says, “You didn’t recognize Mrs. Richards’ did you? She is Paul’s aunt and my good friend. I don’t think I ever said anything about someone getting in my clothes. She just seemed to recognize why you were there.”
A brother calls from outside the room, “Mom, some girl wants to talk to Carl. I told her he’s busy, but she said she needed to talk to him about Saturday night.”
Mom says, “Bring the phone here, please.”
It was Dawn to share that her mother said it was okay for Danica to spend the night. Mom asks about the accommodations and then she talks to Dawn’s mother. Mom agreed it was okay.
I asked, “How come every far out idea was agreed to today? I was given permission to try on a girl’s gown. My Mom agrees I could try on the dress. I was sure even I liked the dress. I was so sure only a weird guy would want to go out with me. I was sure I would not want to go out with a guy. I even look pretty in the gown.’
"Some boy, I never met went out of his way to see if I would be a good prom date. The guy is normal except he likes guys, especially like me. I meet him and can’t say no. I make friends with a girl, but it’s her guy friend who becomes my date.”
“You are not only letting me go with him to the prom; you let me buy a $200 gown. He wants me to go on a date with him, and it seems in a strange way to make sense. The night is topped off with me getting to stay overnight at a girl’s house. If I said any two of those things would happen, people would think I was crazy.”
We visited another thirty minutes when Mom finally said we had talked enough for tonight. She told me to get ready for bed and to come back and say goodnight. I had to shower and by the time I was ready; everyone else was in bed, except mom. She was out in the dining room doing her nails. I went to give her a kiss and she told me to sit down until she was finished.
It had been a while since my mom cut and trimmed my nails. She does a better job than me and I like the attention. I always hope she would put a coat of polish on them and at least twice she did. It was always a clear coat.
Tonight she cut, and shaped my nails, but when she got to my feet I knew something was up. There was a different color of polish and she put cotton between my toes. “I think you are going to need a pedicure to get those feet in shape for stockings, young lady.” She's now shaping and then polishing my toe nails. It was a light mauve pink. I'm delighted and embarrassed instantaneously. Mom kept me up until she was sure my nails were completely dry before she sending me to bed.
When I woke up early, my mom told me to get back to bed and not get up until she called me. I heard her tell two brothers I had been sick when I went to bed and would be going to school late if at all. Drew went to school and Ray set out to report back to his naval base in Providence. David left with my dad on a job.
Mom called me to the kitchen and gave me a hug and told me to eat breakfast before getting ready for school. Mom had a cup of coffee while I ate breakfast. We shared about the day before and mom asked if I liked my toe nails painted. She said I needed a pedicure or two before the prom. I did not know what a pedicure was, but said it was okay by me.
She told me to get ready for school as she would take me just before 10. “Make sure you wear a good pair of socks. It would be hard to explain your nails being painted.” I was ready by 9:30 a.m. Mom wrote a late note and told me to make sure I had a swatch from my gown in the school bag. I put the swatch in an envelope and in a separate pocket that I never used.
Several kids ask me if it was true about the girl and me going on a date. I told my friends I didn’t know what they were talking about. Suddenly I was important and noticed by others. Come lunch time several extra friends are sitting with me. I checked my cell phone as I felt the vibration.
I knew the call had to be mom as I did not get any other calls. “Hi sport its Dawn; I just wanted to check on you and your day. I hear you are a good friend and of lot of kids know you.”
My friend Al was there and realized I was talking to a girl. He heckles me as I tried to talk.
“Hi Dawn, the day is going good but I am being asked about the girl and the date I am going on.”
She giggles, “What they got is right: there’s a girl involved and you are going on a date. If they assume you are going out with a girl then they won’t be looking for you to be with Jeff. Hey... I got to go but don’t be surprised if I swing by your school after classes let out.” I tried to say good-bye but she had already hung up. Al spread the rumor was true about me and the girl, though I denied it.
When school was over, I was a few minutes late in getting out. I forgot about Dawn until I heard a horn beep and Dawn call my name. She waved me over as classmates took notice. Dawn was as pretty as I remembered and it was good for my ego that others saw her as being interested in me.
She introduced Bonnie as she told me to jump in the back. We were riding away when she asked if I brought the swatch from the gown. I hesitated then told her yes but she still had to tell me to get it out to show Bonnie. When we stopped at a traffic light. Dawn showed Bonnie the swatch and a picture of me in the gown.
“You are already pretty in that dress without much work. Dawn was saying you picked out the gown? How did you and Jeff luck out you two getting together?” We were riding and Dawn, not me, got to answer most of it.
We stopped at my bank as Dawn shared I needed to get some money out of my account or transfer it over to checking. She went in with me and tore up the first slip as I filled it out for $200. “That is just enough to pay your mom for the gown. What about the other outfits and things you still need?”
When I was looking naive she went on, “You need to get some heels, a purse…” The woman next to us entered in mid conversation. When I went from asking about $300 to $500 Dawn indicated that was more like it. The woman next to us smiled.
I went to the teller and she paused at my request, but when she typed in my account number there was a note my mother had already called and approved the transaction. I received $250 in cash and $250 transferred over to my checking.
Bonnie joined us outside the bank and we went around the corner to a shoe store. I did not understand why we were concentrating on just the white heels. A sales girl asks if she could help us. Dawn shared that we're there to get some shoes for a friend. Dawn asks if I could have my feet measured as I was the same size as Danica who was working.
I do not know how much my surprise registered on my face, but I was told to sit down and take of my shoes and socks. I did as asked and they all smirked when they saw my painted nails.
The salesgirl says,“You really went all out for your friend didn’t you?”
“It was Danica and her mom’s idea,” I explained. My foot was placed in it and I was told to stand so they could check my size. “Size 8 ½ normal width for a girl. "How did you find out you had the same size shoe as your girlfriend?”
“Once she had slipped them off at school and I slipped them on so she would only see a pair of boy’s shoes when she went to look for them. I was surprised when they fit. It was good for the prank, until she took my shoes.”
Dawn showed the styles we wanted to look at and suggests a 3” heel. I spoke up and suggest a 2” heel. She went and came back with four pairs but just one 2” heel. Dawn had enlightened me that Jeff suggested the 3” heel. He said they might get suspicious of a cute girl going with a 2” heel.
All of them fitted nicely, but we narrowed it down to one style. Dawn asked me for the swatch, and the sales girl smiled as I produced it. Dawn asked about getting one with a small bow and we're told it would cost an extra $2.50. Then asked if it was to be put on before or after the shoes were died. We both liked the bow in white and the shoes in the light blue.
I asked about a pretty styled flower that was on one pair. We're told that was another $5.00, an extra fifteen all tolled. Dawn said just the small bows, but I spoke up an insisted on the flowers. Jenn the salesperson suggests maybe I was being a little loose with my friend’s money. I reached for my wallet and said I would cover the difference.”
Jenn complimented me and said I would enjoy the shoes. “They are not only going to be very pretty, but it's a better shoe and would give your feet more support and comfort. That is important if you are going to be wearing them more than two hours.”
Dawn asked about a small evening purse. We were shown a number of purses and we selected a small silver sequined purse. I paid just under a hundred dollars for the shoes dyed and the purse. I thanked Jenn for her help. It was only later Dawn and Bonnie informed me that I kind of admitted to Jenn that the shoes were for me. I insisted that Jenn knew what I meant, and they laughed sharing “We all know.”
Next stop was a mall seven miles past where I had gone yesterday. I asked “What do we need to get here?” I was informed my ears were to be pierced and then we'd get a bite to eat. Since I was sixteen and had proof of age and identity. I did not need my parents’ approval.
By not paying attention I almost had two or three earrings in each ear. Instead I got a small silver ring in each ear and purchased two other pairs, one for the prom.
I was starving but found myself eating a modest salad like Dawn and Bonnie. It would have been snarfed it down in no time. The girls insisted I take small bites and eat like the girl, I would be at the prom. I even had to leave a little as I was told a smart girl did not worry about eating every single bit. There were at least four bites I didn’t get to eat.
We did refill our diet pops as I was told we had one more stop. We did some window shopping and seemed to be on our way out of the mall when I was pulled into a shop for manicures and pedicures. The girls were getting manicures. I was quickly slated for a manicure and pedicure.
As another person stooped to take off my shoes and socks; I realized what a pedicure was. The young lady smiled when she saw my toes. She put my feet in a small tub of a thick gel. She placed one of my hands in a solution as she began working on cutting my nails on the other hand. We switched hands, but the hand in the solution was covered in a wax like substance. It softened the cuticles, the skin on the fingers and toe nails were easier to work with.
It was like a special massage for hands and feet. It took a while longer but it seemed to move along fast and felt very good. Both hands had been transformed. They were looking more like they belonged to a girl instead of me.
Another worker had begun to work on my right foot. I did not understand how some of the tough, rough and dried skin could now come off without tearing at the tissue underneath it. I was seeing it with my own eyes, from around the heels of my feet and the balls of the big toes.
I had a number of scrapes on my feet that had my feet looking even worse than the usual. Two coats of polish were given to each nail. The polish did not appear dry when they began the second coat, but that was not so. The polish had a vibrant wet look that was even better when they buffed the nails. It was not even 7:40 when we were done and ready to go home.
Bonnie pulled me into a family restroom. She told me to sit and hurry to do my business. She handed me an outfit Dawn and my mom bought the day before and told me to change. She turned her back while I changed. When I sat she seemed to know I was putting on pantyhose.
When I struggled with the bra she asked if I needed help. I asked her to wait until I at least had my skirt on which she did. She showed me an easy way to put on my bra but said “Your arms and hands will probably soon adjust and you will have no problems in doing it yourself. It's nice to have someone to help with hooks, buttons and zippers in the back.”
I was given both a blouse top and a light sweater. It was decided to leave four top buttons and two bottom buttons of the sweater undone. Bonnie quickly brushed my hair and did a light make-up job on my face. I was hoping for more. I nicely passed as a girl and Bonnie complimented me on how I look.
When we stepped out I was Danica. I thought I would faint when Dawn took my hand encouraging me to relax. She handed me a purse and they led me into a department store and to the cosmetic counter. The saleswoman asked if she could help us, Dawn told me to show her the swatch. She had to tell me to look in my purse.
Deb took off my make-up and I was afraid of looking like a boy. Deb went step-by-step with first a concealer, the foundation and then the make-up. I asked if I needed more make-up. “Young lady you have a nice complexion, it doesn’t take much and I encourage you to keep it that way.”
“Thanks, I didn’t know.” Deb put on light lavender and a light pink over that. “You can go more traditional but I think this is cute and it works for you.” Dawn and Bonnie both agreed. A light blush was put on my cheeks to end the makeover. We spent a few more minutes selecting make-up, including a small make-up bag and a case to use at home. Dawn used a little perfume and I was set.
We walked the mall before Bonnie said we needed to go. Once in the car I asked for my clothes and was told to sit back and relax. I was panicking as we drove up to my house. I wanted to cry but Dawn said it would ruin my make-up. Bonnie got out of the car as did Dawn.
“We are proud of you Danica. You’re our friend and we’re with you.” I relaxed only a little then walked with them to the house. Mom met us once inside the door. I was introducing Bonnie when Drew and my dad walk into the room. Dad knew who I was, but I looked too good for Drew to recognize me. Dawn introduces all three of us to my dad, mom and brother.
“You should recognize Danica, she’s your sister.” Drew’s jaw dropped. We sat down and visited for ten minutes. Drew and my Dad could not help but stare especially as the hem of my skirt rode up my legs. Dawn and Bonnie left. Dawn saying, she would see me Saturday.
Drew waited until they were out the door then asked what was going on. I think he expected something was happening that caused me to dress as a girl. Mom told Drew to sit. She explained. “You won’t usually be seeing her coming through the door but Carl can be Danica at home.”
Drew asked, “But what about his date on Saturday?”
“She has a date Saturday and was asked yesterday to a prom.”
“That girl is taking him to a prom? I hope it is not as a girl?”
Mom told me to speak up. “I am going on a date with Dawn but I am not her date. I am going as Danica both for the date and to the prom.”
Drew hurriedly says, “If you’re going to our prom I’m not!”
“I’m going to another prom. The guy knows it but hopefully others won’t.”
“No, but I can’t go to a prom less I go with a guy.” Mom explained the difference between a straight crossdresser and a gay boy. “If he was gay, he would get our support just the same.”
We had a family talk for the next half hour. Mom finally told me to get my studies done and get to bed. Mom came into show me how to take off my make-up and treat my skin. I took a shower and dried off before returning to my room.
My brother was in my room waiting to visit. We talked another twenty minutes before we went to sleep. When I hung up my outfit, We were both surprised to see two other outfits in my closet.
Mom and Dad talked to me the next two days when they had a chance. They suggested the possibility that Jeff and I would kiss. Mom said, "You might find yourself liking the kiss as a girl." I did not think it was possible and was angry they thought to bring it up. I did enjoy my time with Dawn and Bonnie, and acting as a girl among other girls.
The next morning I was tempted to put on my girl clothes, but knew there was no way I was going to school as a girl. School was different as I had more friends around me. Two girls took special interest in being friends. I liked being more popular.
It was the last period when a friend, Denise asked about the pink in the corner of my eye. She gave me a mirror and tissue. I looked and wiped the area and Denise smiled. I made a lame excuse that Denise was nice enough not to challenge. We knew each other since we were in elementary school.
I worked Thursday and Friday after school and early Saturday until 1:00 pm. I was home quick, showered and got my girl stuff ready, when Bonnie came to pick me up. I was changing in Dawn’s room when Mrs. Miller knocked and asked to help me. I was in my panties when she stepped in.
“I have something I would like you to try.” She asked me to sit and then lay back. She was marking my chest. Dawn came in as her mother was placing breast forms on my chest. Dawn smirked as she used a concealer to hide the seams.
I thought they were taking it a bit far but I kind of liked it. I had to wait a moment to let the adhesive set. I was sitting up as Mrs. Miller handed me my bra. I moved to set my breasts into the cups and hook the bra behind me. My blouse was on and I was about ready to ready to put on my skirt when Dawn stopped me.
I started to put on the skirt when I became aroused and putting on the skirt now had a complication. “Too bad Jeff’s not here to help you,” Dawn said with a smile. She took me to the bath room and gave me a wash cloth. I pulled down my pantyhose and panties.
My body shook and I started to mess my panty. Dawn, “I’m sorry but my mom warned me it might happen. She said you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You're just excited about being a girl.” Dawn told me to take off my panties and pantyhose and to clean myself. She went and called her mother who came back in and asked me to be seated as she had to get something.
“Your date wore this when he was smaller. If you want to look like a pretty girl, this will complete your look and keep you little friend in place”. She had me lay back as she put a gaff on me. She glued it in place as I appeared and felt like a girl in every way. I finished dressing and went out to visit with the family.
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