“Mum’s home?” I said in surprise, as Claire pulled onto the driveway.

Seeing my Mum back from work before 7pm at the earliest was unusual. She was a bit of a workaholic, albeit a very successful one. As the divisional CEO of a large segment within a FTSE100 consumer goods business, the financial rewards almost matched how hard she worked. My Dad, before he died, had been the Group CFO of the same business, him and my mother having met each other at work many years ago.

We had never struggled financially, but my Mum and Dad had always refused to spoil either my sister or me. Today’s spending spree was extremely unusual, in more than the one way. My sister and I had both had part time jobs that we juggled around school work and our extracurricular activities and we had stopped receiving an allowance as soon as we could work. I had only stopped my job when the local department store where I worked closed down a couple of months ago. With this being such an important school year, my Mum had suggested it was probably not a great idea to find a new role just yet.

“Yeah, she worked from home this afternoon. She texted me earlier.” said Claire, as she turned the key to turn off the engine. “She had some conference calls that didn’t need her in the office. However, she said it was primarily to see you. Don’t tell her I told you this, but...”

My stomach dropped. My anxiety jumped, as I thought there was bad news coming. What could it be? I started fearing the worse, without knowing what that could even be! What my sister had said about catastrophising outcomes that you can’t control sounded exactly like what I do most of the time.

Claire continued, “... she told me she felt a bit guilty about not seeing you. She wanted to speak to you last night, but she was knocked out by that migraine. She also wanted to see you this morning, but she said you were out for the count, when her driver picked her up at six-thirty this morning.”

“Phew!” I thought to myself.

“Again, I don’t know if Mum wants you to know that we’ve been talking about you,” Claire went on, “but she’s pretty much up to speed with the developments over the last couple of days. At least, anything I’m aware of.”

“How did she react?” I asked nervously.

“How do you think? Just like me, she was the model of a complete lack of surprise.” Claire stated. “She didn’t have the benefit of seeing you flirt with James, when he dropped you off, so that development was a bit more surprising, I think. She’ll be very happy for you, just like I am,” as Claire put her hand on top of mine, to reassure me.

We left the vehicle, and started to take bags from the boot. When Claire unlocked the front door, we both shouted “hello” into the house. After not getting a reply, we stopped to hear that Mum was clearly mid conference call. So as not to disturb her, Claire and I deposited all of the shopping bags in the lounge, instead of taking them directly to my bedroom.

It looked obscene. Such a huge amount of stuff, that it took us each two trips to get it all into the house. My Mum’s conference call must have ended soon after we had finished.

“Hiya you two!” we heard mum shout through the house. “Sam? Can you come up here?” she asked, calling me to where she was, in her study. “And Claire, I’ll love you forever if you could get me a cup of tea?”

“Hi Mum!” I said cheerily, as I walked through the opened door into her study.

“Hey Sam!” she said, turning immediately from her laptop screen, and walking over to me. “Oh, let me see my youngest daughter,” and she took both my hands with a broad smile. “Sounds like we’ve had a lot of changes, since we last spoke. So sorry that I wasn’t here for you.”

I interrupted, “Please Mum, don’t be so silly!”

“Hmm.” she added. “Anyway, you look beautiful. I am so proud of you and your bravery.” she released one of my hands, and placed her hand over my heart. “We now know there are both a beautiful young lady, and handsome man in here. Two sides of one amazing personality.”

If this went on, I was going to cry.

My mum continued, “Your sister and I are so proud, just like your father would have been, that you’ve been brave enough to be so honest with yourself. And, I don’t mind telling you, I am so happy you felt comfortable sharing this with us.”

I burst into tears. My Mum wrapping me in a tight bear hug, where I could have stayed for hours.

“So,” my Mum went on, after releasing her grip. “I understand from your sister that this side of your personality is a, erm, visitor. Is that right? Not a full time adjustment?”

“Yes, that’s one way to describe it, I think.” I replied.

“Okay. I’m sure this is feeling all very fresh. You must have all sorts of new thoughts and feelings flying around your head. Must be pretty confusing?” Mum enquired

“It has been. Claire has been amazing! I don’t think I’d have started to make sense of it all, without her.”

My Mum smiled with a nod. “Well, all I need from you is to continue being honest with yourself, and to trust us, however things develop. Your sister and I are always here for you. There is nothing I won’t do to protect you. Nothing.”

“Thanks, Mum,” I smiled.

Mum’s look changed to be ever so more business like, “And I’m told you have a date tomorrow. One day presenting as a girl, and I’m told a hunky guy has zeroed in on you already. At least, that’s how your sister described it?”

“Ha ha! Well, yeah, I suppose. What do you think about that?” I asked, genuinely desperate to get her approval.

Mum thought for one moment. “Is this what you want, right now? You’re not feeling under any pressure? And is he a nice boy?”

“Yes, no pressure. And yes. I know things have moved very quickly, and even at this time yesterday I wouldn’t have considered thinking of this guy in this way. I don’t know what or when it was, but something changed. It feels right.” I replied with a smile.

My Mum, smiling broadly again, “Well, I am very happy for you. Just promise me you will be careful.”

“I will be. I promise”

My mum went on, “And this boy, is he gay? Are you, what, boyfriend and boyfriend? Boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Well, I don’t know. I suppose he might be, I don’t know. This has been a series of huge surprises. And the boyfriend-girlfriend thing,” I paused, “I don’t know. I currently can’t imagine me being with him - or him fancying me - as a boy. We’d have got together sooner, surely?”

“Oh? You already knew this boy then?” My Mum asked.

“Oh. Didn’t Claire tell you? It’s, erm, James.”

“James? James, James?” My Mum couldn’t hide her shock. “Well, yes, you’re right, that is a surprise. Do you know if Emma, his mother knows? Is he being open about this date?” My Mum asked

“Yes, that James,” I half laughed. “It has been a huge surprise for me, too. And I don’t know either of those things. Claire thinks he was happy for folks to see us and potentially assume we were a couple last night, but I don’t know if he’d rather people not know we’re going on a date.” I answered honesty.

My mum widened her smile. “Well, he’s a lovely boy. Charming, polite, very handsome, and well, from the size of him, I think he can look after you! Whenever I see him, I struggle to believe he’s only 18. I’m so sorry I even need to think of that aspect. Because, Sam, you’re no doubt now following what sadly could be a more difficult path, and there are silly, nasty people out there that think your choices are their business. Please, promise to look after yourself. No more getting drunk when you’re out, like you used to. Yes?”

I nodded, apologetically.

“Sorry, I wouldn’t have been comfortable nor saying that.” she went on. “Anyway, today, I hear the shopping centres quarterly results were delivered by lunchtime!” my Mum joked

“Yeah, sorry about that. We may have got a bit carried away. We kept all the receipts, we can...” I got out, before being interrupted by my Mum.

“Shush that nonsense. You’ll get what you need and what you want. I’ve clearly missed something going on here, and these are perhaps items you should have had years ago. And Sam, I know there are things that have happened over the last few weeks, I just think that perhaps this wasn’t the start of all this. We are where we are though; let’s not waste our energies understanding how we got here. Okay?”

I nodded, again.

“Good. Did you enjoy yourself?” my Mum asked.

“Yes. It was great! And no, not because I wasn’t paying, before you say it!”

My Mum just stuck her tongue out at me, and then laughed.

“So?” she went on, “does this mean you’ll stop stealing your sister’s clothes? Sorry, I think you’ll know it as ‘borrowing’.”

“Mum, I can’t possibly imagine needing more clothes than I now have!”

“Ha ha! Oh you silly girl. That’s the daftest thing I’ve heard in a long time. You have lots to learn,” she winked. “That’s your sisters, what you’re wearing now, isn’t it?”

“This shirt-dress? Yes”. I said

My Mum looked towards to doorway, “Sam, don’t tell your sister this, but you look much better than in stuff like that. Claire has your father’s bottom, and can’t fill out things like you. Do you have any padding in there, or is that all you?”

I smiled. “All me.”

“Well, I’m glad at least one of my girls got my bottom, or rather, your grandmother Lizandra’s bottom. There’s still a little of her half-Brazilian genes in you,” We both laughed. “Your hips and waist are to die for; you’re so lucky.”

“Hmm, I didn’t feel lucky, being teased over the past five years.” I added

Just then my Mum’s laptop started buzzing to tell her that her 4pm conference call was about to start.

“I have to join this call. But Sam, remember what we’ve discussed. And you know I’m always here for you, if you want to talk about anything. I know I’m often busy, but you and Claire really are my top priorities,” she paused. “Do me a favour? Tell Claire she can bring that cup of tea straight in, once it’s ready.”

After a quick hug I left and went downstairs, leaving Mum to her conference call. I shouted through to the kitchen, so Claire had Mum’s instructions for her cuppa.

Despite feeling completely exhausted, I started the task of getting all of the shopping packages into my bedroom. After three trips, all I had accomplished was moving the real issue from one room to another. I didn’t have the room for these new clothes, for two full wardrobes. I was too distracted by the packages to deal with that, I’d seen and mostly tried on all the clothes and shoes just a few hours ago, but I just had to look at them again.

After a few moments, my bed was covered in my new dresses, my bras, my panties, my skirts; I wanted to wear them all straight away. I was actually hoping that Mum will want a fashion show later tonight, and wondered what she will think of the selections.

A thought occurred to me, will James like my taste in clothes? Will he think I look hot? Will he see me in fancy lingerie, and how long would that be? Come his next birthday, would I be wearing stockings and suspenders for him? That image of him naked came to me again, this time with me stood writhing up against him in just my bra and panties. I was in a world of my own, imaging what I was about to do next as my hand slid slowly down his muscular chest, over his well developed six pack to gently encircle my hands around…

“Earth to Sam!” my sister waved from my bedroom door.

I was jolted out of my daydream.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about something. What’s up?” I asked, feeling a bit flushed.

“Your phones been going berserk downstairs. You have three missed calls from James. Here you go,” as she tossed the phone carefully over to me. “And why don’t you divert to answer phone after a few rings? It just rang and rang.”

“Cheers Claire. And sorry, I don’t know. I don’t really receive many calls. Just messages.”

Claire headed back downstairs.

“Hey Babe!” answered James on the second ring of me retuning his calls, catching me off guard with the ‘babe’, “Thanks for calling me back.”

“Hey yourself!” I shot back, feeling more nervous on a phone call than I can ever recall.

In his normal, deep, confident tone, James asked, “How are you feeling? You 100% again?”

The excitement of today had caused me to forget that I’d been unwell this morning, “I’m great thanks. Ended up having a lovely day with my sister and a nice catch-up with my Mum. How was double maths?” I jokingly asked.

“Ha! Maths was amazing. You missed out big time. Glad that it sounds like you found something nearly as much fun to replace it.”

I laughed, and James then joined in.

James went on, “I was calling to agree a plan for Saturday.”

“Okay. I’m really looking forward to it.” I said

“Me too. I’m so glad you accepted.”

“I was surprised you asked me, if I am honest,” I shared.

“Well, I was surprised you accepted, so I guess we’re evens!” he said with a laugh

“My sister wasn’t so surprised, I must say.”

“Your sister? Have you been talking about me then?” he sounded almost proud to have been a topic for conversation.

“Erm, yeah. We’ve had some pretty serious chats about several things over the past 24 hours.”

“Sounds a bit intense. Hope it’s all okay?” Sounding concerned.

“Yes, everything is fine, thanks James. Actually, things are feeling pretty good.”

“Great! I’ll try not to fuck that up then!” James shot back.

We both laughed.

“Have you been chatting about me with anyone?” I wondered

“Yes. I told my Mum and Dad about an amazing, special girl I’d met at the pub, and I also mentioned it to Martin. He brought up with me that he’d felt a bit of a gooseberry last night, and had eventually gone to the Kings Arms. He’d seen us walk home together from there.” James updated

“Are you okay that people know?” I asked

“Yes,” James responded with no hesitation. “Are you? I mean, it’s not a problem if you’re not. I mean, I’d be embarrassed about dating me, too. In fact, some of my ex girlfriends probably have been!” he joked. “We’d just change the plan; go further afield, where we won’t bump into folks we know.”

“I am okay for people to know we’re going on a date. And yeah, I bet it was awful for them to be seen in public with a tall, handsome, beefcake!” I joked.

“Oh? You think I’m handsome?” James shot back.

“Erm, well, yeah. I do.” I felt embarrassed, but couldn’t think of anything more cool to say. It was either this or probably something much more embarrassing.

James laughed. “We may as well get this straight now, Babe. You’re the beauty. I’m the brains!”

“Oh god! We are in trouble then!”

We both laughed.

I went on, “So, has this massive brain got a plan?”

“Yes, he does. How about I pick you up at 8pm? Grab a few drinks at this new place, that I keep forgetting the name of,” said James

“Sounds great. Are you not drinking though?” I wondered.

“No, not really.” James advised.” No more than a couple when I’m out. I’m doing this muscle-gain training plan. Killer reps, standard high protein and low carbs diet, but they say alcohol seriously impacts the gains. I’ll bore you all about it on Saturday.” he half-laughed.

“Just what you need, more muscles. I’ll bring a book!”

James laughed.

“Will you be at school tomorrow?” I went on, “or do you have one of those field trip things? First Friday of the month, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s it. We’re going to North Wales to measure the rates at which non-tidal river sediment deposits are...” James started to explain his latest Geography field work agenda.

“James, actually, can I just stop you there?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure. What is it?” James asked, with concern in his voice.

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to stop you, because that sounds as boring as hell!”

James burst out laughing.

“It’s intense stuff. So, no sending me any more sexy photos tomorrow. These rivers won’t measure themselves!” James

“Excuse me?” I said with feigned indignation. “I think I recall being asked to send you a photo. But your request is noted, no sexy photos, because they distract James from playing in the river.”

“I take it back!”

I laughed. “No, I don’t want to distract you. And anyway, some of us have to be in school tomorrow. We can’t all be gallivanting around in the countryside!”

“Says the girl who took a sickie to go dress shopping!” James cried.

I laughed. “Okay. I’ll let you have that one. It wasn’t just dress shopping though.”

“Oh no?”

“No. I also got...” My mind had gone completely blank. I scanned around the bed I was sat on, to remind myself of what we’d bought. I looked left, and it was the same on the right... “Lingerie”

“Lingerie?” asked James

“And some shoes, a couple of pairs of boots, erm...” I struggled on.

“I don’t remember you sending me any photos of you in your bra and panties? No. Sounds like there’s been some kind of awful oversight.” he teased.

“Well, if you play your cards right, you might not need photos, one day.” I decided to play a strong hand, to try and recover the upper hand in the conversation.

There was a slight pause. My anxiety response kicked in. In a split second I’d convinced myself that he was disgusted at the thought of seeing me in my underwear. He’s probably imagining a less than perfect tuck creeping out the side of my panties, or the surgical adhesive joint in my breasts not being blended to be completely invisible, and feeling nauseous at these thoughts.

“James?”

“Sorry Babe, I slipped off my chair,” he joked, “You should really warn a guy when you’re going to say things like that - I could’ve been operating heavy machinery!”

I giggled.

“And which day is this ‘one say’ exactly?” He teased.

“I think that’s enough of your teasing for one day,” I said. “I’ll see you at 8 on Saturday then.”

“I can hardly wait. Enjoy the rest of your night, Gorgeous.”

“Bye for now.” I said, before hanging up.