Chapter 3 On the Floor

“Kennedi,” someone said. It was faint.

“What happened?” another voice said.

I opened my eyes but the world was spinning.

“Kennedi are you okay?” the first person said again.

My chest heaved as I struggled to breathe. It felt as if I had something pushing down on it. Oh, I must have forgotten to take off my binder.

I reached behind me but my shirt blocked access. I tried to take it off but it was tucked into my pant— I wasn’t wearing pants. Suddenly I remembered where I was and what I was wearing and sat up.

Joy’s mom was in my face. She backed up.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

My breathing picked up and I struggled to pull in air. Well, you had a good run, Walker.

“Calm down.” Joy’s mom said. “What’s wrong with her? Does she have asthma?”

I couldn’t catch my breath. She's gonna kill me! I gotta ru— the world faded again.

***
My nose was suddenly filled with what smelled like cat piss. I turned on my side and coughed. I opened my eyes and there was a man in blue jeans in front of me. He had a small vial in his hands.

“See, I told you it would work,” he said. He put the small vial in a white pack with a red plus symbol on it.

A medical bag, I thought.

“Wa- Kennedi are you okay?” Joy said.

Luckily I was still in Joy’s room. They had put me on her bed.

“You okay down there?” the man said.

I nodded.

“What happened?” he asked.

“P-panic a-attack.” I stuttered.

His eyebrows went up and then he nodded. “Can you get up?”

I sat up, shifting my weight to lift my body. My arms shot to my sides to brace myself.

Joy’s dad’s hand darted out in a blur, supporting my back. “Are you going to be okay,” he asked.

The worried look on his face scared me. “Y-yeah.”

My breathing was starting to get out of control again but as I looked at Joy's dad I calmed down.

After he was sure I wasn’t going to pass out he removed his hand and looked around the room. “Joy, why is your room such a mess?”

“Dad…” Joy responded in that whiny ‘not while my friends are here’ tone.

Her dad? I took a few deep breaths.

“Clean up, get her some water, and come down to eat,” he said.

For some reason, his presence didn’t seem to bother me as much as Joy’s mom. Perhaps it was because I knew how to get along with guys.

I noticed Joy’s mom was in the doorway with a hand on her chest. She looked worried but didn’t come into the room.

Joy’s dad joined her in the doorway. “By the way,” her dad said, “I’m Mark and this is my wife Heather.”

They smiled at me.

I waved at them and then put my hand back so I wouldn’t fall.

“Kennedi is it?” he asked.

I nodded.

“See you downstairs,” he said and closed the door.

My breathing eased up.

“What the hell was that, Walker?” Joy spat. She looked really angry.

“P-panic attack,” I said. “All of you surrounding me and your mom…” It was just like that night… Streams of tears fell down my face.

Joy’s face softened.

“W-what happened?” I asked.

“You fell and mom heard it.” She sat on the bed in front of me. I scooted back to give her more room. “Then she got my dad. You were barely breathing… I was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

Lacy came into the room from Joy's bathroom with a cup in her hand. I hadn’t even noticed her leave. She gave Joy the cup.

“Dad said you should drink this,” Joy said.

My head was pounding. Passing out always gave me a headache afterward. I shifted my weight to one hand and rubbed my temple with the other.

Joy reached out, holding the cup in front of me.

I stopped rubbing for a moment and accepted the water. I took a swig from the glass and then set it on the inlay part of her headstand. Then I continued rubbing.

“Want me to do that?” Joy asked.

I nodded.

She maneuvered behind me and I braced myself again. Her hands were delicate as they touched my head. When she rubbed my head I felt like pudding seeping out of its container.

The other girls picked up the scattered clothes and stuffed them in their packs.

“I gotta go,” I said.

“They are going to want to take you home,” Joy said. “Just stay the night.”

“What if they find out?” I asked.

“You saw yourself in the mirror.”

The edges of the skirt I was wearing rubbed against my legs reminding me I was wearing it. I smoothed it out where it had hiked up some.

“Sh- I mean he needs to swap back to the nightgown,” Sam said.

“Wh-why?” I asked.

“It’ll look pretty weird if you don’t change for the slumber party,” Sam said.

“Well, you can just say I dropped by,” I said.

Joy stopped. “How are you going to get home?”

“I walked here.” Her house was a few blocks from mine.

“They are not going to let you walk home. I know my parents,” Joy said.

Shit.

“You’re gonna walk home like that?” Lacy said.

“I could wear my clothes—” I stopped, realizing how stupid that sounded. “I could sneak out?”

“No, no, not happening!” Joy said.

“Why?” I asked.

Joy moved so I could see her. “My parents are going to want to know where you went. If I tell them you left, they are going to be mad at me, especially with you passing out like that.”

She had a really good point.

“I could have Vic pick me up tomorrow morning?” I suggested.

“What's he going to think about you being dressed like that?” Alyx said.

“I’ll just change before I go.”

“I don’t think sneaking out is an option, Walker,” Sam said.

Shit. Shit.

“Well, how long are your parents going to be here tomorrow?” I asked.

“Tomorrow's Saturday they'll be here all day.”

Shit, shit, shit. My breathing intensified.

Joy's hands shot back up to my forehead and she started rubbing again. “Hey, It’ll be okay. We’ll find a way to get you home.”

Between the head rub, and her reassuring voice, I believed her.

***
The clothes came off except for the bra and panties. The girls said the bra would help me be more convincing if they saw I had something up there.

“Walk— I mean Kennedi. Can you use that voice you used earlier?” Joy asked.

“What voi—” I remembered the voice I used for her mom. “This one?”

She nodded. “You’re pretty good at that. Wait, why are you so good at that?”

I gestured at my body. “I used to have screeching competitions with my sisters.” My shoulders rose and fell in a defeated shrug.

Joy pulled the back of the bra I was wearing and let it snap against my back. “Keep using the other voice.”

“Ouch! What the hell?”

“Yup, just like that,” Joy said.

I was weirdly getting used to being naked or at least in my underwear. Well, Joy’s underwear— with a bunch of girls. Which was something I never thought I would feel before.

Alyx handed me the nightgown I wore earlier. “As much as we all like to marvel at the weird body of Walker— What's your last name?”

“Walker,” I said.

“Oh, what’s your first name?” asked Alyx.

“I don’t like it,” I said and took the opportunity to pull the gown over my head and push my arms through the holes.

“I didn’t ask if you liked it,” she said.

“Magnus.”

“Magnus? What the?” Lacy asked.

“Now I see why you use Walker,” Gina said.

Sam bit her lip. “I think it’s kinda cool.”

“Wha- Why?” I asked.

“Kinda reminds me of magnets or magma,” Sam replied.

“You’re hot like lava, baby!” Lacy said and giggled with Gina.

I rolled my eyes. “Are we re—” The back of the bra snapped again. I winced in pain.

“Voice,” Joy said.

“And try to copy how we talk too,” Gina said.

I tried to rub my back. “That's not helping.”

Joy rubbed where it was hurting. “Well, you better figure out something because we have to go downstairs and eat.”

“Maybe I should—”

“No, you gotta come, or they'll get suspicious and think something's wrong,” Joy said.

Something was wrong; a guy was masquerading as a girl in their house. I wondered if their presence would be enough to remind me. “I’ll just do my best to keep quiet.”

“They are probably going to ask you a lot of questions, so be ready for that,” Joy warned.

“What do you mean a lot of questions?” I asked.

“Like where you live and stuff like that.”

“Oh.”

“Let’s go. I’m starving,” Lacy said.

“Shut up. You’re always hungry,” Gina replied.

They stuck their tongues out at each other.

Alyx rolled her eyes.

Joy walked to the door, and I followed her. “Here we go.”

***
The scent of pizza sailed through the air as if it were calling us. I was happy to be taking the stairs because I didn’t think I could have handled climbing down the wall. Especially with how tonight was going. My whole body was tense.

I found myself wishing I were with my friends playing Playstation. At least you get pizza, I thought.

It was a short trek to the dining room where a large table had several boxes of pizza in the center and a stack of paper plates next to it.

Joy sat down first and I sat next to her. The other girls spread out around the table.

Her parents weren't there.

I relaxed a little.

Joy passed out several plates and spread out the boxes. There was cheese, pepperoni, and one with everything on it.

I got up, grabbed a couple slices of pepperoni, and sat down.

After everyone was seated Joy turned to me and smiled.

“Hey girls,” said her parents.

I almost jumped out of my skin screeching. My hand instantly shot to my chest as I tried to recover. Joy bumped one of her feet against one of mine, distracting me.

“Hey,” most of the girls replied.

“Hi,” I said a little late.

They walked around the table and sat together at the end and didn't even bother to grab plates. Then I remembered they went out before bringing us pizza.

“Are you feeling better Kennedi?” Joy’s mom asked.

It took Joy kicking me to jog my memory that I was Kennedi. “Much better.”

“What happened back there?” her dad asked.

I swallowed the big chunk of pizza I’d eaten and said, “I- er-” Think Walker, think! “I was trying on some of their clothes and they surrounded me.” It had happened and telling the truth seemed more believable.

“Claustrophobia?” her dad asked.

“Ye-yes. Sorry to surprise everyone.” Lies were much more convincing when they contained part of the truth.

“Oh, don’t worry about it so long as you’re okay,” her mom said.

I nodded.

“Joy honey, we got another magnet for your collection,” her mom said.

“Mom…” Joy whined.

“You like magnets too?” Sam asked.

Joy’s head went down, and she nodded.

“What type?”

Joy shrugged.

“I think magnets are cool,” I said.

Joy looked at me with her eyebrows up.

“You would!” Lacy pushed on my arm and giggled.

A few of the other girls joined her.

“Why’s that?” Joy’s mom asked.

Shit.

“Inside joke,” Joy said.

“Yeah, Kennedi is kind of geeky,” Lacy said.

Sam squinted at Lacy. “Magnets aren’t geeky.” I made a mental note. Sam didn’t say that I wasn’t geeky.

I tried my best to ignore the girls' scowls and eat my pizza. Usually, I was super hungry but tonight, finishing this first piece felt like I was forcing it down.

“Kennedi, do you live around here?” Joy’s dad asked.

I nodded.

“She lives down by the school,” Joy lied. I lived in the opposite direction of the school, and I rode my bike every day. I wondered if Joy was trying to throw him off the scent or something.

“That’s a nice neighborhood,” her dad said.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Doesn’t ole Ralph Jameson live over there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Joy’s mom said.

“Do you know the Jamesons?” he asked me.

I shook my head.

“How do you know Joy?” asked her mom.

“School,” Joy said.

“Why hasn’t she been around before?” Joy’s mom asked.

“I—”

“We haven’t been friends till recently,” Joy said.

Joy’s mom smiled at me. “Well, I hope we see more of you.”

Not likely, I thought and nodded.

“How’s that new boyfriend of yours Joy?”

“Moom!” Joy screeched.

I covered my mouth and several of the girls giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Joy’s mom asked.

My throat was suddenly dry and I couldn’t seem to move.

“Uhm…” Joy said.

“He’s at his friend’s house,” Alyx chimed in. She was one of the girls who didn’t laugh.

I spotted a stack of red solo cups and a couple of two-liters of soda on the counter. I forced myself up and I just sort of stood there staring at them.

“There’s ice in the fridge, Kennedi,” Joy’s dad said.

It took a few seconds for my brain to process what he had said. I turned to Joy.

“Go ahead,” she said.

The pit of my stomach suddenly felt hollow. I hated when people told me to help myself while at their houses. It never felt like I belonged.

There were a couple of trays of ice in the freezer. They were all still talking at the table but I was willfully ignoring the chatter.

“Kennedi,” someone said.

I turned to the table.

“I want some too,” said Alyx.

“Me too,” Lacy said.

It turned out everyone wanted ice so I bought the ice trays to the table and added a few to my cup. I brought the soda to the table to be extra helpful.

“So what are you girls’ plans for the night?” Joy’s mom asked.

“Play some more games?” Joy asked.

Most of the girls shrugged and nodded.

If we continued playing “games” like we were, I wasn’t sure I would survive the night.

The soda stung as it slid down my throat. I couldn’t believe that her parent’s we—

“Oops,” Sam said. She had dropped a slice of pizza on her nightgown. I only knew because there was a large red streak going down it.

She pulled the nightgown out so she could see the damage. “No, no, no!” she screeched, got up from the table, and ran down the hall.

I glanced at Joy but she was looking in the direction that Sam went. Lacy, Gina, and Joy got up and chased after her.

Alyx and I shared a moment as we watched each other. I wasn’t sure what to do and when she continued eating I hesitated.

“Why did she get so upset?” I asked.

“She has a hard time getting clothes that fit her,” Alyx said. She had this apathetic tone to her voice that confused me.

“Oh. Should I…?” I asked.

Alyx and Joy’s parents didn’t say anything.

I got up and strode off after the girls.

***
Joy’s house was big and finding the girls was harder than I thought it was going to be. I checked Joy’s room first but when I didn’t see them I went back downstairs. They ended up being down the hall from the dining room. If it weren’t for the sound of the water I probably would have just walked right by.

I knocked on what I assumed was a bathroom door. It creaked open and Gina peeked up at me.

“It’s Walker,” Gina said.

Gina and Joy swapped positions. Joy slipped out of the bathroom blocking my view while closing the door behind her.

“Is she okay?” I asked.

Joy nodded. “She only has one nightgown and no other pajamas.”

“Yeah, Alyx told me. She didn’t seem to care though.”

“Alyx is the only girl that’s not like the rest of us.”

I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”

“You know…”

“A misfit?”

She nodded.

Lacy popped her head out of the door. “Hey, can we get a fan?”

“Sure,” Joy said and darted down the hall.

Lacy and I shared a look before she closed the door on me.

***
Joy came back but not before I took a seat next to the door. She awkwardly carried a box fan into the bathroom without saying a word.

I was still a little hungry but didn’t want to be anywhere near her parents. The whole situation creeped me out. I wanted nothing more than to leave but getting Joy in trouble was one of the last things I wanted to do.

After around ten minutes of sitting there, I started to get antsy. I was about to get up when Alyx walked down the hall and sat next to me.

“Hey?” I asked.

She grunted.

Alyx and I met last year when we were forced to work together in science class. She didn’t say much until I started letting her take over the experiment. She didn’t want that much responsibility but I usually defaulted to letting someone else take over. It mostly stemmed from me being insecure.

I glanced at Alyx. “Why are you so…”

“What?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Pissed off?”

“You would be too if you were me.”

“What do you mean?”

Alyx’s head swung in my direction.“Every sleepover this happens. If it’s not Sam it’s Gina if it’s not Gina it’s Jane. I’m fucking tired of it.”

What could I say? I’d only met most of them that day.

Jane, I’d met freshman year. Well not so much “met”. We sat next to each other in English. She’d used me as a passthrough to send notes to her friend. It was probably the only reason she even knew my name.

My friends were having a sleepover too, and they were playing Diablo. We’d all pitched in to get the game. Two people could play at once and we’d even made a turn list. James and I were supposed to share a sorcerer character. They were playing that between the D&D tournament Steve was running.

We sat in awkward silence for another ten minutes before the girls came out of the room. A gust of air and a humming sound followed them.
Sam avoided eye contact while Gina and Lacy walked with her to the stairs.

Joy offered Alyx and me a hand. I took her hand while Alyx ignored her. As Joy pulled me up, Alyx got up on her own.

The two girls exchanged a look, and then they turned to the hallway.

After Sam, Lacy, and Gina disappeared around the corner, Alyx said, “What the hell!”

“I’m sor—”

“This is the fourth sleepover in a row, Joy!”

The buzz from the fan distracted me.

Joy gestured down the hallway. “They have some prob—”

Alyx stomped her foot. “Some problems?”

Joy crossed her arms in front of her. “Don’t be a bit—”

“Are you going to shut that off?” I asked.

“Bitch!” Joy continued.

“Don’t call me a bitch!”

“I’m not calling you a bi—”

“Can you please shut that off?” I asked.

Both girls turned to me. “What!” they chorused.

I pointed at the bathroom.

They, in turn, looked at it and then back at me.

“What the fuck, Walker?” Is what I heard behind me as I pushed through them. The fan was leaning against the wall, so I knelt down, turned it off, and pulled out the plug.

When I stood up there were two very angry-looking girls staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

***