“Ten!” The assembled women shouted, barely making themselves heard over the roar of the nightclub. “Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!”

“Aw, girlies!” Ellie squeaked excitedly as the countdown neared its conclusion.

“Five!” The young women yelled. “Four! Three! Two! One… Happy birthday!” Ellie squeaked as the clock ticked over to midnight and she was showered with streamers and glitter. It had just turned midnight on Sunday, the 24th of February 2019, meaning that Ellie was officially nineteen years old- and best of all, surrounded by a large group of friends helping her to celebrate.

Of course, as Ellie’s birthday was on a Sunday, the girls had spent most of the Saturday beforehand actually celebrating, but that didn’t stop Ellie from feeling a tingle of excitement as her actual birthday began. It was her third birthday in her true identity, and while the previous two had been special, this one was shaping up to be the best yet.

There were many reasons for this, but they all boiled down to the many changes in Ellie’s circumstances over the previous twelve months. She was living in a proper house, with someone who had an income large enough to spoil Ellie for her birthday. Ellie had an income of her own, was studying a topic she loved and was more independent than she’d ever been. But despite all that, it was the people in her life who were most responsible for making the day special. Ellie had more friends than she ever had at any point during her life, old friends who’d known her for a long time like Kacey and Monique, new friends from university like Sade and Sally, and best of all, had gained a sister in Jade, and a de facto sister in Lindsay. The biggest difference between her nineteenth birthday and the previous two, however, was that for the first time ever, ‘Ellie’ would be celebrating her birthday with her parents.

Ellie had had more contact with her parents in the two months since Christmas than she’d had in the previous two years, and with each visit, she felt more at ease. David and Sharon had finally come around to the idea that Ellie was their daughter and were at long last treating her as such, and the following day, they were planning on taking Ellie and Jade out for a fancy meal to celebrate Ellie’s big day. As much as Ellie looked forward to the dinner, though, it still made her feel anxious.

While Ellie was happy that her relationship with her parents was improving, she worried about where the improved relationship was leading her. Her parents hadn’t said anything specific, but Ellie had the distinct impression that they expected her to eventually move back in- and that was a decision Ellie was incapable of making.

On the one hand, Ellie was enjoying a better relationship with them than she had done in years, even better than during her last years as ‘Liam’. She was able to talk to them candidly about her life, her studies, and even her transition- all helped by the fact that her younger sister was going through the exact same thing she was. Over the previous two months, Ellie and Jade had grown closer than ever. They'd been on shopping trips together, swapped clothes and make-up and helped each other with their studies. Ellie and Jade had even had sleepovers at their parents’ house- the first time Ellie had slept under their roof in over 2 years. Ellie was certain that if their parents did want her to move back in, Jade would be desperate for it to happen. Ellie’s father had even begun the process of turning her old room back from a storage room into an actual bedroom again, though it was still far from being a room Ellie could call her own. However, as much as Ellie might have wanted to move back into her family home, another larger, more rational part of her reminded her that it wasn’t really her home, not anymore, and David and Sharon weren’t really her parents- Janet was.

Prior to their night out, Ellie and the other girls- even those in the group who were under 18, like Lindsay and Jade- had been treated to a fancy takeaway meal and a large chocolate cake, all provided by Janet. Every time Ellie had trouble with her uni work, Janet was there to help. Every time she had a falling out with one of her friends, or trouble with boys, it was Janet’s shoulder she could lean on. She could talk to Janet in a way she never could to David and Sharon, not even when she was living as 'Liam', and if she left Janet, she would miss her (and Lindsay) terribly, and would feel guilty at leaving her after all the help she'd been given. But then again, every day she continued to live with Janet was another day she was snubbing her parents- and her sister...

Ellie arrived home shortly after 2am and headed straight to bed, the alcohol in her system causing her to fall straight asleep despite her excitement over the following day. She was woken the following morning not by her dry mouth or pounding headache, but by the sound of movement coming from downstairs- and her excitement over what the sound represented soon made her forget all about her hangover.

“Happy birthday!” Janet and Lindsay yelled simultaneously, causing Ellie to simultaneously giggle and wince as she descended the stairs to the living room.

“Aww, thank you so much!” Ellie replied as she exchanged hugs with the two women, before surveying the scene. The living room was just as heavily decorated as it had been the previous night, with shiny pink streamers and banners reading ‘happy birthday’ strewn everywhere, and two balloons in the shape of a ‘1’ and a ‘9’ taking pride of place against the wall. What attracted Ellie’s attention the most, though, was the pile of presents on the sofa. “You really didn’t have to-“

“Yes we did, Ellie, yes we did,” Janet interrupted, making Ellie sigh and giggle. “Though I’m guessing by your breath that what you really want first is some coffee, so sit down, I’ll get you some breakfast, then you can start opening!”

“Thank you, thank you so much for everything…” Ellie sighed happily.

“Seriously, you’re more than welcome!” Lindsay giggled as she led Ellie to the sofa. “I mean, you’re gonna make a huge fuss of me for my eighteenth in April, right?”

“Well, duh!” Ellie replied, sharing an excited squeak with her surrogate sister. “And yes, we will have a night out as well. A very noisy night out!” Janet sighed at the sight of the two giggling teenagers as she returned from the kitchen with Ellie’s coffee, though she, as always, got a warm feeling inside at the sight of the two girls getting along like the good friends they were.

“Yes, well, you’re still seventeen for the next 2 months, so don’t get any ideas in your head,” Janet cautioned her daughter, who rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Yes, dad,” Lindsay said, before grinning excitedly as Janet sat down and joined her in staring expectantly at the birthday girl.

“…Okay, hint taken,” Ellie said with a mock sigh, before letting out an excited squeak and tearing open the wrapping paper on her first present.

Ellie had a wide grin on her face as she unwrapped a new dress, a new pair of shoes, two new skirts and a new bikini for the coming summer. The DVDs, CDs and Xbox games she unwrapped only made the smile wider, and once all the presents had been unwrapped and the wrapping paper cleared away, she gave Janet and Lindsay each a long, tight hug.

“Thank you so much for all of this,” Ellie whispered, blinking tears out of her eyes.

“It’s the least we can do, honestly,” Janet said. “Believe me when I say, Ellie, that you deserve to be spoiled, you deserve to have this day to celebrate. Sometimes I don’t think you realise just how much happiness you’ve brought into our lives.”

“Oh- oh for god’s sake,” Ellie giggled as tears began to form in her eyes and she leaned in for another hug. Though as she hugged Janet, she couldn't help but think that she'd never get that sort of love from David and Sharon...

“Just remember how generous we’ve been in two months’ time,” Lindsay teased, giggling as Ellie rolled her eyes and Janet let out a mock exasperated sigh. Internally, though, Ellie sympathised with the soon to be 18-year-old girl, as unlike her, Lindsay didn’t have the support of a second family to rely on- she and Janet were all the girl had.

“I’ll remember, believe me!” Ellie giggled. “I will remember this for the rest of my life, I honestly will.”

“I know,” Janet whispered emotionally. “Now come on, you’d better get ready, your parents will be here in a bit to pick you up!”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ellie said, letting out a sigh that she hoped didn’t sound sad or disappointed.

“Ellie, are- aren’t you looking forward to today?” Janet asked quietly as she and Ellie sat down on the sofa.

“Meh, a bit,” Ellie shrugged. “It’s just- the big celebration was yesterday, you know? I mean, who has a birthday on a Sunday, anyway?”

“Well, you do,” Janet replied. “This year, anyway. And I know your parents will have gone to a lot of trouble, and Jade will probably be looking forward to this as much as you, if not more!”

“I suppose,” Ellie shrugged, before smiling. “And it is an excuse to get dressed up, heh!”

“Atta girl,” Janet said with a giggle.

“Do- do you think Steph will be round today?” Ellie asked nervously.

“I don’t know,” Janet replied in a quiet voice. “God knows she’s had a busy couple of weeks since Valentine’s Day, so I wouldn’t expect her to drop round. Though I’m sure she’s remembered, I can always ask her tomorrow if she's in the office.”

“I guess,” Ellie shrugged. “What are you going to do with your day, then?”

“Dunno,” Janet shrugged. “Got a ton of files to review for work tomorrow, there's also going to be a conference call with Paris as well over this whole sponsorship thing, so I’ll probably just prepare for that. And I think Lindsay’s hanging out with Keira today?”

“Yep, those of us who WEREN’T out last night,” Lindsay confirmed. “Seriously though, you just, like, enjoy today!” Ellie smiled at her friend’s insistence, though she could tell from the look in Lindsay’s eyes that she wished she could have the same relationship with her mother and brother that Ellie had with her parents and sister. Nevertheless, Ellie was determined to follow her friends’ wishes and enjoy her day, and after she finished her breakfast, she headed upstairs to get ready for the day.

After a quick shower to get rid of the last of the glitter in her hair, Ellie headed to her bedroom where she pulled on a soft bra and thong, before sitting down at her dresser and letting out a long sigh. The previous night, her look had involved heavy eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick, with plenty of fake tan and body glitter as well. However, as much as Ellie loved that look, she knew it wouldn’t be even close to appropriate for where she was going- even if it was her birthday. Ellie tried to console herself with the thought that she should consider herself lucky to be able to wear make-up at all on her birthday, especially when going to see her parents, but that thought only served to drive home the feeling that David and Sharon weren’t her parents anymore- not really, anyway.

Eventually, Ellie opted for a subtle but still feminine look, with modest eyeliner and mascara and a natural coloured eyeshadow, before pulling on a pair of thin black tights and one of her new birthday dresses, a tight-fitting dark burgundy dress with long sleeves, a knee-length skirt and a high turtleneck collar. Ellie completed her look by putting on a pair of dark-coloured pumps with a 3 inch stiletto heel and her favourite bracelets and necklaces, but before she closed her jewellery box, she saw pair of crystal drop earrings her parents had given her for Christmas. Ellie grinned as she removed her large silver hoops and replaced them with the special pair of earrings, as they served to remind her that even though it was her parents who’d be hosting her birthday dinner (and indeed, it was them who had given her the earrings), she’d also be spending the day with her sister- someone she loved just as much as Janet or Lindsay, if not more so.

Sure enough, when the Blake family arrived a short while later, it was Jade who knocked on the door and who greeted Ellie with a tight hug when she opened it.

“Happy birthday!” Jade squeaked excitedly, before letting out a high-pitched girlish giggle. “And I LOVE those earrings, hehe!”

“Thanks!” Ellie giggled. “I love yours too, hehe!” Jade smiled as she brushed her hair back to show off her earrings- something that had become a ritual for the two girls every time they met. Ellie couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of her sister’s earrings, and the wide grin they were putting on Jade’s face. With every passing day, the 16-year-old girl was putting 'Jack' more and more behind her, and every time she did, her confidence increased. Her shy, nervous little brother had blossomed into a beautiful young woman seemingly overnight, and while Ellie still felt occasional twinges of jealousy, for the most part, the happier Jade was, the happier Ellie was.

“Happy birthday Ellie,” the girls’ father said as he leaned in to give Ellie an awkward hug. “Hi Janet.”

“Hi David,” Janet said politely. “Have you brought Ellie’s presents with you or are they all still at your place?”

“Still at home,” David replied as Ellie shared a hug with her mother.

“You are going to LOVE what we’ve got you!” Jade said with a subtle wink that made her sister giggle again.

“I can’t wait!” Ellie said as she grabbed her coat, before pausing. With a roll of her eyes and a smile on her face, Ellie approached Janet and gave her a long, tight hug- a gesture the older woman was all too happy to reciprocate, even if the stare she got from David and Sharon made her feel more than a little awkward.

“Text me when you’re on your way home,” Janet said, biting her lip to hold back tears as Ellie left with her family.

“…Dad?” Lindsay asked as the front door closed. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” Janet replied. “Oh, umm, yeah, I’m fine, I just- ugh, I dunno.”

“Happy for Ellie?” Lindsay asked. “I mean, she’s got her family back and all?” Janet bit her lip as she could see that the topic of family was still a sensitive one for her daughter.

“Yeah,” Janet whispered. “Hey Lindsay, how- how’d you like to go out somewhere today, maybe we could go shopping, or-“

“Dad, I’m hanging out with Keira today,” Lindsay reminded her father. “And you’ve got lots of work to do for tomorrow, remember?”

“Oh- right, right,” Janet mumbled.

“Dad, seriously, are you okay?” Lindsay asked, frowning as Janet let out a long sigh.

“I- ugh, I dunno, maybe,” Janet sighed. “I’m just worried about Ellie, you know?”

“Why?” Lindsay asked with a shrug. “From what she’s told me, her parents are better with her than they’ve ever been.”

“Yeah, but things can change,” Janet cautioned. For one thing, the middle-aged woman thought to herself, Ellie might decide to move out permanently…

Janet bit her lip to control her emotions as she thought about what she considered to be the worst-case scenario. Ellie had been a part of her life for so long that she couldn’t contemplate life without her in it. For two whole decades, Janet had come to define herself by being a parent, first as father to Ethan and Lindsay, then as surrogate mother to Ellie. When Ethan and Lindsay had denied her the right to be a parent, it had set off a chain reaction that almost ended with Janet taking her own life. While she had eventually regained Lindsay’s love and acceptance, Janet feared that if she lost Ellie, it would send her back down the same spiral. Janet knew consciously that Ellie would never reject her the way her other children had, but deep down, she knew that the day Ellie moved out, her heart would break- and if it was to move back in with her parents, it would hurt just that little more. However, Janet knew such thoughts were selfishness on her part- after all, the living arrangements were only ever meant to be temporary...

Ellie took a deep breath and straightened her short dress as she stepped out of her parents’ car and followed them into their house, her former home, but a place that felt more like a real home every time she visited.

“Would you like anything to eat or drink before you start opening your presents?” Ellie’s mother asked as Ellie reluctantly removed her shoes, just as she'd done throughout her whole life.

“Umm, no thanks, I had breakfast at Jan- at, umm, at home,” Ellie replied.

“Okay,” Sharon whispered. “Well, I hope you’ve saved room for lunch, at least- you are looking a bit, umm, skinny…”

“She’s still getting used to being the mother of girls,” Jade whispered to her sister, making Ellie giggle nervously as she sat down next to a large pile of presents.

“Well- start whenever you’re ready!” David said, smiling warmly as his eldest child began opening her gifts.

Just as she had done earlier that morning, Ellie unwrapped her gifts to reveal more clothes, cosmetics and DVDs, but David and Sharon’s gifts also included a lot of personalised and homeware items, including framed photos of her and Jade, a wall clock and several dainty ornaments. Ellie reasoned that as she was technically an adult, it made sense that her parents would give her more ‘grown-up’ presents, but something about the gifts still made her feel uneasy. She soon received the answers she was looking for, though, when the last of her gifts were opened and she was abruptly ushered out of her seat.

“We- we have one final present for you,” David explained as he led Ellie and the rest of the family upstairs.

“Umm, okay,” Ellie said.

“It’s something we couldn’t really wrap,” Jade teased, her excitement levels increasing with every step they took. “Well- here we are! Aren’t you going to open it?”

“Open what?” Ellie asked as she was stood outside the house’s storage room- her old bedroom. “Wh- my- my room?”

“Go on, open it!” David urged, a wide, proud grin spreading across his face. Ellie hesitantly reached for the door handle and slowly opened it, gasping at the sight that greeted her.

Behind the door was a girl’s bedroom, but not just any bedroom- it was the very room Ellie had dreamed about having all throughout her childhood. Gone were the storage boxes and the old, dull single bed, and in its place was a double bed with plush pink sheets and fluffy pillows with a delicate lace edging. The room had been repainted a dusky pink colour, and the old wooden flooring had replaced by a plush new carpet. ‘Liam’s old plain wooden shelves and wardrobe had been replaced by a much larger wardrobe with a full-length mirror and a built-in shoe rack, and a dressing table with three mirrors took pride of place by the window. Ellie’s jaw dropped and tears began to fill her eyes as she surveyed the scene- the new furniture was very clearly not cheap, and was a lot better even than what Ellie had in her room at Janet’s house.

“It- I-“ Ellie stammered.

“Welcome home,” David said, before giving his oldest daughter a warm, loving hug.

“Th- thank you,” Ellie whispered. “Thank you so much!”

“You can start moving your things in whenever you’re ready,” Sharon said as she took over the hug from her husband. “And even if you do move out, get your own place, this room will always be waiting for you when you want it.”

“Isn’t this amazing?” Jade squeaked as she took her sister by the hand and led her into the room. “I was the one who picked out the colour scheme- obviously, hehe! And I knew you’d LOVE this!” Jade gestured to a part of the room that had previously been obscured by the door- a large corkboard taking up most of the wall, onto which Jade had already pinned multiple photos of herself, Ellie and several of their other friends.

“It- it’s amazing,” Ellie breathed.

“Ellie?” Jade asked. “You’re kinda less excited than I was expecting…”

“No, I- it- it’s amazing, it really is, thank you for all of this,” Ellie said as her conflicted emotions began to overwhelm her.

On the one hand, the day she’d dreamed of for almost three years had finally arrived. Her parents were welcoming her home with open arms and unconditionally accepting her as their daughter. She had a room, a personal space that was unquestionably hers, and even had a younger sister who adored her- something Ellie couldn’t even have dreamed of when she came out three years earlier. David and Sharon had finally forgiven Ellie- but the emotion that Ellie felt at that thought was anger.

Why did Ellie even need to be forgiven? She’d done nothing wrong. She’d done nothing more than Jade had done two years later, and yet while her sister was accepted, Ellie had been thrown out, discarded like a piece of litter. How dare her parents forgive her? If anyone should need forgiving, it was them, and Ellie wasn’t sure whether or not she was ready to do that just yet- especially when David and Sharon were trying to take her away from the one consistent source of support she’d known over the previous three years.

“I’ll get on the phone to Janet now,” Sharon said. “Explain that you’ll be moving back, we can sort out a time to get everything-“

“Yeah, umm, about that,” Ellie mumbled. “I- umm, I’m not sure, you know…”

“What, don’t- don’t you want to move back in?” Sharon asked.

“Well- umm,” Ellie mumbled as she chose her words carefully so as not to offend her family. “I’ll be moving out anyway in a few months to get my own place, or a place with Sade, and, you know, I’m settled at Janet’s…”

“But you only moved in there a few months ago,” Jade reminded her sister. “Don’t- don’t you want to live with us, Ellie?”

“No- no, it’s not that, I-“ Ellie stammered, before being interrupted.

“Then what is it?” Jade pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

“It- I- I don’t know,” Ellie moaned as she stormed out of the room.

"You yourself said that actions speak louder than words," Sharon said. "When we spoke with Dr Richmond, last September?"

"Yeah, but I-" Ellie stammered. "I like living with Janet..."

“Well, that’s gratitude for you,” David grumbled under his breath, grimacing when he realised he hadn’t lowered his voice enough for Ellie not to hear.

“You know,” Ellie said, desperately fighting her emotions, “I would like to at least have some say in where I live, rather than have you decide it for me.”

“Still selfish, then,” David sneered, causing his daughter’s face to redden with anger.

“If money’s all you care about, you can return the presents, I don’t care,” Ellie spat. “I- I’m going home. Sorry.”

“This IS your home,” Sharon insisted.

“But- but it isn’t, though,” Ellie said, before shaking her head and heading down the stairs, where she wasted no time in putting her coat and shoes back on and summoning an Uber to pick her up.

On her way back home, Ellie replayed the events of the morning in her mind over and over again in an attempt to convince herself that she had done the right thing, that she hadn’t overreacted and that her parents were unreasonable, but as hard as she tried, Ellie’s thoughts remained conflicted. Her parents HAD clearly gone to a lot of trouble. It certainly wasn’t ‘Liam’s room that they’d wanted her to move back into, it was a room that had been designed around ‘Ellie’, with her needs and desires front and foremost. And most of all, it had been Jade who had taken the lead in designing the room, not David or Sharon.

It was also almost certainly Jade who was the most eager for Ellie to move back into the house, and as much as Ellie loved her sister, she couldn’t help but be frustrated. Jade hadn’t gone through what Ellie had, hadn’t felt the sharp pain of being rejected, of being made homeless by her own family, so for her to think that Ellie could simply forget the previous three years and move back in was naivety at best, and pig-headed arrogance at worst. Ellie hoped that it was just naivety on her sister’s part, as if Jade turned out to be anything like David and Sharon, their relationship would quickly deteriorate- which was the last thing Ellie wanted to happen.

“Ellie?” Janet asked, frowning in confusion as the blonde girl let herself into the house. “Why are you back so soon? Is everything- Ellie? Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” Ellie mumbled, before breaking down in tears and leaning into Janet for a long, loving hug.

After a long cry, Ellie headed up stairs to use the toilet (and repair her trashed make-up), returning to the living room a short while later to find Janet waiting with a mug of tea and a plate of Jaffa cakes- Ellie’s favourite comfort food for when she was feeling depressed.

“Hey,” Janet whispered. “Are- are you feeling any better?”

“…Not really,” Ellie mumbled as she crashed onto the sofa. “My- ugh. David and Sharon, they- they want me to move back in with them. They redecorated my old bedroom, made it into, like, a proper girl’s room and everything…”

“But- but you don’t want to move back with them?” Janet asked.

“I didn’t say THAT,” Ellie replied defensively, wary of her guardian’s attempts to psychoanalyse her.

“No,” Janet conceded, “but the fact that you’re back home hours early in floods of tears kinda hints that you might be thinking it.”

“…Maybe,” Ellie mumbled.

“Ellie,” Janet said softly. “I- I always thought you wanted to move back in with your parents, to be accepted by them again?”

“I do,” Ellie replied, before shaking her head. “I mean, I did, I- I dunno…”

“It is a big decision, and you do need to think carefully about it,” Janet whispered.

“Do- do you want me to move out?” Ellie asked in a small, scared voice.

“It’s not about what I want,” Janet replied. “Your needs come first. All parents should put their child’s needs before their own. ALL of them.”

“Yeah, well, try telling David and Shar-“ Ellie snorted in reply, before being interrupted by a knock on the front door. “…Are- are you expecting a delivery?”

“No,” Janet replied, answering the door to discover Ellie’s sister stood on the doorstep, her make-up betraying the fact that she’d shed almost as many tears as Ellie had.

“Hi Janet,” Jade whispered. “Is Ellie here?”

“Come in,” Janet said, biting her lip as Jade walked into the living room and stared at her older sister, a mix of anger and sadness in her eyes. “I’ll give you two some privacy…” Janet took a deep breath as she shut herself in the kitchen, though it didn't take long for the teenagers’ voices came ringing through the wall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jade asked, eliciting a look of anger from her sister.

“Wi- me!?” Ellie retorted. “What, I’m meant to just sit back and accept being ordered around?”

“Order- what?” Jade asked confusedly. “How is a birthday present ‘ordering you around’?”

“They sent you around, didn’t they?” Ellie asked. “David and Sharon?”

“MUM and DAD,” Jade snarled. “And no, they didn’t. I came around myself ‘cause I want to know why my sister hates the thought of living with me.”

“I don’t-“ Ellie said, before sighing. “Of course I’d love to live with you, but- but I want that to be my decision.”

“So right now, you’re deciding not to?” Jade asked. “When you’ve got a room all set up and ready for you?”

“No one has the right to tell me where I should live,” Ellie said. “Just as DAVID and SHARON never had the right to tell me HOW I should live.”

“So if you wanted to move in, everyone should just jump and redecorate the room just because you want it?” Jade sneered, fuelling her sister’s anger.

“Well, obviously not,” Ellie growled. “How a normal person would do it is to ask if I could move back in, THEN work out how to sort it out. How a normal person DOESN’T do it is to say ‘here’s your new room’ and expect me to uproot myself at a moment’s notice!”

“I see,” Jade sighed angrily. “Guess mum and dad were right about you after all.”

“Get the fuck away from me!” Ellie screamed, momentarily startling her sister.

“…Fine, I’ll go,” Jade spat. “It was nice while it lasted, having a sister.”

“Yeah, same here,” Ellie grunted, turning her head away so as to not let her sister see her tears. Once the front door had closed behind her, Janet emerged from the kitchen, and immediately rushed to Ellie to give the girl another comforting hug.

“… I really should talk to the estate agent again,” Janet sighed. “These walls aren’t nearly as soundproof as they said they were.”

“Heh,” Ellie chuckled as she wiped yet more tears from her stinging eyes. “I’m going to go through a LOT of mascara today…”

“Well, you did get plenty more today,” Janet said, before sighing.

“J- Janet?” Ellie asked.

“You asked- you asked me earlier if I wanted you to move out,” Janet said. “And I avoided answering… The answer- the answer is ‘no’. I much prefer you living here than anywhere else. But- but that’s just me being selfish. Obviously, it must be your choice where you live.”

“I know I’ve said this before,” Ellie sighed, “but I really wish you were my mother, heh.”

“And I really wish you were my daughter,” Janet sighed.

“Even though you already have a daughter?” Ellie asked.

“Maybe… You can never have too much family?” Janet asked with a shrug.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be too sure about that if I were you…” Ellie moaned as she laid back on the sofa and let out a long, pained sigh.

Ellie spent the rest of the day glued to the sofa, whether it was watching TV, playing on her Xbox or doing coursework for the return to university the following day. Lindsay arrived home shortly before dinnertime, and when she’d been filled in on the situation, she immediately gave Ellie a long hug and promised to give her surrogate sister all the support she needed.

The three women all opted for an early night, though as hard as she tried, Ellie once again had difficulty falling asleep. She was used to dealing with her parents’ anger, and their arrogance in believing that she’d drop everything and move back in with them, but Jade’s anger was something she was unprepared for. Jade had stuck by Ellie all throughout the latter’s transition, even going behind their parents’ backs to do so, so for her to turn on Ellie had been heart-breaking. Ellie had occasionally suspected in the past that Jade’s motives for reaching out to her hadn’t been simply because she’d missed her, but because she wanted help to begin her own transition. Ellie had always dismissed such thoughts as groundless paranoia, but with Jade becoming increasingly settled in her feminine life, she wondered whether or not she had outlived her usefulness…

Regardless, it was a birthday Ellie was eager to quickly forget.

The alarm on Ellie’s phone went off at 6:45am the following morning, waking her from her fitful slumber. With a heavy sigh, the blonde girl trudged downstairs to the living room, where Janet was already awake and preparing breakfast.

“Morning,” Janet said with a gentle smile. “How are you feeling today?”

“Meh,” Ellie shrugged.

“Looking forward to going back to uni, at least?” Janet asked.

“Yeah,” Ellie replied. “We’ve got an LGBT society thing after uni so I won’t be back until late. Heh, god knows what they’d make of yesterday…”

“Well, no need to tell them, is there?” Janet retorted.

“I guess not,” Ellie shrugged. “I’m definitely telling my counsellor tomorrow, though.”

“Good,” Janet said. “I’ve, umm, I’ve got my counsellor later tonight, after work… Though I could always not tell-“

“No, no I don’t mind,” Ellie said with a smile. “She helps you, you help me, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Janet chuckled. “Though recently we’ve been mostly talking about, you know, other things…”

“SRS?” Ellie asked softly, smiling again as Janet nodded.

“Looking likely to be in the summer, after AngelCon,” Janet said. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified, heh… And god knows, at 45, it’s not like-“

“Whoa, let me stop you there,” Ellie chuckled. “I’m really not a counsellor, heh!”

“No, but you are still a friend,” Janet said with a warm smile that the younger woman reciprocated.

“A friend who’s trying to eat breakfast,” Ellie retorted as Lindsay entered the kitchen.

“Should I ask what I missed?” The 17-year-old girl asked as she poured herself a mug of coffee.

“Ehh… Better if you don’t,” Janet said, sharing a giggle with the two girls as they all ate their morning meal.

A short while later, all three women left the house, Lindsay heading to college and Ellie heading to university while Janet elegantly slid into her car, ready for the drive to work. As she made her way through the congested streets of London, Janet couldn’t help but worry about Ellie and how she was feeling after the events of the previous day. Janet had to fight her own parental instincts to call David and Sharon and give them a piece of her mind, as she knew they would turn around and accuse her of wanting to ‘keep’ Ellie for herself - and, as Janet was forced to confess yesterday, they wouldn’t be wrong…

“Hey Ellie!” Sade said with a smile as they arrived at the lecture hall and took their seats. “That was a great weekend, hehe!” Not quite, Ellie thought to herself. “Did you have fun with your family yesterday?”

“Ugh,” Ellie spat, earning a sad sigh from her friend.

“That bad?” Sade asked in a soft, sympathetic voice. “I thought things were going great with your family?”

“Yeah, well me and them have a different idea of what ‘great’ means,” Ellie sighed. “Ugh, it- never mind. Just, you know, want to get back into it, the work, like, forget all about the weekend.”

“Yeah, well, if you ever need a sympathetic ear, I’m here,” Sade said softly. “You know the shit I’ve had with my family, right?”

“Yeah,” Ellie said with a quiet chuckle as she remembered Sade’s stories of her family, particularly her older sister. “Hey Sade, if- if your family suddenly said ‘come on home, all is forgiven’, what- how, you know, like…?”

“I- I dunno, really,” Sade mused. “I mean, we left on SUCH bad terms, I- ugh. This might sound bad, I dunno, but- but I’d kinda like the relationship that you have with your parents, you know? Like, access, but not, you know, all the time…”

“Mm,” Ellie grunted, before shaking her head and sighing. “I dunno. Like I said, I just- just want to forget it, move on, like…”

“Okay,” Sade muttered as the professor arrived to begin the lecture. “Well, if you need to talk, you know where I am, right?”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered, though deep down inside, she had no intention of talking about it further, preferring instead to put it as far from her mind as possible.

When they arrived at the dining hall for lunch, however, Ellie realised that her friend had no intention of letting that happen.

“Go on, then,” Sade said as she and Ellie sat down with their meals.

“Go on… What?” Ellie asked.

“Your parents?” Sade asked softly. “You said you didn’t want to talk about it, but you know as well I do what that really means is you DO want to talk about it.” Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes in a hope to dissuade her friend, though deep down inside, she was forced to concede that Sade wasn’t wrong- though she wasn’t about to admit it.

“I do not want to talk about it,” Ellie insisted, before sighing again. “How- how are things with you and Bethany?”

“Fine, thanks for asking, and don’t change the subject,” Sade said.

“I’d rather talk about, you know, fun things,” Ellie mumbled.

“Yep, and under ordinary circumstances, so would I,” Sade said. “But you really did NOT look okay when you came in this morning.”

“…Okay, fine,” Ellie sighed. “Here’s another question for you: what would you say if your parents asked you to move back in with them? Like, said ‘you can be with whoever you want under our roof, here’s your old room’?”

“I- hmm,” Sade mused. “I’d definitely consider it, I guess.”

“Okay,” Ellie said. “Now what if they demanded that you moved back in? Like, said, ‘here’s your old room, you are now living here, no arguments’?”

“…That’d be- I dunno, really,” Sade said. “I mean, it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen, heh.”

“Yeah, I thought the same way about my parents,” Ellie sighed. “But that was my ‘main present’ yesterday, my old bedroom, every inch of it redecorated to be a proper room for ‘Ellie’. And I was expected to just move back in then and there.”

“Parents can suck sometimes,” Sade snorted. “I get why you’re pissed off, heh.”

“Even worse was Jade,” Ellie sighed. “Like, she was completely on my parents’ side, couldn’t see my side of things at all… Ugh. Best birthday ever, I’ve lost the sister I’ve only just gained.”

“Well- I can only speak as a little sister,” Sade said. “God knows I would NOT want to live under the same roof as Alicia, not for one second. But if you were my big sister? Yeah, I can kinda understand why she’d be excited by the idea. And I’m not just saying that because I think you’re cute, heh.”

“Thanks,” Ellie said with a tired chuckle. “Ugh, I dunno. Maybe I am being selfish? I-“

“No- no. N. O. Do not think like that,” Sade cautioned. “Do not let them think they’ve won. It’s your life. You have the final say. The ONLY say.”

“…Thanks,” Ellie whispered with a wide grin.

“But you’re also right, we REALLY need to talk about more fun things now, hehe!” Sade said, making her friend giggle. “Did the gorgeous Miss Abbott drop round yesterday at all?”

“No, but I kinda get why, given the circumstances,” Ellie chuckled. “She did give me a cool present though, a necklace with Angel wings on it.”

“SO cool,” Sade gushed. “Really wish Out of Heaven had done a tour this year…”

“As long as we get the fourth album this year, I’ll be happy,” Ellie said, relaxing as the conversation moved away from her family and back toward the familiar topics of music, clothes and coursework. Before they returned to their classes, though, Sade had one final thing to say, whether Ellie liked it or not.

“There’s just one more thing I want to say about- well, you know,” Sade said with a mischievous grin.

“Ugh, must you?” Ellie asked, eliciting a giggle from her friend.

“Yes,” Sade replied. “What I want to say is that you need cheering up, and the best way to do that is a big night out this weekend!”

“Umm, but we had a big night out this weekend just gone,” Ellie said.

“True,” Sade said. “But that was to celebrate, and this night out will be to cheer you up. Though under the circumstances, I… I would be okay taking ‘no’ for an answer.”

“’No’ to a night out?” Ellie snorted. “As if!” The two young women shared a giggle as they headed to their final class of the day, Ellie already feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

However, as Ellie's day drew to an end, the stress gradually returned. A night out would definitely cheer her up, as would the LGBT society meeting she was due to attend, but it wouldn’t solve the problem that faced her. As angry as she was at her parents, her talk with Sade confirmed to Ellie that as angry as she was with her family, she couldn’t afford to throw away all the progress she’d made over something that was ultimately trivial- and she certainly couldn’t afford to jeopardise her relationship with her sister over it. As she left the university campus, Ellie gazed down at her phone, and after a quick mental calculation, realised that she’d have just enough time before Janet returned home from her counsellor’s meeting. After texting Sade to let her know she wouldn’t be attending the society meeting, Ellie took a deep breath to calm her nerves before heading to the nearest tube station, and a short while later, she was stood outside her parents’ house, the presence of her mother’s car in the driveway confirming that the trip was not in vain.

“Oh- it’s you,” Jade said as she answered the door. “What do you want?” She’s not slamming the door in my face at least, Ellie thought to herself. This is a good sign…

“Can I come in?” Ellie asked softly, smiling as Jade nodded, her defences visibly falling as she was allowed into the house.

“Oh- hello,” Sharon said as Ellie entered the living room, using all her strength to keep her from hanging her head in shame, just as her mother was no doubt expecting her to do. “Have you come to apologise?” That’s a bit more like it, Ellie thought to herself as she tried to hide her disgust.

“Yes,” Ellie muttered. “But I also have something I want to say.”

“…I’m listening,” Sharon said in a curt voice.

“I’m sorry I overreacted yesterday,” Ellie said quietly.

“I didn’t hear that?” Sharon said.

“Mum!” Jade protested.

“We can keep doing things the hard way if that’s what you want,” Ellie said, biting her lip as her mother shrugged and let out a heavy sigh.

“…Okay, apology accepted,” Sharon said. “What else was it that you wanted to say?”

“I wanted to say,” Ellie replied, before taking a deep breath, “that I’m not a child anymore.”

“The tantrum you threw yesterday doesn’t agree with you,” Sharon retorted, making Ellie frown.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through the last three years,” Ellie said, trying her hardest not to shout. “Deliberately. You deliberately didn’t want to know, even after I got bottled by someone, even after I got treated for PTSD, you weren’t there. So for you to simply say ‘all is forgiven, move back in’, it- it’s insulting.”

“But- but we have forgiven you,” Sharon said.

“But that’s the point,” Ellie said. “I shouldn’t NEED to be forgiven. I never did anything wrong. I- I have to live my life the way I want. I AM an adult, whether you like it or not. And- and I have to live my life where I want, too. If you’d asked me if I wanted to move back in, I- I’d probably have thought about. I may even have said yes. But you didn’t. You told me I was moving in, ordered me around like I was still a child. Well- I’m not a child. You need to trust me to make my own decisions and I- I don’t feel like you do.”

“Well, we- we’ve never had an adult child before,” Sharon mumbled by way of explanation.

“But you do now,” Ellie said. “And you’ll have another one before too long.”

“Well- true,” Sharon conceded. “What- what do you want, Ellie? You say you don’t want to be forgiven, that you don’t to move in with us, so what exactly are you expecting from us?”

“I- I just want you to love me,” Ellie said. “And accept me, and- and trust me. Trust that, you know, I know what I want…”

“We never stopped loving you,” Sharon said. “Not really. We- we just didn’t understand…”

“But they do now,” Jade whispered, slowly approaching Ellie and giving her a gentle hug.

“I still don’t think you do,” Ellie said. “Yesterday, when I- when I left, did- did it feel like, you know, like I’d rejected you?”

“…Yes,” Sharon confessed.

“Imagine that multiple by three years, and that’s how I felt,” Ellie said. “If you even can imagine that.” Ellie bit her lip as she saw tears form in her mother’s eyes, before slowly weeping herself as the older woman leaned in for a hug, a hug that Ellie was only too happy to reciprocate.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon whispered, “I really, really am.”

“Apology accepted,” Ellie whispered. “And I- I do love the room, really. And- and I’d like to stay here sometimes, you know, not to live, but some nights, if- if that’s okay-“

“The room’s here whenever you want it,” Sharon said as Jade joined in the group hug. Ellie let out a long sigh as the tension left her body, to be replaced by a feeling of utter contentment- and a feeling that she was finally home.

As Ellie was reconciling with her family, in another part of the city, Janet was letting out a long sigh of her own as her weekly meeting with her counsellor was coming to an end.

“We’ve covered a lot of ground today,” Dr Phillips said. “I’m happy to see you’re keeping up with your SRS exercises, but I am concerned you’re putting too much pressure on yourself over the situation with Ellie.”

“Well- you’re a mother,” Janet retorted. “You must know what it’s like, worrying about your daughter?”

“All the time,” Dr Phillips confessed with a tired chuckle. “Though I trust that Sarah is intelligent enough to make the right choices, and you need to trust that Ellie will do the same.”

“…It’s hard,” Janet chuckled. “And for a second there I almost thought you were going to say ‘but you’re not really Ellie’s mother’.”

“I’d never say that, because it isn’t true,” Dr Phillips said. “For the last two and a bit years, you were Ellie’s mother, end of story, and her natal parents can never take that away from you. From both of you. But Ellie is now nineteen, she will have to have her independence soon.”

“I know,” Janet sighed. “So, the message is ‘enjoy it while it lasts’?”

“Not quite,” Dr Phillips said. “I’d say... Learn to love change as it happens, because it always will.”

“Thanks,” Janet said with a tired chuckle.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I really do need to get home, heh!” Dr Phillips said as she began to pack away her files.

“Ooh, yes, it’s your fella’s big day next month, isn’t it?” Janet asked. “How are preparations going?”

“He’s keeping very busy,” Dr Phillips said. “And he’s very nervous, but this- this really is right up Mike’s alley, and I know he’s going to do great.”

“I’m sure he will,” Janet said, exchanging a handshake with Dr Phillips before leaving the office. “See you next week!”

“Bye!” Dr Phillips said after Janet as the middle-aged woman headed out of the office and into the cold February evening.

Janet arrived home a short while later and smiled at the sight of Ellie and Lindsay curled up with their phones in their usual spots on the sofa. Things would inevitably change, as Dr Phillips had advised- even Lindsay would soon move out to seek her independence. But for the time being, Janet’s family was under one roof. Her surrogate family, at any rate…

As she entered the kitchen to prepare dinner, though, Janet got a surprise when Ellie followed her into the room seconds later.

“Hi Ellie,” Janet said. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No thanks,” Ellie replied. “I- I went to see my parents after uni. Well, my mum, my dad was still at work, but- yeah.”

“Oh,” Janet said. “Okay… Did everything go okay?”

“Yeah, we- we patched things up,” Ellie replied. “I’m not moving back, though- though I may spend the occasional night there, you know, for Jade…”

“So, you two are talking again as well?” Janet asked, smiling as Ellie nodded. “Good.”

“And we’re going out again on Saturday night,” Ellie said. “Me, Sade and a few of the others from uni.”

“You only get so much youth to enjoy, why not enjoy it?” Janet asked, smiling as Ellie giggled. “I am glad that things are working out well for you. Especially as you’ve got a great best friend in Sade as well.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Ellie mumbled.

“Hmm?” Janet said. “I thought you really liked Sade?”

“Oh- yeah, she’s cool, she really is,” Ellie replied. “But it’s just- well, you know… I think of you as my best friend. I mean, yeah, I’m only nineteen and you’re forty-whatever, and there’ll be people who’ll still think that it’s creepy, but I- you know, I can talk to you about anything, and- heh.” Ellie chuckled as Janet gave her a tight, loving hug.

“If- okay, when you do move out, keep in touch, okay?” Janet asked, eliciting another giggle from the teenager.

“Of course,” Ellie giggled. “But I- umm, it may not be for a while.”

“I dunno, I think you’ll like independence once you get a taste for it,” Janet said. “Being able to make your own decisions, having your own space… You’re definitely mature enough for it.”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered. “But I- I’m happy here.”

“So am I,” Janet replied. “The three of us- a perfect family. Mother and daughters, no matter what anyone else says.”

“Mother and daughters,” Ellie said with a wide, happy grin.

Unbeknownst to either of the women, though, was that while they were talking, Lindsay was in the living room, chatting to her brother on Facebook…