Bright lights; too bright. Jamie closed her eyes again. “She's coming round.” The voice sounded far away, as if in a tunnel. She cautiously opened her eyes again and realised she was staring up at a ceiling. A head appeared, out of focus.

“Jamie? It's Frankie. What happened?”

“I don't know,” Jamie croaked. “What did happen?”

“You were coming down the stairs with Roger when you suddenly fainted. It was lucky he had his arm around you and caught you before you fell down the stairs. He carried you back to the bedroom. That's where you are now,” said Frankie.

”Oh,” was all Jamie could manage. It was slowly coming back to her; carefully walking down the stairs in her heels and then glancing down and seeing Sam standing there. She would never forget the look on his face, a mixture of shock and horror. She closed her eyes again. She couldn't tell Frankie, she couldn't tell anyone.

“Is Roger still here?” she said faintly.

“Yes, he's waiting downstairs. He's very worried about you.”

“Please tell him I'm alright now and thank him for saving me from taking a tumble, I might have broken a bone or even worse.”

“I'll do that. You just lie there and rest,” said Frankie.

Jamie lay there but she couldn't rest. All she could do was think how stupid she had been. She had known that her relationship with Sam couldn't last, but to end like this! 'You stupid stupid cow,' she thought.

A few minutes after there was a knock on the door; it was Donny.

“How are you feeling Jamie? Do you want me to send for a doctor?” he said.

“I'm fine, thank you, Donny. I just need to rest for a bit.”

“Frankie can take you home after she's finished the floor show. See how you feel in the morning and if you want to take tomorrow off, please do so.”

Frankie took Jamie home in a taxi. They said nothing while in the cab, but after they arrived back in the flat and she helped Jamie undress, she asked what had really happened. Jamie's eyes filled with tears as she explained about seeing Sam at the foot of the stairs.

“I have no idea how he found out where I worked. Oh, Frankie, I've been such a fool; I should have let him down gently and stopped seeing him, then he would have had good memories of me, but I enjoyed seeing him so much. Now he'll hate me forever. I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw me with Roger.”

“Didn't you say he was a doctor? He should have offered to help when you fainted,” said Frankie indignantly.

“I'm sure he would have if I had fallen and injured myself. I can't blame him for leaving, anyway he's still a medical student,” Jamie responded. She couldn't put any blame on him when it was all her fault.

“You really love him don't you?” said Frankie softly.

“Yes, I do, even though I knew there was no future for us. Now I have to send his locket back, I can't possibly keep it.”

“I'll let you get some sleep,” said Frankie. “You look dead beat.”

Jamie was exhausted, but it was a long time before she managed to sleep. When she awoke the next morning, it was already ten o'clock and she still felt terrible, so she phoned Donny and took the day off. Her first job was to send Sam's locket back to him. She took it out of its little box where it nestled in a bed of blue velvet, and held it for a long time, pressing it to her breast before finally replacing it. She couldn't send it without some sort of note, so she sat down to write one. It was very difficult, and she tore up five attempts before deciding the next one would have to be the last, no matter how bad it was.

'Dear Sam,' she wrote. She thought hard about the 'Dear', just 'Sam' sounded abrupt, and she couldn't write 'Dearest' or 'Darling' or he would probably tear it up in disgust. She decided to leave it at 'Dear' and go on.

' I am so sorry that you found out about me the way you did. I should have ended our friendship long ago while you still liked me, but I was weak and stupid and enjoyed your company too much to let go. Now that it is too late, I am going to leave the club and find another job. I may become a shop assistant as I'm not qualified for anything else.

Jamie

She was crying as she wrote it, and although she frequently dabbed at her eyes, a single teardrop fell on the paper and smudged her name. She couldn't face writing the letter again, so left it as it was. After wrapping the letter around the little box which held the locket and chain, she dressed and walked down to the local post office. She sent the package by registered post to Sam Johnson, care of the Medical School where he was studying.

It was a wrench to say goodbye to the locket but it had to be done. The woman behind the counter looked at her curiously as she paid the fee.

“I hope you don't mind me saying so, my dear, but you look dreadful. Are you feeling ill?” she said.

Jamie managed a weak smile. “I haven't been well but I'm gradually getting over it,” she said. It was a lie of course, but what else could she say?

The following morning she pulled herself together, showered and dressed and did her best with makeup to disguise the redness in her eyes. She went to the club and having found out that Donny was in his office she went there and knocked on the door.

“Jamie! How are you feeling? I have to say you still don't look too well. Would you like more time off?” he said.

Jamie was touched by his kindness which nearly started her crying again. She drew a deep breath.

“Donny, I've decided that I can't go on at the club, so I've come to resign.”

Donny motioned for her to sit down. “Do you want to tell me what happened? It's not like you to faint.” Jamie couldn't hold back any longer. Between sobs, she told him about Sam and the shock of seeing him in the club.

“I see. Would it make a difference if I said you could just be one of our singers and not be a hostess?” he asked,

Jamie shook her head. “I'm sorry Donny, but I just can't stay here, and it's too late now, Sam and I are finished.”

Donny paused for a moment. He like Jamie and was sorry to see her going.

“May I suggest something, Jamie? You are feeling very emotional at present, understandably so. I suggest you take a week off, and if you still feel the same way then, come back and see me.”

Jamie nodded. Donny was being so kind, tears started running down her cheeks.

“Thank you, Donny, that is so kind of you,” she said, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

She did as Donny suggested, but sitting at home doing nothing only made her think even more about Sam and how she had lost him. Frankie did her best. They slept together, and that's all they did. Often Frankie had to hold her while she cried herself to sleep.

'If this is what being in love with someone and losing them is like, I'm going to make darn sure I never fall in love,' thought Frankie.

One day, Frankie brought home a small package addressed to Miss Jamie Brown, care of Lewey's Nightclub, and sent by registered post. She went to her room, opened it carefully and was shocked when the familiar small oblong box appeared. She opened it and there was the gold locket and chain together with a note.

Dear Jamie,
I am sorry I startled you so much that you fainted at the club and I am grateful to the young man you were with that he caught you and prevented you from falling. I am returning your locket. It isn't mine to keep. I hope you will keep it and remember the happy times we had together. I am glad to hear you are leaving the club since you are better than that. I wish you well in your future career, maybe as a singer since you have a great voice.
With Best Wishes always,
Sam

With trembling fingers, Jamie lifted the locket and chain out of the box and held them to her breast as she lay on her bed and sobbed as if her heart was broken, which indeed it was. When she finally recovered, she sat up and put the locket on its gold chain around her neck, promising herself that she would wear it for the rest of her life.

At the end of the week, Jamie returned to see Donny.

“I'm sorry, Donny, I've taken the week off and it hasn't made a difference, I still have to leave. I'm sure you'll easily find someone to replace me,” she said.

“I don't know about that,” said Donny. “What will you do?” he asked

“I don't know. I'm not trained for anything, maybe I'll be a shop assistant.”

But Donny had an idea. “Jamie, I know the managers of other clubs, not ones that offer the sort of services we do. I can't promise anything but if one of them wanted a singer, just a singer, would you be interested?”

Jamie looked up; there was a glimmer of hope in her eyes and Donny saw it. It was more than she could hope for but if it happened that would be wonderful.

“Alright, take another day off and rest. I'll ring you if I have any news,” said Donny.

The following day, Jamie was mooching around the flat in her nightdress and robe. Every so often she glanced at the telephone, willing it to ring, but it remained stubbornly silent. She knew that Frankie was quite worried about her, but she had promised not to do anything silly. Then suddenly the phone rang and Jamie's heart began to pound. She picked up the receiver and it was Donny.

“Jamie, I've got you an audition with my friend Ronnie Irish at the 'Blue Note Club', just around the corner from us; you must have seen it? It's a jazz club, but I've heard you sing jazz numbers in the club and do them very well. Ronnie says he can see you there at three o'clock this afternoon, can you make it?”

“Yes I can!” Jamie gasped. “Thank you so much Donny.”

“Break a leg, honey,” said Donny as he hung up.

To be continued.

Next time: A new start