A New Style of Education

by Karen Page

Part 62

In memory of Annette MacGregor

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Part 62

Friday, 24th February 2006

My PDA pinged, signalling a new message. This wasn't unusual. However, when I looked at my PDA there wasn't a message. At first I thought that I must have misheard, but Helen who was standing next to me said that she had heard it ping. I relooked at the screen and saw a small plus symbol next to the double padlock.

"Have you ever seen this before?" I asked Helen, showing her my PDA.

"No. Since it is up there, perhaps there is something in the secure area."

I thought it was a worthy suggestion so pulled up the menu. After authenticating myself I saw that there was a message from Mr Taylor. The message itself was not what I expected either. It was addressed to me, copying Stacy in, asking if he could have thirty minutes of mine and Stacy's time at my convenience.

"That's different," I said, showing Helen.

"I suppose it's because it's a school day. He might not know you're full availability."

I nodded in response, thinking how nice it was to be asked, rather than have appointments just made. To me it seemed a more grownup thing. Since there was no orchestra practice on a Thursday, there would be a bit of a gap between lessons ending and our evening meal. That, to me, was a logical time. Hopefully it wouldn't be too late for Mr Taylor either, after all he must have a life outside of work. I'd thought about suggesting eleven, but that would have meant rearranging my meeting with Rachel. A few weeks ago I would have done almost anything to miss a shrink meeting. However, I didn't want to potentially destroy a possible chance of stopping being sick.

How on Earth do I book a meeting? I'd never done anything like that before. It wasn't just the PDA that I needed to work out, but the etiquette. When we were fetching the meals we were taught how to do it properly.

"Come on," urged Helen. "If we don't hurry we will be late for breakfast."

I put away my PDA and almost freaked when I saw the time. We only just made it to our year room before it was time for breakfast. Thank goodness there wasn't anything special happening that needed explaining first thing.

As we went in we saw year-five going towards the dining room. I slowed down a bit so I could speak with Stacy.

"Would five o'clock be okay with you?" I quietly enquired.

"Perfect," she replied. "I'll let you respond to the message. Oh, don't forget to put the location; I forgot that the first time I set one up."

When I got to the table, I wasn't the last in; year-two was yet to arrive. I looked across at Helen and gave her a slight nod to let her know that Stacy had agreed. Though it was only between breakfast and our first lesson that I managed to send the secure message suggesting the time and place.

It was in the first lesson that we all got a surprise. Now you wouldn't think Geography could hold any surprises, but today it got us all excited.

"Next week we are going to spend a few days in North Wales," started Mrs Poole, our teacher.

We were normally very well behaved pupils, but that got us all talking excitedly. Mrs Poole let it ride for a few minutes before calling us to order.

"Where are we staying?" asked Helen.

"What do we need to take?" Brian added.

"If you'll all quieten down then I'll explain," Mrs Poole smiled. She actually smiled. Wow. This must have been a first. I quickly glanced at the windows to see if any cracked; they hadn't. Perhaps that just worked on mirrors.

"First off, this is field work, so outdoor wear is essential. I believe you all have hiking boots and wellington boots, so please make sure you pack them as well as some other casual footwear. We won't be eating out or going to any dances, so decent clothes won't be needed. Other items for the field trip I'll take care of and will be taken up by Mr Yates who will be accompanying us. Four people from year five will also be joining us and staying at the same youth hostel. However, they won't be on all the activities as they have some of their own they will be attending to."

I think you could have knocked us all over with a feather. None of this was expected.

"Good, now we've covered the exciting things, let's get on with Geography and recap on areas we've already covered that we will look at the practical side of next week."

And so the lesson turned out to be a recap. It was one of the first recap lessons I'd ever had, and I found it quite a surprise at how much I'd remembered. Martha and Erika must have covered this topic in America as neither of them seemed stressed about it all, though the term cwm got them confused as they called it something else. So much for us speaking the same language.

The buzz about the geography field trip lasted through the day. It was all the talk at lunch time. Anna and Jill had been doing some research into where the youth hostels in North Wales and we all discussed which we might stop in due to the closeness to certain geological structures. I wonder if they would tell us where we were going other than the region. Was it that they didn't trust us, or was it that they just didn't think we'd want to know?

I sent a message to Mrs Poole, asking if she could let us know where we were staying. I got a message back just before the end of the meal.

I announced, "To save us continuing to guess, I asked Mrs Poole where we were going to stay."

The whole table fell quiet. Nine pairs of eyes looked at me, eager for me to tell them. I smiled and took a sip of my drink and sat back with a smile.

"Oh stop it, David," complained Helen.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. We are going to be staying at Bryn Gwynant."

"Yes!" exclaimed Jill, a big smile light up her face. It had been the one she thought we would stay at.

"Are we going to have mobile coverage out there?" Helen asked me, as left the dining room. "It looks very rural."

"I'll ask Julia for her thoughts," I responded. Our normal travel PDA's had Wi-Fi and mobile coverage. It was only the beta phones that also had satellite service, which I doubt we would be taking.

* * *

At just before five, I slipped out of our year's common room and headed downstairs towards the cinema. As I got towards the bottom of the stairs I placed my hand on the light. Nothing happened. Oh well, something that I'd not been authorised to yet.

I was about to pull out my PDA to call Stacy when she appeared.

"Trouble?" she enquired, as she placed her hand on the light. It changed to green before returning to its normal glow.

"It didn't work for me."

"Oops, we'll have to get that sorted later." We walked through the open door which slid silently closed. "The request and you handprint will be on the logs, so it will be easy to authorise you."

We were there before Mr Taylor, so Stacy logged into a computer in the open area and gave me permission to the door entrance system. "Do you know what this meeting is about?" I asked.

"I have an idea, but nothing more than that," she replied. "It isn't often we have meetings with Mr Taylor."

We didn't have to wait longer, since there was a chiming sound, signalling that the door was opening. We looked up and saw it was Mr Taylor.

"Excellent, you are both in good time. Shall we go into an office?"

It wasn't really a question; we just nodded and followed him through one of the closed doors. I'd expected to see an office like Mr Hobson's or Rachel's, a desk where he worked with a discussion area. This wasn't like that. Inside was an oval table with eight chairs around it. Obviously it was just a meeting room.

"So David, how has the handover going? Do you have enough information about the beta team?"

Just as I liked, straight to the point. "So far it seems to be going well. Stacy has been very meticulous about things. If I've had any queries, she has been able to answer them quickly. So far the only question that she couldn't answer is when the trip will take place. Can you help with that?"

Mr Taylor gave me a look for a moment, before turning his frown into a slight smile. "I'm not sure you are totally impartial over Stacy, but I'll have to leave that to your judgement. As for when we go, that is the other part of the meeting. Mr Hobson will announce the trip on the 5th March and we will be leaving in the late morning on the 27th. I believe you will be back from your field trip by then."

"Yes sir," I responded. "Thank you for the dates, it'll certainly help. As for not being impartial, Stacy has drummed it into me that beta business is separate from everything else. I saw that in action in Russia."

"So you did," he acknowledged. "Now let's go over some items in more detail."

Monday 27th February 2006

I groaned as the alarm went off. Wasn't the school aware that teenagers needed a proper night's sleep? Five in the morning was far too early to get up.

"It isn't as bad as when we went to Disney," Helen reminded me as she pushed me out of bed.

"Oh that really helps," I muttered as I padded into my room to have a shower.

Since we were going away, I dressed as Jayne. I didn't want to sleep in a different room from Helen. When we saw each other we laughed. Helen had dressed as Christopher. So much for communication, we'd both taken it on ourselves to make this easier for our partner.

"So who gets changed?" I asked, trying not to laugh again.

"You. I need more practice at being Christopher than you do at being Jayne."

Christopher was so earnest that I just agreed. Helen had gone to a lot of trouble in appearing right and I would have hated to have taken that away. With only a short time before the announcement of the next trip, it was good to get in practice, since we would both be dressed as female for the trip away. I rushed back to my room to change back to my normal clothes, glad I'd not gone to the trouble of having my hair done.

The kitchen staff weren't on duty at that time of the morning, so it was cereal or toast. Christopher ate quicker than normal and rushed off to get his hair done, courtesy of Brenda. Christopher turning up had caused some raised eyebrows of surprise. It seemed strange just being year-one and four people from year-five. Even Mr Hobson wasn't there. The dining room was never rowdy, but there was always a background noise of on-going conversations. Today, with just so few of us, it was too quiet. Nobody wanted to say anything just in case it was heard.

When breakfast was finished we all rushed back to our rooms to finish getting ready and grab our suitcases. It was also where I was going to meet with Christopher. We made it to reception at the allotted time, to find a welcoming party.

"I'm glad to see you all ready," said Mr Hobson, as we congregate around the teachers. "I expect you all to be on your best behaviour."

I smiled to myself, since Mr Hobson wasn't just looking at year-one when he gave this speech, but he also glanced at the four people from year-five.

"Yes, Sir," all fourteen of us responded.

"Now a potential issue was raised, which when we investigated was valid. Not only does the youth hostel not have any mobile phone signal, nor do some of the places you will be visiting. For this reason each pair will be issued with an emergency satellite phone, along with your usual travel PDA. This should only be used in an emergency and not for any other reason. We discussed putting a Wi-Fi unit in at the youth hostel, since they do have an internet link, but it was decided that it would do you all good to spend some time unconnected from the electronic world."

"No internet?" gasped Erika in horror.

"No internet," confirmed Mr Hobson, a small smile on his normal poker face. "You also won't need the PDA's for much note taking either. A lot of what you will be doing will be practical work or study. For those in year-one interested in why there is four people from year-five going, well they are there covering two lessons, photography and astronomy. The Welsh mountains in the area you are staying suffer from a lot less light pollution, so will be ideal for them. It also means that there can be two minibuses, one for the equipment, and one for year-one. Year-five will be travelling up by car, them all taking it in turns to drive."

At the last statement, Mr Hobson was looking at Brenda, who just smiled back. I'm sure she would want to do the bulk of the driving.

As we got onto the minibus, Mrs Poole handed each of us an envelope with some money in. "There isn't much to spend money on, but it is always good to have some for the journey up and back for when we stop. Also, you should find a large hamper for you to all browse through, courtesy of the kitchen staff."

The journey wasn't too bad, apart from on the M6 in the outskirts of Birmingham. As we crawled through the traffic, I wondered aloud if the traffic was always this bad. Mrs Poole laughed, "Yes, you would have had to get up much earlier to miss the traffic here."

"Thank goodness you didn't do that!" exclaimed Brian. It was so from the heart and reflected how we all felt that we all burst into laughter. Even Mrs Poole joined in.

"Don't forget us teachers have lives too," responded Mrs Poole. "It was hard enough getting up this early. I think my husband would have thrown a fit if I had to get up any earlier."

I knew the teachers weren't monks or nuns, but this was the first time that a relationship had ever been mentioned. Well, apart from Julia but her wife was dead, and from Keith and Becky but that didn't count as they both worked at the school.

A few hours after setting off, we left the motorway system near Shrewsbury, and we gave a big cheer as we entered Wales.

"We'll stop soon for a break," shouted Mrs Poole over our singing of the last track on the CD. "Do you want a different CD yet?"

"No," we shouted back. "Again!"

She gave a manic laugh in reply and when the album finished she started it off again.

We pulled off the main road and into a small car park in the centre of Llangollen. "You have thirty minutes to stretch your legs," Mrs Poole explained, as she drew to a stop.

There was a small shop opposite the car park, and we all quickly rushed to see what they had. In the end we didn't find anything too exciting, apart from Martha who insisted she wanted to try some sweets she'd not had yet. The rest of us were more than satisfied by the goodies the kitchen staff had provided.

As we went back to the minibus Mrs Poole gathered us all around. "As you are aware, we are in a village called Llangollen. Has anybody got any clue of what's near here?"

"Sheep?" answered Lewis, after a moment's silence.

"True, there are lots of sheep, but that wasn't what I was thinking of. A few miles back we crossed over the Offa's Dyke path. This runs from Prestatyn on the north Wales coast to Chepstow in south wales by the Severn estuary. The other thing we are near is something called the Horseshoe Pass. Now this isn't anything geologically special, but the views are. So you get the opportunity to enjoy this, we will make a small diversion. Unfortunately, I'll be concentrating on the road, so will miss out."

That met with a general "aww" from us.

We were now in the middle of nowhere. Our PDA's were too slow to browse anything useful on the internet. A few times they totally dropped out and there wasn't even voice coverage. I'd seen the phone coverage maps when I'd discussed the issue with Julia and knew that the signal would get worse as we went deeper into Wales. I'd expected some in the year to be frustrated, but nobody seemed to be. We replaced browsing the internet by looking at the scenery and singing along to the third play of the CD.

When we eventually arrived at the youth hostel there was no signal on our PDA's; just as expected. The year-five car and the other minibus were already there, not having diverted to see the Horseshoe pass. Mr Yates was waiting for us.

"I have the amended room assignments," he said as we staggered out the minibus.

"Did I cause issues?" Christopher blushed, the full impact of the decision to come as male becoming clear.

"It wasn't anything that couldn't be sorted. It was our fault for not asking beforehand and making some assumptions."

Our sharing arrangements were explained. Christopher and I were sharing a room with Brian and Lewis. This would be a first for us. I don't think Christopher had thought about the room situation and looked a bit worried. Lewis must have noticed and came across.

"Don't worry," he said, quietly. "You don't have anything I don't have."

Christopher looked a bit shocked for a moment before giving a nervous laugh.

We all grabbed our suitcases and wandered off to find our rooms. There were two sets of bunk beds and a single bed.

"Top or bottom bunk?" I ask Christopher, as we took the stack on the left of the door.

"Bottom." Christopher turned to the other two. "Sorry about this."

"It's okay," Brian answered. "Anyway, it'll be good practice for you. We'll both give you space to change."

"Thanks," Christopher responded, slightly red in the face. "I'd certainly not thought how it must have been for you on the last two trips."

"It wasn't so bad since we had an en-suite. If you remember, we all changed in there."

"What'll we do here?" asked Christopher quite concerned.

"Use the en-suite," came the voice of Mr Yates from the door. "I'm surprised none of you noticed the door over there."

I looked over to where Mr Yates had pointed and there was a rather discrete door. Christopher again apologised for any extra work with the room changes.

"It made it better," Mr Yates explained. "The rest of year-one is in a six bed room. Initially you had been put in a room with Stacy and Brenda, which there had been a lot of ... discussion about. You will notice that each bed has its own locker which has space for a padlock. Please make sure you lock your things away."

He handed us each a padlock with a key and then left. I looked at Christopher who had an indescribable look. He sat hard on his bed.

"You okay?" I asked, sitting next to him. Brian and Lewis must have known we needed a bit of space and quietly left us alone.

I got a small nod. "Just a bit surprised, a bit relieved and a bit disappointed all rolled into one."

"I'm more relieved."

"Really?" Christopher sounded like he didn't believe me.

"Really. I know we both have feelings not just for each other, but remember that nothing can happen. We would have just ended up miserable; just like over my birthday."

"Yes, you're right," responded Christopher quickly getting back up. "Let's lock our stuff away and find the others. I'm sure it'll be lunch soon."

We wandered to the main building where we found a games room. Inside were some of our year, including Brian and Lewis. I mouthed a thank you to them and got a wink back.

"Do you two fancy a game of pool?" asked Emma.

"They've got a pool table here?" squeaked Christopher, sounding too much like Helen.

"They sure have," smiled Brian.

"Ooh, how about a competition?" Paula suggested.

"What type?" Anna asked, as she walked in with Jill. Martha and Erika were just behind.

"Pool."

Anna and Jill looked at each other and laughed. "Not if Erika is playing."

"Spoil sport," Erika muttered.

"Haven't you seen play her back at Hayfield?"

"No?" said Brian, starting to sound a bit nervous.

"Rack 'em up," Jill called. "First game, Erika against Brian."

We all gathered close to the table. Lewis had filled the triangle with the red and yellow balls, the single black on in the middle of them. We were far enough from it for Brian and Erika to move round without any issues. For the first few minutes it seemed that they were pretty even, but then Erika got going and hardly left the table. All Brian could do was clap with the rest of the year, as the reds sank repeatedly into pockets.

"Wow," uttered Brian as the black ball sank into the middle left pocket. "Now that was some pool. Where did you learn to play like that?"

"The Manor," laughed Erika. "Though we had proper pool there, rather than blackball pool. "

"She was good before she went back to America," added Anna. "But nothing like she is now."

"I think you can count me out," said Emma.

"Me too," added Paula.

Brenda walked into the room and smiled at the sight.

"Spoil sports," laughed Erika.

That was the beginning and the end of the competition.

"I'll play you later," called out Brenda from the door. Everyone from year one quickly turned to look her way. "I doubt I'll beat you, but I'll give you a good run for your money. Mrs Poole asked me to find you and show you the classroom."

"Classroom?" Helen groaned. "I thought we were here for a field trip."

"You are," laughed Brenda. "However, there is a bit of desk work where she explains what you're going to be doing."

We all traipsed after Brenda.

"I wonder if Mrs Poole plays pool?" thought Emma out loud, which was met with some friendly pushes.

The classroom was a room in a separate wooden building just by the entrance to the car park. Once inside, the first thing I noticed was a large platter of food. At the far end were some boxes, which I presumed contained some items for the afternoon's lesson.

"Tuck into the food," instructed Mrs Poole. "We then can go through what we will be doing over the next few days."

I looked around and saw that the four people from year five were still in the room.

"Perhaps they failed GCSE geography," suggested Helen quietly to me. She'd obviously seen me looking around and had similar thoughts.

I laughed at her idea. Mr Yates must have heard as he came across, took a few sandwiches and explained, "Year-five are going to sit in so they know where you are going. We are going to tag along to some places with you, since there will be good places for taking pictures. It also means I will be around, increasing the teacher/pupil ratio."

Ah, that made some sense. Seeing that we were satisfied, Mr Yates slipped away to speak with Mrs Poole. Stacy and Brenda gradually came across to where we were nibbling on some chicken salad wraps.

"Is this a new standard?" queried Stacy, pointing to us. We'd moved more from the others so we could talk without being overheard.

"You mean dressed as males?" I clarified. Stacy nodded and I gestured to Christopher to respond. It was his idea, after all.

"I thought I needed some more practice," Christopher explained, his voice not wavering.

"So what about our school concert? Don't forget that you, David, are in charge of how we go."

All three of them looked at me expectantly.

"I ... I don't know." I sighed. "Look, let's see how Christopher and I get on the next few days."

"Fair enough," smiled Stacy.

"I didn't realise you two were into Astronomy," mentioned Christopher.

"It's something we looked at as an addition to our additional studies," responded Brenda. "We had to do something since we'd finished our research project early. This school doesn't like you to forget how to learn before you go to university."

"Yes, but why Astronomy?"

"We'd done some ages back, as part of a method of navigation and Mr Hobson thought it might be something that was an extension to our physics A-Level where we'd touched a bit on space physics, but hadn't really done much raw looking at stars. They are such beautiful things to look at."

I shrugged. Where I'd grown up it was hard to see any stars, due to all the street lights and clouds. And when I did see any they were just pricks of light and had no meaning to me. I certainly would call them beautiful.

"You look sceptical," pointed out Stacy.

"I've never thought of the few stars I've seen as beautiful," I responded truthfully.

"I was the same, until the first time I saw them properly."

"But aren't they just like the Sun; big blobs of burning gasses?"

Stacy looked a knowing look at me, but it was Brenda who tried to explain. "You could say Stacy is just millions of individual cells. But isn't she beautiful?"

"Sweet," Helen and I murmured together.

Brenda shook her head slightly. "Too femme."

"Perhaps," I responded. "But it's still true."

"Okay, can you all sit down," called Mrs Poole.

We all found a seat, with the Year-Five pupils sitting at the back. Lewis had a small plate of food that he'd taken with him. I don't know where he put it, because no matter how much he ate, he never seemed to put weight on.

"If the weather is per the forecast, then tomorrow we shall start by taking a walk around Cwm Idwal," started Mrs Poole as Mr Yates handed out maps. "On the walk we'll be looking at physical features we've covered in our lessons. We'll continue this on Wednesday by going in the valley below to look at how this was shaped. Thursday is going to be a bit different; this is where we look at the life of a river which you covered earlier in our lessons. We will look at the flow at various positions measuring width, depth and velocity.

"However, if we get a lot of rain, or bad winds, then we will change the order we do things. Cwm Idwal isn't the place to be in inclement weather."

“Tomorrows walk doesn’t look too long,” Emma murmured as we all poured over the maps, the route highlighted.

"It isn't," agreed Mrs Poole. "However, it will take some time as we will be discussing things you've been studying, as we go. This isn't a hike, but a learning experience. To aid studying later, Mr Yates asked our photographers to take some pictures of the features I point out."

"This afternoon we will split into two areas. I'm going to go over information about the Snowdonia National Park to give some grounding for the next few days. Mr Yates is going to take his four students out to continue their practical lessons. We shall all meet up later."

The lesson moved on to talk about things we might notice as we travelled around the area, land management and conservation. We learnt about the impact increased tourism was having on the land we would be seeing. I smiled to myself. Yes this was geography, but it was more. It was the filling out of the subject from something abstract, to the bigger picture. How something related to real life, and how being too popular could destroy what’s there.

After the simple evening meal, year five started setting up their equipment in the corner of the car park, behind the classroom building. The classroom protected them from the light emanating from the main building.

“Can we watch?” Brian asked Mr Yates. We’d all snuck across about twenty minutes after year five had setup.

Mr Yates briefly shone a dim torch to the back of the area they’d setup. There were ten deckchairs. When we tried to sit on them, we realised that there was a blanket over each one.

A few minutes after sitting down, my eyes began to adjust to the lack of light and I saw for the first time the magnificent view of the welsh night sky. I’d only been able to see a dozen stars before, but now there were hundreds. I just couldn’t take my eyes off them, they were twinkling at me. How had I never seen this before?

* * *

"Wasn't that night sky amazing?" asked Paula.

"Oh yeah," I responded, looking across at her. I caught the sight of Andy making a 'told you so' face.

"Do you think they'll let us watch again tonight?"

I smiled to myself, having had similar thoughts. "As long as we don't get in the way. It wouldn't be right to disturb year five's lesson. After all, it is why they came."

"Of course," Paula quickly responded, as if she hadn't thought of that, but didn't want to say so.

Our chat was brought to a halt as Mrs Poole pointed out the lake carved out of the upper floor by the long departed glacier. The walk turned full tilt back to geography as we began to see the full grandeur that we'd been taught in the classroom. To stand with our back to the amphitheatre and look down the carved out valley made me feel very small.

Friday, 3rd March 2006

The journey back didn't seem as bad as the journey there. We'd enjoyed our few days away from normal lessons and the ten of us had bonded more. We'd only known Erika and Martha for a few months and this was the first time that we'd had a chance to get to know them away from school.

Erika had been a close friend to Anna and Jill, and it was great to see that Martha had fitted in with that grouping. It was through that existing friendship that Erika and Martha got to know us so quickly and us them. This was totally different from when they were exchange students, where they'd been slightly separate. They were friends, they were part of our Year One family.

As we got off the minibus, Stacy was waiting. Brenda's driving had got them back quicker than the minibus.

"So, for Sunday's announcement?" she asked, as soon as the others were out of earshot.

"We keep with your tradition," I responded. "I'll be Jayne." For once this hadn't been a hard decision. I'd been expecting the question, so it wasn't like France where I'd had no choice, or Russia where it was a surprise.

After checking in the travel PDA's, Christopher rushed to our bedrooms to change, I followed but decided to stay a David until Sunday morning. The minute I was in my room, I fell onto the bed in happiness. Bunking with Lewis and Brian had been a strange experience. It had helped reinforce our behaviour as we spent the week in male mode, but the lack of privacy had been hard.

"You okay?" Helen's asked, peaking through the open interconnecting door at me on lying on the bed.

"Yes," I confirmed, flapping my arms and legs like I was making a snow angel. "It's so good to be back to our own beds."

She came and laid next to me, and I was able to breath in her wonderful scent.

* * *

"Helen, follow me," ordered Becky Thompson.

Helen just stood there, rather shocked. We'd just left the dining room after having our evening meal. It wasn't like any of the support staff to order us around, let alone so abruptly.

"David, you're with me," stated Keith in the same tone as his wife.

I gave a small shrug of confusion to the people in year one. I didn't have any clue what this was about. However, I felt that if I was in trouble, delaying wasn't going to make the situation any better. I gave a slight nudge to Helen to follow Becky, and I tottered off after Keith.

I was surprised to find I was going to the room where we had life skills. I'd no idea where Helen had been going, but it certainly wasn't the same direction as me. Waiting inside was Tracy Dine, another of the support staff.

"Take a seat," Keith instructed, indicating the settee that Helen and I usually sat in. Keith took a seat on the settee to my left, and Tracey was sat in the one to my right. I couldn't watch them both at the same time.

I was dying to ask them what this was about, but I remembered Stacy's technique – wait them out. They'd asked for me to be there, so let them make the first move. So I smiled politely as I took my seat and waited.

I didn't have to wait long, before Tracey asked, "Tell us about your first night at Hayfield?"

This wasn't a question I expected. I thought I must have done something wrong at the field trip, but why ask about the first night?

I turned towards Tracy, "We went to our separate beds before curfew. I heard Helen upset, being away from her family. I went into her room to comfort her and woke up next to her the next morning."

"Is that it?" Tracy enquired.

I sighed. I presume they wanted me to talk about my feelings, but that was something I talked with Rachel about; when required. "I suppose. I got up and went to have a shower. Is that what you meant?"

"No-" said Tracy slowly, extending the last letter.

"Then can you explain what's going on and what you want? You've dragged me here without any explanation, which isn't like you or the school."

For this first time, Keith spoke up. "This is about your affirmation. This is where we help you explore your past, and it will be mostly your past with Helen. This is for you to confirm to yourself that this is right for you. Rachel has said sometimes you have trouble explaining your feelings, but that is mostly about how you feel with your identity. This isn't about that. This is about you and Helen."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"Because we didn't want you getting worried. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. We aren't here to say you can or can't have the affirmation ceremony. Some have last minute doubts or worries. All this chat is to help you make sure in your mind that this is right for you."

I was so tempted to get up and walk out of the room, but I didn't. I'd learnt, during Life Skills that I could take part in discussions and give my thoughts. Perhaps this would be a bit in between the Life Skills and my chats with Rachel and it might help me make the harder conversations easier.

"So why did you sit in two totally different seats? It felt like you were going to be ganging up on me."

Keith got up and moved to join Tracy. "Is this a little better? I'm not here to ask you questions, but to observe and make sure you are happy. Do you want to do this, or not?"

I paused, trying to think of any reason for not doing it. I couldn't think of anything. "I'll give it a try."

Tracey gave me a small smile. I think it was to try and put me at ease. "So, let's start again, but a bit further back. Tell me about Helen before you joined Hayfield."

After two hours, the questions stopped. I felt exhausted.

"And?" I enquired, after they'd said they were finished.

Tracey smiled. "Now Keith and I will have a chat with the other three. I know this wasn't easy for you. Andy should be waiting outside the door."

"Have I passed?" I asked anxiously.

"There is no pass or fail. This is an opportunity for you to look at your past and how Helen fits in."

I had never been so glad to leave that room. Waiting outside was Andy. He didn't say anything, but gave me a big smile, and we walked through the main school, and into the sleeping wing. My mind was in overdrive, and I don't think I could have said anything to Andy, it was like he knew exactly what I'd just been through. Once or twice I wasn’t thinking where I was going, and Andy gently steered me the right way.

Andy opened my bedroom door, and waiting inside was Helen and Stacy. Helen looked exhausted.

"Both of you, try to get some sleep," said Stacy. "I know that was a long session for you both."

It didn't take us long to get ready, and we both collapsed into my bed. We laid facing each other, our hands touching.

"I love you so much," I uttered, with total conviction in my heart.

"I love you too," Helen replied, her voice breaking slightly, but it had the same confidence mine had.

I don't know if it was just being close to Helen, or if it was her scent or what, but the torment in my mind eased and I slipped off to sleep.

Saturday, 4th March 2006

Normally, we would wake up before the alarm, but today we didn't. We rolled over, switched off our individual alarms, then rolled back and give each other a kiss. Even synchronised swimmers weren't that in time.

"Even though we've done our Search of Finding, we're not going to be able to have our ceremony before our trip, are we?" sighed Helen.

"With the announcement tomorrow, it wouldn't be as we want it," I responded. "Anyway, they would have to arrange for Sam and Jessica to visit. That's not going to happen overnight."

Just as I finished getting dressed, there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Andy and Stacy.

"Hi!" I opened the door further to let them in.

"We just wanted to make sure you were both okay," said Stacy.

Helen walked through the interconnecting door, tucking in her blouse as she walked. "It seems ages since we've been woken by the alarm."

"Yes, that is a common result of what you went through," agreed Andy. "I could have slept a week after ours."

"So what happens now?" I enquired.

"You go and have breakfast," responded Andy. My stomach rumbled in response to that. "That wasn't what I meant, and you know it."

I turned to Stacy, who I hoped would actually answer a question. She didn't disappoint. "You need to talk with Rachel to arrange the ceremony. You've chosen who you want to stand up with you, so it's really just arranging the date."

We weren't able to get to see Rachel until just after lunch. All morning Helen and I had been on tender hooks, wanting things to become clearer. To try to take our minds off it, we both decided to practice for the upcoming concert, but we couldn't even concentrate on that.

* * *

"So, how did it go last night?" Rachel asked, as we settled down on her comfy settee.

"Exhausting," I responded without hesitation.

Helen nodded in agreement. "Not a bad exhaustion though. It's amazing how much we have done in life together and how we feel about it."

"Did you manage to cover enough?" Rachel enquired, looking earnestly at us.

"I think so," Helen responded after some careful thought. I smiled internally, she was learning not to rush her answers. "It was very revealing that it also covered how I felt about all aspects of David and I couldn't be more certain that I want to go through affirmation."

"I'm certain too," I responded simply. "So how do we move this forward?"

"You have to decide on the date and we will arrange for Jessica and Sam to fly across. Details like flowers, outfits, decoration etc can either be organised via me or indirectly via Stacy."

"The timing is the issue," I thought aloud. "We wanted this to occur before the next school concert abroad, and we wanted it to be between David and Helen."

I didn't mention tomorrows announcement, which caused Rachel to look very confused. "But nothing-"

I interrupted. "Say a concert abroad was announced after we'd set the date, and we happened to be Jayne and Helen for that announcement, that would cause issues for our ceremony."

"I take it you are talking theoretically?" enquired Rachel. She'd realised that we knew something she didn't and was covering our backs.

"Of course."

"Then as long as their date had been announced before the concert, then I would fight to make sure their day was as planned. One day different at this stage shouldn't make any difference to their preparedness."

Helen and I looked at each other and smiled. "Would next Saturday be acceptable?"

"Let me check," said Rachel getting up and going to her desk computer. She tapped away and a few minutes later she looked up with a smile on her face. "There are a few different flights with seats available. How about Jessica and Sam departing Wednesday afternoon and arrive early Thursday morning. They then can depart Monday morning, and arrive back at school late Monday their time?"

"And that would be okay with the school?" I asked, nervous at how much time Jessica and Sam would miss.

"We knew it would happen at some stage, and the basic schedule had already been planned by the S.P.A. administrators. Both headmasters agreed to it."

I thought about asking who or what the S.P.A. was, but every time I'd asked my question had been rebuffed, so I decided now wasn't the time.

"That sounds wonderful," Helen agreed. "Would this be okay to be announced this evening?"

"Let me discuss it with Mr Hobson. Any issues and I'll get back to you."

Helen and I left, big smiles on our faces. We had so much to finalise, but we had our date.