This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

After this introduction William and I were always seen together but we both ensured that we were never alone apart from the others yes but not alone.

Others watched with amused condescension as our friendship blossomed when we went riding ha always rode by my side I sat sidesaddle as a young Lady must so I was facing William who was not good at horse riding.
He joked that this was the reason that he chose the Foot Regiment’s as there were not so many horses involved.

He was an Second Lieutenant in the 95th Rifles, which were nicknamed ‘The Grasshoppers’ due to their green uniform and the fact that they always ranged ahead of the advancing battalion’s of red coats acting at the armies eyes and ears. William also told me that they used the Baker Rifle which he assured me was far superior to the Brown Bess.

What all this meant I had not a clue as I had long forgotten things such as these but what I did know was I enjoyed Williams company and being the centre of his world.
Mama of course noticed and tacitly allowed our friendship to blossom although she continually lectured me as to the correct behaviour I must maintain.

Clarissa and Annabelle teased me unmercifully but it was all in really good nature with Annabelle warning me that William was truly smitten by me – this really thrilled me.
What was William like – remember he was 17 nearly 18 years old he was a broad shouldered youth with an endless supply of energy being junior officer in a field battalion he had to learn how to command men.

Some young officers simply would not apply themselves but William was diligent and he confided in me that he wanted to be a good officer respected by his command for his military knowledge rather than by the whip and lash as was prevalent in the privileged world of the officer class.
Indeed this is why he had chosen the 95th as the regiment set high ideals everything officers being selected because of their character rather than their breeding.
They also set great store in field craft, accuracy with the rifle and endurance on the march also they encouraged initiative which in other regiments was unheard of.

The New Year Celebrations were wonderful a ball was held and people of quality came from near and far. Mama had bought me a gown for this very evening and to my mind it was exceedingly grown up.
The inner gown was made of the softest gold satin light and fluid this was covered by an outer floating shift of the finest gossamer chiffon which had pretty sprays of flowers embroidered all over it.
It had a scooped neckline that displayed my budding breasts the short puff ball sleeves ending in a delicious frill. The waistline was high about 2” below my breasts and the dress was fitted to my corseted body.
The hem of the gown was so very beautiful Gold leaves had been embroidered all around the hem this band was about 8” wide then above this there was another band of leaves again in gold silk thread.

I was so thrilled as Miss M fastened my into my gown I was dancing from one foot to the other (a habit I have never gotten out of) through excitement.
Of course I got a reprimand for this from Miss M.
When I was fastened into my gown I rushed to the mirror exclaiming, “Oh Miss Martha is it not the most beautiful dress.” As I said these words I was swishing from one side to the other to see the fluid motion of the gown.

Miss M came to me and looked at my reflection there was a mixture of pride and sadness in her eyes as she gazed at me. “You have turned into an exceedingly attractive young lady Charlotte and I and your mama are so very proud of you.”

This display was most unlike Miss M instinctively I flung my arms around her and hugged her sobbing, “But all this is thanks to you and mama and I truly love you both.”
She must have recovered her feeling as I was lightly chastised for my display of affection. I was told to sit down and get my hair styled.
To my shame I sat in front of the mirror so I could see my reflection – this was the most adult gown I had ever been allowed to wear and I think was another test for me.

After three years my hair was very long down to the hollow of my back and a deep copper in colour tonight for the ball Anna and Miss M were going to style it in a Grecian based style where my hair would be piled on my head in a series of soft curls then pinned in place using silver hair combs and clips this was again a really adult style and showed how slender and graceful my neck was.
The finished effect was to my eyes very sophisticated and adult I was totally enchanted.

And how did I look three years after becoming Charlotte?
I was now 13 years old and I stood about 5’ 7” tall this was taller than Annabelle and Clarissa.

When I asked mama she told me that this was due to my operation as with the bits removed it was known for Castrati to grow very tall but the herb infusion I took daily stopped this to a degree.

My body was slender and my smooth creamy legs long and shapely. My hips were comely and my derriere firm and feminine.
Without a corset my waist was slender but with a corset I could get down to a 20” waist I was aiming for 18” for my ‘coming out’ but there was still time for that.
Now my breasts had started to grow they were about the size of an orange firm and creamy with a distinct cleavage especially is a gown such as I was wearing.
My shoulders were slender and my arms very feminine.
My neck was quite long and slender this was especially noticeable when my hair was piled upon my head.

I had a delicate jawline and full lips my teeth were white and even. The colour of my teeth was due to mama insisting that I rub my teeth daily with salt on my finger.
I had high cheekbones and my cheeks were the classical apple shaped with a slight blush to them.
My hazel eyes were large and doe shaped with a quizzical, open and friendly look to them eyebrows were thin and shaped (again at the insistence of mama)

It has been said that I was a comely girl with a nice disposition and friendly demeanour.
Once I was deemed ready I was taken to mama’s room, as I would be under her wing for this ball. This was quite normal and Charlotte and Annabelle would likewise be under the control of their mothers.

When Miss M and I entered mama’s room my mother looked at me with tears glistening in the candlelight, “My darling daughter” she gasped, “You look enchanting I am so very proud of you.”
I bobbed a small curtsy answering, “Thank you mama I am so happy that you approve.”
She looked at me again and asked, “and you like your gown?” My girlish enthusiasm bubbled over and I ran to mama hugged her saying, “Oh mama it’s so beautiful – thank you so much.”

She disentangled herself from my embrace (but I was not chastised) in stead she said, “Come take my arm my dear let me introduce you to your audience – remember child you will be judged tonight by your elders and peers.”

This sobered me up a bit as I realised that really this was to be my first introduction into the society that I was born into every little move, every little action would be judged and if I was found lacking I could be shunned by society.

I think mama felt my discomfort because at the head of the grand staircase she stopped looked at me and with a mischievous smile said, “And do you think your young man will like your dress?” “Mama!” I gasped then I gathered myself and answered with a similar grin, “I hope so mama.”

“Come Child now for your introduction.” We descended the staircase into the candle lit hall everywhere glittered to the flickering light of the candles the ladies jewels sparkled in this light it was enchanting.
We progressed through the entrance hall mama talking to people she knew and me keeping a demure silence only speaking when I was introduced as I bobbed my curtsy.
I saw Annabelle and Clarissa undergoing the same torment as I Clarissa managed to grimace at me causing me to grin then it was back to being the demure young lady.

Finally we met up with Lady Ffinch Annabelle, Reginald (Reggie) and William.
William looked at me with something like awe in his eyes he stood drinking me in.
Annabelle nudged him - none too gently saying, “Well brother are you not going to compliment Charlotte for looking so enchanting.”
While she said this she grinned at me with undisguised glee - at both her brothers and my embarrassment.

Staggering from the nudge, which he was not prepared for poor William managed to stammer, “Charlotte you look enchanting.”
I smiled and blushed prettily as mama added to poor Williams discomfort saying, “So you are the young man who has been monopolising my daughter I hope your intentions are honourable!”

Poor William was squirming in total embarrassment as he earnestly told my mama that his intentions were truly honourable, the poor boy was digging him self into a deep hole!
Mama took pity on him saying, “That is good William I only tease you but I must say you look dashing in your uniform.”
This caused him to blush again as his elder brother was resplendent in his scarlet uniform while William’s uniform was dark green with black frogging.
Reggie mentioned again how William’s regiment was called the Grass Hoppers – but it was all in good humour.

We were then summoned to dinner all of us younger members of the party were sat at a separate table to the adults so we would not disturb them with our chatter. But we all were within eyesight of our parents.
I do not know if it was organised this was but I was seated with William on my right side and Clarissa’s younger brother Henry on my left.
Henry was in the Light Dragoon Guards and his uniform consisted of a blue short jacket braided in gold and very splendid.
Though to my eyes William was the most dashing of them all!

Dinner at our table was a riotous affair with much joking and friendly rivalry between the Army and Navy officers also between the mounted officers and the foot brigades. And for the navy they took the rivalry out on the marines it was a wonderful, wonderful experience for one as young as I.

After a meal of 12 courses the gentlemen retired to the billiard room for port and a cigar while us ladies repaired to the salon to talk and take coffee or tea – or something stronger!
Again us younger girls sat apart gossiping it was here I met girls from other families who could be important in my future life.
Of course my friends Annabelle and Clarissa too great delight in telling the world about my admirer.

Then everyone met in the great hall and dancing began. I had a small card in my reticule and like the other girls it was soon full of the names of the young blades that wanted to dance. But I will admit that I made sure that William had a few more dances with me and most certainly the first and last dance.

The first time he took me to dance was the first time he had actually touched me (Officially) mama fixed him with a steely gaze but he was the perfect gentleman and to my amazement a good dancer light on is feet and sure of his movements guiding me around the dance floor

Things finally ended well after midnight after we had ushered in the year 1805 I was so sorry that the ball was over I had loved every moment of it totally forgetting my special circumstances simply revelling in my femininity.

As I went upstairs with mama she looked at me and said, “Thank you dear Charlotte you have acted impeccably and have made a good impression on many people.”
This was indeed praise from mama and I basked in it then tiredness took over and before I could stop myself I gave an almighty yawn.

“Charlotte really” mama said. “Sorry mama I couldn’t help it.” Mama’s gaze softened as she wistfully said, “I remember my first ball and I was just like you excited and amazed – though I certainly did not have an admirer!” Then she kissed me on my cheek, “To bed young lady.” I needed no bidding.

As I approached my room Anna was asleep outside on a truckle bed and feeling really guilty I knew I had to rouse her to get me out of my dress.
As I was about to do so mama came behind me carrying her dressing gown, She whispered, “Leave the girl Charlotte we will help each other disrobe which we did mama donning her gown to return to her room.
As I put my nightdress on I reflected that mama certainly was very progressive and I vowed to be the same as her as it seemed to engender loyalty in others

Historical Note on the rituals and restrictions a lady of 1800 had to conform to: -
She never approached people of higher rank, unless being introduced by a mutual friend.
People of lesser rank were always introduced to people of higher rank, and then only if the higher-ranking person had given his/her permission.
Even after being introduced, the person of higher rank did not have to maintain the acquaintance. They could ignore, or 'cut' the person of lower rank.
A single woman never addressed a gentleman without an introduction.
A single woman never walked out alone. Her chaperone had to be older and preferably married.
If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart. A gentleman could offer his hand over rough spots, the only contact he was allowed with a woman who was not his fiancée.
Proper women never rode alone in a closed carriage with a man who wasn't a relative.
She would never call upon an unmarried gentleman at his place of residence.
She couldn't receive a man at home if she was alone. Another family member had to be present in the room.
A gentlewoman never looked back after anyone in the street, or turned to stare at others at church, the opera, etc.
No impure conversations were held in front of single women.
No sexual contact was allowed before marriage.
Innocence was demanded by men from girls in his class and most especially from his future wife.
Intelligence was not encouraged in young ladies of the time, nor was any interest in politics. Though again Charlotte’s mother actively encouraged her daughter to become educated but not to flaunt it.