This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

I really thank you for your very kind comments the really do help me a lot and make sure that I am on the right track with the story.

I followed my mother into what would now be my bedroom I looked around with interest, as this was the first time I had ever been here.
The furnishings were overtly feminine the dresser, chests of drawers were in the empire style light and delicate.
The four-poster bed had pink covers and eiderdown the pillows were silk satin and as I found out so were the sheets.
There were 2 large wardrobes, which matched the bed, dresser and chests of drawers, a pale cream with eau-de-nil and gold leaf floral designs.
“Charlotte take off your clothes and we’ll get your nightdress on as you really do need to sleep dear heart.”
I stripped off my male clothing and mama produced a long pink cotton nightdress with white lace frills around the hem and bodice as this slid down my body it felt really strange but exceedingly comfortable.

Mama then took my hair out of the male stiff cue and washed it thoroughly in flower-scented soap.
This in itself was unusual as we normally only washed our hair every two months or so.
Then after drying it with a towel she tied my hair tightly with rags this was to give me ringlets – my first lesson in girl hood.
By now it was early evening and after the horrors of the day I was ready for sleep.
Mama gave me a potion to make me sleep making sure that this time I drank every drop she then tucked me into the wonderful satin sheets kissed my forehead wishing me sweet dreams.
Before my eyes closed in blessed sleep I watched my mother pick up my discarded male clothing and leave me to sleep.
The next morning I was awoken By Miss Martha bright and early, “Come on Charlotte we have a lot to do and so little time.”
Still half asleep I was a bit confused about being called Charlotte – then I remembered the events of yesterday.
I climbed out of my satin cocoon to face the new day and my new life. My long pink cotton nightdress was a nice reminder and I thought how very soft the material was compared to my male attire.

I washed using the hot water the servant had brought in a jug then dismissing the servant Miss Martha told me, “Today dear Charlotte you will begin to learn how to be a perfect lady – it will be hard but remember my dear you helped to make the decision.”
I nodded still happy in the decision that I had made then my governess carried on informing me, “Doctor Crawford signed the paperwork for your poor brother so now we will be free to bury him. Like your mama you are in mourning which will be very useful as you have so much to learn.”

A black crape dress was laid out along with the appropriate underclothes. I took my nightdress off and put on a pair of black knitted stockings, which tied above my knee with a satin ribbon.
Next was a pair of white cotton drawers with frills at the hem and split at the crotch (to make it easier when visiting the closet).
Next my chemise, which had delicate frills around the bodice then finally my black crape mourning dress in the empire style.
I stepped into the dress and Miss Martha helped me slip my arms into the long tight fitting sleeves then she laced the dress up at the back making it fit my slender body like a second skin.

The long sleeves ended at my wrist had had a delicate frill there was a satin sash just under my chest which when tied in a bow at the back gave the impression of breasts (which of course were none existent) My dress was high necked showing nothing of the delicate chemise I wore beneath.

The frill of my drawers peeped out from the hem of my dress. As Miss Martha explained to me that as a young girl (not yet 15) the hem of my dress would be just below my knee.

This got longer as I aged so by the age of 18 I would be considered a young woman thus the hem of my dress would be to my ankles.
I also was told that the daughter of the house wore smaller versions of adult dresses so I could expect to be attired similar to mama.

My shoes were made from black soft leather and tied around my ankles. Finally the rags were taken from my hair leaving perfect ringlets I was shown how to style my hair in a simple manner.
When I looked in the mirror all traces of masculinity had disappeared all that was left was a young girl in mourning for her family – I was stunned and judging by Miss Martha’s expression she too was amazed by my transformation.

As she looked at me she muttered, “This will certainly work if Mother Boville has a potion for you.”
With that we left the room and went to the breakfast room where mama was waiting.
As I walked the dress and the different movement of my clothes felt strange – not in a nasty way but in a rather nice way.
“Smaller steps Charlotte” Miss Martha told me, “A lady is always dainty and light on her feet.”

When we entered the breakfast room mother gasped as she saw me for the first time dressed as Charlotte.
She hurried over to me and hugged me saying, “My dear child this is remarkable – now are you absolutely certain you want this?”
Again I looked her straight in the eye and answered in the affirmative she looked at me with compassion and continued, “Once we have been to see Mother Boville you will need a small operation to stop you developing into a man.
I will not lie to you there will be pain but after the operation there will certainly be no turning back.”

“I understand mama” I cheerfully responded then like Charlotte said every morning I continued, “I’m very hungry mama can we break our fast?” Mama looked shocked at me saying the same thing Charlotte said every morning then recovering she answered, “Certainly dear but remember a lady has to show restraint and remain slender and desirable.”

During breakfast I found out that my education was going to drastically change already I could read and write but now I was to learn the arts of being a woman.
I had to learn to embroider and to play the piano I also had to learn household management, how to act in the presence of men, how to dance as a lady, etiquette and deportment all in preparation for the Debutant Ball when I would be presented to the Royal Family as a young lady when I officially would become eligible for marriage – which in my case would never happen!

I also found out that later today we all would be going to see Mother Boville, as she was too ancient to come to us.
Mother Boville used to be mama’s mothers cook and housekeeper Mother had know he all her life and had made certain that Mother Boville was looked after in her old age and lived in warmth and comfort.

I also was told that at the end of October we would go to London for the winter but as we were in mourning our social life was very restricted. After this we would go to London for special events and the social season, which was from March to July.

It was here in London that the operation on me would be done by a surgeon who did the same operation for the castrati and was the best available.
Mama also assured me that the operation would be carried out with me under the effects of Laudanum to control the pain.

After breakfast Miss Martha and I retired to the nursery where I started to learn how to embroider I would spend 4 hours a day on this task until I could complete a sampler that met with my governesses high standards.

Time was spent of household management and looking at fashion plates. A tutor was found to teach me the piano. while lessons in deportment and dance would be taught by Miss M and Mama.

I was now used to wearing these new clothes and to be honest I really liked the feel of them – yes I was afraid of the operation mama had said was essential but on this first day I had a feeling that I was really doing the right thing.

It was mid afternoon when I was told that we were going to see Mother Boville I was introduced to my cap or bonnet this was made from black silk and had small frills around the front it tied under my chin in a bow.
My shawl was also black made from satin the length was below my hips and it was clipped to my shoulder and draped around me when I saw my mama similarly attired a frisson of pleasure went through me.

We walked the short distance to the cottage where Mother Boville lived. She was a wizened old lady with piercing blue eyes and a pleasant smile she was stooped with age and stood about 5’ tall.
She greeted my mother warmly and mama returned - much to my surprise the affection.

Mother Boville first gave mama her condolences at her loss and bade us to sit Mother then explained what she wanted and could Mother Boville help.
After the story had been told the old woman was quiet for a while then looking at me she asked directly, “And you are certain about this little one?” A bit afraid of the authority emanating from this ancient woman I simply nodded.

She turned to my mother saying, “I understand your pain but what you are proposing is serous - are you certain as once we start there is no going back!”
Mama was quiet for a while then recounted what they had seen when they spent time with my dead sister – the smile that appeared on her cold dead face.

Mother Boville too all this in then pronounced, “Yes I can help you m’lady but the potion must be taken twice a day until she is fully developed as a maid – I would advise you that the boy must be doctored (archaic term for castration) as soon as possible m’lady.”

Mother nodded saying, “This has already been organized what do you propose Mother?”
The crone replied I will show you how to make an infusion of herbs and plants which will promote the growth you desire she will develop as a normal maid.”
Mother asked, “And what will be in this infusion?”

Mama was told that it would contain Fenugreek root, Fennel root, Angelica root, Blessed Thistle root, Dandelion root, Kelp and Watercress and that she would come to the hall when mama had all the ingredients and show mama how to prepare the potion.
So it was arranged that mama would send a coachman and gig to carry the old woman to the hall.

We arrived back at the hall and it was time to change clothing so we could dine again Miss Martha decided what I was to wear and helped me prepare.
This time my dress was of black silk empire style with delightful short sleeves it has small black bows around the hem of the full skirt.
In addition to my drawers and chemise I was laced into a black satin whalebone-training corset as my governess explained to me this was to help my body reshape itself. And to stop me slouching!

As she tugged on the laces I complained that I could hardly get my breath, “Oh please Miss Martha I can hardly draw a breath” I protested but to no avail.
“Charlotte this is not yet tight breath using the top of your lungs and take shorter breaths when you breasts develop this will show them to their best.”

As the silk dress was fastened up I realised that it did look and feel very nice even after this short time I appreciated the way the dress hung and even in mourning clothes I could imagine wearing bright feminine colours and the thought really excited me.

I went down to supper and noticed that my mother had on a similar dress as I. This made me feel comfortable.
All through the meal my lessons in femininity continued how to eat in a certain way, how to take part in conversation – a woman is never forward a woman’s place is to remain silent unless spoken to!

How wearing corsets and dresses affect how you eat and with the corset the amount you can eat.
Then after supper we retired to the drawing room and it was back to embroidery until bedtime.

Both mama and I were busy; mama helping my clumsy attempts at stitching – my main aim was to stop stabbing myself with the needle and create a uniform stitch.
All evening until bed time I was learning how to stitch the alphabet – I nearly completed an ‘A’ to mama’s satisfaction.
I was told that I would start to learn the piano and was expected to practice for 2 hours a day. Also a singing coach would be engaged.

And my brothers funeral (that was strange for me to even to think in these terms) was this coming Saturday at the family church!

Historical Note: - In the early 1800’s mourning was a lengthy process though not as long as in the Victorian period. For the loss of a husband or father the period of full mourning lasted 6 months then there were six months of ‘half mourning’ when more colours could be worn then after twelve months the ladies of the household could start to wear fashionable clothes. For a young girl of Charlottes age mourning for a parent was about 6 months even then the young lady could wear muted dark colours such as deep purple dark brown’s and deep greens.
The ladies of the household would retire from most of public life for the duration of the full mourning.
It is worthy of note that the silk crepe had a different spelling for mourning garb as it is a very matt silk and spelt with an ‘a’ i.e. crape.

The education of girls and boys differed tremendously in the 19th century Charlotte will never go to school. However, she was not to be left in complete ignorance her parents have Miss Martha a gentlewoman to be her governess.
She will assist in the task of shaping Lady Charlotte into a docile, fashionable young woman ready to play by society's rules.
During Charlotte’s daily lessons with Miss M. she reads plays by Shakespeare and she learns to play the piano and sing Charlotte was very lucky as her mother believed that ladies should know about philosophy and history.
Most importantly, she learns the social graces that are so important for a girl of her class: decorum at balls, what is considered fashionable, etc.
Also, since it extremely important for girls of this time to have impeccable morals, Charlotte’s governess teaches her to make morally sound choices.
The goal is to make Charlotte a fashionable, socially savvy young woman who can have coherent conversations with potential suitors and other important aristocrats.