This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred, NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs.

I turned and saw the familiar outline of someone I knew so well and missed so badly. I moved closer until I could see her features.

“M, m, m, mum; but it can’t be you’re” I stammered I was interrupted by my mum, “Hush child don’t say that word.”

I nodded dumbly then asked, “Can I touch you?” Mum gave a radiant smile and nodding answered, “Of course I am your mother after all.”

I couldn’t move fast as it seemed like I was moving through treacle but I reached for her and hugged her! My mind didn’t question what was happening.

“Mum oh Mum I’ve missed you so much” I sobbed. I felt her stroke my hair then she whispered. “We have been trying to contact you; trying to tell you that we loved you!”

I blurted out, “Please don’t hate me mum please don’t hate who I have become. I know I promised dad that I would always be the man of the family but.........”

Then I was interrupted by another voice I knew so well, ‘Susanna you were five years old when you promised that to me – what else did I teach you!”

“Daddy’ I sobbed as he came closed and hugged mum and myself “you always told me to be myself and be proud.”
I looked him in the face and saw nothing but compassion. “Yes he said, I see now you have found yourself. Now be proud of yourself and give me another daughter. I release you from your promise. However you must promise me to be a good daughter and make us all proud.”

Sobbing I managed to make this new promise I asked, “Is Terry here (Theresa was my sister who was killed in the same accident as my parents). “Oh course I am Susie” I turned to one side and my sister was there.

“Oh Terry I’ve missed you all so much.” Terry smiled and said, “And we miss you we have seen you blossom and have tried to ease your anguish but until we found the mystic we couldn’t reach you – now we haven’t long as this takes a lot out of the conduit.”

My mother said, “Susanna we must go you must live your life become the woman you are destined to be. That will make us so happy and we can rest in peace.”

My dad then said, “Remember we love you – my daughter!”

Theresa finished, “I would have liked a sister you are a beautiful person – goodbye”

The each said goodbye in turn, my mother saying, “Susanna my jewellery in the bank is yours please enjoy them and remember us. Good bye my daughter Good Bye.”

“NO! NO! Don’t go please don’t go” I sobbed trying to follow them but it was no good I simply couldn’t move. Slowly I felt myself getting warmer then hot.

I was looking into the milky eyes of the ancient mystic.
The sun pierced my eyes and as I came back into this world I saw that the mystic looked drained.

“Susie are you ok” this was from a very concerned Shoni. I was in a daze the old man took his hands from my temples and slumped wearily onto the ground.

I looked at Shoni and managed to say, “I’ve just been talking to my parents” she nodded saying “I know.”
“But how?” I asked. Shonali shrugged and answered, “I simply don’t know or understand but this is India and these things do happen.”

The mystic croaked something and via the boy Shonali asked me, “The master would like to know if you have peace?”

“Oh yes I gasped please thank him for me - is there anything I can do for him –please I need to thank him.”
Shoni translated but the old man wouldn’t take anything saying his work had been done but as the boy needs food a few rupee’s would help.
I pulled out all the money I had and offered it to the boy who only took 100 rupees – which was about £1!
When I tried to give more it was flatly refused. The mystic got to his feet with the help of his staff and the young boy.
He simply gave me a weak smile turned and shuffled off leaving us sat under the tree.

I sat silent for a while Shonali respected the enormity of what I had just been through.
Eventually I stirred and stood up. “Well Shoni” I started, “It seems like I now know what was stopping me?”
She nodded saying, “A promise made all those years ago.”

“H, h, h, how do you know” I gasped. Shoni fanned herself theatrically saying, “Susie, it was soooooo spooky you really freaked me out!
You were sat there with your eyes wide open just looking into the old mans eyes. Oh god and then you started speaking OMG it was so freaky.”

She then told me that I spoke the whole conversation as I stared unblinking into the old mans eyes.
She told me that she heard me speaking in my own voice, a woman’s voice, a man’s voice and another girls voice similar to my own! I had sat unblinking staring into the mystic’s eye’s for over half an hour!

As we walked back to the hotel Shoni quietly asked, “What you going to do?”

I shook my head “I don’t really know, but I’m going to have to talk with Jill about this.” (Jill Harvey my councillor)
And as an afterthought I added “And you guy’s” Shoni looked at me asking, “Are you sure? After all this is a serious thing?”

“Shonali” I gently chided her, “You guys are my best friends I need to talk this through with the people that mean the most to me and that’s you three”

We got back to the hotel but had no time to talk as we had to be at the cricket ground to dance. The omens were really good as we beat the Royal Challengers Bangalore by five wickets.

We were not needed at the post match party so I told the girls that I needed to talk to them.
We grabbed some cola and went to the room where Shoni and I recounted the day’s events.

Charley was the first to react saying, “Are you sure you want me involved after all.......”
I cut her off telling her, “Charley I’m certain I want you involved you’re my friend please help me think this out.”
She smiled and simply answered, “sure”.

We discussed the days events long and hard and really we collectively came to the obvious conclusion my mental block was gone I was now ready to become Susanna.
Now that I had found out that I was now ready for the final step to make me whole. I sent an email to Jill asking if I could phone her
I received a reply suggesting a face time which suited me so I made sure we had loads of credit on the SIM card as face time uses up the allowance – fast.

The face time conversation with Jill was surreal. I was talking to a councillor about a mystic out of body like experience.
But she took it all in the stride and talked me through it. Finally she asked what was the next step for me.
Very shyly I answered, “I would like the operation as soon as possible I thought of Thailand because we are in the general area - but I don’t know........... Well how to go about it.”

I spluttered to a stop all embarrassed Jill laughed and said, “Once you get an idea into your head you don’t hang about. Look Susanna I’ll talk with Doctor Kendrick and we’ll see what we come up with – ok?”

I was so relieved, “Oh thank you I gasped I’ll wait to hear from you.” With that we broke to connection.
The girls were sat around me as Shonali had to tell the girls again what she saw today when we met the mystic.
Kelly puffed out her cheeks and commented, “I’ve always wanted to see Thailand.”
I was aghast! I didn’t want to ruin their trip so I said, “This is down to me! You guys needn’t spoil your trip you carry on. I’ll go by myself.”

Charley spoke then, “If you think we’re letting you go through this all by yourself – forget it we’re going with you AND we’re looking after you. So you can cut that crap!”

The others agreed so I was out voted we were going to Thailand (if I could find a doctor)

The last couple of weeks in India passed very quickly we had a game every 3 days. As there were 10 of us one of us could miss a game and rest so while it was hard work but it was fun and bearable.

It was amazing and speaking to the other cheerleading squads we found out that these girls were from all over the world Russia, South Africa, the USA, Canada and they had all experienced the same phenomenon. Like before the cricket started we were normal girls but now - well we were famous.
After the first match we were akin to super stars recognised wherever we went in this cricket mad country. If we walked the streets chants of ‘IPL, IPL’ would follow us.

Some of the after match parties got a bit naughty as these cricketers were men away from home but I will say those that were married flirted something rotten but it never got further than that.
Some of the unmarried players – well suffice to say liaisons were formed.
The West Indian players they were brilliant they partied really hard and they were always fun to be with. There were a couple of players that thought themselves gods gift to women and I felt looked on us a sex objects.
One was a South African that played for England Peter Kevinson and the other an Ozzie with blond hair we had many discussions as to whether his hair colour was out of a bottle or natural.

So when all this came to an end I was sorry it had been one hell of an experience. We got our wages - which were about US$1200 each. And our tickets back to Australia.
Shonali had seen her relations and was really happy to meet them. We had worked it out so she could have a week off (we would cover for her at the matches) all of the girls agreed to this it was hard work but at least Shoni managed to see her family.
They were great girls and really good friends. We would be sorry to leave them mind you we would be close to them when we were back in Oz.

I was in touch with Jill and she had great news Dr. Kendrick knew a surgeon and recommended him. They had contacted him and sent the necessary paperwork to him.
The four of us discussed this and we agreed that we would see Australia as agreed that would take us about into September/ October.

Then we would go to Thailand for my operation.

I would have at least a week in hospital after the operation then we needed to stay in Thailand for at least a month.
Through the magic of the Internet we found a 2-bedroom apartment for rent at US450 a month as this was close to the beach they – note the use of ‘they’ decided that we would rent it for 2 months! I had absolutely no say in the matter whatsoever!

So my operation was arranged for the first week in October at the Suporn Clinic in Chonburi.
The apartment was Sukumvit Road that was handy for the clinic. I arranged for the deposit for the operation to be paid.
I also insisted that I paid the rental for the apartment, which of course caused a squabble between us.

But eventually we had everything organised before we boarded our flight back to Sydney.
How did I feel? I felt great I would never forget the meeting with the mystic and never forget meeting my family and saying my good byes to them (which I never got the chance when they were killed). Though what had actually happened I simply don’t know.
Shonali and I knew what had transpired Charley and Kelly believed what we told them – and that’s all that mattered.

AND soon I would be the girl I always knew that I should be! But first there was the small matter of going around Australia.

We arrived back in Sydney and headed straight to Kelly’s Aunty Sue’s the welcome home was something to behold. They were so happy to see Ceri back home fit and well and thought it was down to us looking after her – in fact she did a good job looking after her self!

Well apart from one little excursion with a fast bowler from South Africa! On the way back to Australia she pleaded with us not to say anything – silly girl as if we would.
She took some reassuring but as usual Charley put it exactly right saying, “In the State’s we have a saying ‘What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas!’”
Ceri looked confused and managed to say, “But we’ve been in India” Charley gave her one of her ‘are you stupid look’ while Kelly explained to her cousin what Charley meant.

To welcome us home they had a monster barbeque on the beach, where I met a real hunk he was your typical Aussie Guy. Tousled blonde hair a lean muscular body sun tanned and very good looking.
I don’t know if it was my stunning good looks OR the yellow micro bikini I was wearing! (My hang up’s about flashing the flesh had completely vanished.)
After all that gyrating in front of 60 or 70,000 people and being looked on as a sex object I was totally cured and adored my body.
But he was hot! Kelly hissed, “Susie, he’s yours, he can’t keep his eyes from you! Play it cool.”
Play it cool what a stupid thing to tell me I was hot for him! For some reason I was animally attracted to him.

He didn’t know it for certain - but tonight I was his! But I’d let him work for me.

The day turned into evening and the ‘oldies’ headed home leaving up young’uns to party we had all paired up - me with the hunky surfing dude.
Well one thing lead to another and we went into the sand dunes clutching a beach towel.

My bikini did not take much removing – after all it was only three triangles of silky cloth joined by string!
As he caressed my breasts I was hot for it (sounds disgusting I know but there it was!) my nipples tensed and I was already responding to his caresses.

I fleetingly wondered what it (sex) would be like after my operation!

I could feel his excitement, so I loosed him from the confines of his swim pants.
Soon I was lying on my back looking at the stars and seeing stars as he brought me to several climaxes before he exploded into the condom I had insisted he wear.

We re-joined the others and the party carried on, every so often a couple would disappear to return a while later – what they were doing I haven’t a clue.
We partied until sun up watching the sunrise on the beach in the arms on a hunky guy – bliss.

When we arrived home no one batted an eyelid! Apparently it was quite normal all night beach parties.
We slept most of the day and spent the evening washing out hair and doing other girley things.

Next day we planned our trip around Australia using the hop-on hop-off Greyhound kilometre ticket.
Starting at Cairns then heading al around the coast, inland to Uluru back down the west coast ending up in either Sydney or Melbourne Ceri was in the garden with us as we checked the map.
Wistfully she commented, “Gee guys I’m going to miss having you around. Kinda makes me wish I could go with you.”
We all really liked Ceri, she had been so open, friendly and welcoming so without thinking it through I told her, “As we told Charley having someone who speaks the language is handy. But there’s one big problem.”
The other three looked at me wondering what was coming. Wondering if I was going to tell Ceri my secret!
So I continued, “Our tent’s a three man tent and there’s already four sleeping in it – it’s cosy now but with another body it’ll be crowded.”

Sue (Ceri’s mum) passed us as we were talking and asked, “What’ll be crowded?” Ceri explained, “I was just wishing I could go with these guys – just around Aus. But their tents too small.”

Ceri had until October when she would start university so she was at a loose end.
Sue looked in our general direction then looked at her daughter and asked us, “Would you mind Ceri Travelling with you guy’s; after all you know each other so well.”

Charley, wonderful Charley then spoke for us all “ Sue, I only met these girls in Chicago, they told me – well Shonali told me to simply ‘be you’. That was good advice so I personally would love Ceri to join us and I’m sure these guy’s would.”

We looked in amazement as for Charley this was a long speech; not that she’s quiet the very opposite is true, but serious thing she normally expresses herself in just a few words – but this WOW.

Ceri looked animated asking, “You sure I can come with you – if I get a tent?” we nodded Kelly commented, “It’ll be handy having someone who speaks the language!” Charley nodded sagely saying, “And SHE said THAT to me!”

Sue smiled and then told her, “Greg’s got a tent he could lend you” then she added, “And a sleeping bag and back pack – I think! Phone him to see if he still has them.”

Ceri shot off to phone her brother; Sue looked at us and said, “Are you sure? Ceri can be such a chatterbox.” Kell answered for the rest of us telling her aunty, “There is no problem, we all like her and as for a chatterbox – well you’ve heard us four when we get going” Sue walked away shaking her head commenting as she left, “True”

We sat there, Charley went and got her beloved guitar, and was strumming while we talked. The ever-practical Kelly looked at me and asked, “Susanna what about, well you know.”
Now I was at peace with myself and ready to become a girl I simply answered, “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” To be honest now I had no hang ups at all about who or what I was – I realised that I was ME for better or worse with or without the dangly bits soon it would be without them! – Mind you it has taken me a while to make that important discovery.

We continued making our plans then an excited Ceri arrived, “Yeeeeah” she screamed, “Greg’s still got the gear, he’s bringing it over –yeaah I’m going with you guys!”
Sue came past again and this time sat down with us asking Ceri, “And what about money young lady. Kelly how much is this going to cost you?”
Kelly thought for a while then answered, “Well the 25,000km pass is Aus$2500 we roughly budget on $10 each a day and we reckon the trip will take at least two months but now we’ve seen India we’ve until September to do it.”
Sue worked it out and told Ceri, “Well I reckon that you’ll need at least $3500 – have you got that?”
Crestfallen Ceri admitted that n she didn’t have that amount, with her earnings from India and her savings she could manage $2000 tops.

She looked so depressed I think we all felt sorry for her. Sue took a drink then simply said, “I’ll talk to your dad tonight – but no promises” before Ceri could speak Sue finished off, “And you’ll pay it back young lady!”

Looking at the Greyhound map shows our trip around Australia starting at Cooktown down the coast to Melbourne then to Adelaide across to Alice Springs then Darwin down to Broome, Coral Bay, Perth following the coast back to Adelaide then finally to Sydney for our flight to Thailand. Or at least this was the plan.

I got an email from Aunty Val asking me if I could give her a phone call. This worried me as I thought (a) she was ill or (b) she had changed her mind about me. I worked out the time difference and phoned hoping to get her about eight in the evening.

When she answered I was relieved to find that both my fears were groundless, she wanted me to phone to tell me that another relation lived in Darwin a cousin of my dad called Bert and Wanda Ellis and if we wanted to we could visit them.
My first thought was why not! Then I thought who was it they were expecting Susanna or my male self.
When I asked Aunty Val said, “Why darling – Susanna they know you as Susanna. Look sweetheart I am really proud that you felt that you could tell me. Now who else you tell is entirely up to you.”
“Oh thanks Aunty Val I really trust and respect you – err I have something rather strange to tell you that you may find impossible to believe.” I then went onto recount the meeting with the mystic.

When I had finished there was silence finally she said, “Lovie, I wasn’t going to say anything but I have had some strange dreams since you told me about your changes.
So I honestly believe you and you telling me this has put the dreams into a context – at least I now know that I’m not going crazy.”

We said out goodbyes Aunty Val promising to contact the relation I never knew I had.
Soon we would be setting off around Australia then to Thailand for me to truly become Susanna.