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The Legal Stuff: Bears Know Best  © 2012 By Tiffany Shar
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright  © 2012 By Tiffany Shar. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
 
 
Preface
 
 
Like the first three books I posted here on BigCloset, I will be posting a full copy here on BigCloset. I will be posting it up in 28 installments, but that may change if I feel like a posting needs more. The book has a total of 35 chapters and a short epilogue. The full version should be completely posted by September. For those that cannot wait however, I have an e-book version of the full book available from Lulu.com as of today. You may find it at My Store. My assumption is that the majority of my readers would be more interested in this edition of the book rather than a hardback or paperback. There are two types of eBooks available depending on how you wish to read it. One is the ePub format that you should be able to load on any e-reader (you may need an additional app, but I believe all will read it), and the other is a standard PDF formatted file. I believe the PDF is the best way to read it on a computer screen personally. If you enjoy this work perhaps you will consider supporting me by purchasing it ($8.95 for the eBook formatted files).

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy reading Bears Know Best!

 

Chapter 7: What Kind?

 

I GROANED AS I crawled out of bed and stumbled across the room and turned off the alarm on my iPhone. As I brushed a strand of hair out of my face, I caught sight of my reflection and sighed. ‘I don’t know if I’m a boy or a girl, but I swear my body is deciding girl…’ I texted Alyssa, “Run again?”

“Sure,” she replied.

“10 mins?”

“C u then”

‘What would we do without cell phones?’ I thought as I began quickly brushing my hair out. It wasn’t too bad this morning; I figured I had been so tired I hadn’t moved around a lot last night. I looked at my dresser and saw the clothes I’d planned on wearing the night before sitting out. ‘In a way I hoped yesterday was just a nightmare,’ I said to myself as I crossed the room. I took off the pajama top I’d worn last night, a purple tank top with matching shorts, and remembered why there was no way it could have been a dream. Two lumps of flesh reminded me there was no way I’d be able to think of it as a dream.

I’d tried on the bright blue sports bra the day before, so I didn’t have any problems getting it on. I adjusted the bottom band until it came to a comfortable spot just below my breasts. In just panties and a sports bra I was sure I didn’t look any different than Alyssa had when she was my height. My extra appendage, that might or might not suppose to exist, didn’t show through the panties at all. ‘Keep moving,’ I yelled at myself. I was looking forward to jogging in the hopes that my head might clear.

I quickly pulled on a tank top that matched the sports bra, and a pair of black running shorts with blue stripes that matched the top. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but see what everyone else had seen forever. I grabbed a pair of socks from the same pile I had left out, and sat down at the dresser to tie on my new running shoes. ‘This could mean blisters later!’ I thought to myself.

‘Of course they can just join the ones from yesterday,’ I reminded myself of the painful shoes I’d walked all over the mall in. I stared at myself and remembered I needed to put my hair up. I looked at the pile of ‘scrunchies’ that Mom and Alyssa had picked out for me yesterday, and went for a blue one that conveniently matched the blue of everything else. ‘That is a lot of blue,’ I thought as I began to tie my hair up in its normal spot. ‘What the heck?’ I thought after a second and retied it to the top of my head where I knew most girls, including Alyssa, tied it for times like this.

I shook my head and amused myself as it bounced a bit.

The doorbell downstairs kept me from staying to look at my reflection any longer. Alyssa looked at me as I opened the door and her mouth dropped open. “You look great Taylor!”

“…thanks...” was my mumbled response.

The two of us set off on the same path that we had gone the day before, and I noticed that the sports bra kept my breasts from bouncing quite as much as they had been doing. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t gigantic, but they were big enough to bounce when I ran. The Under Armour had always helped out with that some, but not this much.

“So what are you planning to do today?” Alyssa asked me.

“Other than running?”

She smiled, “Well duh, we’re already half-way through that!”

“I don’t know. Dad is supposed to put some money in my account so Mom can take me shopping for clothes so I don’t have to borrow yours,” I said with a wink.

“So I take it he was cool about it?”

“As cool as any professional linebacker can be when he’s told his only son might actually be a girl, and ‘oh, by the way, my best friend dressed me up in her clothes yesterday!’” I paused, “Actually he was really really cool about it. He never once freaked out on the phone with me yesterday.”

“It sounds like your dad is a pretty good guy,” she said.

“He is… I wish Rachel was as good.”

“Did he tell her yet?”

“It sounded like it didn’t go well to me,” I answered with a nod that I doubted she could see as she stared at the sidewalk in front of us.

“She sounds like a total witch,” Alyssa said.

“She kind of is,” I told her as two boys jogged towards us, and moved to the right to let us pass.

We were quiet for a few moments as we covered some more distance, “You know those boys were totally checking us out,” she told me.

I almost stopped.

“What?”

“Didn’t you see them?” I shook my head. “Well, at least we don’t have much to worry about from those two, they’re only eighth graders next year,” she said with disdain.

“Aren’t we ‘only’ freshmen?” I asked in reply.

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong. You and I are freshmen girls and every senior boy will be hitting on the two of us.”

I was silent. On one hand I was kind of amused; on the other hand, what would this mean? I think she realized she might have gone too far, because she changed the conversation again, “So what are you doing later?”

“I don’t know, I thought about researching whatever it is that might be wrong with me. The doctor used some term called, ‘inter-sexed’ that I want to see what it means.”

“Why didn’t you have time to look it up last night?” she asked, curious.

“I was kind of a big cry-baby for an hour or so last night,” I admitted, ashamed.

“Taylor, you know, one of the good things about being girls is that it’s okay to cry!”

“That will take some getting used to.”

“Plus, depending on what is going on inside of you, you may have that same awful mix of hormones that I do. When it’s my time of the month I’m a rollercoaster of emotions, and cry quite a bit,” she told me.

‘Hold on, wait a second,’ I thought to myself. “Time of the month?” I said. “Like you think I might be able to have periods?” I asked in shock. It had come up yesterday in my mind once, but it didn’t hit me as hard as it did now. Somehow my feet kept moving ahead, but I wondered when a shock was going to stop me dead in my tracks.

“Well if you have ovaries and a uterus, it’s possible isn’t it?”

I was stunned. I had realized that those parts might make me a girl, but I hadn’t even thought about the other consequences for them. ‘Could I get pregnant?’ I thought to myself. After a few minutes I said, “I think I really need to do some research.”

“Can I come over and help?” She asked.

There was a tiny voice inside of me, perhaps the last remaining vestigial remnant of dignity I had that was screaming, ‘No, that’ll be too embarrassing to look up stuff like that with her!!!’ But the same voice that had persistently said ‘yes’ over and over again yesterday answered, “That would be great.”

I’d barely noted that we were approaching home until we were at the sidewalk. I didn’t feel winded at all, and knew I’d have to do a harder run tomorrow to catch back up to my normal pace. “I’ll come over in half-an-hour?” she suggested.

“Sure,” I answered, and then thoughtfully added, “if I don’t come down, just come on in; I’ll leave the front door unlocked.”

She nodded and headed into her house. I climbed the stairs and walked into my bedroom. Mom had thoughtfully washed three outfits in our quick wash last night. She had even paired each with a pair of shoes so I’d have a clue on what to wear. I almost considered skipping those three altogether, but the skirt set with the short-sleeve t-shirt, I mean blouse, was enticing me. The skirt was white with some weird ruffles running diagonally from top to bottom. Alyssa had said something about it being ‘Asymmetric’ yesterday in the store. The shirt was solid green and clung a bit to my body when I tried it on yesterday. I grabbed that set, a green bra, some panties, and headed for the bathroom.

Mom had gone over some rules with bras the night before with me as we’d washed them. “You don’t have to wear the same color bra as the top you have on Taylor, but be careful if you have a thinner top or a really dark bra with a lighter top on… It can be a bit embarrassing to have everyone seeing your bra through the shirt!” That would have been enough to make my face turn red, but she added, “Unless that’s the idea sometime.” She had even winked at me as she said it. I was convinced mothers exist to embarrass their children!

I tried not to drag too long in the shower this morning. I knew there were other things I needed to get done, not least of which was figure out what to do with my hair. As I dried off with the towel I noted gratefully that I didn’t have to worry about shaving my legs even yet. Surprisingly there was very little, to no hair there even. ‘I may want to start shaving though,’ I thought to myself as I noticed a light blonde hair on my right knee.

I brushed my hair out and then got dressed. I noticed that I didn’t have any girls deodorant as I had my bra on and thought to reach for that before putting the top on. ‘I might have to start making a list,’ I thought seriously to myself. ‘I can’t believe I even have to think about this list…’ I thought more a few moments later. I tucked the top into the skirt, because it looked better that way. My hair just hung freely from my head, since I had no idea what else to do with it.

I shrugged and walked over to my room when I realized I had nothing else I could work with to get ready in there.

I jumped three feet in the air when I heard, “Hey there,” as I walked into my room. I turned to see Alyssa sitting on my bed.

“You scared me…” I said, breathing heavily.

“Well you said to come in.”

“No, it’s okay, I just didn’t think I’d been in the shower that long.”

“It’s been an hour,” she told me.

“No way!” I said, looking at the clock on my phone. ‘Dang, it has!’

“And you don’t even have your hair done yet!” She teased.

“I don’t know what to do with it,” I admitted. “Mom talked about seeing if she could make an appointment for me today, I don’t know if she’s had any luck or not.”

“What are you going to get done?” She asked excitedly.

I shrugged, “I don’t know. Something that preferably doesn’t kill any chance of this looking masculine if I turn out to be a boy.”

“You are so not a boy!” She told me with a smile. “I’m sure of it, and I’m certain that’s what the doctors are going to say too!”

“I kind of hope you’re right,” I admitted.

She smiled, “So, first research… no scratch that, first hair!” She told me coming over and lifting a few strands of my damp hair. “Then research on you,” she said.

“Then?”

“Then you and I start looking through magazines and decide what look is you!”

I must have looked like a deer in the headlights, because she said, “Come on over to my place for a little bit so we can have access to my hair stuff. We really need to get you some curling irons!”

“I guess I can add that to the list,” I told her.

“List?”

“I already realized this morning that I don’t have deodorant that’s girl appropriate,” I told her.

“Ooh, you’ll need shower gel too! What shampoo do you use?” She started asking me a bunch of questions as she had me grab ‘my’ purse which I put my phone and house key into, before heading over to her house. Alyssa found some large post-it notes that we began making a running list of essentials I needed. ‘Assuming I end up being a girl,’ I said to myself.

We spent about thirty minutes in front of her dresser, while she attacked me with curling irons. She wanted to do something a little different than she came up with, but my hair needed trimmed and layered for what she wanted to do. I stared at my pretty face, hair, and clothes in the mirror for a few moments before we walked back over to my house.

We went back up to my room and used my iMac to start searching. We started with the obvious spot and typed in ‘intersex’ into Wikipedia. Wikipedia is by no means a solid source, but it gave us enough information to gain a jump off point for more research. Google also had some different associations that seemed to be promoting viewpoints on the issue. Somehow we ended up on some transgender websites that seemed mildly bizarre.

“People want to be like me?” I asked in shock.

“Well, it would be a reason to explain their issues with their birth sex,” Alyssa suggested.

I shook my head, “I guess, but I’m personally so confused on who or what I am… I can’t imagine wanting to be this way.”

“Look at it from their side; they believe strongly that they’re members of the opposite sex with the wrong bodies. They don’t have any hope of suddenly, spontaneously, having a body that matches their mental gender. That’s got to be pretty rough too,” she told me.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I told her.

From what we could see there were several possible variations of my DNA that could have caused this. I didn’t want to get my heart set on a diagnosis though, because it could be wrong. “Well, one thing we know, I’m a freak!” I said with a slight grin to ease the tension.

“Ah… it’s okay!” She said. “Hair styles!!!” she exclaimed as we admitted defeat after a few hours of searching.

“How about lunch first, then hair styles?” I suggested as I heard my stomach grumble.

“Ooh, okay. What do you want to do for lunch?”

“Let’s go see if my mom has anything to make,” I suggested.

The two of us made our way downstairs and I began digging through my mom’s cabinets. I was surprised that they didn’t look all that much better stocked than my dad and I had before Rachel moved in. For all of her faults, at least she did enjoy cooking, so Dad and I had eaten well since then. “Hmm…” I said aloud. We had come to the freezer and thankfully found a frozen pizza. “Pizza?” I suggested.

“Not much choice, is there?” Alyssa said with a wink.

“Well, when it’s just one, or even two people it’s hard to stock up on food,” I said knowingly. We turned the oven on to the directed temperature before finding a pizza sheet and waiting for it to heat up.

“So what’s it like?” Alyssa asked.

“The whole freak thing? Or do you mean something else?” I asked teasingly.

“The, ‘my dad is a famous professional football player’ thing.”

I sighed. “Of all of the people to ever ask me this question, you’re probably the only one that cared about the answer to that question,” I told her.

“I do,” she replied.

“Well, it’s not the greatest thing in the world,” I started. “I mean yes, it’s kind of cool to go places and everyone pays attention to you because you’re with him. Hotel service is usually pretty good, waitresses in Atlanta are always really focused on him and me — well, when Rachel isn’t there, and anytime I’m with him people always part out of the way because he’s kind of big and scary looking.” I added. “I mean, being six-foot five inches is pretty big,” I made a motion with my hands, “and he has two-hundred and fifty pounds of all muscle going on. That’s not to mention the extra size he gains when he puts his football pads and helmet on!”

She smiled at that.

“But, for me, it’s pretty lonely sometimes. Mom left me with him because she knew he’d have more money to take care of me. And, I’m pretty certain she didn’t think she’d have time for me with school going on. When Dad’s in the off-season I see him every night, and he spends as much time as he can with me. During the season though, he’s gone at least a few days about every other week as they travel to away games, and I don’t usually go to those with him,” I told her.

“Did you always go to home games?”

“Pretty much,” I said, “they have a box reserved for family members that I go sit in. Sometimes I would also go to the sideline as a ball boy, but I just don’t enjoy that,” I told her.

“So do you just watch up there?”

“Mostly, sometimes I talk to the team owners, and the other family members up there.” I said, before adding, “And the occasional movie star or celebrity that comes to town and wants to see a game.”

“Seriously?!?” She asked.

I nodded. I proceeded to name off about ten of the people I’d met in the last year. “You met him?!? No way!!!” was her reaction to one of the latest teen boy rock sensations.

I nodded, “Yep, but he was fairly normal by celebrity standards.”

“Was he as cute in person as he is on TV?”

“Umm… Alyssa… I can’t say that I noticed,” I told her with my cheeks flushing red.

“Well, we’ll just have to change that,” she told me with a wink.

As about half of the time on the pizza elapsed I went and opened the oven door and turned it so it would cook evenly.

“Anything else you do?”

“Well…” I started. This would be really embarrassing to admit if I was a boy. “Ever since I’ was little people have been… confused… about me,” I told her. She nodded as if this was the most accepted fact in the universe at this point. “The cheerleaders often times come up before the games to get the daughters of the players to come down and hang out with them on the sidelines.”

Alyssa had a big Cheshire Cat grin on her face, “No way!” She said. I knew she could see where this was leading.

“They asked me, and bugged me for years. I always said no nicely, but I don’t think they ever really figured out I wasn’t a girl. I mean my hair used to even be short until I was about ten,” I told her.

She laughed a bit.

Normally that would have made me mad, but I just shrugged. My friendship with Alyssa was brand new, but it was already so much different with her than anyone else I’d been ‘friends’ with before. “I mean, I guess I can understand in retrospect,” I told her.

“So anyway, when did you give in?” She asked.

“Well, this season I was up in the press box waiting for the game to start, it was one I was pretty sure we were going to win as the other team was last in the league. My dad is friends with most of his teammates, but one guy on the offensive line is a total jerk. His son has always lived the mantra of ‘like father, like son.’ He’s the same age as me, and has been a jerk to me the entire time our dads have been on the team. Ricky was being even worse toward me that day, and I was afraid that if adults weren’t around he would be pounding me soon. He stepped away for a few moments, about the time that Jaime came up to look for the girls, and I decided I’d have a better time down with them.”

“Smart!” She told me.

“Well, sort of. I ended up getting dragged into a few cheers with them and on national television for a few moments holding up pom-poms,” I said with a blush.

“No way!?!” She breathed as the timer for the pizza went off.

“Way.” I said as I turned off the timer and opened the oven. “The worst part was that one of the girls had tied my hair up in a really high ponytail with red and white ribbons tied in my hair, just like the four girls that had been up in the box with me, and on national television.”

“Did anyone at school recognize you?” She asked me knowingly.

“No, and thankfully Ricky didn’t even seem to realize where I’d disappeared to. No the problem is that Rachel was watching the game on TV that day, instead of in the box, and figured out that I was that cute little girl with hair ribbons when she used the DVR to go back and pause it.”

“I take it she wasn’t happy?”

“The words sissy and faggot were whispered in my ear later when she thought Dad couldn’t hear,” I told her.

“What about your dad?” She asked.

I shook my head, “I pulled the ribbons out at the end of the fourth quarter and didn’t tell him about it.”

“Did you tell him what Rachel said to you?”

“What do you think?”

“No then.” She said. “How bad is she?”

“Most of the time she’s okay… but anything that could possibly threaten Dad’s reputation, and therefore her gravy train, is something she squashes in a hurry.”

I had sliced the pizza by then, and we were both taking a couple pieces on paper plates and heading to the table. I stopped by the silverware drawer and grabbed a fork and a knife. Alyssa gave me an odd look, “You want a set?”

“That’s okay,” she said. She continued to give me an odd glance as I sliced into the pizza like that. “You know, that’s weird,” she said as she picked up the piece of pizza and brought it into her mouth.

I shrugged, “I don’t like to pick it up with my hands,” I told her.

“You really are a girl,” she told me with a giggle.

I laughed a bit too.

“So the rest of the afternoon we just need to figure out what kind of girl you are.”

“Assuming I really am a girl,” I replied. My last thirteen years of being a boy weren’t going to go down without at least a bit of a fight.

She just smiled at me, and I shook my head.

“So what kind of a girl do you think I am?” I asked.

“Well… did you watch Disney movies as a kid?”

I nodded.

“Well, be honest, what was your favorite?”

I bit my lip, since as soon as she asked the question I knew this was coming. “Umm… I guess I kind of liked Beauty and the Beast,” I told her. My blush gave me away, it made lying impossible.

“Kind of?” She asked with a twinkle in her eye, “Just how often did you watch it?”

“Mom had to buy me two more DVD’s because I wore out the first one,” I admitted shamefully.

She laughed, “I think that one has always been my favorite too. Any others?”

I sighed, “Mulan and Cinderella,” I told her.

“Those were your favorites?” She asked. “Not Lion King, Shrek, Monster’s Inc, Lilo and Stitch?”

I shook my head, “Those were all okay, but I didn’t watch them over and over again like those three.”

“Okay, so that means you would have been a Disney Princess kind of girl,” she said with a smile. “Lots of princess dolls, play outfits, and from your background, trips to Disney World as a princess.” She said matter-of-factly.

I shrugged, “Maybe.” I thought for a second, “I might have also been a tom-boy with Dad being the great football player. He may have played football with me just as much since that’s what he knows how to do,” I suggested.

“Ooh, you’re right!” She bit her lip and thought for a moment. Alyssa was in such deep thought I was concerned that she was going to fry up her brain cell!

I jumped a bit at that moment as I heard the garage door open behind through the door behind where I was sitting. A moment later I heard it close again and my mom’s car door slam shut, ‘at least I hope it’s Mom,’ I thought to myself.

“Hey kids,” Mom said as she came in. She was dressed in a navy skirt suit that made her look professional, and like someone to be reckoned with.

“Hi Mom,” I told her as Alyssa also said her greeting.

“What are you two up to?”

“Taylor and I were just discussing what kind of girl she would have been as a little girl,” Alyssa said.

I groaned and mom smiled.

“All sugar and spice, and into being a little princess!” Mom said much to my embarrassment.

“Well, that’s what I thought, but she mentioned the fact she thinks her dad would have turned her inadvertently into a tom-boy.”

I noticed Mom cringe a little bit. I really did try to skip the abandonment conversations around her anymore. “Maybe, a little bit, but her dad is a softy when he’s not on the field. I suspect he wouldn’t have known what to do with her, but he would have bought her anything and everything she wanted. She would have had more tiaras than a real princess.”

I felt like I was glowing red from head to toe at this point. “I am here you know,” I told them. They didn’t get it, and just laughed.

“Okay, now the real question is would you have grown out of it by now,” Alyssa wondered aloud.

“You mean would I still be a girlie girl?”

Alyssa nodded.

“Probably,” I told her and I saw Mom nodding next to me.

“Okay then we know what kind of styles to look at now!” she said with a smile.

“Styles?” Mom asked.

“Well, Taylor mentioned you were going to try and get her a hair appointment…” she started, “and since she is clueless on what she wants, I thought we’d look through my magazines and see if anything struck us as being something that fit her.” I was surprised that she sounded less sure of herself at the end. I think she was feeling self-conscious about maybe stepping onto Mom’s turf with her new little girl.

“That sounds like a great idea Alyssa!” Mom said. “I’m kind of out of touch with teenage fashions, so if you can help us pick out a style that would be great!” Mom said the last part with too much enthusiasm for the remaining bit of male dignity I had.

“So have you heard anything from the doctor’s office?” I asked Mom.

“We have an appointment, next Wednesday morning, with a specialist at the clinic in Cleveland. They’re supposed to have the results from your blood tests done by then, and will probably want to do more tests themselves too.”

“Are they going to do surgery on me already?” I asked nervously.

“Taylor, they won’t do surgery until they know more. They need to decide whether the tissue is actually a set of organs… They’ll probably want to do some biopsies laparoscopically too before they decide to do anything…” she paused before adding, “just in case there is something wrong with the tissue.”

“Like cancer,” I mentioned. I watched her grimace, but I’d seen all of those possibilities on the internet earlier.

She just nodded. “And, I’m afraid no matter which gender they settle on, you’re bound to have surgery this year sometime.”

I just nodded; only just realizing Alyssa had reached over and held my hand.

“Back to the other matter, I did manage to get a last minute appointment at four-thirty at a salon in Cleveland, so we’ll need to leave about two-thirty to make sure we get there in time,” Mom told me.

I genuinely smiled at that. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew my hair needed work! As I looked down at my outfit I admitted I could be prettier with a better hairstyle. “So we have what, just two hours to decide my hairstyle?” I asked with forced incredulity.

“Seriously, I know it’s not nearly enough time,” Mom said, “but it’ll have to do,” she added.

Alyssa just started laughing hysterically.

I couldn’t help but smile, I was happier being with the two of them than I had been since before Mom left. It had never been like this when I’d come to visit since I’d always been nothing more than a ball of anger then. Things were so different, and I wasn’t certain why. I wondered if it was simply that I was acting like a girl… Or something else related to that. Maybe it’s that I wasn’t acting like I had to be some sort of macho man.

“Why don’t I go grab a stack of magazines and then come back over here?” Alyssa suggested, “Then all three of us can look through them?”

“That would be sweet of you Alyssa, but I just stopped by real quick to make sure Taylor was okay and let… him… umm… her know about the hair appointment.” She smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry Taylor, it’s going to take me a bit to get used to some other pronouns with you.”

I smiled back, “I understand, I’m just as confused as you.”

Alyssa chose that moment to run back to her house for a stack of magazines. Mom and I kept talking while she was gone. “You look nice sweetheart,” she told me.

“Thanks! So do you!” I said. The compliment made me feel good about myself, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Make sure you’re ready to go when I get back home,” she smiled in return.

“I will… and… umm… Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Alyssa and I have been making a list of all sorts of things that we have found that I need today. Can we stop some other places tonight to pick up some of those things?”

“Sure, like what?”

“Well, deodorant, a hair dryer, curling irons maybe, makeup?” I said the last one somewhat hopefully.

“You know, you are only thirteen, and I’m not sure I want my thirteen year old daughter plastering her face up every day,” she said.

“But you said last night, please?” I said. Honestly, if I was going to be a girl, I’d want to fit in with my friends.

“We’ll see, but I’ll be setting ground rules.” She told me.

“Like?” I asked. I wasn’t trying to push buttons, I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into rule wise.

Mom sighed, “I think you really are a girl, only a daughter would ask that question.”

I looked at her innocently, “You’re dodging the question,” I said.

“When we have some makeup lessons we’ll talk about those rules,” Mom told me. The look in her eyes told me that there was something inside her head that was ready to pop if I pushed too much more.

‘Granted she normally would have had years to prepare for her daughter to badger her on that one,’ I admitted. “Okay,” I told her. I smiled at her, and I watched her expression change to a bit more happy look.

“Well, I need to get back to work, why don’t you and Alyssa pick three finalists that you like and I’ll place my vote when I come pick you up?”

“Okay, that sounds good,” I told her.

She gave me a quick hug, and as she drove off I heard Alyssa come back through the front door. “Let’s go up to your room,” Alyssa told me, and handed me half of a large stack of magazines.

“Where in the world do we start?” I asked, intimidated by the amazing pile of magazines that I had one my floor now.

“Well, we sort of already have. We decided that you’re mostly a pretty girly girl, with maybe a bit of a tomboy side that comes out every now and then.” She smiled at me.

I smiled back at her, and promptly turned red.

“That blushing is so going to land you boys left and right!” she told me.

“We’ll see about that,” I told her.

“Oops,” she said, “sorry.”

“Well, depending on what they decide I may very well be looking that direction for dates,” I told her with my lips pursed a bit, “but until then can I just stay in the boys have cooties phase?”

“Sure,” she said, laughing at me. “Should we buy you Barbie dolls and play dress-up and house all day too?” she said with a wink.

“Okay, but I get to be the princess!” I squeaked and stomped my foot, which set off giggles from both of us.

“Okay, already, we’d better get to looking through these.” She began moving on a mission. She had a variety of teen magazines with her, and we looked for styles that either of us liked. It was kind of hard for me at first, but after Alyssa made comments on the first two magazines worth of pictures, I kind of began to get a feel for things styles that I thought I would like. We dog-eared the styles we liked for me in each picture we came across, and eventually had a pile of about ten finalists.

“So which ones to show my mom?” I asked.

“Well, as much as I like those two,” she said pointing at two that I wasn’t as fond of, “I don’t think your hair is quite long enough for them.”

I nodded. “Those two seem like I’d need to have a perm?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Maybe this time we should avoid perms?”

She looked at me questioningly.

“Just in case I’m not really a girl,” I timidly told her.

“You are definitely a girl,” she told me with a large smile, “but I guess I can see your point.”

That left us with six. “Okay, is there one that you really like?”

I was embarrassed, but one of them really did grab my attention. “That one,” I said.

“Ooh, that one would look good on you,” she told me. “That’s probably my favorite for you too,” she said.

I happened to look at the clock then and saw we only had ten minutes until Mom was supposed to pick me up! “We’re out of time!” I told her.

“Not quite yet. Okay, I like this one,” she told me pointing to another one I didn’t mind.

“Okay, and out of these four…”

“That one,” I heard her say at the same time as me. We were both pointing to the same picture.

We laughed for several minutes uncontrollably. “Okay, we’d better clean up this mess, let’s cut these pictures out of these magazines, and then you can show the stylist the one that you and your mom agree on,” she told me.

I looked longingly at the one I liked, “Don’t worry, I bet your mom picks that one,” she told me.

I smiled back at her, “It’s not fair that you’re able to read my thoughts like that.”

We stacked all of the rest of the magazines in a nice pile, and I bent to pick them up to help Alyssa carry them home.

“What are you doing?”

“I figured I’d help you take them home.”

“Keep them, read them, it’ll help you fit in better,” she told me.

“Okay,” I said simply. I heard the garage door raise downstairs and we went down to meet my mom.

“I’ll see you later,” Alyssa said as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

“Alyssa!” I called out to her as she just opened the front door to go.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” I told her with a smile.

“Anytime Taylor! Just make sure you text me pictures!” She said just before she left. I got the feeling that she thought this should be a mother/daughter day for the rest of the day. I didn’t mind, as I was kind of looking forward to it.

I carried the three pictures in hand as Mom came in the door from the garage. “Did Alyssa already leave?” Mom asked.

“Uh-huh,” I told her.

“Well, we should get going, but did you two decide on some styles?” Mom asked. There was a hint of excitement in her voice. She had to be tired from work, and worrying about me, but didn’t seem to show it then.

“Here,” I said and laid them out on kitchen table.

She stared at them for several moments, looked at me and stared, and then went back to staring at the photos, before glancing back up at me again. “This one?” she asked, pointing to the one that Alyssa and I had liked.

I smiled! “That’s what we thought!”

She smiled again at me, “I think you’ll look lovely with that cut.” She gave me a brief hug, and said, “Are you ready?”

I had my purse with my iPhone, money, debit card, and miscellaneous other items on my shoulder already. “Uh-huh,” I told her with a smile.

“Well, let’s get going then,” she told me. I couldn’t wait to see what I was going to look like in a couple hours. I was nervous about whether or not I was making the right decision, but I had a feeling that this explained everything.

The truth was, I felt like I might actually fit in as a girl. At least better than the misfit boy I’d grown up. That made me more hopeful than I had been in a long time.