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It's What I Want
by Tanya Allan |
Don is a bit of a geek. But his intelligence was matched by his kind heart, and his flat mate and friend Steve appreciates his help in his university course work.
Don is a little confused as to why Steve and two other friends want him to join them of a motor cycle tour of France in the summer holidays, but he is pleased to be asked, and goes along. On their first stop, a cool group is playing at a night club, but it is a couples only evening, and Don is persuaded to become Donna for one evening, just so the four friends can see the show.
But no one expected to find Donna still there on the following morning.
In fact, Don never returned. And Donna was anything but a Geek!
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The Legal Stuff: It's What I Want © 2009 Tanya Allan
This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically. Any adaptation of the whole or part of the material for broadcast by radio, TV, or for stage plays or film, is the right of the author unless negotiated through legal contract. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose. Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author.
This work is fictitious, and any similarities to any persons, alive or dead, are purely coincidental. Mention is made of persons in public life only for the purposes of realism, and for that reason alone. Certain licence is taken in respect of medical procedures, terms and conditions, and the author does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge.
The author accepts the right of the individual to hold his/her (or whatever) own political, religious and social views, and there is no intention to deliberately offend anyone. If you wish to take offence, that is your problem.
This is only a story, and it contains adult material, which includes sex and intimate descriptive details pertaining to genitalia. If this is likely to offend, then don’t read it.
Chapter 5
“Donna, phone call for you,” my mother shouted from down stairs.
I picked up my extension, and it was Steve.
“Hi gorgeous,” I said.
“Hi, how are you?”
“Okay, you?”
“Missing you.”
“You only saw me the day before yesterday, and I’ll be back at uni next week.”
“I’m still very lonely at night.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said, smiling at the memories.
“So, what you been up to?”
“I went to the doctor yesterday, and he gave me a full examination. He’s told me what I already knew, that I am perfectly normal. He wrote a formal certificate for the registration people, so I have sent off everything to be corrected and changed. I went to the solicitor this morning and have now sorted out my name. I am legally Donna Jane Armitage.”
“Great. How’s your Mum?”
“She’s fabulous. She should have kicked out the old man years ago. She has taken on a whole new lease of life.”
“How are you?”
“Fine. Just coming to terms with the changes. I think other people have a greater problem than I do. I met my Dad’s brother, Uncle Tom, this morning, and he couldn’t even look at me. Now there’s not a great deal of love lost between him and Dad, but he didn’t know what to say. When he did look at me, he stared at my tits.”
Steve laughed.
“I can understand that, they are superlative breasts.”
“Dirty bugger!” I said, “On the whole people have been pretty good. I popped into the shops to get a card this morning, and spent an hour signing copies of my CD. Some kid saw me and asked if I was Donna A, and when I said I was, there was a rush. The manager brought out a chair and small table, so they sold out of my CDs. It was brilliant.”
“So, been invited onto Top of the Pops yet?”
“My agent called yesterday, and if I get into the top ten, I might be on next week.”
“Your agent? Gosh, how posh.”
“Your dad arranged it. He said I should have one, so he jacked it up for me.”
“I’m chuffed. My girlfriend in the top twenty for two weeks.”
“So I suppose you keep telling everyone?”
“Of course, and no one believes me. My mother said I live in a fantasy world.”
“How long have you parents been split up?”
“Eight years. Mum married again, he’s a pilot for British Airways. He’s a really nice bloke, but a bit dull. And Gerrards Cross is hardly the most exciting place in the world.”
“Gerrards Cross? Is that where you are now?” I asked.
“Yeah. Why.
“I live at Wallingford, that’s not far away. Would you mind if I came to visit you?”
“Mind? Don’t be daft; you know I want you with me.”
“I went out and bought a car,” I said.
“Oh yes, what?”
“A Mazda MX5.”
“Bloody hell, what is the insurance like on that?”
“Don’t ask. Particularly when they asked for my occupation. Apparently pop singers, movie actresses and students are all the worst risks going.”
“Silly tart.”
“Who are you calling a tart?”
“You, you daft bint. You should get your mum to insure it, and be a named driver.”
“Won’t wash. If the car isn’t hers, or even if it is, and she isn’t the main user, then the insurers aren’t obliged to pay out if it is being used away from the address. I looked into it.”
“Oh.”
“Still, I can afford it.”
“Are you taking it down to Portsmouth?”
“Yes, I’ve several appointments to promote the songs and movie, so I need to be independent.”
“Oh,” he said, and he sounded as if he thought that I was drifting away from him.
“Steve, has your Dad been in touch?”
“No, why?”
“Just wondered. Oh, by the way, as from yesterday, I’m now on the pill.”
“How soon can you get here?” he asked, and I giggled.
“It takes a month to start being effective, so it’s Mr Rubber until then.”
“I can live with that. How soon?”
“Mum is having some people over for dinner, to show me off, I think. So how about tomorrow?”
“What time?”
“Ten?”
“Great, do you know how to get here?”
“No, but I was hoping you would tell me.”
He gave me directions, so I copied them down. Then we rang off. I loved hearing his voice, and twiddled his ring just to remind me what he meant to me. I smiled, as I was looking forward to tomorrow already. I thought back to the end of our trip.
We had arrived back in Portsmouth two weeks before the semester was due to start, so after washing our clothes, we all went our separate ways to visit our respective families.
Steve wanted the two of us to move into one room, and I told him that was silly, so we have a room to sleep and fuck in, and a room in which I can write our essays. He went off to see his mother, and I set off for Oxfordshire to see mine.
We had to get to know each other all over again. I found that I didn’t really know her in the first place, so it was fun doing so now. Once she accepted that I really was a girl, we managed to form a good mother-daughter relationship, and although there were many areas in which we agreed to differ, we actually got on very well.
I read a nasty letter from my father, in which he referred to me as…that deviant child of yours.… and made all kinds of silly threats. It was promptly handed over to Mum’s solicitors, so actually helped her case no end.
Dinner that evening was with some old friends of the family, to whom mother had yet to explain my circumstances. The problem was she didn’t tell me she hadn’t told them.
I dressed in a very chic black dress that I had bought in Monte Carlo, with shoes to match, and the diamond earrings that the film crew had given me. When the doorbell rang, I answered it and was faced with three couples I had known since I had been about three. There were the Brewsters, the McLeans and the Carters.
“Hello everyone. Mother is in the kitchen, so please come in, and I’ll be barmaid,” I said.
There were some polite noises and lots of confused frowns. It dawned on me that mother had forgotten to explain.
“Ah. Sorry, I suppose you are all wondering who I am. Well, I’m Donna, but you probably remember me as Don. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it seems that I had a gender disorder, and developed as a girl rather later than I should have.”
Mr Brewster, whose teenage daughter Kerry, I found out later, had bought my album and had decided to model her current look on mine, gasped in disbelief.
“Good God. You are Donna A.”
“Yup, guilty. I’m pleased at least one of you is up with current music trends,” I said.
This started a buzz of conversation, so I was able to pour some drinks, and the ice was suitably broken. As they chatted, I went to the kitchen to find my mother prodding a brace of pheasant.
“Mum, you didn’t tell them, did you?”
“Tell them what, darling?”
“About me?”
“You, what about you?”
“Mother. About Don and Donna, you know?”
“Oh my God, I had completely forgotten.”
I stood there, as I had been a little angry, but as my mother had unwittingly paid me the biggest compliment I had ever had, I just wept with joy, and she cuddled me.
“This girl thing, it’s a real pain,” I said, as I repaired my mascara.
“What girl thing?”
“Bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. I never had it before.”
“It’s your hormones, dear.”
“Bloody hormones, they get the blame for everything,” I said, and she laughed.
“Turn the potatoes, there’s a love. And I’ll speak to our guests.”
She went off, and I did as I was asked, and then followed.
Mother was in full flow,
“……….and after she finished the movie, she recorded the album, which included the video that the studio put together. I understand that she has been offered a part in the sequel, in which she has the lead role. Her fiancé’s father is a film producer, and says she is a real natural.”
I went bright red, looking daggers at my mother, who smiled sweetly at me. She then walked off to make the gravy, and I had to attempt polite conversation with six victims of mother-shock. I took them through, and sat in the chair that Dad would have taken at the head of the table.
All-in-all, it was a pleasant dinner, once everyone got over their shock. It must be quite difficult to know what to say to someone who you knew as a rather drab little boy, but who is now a very attractive young lady.
I flirted with all the men outrageously, to be rewarded by more than one ‘accidental’ grope whilst passing. When they finally left, I sank onto the sofa, and breathed a sigh of relief.
My mother stood looking at me.
“What?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“I find it so hard to remember what Don was like.”
“He was a sad little mixed-up boy, who is so happy now, it’s indescribable,” I said.
“I kept looking at you as you spoke to our old friends, and you were just so, I don’t know, alive. You have this wonderful sparkle, I can’t explain.”
“Old Brewster is a groper,” I said.
“What, William?”
“Yeah, he grabbed my bum twice. If Helen hadn’t been here, he’d have offered to go further.”
“Don’t be smutty. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Mother. I’m not a child. I know a randy male when one grabs my bum. He was staring at my breasts all through the soup.”
“Well you did show them off a bit.”
“I had to bend over the bowl, otherwise I’d have dribbled hot soup down my cleavage.”
“Hmm, you do dress to shock.”
“No, I don’t. I dress to show everyone what I’ve got. If anyone is shocked that is their problem, not mine. Besides this dress cost over £1,000.”
“Well bring your expensive dress and your breasts into the kitchen, I want to wash up before we go to bed.”
I was up early the next morning, and was listening to the radio as I dried my hair.
I was out of the top twenty. It had been good while it lasted, and in a way, I was pleased, as I didn’t want the publicity at this moment in time. It showed me I had the ability, but I just wanted to get back to normal.
The phone rang, and I answered it.
“Have you heard,” said Steve.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry!”
“It’s okay. It was good while it lasted.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“You are still coming to see me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you are okay?”
“Yes.”
“Can you say anything else?”
“Yes.”
“Come on Donna, say something else.”
“Bloody hell!”
He laughed.
“Ten?”
“Yes.” I said, and he hung up, still laughing.
No sooner had I put the phone down, and it went again.
“Donna, its Jen.”
“Hi Jen.”
“I’m sorry Donna, I thought you’d go up further?”
“Never mind, as I said to Steve, it was good while it lasted.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it.”
“I still don’t. Not really. I think I’m dreaming, and I’ll wake up as a boy in Portsmouth.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Okay, I’m a girl, and life is out of this world.”
“Good on you.”
“Where are you?”
“Home, in Taunton. Why?”
“I don’t know. I miss you guys. Is Mark with you?”
“No, he’s in Norwich.”
“Bummer.”
“Yeah, where’s Steve?”
“Buckinghamshire.”
“That’s not far from you.”
“I know, I’m going there now.”
“Lucky tart.”
“I know.”
“Have one for me.”
“Okay, when are you going back?”
“I don’t know, probably a couple of days early, just to get sorted.”
“Hey, I’ll try to get there for Thursday, how will that be?”
“Sounds good, so you won’t be on TV now, will you?”
“No, not now.”
“I went and bought your album.”
“Silly tart, I’d have given you one.”
“I thought it would help get you to number one.”
“Thanks, you should have bought fifty.”
“See you Thursday.”
“Okay, bye.”
I put on a skirt, pink top and my leather jacket. For old times sakes, I pulled on my long boots. I went down and grabbed a quick breakfast.
The phone went again.
It was my agent, Penny.
“Hi Pen.”
“Donna, I’m sorry sweetie.”
“It’s okay, I heard this morning, and my mates have already called. Shame, isn’t it?”
“Your Album is still doing well. It’s moved up to number thirty four.”
“So?”
“Album sales often mean that you could get another single in the near future. Wait for the film publicity to get going. Certainly more royalties come from the albums?”
“So, I can get back to normal now?”
“Sort of, I have had tentative enquiries from Jonathon Ross.”
“Really?”
“I think you’ll be in demand when the film blurb starts hitting the press.”
I grabbed breakfast and told my mother that Steve was staying the night.
“I’ll make the spare bed up,” she said.
“Mum,” I said, and rolled my eyes.
“This is my house, there are standards,” she said.
I kissed her and dashed out to the car. It was drizzling, so I kept the top up as I drove off to Gerrards Cross.
I arrived at five to ten, pulling into the drive of a very plush house in the rich end of the town. There was a BMW and a Range Rover on the drive. I parked up next to the Range Rover, and Steve was at my door before I switched off the engine.
After we came up for some air, he looked at the car.
“Cool car,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“Not as cool as you.”
“Soppy sod.”
“I’ve missed you, Donna.”
“Kiss me again, then.”
There we were, standing snogging in the rain.
“We’re getting wet,” I observed.
“Don’t care.”
“Come on, let’s go in.”
“Okay, by the way, my Mum still doesn’t believe that I’m engaged to a pop star.”
“She will.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Penny thinks I might get onto the Michael Parkinson show.”
“Really? Wicked.”
“Yeah, after the full press release comes out about the movie.”
“Double wicked.”
“Mum has made up the spare bed.”
“That’s a waste.”
“I know, but she wouldn’t have it.”
We were in the hall, so he took my jacket from me and hung it up.
“Bloody hell, since when did you ever hang anything up?” I said.
“Since I threatened to beat him to death if he didn’t,” said a female voice.
I turned and saw a very attractive tall woman, obviously his mother, come out from the kitchen.
“Hello, you must be Donna. Steve has told me so much about you, but I’m afraid I didn’t believe half of it. He does so love to wind me up.”
“Hi. I know. He’s such a pain at times. I wonder what made me agree to marry him.”
Her eyebrows shot up at this.
“So, that is true? I thought that was another tale.”
I showed her the ring, and she shook her head.
“I am so sorry, Stephen, I didn’t realise,” she said, and he grinned.
“So what are you two going to do?”
“I don’t mind. Something calm, I thought we’d try to write the lyrics to another song I’ve written,” I said, as offhand as I could.
She stared at me.
Stephen took out my CD and held it in front of her.
“Look, that is Donna A, and this is Donna Armitage, my girlfriend. They are one and the same.”
She looked at my photograph on the CD case, and then at me.
“Oh my word. You are! I thought he was teasing. So, the movie is real too?”
“Yup,” I said, with a grin.
“I need a coffee. Would you like one?”
We followed her into the kitchen and she put the kettle on.
“I’m a little confused, so help me out here. Stephen told me he was going to France with his friends Don, and Mark and Jenny, who shared the house.
“Then he tells me that you, his girlfriend, Donna, managed to get a good part in a movie, and my ex, David, thought the sun shone out of your proverbial. So you are all staying in Monaco for six weeks as this happens. Right?”
“Yes.”
“So, then you and the other couple return, so what happened to Don, he seems to have got lost somewhere?”
I grinned, and Steve went red.
“Put like that, I don’t wonder you got confused. It’s like this. I was Don, but I should have been Donna, as I suffered from a strange gender disorder, which only cleared up just after we arrived in France. As you see, I am a perfectly normal girl, but I lived the first nineteen years under the mistaken belief that I was a boy. My hormones kicked in late, and I developed properly, and I am now as you see, not too bad considering.”
“You poor child, how simply horrid for you.”
“It wasn’t that bad, I knew nothing different, but now it’s great.”
“Well, you seem to have made up for lost time.”
I smiled, and Steve went red again.
She poured the coffee, and we went through to the drawing room. It was a huge house, and very tastefully decorated, but a little starchy and tidy for my taste. I couldn’t imagine Steve living in this kind of surroundings for long, as he was such a slob, he’d go bonkers.
When we had finished the coffee, I took him for a spin in my car. The rain had stopped, so I put the top down.
“Not much room in it,” he observed.
“If you want to fuck me, then we go to bed. I’m not getting a hernia just for a quick bonk in a silly car,” I said.
“Spoilsport,” he replied, laughing. “It really is good to have you back.”
“I know.”
“I’m so terrified of losing you.”
“I know.”
“You have the world at your feet, so I seem to be so insignificant.”
I pulled over into a lay-by. I turned and looked him right in the eyes.
“Listen ,you silly sod, you asked me to marry you, and I agreed. Now I don’t know about you, but I happen to love you, and I want to grow old with you. So, forget what is happening to me, just remember that it all means absolutely nothing. You are whom I want to be with, you are the most important person in my life, and you are my chosen mate. So, stop getting so silly on me, be happy for me, as I will share as much of my life with you as you care to accept. If it all gets too much for you, then say so, but otherwise, put up or shut up.”
He grinned sheepishly.
“Sorry babe.”
“Steve, please don’t call me ‘babe’, it really irritates me. I have a name, and I’m sure you can come up with something more appealing than ‘babe’.”
“Sorry, my darling,” he said in the most upper-class voice imaginable.
I hit him, so he held my arms.
“Donna, believe me, I am sorry. I just don’t see what you see in me.”
“I see everything,” I said, and kissed him.
We went out to lunch at a local Thai Restaurant. It was very good and not expensive at all. There was a family at a table next to ours, and the boy, who was about twelve, kept looking round at me. He was having an argument with his younger sister. He was saying, “It is.” and she was saying, “It can’t be.”
Steve found it quite amusing, and I smiled.
“Have you any of those CDs?” he asked.
“There is a box in the car, why?”
He asked for the keys, and disappeared for a moment.
He brought a pair of CDs back.
“Sign one…You were right, it was. - Donna A. And the other one, “ He told you so. - Donna A. ”
I did as he asked, and he went over to the table.
He gave the first one to the boy, and the other one to his sister, leaving them gaping at us.
“You’re a big softy,” I said.
“It’ll help your sales, as they’ll tell their mates, and then more CDs will get bought.”
We finished our meal and paid the bill. As we were leaving, the father of the children came up to me.
“Thanks for that, you didn’t have to do it, you know?”
“It was a pleasure,” I said. “I do like helping win an argument.”
He smiled, and asked if I would give him my autograph. I signed a take away menu, and he grinned his thanks.
We went to see a movie that afternoon, and snogged in the back row of an almost deserted cinema. It was really strange, as the last movie I had gone to see had been in Portsmouth, and I had gone with Steve and a couple of mates. I smiled as I thought of their reactions if they could see us now.
We arrived back at Steve’s home in time for dinner, and his step-father had come home. He was very nice, but the exact opposite of his Dad, David. He was quiet and rather staid, so I could understand how his mother preferred his stability over the unpredictability of David.
As soon as dinner was over, Steve packed a small overnight bag and we set off for Wallingford. I was quite excited, as I longed to have him in my bed again.
We arrived at about eleven, and my mother wanted to go to bed. She went to great pains to show him his room, and even turned down his bed for him. She then hovered until we both went to our own rooms, and then went to her own room.
I was in his bed thirty seconds after her bedroom door shut.
We made love several times that night, and when the alarm went off at eight, I was tired, but immensely satisfied.
I got up and went to my room, to make it look as if my bed had been slept in. My mother passed and looked at me, in that all knowing way.
“I shouldn’t bother. I know damn well you spent the night with him.”
I smiled, and she shook her head.
“Mum.”
She came back.
“What?”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. What are you two going to do today?”
“I thought we’d fiddle about with some lyrics for my new songs.”
“That sounds nice dear,” she said and wandered off.
I grinned. “Thanks Mum, you’re bloody brilliant.”
I slung on jeans and a tee shirt, and carried my guitar downstairs.
We had a lovely day. Mum adored Steve and he played up to her by flirting and paying her so many compliments. I had composed seven new songs, and together we made a rough draft of the lyrics for all but one.
The time sped past, and I so liked being with Steve. I’d missed him and we just seemed to belong together. Supper was quiet, and we watched a film. Mum yawned and announced she was tired.
“Well, I’m going to bed. Stephen, I’ve moved your things into Donna’s room. It’s a much bigger bed, so I suppose I’ll just have to get used to the fact that you’re a couple. Goodnight, dears,” she said, and kissed both of us.
The next week saw the four of us reunited back at Portsmouth, and on the day I was due to head back to uni, my new birth certificate plopped through the letterbox.
I already had my drivers licence, and now I was able to apply for my passport. So I posted the application forms off, and after giving my mum a hug, set off for my last year in education.
It was really great to be back in our grotty little house. I had such weird memories. I sat in my room, just reflecting on the mad few months that had changed my life beyond all recognition. Over the day, Jenny, Mark and Steve arrived.
“Some silly bastard has parked their flash sports car outside the house. I hope it gets nicked,” said Mark, as he tried to get his bike into the tiny front garden, where he usually kept it.
“Thanks a bunch. It’s my car,” I shouted down the stairs.
“Sorry Donna. How are you, girl?” he bellowed back.
“Good, you?”
“Yeah, pleased to be back though. Is lover boy back?”
“Not yet.”
Jenny came out of the kitchen.
“Will you two shut up? You sound like a couple of Italian mamas,” she said, and Mark grabbed her and dragged her giggling off to their room.
Steve arrived soon after, and we settled down to an hilarious dinner of bread, cheese, ham and eggs. Real student fare.
“So, Donna, what happens now?” asked Mark.
“What?” asked Steve.
“Look, no one knows about Donna, right?”
“Right, so?”
“Well, all the faculty and students think she is still a boy, right?”
“Right, go on?”
“Well, why don’t we get her to pretend to be a boy?”
“Why?” I asked.
“To see how long it takes for them to twig.”
“Why?” Jenny asked with a frown, looking at my now ample bosom.
“Why not? Officially, she’s a boy, and all the students and lecturers know her as a boy. It’s going to be odd if she turns up as a girl. I though it might be a laugh to have her disguised to see how long it takes.”
“I’m legally a girl now!” I said.
“With no make up and baggy clothes, no one will pay much attention to her. Besides, she will remain anonymous from the press who will be desperate to get publicity photos of the sexy Donna A.”
I had to admit, the thought of the press trying to get candid pictures of me every day, had been filling me with dread, so it seemed logical. Jenny and I went and tried to make me look like Don used to look. It was hard, not so much the lack of makeup and baggy clothes, as that was easy, but I was very feminine in everything I did, always walking with my shoulders back and head held up.
I had to practice walking around with round shoulders and head down. I came back down and Steve paled slightly as he took in the old me.
I had tied my hair back in the old ponytail and removed all my makeup. I had a baggy tee shirt over a scruffy pair of jeans. My nails were still looking rather effeminate, so to my horror, Jenny had filed them off to square ends.
I sat next to him and he kissed me on the cheek.
“I love you whatever you look like!” he said.
“That’s a good job,” I said, rather gloomily. I didn’t like this, but I knew what I was underneath my clothes.
They dragged me off to the pub, where I sat in the corner, feeling very self-conscious, as Steve went off to get the drinks in. I had never been a great pub-goer as a boy, and now I was a girl pretending to be a boy, I felt very vulnerable. Mark and Jenny got caught up with a crowd they knew.
Ronnie Allport, one of the guys in my Business Studies class saw me. He came and sat down next to me, pint of beer in hand.
“Hi Don, we don’t see you in here often. Did you have a good break?”
“Yeah, pretty good. You?” I asked, making my voice as gruff as I could. It hurt!
“Yeah, I went to the States for six weeks, it was awesome.”
“Oh, where were you?”
“California. Five of us went and stayed in a beach house that belongs to Matt Harris’s father, you know Matt?”
“Is he that tall guy who lived with the Allport twins?”
“Yeah. Anyway, we had a fantastic time, surfing most days, windsurfing, and just bumming it on the beach. Beach parties every night, and the babes. I tell you, Don, you’d have loved the babes!”
I looked at him, suspecting he was taking the piss.
He wasn’t, he was blissfully ignorant of me and my unique situation.
“So, did you pull?” I said, trying to sound macho and interested.
“You might say that. I met a fantastic girl called Shelly, and we really hit it off. I was so tempted to stay, I tell you, what a life!”
Steve returned with a glass in each hand. His own, a pint of lager and a white wine for me. He saw Ronnie and frowned.
He passed me the wine without a word and sat on the stool, as close to me as he could get.
“Thanks Steve. Do you know Ronnie, he’s in my business class?”
“Hi Ronnie,” he said.
“Hey Steve. You’re the guy Don lives with, yeah?”
Steve nodded, taking a drink from his glass. I smiled and sipped mine. He was jealous.
“So, Don, what did you get up to?”
“We went to France. I needed to practice my French.”
“Cool, any sexy Mam’selles?”
“One,” said Steve, staring at me.
I blushed, looking down.
“Oh, none for you, Don?”
“I found someone very special,” I replied, looking at Steve.
“Is she French? They can be so sexy, but I’m not sure I could cope with hairy armpits,” Ronnie said.
I looked at him and realised that I couldn’t keep this up for long. He was a real moron and I just wanted to leave with my lover.
Then, to my dismay, Gordon Allen came over with his girlfriend Sally something. I knew Gordon from class and Sally by sight only. Neither were what I’d call close friends, but they were nice enough.
“Have you heard that a student from here is supposed to be the latest sexy sensation in the singing world?” Sally asked.
“Oh, who’s that then?” asked Ronnie.
“I saw Donna A on TV a few weeks back, and I’m sure the blurb went on about her being a student at Portsmouth.”
“Is that the one with the amazing legs on the motorcycle?”
“There was a bit of her on the bike, yes.”
“I would!” said Ronnie, with a smirk.
I caught Steve’s eyes.
“I did!” he said, put his drink down, and looked at me. “We’d better go, are you coming?”
I finished my drink, and said goodbye to the small group, who stared at Steve in open amazement.
We left the pub and as soon as we were outside, he took my hand.
“Sorry, my love, that must have been fucking hard for you.”
“It wasn’t too bad. I never realised just how stupid blokes can be in some situations.”
“Let’s go home. I want my girl to look like a girl again.”
I smiled and we walked home hand in hand.
My first lecture on Monday morning, I slid in and took my usual place. No one said anything to me, apart from the usual vague greetings.
Mr Gateshead swished in with his usual panache, and distributed the assignments from the last semester.
“Abbott — pass; Adams — pass, just; Allen — pass, good; Armitage — distinction, excellent Don, well done; Campion — Fail, see me later; …” and so on.
The lecture went ahead and I took notes as usual. I almost forgot that France had happened, but then spied some nail varnish we had missed on my little finger. Also, my engagement ring sparkled at me. I turned it round just so no one could see it. I refused to take it off.
At the end of the lecture, I dropped in at the union to grab a drink. I sat at a table to wait for the others, watching everyone else hustling and bustling. A couple of girls sat at the table next to me. I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.
“Did you see that Donna A on the telly a couple of weeks ago?”
“Yeah, it’s so rare to see a female performer who plays and performs her own material. She is so sexy; I’d love a figure like hers.”
“I know, and those boots. They were amazing, it was a cool video.”
“Yeah, I wonder if she actually rode the bike, and I swear she was only wearing a leather jacket and those boots. She was gorgeous, my dad started dribbling.”
“I know, I read somewhere that she’s supposed to be here, studying French at Portsmouth.”
“Really? Have you seen her yet?”
“No, but there was an article about her. She’s in a movie with Craig Howard, I think it’s due to be released this autumn. Anyway, it said she was seen by chance singing in a café in Monte Carlo by the producer and they gave her a screen test. She went on to get engaged to the producer’s son, or had already met him, and was already engaged or something like that.”
“She must be a fresher, we would have seen someone as gorgeous as her before this.”
“No, she is supposed to be in her third year.”
“I’ve never seen her. I think I would remember.”
I smiled and looked away. A shadow fell over me.
“Hi, is this seat taken?”
I looked up and saw a young lad in usual tee shirt and jeans uniform. He wasn’t familiar, and I assumed he was new.
“Not yet, but I have some mates coming.”
“If they come I’ll move. I’m knackered and I need to sit for a second. I’m Stuart Robson.”
“I’m Donn,” I said, catching myself in time.
“Hi Don, this is my first year, you?”
“Third.”
“What subject?”
“French and business studies.”
“Hey, doesn’t that Donna A, the singer, do French here?”
“So I understand,” I said, sighing wearily.
“Woah, there’s a babe and a half.”
“So I understand.”
“So you haven’t seen her?”
“Not as such, no,” I said.
“Do you like it here?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s good if you have good friends.”
“It’s all new. I’m in halls, and it’s all very strange at the moment.”
“I was in halls in my first year. It takes time to make friends. I rent a house with three friends now.”
“Cool, is it nice?”
“It’s okay. Better than halls.”
Jenny arrived, and sat next to me.
“Hi, how did your first lecture go?” she asked me.
“Good, I got a distinction for my assignment. You?”
“Not a distinction, but I passed.”
“Have you seen Steve yet?” I asked, and she smiled.
“No, he didn’t go in until eleven, so he won’t be out for a bit.”
“Oh Jenny, this is Stuart, he’s a fresher. Stuart, this is Jenny, we share the house together,” I said.
“Hi, oh, I see, are you, you know, sort of, an item?”
Jenny and I looked at each other, and hooted with laughter.
“No, Jenny has Mark, and I have a partner,” I said.
At that moment, Steve arrived.
“Hi peeps,” he said.
I looked up at him, and the devil in me made me smile.
“Hi sweetie,” I said. He looked at me, but then he bent over and kissed me.
I thought Stuart’s eyes were going to pop out of his sockets. He suddenly remembered he had to be somewhere else, and disappeared rapidly.
Steve sat in the now vacant seat, shaking his head, but smiling.
“You’re a nasty little minx, when you want to be,” he said.
“Hmm, I don’t care. I’m a girl, Steve, and I want everyone to know it!”
“Young Stuart thinks we’re a couple of gays, you should have seen his face!”
We kept the charade up for the first few days, but as more and more people saw Steve and I in intimate clinches, the tongues began to wag. So much so, that Steve was summoned to his tutor after someone complained that he was seen with another student in what was described as an unnatural situation.
Also, my second song, Left Behind, had entered the charts, and although my first was down to number sixty, Left Behind was now up to number sixteen. Penny called me and wanted to do a publicity shoot of me in Portsmouth, so things were coming to a head.
I decided that it was time to end the game, and planned to go with Steve to see his tutor.
I dressed a la Donna A, with my £1000 dress, stockings and high heel shoes. Jenny and I spent ages on my make up, and I let my hair down. As my nails were short, Jenny helped me put on some false ones. It felt great!
Steve and I walked arm-in-arm along to his tutor’s rooms. It was a busy time of day, so students streamed out of the Guildhall. Heads turned as I was recognised, and I could hear the murmurings getting louder as we made our way through the throng.
We went up the steps, and I saw Stuart in a group of freshers. He stood with his back to me, speaking on a mobile phone. His friends recognised me immediately, and started tugging at his clothes, but he was oblivious.
“Hey, Stuart darling,” I said, loud enough for him to hear. He turned and gaped at me.
“Get your arse out the way, there’s a love,” I said, but he froze to the spot.
“You?” he said.
“Me. Remember my fiancé, Steve?”
He nodded, and Steve glared at him.
“I was hiding from the press, but now I don’t need to. But some silly sod complained because they saw me and Steve having a cuddle. Can you believe that someone honestly thought I was a bloke?” I said, and he stared at my cleavage and gulped.
His friends eventually managed to pull him out of the way, and we moved on through. I imagined the leg pulling he’d get over that one.
“You sat at the same table as Donna A, and you thought she was a bloke? You wanker!”
Steve knocked on his Tutor’s door and we went in.
Professor Bill Timms was a real film fanatic, but the wrong type. He thought that all film was an art form and not a clever commercial product that purely existed to make rich people richer and to entertain the masses so they would forget the sad little lives that they were forced to lead.
He was clearly uncomfortable about the interview he was about to conduct, so my presence threw him completely.
“Ah, Stephen. Good, Ah, um, who is this?” he stammered.
“This is Donna Armitage, my fiancée and house mate. It was she that people have seen me with, and for some inexplicable reason, they object to our expressing our feelings to each other in public.”
He stared at us, at a loss for words. He scrabbled with a piece of paper, obviously reading the notes he had taken when the complaint was made.
“Donna?” he said.
“Yes.”
“So, who is this Don Armitage?”
“He doesn’t exist. He was a smoke screen to keep the press at bay. You see, I'm a successful singer and actress, but I want to keep a low profile while here, so we came up with the ruse to pretend to be someone very plain and ordinary. It worked, until some brain-dead, bigoted cretin took offence at what he, or she, thought he or she saw.”
“Singer?”
“I have one of my songs in the top twenty at the moment.”
“Top twenty?”
“The music charts.”
“Oh.”
“Professor Timms, can I know exactly what the nature of the complaint is?” asked Steve.
“Ah, yes, well, it seems that a number of students believed that, ah, you, ah, were openly undertaking, ah, intimate relationship with another student.”
“Yes, I kissed my fiancée.”
“They say, ah, that the other student was, um, a, male.”
“Excuse me, but is it a criminal offence to be a homosexual?” I asked.
“No, but, ah, um, the codes of conduct clearly prohibit such obvious activity.”
“Professor, do I look like a male to you?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then please believe me, Steve is not gay. He was kissing me, only I had no make up on and was wearing baggy trousers and an old sweater. Have you any idea how intrusive the press are?”
“I can guess.”
“So, do you really want the adverse publicity that the university will attract should you censure a male student for mild petting with his girlfriend, who just happens to be a rising celebrity?” I asked, and he had the grace to shake his head and look sheepish.
“You can relax, as I'm going to undertake a publicity shoot for my music and the forthcoming movie. You see, the fact I'm a business studies student has grabbed the press’s attention. Being a blonde, they can’t seem to accept that I'm not dumb. Silly, but they feel there is room for a good story.”
“Professor, may we know who the complainant was?” Steve asked.
“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he said. “But, you can consider this matter closed, and I apologise for any embarrassment that it has caused you. I shall speak to the person, and make the facts clear.”
“You may consider this matter closed, professor, but I do not! In this day and age, with equal rights being what they are, I am considering consulting my solicitor and seeing whether I should sue the university for causing us undue stress and being overly intrusive into our private lives. Even if we were two males, what we did wasn’t illegal, and therefore is an infringements on our basic human rights!” I said.
The professor stared at me with his mouth open.
“However, I accept your apology, and would ask that if this happens again, you consider dealing with the nosey little bigot appropriately!”
We left his office and went straight to the University admin office. I gave my name and asked to see the admissions secretary.
I sat and waited with Steve until a girl called me to go into the office.
A woman was standing with a file in her hand. As soon as I walked in, she frowned and looked down at the file.
“I’m sorry, I’m afraid there seems to be some confusion. The only D. Armitage we have on file is a male.”
“That’ll be me then,” I said with a smile.
I explained the circumstances, showed her my birth certificate and a copy of the doctor’s formal letter. She had to change my details on all the databases and forms. Then I had a new picture taken for my student ID card and union card.
“This is very unusual,” she said, as I made her do some work for a change.
“I should hope it is unique. I should think I'm the first,” I said.
“Well, others have had sex changes, but legally they're male. I have never seen anyone who was female all the time,” she told me.
With an enormous sense of satisfaction and relief, I left the office. As we made our way across the main square, I was aware that I was now completely free of my past. It was a wonderful feeling, and I hugged Steve, who looked surprised. Pleased, but surprised.
“What is that for?” he asked.
“I'm finally me.”
“You’ve always been you. But now you're all Donna, and there's nothing left of Don,” he said.
“You miss him a little, don’t you?”
“In a way. You were always so quiet and unassuming, Donna is bouncy and very much the extrovert.”
“If I was still Don, do you think we would still be lovers?”
“Once I met Donna, I knew I loved you! Had you not changed, and had to lead a double life, I don’t know, but possibly.”
“Is it Don or Donna you love, really?”
He stared into my eyes.
“I love the person in my arms, who happens to call herself Donna. If she were Don, and still in my arms, then I should love him too.”
“Does that make us gay then, and the Professor thought?”
“I don’t really care. This isn’t a gender thing — it’s a person thing. I thought you were a girl, and fell in love with the girl I thought you were. When I found you were a boy, I just changed the way I looked at you. But then, when Donna first appeared, it all came back, and that first night, when you, when you….Shit, Donna you blew my mind when you did what you did.”
“I know, it got me too. So, no regrets then?”
“None!”
We walked slowly back to our little house. I was recognised by quite a few people on the way. Jenny was waiting for us when we rolled in.
“Where have you guys been?” she asked.
Steve explained.
“Donna, Penny phoned, several times. Can you ring her back?”
I went to my ‘office’, the room that had been my bedroom in the old days, and rang my agent.
“Hi Pen, you wanted me?”
“Donna, thanks love, yes. The studio is bringing out the film on the first of November in the States, so they want a big build-up. They want you to attend the premier in New York.”
“Wow, really?”
“That’s not all. They want you available to do the round of US chat shows, and to be able to sing some of the songs from the movie.”
“Go on.”
“Well, is there any chance that you could fly out next week for the first of these?”
“Penny, this is mid Semester, I have work, and so has Steve.”
“I know, Honey, but this is business. It really is important.”
Comments
My voice actually hurt!
The part where Donna tried to speak in a lower register ... How well I know it. The reactions to her were quite funny.
Unlike Donna, I have to do everything right to look like a woman. It has been so long since I used my "Before Time" voice that when I tried it to day, it was like there was some barrier there and I had to concentrate very hard to make it happen; and it hurt!
I really liked the bouncy and upbeat part too. In the old days, I was very serious and tacturn, and worked very hard to sound like a guy. Now, I am mostly bouncy, joking, affectionate and well just damned happy. That is until some cretin pulls some sort of crap. Almost everyone is very nice to me except the very religious Christian or Muslim. There are red necks in the medical field at the VA and today I encountered one. Three nurses were standing there talking when I left the clinic and one of them said, "Yes, this is the guy who fell of his bike and broke his finger".
I can imagine what Donna encountered when disguised as Don.
Great job,
Khadija
"It's what I want comment" edited.
"There are red necks in the medical field at the VA and today I encountered one. Three nurses were standing there talking when I left the clinic and one of them said, "Yes, this is the guy who fell of his bike and broke his finger"."
This was an unfair comment on my part about the VA, and I am not sure why I made it. I should have put "a few" between are and red necks. In my several years of treatment there, I have only run into two people who were unkind.
I am sorry.
Khadija
Umm
The uni would know about the equalities act, and the legislation that proceeded it, so wouldn't have been so stupid, one would hope.