Chapter 4 – And it was all going so well, too . . .

This evening as I walked along the pavement I did see some people react to my appearance but it was all positive. A couple of young girls looked at my ensemble with genuine admiration while a man ogled me for longer than he should have and was rewarded with a thump on the arm from his wife who had clearly noticed. I wondered it I wasn’t a little overdressed for the Care Home but I knew Susan was rarely underdressed and I was maintaining an appropriate presentation as my sister.

It was 5 minutes to the hour when I arrived at Niaroo Care Home and a number of other visitors were sat in the lobby awaiting the instruction of the staff. Moira saw me approaching the front desk and said “Good evening, Susan. That’s a lovely outfit!” as she passed me the form to sign. “Thanks!” I replied with a smile. “Its one mum liked on me so hopefully it will trigger a memory” I said. “Just take a seat, we’re running a little late I’m afraid” she added and so I went over to an empty chair and sat down, keeping my legs tucked behind and to the side with knees firmly together.

Sitting there amongst the other visitors, I kept my hands clasped together on my lap, my handbag on the floor and I casually surveyed the room. Nobody was giving me a second look, nobody was sniggering or looking shocked. I was passing for a female – a fact that 48hrs ago would have been impossible for me to contemplate. What also surprised me was how comfortable I was in this guise. Yesterday I had been nervous and anxious and I had found solace in alcohol in a gay bar where I had felt safe. But after that experience and the realisation that I was no freak show to be publicly ridiculed I had become a different person. It was someone I was rather fond of, too.

“OK, folks, thanks for your patience – visiting is now open” Moira called out and we all rose to our feet and headed to our respective relations. I knocked the door with new confidence and called out “Hi Mum, I’m back again!” as I entered the room and saw my mother sitting up in bed. “Susan!” she called out with a smile and held out her arms for me to hug her.

Her hold was weak and she felt like a bag of bones in my arms but it was still mum and that was enough. “I was at a meeting this afternoon and haven’t had time to change so I’m a little more formal that usual tonight” I said as I gave her a twirl before sitting on the bed next to her. “So how are you feeling today?” I asked expecting nothing in return.

“Bit better” she mumbled with a nod. I was pleasantly surprised with a meaningful response when I had next to nothing the night before. “You’re looking perkier, mum” I said as I smiled at her and added “you’re still eating OK I hope?” He gave a slow nod and said “chicken today” and I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “That’s good, mum. You need to keep the body fuelled up or it won’t work properly!”

I decided to start giving her the news from the family – all fake or old of course but hopefully she would take pleasure from hearing her grandchildren’s names and positive feedback about both. “Alice had a piano exam the other day and that’s her passed Grade 7 now so she’s into the advanced section now. We were in the Princes Square Shopping Centre the other weekend and they have a piano in the lobby open for visitors to use and of course Alice decides to sit down and do a classical piece she knows off by heart. To be fair she did it really well, but she attracted a crowd all looking over the balconies at her and some folk were filming her on their phones and when she finished there was a huge round of applause. You know Alice - she bowed like she had been giving a gala performance, and then slowly walked away as if she was waiting for them to call for more! She’s quite the diva. Don’t know who she gets that from!”

Mum smiled and a scrawny finger pointed at me.

I opened my mouth in fake shock and said “Me? Mum, I was a perfect child and didn’t throw a strop once!” There was a throaty grunt from mum which must have been a laugh trying to get out and I thought I saw a twinkle in her eyes that had been missing for a while. “Well, there WAS that time on the beach when Angus’s sand castle got knocked over because it was way better than mine but that was more because he hadn’t put good foundations in and the wind could have blown it over. I just helped it do that!”

Once again Mum’s face brightened and I realised my words were reaching their destination so I continued to bring up stories from my childhood, just told from my sister’s point of view. Each one seemed to be appreciated which made me feel much happier than I had expected to be. I changed the tack to current times and told stories about Jack and how he was getting on at school and then funny stories from when he was little and when he was being baby sat by my parents. Mum always had a soft spot for Jack who used to try and play her with his doe eyes and fake remorse for things he had done. Mum and Dad knew his ploy of course and would play him at his own game, threatening all forms of punishment they knew they could never inflict.

Once again, Moira had to come to the door to remind me it was time to leave. The hour had passed at twice the speed of the previous evening and I was genuinely happy to have spent the time with mum and find her in an improved condition. “I’d better be heading” I told her with a kiss on her cheek. “I think Angus wants to come see you tomorrow so I’ll see you in a couple of days time, OK?” I added. Mum’s face fell. “Susan, come again tomorrow. Please” she said in barely a whisper. I sighed deeply. Could I drum up enough material to give another hour long monologue as my sister?

I looked at mum and she repeated “Please, Susan” so I went up to her and hugged her and kissed her once more. “OK, mum. I’ll tell Angus he can come later.” Her face brightened and she nodded. “Uh huh” she said and added “Nice dress” as I slipped on the jacket and grabbed the handbag. “Love you mum. See you tomorrow” I said as I blew a kiss and walked out of the room.

I went to check out with Moira and she smiled and said “Your Mum was better today than she has been for a while”. I returned the smile “I noticed! She was a bit distant yesterday but was more communicative tonight.” Moira lowered her voice as she said “She’s enjoying your visits, Susan “ and I nodded. “She wants me back tomorrow so I guess one more performance and then the real deal will be here to take my place!” I said as I signed the form. Other visitors were waiting to do the same so I just said goodbye to Moira and made my way outside.

I was feeling wonderful as I began walking back to Susan’s house. Mum had seemed brighter and more engaged in our conversations and less wandered in her mental capacity. My presenting as Susan had not been detected by mum and I seemed to be passing acceptably in the general population too which was nice because I was feeling really good about the way I looked. The feeling of the soft fabric against my body, the sheet tights against my hairless legs, and the smart, stylish dress and jacket combo gave me a self confidence I had been lacking recently as my career crumbled around me.

I was feeling so good I decided I would treat myself with a drink at The Basement Bar on my way home and this time I would sit facing outwards so that I could see and be seen. I didn’t feel there was any reason for me to hide myself from view – especially in a venue which was a haven for the LGBTQ community in the city. I was reminded of the theme song for the TV show Cheers “Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. . “ I smiled. That sounded like my kind of bar.

The Basement Bar is a misnomer because it is all on the ground floor at the corner of a major junction so I stood at the street opposite and pressed the pedestrian crossing button and waited for the green light to tell me it was safe to cross. Evening was gradually becoming night and I could see the reflection of the traffic lights changing from green to amber and I prepared myself to step out when my light turned green.

For a split second I felt the strap on my handbag loosen and then there was an almighty tug which nearly pulled me off my feet. “Gee’z yer handbag!!” the young man shouted aggressively as he pushed me aside and yanked at the strap. Somehow, I had managed to catch hold of it as he was pulling it from my arm and so now we were in a tug of war situation. “Gee’z it before I hurt ye !” the thug shouted as he prepared to kick me with his metal toed boots. The initial shock I had felt had now turned into anger and outrage. “Leave that alone, you scumbag!” I shouted back at him as I tugged as best I could.

For a second his face froze and then it turned into a sneer. “Christ, you’re a faggot? A feckin’ Trannie are you? Gee’z the handbag, ya poofter!!” he spat at me as he swung a boot that connected with my shin. I automatically shrunk down as the pain weakened my stance and at that second he unleashed a punch that went straight to my stomach and made me double over in pain. Another punch then hit me on the side of the face and I felt my grip on my handbag go.

Strangely, the thug remained standing over me, clearly seeing my defence was now over. “Maybe I’ll break yer pretty little nose for you, sweetheart?” he taunted and he lifted my face by the chin and prepared to land the final haymaker. At that very moment however I heard a voice from behind me shout “Leave her alone, your scummer!” and a fist flew into my attacker’s face with a second following shortly after smacking his jaw from the other side.

The attacker must have realised his mistake lingering around because he immediately turned around clutching my handbag and went to run away. However, he had forgotten he was at a major road junction. There was a loud car horn and squealing of brakes and a loudly shouted expletive a split second before car hit body and my attacker was thrown into the air. He fell around 15 feet from the point of impact which, although at a relatively slow speed, was enough to injure him.

As car drivers started to emerge from their vehicles the thug stumbled to his feet and with a very distinct limp and one arm holding his other shoulder he scuttled off as fast as possible shouting obscenities as he went.

My boxing good Samaritan leaned down and said to me “Are you alright, pet? Do you want me to call an ambulance or the Police?” To my surprise she was a rather pretty woman probably only a year or two younger than myself. I shook my head. “I’m just winded. There’s nothing broken. I’ll be alright.” She looked up and said “Wait a moment, stay where you are OK, I’ll be back in a moment.” I could hear the car drivers talking to each other and then the woman was back at my side. “Is this your handbag, pet? He dropped it in the road when he got hit.” I nodded and said “Thank you!” pleased to have my mobile and wallet back in my possession and the all important keys to my sister’s house.

“Is she OK? Is there anything I can do?” said a man’s voice to my side. My saviour answered for me “She’s just shaken up, thanks. I’ll look after her. She’s got her bag back so there’s nothing for the Police to retrieve.” The man put a hand on my shoulder and said “I hope you’re OK, pet. Looks like that thug suffered more than you!” I nodded and gave a small wave of thanks as he got back into his car and resumed his journey.

The shock of the incident began wearing off at that moment and the pain in my stomach and leg became more obvious. My face felt sore too and I suddenly felt vulnerable and a little stupid for being in the position I found myself. Tears welled in my eyes and began to roll down my cheek and my body shivered.

“Do you think you can walk, sweetheart?” the girl asked and I nodded as I tried to straighten myself up. “Well, lets get you across the road and we can clean you up and maybe have a little drink to ease your nerves.” She put an arm around me and helped me back onto my feet while acting as a support I could lean into. I heard the sound of the pedestrian crossing and she said “Come on, we’re good to cross. That’s it, take your time” and I slowly made my way over to the other side of the street.

“What happened? I heard a car hitting something?” said a voice ahead of me but I was still looking at the pavement making sure my feet were still supporting me. “Some jerk tried to take her handbag and when he tried to run off he stepped in front of the car. Think he dislocated his shoulder, the turd – I hope it hurts” my assistant growled and then continued “Thankfully he dropped her bag so he only got pain for his efforts.” The voice said “Bring her in and we can patch her up in private.”

I realised I knew the voice from last night. It was the barmaid at The Basement Bar, and just as the penny dropped she said “Come on, sweetheart, lets get you to the ladies and see what’s needed.”

Still on the arm of my saviour I stumbled through the bar heading towards the bathrooms. The bar was silent as though there was nobody in but the barmaid called out “she was attacked outside for her handbag but the scum got away with nothing but a dislocated shoulder an some nasty bruising for his efforts. hell mend him. Get on with your evening – Anna can serve you while I deal with our friend here.”

With that, I was helped into the ladies toilets and sat on a chair in front of the mirror. Thankfully there was nobody else inside. The barmaid sat down next to me and held my hand. “Hello again! My name’s Jo. I’m the manager here. I’m really sorry this has happened to you. Are you injured or needing anything? Is there someone I can call for you?” I took a deep breath and lifted my head so that I could look her in the face and I gave her a weak smile. “I think I’ll live, thanks. Nothing’s broken – he gave me a kick in the shin and punched my body and face but I think all my teeth are still in place.” Then I turned looking for my good Samaritan and saw her standing behind me. “All thank’s to this good lady – but for her he was going to break my nose and do goodness knows what damage to me!” I looked her in the face and said “I can’t thank you enough.”

Jo replied “You were lucky that Kelly was on her way here! She’s got the best fists of all of us, isn’t that right babe?” Kelly smiled broadly and nodded. “When I was younger I was semi professional but decided I didn’t want to be a fighter. A defender, yes, but not a fighter. Lets have a look at that shin of yours.”

Jo and Kelly gently lifted my left leg and shook their heads. “Ruined a perfectly nice pair of tights, the swine” Jo said “I’ve got a spare pair in the office I’ll go get for you.” Kelly ripped the torn leg wide so that she could reach the scene of the impact. There was a slight cut and a lump was forming with the start of bruising which I knew would only get worse. “Let me dab that so that there’s no grit getting in” she said as she moistened a cotton wool ball and gently cleaned around the cut.

The door opened and Jo was back with a flesh coloured plaster and a replacement pair of tights. I was helped to my feet so that I could lift up my dress and pull down the damaged tights and replace them with the new pair. Then I was sat back down and told to keep my head up and take long deep breaths to calm me down. While I did, Kelly washed my face clean of my make up which had been ruined by my tears and the impact of a fist. From her own handbag she pulled out a small tube of foundation cream and applied it, then some eye shadow and a mascara brush to restore my eyes.

“Do you have your own lippy with you, sweetheart” she asked me and immediately added “Sorry, we’ve totally forgotten to get your name babe!” I stammered “Its Angus” but I was misheard and Kelly smiled and said “Hi Agnes, shame we had to meet under such circumstances but have you brought your lippy along tonight?” I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t expecting to need it” I mumbled and she nodded. “No worries, you can have a dab of mine – its about the same tone anyway. Pucker up for me?”

I felt her apply the lipstick and then I rubbed my lips together and saw my new friends smile. “There, you’re looking more like yourself again, Agnes! How’s your stomach – do you want a pain killer or would a whisky work better?” I smiled and said “I think a double would be in order, but only if I can but you both one too for all you’ve done for me.” Jo and Kelly looked at each other and smiled. “Very well, if it makes you feel better. Are you fit to head back next door?” I nodded and said “Yea, thanks again girls!” Jo squeezed my hand and said “We’re a band of sisters in here, Agnes, one for all and all for one. Welcome to the sisterhood!”