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Caution: referenced suicide attempt
so last night I dreamed that I was back in university and upon arriving in class I realized not only did I not bring my assignment, but I couldn't even figure out what the assignment was supposed to be.
But my reaction to this kinda scares me: I quietly packed up my stuff, slipped out of the class while the teacher was distracted, and started to walk back home.
If that wasn't bad enough, I planned that once I made it to my residence, I was going make a few preparations and then find a way to end my life.
I can only assume the sense of failure that was driving me in the dream has a lot to do with my current situation, where I've been struggling with that feeling in regards to my mom.
hugs appreciated, folks.
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I know it can be very
I know it can be very frustrating when helping family members. I care for my cousin, who is ten years older than I am, but somehow, when my uncle passed away, I became the parental figure for my cousin. He was born with severe brain injuries as the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck.
My cousin is quite sweet, and always happy, so people at church always tell me how wonderful he is, to which my response is, "You don't live with him."
The fact is, none of the homes will take him anymore as he got violent at one a while back. Without me taking care of him, there would be no place for him to go.
I've been at the end of the line as far as he's concerned many times, but I had a dream about him a year ago. It was quite simple but very effective in keeping me going. I was in heaven, and my cousin walked up to me, completely healthy, and thanked me for taking care of him.
Hugs!
Rosemary